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  • File: 1330308045.jpg-(88 KB, 599x599, Earth.jpg)
    88 KB Zerg Quest LXXVI Cerebrate Anon 02/26/12(Sun)21:00 No.18113066  

    (Sorry I crapped out last week. My Internet died for almost 3 hours. Terrible. Just terrible)

    Almost every combat-ready unit in the Swarm arrives simultaneously over the homeworld of humanity. Kerrigan's network of spies and the memories of the few UED Terrans we've infested had given us an idea of what to expect, but it is still a shock to notice the differences between the Earth we had seen in VoidGate and the Koprulu Terrans' histories and the Earth we see now.

    The planet itself is mostly the same. Its waters are duller with pollution, its clouds darker with the same, and its landmasses are clearly home to an ecumenopolis, but the real changes are further up.

    Humanity has cannibalized the entire star system. Six orbital platforms hover over Earth, as well as at its stable Lagrange points. Mars has three platforms. Jupiter's planetary mass is 25% less than VoidGate's records, owing to the massive atmospheric mining facilities there. Saturn's mass is down by 18%. Venus' atmosphere is nearly breathable, as the habitation zones float along, harvesting its excess gases to be sent off-planet, simultaneously terraforming the world as it produces valuable trade resources.

    (Scheduling: I'm apparently ok for Sunday or Thursday of next week. People have been telling me I need to leave my apartment more often, though, so let's just do one. I'm told if you wake up at just the right time, you can see a big yellow light in the sky!)

    >> Anonymous 02/26/12(Sun)21:03 No.18113108
    >Saturn's mass is down by 18%
    That is ridiculous given the tech represented in Starcraft.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/26/12(Sun)21:12 No.18113245
    Perhaps most notable is the Earth's moon, once a barren white rock. Now, it resembles a robotic version of Zerg World, a gigantic weapon, honeycombed with power sources and supports for its two massive plasma turrets, both of which are firing at the fleet of ships assaulting the system. That fleet, dancing on psionic threads by Dyles' parasitic fingers, is massive. It is clear that the sheer logistics of this battle are wearying the Terrans. Science vessels float in space, their sensors running wild as they coordinate for parts of the human fleet which ships are compromised, and which are friendly. Standard IFF signals are worthless, as Dyles surely forges them.

    As we arrive, Cyberbrate quickly analyzes all of the information flowing through the system. It begins painting our vision with understanding of which ships are our enemies.

    As the battle rages, and our carapaces weave in and out of the metal shells of our foes and our allies, we delight in Gorn's slaughter, we share in Warbrate's exhilaration at preserving vital targets, and we squirm with the pain of dying so many little deaths. The slaughter is immense.

    Cyberbrate brings to our attention three things of note:
    1 - Many of Dyles' boarding vessels have taken up positions closer to the science vessels. If they are compromised, the UED may lose the ability to determine which ships belong to it. Cyberbrate might be able to take over coordinating, but it's possible that the Terrans wouldn't accept it, or that it will be less effective from half a galaxy away.

    (Field too long? Fine! CONT AGAIN)
    >> TUCAMP 02/26/12(Sun)21:13 No.18113278
    You must be new.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 02/26/12(Sun)21:14 No.18113287

    I prefer Thursday, but either day is fine for me. Any idea why your internet crapped out last week?

    Waiting patiently to address the battle in progress
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/26/12(Sun)21:15 No.18113292
    2 - Very near the sun, Mercury has been converted into a power station, harvesting the sun's rays and charging huge batteries. Kerrigan's intelligence suggests that this is one of only four worlds producing these batteries, which form a large portion of the UED's planetary power grids. About a third of Dyles' combat forces have made subtle movements indicating that they are drawing the fight away from Mercury. Cyberbrate and Warbrate both agree that this seems suspiciously like a feint to make Mercury vulnerable. This wouldn't cripple the UED, but it would certainly hamper the power consumption of their worlds, imposing, at the least, serious power rationing.

    3 - All UED out-system communication is coordinated through the Titan comm station. The station just went completely silent. Cyberbrate suspects that a ship managed to land and infect the staff. As with any infection, this is dangerous to the UED, but with all of Earth's communications under its control, Dyles could wreak havoc on the entire UED.

    Cyberbrate wants to know which of these are our greatest priority, and how we wish to address them.

