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  • File: 1330131114.jpg-(64 KB, 494x723, 1328874720316.jpg)
    64 KB Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)19:51 No.18086322  
    My DM said that all children in his setting were protected from being brought below 1HP by the powers that be.

    I promptly made him regret it by weaponizing these little immortals.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)19:54 No.18086346
    You did a good thing today OP
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)19:54 No.18086350
    I am anonymous and I approve of this action soldier.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)19:54 No.18086353
    But what if they turn on you?
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)19:55 No.18086360
    Today OP is not a faggot.
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 02/24/12(Fri)19:55 No.18086362
    Clearly, nothing bad could ever come of this. You're gonna be responsible for so many dead children one day. That, or the gods are gonna fuck you.

    But good on you, until that day.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)19:55 No.18086363
    That's when you give them more candy.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)19:56 No.18086366
    Ask that yourself about real child soldiers.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)19:57 No.18086374
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    >These....SEXY little soldiers....
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)19:57 No.18086375
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    Son, you rank up there with the best of them.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)19:57 No.18086379
    So... your DM is running a Fallout/Elder Scrolls game?
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)19:58 No.18086394

    Wait, so, in your setting children have no way out from a life of constant abuse and neglect when the local law fails to intervene on their behalf?

    Damn. Your GM is an evil man.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)19:59 No.18086397
    You can kill real child soldiers.

    These children will catch on really quick that they are unkillable, so threats will mean nothing to them.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)19:59 No.18086404
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    OP is the poster of the day.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)19:59 No.18086406
    You think of suicide as a way out? For children? Wow.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:00 No.18086412
    When I think about it, that would make a good quest. A setting where kids can't be killed, people become aware of this, and they end up turning them into soldiers.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:00 No.18086415
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    Mission Accepted.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:00 No.18086421
    Which is why you will be a benevolent Warlord. Chocolate and Ponies for everyone!
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:00 No.18086425
    >all children in his setting were protected
    What defines a child? What is the age limit of invulnerability?
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:01 No.18086429
    Actually that does sound pretty sweet.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:01 No.18086430
    That's why you keep them drugged up enough to keep them controllable.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:02 No.18086436
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    Rescue orphans, train them and show them affection.
    Lead your invincible army against any and all that oppose you.
    The cutest and most loyal shall be your honor guard.
    You are the Emprah!
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:03 No.18086440

    This should be investigated in depth, immortaility awaits those who can find those variables and exploit them!
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:03 No.18086444
    When this arbitrary age is reached the child is automatically put up for leadership training.

    No longer can he fight as fearless warrior, now he will guide them to expedient victory!
    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 02/24/12(Fri)20:03 No.18086448

    Wait, why are we assuming he's using them as immortal soldiers? What if he's using them as sentient guided munitions?
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:03 No.18086450
    How will the mortal adults control the immortal children, and how can those control schemes fail ?

    And how much warning do the children get before losing their immorality ?
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:04 No.18086451
    Not sure really, probably anything not of "adult" age, perhaps younger.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:04 No.18086452
    Age manipulation spells are the new sleep.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:04 No.18086457
    >suicide bombers that are immortal themselves

    FUND IT.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:04 No.18086461
    So logically:
    The children cannot go below 1hp. They cannot "die"
    Give them easily concealable explosives and collateral damage weaponry and use their newfound invulnerability to sow horror and discord. Brainwash their simple minds into being gods of justice. Have them realise pain is nothing.

    And accurately gauge when their adulthood kicks in and inform them of this timeframe
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:04 No.18086462
    >I promptly made him regret it by weaponizing these little immortals.
    Then the BBEG left piles of candy across the street from his stronghold.

    It also soon becomes apparent that the Gods enforce both curfews and time-outs. And your final villain is a supremely well traveled bard.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:04 No.18086463
    Because making them into ammo is stupid.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:04 No.18086464
    they won't be cute for very long

    sure, they can't die.. but their bodies break just like anyone else. They suffer in anguish until reaching adulthood (and death)
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:05 No.18086467
    Re-usable suicide bombers?

    Dear god, that's a superb terror weapon.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:05 No.18086468
    Most people would only seek out some Magic to turn them into a child themselves. But not you, anon. You'll take it even farther. I'm proud of you.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:06 No.18086470
    You misunderstand; they are always above 1 hp. That means they are always sufficiently able to move and fight. Which means they are never in so much pain that it's debilitating.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:06 No.18086477
    >it is a good pain....
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:07 No.18086478
    What's the point of making them immortal in the first place if he didn't want OP to do it? To act like a fuckwit?
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:07 No.18086482
    They're exempt from dying. He didn't say anything about pain, which gives a way to discipline them. >:)

    Forgive my emoticon use. Dealing with malware that hijacks just about any search so I have no relevant pics.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:07 No.18086485
    "Pappa OP said that when we come back from battle today we can all ride a dragon!"

    "I love Pappa OP!"
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:07 No.18086488
    Thank you exploitable and stupid gms in limited if not broken game systems
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:07 No.18086490
    Not knowing what actual evil is.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:07 No.18086491
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    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:08 No.18086493
    >i know what'll stop them from being That Guy(s), unkillable children! no murder sprees here.

