>Out numbered 50 to 1 at first fight
>No way the DM would let us die that quick.

We all died.

>>18249896

And meanwhile the DM is thinking

>"There's no way they'll try to take on 50 guys at once, that'd be suicide!"

>We managed to sneak past the sleeping dragon?
>I go back to steal its largest gem!
Alarm goes off, dragon wakes up, dick ass thief dies.

>>18249922
This a thousand times! No matter how many times I glare, they always seem to think they can just kill everything!

>>18250417
In these cases you say 'are you SURE you want to fight them' until they get uneasy

>>18250482
I never say anything like that.

But my facial expression often say more than enough.

>>18249964
>In a dragons hoard
>Expected to not steal treasure
I hope that alarm made sense in context, because otherwise you sound like a dick.

>>18250508
The dragon was known to be a miser who kept careful taps on all his treasure.
We just needed to get passed him, can't remember why.

>>18249865
>Group: "Ok, we've planned this pretty thoroughly since the last session. This is sure to get us out of this jam."
>DM: "Are you sure?"
>Group: "On second thought..."

>>18250482
Sometimes that isn't enough... it works for the experienced players at least. But when I'm training n00bs...

>"We should kill him, just in case he's evil."

>>18250566
ARGH! THIS AS WELL. WHY PLAYERS WHY??

Player Logic?

My players have figured out the simple fact that the more free booze they feed me, the more insane shit they can get away with.

>We've been feeding him shots for a good hour now - I think now would be the best time to deal with those 50 guys!

Player Logic with a borderline-alcoholic GM.

>Half an hour of planing how to enter a room.
>DM starts rolling dice behind the screen.
>Everybody forgets the plan!

Be afraid of the dice of doom that lie behind the screen.

>Player Logic with a borderline-alcoholic GM.

Can't decide whether this is amazing or terrible

>naliana stomach,

Captcha why aren't you helping me out here :(

>>18250598
My players did that to me once. I ended up TPK them. It totally wasn't my fault, though; it was a CP2020 game, and they went into this ganger bar, to meet a Smith that was hiring them to do a little corporate subterfuge and sabatoge. Instead, half of them decided to go into the giant arena in the middle of the bar, and fight some gangers. The rest got swayed to go into the arena as well, despite me telling them (very sloppily, I was drunk) how intimidating the gangers were. And then they complained to me about gangers having assault rifles.

>Ask him who murdered all these people
>He's holding what? I want to kill him and take it.

Everyone's lawful good when it's convenient.

>>18250615
I've started pre-rolling everything to stop my players from using meta-knowledge.

>>18250637
I just roll when ever they do thing to keep them paranoid.

A small chuckle every once in a while after asking their rating in a certain state freaks them the fuck out.

>>18250637
Clever. I think I might start doing that myself.

>>18250674
Yeah, that's a classic. I've noticed that rolling behind the screen and then asking players their will saves or perception score or something along those lines keeps them on their toes nice and easy.
Also, rolling and then telling them 'You think you smell gas...but it's probably nothing' works like a charm.

>>18250615

My players always complain that they get terrified once I start rolling dice, and get angry over how often I roll them. I think they think I do it just to intimidate them. Sometimes I do.

Also, party members generally try to get away with more epic stuff when I've been smoking abit, which is fine by me, I tend to smoke a little before intense combat or awesome scenery sessions so that I blow their minds with badass combat descriptions and such.

>Okay so a group of hit men jump out of their cars and start firing at you. Wat do?
>I'm gonna throw a car at them.

>Your incredibly loud and obvious course of action as ensured that the police are now on your ass, how are you going to get out of this?
>Well, I guess it's time to steal a bus.

>try to open lock
>suddenly a guard behind you "Don't mowe! I got a crossbow aimed at you!"
>"no worries, I have enough hp to take a hit"

>Giant sorceror fortress, staffed by dozens of mages, monsters from the depths of hell, and a near limitless horde of angry spirits
>Hostage to be rescued is in the courtyard
>Attempt to take over the entire base

I can't fault their ambition...

>>18250969
I'd tell him that's metagaming and to cut that shit out.

>>18250982
Well, while certainly retarded, its not necessarily meta-gaming for a character to know what type of punishment they can and can't take.

>>18251025
He said "I have enough HP to take a hit". If he were to say "I like my chances" I'd let it slide, but thinking in pure metagaming terms is not okay.

>>18251025
But the crossbow bolt has been poisoned, so now the PC is dead.

>>18251025
crossbow bolt to the spine?
hurp durp no worries! I got enuff HP

>>18250969
Just play a system where one well aimed crossbow bolt can actually seriously incapacitate you if not kill you.

>>18250969
I'd be making him do the rolls to avoid coup de grace death.

Huh, i have an old one that's perfect for this...

>playing Dark Heresy
>PC lowish level acolytes sent to a world to investigate alleged heretical activity
>Meets the planetary governor in her palace (she requested the investigation)
>She is the most powerful person within a light-year, surrounded by guards armed to the teeth
>PC:"How's it goin' toots? Wow you're old. You probably don't get much action, huh?"

I should have had the guards cut out his tongue. I shouldn't be such a soft GM.

>>18252414
>I should have had the guards cut out his tongue. I shouldn't be such a soft GM.

And then your players throw a hissy-fit because you're railroading them!

>>18252414
Have them all executed for insolence. If they think they are powerful, remind them that they are not yet powerful.

>>18252551
As they are being imprisoned, pending execution, allow them to escape.

>100 foot tall frost giant child is playing with a village like it's a toy
>'Too bad we can't really do anything, not at level 1, better warn the next village to be on the lookout'
>'Fuck that! I run up and punch her in the toe!'