    (Depends. The science vessels in cutscenes were fucking massive. If Earth didn't have crystals, we would have been harvesting the solar system hardcore before we ever left. And then to power an interstellar empire?)
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/26/12(Sun)21:17 No.18113346
    No idea! I was trying to post about the battle, and suddenly nothing but Google would load. Then nothing would load. I tried three computers, switched up cables, power-cycled everything, and still nothing.

    Apparently, it interrupted my computer's automatic updates. Windows was very unhappy about that. It's not often that I commiserate with Windows.
    >> TUCAMP 02/26/12(Sun)21:19 No.18113387
    2 3 1, in that order. The defense grid can just start blasting everything if it has to. And I have to ask, what are our chances to get Dyles and the UED to destroy each other enough so that we can take Sol System as our own?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/26/12(Sun)21:24 No.18113462
    >The odds

    In all seriousness, it depends on how we deal with the fight. If Cyberbrate lies to them about which ships are friendly, or if we take Titan and tell the rest of the Directorate that Sol is too infected to be saved, well...who knows?

    Of course, either of those plans could backfire, too.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 02/26/12(Sun)21:25 No.18113469

    >Weak points everywhere

    1: Message whatever High level UED personnel we can get ahold of and let them know about the developing situation. Suggestions are to let us provide them with additional security and escorts or begin evacuating the science vessels and self destructing them after pointing them in Dyles's direction. Either way, offer to take over their IFF situation

    2: Message the Terrans around Mercury about what Dyles is up to, tell them to pull back and let us handle him or continue pursuing him and let us take over defense

    3: Swarm the moon with ground forces and take the comm facilities back, get ready to operate it ourselves if necessary
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/26/12(Sun)21:26 No.18113493
         File: 1330309586.jpg-(22 KB, 450x314, HanSolo.jpg)
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    Damnit, Captcha. That post doesn't make sense without the picture!
    >> Big Fat Zergling 02/26/12(Sun)21:30 No.18113574

    Fucking love that shit, eh?


    I'm of the opinion that we should try to act like the ideal allies. The more they come to depend on us the easier it will be to crush them or force them into vassalhood like we did with the Koprulu terrans
    >> TUCAMP 02/26/12(Sun)21:34 No.18113631
         File: 1330310042.jpg-(35 KB, 300x430, tumblr_l4u9z8dKd91qcy5oao1_400.jpg)
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    So we're Harrison Ford now? I'm okay with this, because it makes the Overmind Sean Connery.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/26/12(Sun)21:35 No.18113645
    But which of our cerebrates is Shia Labouf?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/26/12(Sun)21:35 No.18113656
    Is this how everybody's wanting to handle things, then?
    >> Big Fat Zergling 02/26/12(Sun)21:36 No.18113657

    >> TUCAMP 02/26/12(Sun)21:36 No.18113663
    I wasn't saying backstab right this second, but was more throwing the idea out there so people can mull it over and when the battle is drawing down more people will be amenable to having the UED for dessert.
    >> TUCAMP 02/26/12(Sun)21:39 No.18113707
    I'd argue Bernie, tried to take us on, failed miserable.
    It seems like a sound plan, and I have no complains, we did just get here after all. Maybe the UED has a plan, better make sure they know we're not EVIL AND HERE TO CONSUME THEIR PUNY GREY MATTER!
    >> Big Fat Zergling 02/26/12(Sun)21:41 No.18113719

    We could always offer to leave a sizable fleet in system as security against future attacks after the battle
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/26/12(Sun)21:46 No.18113793

    Anyway, if that's our plan, then I need 3d100. Expect this to be tricky.
    >> TUCAMP 02/26/12(Sun)21:46 No.18113799
    And broadcast ZergTV, can't forget ZergTV "With everything from Alpha Centauri cooking shows to Zgrukjith's Xeno-biology Power Hour, ZergTV is your one stop shop for everything. Check your local listings"
    >> Big Fat Zergling 02/26/12(Sun)21:47 No.18113811
    rolled 91, 50, 29 = 170


    It wouldn't be Zer Quest without complications

    And why am I rolling when I suck so hard?
    >> TUCAMP 02/26/12(Sun)21:47 No.18113815
    rolled 96, 90, 98 = 284