    When good ideas go wrong
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:08 No.18086500
    DM just wanted children to not die. He never forsaw this use of them. Thus the win of this thread.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:09 No.18086513
    >And your final villain is a supremely well traveled bard.

    OH SHIT IT'S THE PIED PIPER OF HAMLIN. OP is now proper fucked.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:09 No.18086520

    See >>18086490 That's what he was trying to avoid.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:10 No.18086522
    Well I don't know who to blame for that, but if your players are going about and killing people "just for teh evulz XD" or what have you then you need new players. Isn't that the most reasonable approach?
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:10 No.18086534
    You did what any human being would do in that situation.

    IRL, nations would take advantage of that shit.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:10 No.18086535
    Did you seriously just refer to me to a post made after my post, in reply to my post, while I was in the middle of replying to that post? You're three kinds of retarded.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:11 No.18086536
    I wonder what system it's in,

    Cause then we could find the quickest and cheapest way to cause mass destruction with this invincible army.

    We could give them magical artifacts that backfire explosively and just unleash them on the world.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:11 No.18086541
    No, he just said it before me.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:11 No.18086545
    Yes. But the most important rule as a DM is to never tell this to the players. Because they will abuse anything and everything. And you will deserve it.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:12 No.18086554
    d20 future with some tweaks.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:13 No.18086560
    Then you didn't need to say it. If nothing else you could have said it without acting retarded.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:13 No.18086563

    If it somehow comes to the party harming a child, that's when you pop up with the whole 'divine intervention' rule. And try to downplay it. Alot.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:14 No.18086568
    OP, that is fucking terrifying.

    Imagine a child who got trapped in an avalanche and, because they can't die, must spend years alone in choking darkness and silence until they are old enough to instantly expire.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:15 No.18086577
    That child will be my general, I must find and rescue them, and shape the agony and hatred festering withing to my will.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:17 No.18086598
    If the kids act up you could still imprison them, encase them in concrete or something. They can't die and that makes it even more terrifying, being deprived of senses until you hit adult age and finally die. Immortality doesn't mean they get superpowers.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:17 No.18086599
    Because the part OP fails to mention is that whenever he sees an Orphanage, group of more than 3 children, or single child by its lonesome he goes full That Guy.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:20 No.18086627
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    >mfw OP is Big Boss
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:24 No.18086652
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    Then you end up with a couple of kids like this.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:24 No.18086656
    >d20 future with some tweaks.
    Doesn't drowning damage ignore HP?

    What happens when you get on the bad side of the Squirtle Squad? Or the Empoleon/Blastoise/Feraligator triad? Or the mother fucking Mudkip Mafia?
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:25 No.18086665
    Are there six generations of pokemon games yet? Because all I want to make is a team of the six water starters. That is all I want.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:25 No.18086666
    >cement shoes
    >throw them in lake
    I hope they enjoy waiting until they're old enough to drown
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:28 No.18086684



    Play me the song of your people, Piper.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:33 No.18086722
    Hey, I just noticed : the guy that did those is doing Cucumber Quest ?
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:36 No.18086764
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    And this is why back in the day we had death spells with no save. We killed so many children it was no funny.

    Who am I kidding, it never stopped being funny.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:37 No.18086769
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    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:39 No.18086783
    The reality of child soldiers is pretty grim.

    I mean they are usually forced to mutilate and torture small animals in order to desensitize them into killing machines.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:41 No.18086805
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    But other times it's adorable.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:43 No.18086825
    This thread is like Little Fears: War Edition.

    I actually want to run this as the premise of a game where the PCs are either immortal child soldiers or the mortal adults that operate this military machine.

    Could use AdEva for this, I suppose.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:43 No.18086829
    Human is too long of a word for my weak fingers.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:52 No.18086925
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    This stinks of a railroad trap. Think about it for a moment.

    >all children in his setting were protected from being brought below 1HP by the powers that be.

    This alone infers that something or someone is watching out for said children yes? If this DM sees that a simple change is going to be abused by corrupt players, he has every opportunity into rail road them into something awful and they have no one to blame but themselves.

    If i were a god that protected all children from dying in the same manner, i'd be rather pissed at those that used them as weapons and there would be literal hell to pay. Such an opening is ripe for DM shenanigans.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:57 No.18086970
    Until he turns his armies against the very god which protects them.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)20:58 No.18086982
    What kind of shit DM makes a railroad trap for their players?
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)21:01 No.18087015
    Holy shit.

    Child Paladins.

    Immortal blessed Paladins of the CPS God.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)21:04 No.18087043
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    Very logical counter, however, what's stopping the god(s) from just yanking said protection away? They could inform the kids of this if you had a reasonable DM, but if you have a malicious DM, they could let the kids march right to their deaths and still punish the PCs for convincing the kids they were un-killable when they weren't. Thus turning the would be heroes into the new villains on the run.