>We're captured.
>Weve been stripped to our underwear.
>They found EVERYTHING!
>We're manacled and marched out to the BBEG so he can gloat.
>BBEG knows we're bag-ass so he has a quantum minigun manned and ready to shoot us if we try anything.

"Hey guys... look... a quantum minigun... DIBS!"

>Escape attempt immediately ensues.
>Escape attempt results in tpk slaughter as minigun tears everyone to shreds.

"Hey, GM, you tricked us! You made us think that you put the minigun there for us to use."

facepalm.jpg

>Trapped on a bridge over an immeasurably deep fall.
>Difficult fight ahead. Encroaching lava flow behind.
>Bridge will surely be burnt by lava flow once it reaches the moorings on that side.

"Guys... jump off. The squishy guys have magic to feather fall or fly. The rest of us can survive a 20d6 fall from orbit."

>New House Rule: Calculate the damage as 1d6 per 10' fallen (so 300 feet is 30d6). Only apply 20d6 as actual damage. Any extra dice are rolled and used as if a coup d'grace had taken place. Fuck you and your fall from orbit.

>Playing in a sandbox.
>Tell players they can do anything. Go anywhere. The world is NOT set up so they're always in level-appropriate zones so they must take it upon themselves to be careful.

"But Mr. GM, sir, we only have a combined 116 years of gaming experience! How will we know if a fight is too tough before we get slaughtered?"

>Ok... so implement a system akin to /con from MMO's. Not a bad thing, as it turns out.
>Party meets trolls at first level. Smartly avoids the encounter.

"I thought this was a sandbox. We can't go anywhere. Those trolls are blocking our way?

>Point out that the map is HUGE and 'going around' is still an option... 126 years, my ass.
>They go around... arrive... nothing jumps out to kill them. No obvious dungeon entrance.

"I thought you said this was a sandbox. There's nothing to do!"

>You can go anywhere and do anything!

"The guy we met in town mentioned the beastie he ran away from right here!"

>Would you sit around in the same place for a week and a half if you were a beastie looking for food?

"Well... there's nothing to do. I hate sandboxes.

>Rocks fall...

"Rocs??? I /con!"

>Fuck you.

>Walking a pilgrim trail.
>At each site, various pearls of wisdom are bestowed.
>GM (me!) uses this as a way to let the players know that they're rushing headlong into stuff and not even trying to find ways to avoid combat.
>Find one of the sites along the trail is currently infested with insect-men.
>PC's reminded of the hive-mind that these things are reputed to share.
>Hide a short distance away, wait for one to come into view...

"YOO HOO!!!!"

>Insect man goes headlong at the sole person he sees.
>Gets ambushed by others.
>Quick fight ends with it dead, PC's hardly touched.

"Hey, guys... that worked well... let's keep doing it!"

>Set up ambush.

"YOO HOO"

>Almost the entire 'hive' comes after them and a huge fight ensues resulting in a PC being lost (captured... killed? Its never learned).

"We tried..."

>>18251062
>>18252645
Kind of a dick move, play a different system if you don't like how damage works out.

>Guys, its a sandbox.
>You can do anything. Go anywhere.
>You might uncover various adventure seeds but they're not all tied together... but some of them might be. You have to figure that out.
>Months of various events later...

"Let's spend hours trying to tie every event to the cult we don't like! Even though we know some of it is just the GM's random encounter chart!"

>Many plotlines lost or not investigated because they decide everything revolves around one.

>>18252788

Kind of a dick move to assume no one knows.

Dunno what you're used to but I never drop a house rule on my players in media res... unless they ask for something like, "How do I resolve this action that isn't covered by the rules?"

If I'm changing something, I'll say, "This is gonna more than likely get changed." and then we play it 'by the book' for whatever session we're in. In email, for the week between sessions, we'll discuss it and, as a group, decide on a rule. That's not to say everyone has to agree... but everyone gets a say in the process, anyway.

>>18252793

Yes... I don't like one silly rule so I must play an entirely different game.

>>18252788
>GM dislikes one small part of how damage is calculated
>GM makes minor houserule change to fix it
>"Play a different system"
>/tg/ logic!

>Shadowrun player's character fucks the whole party.
>One PC is killed as a direct result.
>truth comes out...
>Dead PC had an NPC lover... she pulls a gun on the double-crosser.
>Player tries to call the GM's bluff. She asks him questions so he'll have SOME way to talk his way out of it.
>He refuses to answer. He's 'calling the GM's bluff'
>She has him get on his knees.

"I do."

>She tells him to put his hands behind your back.

"I do."

>She walks behind him and puts the barrel of an Ingram Smartgun at the crown of his skull... all done SLOWLY so he has plenty of time to talk.
>Nuthin.
>Mage's player (group's asks her what she's doing.
>She says, "Nothing."
>Pulls trigger. Burst blows off double-crosser's head.
>Mage player actually screams a yelp as she's actually shocked.
>Double crosser's player rages.

"How can you let an NPC kill a PC???"

>wut???

>>18252895

I'm adapting that to real life. I wasn't happy with breakfast this morning so I'm slashing my wrists as I type this...

>>18252898
"Shut up, Hamburger Helper."

>>18252717
There's an anecdote that goes something like "The more detailed the world the GM builds the less fun the players will have with it."

What you've got there doesn't seem so much poor player logic as a GM being too heavily attached to their world.

>>18252898
What do they expect to kill the PCs?

>>18252898
"because I've been letting you try to walk away from it the last ten minutes and you wanted ME to rescue your PC for you, now go eat a dick"

it's the most sensible and delicate way to put it.