    >> Big Fat Zergling 02/26/12(Sun)21:48 No.18113832

    >96, 90, 98

    Holy Fucking Christ
    >> TUCAMP 02/26/12(Sun)21:49 No.18113837
    You either did good twice, or bad twice.
    It's either really good, or I've completely screwed us.
    >> Anonymous 02/26/12(Sun)21:49 No.18113842
    rolled 61, 68, 29 = 158

    Here goes
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/26/12(Sun)22:09 No.18114119
    >rolled 91, 50, 29

    After a few moments, our signal is answered and referred upward. Less than a minute later, a slightly overweight black man comes over the link. He is visibly surprised at us.

    "Good GOD. I'd say you're a sight for sore eyes, but...Anyway, I'm Defense Director Tyson. You're our not-quite-ally, I guess. I'm trying to coordinate Sol's defenses, so if we can make this quick..."

    We inform him of the danger the science vessels are in, and offer to take over for them. He is extremely skeptical, but he agrees that losing IFF would mean sure defeat.

    The science vessels jump to warp, seeking safety elsewhere. Cyberbrate interrupts our ZergTV broadcasts in UED space to commandeer the communications transmitter for the Earthbound operations. Unfortunately, it quickly becomes clear that the separation between Cyberbrate's systems, the transmission system's systems, and the UED fleet's systems is slowing the UED's response time. The IFF hasn't been lost, but it's barely keeping up with the battle.

    (More coming as fast as I can type!)
    >> TUCAMP 02/26/12(Sun)22:13 No.18114179
    My rolls are being ignored. BFZ's rolls must result in more FUN! It is the only explanation.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/26/12(Sun)22:16 No.18114205
    >rolled 96, 90, 98

    Thankfully, the ships being drawn away from Mercury respond to our hails, and almost all of their commanders immediately see that they're being baited away. We quickly coordinate with them to free up a corridor directly to Mercury. A few moments later, when Dyles' strike force comes out of warp, expecting to dash Mercury's power stations to rubble in a minute and join the battle, they instead find scourge waiting to tear them to shreds. We even manage to direct their rubble into the sun, instead of the planet. Mercury is completely intact.

    >rolled 61, 68, 29

    Our six functioning zergleks lead the landing party to Titan. the transmission station covers two-thirds of the moon, but life signs are almost all concentrated near the central operations area. After covering some ground, we come up against fire. It is the facility's remaining crew, holed up in the central operations area. Unfortunately, they aren't alone. They were hit just ten minutes after signalling the fleet that Sol was under attack.

    It is very unfortunate, after hearing of how well these civilians have held off the amphibian menace, that not a one survives the oncoming attack. We also suffer losses, but our zergleks all survive, and we brought enough other ground forces to hold the station.

    Much of the equipment is smashed, and the station's crew is all dead, but the Titan communications array is out of Dyles' hands.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 02/26/12(Sun)22:16 No.18114207

    I actually prefer this, though I hate to waste such an incredible set of rolls
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/26/12(Sun)22:17 No.18114229
    >> Anonymous 02/26/12(Sun)22:24 No.18114308
    Oh you.
    >> TUCAMP 02/26/12(Sun)22:24 No.18114311
         File: 1330313063.png-(170 KB, 1297x616, mlp___philomena_by_omgklint-d4(...).png)
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    You... *wags finger* That gotch has forces my hand, or tubes as the case may be. Now that we've saved the science vessels, mercury, and "saved" titan, how goes the battle, and let's ask Kerri to think of how to spin this whole thing into a grand backstab, If anyone can figure t out it's her.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 02/26/12(Sun)22:25 No.18114328

    In short: Their IFF capabilities are intact, if less efficient, Mercury was entirely preserved, but their communications with the rest of their directorate was cut off.

    Signal UED high command again, offer to step in as an intermediary communications system until they can reestablish contact with the rest of their worlds.

    If they have any messages they want sent out, we'd be happy to relay them
    >> TUCAMP 02/26/12(Sun)22:30 No.18114399
    Be sure to have whatever zerg we're talking through wear a 1920's press fedora, if we have one on hand. No sense waiting a few hours just for a laugh that they wont notice anyway.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/26/12(Sun)22:36 No.18114494
    >How goes the battle

    That's a 3d100 type of question, one for each army.