    Considering some of the THAT DM stories i've read on /tg/, you'd be surprised who'd pull it. If you have doubts about that, lurk and find a thread in the archives with the text "WHAT THE FUCK IS A YELLOW DRAGON?".
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)21:05 No.18087056
    This only makes your enemies yearn to take them in and comfort them!
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)21:06 No.18087066
    And then they trigger the bombs.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)21:07 No.18087082
    He has a policy of not fucking over clever players, luckily.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)21:10 No.18087105
    Well the general idea is that if you a god which give protection from death to all children that that god would either be incapable of removing it (by the manner of some agreement) or unwilling to. And if you force a god to revoke such protection to ensure it's own survival then even if it kills you in the long run you've still won a moral victory over a god in forcing it to not only revoke it's protection over children but also forcing it to kill the children it loves so much.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)21:21 No.18087223
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    Then you are more fortunate than most in that regards, although it's something i hope isn't taken for granted.

    When dealing with gods, it's not a matter of who's right and who's wrong, it's a matter of who has a better smite button. A moral victory would be a sweet thing against a lawful good god, but against practically any other aligned god, all you've accomplished is getting to the top of the list of things that it needs to smite.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)21:25 No.18087261
    Perhaps, but personally I'd I be more than happy with a moral victory of the Child Protection God.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)21:31 No.18087313
    And as I said before I can't see anything but a Good-aligned god in a position to remove that protection.

    >rcessanc may
    Well okay captcha, .but rcessanc is a dick.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)21:46 No.18087472
    I've not laughed at anything so hard today, thanks /tg/, that's why you're my favorite.

    On topic: I see the immortality being yanked as soon as one of these kids made their first kill in the name of said overlord. Innocence = childhood to me. Once something has killed something else, it stops being a child. Accidents are one thing but moving with intent to harm is another, even if the thing doesn't understand the concept. If the DM was a party pooper he would pull that card, I'm sure.

    If he's not and its an immutable rule, I'd love to see him try and work his way out of that one.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)22:03 No.18087656
    Hmm, this is a good point. I guess we'd just have to use some sort of mass mind control on the children so that they didn't willingly commit the murders in that case.

    Children are now remote-controlled murder shells.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)22:15 No.18087783
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    "Can we go out for ice cream afterwards?"

    Immortal Child Thralls for the win.
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)22:20 No.18087843
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    So... what if it's not a *good* God who's doing the protecting, but an evil one who foresaw all this dickery?

    Probably a bit above the DM in question, and a bit of a derp-retcon button, but it could make the basis for a very interesting campaign?
    >> Anonymous 02/24/12(Fri)23:39 No.18088663
    I plan to take a page from one of the above players and have my players play immortal child soldiers.
    >> Anonymous 02/25/12(Sat)03:36 No.18091253
    >"Can we go out for ice cream afterwards?"

    For the life of me I can't remember where this portrait and quote are from.

    Please help.
    >> Anonymous 02/25/12(Sat)04:36 No.18091683
    I wanna say Gunslinger Girl, but I'm pretty sure that's wrong.

    Hey, speaking of, someone stated those girls for Shadowrun. Does anyone have that on hand?
    >> Anonymous 02/25/12(Sat)04:48 No.18091739
    Archivin' for Awesome
    >> Anonymous 02/25/12(Sat)04:57 No.18091779
    Mecha and Manga sourcebook for Mutants and Masterminds 2e.
    >> Anonymous 02/25/12(Sat)05:08 No.18091843
    Strap babies to your chest to use as a meat shield.
    >> Anonymous 02/25/12(Sat)05:27 No.18091922
    Childhood is lost with innocence, GM could define that as fully understanding love or death.

    Your child soldiers are now one-shot immortals that had better never see the results of their handiwork.

    >mfw this is future so give their HUDs a tactical overlay that turns combat into a war simulation and spawns repeating avatars over enemies
    >> Anonymous 02/25/12(Sat)05:47 No.18092038
    one of the most hilarious moments in any campaign i've ever played involved the death of a child.
    Star Wars saga games. Good aligned force user attempts to use the force to hold a sith apprentice (about 12ish) while the sith tried to force jump away and escape. crit fail on the jump and crit success on the force use equals smooshed sith appretice. coul not stop laughing.
    >> Anonymous 02/25/12(Sat)06:01 No.18092093
    >Childhood is lost with innocence
    So he can't just kill a child for the lulz, he has to thoroughly corrupt it before killing it.
    You made everything worse.
    >> Anonymous 02/25/12(Sat)06:04 No.18092108
    Until they loose their virginity.

    Which could lead to some very awkward explaining if someone's kid dies
    >> Boomer !!bcdVCSUmpgT 02/25/12(Sat)06:07 No.18092123
    Your GM is a moron from shying away from the problems instead of enforcing the consequences.

    Good for you. Make him face himself. Then he should face the child killers with heroes.
    >> Anonymous 02/25/12(Sat)06:18 No.18092182
    Cast enlarge person on some of the children. Train other children to serve as archers. Have child archers mounted on giant children firing flaming arrows. Children hurling children over city walls, slingshotting children to the roofs of castles with satchels of alchemist's fire at the ready.

    Destroy the world OP.
    >> Anonymous 02/25/12(Sat)12:43 No.18094467
    I'm now reminded of that gif where the catapult Frodo into Mordor.

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