>Run a game heavily dependent on PC backstories.
>Give PCs a little bit about the world and tell them to write their backstory.
>Let them come up with whatever town/kingdom/whatever they want and have it in the game.
>Game is driven by plots either pulled from character's backstories or plots heavily drawing from/involving things from character's backstory.
>One player submits no backstory, just a general paragraph character concept.
>Have played a dozen sessions, they just sit there 90% of the time, sip their soda, watch everything unfold, barely talk.
>Every single session apologize that I don't have anything to make their character more central to matters.
>They never submit backstory.
>Never do anything at all to involves themselves in things.
>When I specifically ask what their character is doing they are always doing something mundane or just sitting back politely and watching/listening.

This might not really fall under ""PC LOGIC" but like...does someone really have fun not really doing anything and only saying three or four things in character over the course of a six hour session?

>>18252645
I also had that rule.
Bad guy was in a tower.
The bard is now flat.

>>18252927
oh,no, it's a matter of GM using the definition of "sandbox" that means "wide open world were you can do anything but that doesn't revolve around you, at all" while the players were using the one from most so-called "sandbox" vidyas:"succession of defined areas for grindan and sidequestan whit a few bottlenecks for cinematics you're gonna skip anyways on your way to completing a stale recycled plot""

>>18252645
Pretty sure there's a 50+ damage in one shot = instant death rule in the DMG.

>>18252992
It's optional and requires taking half of your HP in damage.
Massive Damage (Optional Rule): If you ever sustain a single attack that deals an amount of damage equal to half your total hit points (minimum 50 points of damage) or more and it doesn't kill you outright, you must make a DC 15 Fortitude save. If this saving throw fails, you die regardless of your current hit points. If you take half your total hit points or more in damage from multiple attacks, no one of which dealt more than half your total hit points (minimum 50), the massive damage rule does not apply.

>>18252928
Since this guy dicked over the rest of the group, other PCs apparently.

>I'm lawful good
>I want to go beat up the little girl selling flowers
why.jpg

Playing the 1st Edition Warhammer FRP game back in the late 80's. Two PC's got separated from the rest of the group and actually meet a real, honest-to-goodness dragon. Despite the players being aware of it, they never actually believe that this encounter takes place, though... To be honest, I didn't know (and still don't) if there ever were dragons in that setting but... whatever.

>Dragon is IMMENSE.
>One PC grovels and begs for his life.
>Other PC becomes Dweeby McSmartass
>Groveler grovels while Dweeby says everything he can to piss the dragon off.
>Dweeby notes he has a Fate Point.. Groveler whines that he doesn't.
>"Dude, don't worry... I'm sure we'll be ok."
>Dweeby looks up at the dragon and says (the player believing the GM wouldn't kill the groveler over something he says), "I dare you to breathe on me!"
>GM just shakes his head...
>Dragon breathes fire on him... which catches the groveler.
>Dweeby lives by virtue of his fate point. The groveler dies.

"I dare you to breathe on me." has, ever since, become the code for, "I'm out of ideas so I am about to try something stupid... get ready."

>>18252992
PHB.
50 points or more triggers a DC 15 fort save.

>>18252937

Yeah... I pretty much said that. It was more like, "I gave you every opportunity to talk your way out of it and you said nothing." and, "Technically, even monsters are NPC's. Who ELSE is going to kill a PC? Unless you do it, apparently?"

>thick black smoke has filled the hallway you passed through not an hour ago, blocking your only way back up to the earlier levels of the dungeon
>I walk through it
>why?
>I want to see what it does
>player proceeds to separate himself from the rest of the party while they are getting attacked by monkey creatures and lose two points of constitution for himself to the poisonous fog

>>18252587
>>100 foot tall frost giant child is playing with a village like it's a toy
Well, this sure sounds fetish!

>>18253009
Which edition. I think that was an optional rule in 3.x that my players (and I) wasn't thrilled with. Its a Save or Die that can be inflicted on a PC for doing exactly what he SHOULD be doing (like the Fighter standing toe to toe with a monster so the others can do their thing, for example). Dunno if that became something more than optional in 4e...

>>18252587
I don't think frost giants even get that tall, assuming this is D&D.

>Tell party that the game I have planned will run 12-15 sessions most likely.
>In-world will only span about 1 month, maybe a little more.
>Will actually be about three to four months, perhaps five months depending on whether or not we miss a few weekly sessions for unanticipated reasons.
>One player playing a female character is obsessed with getting his milf-librarian-wizard-lady knocked up.
>Has sex with all available NPCs and spends most of the roleplay fantasizing, wondering about the possibility of having a child, what they'd be like
>Spends all the OOC asking questions about half-breeds and mixed-race children her character might have with latest-npc-she-wants-to-fuck.

>>18252977
>"wide open world were you can do anything but that doesn't revolve around you, at all"

That's exactly the point I take issue with. The GM, I'm assuming you, created a world and dropped the PC's into it. It's very possible that you briefed them well on it and the dangers and tried to drop ideas for plot hooks and possible places to go for adventure, but the tale of 'player logic' reads like a GM that created a world and valued it over the players' enjoyment.

>>18252977
>>18252927

Yeah... I think its more the players doing the CRPG thing. Since this was Pathfinder's Kingmaker adventure path, I'm pretty sure its not that I overdeveloped my world...

>>18253053
Maybe the party was playing all tiny/fine races or...something? And 100 feet tall is actually a comparative measurement.

Unlikely, but maybe.

>>18252953
>This might not really fall under ""PC LOGIC" but like...does someone really have fun not really doing anything and only saying three or four things in character over the course of a six hour session?

If there's still combat to participate in or they like the story their friends are telling. I know a couple of people like this.

>>18253066
see
>>18253068

That's not what it was at all. Despite all the experience they've had, they really didn't have much experience with sandboxes.

Oddly, my Shadowrun campaign went on so long that it became a sandbox. It didn't start that way, though. Two of the players in my Kingmaker game were/are also in my Shadowrun game so they were around for that evolution. I think it was so seamless, they didn't even realize they were playing in a sandbox. They'd just show up one week and be like, "Guys, let's go deal with Burke. She has some splainin' to do." and *poof* adventure. I wouldn't have to dangle anything in front of them and we'd still get in a good session each time we played. Of course, from time to time, I'd break that up with a run.. They needed to make money, after all...

