huzzah

>>18110493
OMG! HL! and I didn't even check the twitter.

Thanks Papa-N, for starting when I'm about to go to bed. No sleep for me.

heretical love! fukken win!

>>18110517
Same for me. I feel your pain. I feel nothing bad because the pain is made up for by Papa-N's awesomeness.

Oh boy, here we go!

Lets get ready for some HUE HUE HUE!

>>18110493
>twitter
Is this some kind of fucking joke.

>>18110532
that sucks im in west coast us so its only 2 in the afternoon

>>18110577
WHAT THE FLYING FUCK IS THIS?

>>18110592
>>lets people know when the next thread will be up.
>>more useful than it sounds

Pic I was going to post for this,
>>18110561
but couldn't find it.
>>18110592
It isn't. Trust me, were all kinda pathetic here.

>Heretical Love time

The Pariah laughs a small laugh, before canting her head and giving you a ponderous once-over.

"...I was pretty serious about that coffee..."

With several struggling, old-man grunts, you finally pick yourself up off of the ground with a last heave. Grumbling, you scratch at your chest, which does nothing through the power armor.

"Damn it..."

"You alright?" Tonya asks, her face one of... True concern?

"Decidedly not, I forgot how bad those things leave you the next morning." You tell her even as you reach around to grab the last of your gear.

"What did we do, anyways?"

"Nothing much. Attacked some shrubbery for a few hours, and I think you hibernated after that."

"Feels more like I went a few rounds with an Ogryn in an old timey no-gloves match."

"Probably from you headbutting the ground and biting at..."

"Don't need a play by play, I'd rather not know, I think."

With a sigh, you sling yourself up onto the bike and peer at your necron girl. It wasn't too long ago now that she was trying to make you into some kind of cold robotic science experiment. Which, for good reason, wasn't exactly your cup of tea.

"So where are we headed, anyways?" She asks, hefting herself up onto the bike behind you.

"Beats me, I was headed for the nearest coffee place."

"...Its four hours past nightfall."

"And?"

"Nothing, I guess? Its just that, I prefer..."

You crane your neck to look back, mouth agape in horror.

"Tea?" She finishes quietly.

Damn robots and their soulless excursions into destroying humankind, they could at least let you have your bean juice without having to explain yourself.

[ ] Fuck the police, obtain coffee

[ ] Head to a hotel, sleep off bear leaf hangover

[ ] Tea and crumpets instead

>>18110620
That's Kazuv. Go ahead, Google it.

[ ] Fuck the police, obtain coffee

[X] Tea and crumpets instead

>>18110663
Lets get British. Tea and Crumpets motherfuckers!

[x ] Tea and crumpets instead

>>18110663
TEA AND CRUMPETS

LIKE A REAL MAN

[x] Tea and crumpets instead

Let's have some tea-based hijinks.

>>18110663
COFFEEEEEEEEEEE

Not even bitches are as important. And she could order a thee or something if she really wants.

[X] Tea and crumpets instead
I daresay, indeed!

Coffee, or is the only answer.

[x] Tea and crumpets instead
might as well

Tea please.

Tea and crumpets!

>>18110663
>Tea and crumpets instead

I muthafucking looooooooooove tea and crumpets!

"So let me get this straight, instead of wanting the excrement of ground up beans and hot water, you want... Leaves, steeped in water?"

"I prefer tea, but I'm fine with either, I suppose."

You can only just turn back around, shaking your head. You knew by this point, that the Necrons were pretty wacked out.

"Damn straight!" Chris shouts.

"No trobburrr!!!"

The Salamander hangs his head and leaves.

...But you didn't know that the Necrons could be soulless enough to choose tea over coffee. Monsters, pure monsters the lot of them.

"Wait." You sit up in the firm leather seat of the bike.

"What kind of tea?" You ask, turning back to Tonya.

"Well the best kind, of coarse." She grins, forcing you to smile back, your lips moving on their own.

"Earl grey." You finish for her.

"I was going to say Chai, but that works too."

"Damn straight it does." You grumble as you fire up the bike. If you are going to have tea, you are at least going to have the greatest tea in the Imperium of man.

As you rev up the engine, your mind gives you a none-too-subtle "FUCK YOU BUDDY!" at the loud and obnoxious noise.

[X ] Tea and crumpets instead

>>18110786
You could have at least chosen Assam...

>>18110786
Earl Grey...And Chai isn't even a real tea. Should've gone for the Oolong.

Mika's custom bike, is if nothing else... Well, it pretty much is everything you could ask for in a bike. Massive engine capable of plaid, check. Plenty of dakka, check. Servo skull navigation system... Well maybe you can get one of those eventually.

For now, you just rely on your trademarked sense of direction to see you through.

"Max, I don't mean to be rude but..." Tonya scans around, looking at the decrepit trees that seem to hang limp and dead in the silent forest. "I don't think this is the right way."

She's probably right, but above all else you are a man. If there is one thing you know about being a man, its this. You never ask for directions, because you always know exactly where it is you are going.

...Though it takes you about an extra hour to get to the small town thanks to your "shortcut".

After a slow, rolling stop, you kill the engine and lean the bike on its kickstand.

"Pip's House of Cheer.", which you can surmise is a tea house because of the billboard telling you so. Sometimes you are impressed at your own genius.

It also helps that its the last building still standing, the rest all appear to have been leveled. Probably by some of the blown out tanks scattered around.

Too tired to scan for traps, you enter.

>>18110832
>I don't know anything about coffee or tea, I don't really drink either

Which means, as you should have expected on Yagis V, that there is a trap waiting for you.

The rope net springs upwards, snatching you and Tonya and pulling you close to the ceiling.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" You ask, struggling against the thick coiled ropes.

Suddenly, from below, you spot movement.

"Max, what are those?" Tonya asks, pointing.

Below you, armed with bolt guns and sticks, are six servitors.

Chav servitors.

[ ] Let fly all guns

[ ] Try to talk your way out

[ ] Call in Tonya's immortals

>>18110934
Fire at will, all guns let loose

>>18110934
>[X] immortals.

While reading that I was dreading you'd set us up with Ewoks, Papa-N...

