The furry little bastard is gesturing you towards it now.
"Come're you, I have a proposition."
you think, "HOLYSHIT A PSYCHIC TALKING MONKEY."
Curiosity taking the best of you, you walk towards it.

The park is deserted and bathed in the light of the setting sun. The monkey fixes it's beady eyes on you as you take each step towards it.

As you reach the base of the mass of tubes it is now sitting on top of, it says, "How would you like to be a Magical Gir-, I mean, Boy?"

[]yes?
[]yes?
[]do i get to wear a skirt?

[x]Do I get to wear a skirt?

>>17959637
[x] Only when Power Armor.

[x]do i get to wear a skirt? also, I hear silk undies feel really nice when it touches the skin. how about high heels? i can has pony?

>>17959637
[x] Only if I get a gun and power armor. A stetson and duster are fine too.

>>17959637
What the fuck, give us some proper choices, don't I at least get a wish or something?

That said:
>[X]yes

>>17959661
You can has Kamen Rider motorcycle, maybe when leveled up later. For now, ITS FOOTSLOGGIN TOIME BOYZ.

>>17959671
Well you only get a wish when you trade in your soul for it so nah probably better not to do it.

>>17959671
This is going in my collection of "why did I save this?"

Naming up for the lulz.

>>17959642
>>17959651
"Only if you want to" it answers, "you can wear whatever the fuck you want"

"Anyway, let me explain things a bit further. Gob I hope this fucking translator is up to par. Anyway, My name is ILJBL:KJNASDLIGBRF:KLSEJH:KL. I come from the Inter-Dimensional Peace-keeping Bureau's recruitment branch."
It's name sounds like an elephant in a blender, you think to yourself, but you continue to listen.

"I promised my Director that i'd get someone to sign-up for this Dimension. I set-up wards around this place, and only those with some potential for MAJAIKS could enter... Congratulations. You're a wizard Harry."
You try and interrupt him that that's not your name, but he continues. "What's your name by the way? Also how old are you? I can never remember how the again process works in this Dimension?"

**best roll of d100**

[x]Yes, but I hope you won't put me into some frilly dress.

rolled 64 = 64

>>17959729
[x] Kamijou
[x] 17
>(DO I TEMPT FATE THE RIGHT WAY GUIZE?)

rolled 75 = 75

[x]Nanako
[x]12

rolled 87 = 87

>>17959729
Compulsive lying.
Name: "Susan" (lie)
Age: "13" (22)

rolled 71 = 71

>>17959729
Janosch
16

>>17959729
forgot to add "Best roll of the first 5."

i think SUSAN might win though

rolled 21 = 21

>>17959729
Name: Tamiya
Age: 14

rolled 97 = 97

Don't want to be a "Susan"

[x] Kamijou
[x] 17

>>17959781
Hah!
That's the fifth roll, so I'm happy with this.

>>17959758
Ok, Tiffany, why did you do that?

>>17959771
I serve the side that makes me laugh hardest.

>>17959781
Awww shit nigga, why did you have to pick that name

>>17959793
So you're a lol randumb idiot.
I mean, it wasn't even FUNNY. It was just annoying.

rolled 94 = 94

>>17959781
>...point is, legal system is piece of shit, so I was sent to the big house. Now I am locked up in small smelly room with big fat man who keeps calling me susan and really-
>"HEY SUSAN, WHY DON'T YOU COME RUB MY FEET"
>"Hey assface, why don't you go fuck yourself?"

>>17959804
Because fate temptage is strong in this one.

OP, you might want to set yourself a tripcode. Just sayin'.

>>17959781
Y u no say Akagi, make us dice wizard?

>>17959793
The most dangerous kind of mercenary.

>>17959758
"Susan, huh? 13? Wow, people on this plane grow up fast." It says in mild surprise.
"Anyway, since this fucking translator cant get my name down, you can just call me Mike. Like i've said before im here to recruit you into becoming an enforcer for the IDPKB."
You are surprised your lies were taken for face value by this guy.
"If you join us you'll learn MAJAIKS. See, other worlds. Get inter-dimensional pussy. And a pretty sweet dental plan to boot."

It waves it's tail around and somehow a metallic sphere materializes beside it. You sense that it's watching you somehow.