>>18253058
It's odd that I find this absolutely creepy.
But for some reason the girl in our group does that, and it's suddenly.. not creepy to me.

sigh. I hate you, beard in my neck.

>>18253084
Combat isn't as common as it is in most other games, I'm sure. Sometimes we go the full six hours without even one fight. Nobody complains though, and I've asked more than once if this pacing works for everyone and they say it does. On average I'd say there's maybe two or three battles a session.

I just can't imagine her actually enjoying barely participating, but I don't know why else she'd show up every week if she wasn't having fun.

>>18253099
>That's not what it was at all. Despite all the experience they've had, they really didn't have much experience with sandboxes.

Yeah seems to be a case of my early days of gaming coloring my perceptions, no offense meant in it.

>>18253043
>Which edition.

3.5 PHB, p.145, under 'Injury and Death'. It's not billed as an optional rule, but all the rules are optional anyway.

>>18253121
I swear I remember that being optional but, at the very least, we were aware of that rule and didn't like it for the reasons I'd noted. Poor melee'ers really didn't need one more "Fuck you." to deal with.

>Player rages over Wild Die rule in 2nd Edition D6 Star Wars

"This is a bad rule because it affects PC's more than NPC's!!!"

>EVERY rule affects PC's more than NPC's!

Contribootin

>>18253197
I know that feel.

>It's not fair, there's always a chance I'll fail!

>All human party.
>Characters enter an old, abandoned mine, completely in darkness.
>DM says that they smell gas in the air of the corridor they are currently.
>Characters can't see where they are going.

Mage: ''I light the torch.''

I don't mind when players forget some mundane details, but damn it how stupid can you get.

>NPC's can't hit PC except on a Natural 20.

"LOL!!! They can't hit me!!! I'm awesome!!!"

>PC can't hit NPC except on a Natural 20.

"Waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!! GM cheated!!! I'm gonna bitch and moan and pout and be a hemorrhoid infested asshole rather than try to come up with an alternate strategy!"

>>18253432
I hate dnd for this more than I hate yourp layers issue

but I just hate DnD

I REALLY take issue with this when it happens in fucking GURPS though, There are countless ways through any situation if only my players would realize combat ISNT required. Really, tis the only game I knwo where XP isnt based on combat, and they just treat every encounter as a combat encounter.

>enemy is insubstantial, making most of the party's combat options moot
>they specialize in "affects insubstantial" attacks for the next little while, but they are specializing for something that most likely wont encounter except in special cases
>party doesnt encounter more insubstantials
party bitches

I should have taken it as a hint that they want combat, and against ghosts, but goddamn, why so much combat players?

>GM photocopies (back in the 80's, again... ) relevant sections of rules for players since book gives away Big Secrets.
>Play for months... one player seems to have some keen insight.
>Naively, GM thinks "Wow... he's into this!"
>Eventually see player has the book with Big Secrets.
>Suddenly, truth is plainly obvious.
>Tells player not planning to make a big deal beyond asking to have the Big Secret book to forestall further "insight"

"Its your fault, GM. The photocopies were bad!!"

>Never can trust him again...

wishthatheneversaidthat.jpg

>>18253511
>why so much combat players?
The players talk with people every day, but they never get to kill people.

>>18253511

Pretty sure most modern renditions of D&D (Pathfinder, 4e) don't base xp on combat. A creature may be worth a certain number of xp but it can be 'defeated' in more ways than reducing its hit points. Any encounter with a Challenge Rating is worth xp.

>>18253564
This is /tg/. Atleast half of that statement is plain wrong, I'll let you figure out which one.

>>18253584
Well, okay, but if they never get to talk to people either then they've probably got a lot of rage to work out!

>>18253584
I want in on this secret /tg/ murder club.

>>18253772
Sure thing. Everyone gets a secret code name when they join. Yours is "Victim". Welcome to the club!

The /tg/ murder club, where our AC is only as high as our desire to murder.

>>18253808

My AC goes up whenever I drive in Manhattan.

>>18253823
Mine goes up by a shit-ton on International women day.

>>18252953
Are you me??

Everything you type hits home.

My no story player, when asked about his character has said two things to describe his character paladin.
"He is a racist"
"He believes Heironeous is an ANCIENT ALIEN!"

>>18253847
No, I'm not you.

Not yet.

>>18250504
>my facial expressions are more than enough
>no matter how many times I glare at them

Clearly, you're facial expressions are inadequate.

>Player distracts himself reading forums on his laptop, playing games on his Android phone, etc. His paladin does nothing.
>A mystery begins to unfold that implicates one of the other PC's in a murder. The married character is alleged to be making frequent visits to a house of ill-repute. He had denied it. Despite not having an alibi, the PC's believe him... but now the girl has turned up dead. The story is about to hit the streets and his reputation (not to mention his marriage, etc.) are about to become ruined. All of this appears to be the work of an insidious cult that is trying to undermine the stability of the nation the PC's are building and....
>Ask distracted player what the paladin is doing or how he's getting involved?

"Huh? What?? What's going on?

>Tell him he'd probably know more and be more involved if he wasn't distracting himself with his laptop and phone. Many GM's outlaw those things at the table but I'd prefer my players realize its inappropriate and detrimental on their own.

"Well... if something interesting would happen, I'd pay attention.

>Fuck you. Play your bubble shooter, cunt.
>Fun is had by all others.

>>18253895
>Have player just as described.
>Quietly and normally begin combat, he doesn't notice.
>Roll his initiative for him.
>Ask to borrow his sheet a second to check something.
>Slides it over, doesn't even look up from whatever it is he's playing.
>He dies.
>Four hours later, session is ending.
>"Oh, so what is going on?"
>"Nothing, you died hours ago."