[ ] Let fly all guns

[x] Call in Tonya's immortals
fuck yeah new skill

[x] Try to talk your way out

Activating smoothmode.

FUCKING CHAVS RGHAAAAAAA
talk politely like the gents we are

[X] Try to talk your way out

>>18110934
>[X] Call in Tonya's immortals.

Let's see what our new waifu can do.

>>18110934
LET FLY!

wait, chavs? well chav hunting is a national sport here in th UK....

[ ] Try to talk your way out
We are here to drink tea and fuck synthetic bitches, lets negotiate, like gentlemen

[x] Try to talk your way out

We don wan no trabu

Servitors, not so bad...
>Chav Servitors
Exterminate with extreme prejudice.

[x] Call in Tonya's immortals

>>18111031
Oh, hey rubbish, any plans on when next nod quest is gonna be?

Talking your way outtta this

Gentleman styleeeeee

"WE CAN TALK THIS OUT LIKE GENTLEMAN!" You shout, even as you activate your plasma cannon and send a burst into two of the servitors standing close together.

"We can wot mate?"

"INTELLIGENT DISCUSSION!" Your lasfinger catches another through the skull, dropping it like a bag of potatoes. Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew.

A dozen Immortals warp in and all at once the small cafe is ablaze with gauss fire.

The Chavbots are yelling out unintelligible things, none of which you can hear over the roaring crackle of your flamer, the whine of your lasfinger, or the drone of your plasma cannon.

"...Didn't you whisper to me that we were going to try to talk our way out of this?" Tonya asks as the smoke clears, the Chavitors all in smouldering pieces.

"You can't talk to them, they are immune to logic, and jedi mind tricks."

"Jedi... What?"

You stare Tonya in the eyes, and quite surprised, she stares right back. With a small, mystical wave of your hand, you speak.

"You will not turn me into a Necron."

"...Didn't I already say I wouldn't?"

As you cut yourself down, helping Tonya to the floor, you can't help but smirk.

Jedi mind tricks, gets em every time.

The last thread! i'm not late! too bad this is my first one...

>>18111075
Sometime this following week, hopefully around Tuesday or Wednesday, just a matter of seeing whats the matter with my laptop since its sorta on the fritz lately, and of course school has been kinda occupying my time as well

The Immortals having quietly gathered up the bodies and dragged them into a closet, you and Tonya are left alone to your drinks.

"How is it? Its been a while since I've tried making any." The Necron girl says, scratching her cheek shyly.

"Not bad...?" You tell her, trying to pick the scarab out of your mug without her noticing.

With a sigh, you lean back in the chair and take another drink. Or try to.

"Where the fuck do you all keep coming frommmm??!?!" You hiss quietly at yet another scarab pulled from the mug.

"Now that we're alone, there's something important we need to discuss." Tonya says, turning solemnly back to you.

"The Necron alliance with us, right right..." You shrug.

"That can wait." Tonya tells you, stirring her tea.

"Still have no plans of becoming a Necron."

Tonya sets down her tea suddenly, locking eyes with you.

You sigh, and sink a little lower in the seat.

"Yeah I know, I could stand to be a bit more serious, but just... Not tonight."

You awake, quite groggily, in Tonya's arms. You must have dozed off, because she's carrying you princess style through a wide wooden hallway.

With a pomf, she drops you onto a bed, having already stripped you of your power armor.

"Wah, what are we going to do..."

"You know damn well what we're going to do." She interrupts.

I NEED AN ADULT!

Play Chess?

>>18111082
hm... chavs always are gutter trash, and have no dignity so.... killing them works

>>18111199


Huh, dominate woman. Kind figure for a chick that maybe/is older than the human race.

Paint miniatures?

>>18111199
ITBEGINS.jpeg

>>18111199
... we play nude Uno?

>>18111222
YES! We must now proceed to play chess with her like a proper gentleman!

>Pic due to lacking proper GENTLEMAN pics.

>>18111199
We're going to play Naked Twister?

>>18111216
Rape whistle engaged?

[x] Discuss Dialectical Materialism

>>18111274
You'll need more then a whistle to stop the HUEtrain...

Only Warhammer related Pomf picture I have; It'll have to do.

>>18111199
>>18111275

Dammit, forgot to tag >>18111199

With a flick, she shuts off the lights.

A firm pillow under your head, cool sheets pulled up around you...

Certainly not what you had expected.

Especially now that there is a naked Pariah next to you, staring right at the ceiling.

"Huh, that isn't what I thought you were implying."

"Hmm? What did you expect?"

A cool, metallic hand clasps around your very confused but very intrigued inquisitor.

"Oh."

"Yep."

"Well, I suppose if it will help you sleep." The Necron says, bemused as she swings herself over to straddle you.

"You sure about this one, bud?" Your inquisitor asks.

"Not in the least." You have no reassuring words for him.

"Emprah preserve us all." He says, staring up into the waiting Necron tomb.

The sensation is... Different, that much is true. Not warm like the others, but not cold either. Snug and somehow calculating, it isn't a bad feeling.

Well.

Until you hit the gears, at least.

>>18111246
Isn't tonya technically always nude? Or was she actually wearing clothing?

Also, pic for good measure, and warning for Max.

>>18111303

>>18111317
too late their mate, we hit the gears and now our poor inquisitor will turn to mince meat by the end of this....

>>18111303
>Until you hit the gears, at least.

It is a good pain.

how does a necron get naked? and ow

>>18111332
Nooo!

I liked our inquisitor!

"RAAAWWWWWGGGGGGG!!!!" You howl in pain as your inquisitor meets a whirring set of cogs.

The gears keep spinning, however, and there is nothing you can do, no amount of struggling capable of freeing you now.

Your agony echoes through the room as the gears continue to pull, ripping at your flesh.

With a terrible realization, you see that they aren't about to stop.

"No Tonya, no!"

With a terrible, metallic grin, Tonya only says one thing.

"Hue hue hue."

The horrible process continues, more and more of your flesh being sucked up... A sickening sense of realization.

Its eating you.

All of you.

It takes twenty minutes for her to consume you whole, though only fifteen for you to finally die.

Her belly extended now, Tonya gives it a satisfied pat before letting out a small burp. She covers her mouth, embarrassed.