    >ask Kerri to think of how to spin this whole thing into a grand backstab

    "I'm glad you asked! The simplest way, of course, would be to use your control of the UED's IFF to maximize their casualties, but there's a chance they'll figure out what's happening. Another way would be to use the Titan array to ruin the Directorate's interplanetary comms network, either through your pet planet or just by destroying the thing. Last, but not least, you could use this confusion to send a few of those infestation virus missiles you've got gathering dust to get the juices flowing in Earth's atmosphere. Or you could just turn on them as soon as Dyles' forces start to retreat. Brutal and inelegant, but you might still win."

    Tyson assures us that there's nothing outside of the system that he'll need to address until this is over.

    Pffft. Like Artisanlord doesn't already have fedoras with PRESS written on them. Come on.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 02/26/12(Sun)22:36 No.18114497

    I bet Artisanlord has one stashed somewhere.

    The question is, what type of Zerg critter is going to wear it? Personally I like a thumbling for the job. He can also have a notepad and pen to jot things down with
    >> TUCAMP 02/26/12(Sun)22:42 No.18114566
    I can't believe I forgot about the infestation missiles! Not that we ever used them, I don't think. Can we use what's left of the titan array to determine the locations off every UED world? And maybe we should dust off those missiles, and make a few more, say enough to hit every single UED world when this is over.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 02/26/12(Sun)22:44 No.18114610

    We've got plenty of nukes, we should switch Nuke World to production of infestation missiles.

    We should also test out infestation missiles on Dyles! Even if they don't work or have limited success, they'd be a great distraction
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/26/12(Sun)22:47 No.18114641
    (I remember us firing them at an orbital platform, and I think we might have used them on Icarus, but honestly, it's been a long time.)

    We could easily get a map of the entire UED from the array. If we let Cyberbrate's IFF functions slip a little, we might even be able to get good approximation of what forces are left out there, aside from the ones in the pitched battle here in the Sol system.
    >> Anonymous 02/26/12(Sun)22:47 No.18114643
    rolled 74, 30, 80 = 184

    Alright, I'll bite.

    How are the three armies doing?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/26/12(Sun)22:48 No.18114650
    Nuke World in the Koprulu Sector, or Nuke World II in UED space?
    >> Big Fat Zergling 02/26/12(Sun)22:50 No.18114691

    I'd wait until the battle is well in hand before we risk compromising our ally's combat capabilities.


    >> Anonymous 02/26/12(Sun)22:51 No.18114696
    Let's do both of those things, and cover the slip with "Technical difficulties, please stand by."
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/26/12(Sun)22:54 No.18114756
    (You two need to duke that out before I can tell you how the battle's going. Also, I'm still waiting on your second roll for the battle. Best of the two, for each army)
    >> TUCAMP 02/26/12(Sun)22:55 No.18114773
    When did we build a nuke world MK II?
    How much of a slip, a minute or several? I suppose we could also just wait for a lull in/the end of combat to do it.
    >> TUCAMP 02/26/12(Sun)22:56 No.18114791
    rolled 91, 83, 23 = 197

    >> Anonymous 02/26/12(Sun)22:57 No.18114815
    rolled 72, 77, 78 = 227

    >> TUCAMP 02/26/12(Sun)22:58 No.18114835
    rolled 4, 54, 58 = 116

    74/91 30/83 80/23, Well, I say it's a wash since the best would be 91 83 80. Someone is ahead slightly.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/26/12(Sun)23:00 No.18114882
    We started it once we branched out from Lutrious in UED space. It's still got very few active warheads, since we stopped production on both Nuke Worlds to offset the cost of our heighliners. Accountantbrate thinks we could definitely afford to start both back up with infestation missiles, or just one with nukes.

    Or both with nukes, if we want it to stop saving up for more heighliners.

    >How much of a slip?

    It would be a slip in efficiency, rather than a complete interruption of service. It would still affect combat efficiency of the UED fleet by a noticeable margin.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 02/26/12(Sun)23:04 No.18114951

    Infestation missiles, ahoy!

