!FLAREjMfh. 03/08/12(Thu)13:44 No.18254449
File: 1331232286.png-(64 KB, 336x336, alwayssmile.png)
We were in a small town in a 3.5 campaign, when our party's vampire loli (A 6 ft. plus weaboo.) threw out some kind of demonic pet he had just received.
It proceeded to attack and consume a large crowd of people, with no signs of stopping. My character notices that the town's two strongest mages are currently floating in the air and charging some kind of combo spell for the creature, so I run into the strongest building around, the party following me: except for the vampire.
The vampire instead opts to go crawling over rooftops, and stops to watch what's happening.
The mages cast their spell, it's some kind of Spirit Bomb thing, hits the creature and obliterates it, then starts expanding outwards.
The vampire continues to clamber over buildings, with the spell gaining on her, until she drops in the sewer. The spell continues to come.
"I want to stop running, turn around and touch the spell."
The DM just glared at her, and started to roll dice.
"No, wait, I changed my mi-"
"You touch the spell, and disintegrate into nothingness."
Later that very session, the Incubus in our party (An ass who kept trying to rape the rest of the party; it's important to note that he had his pants count as a bag of holding. The loli would often hide inside of them.), came into possession of an invisible magic "dildo", that happened to be some kind of demonic maggot, evaporating anything it touches.
Only the Paladin and Paladin-Monk in our party can see what it actually is, but they convince everyone to back away.
The Incubus makes a few attempts to poke people with it, before getting bored.
"I'm going to open my pants and drop it in."
"You evaporate from the inside out, as the "dildo" falls into a nearby mineshaft, lost for eternity."
MFW we no longer have to worry about being raped.