"Thanks for the meal." She grins.

>>18111303

And to think, this is what they looked like before.

>>18111370
I'm still expecting extreme amounts of HUE to follow in the rest of the thread...

welp im at a loss for words

We fuck untill our Inquisitor cant take it anymore. We very well may die in this last chapter.

Got to make this one count

>>18111370
.... well, time to go to my happy place now

rolled 44 = 44

>>18111370
This is not my fetish.

>>18111370

>>18111370
What is this, I don't even

>>18111370

Hebrewish captcha? You gotta be kidding me...

>>18111372
Do not want.
I'd rather sexy up humanoid!Ra'alman

rolled 1 = 1

implied 1

>>18111442
noko'd 1

>>18111474
yup it was but it didnt feel right to have hue without it

>>18111485
You never need a reason for hue, never... Hue is dispenced whenever the Great Conductor of the HUETRAIN decides it is time. There is no stopping the mighty train, there is nothing to do but lie back and wait.

rolled 1 = 1

>>18111474

"Whoa! What are those?!" You jerk your hips back quite suddenly.

"My mistake, I'll slow them down."

Slowly, she sinks back down and you meet the gears yet again.

Wet, soft gears?

"Oh wow that feels... good?!" You twitch and convulse at the sensation.

"Ah~! It does!" She gasps, grinding herself down and forcing you deeper, which causes you to grab at the sheets.

"Wait if you d...!!!!" Unable to stop yourself, you flood the tomb with your plasma.

"..."

"..."

"Already?" She asks, looking a bit amused.

Not about to let a Necron of all races give you any shit about finishing early, you flip her over onto her stomach.

Slamming your inquisitor home yet again, you start to give it your all to make up for your previous error. Tonya, no longer poking fun at you, is clutching the pillow as she gasps.

You aren't quite sure how a Necron orga...

Tonya suddenly convulses, her entire body shaking as she lets out a loud moan which turns into garbled machine code. Her eyes glow a brilliant green for a few brief moments, illuminating the entire room in a faint glow.

After that display, she sinks down into the bed, and you collapse on top of her.

"Wow." You can't help grinning as you lay down once again in the rather nice bed.

"Wow what? You're not even close to done for the night." Tonya says, a mischievous tone in her voice.

rolled 5 = 5

>>18111515
rollin WBB?

>>18111497
yes ill give you that an hl without hue is like a day where the sun exploded

>>18111515

>"Wow what? You're not even close to done for the night."

>>18111515

we go until the glow of the Emprah lights up the morning.

I mean Literally.
if sun rises and no Emprah, the Inquisition must continue interrogations.

>>18111498

"What do you mean?"

But all too late, you realize.

"You should have known I wasn't about to give up." She smiles, her Immortals already holding you down.

"Uhh... Wat?"

Tonya sighs in complaint as two more Necrons drag a glowing green trunk into the room.

"Its a portable unit, but it will just have to make due."

There is no escape now...

Max is turned into a Necron, he spends the rest of his life yearning to live again, despite his Pariah waifu.

>>18111515

I WARNED YOU BRO, I WARNED YOU ABOUT THE GEARS MAN

rolled 8 = 8

>>18111552

>>18111552
>>18111370

This is some Heretical amounts of Hue.

>>18111552
I was expecting an internal unit.
>hue

>>18111552

Pic related, mfw

holy shit, I just though of something. Since we have a robot arm, that means we can totally pull off some Yoshimitsu shit and fly around using a sword as a helicopter, I'm face palming hard now for not thinking this before

>>18111552
There can only be more and more hue hue hue from now on..

You sit up in the bed, too tired to even sleep at this point.

For what its worth, Tonya hasn't slept either, though you aren't sure if she even needs to.

"Oh, morning already?" She chimes happily, drawing aside the curtains to take in the sunrise.

"So now I can get some sleep?" You almost plead.

"Sleep? No no, we've got to get going! Did you forget everything the Emperor told you before he left?"

"...Yes?"

Tonya sighs, her hands on her hips as she looks down at you.

"Today is the big tactical meeting. We're all supposed to gather together to work out how to defeat Malal and his forces."

"All of us...?"

"Yes, all of us. The Eldar, the Tau, the Orks, everyone."

Pulling the covers over yourself, you turn around and close your eyes.

"Cool, let me know how it turns out."

"You can't skip, not today."

"Why?" You groan.

"Because this whole thing could fall apart without you. You are what is holding this shaky foundation together, at least for now."

"Five more minutes?"

"..."

Tonya drags you out of bed, and helps you into your armor yet again. At least some tea perks you up, noticeably absent any scarabs this... Well, nearly scarab-free.

The Pariah hustles you onto the bike, in quite a rush it seems.

"Step on it, or we will be late!"

1d20 for no sleep motorcycle skills

>>18111552
May the HUE be with you... Always.

>>18111637
why use a motorcycle when we can fly? like so >>18111633

>>18111637
Rollan' for the Emprah!

rolled 12 = 12

>>18111637
Here comes another batch of HUEHUEHUE

rolled 5 = 5

>>18111637

here we go

>she sees your Inquisitor

rolled 10 = 10

>>18111663
God damn it.

>>18111663
Not much rollin' going on there...

rolled 7 = 7

>>18111637

By the power of Terra, I HAVE THE DRIVER SKILLS!

rolled 6 = 6

>>18111637

rolled 7 = 7

kk

rolled 19 = 19

Bring it.

rolled 2 = 2

>>18111637
Motorcycle SKILLZ

rolled 1 = 1

heres hoping max doesnt eat trees.

rolled 5 = 5

>>18111683
I know, so thats why I'm rollan this time for that time. Hoping for a 20!

mailto:dice+1d20

For Chaos!

rolled 1 = 1

>>18111498
>>18111552


>That feel when dice+1d00

>>18111705

fuck you

>>18111705
God damn it.

rolled 20 = 20

>>18111705
ohboyherewego.jpg

Rolling to save us from wood-related death.

rolled 3 = 3

>>18111705
You son of a bitch, we're going to be picking splinters out of our teeth for a month.

>>18111705

Would you like salt with your trees?