    And wait until the battle start winding down to start doing a headcount of all their forces. If they ask, we just tell them that this shit is hard and we were lucky to last as long as we have
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/26/12(Sun)23:07 No.18114988
    (Orson Scott Card's books are slippery. This idiot-savant girl from Space-China is going to help Space Congress slaughter the pig/bug/Catholic alliance world?)
    >> TUCAMP 02/26/12(Sun)23:08 No.18114996
    For how long? If it's for a minute of two we can spin it as... wait why not just have labrate use the forces on the titan station to do it? As they always say "Of labrate can't do it, then his strapping young lad isn't scratching hard enough."
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/26/12(Sun)23:08 No.18115009
    Labbrate can certainly try, but breaking the encryptions will be harder for it. There's a greater chance of detection.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 02/26/12(Sun)23:11 No.18115041

    I remember her going off with Ender's cloned big brother to conquer the galactic congress or some shit. Honestly, Xenocide was such a pain in the ass to read I can barely remember anything about it
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/26/12(Sun)23:15 No.18115102
    (I'm about a third of the way through. I really hope you're off on how this ends. Deus Ex cloning is usually a horrible addition to sci-fi. Opinions vary, of course, but I usually don't like it)
    >> TUCAMP 02/26/12(Sun)23:17 No.18115133
    HEY! I liked the Kingstontron time-travel schtick, I thought it was entertaining.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 02/26/12(Sun)23:18 No.18115146

    Maybe I'm wrong. Like I said, I don't remember it very well. I didn't even bother to read Children of the Mind because it took me two painful months to slog through that Xenocide dreck
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/26/12(Sun)23:31 No.18115350
    That's not the same! That's 100% of Skynet's characterization. There's no possible way to have it lose a war in the future without at least trying to send a robot back in time to turn the tide of the war. That'd be like if I suddenly made the Protoss give up space magic.

    I'll have to wait and see. I got Shadow of the Hegemon really cheap after I finished the first book, so I hope I don't lose interest before I get there. I hate wasting money.

    Back to the quest, though, what's our plan for the array? Cyberbrate can check the military records, but it'll slow down its IFF duty, Labbrate can try instead but it'll have a greater chance of being detected, or we can just let it go. Also, are we using the confusion to launch some infestation missiles at Earth?
    >> TUCAMP 02/26/12(Sun)23:39 No.18115467
    Wait until the battle is winding down and we (or the UED more accurately) can afford a loss in efficiency to hack the array. And have nuke world 2 start building investor missiles, while nuke works is still on hold for more heighliners.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 02/26/12(Sun)23:39 No.18115479

    Wait until the battle winds down and the loss in efficiency isn't as noticible. No hacking, no infestation missiles on earth...yet
    >> TUCAMP 02/26/12(Sun)23:41 No.18115503
    >investor missiles
    I guess missiles filled with ZergTV arrays and relays? Might make those too, but I meant infestor missiles.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/26/12(Sun)23:49 No.18115628
    (In that case...)

    The battle is starting to settle into a stalemate. Our forces are working quite well, but we are still covering for the UED's sluggish response times, which Dyles' ships are clearly taking advantage of. Warbrate believes that as long as it can keep Gorn from doing anything stupid, and Dyles refrains from doing anything brilliant, that the enemy forces will retreat not out of defeat, but in order to get a head start on assaulting another position before we can regroup.

    Kerrigan whispers in our mind that if we intend to use the missiles on Earth, we must do so before Dyles is gone, or else we'll have wasted the distraction.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 02/26/12(Sun)23:55 No.18115712

    Are we still only using zerg units around the UED? If so we can bring in our protoss ships and sucker punch Dyles. Maybe we can even make him pull back if he thinks there's more protoss floating around.
    >> TUCAMP 02/26/12(Sun)23:55 No.18115724
    Ask the UED if we can start nuking dyle's forces. And as for the use of the infestation missiles, I like the idea of using them as a coup de grace, in that we hit every UED world simultaneously with enough missiles to spread the virus to everyone on on it within moments. This should, ideally, be right after we kill dyles.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 02/26/12(Sun)23:59 No.18115764

    Agreed. We still don't want to let the UED know we can infect humans.

    We're still going to test the infection missiles on Dyles, right?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/27/12(Mon)00:01 No.18115788
    We have only been using Zerg forces. We might have to do some explaining if we used the Protoss forces, especially considering their reaction to the Protoss' first efforts in their space. We would DEFINITELY need to explain ourselves if we brought in Terran forces.