>players need to meet a contact in exclusive nightclub
>group goes there without asking anything about the club
>bouncers don't let them in
>"I draw my gun!"
How could anyone believe this is a good idea?

>>18253432
Some people don't *want* challenge. They want main-character level invulnerablity.

And I'll freely admit I build my characters to that end. If I wanted to be a wuss who gets his shit slapped by every random orc, I wouldn't be doing all this min/max.

>>18253432
>>PC can't hit NPC except on a Natural 20.
>"Waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!! GM cheated!!! I'm gonna bitch and moan and pout and be a hemorrhoid infested asshole rather than try to come up with an alternate strategy!"

At low levels, alternate strategies consist of "I move around behind it so I can miss it unless I roll a nineteen or twenty instead."

>People are fighting a boss monster. Said monster is in the middle of a lake. Partners can walk on water or fly, but particular character can't do any of those things and since he's melee oriented, he can't reach the monster.
>Player asks the others to get the monster closer to him so he can contribute to putting it down.

Somehow the players hear this as 'leave him to me and do not interfere'. They lure the monster to him and do nothing else. PC gets his ass kicked to the Immaterium and back before the others finally get what he meant.

A lot of these are player logic more than PC logic...

>Player shows up to a session 3 hours late.
>First two hours were spent making PC's for the old FASA Star Trek RPG.

"Gimme the books. I'll make a character while you guys carry on."

>Game continues. Players have transported to a Klingon battlecruiser where a disaster has killed all but a handful of Klingons. Half are docile (and steered their way to Fed space for help), the other half are more violent than ever!
>Player spends about an hour and a half making the Chief of Security.
>The player is into martial arts so his character is decked out that way.
>Other PC's are trying to deal with the violent Klingon captain who has gained control of the ship and is trying to send it back across the Neutral Zone to Klingon space. He's locked in Auxiliary Control with a disruptor set on kill. He's disintegrated two Klingons already.
>Security Chief to the rescue!

"Transport me behind him!"

>Transports...
>Actually surprises the Klingon!
>Rather than shooting him with a phaser on stun, Security Chief decides to use the momentary surprise to move toward the Klingon.
>Klingon goes... shoots Security Chief with disruptor.
>Failed Luck rolls, etc...
>Chief of Security disintegrates...
>The character lasted less than 5 seconds!

"How can you do this to me, GM!!!!"

(This was the same "I dare you to breathe on me." guy)

>>18253914

Love it!

>>18253575
Did you fail to notice the GURPS drop there? We're not playing a game of murder-hobos off to collect magical trinkets and pay GP for XP for power
Seriously, reading comprehension...

>>18253931
>>18253931

Similar situation in Shadowrun...

>Players have a meeting in a place where they can't bring weapons.
>They manage to conceal a few and get them in, anyway.
>Meeting goes off well enough.
>Everyone leaves and head to their personal homes.
>One PC catches sight of a personal rival.
>GM just tossing in a "Damn... I wish I had my weapons!" scene for the player to wrinkle his nose at but....

"I give chase!"

>Motorcycle pursuit starts.
>NPC eventually has a minor crash... but he had no reason to be unarmed. Sets himself up to deal with the PC.
>PC races in, jumps off bike and says...

"I pull out my Light Machine Gun."

>Explain to PC that an LMG isn't something you 'pull out' (particularly not the model he owned).
>Then asked him where, exactly, had he hidden this LMG considering we went through the whole deal of going to the meeting unarmed, etc.

"I assumed I had it."

>Then is was up your ass.

"Ok... so I didn't have it. Shit... I wouldn't have chased him!"

>Fuck you. You didn't listen and you wasted half an hour of everyone's time chasing after this NPC so now you will get your ass-kicking for everyone else's enjoyment.

>>18254013
>We're not playing a game of murder-hobos

I guess you're playing a gang of murder-nerds?

>>18254013
You mentioned GURPS "...the only game I knwo where XP isnt based on combat"

I pointed out how that's not true and, in the process, apparently brought to light that I comprehend what you wrote better than you do. Lucky me.

>>18254044
...CURSES foiled again!
you win THIS round internet anonymous poster, but I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE
*ninja smoke bomb vanish!*

>>18254089
The smoke bomb was actually a magic ring of teleportation, not a smoke bomb pellet at all. Throwing it to the ground has broken it and transported you to a world quite unlike your own.

>>18253978
...does he do this a lot?

>>18254031

I dunno, man, you could theoretically cut him some slack for staying in-genre. They do shit like that all the time in the show to increase dramatic tension or make a scene look good, you can't really criticize someone for not using common sense when the source material doesn't use it.

>>18254224

In the show??? Shadowrun has a show???

Have I pulled a Dunham and crossed universes? If Over There has a Shadowrun show, I am pulling for their side.

>>18254369

Misquoted, I was aiming at the Star Trek guy.

>>18254224
He should be pleased to have been that season's traumatic death.

We were in a small town in a 3.5 campaign, when our party's vampire loli (A 6 ft. plus weaboo.) threw out some kind of demonic pet he had just received.

It proceeded to attack and consume a large crowd of people, with no signs of stopping. My character notices that the town's two strongest mages are currently floating in the air and charging some kind of combo spell for the creature, so I run into the strongest building around, the party following me: except for the vampire.

The vampire instead opts to go crawling over rooftops, and stops to watch what's happening.

The mages cast their spell, it's some kind of Spirit Bomb thing, hits the creature and obliterates it, then starts expanding outwards.

The vampire continues to clamber over buildings, with the spell gaining on her, until she drops in the sewer. The spell continues to come.

"I want to stop running, turn around and touch the spell."