>>18111670
Is that... mika? ohgodimgonnahhnnnnnnng

>>18111705
>>18111718

We're doomed.

And even on a d100, he manages to get a 1.

rolled 17 = 17

>>18111730
THANK GOD!

>>18111730

Well, that's half the 1s taken care of...

>>18111765
the second one is a 1d00

rolled 3 = 3

rollan

>>18111718
That's dice+1d00, not 1d100, doesn't count.

>>18111765

DUDE

1d00 IS NOT A 1d100

you just got trolled bro

rolled 2 = 2

>>18111687
>>18111704
>>18111705
>>18111718
>>18111737
we are so fucked, oh yes we are so fuuuuuucked

we are so fucked

>>18111788
>>18111737
>>18111718
>>18111709
>>18111705
>>18111704
>>18111668

Error 404 - Bike skills not found

"Max watch it!" Tonya shouts as you nearly collide with a tree.

"Hnerk?" You look up just in time.

To see the tree you do hit.

Despite rolling end over end across the ground, and skidding to a painful halt, you pass out upon stopping. Simply too tired to stay awake at this point.

An explosion, perhaps your motorcycle exploding, you don't have your eyes open to see.

Until, that is, the trees start attacking you.

"Ow, what the fuck is going on!" You shout, scrambling to your feet as another heavy branch pummels you on the back.

"The trees! Get away from the trees!" Tonya shouts, running for the road.

"Owwww! Bitch!" You smack at another set of branches with your axe as they rake you. Again and again they rake you.

Just as you are about to dive for the road, a root leaps up to give you a nice punt.

"Fuck you and every oak that looks like you!" You cry, before landing hard on the pavement. Well at least your face broke most of the fall for you.

"Are you alright!?" Tonya shouts, rushing over to you.

You spit out a mouthful of twigs, angrily wiping at your tongue to get bits of bark off of it.

"Lets just get to this damn meeting." You grumble, looking at the smoldering wreckage of your bike as more trees continue to beat on the flaming remains.

>>18111805
shit beat me to it

>>18111762
Yeah, I'm not much of a drawfag so that is pretty much the best I could manage. Still trying to get drawing on this tablet down, quite different than drawing on paper.

>>18111786
>>18111790
How did I miss that...

>>18111829
Right now, I am glad I have this picture for some reason.

NOOOOOO

>>18111705
>rolled two 1
Brace for the HUEHUEHUEHUE!

just asking
did we ever figure out why Tzeentch hates max?

>>18111841
Whelp it still looks great either way, defiantly saved, and on a side note
>>18111829
Burn those fucking trees and lets helicopter our way to the meeting

>>18111920

>It is I, Maximitsu!

All of these rolls that less than 10

By the time you arrive, you are incredibly late. Beyond the point of even a cool late arrival. More like being the dick who forgot shit was even going on.

It doesn't help that you're sound asleep by the time you arrive, nor that you adamantly refuse to wake up once there.

"Well this is a problem..." Ailia comments, as the girls crowd around to look you over.

"Tch! Up, you!"

A psyonic jolt rips through your body, and you leap to your feet almost instantly, your eyes peeled as wide as they can be.

You lower your eyes at Esh, who glares back.

"You're late." She states.

Lost for words, you do the only thing you can think of.

"Yowtch!!!" She cries as your hand smacks into her rump with a satisfying sound.

"Serves you right, some cold water would have worked."

"I told you we should have gone with my plan." Senna grumbles.

"Your plan was to dose him up with combat drugs." Kaleshi states as Lycheria raises a concerned eyebrow.

"I-I'm just glad he's here..." Mika adds quietly.

"Well you all seem to be getting along pretty well." You speak up as you take a seat and reach for a bowl of assorted snacks.

"It's because we've all had to put up with you, common enemy and all that." Esh smirks.

"Hows that backside?"

Her smile quickly fades.

"You'll get yours for that."

"Hey dudes, I mean its great and all that we're all together and whatnot. But can we get on to this stuff now? Its kind of important man."

You finally notice the Emperor standing next to Creed and the four chaos gods, all of whom are watching your antics.

[ ] Yeah, lets do this!

[ ] I need a nap first.

[ ] Why am I even a part of the planning phase???

>>18111936
Haaaa!

>>18112051
I clearly need a nap.

YEAH LETS DO THIS!

>I mean...are there even any other plausible routes of action here?

[X] Why am I even a part of the planning phase???
This. We have proven time and time again that planning is not something Max is good at.

>>18112051
Why am I even a part of this planning phase

[ ✓] Yeah, lets do this!
>all the girls together getting along
just as planned

>>18112051
She liked it and she knows it.

[x]Lets do this.

[ ✓] Yeah, lets do this!

Mission Planning Music:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKDzOnRydWk

>>18112051

Let's do this! Doomrider will know something to keep us awake long enough.

"Yeah, lets make it happen, the faster this gets done the better. But I want to know exactly what I'm doing here, I mean, plans aren't exactly my strong suit." You shrug.

"Precisely why you have to be here." Tzeentch says, despite looking quite unhappy to see you.

"What?"

"Its simple, really. You are the anti-plan."

"The what?"

"The anti-plan. As in you can take a perfectly good plan and completely fuck it up, like you always do, always messing with my pl...!"

The Emperor grabs Tzeentch and does his best to calm the fuming raven goddess down. She struggles, clearly quite angry.

"That's why she doesn't like you, you're always messing up her plans." Kaleshi whispers to you, before biting your ear.

"Ow. I see, so that's been her beef with me this whole time, that I screw up plans?"

"Screw up? More like implode." Niut adds.

A faint hiss and a sharp pain in your neck.

"What the fuck is with everyone... Oh hey Doomrider."

"JUST SOMETHING TO KEEP YOU AWAKE!" He gives you a thumbs-up.

"What was it?"

"DIRECT DAEMON-COCAINE INJECTION."

"Seems safe."

"IT ISN'T."

>>18112230
FUCK YEAH

rolled 1 = 1

>>18112230
Excellent.

>>18112230
Bueno

>>18112264
Stop fucking trolling.

>>18112264
Whoops left my zero sided die on.

>>18112230
that explains everything and y'know what time it is....

rolled 13 = 13

>>18112230
TO VICTORY

>>18112264
>d00....