    We briefly worry that Director Tyson's eye are going to pop completely out of their sockets.

    "NO! You do NOT, I repeat DO NOT have permission to use nuclear weapons in Sol!"

    So, there's that.

    Toaster tells us it can have the minimum number of missiles prepared in about a week's time. More, if we want to make absolutely sure orbital defenses don't protect a world or two. Less, if we only want to hit systems with major population centers.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/12(Mon)00:02 No.18115803
    Let's give it two weeks, just to be sure.
    >> TUCAMP 02/27/12(Mon)00:06 No.18115850
    I doubt it will work, but we can try it on Dyles.
    Yes my toasty friend, enough to hit every world and cover them completely after loses due to planetary defenses. The goal is the infect the entire UED (excluding the comparatively small number that's off-world) in one step. And I'm not for bringing in protoss assets, but they do know we have some terranish assets from when we saves that one planet way back in the day.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 02/27/12(Mon)00:10 No.18115882

    Nukes are out then. Let's get enough infestation missiles to overwhelm any defenses, say three or four weeks of production.

    I say we use the protoss units. They'll only stick around long enough to wreck Dyles's shit then get the hell out. If we have to explain it I'm sure we can BS our way out of it with our newfound credibility. We are saving their homeworld, after all
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/27/12(Mon)00:10 No.18115889
    Are we planning to try launching them at Dyles' ships in the middle of a battle with the UED, or just save them up for a world later?

    Toaster gets to work.

    So, Protoss/Terran ships, or should we just let Warbrate wear Dyles down?
    >> Anonymous 02/27/12(Mon)00:11 No.18115895
    >> Big Fat Zergling 02/27/12(Mon)00:12 No.18115906

    Save the missiles for later. And I'm still voting to sucker punch with our protoss units and only our protoss units
    >> TUCAMP 02/27/12(Mon)00:14 No.18115926
    I say wear and tear, but easy on the tearing, we don't want Gorn to go nuts yet.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/27/12(Mon)00:15 No.18115933
    Protoss: 1
    Notoss: 1
    >> TUCAMP 02/27/12(Mon)00:17 No.18115964
    Shouldn't it be Contoss?
    >> Big Fat Zergling 02/27/12(Mon)00:17 No.18115975

    Oh shit I just thought of something. We can sucker punch with the protoss, then use the resulting confusion to have Cyberbrate do his thing
    >> TUCAMP 02/27/12(Mon)00:24 No.18116078
    I like it. And if our protoss forces hit some of the UED on either accident or "accident," meh. Although I don't think we need the IFF to track dyles' forces, what with our being a plump space slug. When this is over we need to get another ridge scartcher and maybe eat a heighliner full of ice cream.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/27/12(Mon)00:24 No.18116090
    I thought about it. They're both good plays on the word. Of course, there are some that aren't so good:

    Protoss: 1
    Pronots: 2
    >> Anonymous 02/27/12(Mon)00:24 No.18116096
    This is going to end SO poorly.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/12(Mon)00:25 No.18116101
    No to the toss.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 02/27/12(Mon)00:26 No.18116125

    Which cerebrates still need ridge scratchers? It would be kind of a dick move to have three of our own when some of our underlings don't have any yet
    >> TUCAMP 02/27/12(Mon)00:29 No.18116156
    Pronots? How about Pronaughts? Because everyone loves the -aught suffix.
    >> TUCAMP 02/27/12(Mon)00:30 No.18116170
    Everyone but Labrate, and Kerri technically... maybe... I don't want to know.
    >> TUCAMP 02/27/12(Mon)00:31 No.18116191
    A;sp We don't have 3, there's the ridge scratcher in her MASSIVE PAULDRONS, and a Kingstontron butler who isn't scratching ridges.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/27/12(Mon)00:34 No.18116232
    Let's just...not go there.

    So, it's now:
    Protoss: 2
    Amtoss: 2
    >> Big Fat Zergling 02/27/12(Mon)00:34 No.18116235

    I'm pretty sure we have two ridge scratchers; the senior one with giant pauldrons and the subordinate, junior one with the less giant pauldrons.
    >> TUCAMP 02/27/12(Mon)00:39 No.18116322
    Once you mentioned the smaller pauldrons I remembered the assistant. I'm forgetting loads of obscure trivia tonight.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 02/27/12(Mon)00:40 No.18116340

    Well, it /is/ obscure trivia stuff.