The DM just glared at her, and started to roll dice.

"No, wait, I changed my mi-"

"You touch the spell, and disintegrate into nothingness."


Later that very session, the Incubus in our party (An ass who kept trying to rape the rest of the party; it's important to note that he had his pants count as a bag of holding. The loli would often hide inside of them.), came into possession of an invisible magic "dildo", that happened to be some kind of demonic maggot, evaporating anything it touches.

Only the Paladin and Paladin-Monk in our party can see what it actually is, but they convince everyone to back away.

The Incubus makes a few attempts to poke people with it, before getting bored.

"I'm going to open my pants and drop it in."

"You evaporate from the inside out, as the "dildo" falls into a nearby mineshaft, lost for eternity."

MFW we no longer have to worry about being raped.

>>18254449
>Reading story
>Oh god what a horrible double-that-guy party
>Both that guys are obliterated in one fell swoop

YES.

>>18254449

That's one way to deal with Incubi, I guess.

>Players come across the crash site they'd assumed they would find. There is wreckage and plenty to investigate.

Player A says, I am climbing a tree to be lookout."

>Player B find examines the fuselage and finds two bodies.

Player A says, "I examine the bodies!"

> Player C finds the luggage compartment with several intact bags.

Player A says, "I open the luggage!"

> Player D finds a survivor who was thrown clear of the crash site.

Player A says, "I ask him what happened!"

>>18254437

It wasn't lost on me. Federation transporters aren't silent.. .or fast, for that matter, particularly in TOS. But, for the sake of plot cohesiveness, I left it up to the Klingon's roll. He was, after all, kinda locked in a violent mindset (the Klingons were split in a trasnporter incident like Kirk in that one episode... but the violent guys began transporting their whole crew to purge any weakness). I asked, flat out, if he would risk that or use a phaser. He opted to take his chances.

You will never have a game finish as completely and satisfyingly as this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaDFkQ-s_CY

>>18254479

I am sending a brofist back in time for that GM for obliterating those characters... which will then promptly bitch slap him for letting those two assholes play their That Guy Abominations for long enough to be remembered.

>>18254937

You are right. I will never have a campaign be blocked by NBC Universal in my country on copyright grounds.

>>18250848
>'You think you smell gas...but it's probably nothing' works like a charm.
This is why I always play paranoiacs. It's never "probably nothing". Of course, this causes the opposite problem when it actually IS nothing and the character cannot be convinced.

>>18254891

Sounds like the That Guy who used to be in my group, who always wanted to do everything and play every role.

"Oh, I see you tried to save someone's life with Alchemy. I am going to start doing this too. What, I actually have to put points in Alchemy to do that? I can't just use my Knowledge: Arcana? Lame. Well, time to start putting points in Alchemy!"

He also tried to be the party tracker despite the fact that other people had points in Survival and he didn't, tried to be a front-line fighter despite the fact that he was a sorcerer (and got pissy when this almost killed him a few times and he didn't do as much damage with his dagger as the fighter did with their polearm), and attempted to be better at understanding nature than the NPC druid.

Sadly, that wasn't even his most annoying trait.

>Playing the official adventures
>After keep on the shadowfell, our party moves into the keep and sets up shop therein
>Proceed to wander about recruiting NPCs we rescue/interact with.

So far we have a Vampire lord called Nexul or somesuch who was to be a mini-boss but the way our DM played him came off as unintentionally funny as he failed a few stealth checks and we saw him sneaking behind pillars like a silent movie villain, then our rogue crited on an intimidate check and a few diplomacy rolls later he's chilling in our basement.

Oh, and an alchemist, a former-partymember turned business manager, several farmers and their families and so on and so-forth.

My character origin is that of a former nobleman turned wizard, I hope that in time I can set this place up as a minor kingdom.

>>18254966
5 star post

>Playing a Laweful Evil Wizard in an evil party Diablo game
>Other Player is a fairly new player playing a Chaotic Evil Fighter and I'm kinda watching over him
>While i town I said that I would buy some stuff and be right back
>He decides to sell to sell a Scroll on which he wrote words in diabolic as a magic scroll
>Shopkeeper doesn't fall for that, also charisma 7
>after a short time just starring at our DM he declares: "I kill him with my great axe"
>Brutally murders shop keepers and when the DM asked what he was going to do with the now screaming woman who was also in the shop he killed her with an iceblast ability from his cursed demonic helmet
>DM and me are shocked by pure randomness
>DM keeps up asks if he try to flee because of the sound of nearing guards
>Has 2 options: front- and backdoor
>chooses frontdoor
>black armored fighter with a demonic helmet and fresh blood on his great axe tries to convince the guards that he's not the murder, again 7 charisma
>Gets imprisoned, execution in the next 2 days
>FIRST 10 MINUTES I LEFT HIM ALONE IN THE WHOLE GAME

But i kinda like how our DM rolls with it, gave me some time to make a masterplan to overrun the city with skeletons after killing the 2 clerics of the village and saving him dramaticly on his execution day giving him his new forget black great axe and be a pimpin prepared wizard all over the place

>Party is level 3.
>Exploring a forest, come across a cave.
>Inside the cave is a sleeping adult green dragon.
>"We can totally take it guys!"
>Everyone dies except the wizard who cast invisibility and ran at the beginning of combat.
>BUT WHY WAS THERE DRAGON

>>18255159
Why was there a dragon?

Was it supposed to be a social thing or did you intend for it to kill them?

You seem like a jerk.

>>18255171
Actually, I was the wizard. And apparently the dragon was there as a plot hook or something, but I don't know.

>>18255179
Your DM seems like a jerk then.

>>18255171
Not the guy you're talking to, but I run a sandbox custom setting and there are plenty of things that could kill foolish players.
Of course, none of the players have ever died from them

>>18255194
It just seems like a flawed thing, the DM essentially breaks the game for everyone but the guy playing Wizard.