And...FUCK YEA DOOMRIDER! The most Bro that has ever been a bro!

>>18112230
Oh Doomrider, you're such a bro.

>>18112230
This is likely all Max can see right now.

>>18112230

...and now the Emperor looks like a gigantic chicken.

While the girls and various commanders and generals get together hatching some kind of battle plan, you add in insightful tips to help them out.

Like how fast your heart is beating, and how awesome of a drummer Neil Peart is.

"Also I don't much care for your purple balloon face." You shake your head disappointingly at Creed.

"I think you gave him a bit too much." The General eyes Doomrider wearily.

"I DIDN'T MEASURE IT." The Daemon admits with a grin.

"Here, maybe this will help." Senna hits you with her own injection before the wall of protests can stop her.

"You've been waiting to do that this whole time, haven't you..." Senda glares.

"Maybe."

You don't know why the colors are all talking, or why your heart is now a baneblade, or why this room is actually ancient aliens.

All you know, is one simple thing.

"I have a massive erection." You state, loud enough for the entire gathering to hear.

Oh gods...

Massively tripping...massive erection...and ALL of the waifus?

Shit's going down.

>>18112351
>mfw

>>18112351

>>18112351

>>18112351
Nothing bad can possibly go wrong.

>>18112351
>dis gon b gud.rar

so cocaine
>fucking go time why r u so slow omg i love this song lets fight
combat stimulant/ spehss viagra
>....

Holy shit tripping balls! Also, I was right about Doomrider keeping us awake!

>>18112351
Everything you post below this I can't trust to be not hue or hue.

Meaning I don't even know anymore.

>>18112351
>Pic semi-unrelated. I should one day cut out that face alone...

>>18112351

>>18112448
>implying we ever knew

>>18112450
woops, had other pic first, then forgot to change text when I found better pic. I am so derp

and of course, cue tripping balls music
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxKCPjcvbys
or this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNG_Kn-m73M

"...Classy." Esh facepalms.

"Oh, I think I gave him the wrong one..." Senna admits, flipping through her key ring of syringes.

"Maybe we should get him out of here? I don't think he's going to be much use like this..." Lycheria says, poking you in the forehead, which draws no reaction.

"The colors, duke, the colors..." Your tongue lolls off to the side of your mouth.

"He p-probably just needs some sleep.." Mika says, tenderly closing your eyes.

While the real planners get back to their task at hand, the girls carry your rather limp form to a different tent and lay you down on a pile of sleeping bags and pads.

"Should we just... Leave him here, then?" Karen scratches her head, quizzically giving you another look.

"Lets at least get him out of this armor, or he'll wake up with a sore neck." Lycheria laughs as she gets to it.

It doesn't take the group long to get you out of your armor, in fact it hardly takes any time at all. They seem to work well together in a group.

The girls pause at the doorway, turning back to look at you.

"Get some sleep." Senda says quietly.

You sit up in bed quite suddenly, your eyes alight with crackling warp energy.

"No one sleeps tonight."

"Max what are you..."

"Activate tentacle dicks." You say, staring blankly forwards.

"Haha, oh Max get some... Good gods he isn't kidding, look out!!!"

>>18112500
> "Activate tentacle dicks."

WAT.

I have...no idea at all to what is happening...

Is it HUEHUEHUEHUEHUE or not? I have...no clue at all...

>>18112500
Tentacle dicks. I knew we'd get here eventually.

>"Activate tentacle dicks."
yesssss

>>18112500
Is the Tentacle Dicks fucking all of our Waifu's simultaneous gonna be the cannon harem end?


It better be.

>>18112500
What do i keep telling you all? the HUETRAIN has no brakes!!!!

Oh jesus, the lack of substantial HUE HUE HUE in the last few threads was for this. It was all being saved for this.

>>18112500

>>18112500
This can only end in HUE!

>>18112526
That's the whole point. Are you REALLY being trolled or not.

>>18112500
Hoping for hue hue or hallucination. If not, it would be screwed on so many levels.

>>18112586

Which is why I LOVE IT!

With a satisfied groaning stretch, you emerge from the tent at long last. Its a new day entirely, a fresh morning dew adorning the ground.

"A great day for a final battle." You admit, cherishing the sunrise.

A groggy torrent of curses and complaints follows as you fling open the rest of the windows with a flourish of your mind powers.

The girls all look incredibly tired, exhausted even.

"Haha, what got into you all last night? Stay up doing boring plans and whatnot? I slept great!" You snatch a cup of coffee from a passing servitor and take a long sip out of the Blood Ravens mug.

"What got into us? What GOT INTO US?!?!?" Esh fumes.

"Quit complaining bitch, you know you liked it." Kaleshi smirks from behind her Sudoku book, adjusting her glasses.

None of this registers with you, too enthralled with the happenings of the camp around you. The whole army is mobilizing, and by army, you mean everybody.

Orkz are helping Guardsmen load up shells, Eldar and Tau are discussing something... This is a scene that a few weeks ago, would have been an utter impossibility.

"Well hat-chan, its been a fun ride hasn't it buddy?"

"Max, we need to talk."

"Talk? Why?"

"Dude, I'm pretty sure that was some crazy Slaaneshi shit last night, I'm kind of concerned for you, as a friend."

"Ah, don't fret little buddy, it will all work out."

"Max, who are you talking to?" A familiar voice asks from beside you.

"Huh? Oh, sup Eight, didn't see you there. My hat."

"Your... Hat?"

"My hat."

"...Right. Well you should get your group moving, we're heading for point Alpha in half an hour."

>>18112201

>2:50 onward

>FUCKING FLAMENCO OPERA

This is the greatest shit I've ever heard.

>>18112612
Welp, I suppose the favour of slaanesh is not that bad...

>>18112612

Hat-kun...how I love thee...

I remember fondly how you were introduced right before almost getting eaten by a genestealer....Max and Hat-kun have both gone long way since then.

>>18112623
I've never played the games and I think all of the music is just amazing.

>>18112612
> what got into you

HA.

>>18112612
an orgy we don't remember
the horror. the horror.