    Why are we talking about it, again?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/27/12(Mon)00:41 No.18116352
    Honestly, I don't remember if we gave ourselves a second ridge scratcher. Our Kingstontron is the second of its kind, of course. We lost the first one in the mission that killed the real Kingston.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/27/12(Mon)00:46 No.18116420
    We were deciding whether to let Dyles leave, or try to crush this attack force with ships that might make the UED nervous.
    >> TUCAMP 02/27/12(Mon)00:48 No.18116458
    I said we need to eat ice cream and get another ridge scratcher, because we've been worry eating. Then you said to not forget about the others since we already have 3, then we agreed it was 2 and a butler. Really the only reason is because voting is deadlocked.
    And now it isn't, Prostop it is. Actually that's not a very good one.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/12(Mon)00:48 No.18116460
    I think we should do the former.
    If we do the latter, we might get the 'toss allying with the UED. That would be super bad.
    >> TUCAMP 02/27/12(Mon)00:50 No.18116490
    I unchange my vote, protoss hoy!
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/27/12(Mon)00:53 No.18116536
    Roll 2d20, you dirty capitulator!
    >> TUCAMP 02/27/12(Mon)00:56 No.18116572
    rolled 17, 1 = 18

    I wasn't expecting anymore vote and wanted things to progress, but it's better now.
    >> TUCAMP 02/27/12(Mon)00:57 No.18116586
    Well, that sure is progress if I do say so myself.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/12(Mon)00:58 No.18116613
    I hope that was for our enemies, and not for us.
    If us, thanks for messing it all up.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 02/27/12(Mon)00:59 No.18116621
    rolled 18, 20 = 38


    >> TUCAMP 02/27/12(Mon)01:01 No.18116649
    If it is for us, well recover. It's not like Zeratul is warping out over Xenta with plans to kill us... let's step up patrols around Xenta just in case he, or anyone else for that matter, does try to sneak in.
    >> TUCAMP 02/27/12(Mon)01:02 No.18116669
    Whoever is the second die is in for a really good or really bad day.
    >> TUCAMP 02/27/12(Mon)01:04 No.18116696
    Actually, the dice have spoke the second value is a CRITICAL MEDIOCRITY!
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/27/12(Mon)01:08 No.18116752
         File: 1330322888.jpg-(51 KB, 589x480, GenieJafar Eugh Reactionface.jpg)
    51 KB
    >1 on Dyles' roll
    >20 on Dyles' roll

    Schrodinger's attack roll?
    >> Anonymous 02/27/12(Mon)01:12 No.18116809
    rolled 18, 14 = 32

    How about a tiebreaker.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 02/27/12(Mon)01:12 No.18116816

    Clearly the only thing we can do is average them out.

    Dyles gets a respectable 10.5
    >> TUCAMP 02/27/12(Mon)01:12 No.18116817
    I think we accept my rolls as the true result, because critical failures are always more entertaining. I assume it means a lucky shot took out the lieutenant leading this assault, but Dyles still lurks among the stars...
    >> Cerebrate Anon 02/27/12(Mon)01:14 No.18116843
    Ok. I can do this. There's a sensible road, here.

    The critical success is that he doesn't critically fail.

    They cancel each other out. I'm going to accept the very first and only the first d20 roll after this post as Dyles' new roll.

    Since you already know it's Dyles you're rolling for, don't noko or I'll assume you're rolling 1d2 like a cheating whore.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/12(Mon)01:16 No.18116857
    rolled 3 = 3

    >> Big Fat Zergling 02/27/12(Mon)01:16 No.18116861
    rolled 2 = 2


    >> TUCAMP 02/27/12(Mon)01:16 No.18116864
    rolled 15 = 15

    >> TUCAMP 02/27/12(Mon)01:17 No.18116878
    3, I can accept that.
    >> TUCAMP 02/27/12(Mon)01:19 No.18116917
    rolled 1 = 1

    But wouldn't you want to roll a 1d1 if you're being a lying cheat?
    >> Anonymous 02/27/12(Mon)01:21 No.18116934
    rolled 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 = 10

    >he doesn't know how to nokodice

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