How the hell is he going to res the rest of the party?

He isn't, that's how. They'd have to re-roll characters, and who needs that shit?

>>18255211
The DM isn't very good. He's just stupid for making one of the first plot hooks something that is basically begging the PCs to attack and get murdered. Obviously he should invoke his god power and retcon that whole situation. But like I said, I have plenty of random monsters in my setting that obviously outrank the PCs, yet they've never been brutally killed by one of them. It's just the DM's handling

>>18255171
>>18255179
>>18255184
>>18255194
>>18255211

It's called "schmuck bait". In other words, something you leave out knowing people are likely to fuck themselves over with.

Some players expect the GM not to do the equivalent of throwing a random encounter Tarrasque at them, IE that what they encounter will be somewhat feasible for them to confront in whatever fashion. However, if the dragon was some massive behemoth and they were level 5 or whatever, then yes that's usually a cue you're supposed to do something other than fight it.

So yes, the players were probably schmucks, and yes, the GM was almost certainly an asshole for baiting them.

the bottom of an abandoned wizards tower is flooded?

TREASURE

fighter tie this rope around your waist and jump in

THE FISH ARE BITING BAAAACK
AQUATIC GHOUUUUUUUUULS
>barely survive

THERE MUST BE AWESOME TREASURE IN THAT AQUATIC DEATH TRAP

After using up our dailies merely to survive the dozen aquatic ghouls, the fighter recovered his ever burning torch, and a magical frictionless frying pan.

>SUCCESS

>>18255278

I had a character that would have considered that GREAT SUCCESS.

But then she was super-dedicated to cooking for the party and making sure they had an awesome dinner every night, and was constantly researching ways to cook the monsters they killed.

They had to explain to her several times that no, she was not allowed to make orc steak.

>>18255288
Why though?

Seems entirely justified.

>>18250552
regarding the "Are you sure?" GM tool...

I have a player that answers always "Yes.", "Yup." and various derivations of them.

Sadly his not being able to take a hint has made his ideas and plans be disregarded by the group.

Unfortunately he does the best and most thorough plans and schemes.


I was honestly trying to give a helping hand, since the "Are You sure?" was a way to hint to some problems due to their insufficient data. - the stumbled into a adventure without plothook or exposition.

This may have the consequence of the guy starting to plan against the group in frustration, and i don;t know how to mend the situation.

>>18255263
It depends, really. How can a party of 3rd level characters hope to take on a dragon? If they're such scmucks that they try, I can't really fault the GM for that. If he suckered them with an NPC that presented no evidence of his uberness and then mopped the floor when the PC's figured they could take him, then I agree with you wholeheartedly. That GM would most definitely be an asshole.

>>18255289

S'what she said. "I cook everything else we kill in combat. Well okay not the kobolds because diseases, but everything else!"

>>18255323
Maybe they figured that it'd be a social encounter.

Dragons are often rather talkative.

>>18255372
She makes a good argument.

Get her to cook orc meat for herself, then the DM might slap her character with nausea until next extended rest or something.

Retconning sucks... but one bit of player (il)logic led to one of the most famous retcons in my 34 years of GM'ing...

> Shadowrun. Players are expecting bad guys to try and hit them.
>They go to a club.
>One of the players oddly tells me that he's putting his helmet on the table facing him.
>Uhhhh.... ok?
>Bad guys come in.
>Some go to talk to the PC's.
>No one is watching the door so they signal others to come in.
>Talk goes badly.
>Fight ensues.
>Players are hit hard.
>Some unconscious. All wounded.
>I ask, "If you knew they were coming, why didn't you keep watch on the door?"
>The player with the helmet reminds me that the helmet he carefully arranged had a camera in it that his display link could see through... something created MONTHS before.
>"And why didn't you remind me????"

The fight wouldn't have happened. It changed things so much that I retconned the whole thing. The actual fight was a slaughterfest for the NPC's. PC's barely got scratched.

The players (which included my GM from another game) said they were immeasurably impressed that I would retcon the scene. I said I wasn't looking to screw them and anything else would have been unfair.

>>18255323
>How can a party of 3rd level characters hope to take on a dragon?

Maybe they figured it was a dragon tailored to their character level.

You know that you're not strictly bound to exactly the way a monster is laid out in the Monster Manual/Bestiary, don't you? Among other things some GMs take level appropriate monsters and "reskin" them, simply changing their look and the descriptions of their abilities, to turn them into a new monster or a higher-level monster but in a form that the party can fight.

Plus just saying "Well obviously it was a social encounter!" isn't an excuse. What if they recognized it as a social encounter but it got fucked up through die rolls or just saying the wrong thing? Was it still going to fry them? If so, then recognizing it as a social encounter was not guaranteed to keep them from being completely fucked. If not and it was going to just ignore them no matter how much they insulted it or refused to do its bidding in the social encounter, then it could have just as easily ignored the physical attack, looking down at the fighter's sword fruitlessly pinging off its scales and say "Excuse me wtf r u doin?"

Face it, dropping a monster that's way above the characters' weight limit on them and then wiping the floor with them because they didn't think you'd be that sort of dick (and you thus felt the need to prove that you were) is not good GMing. There were plenty of ways to handle it other than "He instagibs you for your hubris."

>Be impatient, don't bother to pursue quest.
>"I stab the quest giver."
>"Are you SURE you wanna do that?"

>>18255461
Maybe it's down to you to make the quest seem more interesting.

Maybe the player was trying to send you a hint.

>>18255408
Or maybe you could stop assing that everything you see is something for you to kill. That's the exact type of stupid PC logic this thread is mocking. Not everything is a combat encounter.