>>18112626
Yeah, I had expected worse... Especially how he/she/it keeps having orgy contests with Doomrider, one would think that what happened last night would have been nothing to him.

>>18112612
>no, max. you are the hue

>>18112649

You mean the orgy that wasn't described? Oh, Papa, why withhold the HUE?

>>18112612
I'm just sad that we won't get a play-by-play of that amazing orgy. It's not every day we get blessed with tentacle Dicks.

>>18112612
That, is my fetish. In the name of Slaanesh, i request more tentacles.

>>18112662
If you so like it, you could ask Slaanesh for it to be permanent for the harem ending.

>>18112662
Papa-N will probably save that for overtime.

"Point Alpha... Point Alpha... Why does that sound familiar?" You rub your chin in thought.

"Ah well, it probably isn't important anyways. Hey girls! Get up, its time to go fight!"

"How can you be so awake? You didn't even sleep at all last night!" Ailia laments as she pulls on her pilot suit.

"What? I slept great." You shake your head with a chucke. Tau aren't great at jokes.

"Whatever, lets just get this over with." Esh grunts, hefting her spear and walking out past you.

"I am so ready for this!" Kaleshi booms, sprinting out after her, already adorned in her armor and chainaxe in hand.

The rest of the girls file out, most looking quite tired.

"I-Its not that I mind, but that was k-kinda w-weird..." Mika says as she stops in front of you, before looking you in the eyes, giving a small squeal, and running off to go find Rex and her Stormblade.

"Well dude, it's been one hell of a wave." The Emperor walks up next to you and claps you on the shoulder.

"No matter how this goes down man, you've made me proud."

"Thanks Emps."

He gives you a thumbs-up before walking toward a group of very tough looking armor clad bad asses who present him his flaming sword.

Well, now you are all set for this final battle. Knowing that, you hop onto the nearest tank and stand upon it, folding your arms defiantly.

"Right then you lot, lets get it on."

"That's cool and all, bro, but we aren't your ride." Helena sighs.

>>18112659
>>18112662
Flashbacks. Just saying. Don't count your lack of chickens while still holding the eggs.

>>18112717

But I can't do overtime! It's already 1:36 and I'm trading the bulk of my sleep for some HLQ before work.

>MFW no description of the Harem orgy

>>18112719
Must get riding onto huge tank.

Also, we can bet on the partridges trying to steal our thunder at the end of this battle.

>>18112722
max doesn't remember the orgy. worse than if it didn't happen. imagine waking up to a 10/10 would bang leaving your room saying, 'thanks for last night'. first thing you'd say is 'waitwhatcomeback!'

i've got 3 days i've lost due to injury-related amnesia. been years, don't think i'm getting them back. oh well. max (hopefully) can re-create the memory. sans pentacle rex.

>>18112719

>"I am so ready for this!" Kaleshi booms, sprinting out after her, already adorned in her armor and chainaxe in hand.

All of my HNNNNNNNNNNNNG.

I love aggressive women.

>>18112738

Bah, it's 2:40 here, I got the liquor and I'll do my best to stay awake until the first light of the morning tenderly touches my face.

>>18112756
full marks, would rage again

its hue by not showing hue

>>18112756
We have a techpriest girlfriend with a Stormblade. They try that shit, they get 'vaped.

"I can ride with whoever I damn well please." You frown.

"Yeah, but we are the ambush group, not the point Alpha crew."

"...And?"

"And you specifically said you were heading to point Alpha, not get off of my tank!"

Helena wings a wrench at you, which bounces harmlessly off of your pauldron.

"Pfft, whatever, this tank isn't cool enough for me anyways." You stick out your tongue and hop down.

"Cool story bro."

Both of you make faces at each other for a minute.

"...But make sure you come back alive." Helena adds as you turn to go.

"I always do, don't I?" You grin.

"Don't soil your record now then." She frowns, before closing her eyes, sighing, and then smiling at you, "I'll come kick your ass back alive if I have to."

"I won't need it, this shit is in the bag." With one last wave, you head off toward the...

[ ] Tau

[ ] Eldar

[ ] Dark Eldar

[ ] Daemons

[ ] Orks

[ ] Admech

[ ] Necrons

[ ] Sisters of Battle

>>18112763

I'm tempted. I have some kind of unknown alcohol my flatmate's BF left here. I don't know what it is, neither does he. An unlabeled jar containing something sweet... like a red-grape mead or something. It's quite tasty, and very, very strong.

I have the rest of that bottle and HLQ. FUCK IT, WHO NEEDS SLEEP ANYWAY

>>18112783

>>18112797
tau

tsunseer

>>18112797

>[x] Daemons

KALESHI IS OUR WAIFU

>>18112797
Admech

Oh god that image.
Why am I laughing so hard.

eldar

>>18112797
and yes this is "The Vote" So incoming samefag storm

>>18112783
Yep

Eldar.

>>18112802

That is superb.

>>18112797

[x] Eldar

Illum Zar, here I come!

[x] Eldar

rolled 15 = 15

[ ] eldar

Eldar
She Cooks!

>>18112797
>[X] Daemons
Kaleshi for waifu

demons

rolled 13 = 13

>>18112797
Dark Eldar.

>>18112797
Admech. Mika for Preside... I mean, inquisitorial inspection!

Tau!

SO we can get close to the "Greater Goods" that Alilia so generously have given us before.

And good tech allows us to monitor the battlefield much easier.

[x] Daemons

Three for the price of one!

You can't beat that deal!

9am tomorrow? Fuck that. Britfags don't need sleep...

>>18112797
Admech.

[ ] Admech
I propose that they have encored an ancient relic from the past, which is a titan that was supposed to be used to liberate a certain planet by the Traitor Legions during the Horus Heresy, but due to random exterminatus of said planet, it never saw the bright of day until now... Due to its programming, it still believes it is the Horus Heresy and shouts blatant pro Imperium propaganda

[x] Elfdar

>>18112797
>[x] Daemons

[checkmark] Admech

What? so much love for mika in the threads, but when it comes to it everyone abandons her?

Dark Eldar!

[X] Daemons, betch!

>>18112880
*uncovered

Eldar

(I like how all the namefags went for admech)

Eldar or Deamons

[✓] Admech
ride into battle on eleven barrels of hell

>>18112801

That's the spirit! Victory or death!
... but please, let the story part be over at, like, 5 am GMT.

No Ra'alman?

Eldar

Looks like it'll be a threeway between admech, eldar, and daemons.

Mmmmm, threeway.

So much samefag happening here.
Still, [Admech]!

Daemons have my vote. Doomrider man, doomrider.
Think about it.

AdMech

>>18110493
nver mind i change to demons

>>18112915
I reckon she'll show up eventually.
[lolspoilers]she's Papa's waifu after all[/lolspoilers]

>>18112907
Switches and cords, my friend, switches and cords.

rolled 4 = 4

Dark Eldar!

>>18112913
VICTORY OR VALHALLA.

BOOZE FOR THE BOOZE GOD

>>18112915
The harem orgy probably took place in her stomach, or something. We don't know yet.

Papa, the orgy was a long time coming. Difficult as it may be, I'm expecting Suzy Q's Party Game level of erotic. No pressure.

Tau, Jubllies man, she's got great jubblies.

>>18112915

True...what happend to HORA HORA?

>>18112797

[ x ] Daemons

rolled 9 = 9

Daemons it is.

Already voted, just showing my love for mika.

>>18112936

>>18112912
fucked up quote im thes and i change to demons

rolled 14 = 14

Eldar of a non-light hue!

>>18112918
I've personally voted no less than a half dozen times.

And for all sorts of different candidates.

Tau

>all this samefagging

Glorious

Now I think its an Eldar/Admech/Daemon tie

Should I roll a 1d3 to break the tie?

>>18112953
Tzeentch has blessed us this day!

rolled 5 = 5

Non-light eldar!

>>18112966
Yes, but please put admech on spot 1 and then roll 1d1.

But yeah, tie breaker is needed I guess...

daemons

>>18112797
Daemons

Esh, she cooks, she teaches us psyker powers, she's going to be awefully lonely on the craftworld after having fallen in love with a mon-keigh.

>>18112966
Yes. In alphabetical order
1. Admech,
2. Daemons
3. Eldar

>>18112966

DO IT.

rolled 2 = 2

1 = Admech
2 = Daemons
3 = Eldar

looks like daemons are winning

rolled 16 = 16

Dark Eldar!

>>18112964

Nice. This is only my third.

Orkz

>>18112966
By the Slaaneshi dubs, daemons.

>>18113003
VICTORY!

rolled 9 = 9

Dark Eldar for the d20 god!

>>18112966
Do it. But tau results should clearly be ignored.

Daemon, it must be.

>>18112907
hey servitor chicks need love too, i mean how can you say no to this? >>18111670
or even this >>18112880
Who doesn't want a giant ass humanoid titan with super las cannon eyes and can chuck Deathstrike missiles like footballs?

>>18113003

Everything went better than expected.

>>18112966

I know this is a bold request, but could you... write endings for all three of them? Pwetty pwease? I'd hate to not see an ending with Esh.

SUCCESS
>>18113003
tzeentch was with us on that one

>>18113003
Yes!
>>18113032
Have to agree with this guy though.
Pity the DE twins will not feature however...

yay for demons, but i still expect at least shortish what ifs for the other top 3 endings

>>18113003

>>18113003

THE DICE HAVE SPOKEN

>>18113003
NOOOO!

Why does HL quest fail to deliver its nat 1's on this crucial moment?

...

Oh well... I guess it's ok. If we get to see nyx again!

>Captcha:thdtiti have
Yes captcha, they sure have the tities.

>>18112907
Not true, though I was late to the voting I will admit.
>>18113077
Because Kaleshi is far superior to Mika?

"HEY MAN, GOOD OF YOU TO SHOW UP!"

"You know me, how could I say no to drugs, booze, and crazy women?"

"HAHA, TOO RIGHT!" You and Doomrider brofist.

"I was wondering when you would show up." Kaleshi smirks.

"Ara, did you miss these that much?" Nyx asks, attempting to reveal her cleavage before realizing her armor doesn't allow... Wait, apparently it does.

"I am going to kill... So much shit... And I'm going to love it!" Lilith exclaims, blazing with crazy warp energy from her miniature armor.

"Well she certainly seems excited..."

"All the Slaanesh forces are fired up for some reason, even the big... it, itself seems to be ready."

"Really?"

"Rea~~lllyyy..." Slaanesh says as it runs its hands down your pauldrons from behind, before leaning forward to whisper in your ear.

"What you did last night... That was art, pure art."

"Err... Thanks?"

BLUEBERRY IS BEST
*has a sad*

>>18113089
of course and the kinky warp sex that defies the laws of nature and physics

>>18113098
Well we do have a bohemian streak

>>18113089
Them's fighting words. Still, I will admit I just wanted to go into battle on Rex. Any of the three were ok with me.

>>18113098

>"Rea~~lllyyy..." Slaanesh says as it runs its hands down your pauldrons from behind, before leaning forward to whisper in your ear.

>"What you did last night... That was art, pure art."

Slaanesh....didn't think of her really...

But oh my...last night must have been a high point for her.

rolled 12 = 12

X esh, tsunseer

>>18113089

I'm afraid alpharius is right.

>>18113089
I calmly point out that having a titan available seems more interesting than having our dick magiccally warped off.

But yeah, I wouldn't have been able to choose between Daemons and Eldar myself though.

Here to an ending with Esh

Our first true waifu.

>>18113176

I think, really, it boils down to Esh and Kaleshi. There can only really be one, methinks.

>I might eventually get around to a Mika and Esh end, might not be tonight though, but who knows. Not surprised it came down to these 3 choices.

"Should I be concerned at all, in the slightest?"

"Depends, do you like tentacles?" Lilith asks.

"...Maybe?"

"Well then maybe." Nyx grins.

"I am so lost."

"Well you had better find yourself and quick, because its time for SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!!!!" Kaleshi raises her axe, revving it hard. The whole of the Chaos forces roars at her gesture, from the largest of daemon prince to the smallest of chaos spawn.

"Quite an impressive force we have here." You muse.

"Fuck yeah it is, we run this shit." Kaleshi grins, putting on a pair of sunglasses before slipping a pair onto you.