It wasn't like he fucking hid it. It's a big ol fucking scary dragon. I cannot imagine a more universal 'this will kick your ass' sign.

>CE Bard is working with a Vampire Lord to help find a specific corpse for a quest.
>Party's Invoker claims it is his 'divine duty' to slay the Vampire Lord.
>To get him off the subject, I have his God send him messages trying to keep him from doing so.
>He doesn't care, claims to be in character, and tries to slay the Vampire Lord anyway.
>Invoker is barely alive with 1 hp
>Then gets angry at the group for not helping
>Group's assassin gets pissed, poisons the helpless Invoker.
>Invoker blames me for putting an unkillable monster.

>>18255543
I guess he wasn't very good at..... invoking your pity.

>>18250674
The best is rolling, "What's your perception/defense of choice/insight/nature? Okay, nevermind."

They get so paranoid because then they hear dice going down and they freak.

New campaign just started. I wasn't able to make it to the first session, so I jumped in on the second one. Got my shiny new ranger all ready to go.

The party gets invited to have dinner with the marquis who rules the area. His manor is full of creepy shit, and the marquis himself has a supernatural presence that my ranger can pick up on, but nobody else has the ability to notice. The marquis even jokes that there are rumors around town that he's a vampire. Something is amiss here. So I decide to investigate. Here's where the player logic comes in:

>Nobody else has stealth skills like I do, so we'll be more likely to be noticed if I take them with me.
>I have far better perception skills than everyone else, so if there's anything worth seeing, I'll be the first to see it anyway. No need for the others.
>Hell, this'll be at night, and I'm the only one with night vision.
>If I run into guards, I'll just run away. I'm faster than everyone else, so I'm the most capable of fleeing if the shit hits the fan.

So in my brilliance, I decide to go investigate this place alone, without even telling the party where I'm going. I'm sneaking through the woods around the marquis's manor, trying to see if there's anything freaky going on.

GM asks for a stealth roll. Not a good roll on my part, but my high skill and good stats should make up for it, I think.

GM asks for a perception roll. Oh shit, I think, something saw me. I roll perception. I roll absolute, abject shit. The patrol consisting of two guards and their dog jump me. Oh shit. Gotta endure a surprise round. Maybe I'll roll well on defense and...nope, rolled utter shit again. The guards killed me before the dog even got to act.

The moral of the story? If you suspect someone of being the BBEG of the module, don't go to his castle alone.

>>18255535

I notice you completely ignored everything about "Well what if they fucked up the social encounter?"

Swing at that strawman all you like, your one-handed weapons skill still won't level up.

Player Logic: The Movie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idg7A0o0xsk

>>18252645
Terminal velocity is a thing.

>group of all first timers
>4/6 chaotic neutral
>paladin acts as if they're chaotic neutral
>be the only player that ever acts like a decent human being
>constant thievery and scamming that would put most at evil

>GM asks players to make a climbing roll to do some mountaineering.
>Player with some real life climbing experience begins rattling off questions that only someone with climbing experience would think of, let alone know the answer to.
>GM has no clue and its not important. He simply iterates that its a moderately difficult climb and asks the player to make the roll.
>Player argues that he would find a chimney to climb since that's easier.
>GM says that the party's skill has already helped them find what appears to be the best place to make the ascent.
>Player with climbing skill asks the other players the same stupid questions which they cant answer.
>Player with climbing skill says they couldn't have found the best place to climb if they didn't know something as simple as looking for a chimney.
>GM asks the player for the carbon content level of the steel in his weapons he crafted for himself.
>Player has no clue.
>GM explains that sometimes you have to accept that the characters do what they're supposed.
>Player huffs.
>Kicker: his character has no climbing skill.

Different game, same player
>GM tells the player he's arrested for having an illegal weapon.
>Lone Star cop cuffs him and takes him to the precinct house for processing.
>GM says that, during processing, he's allowed a phone call. Asks who he will call.

"No one. I demand to be released due to false arrest. The cops didn't read me my rights."

>GM says he's sure they did.
>Player complains that the GM never said they did.
GM asks when the last time the character cleaned his weapons.
>Player uhhhhhs...
>GM explains that, much as the player's character is expected to perform his job properly, the cop would know what to do and act accordingly.
>Player huffs.

It happens... every... fucking... time.

>>18256037
Thanks, Newton.

>>18256165
>Kicker: his character has no climbing skill.

Mother of god

>>18256360
His point was that the 20d6 cap on fall damage was supposed to represent terminal velocity. By removing it, the DM is effectively saying that terminal velocity is either not a thing, or so arbitrarily high that it may as well not be a thing.

>PC logic made into a film...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ul4CZrnEFxU&feature=related
>america sucks, I'm gonna die, let's go kill people who piss me off. hey, this girl wants to tag along, let's turn her into a psycokiller too...

>>18257012
I feel like I shouldn't like that movie. I know there's some kind of reason not to.

But I can't help but feel a little satisfied after watching that trailer.

>>18253002

Page 145, PHB 3.5.

Massive Damage is a standard rule. The DMG alternative version actually modifies the base DC15 save.

>>18256526

Yes... and sarcastically calling him Newton meant that Terminal Velocity really isn't a factor. The damage system is arbitrary. Laws of physics are violated by the rules all the time... particularly with falls. It takes longer than a 6 second round round to reach terminal velocity (closer to 3). In fact, he can't reach terminal velocity in 200 feet (thus 20d6) but that's where we cap damage. AND we're quite willing to let a person fall far enough to reach terminal velocity AND impact the ground in a single 6 second round.

Fuck terminal velocity.

>"But people have survived falls from extraordinarily high heights!"

Considering the 20d6 is the only real damage the character takes, it can be argued that Terminal Velocity is still "a thing". Everything else is an arbitrary way of representing the myriad variables that had to be just right for some of those extraordinary falls to be survivable.