Nyx gently places a fat stogie in your mouth, which Lilith lights with a bit of daemonic fire.

"Swag." You grin from your position atop the twin linked chaos landraider limousine.

"Pure swag."

With the armored fist of Chaos, your chosen army leads the assault. Ahead of you, far off in the distance, the forces of Malal wait. Even from here you can see the smog rising above their army.

"Punk ass doesn't stand a chance." You grin.

>>18113207
the dice gods have already decided

>>18113219
>twin linked chaos landraider limousine
Fucking Swag

>>18113219

>"Swag." You grin from your position atop the twin linked chaos landraider limousine.

I have no face that can reflect my reaction at this singular level of awesome.

>MFW I miss most of the thread!!!

Narrator: Morgan Freeman
Max: Steven Bulm
Fem Max/Helena: Nicole Sullivan
Sister Lycheria: Tabitha St. Germain
Ailia: Tara Strong
Esh: Grey DeLisle
Senna and Senda: Grey DeLisle
Kaleshi: Melissa Fahn
Lilith: Kathleen Barr
Nyx: Cree Summer
Tonya: Francesca Smith
Mika: Andrea Libman
Karen: Olivia D'Abo
Doomrider: Tommy Blacha
Abbadon: Christopher Sabat
Nurgle: John DiMaggio
Slaanesh: Tim Curray
Khorn: Keith David
Tzeentch: Nicole Oliver
Warboss: John DiMaggio
Emperor(Casual): Andrew Stanton
Emperor(Serious): Peter Cullen
Malice: Frank Welker
DarkHammer: Tony Jay
Kais: Scott McNeal
8: Phil Lamar
Niut: Emilie-Claire Barlow
Vect: J.K. Simmons
Ra'alman(before): Ian Holm
Ra’alman(after): Tricia Helfer
H Jon Benjamin: Teach
Tankered: Brian Blessed
Logan Grimnar: Vladimir Kulich
Creed: Liam Neson
Bjorn: Patrick Warburton
Horus: David Kaye

>>18113219
Why is there never a drawfag around when you need one?

>>18113219
i came

>>18113219

Since it's decided now, will you reveal your personal favourite waifu? Also, by the Emperor, if there is no Esh ending, I shall write it myself, dammit!

So...no Admech?

>>18113219
Thank you for the awesome, but I must go to sleep now. Thank you for the awesome post, and I am at least expecting some kind of epilogue. KEEP THE AWESOME GOING MAN!

rolled 7 = 7

yes, who was the waifu you were rooting for, papa-n?

>>18113319

>>18113274

>>18113219
This is gonna be good.

>>18113274
My personal favorite? I don't even know if I have one. Either Esh because tsundere, Kaleshi because agressive and fun, or Mika for dat HNNGGG. Also twins for shenanigans. Really I like them all.

If I had to pick one and only one... Mika because heart attacks and delicious shyness.

Close 2nd is Esh for crippling tsundere weakness

Close 3rd Kaleshi for just being her.

I was fine with any of them winning, really.

>>18113274
NO! it's not over! it's not it's not it's not!

*sniff*

>>18113351
...That looks Neil Cicieraga's writing. Is that his sister?

>>18113360
We share tastes comrade. Mika if only one, but fine with any of the three.

>>18113382
dunno i just found it and had to have it

I finally get caught up on HL last night, get home from work to check out the thread, and find out its already decided?

> NOOOOOOOOO.gif

I must sleep.
So us proud, kick malal where it hurts and be the big damn hero.

>>18113360

Funny, my preference is that order in reverse.

>MFW I will never find a girl like Kaleshi

>>18113429
I have to agree, though slip the twins in as joint with esh.

>MFW there will never be an adorable Tyranid girl

>>18113454
Know what?

I'm ok with this, let's have this be canon.

>>18113454
You bastard.
Now post the actual post, I can't sleep after this.

Those last fantasies marked the death of guardsman Maximus Decarus. As he lay in the mud, dying from the grievous wounds he had suffered, he dreamed of better times. Perhaps, this was his own way of forgiving the enemies he had fought in his short life; or maybe, like many other guardsmen, just dreamed of peace.

The Imperium of man is a vast ocean of humanity, so much so that even the annihilation of an entire regiment may go unnoticed by the high lords of Terra. The report received by astronomicon read that day:
"All quite on the western fringe"

what there was a papa post then there wasnt im so confused
all quiet on the western fringe

>>18113477

Huehuehue, right? RIGHT?

>>18113477
now youre just fucking with me

>>18113477

NO.

You delete that right now and do it right!

fuck! what did i miss

>>18113505
>>18113507
Idiots who don't know what a trip looks like.

>>18113477

Way to bring the mood down, boyo.

>>18113522
shit you shame me sir i dont usually read the trip

"Gentleman, its time." You tell the Noisemarines occupying the top of the vehicle as an honor guard.

"By your command."

"Begin."

The Noisemarines raise their weapons, and play the song of battle.

"...What is that, what are you playing?!"

"The song you told us to play."

"That sounds like a mariachi band."

"Si senior."

"...Continue."

Your massive landraider eats up the terrain until it stops with a gasping hiss.

Before you, sprawling as far as the eye can see, the forces of Malal.

The warped, skeletal bodies of marines, long since dead, standing in their ragged armor. Unspeakable beasts ten men high with gnashing bleached bone skulls and black soulless eyes.

"So, Commissar, at long last it comes to this!" Abbadon shouts at you, slipping off of his own landraider.

You match him, and both of you approach to within a foot of the other.

"You remember the rules?" He asks, gesturing at his second man, a chaos sorcerer.

"I did not." You nod.

"YOU READY TO GET THIS ON, SHITBAG?" Doomrider asks, spinning his axe around in his hand easily.

"Good thing I didn't have to."

"Well than, its time." Abbadon sneers, drawing his terror sword from its sheath.

"Oh yeah, motherfucker, its go time."

1d20 for initiative

>>18113477
No.

>>18113525
That said, (Yes I know it isn't Papa), but the part of me that is addicted to horrible, grimdark, deeply tearjerking endings will always hang onto that as a possible canon.

>>18113522
you make a good point.

I better get a fucking Esh ending