"So, kid. Will you do it?"

[ ]yes
[ ]tell me more
[ ]I'm in it for all the bitches

rolled 73 = 73

>>17959836
[x] DO IT MOTHERFUCKER

>>17959836
[x]Tell me more.

You say it's got a good dental plan, but what about optical? And how many free resurrections per years? And what's the co-pay?
The retirement plan's not a bullet to the head, is it?

>>17959836
Fuck yeah, inter-dimensional pussy.

[x] YES!

>>17959855
"Well our in-house medics and MAJAIK you up the best teeth you'll ever need.We ensure you that our PHLAT-ARMOR technology will keep you alive, sure you can still get dinged up, but you will never be in real mortal danger. All-medical needs will be covered by the Bureau, MAGAIKS and all that shit. You can retire whenever you want, but in some cases we'll have to erase your memories and implant new ones to fill in the blanks."
As you little to this furry banana gobbler talk-on, a wide horizontal beam of light shoots out of the sphere floating beside him and begins to sweep over you.
"... Don't worry though, I'll personally make sure the implanted memories be fucking awesome."
Your initial surprise at the beam of light, settles down as you realize that the sphere was scanning you.

"Pay will be in the form of gold, you'd be surprised how it holds it's value across dimensions. Trainees get 31Guptas per week for the duration of basic training. Field agents get much more than that."
The sphere has now began began to scan you from behind, you take little notice to it now.

"You can quit basic training anytime you want. I'll have the boys down in Mental Alterations give you memories of hot sexings with a person/persons of your choosing"

The sphere now floats back in front of you and hovers at eye level 2 feet away.

"So, all of your data has been scanned. A device has been temporarily calibrated to your biology. all you need to do now is say YES to make everything official"

[ ]yes
[ ]fuck yes
[ ] ayup

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
yes, i type slow. please bear with it.

[X]YES
As per instructions

>>17959988
[x] Yes

At least we're getting paid. This sure as hell beats getting a summer job for spending money.
And hey, HOT INTERDIMENSIONAL PUSSY!

>>17959988
[x] yes
"How about actual sex instead of just memories? Or instead of with someone of my choosing, AS someone of my choosing? Or maybe both?"

rolled 65 = 65

>>17959988
[X]YES

>bear with me
NOW YOU'VE DUN GOOF'D

>>17960038
>>17960027
>>17960033

As you look into the scanner in front of you, and say YES, you hear an audible whirr from it, and what surprisingly enough sounds like a camera shutter.

You voice your concerns over memories of sexings, and Mike replies, "Sure, we can have you actually have sex with anyone. We got MAJAIKS. We'll still have to erase your memories as needed though."

Mike the monkey jumps off the jungle gym, and lands on your shoulder.
"Congratulations, you are now trainee #354d24 of the IDPKB. You will not believe how much pussy the badge pulls."
It continues:
"I will also serve as your handler/trainer/cute animal familiar during training. So let's get started."
He produces what looks like a weird ID card and hands it to you.
"This is your badge and device. The preloaded AI will be able to assist you during duty. It also stores your PHLAT-ARMOR when innactive."

You look at the card and you see a picture of you and some really weird moonrunes all-over it. Your picture seems vaguely three dimensional.

"So what exactly is this "Armor" you speak of, and "Device"?" you ask

"Phlat-Armor is a generated combat suit, tailored to fit the user. It can be anything you want. It can look anyway you want. It will protect you from almost anything during combat. A Device is something that will channel your MAJAIKS into to help you control it better. It is also generated to fit the user."

"Okay, lets try it out. Activate your armor by saying ARMOR-ON, and imagine what you'd want your armor to look like."
***BEST ROLL OF THE FIRST FIVE 1d100***

>>17960189
Maid outfit and a vacuum cleaner

rolled 48 = 48

>>17960224
Fucking tablet rolling

rolled 62 = 62

>>17960189
Manly maid outfit and a flamethrower.

rolled 44 = 44

>>17960189
Full Gentlemans outfit, with top hat (like that one sailor moon guy).

With umbrella gun and walking cane sword.

rolled 74 = 74

>>17960189
Stetson, duster, and a pair of Colt Peacemakers with a Winchester across the back.

>>17960245
LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!

rolled 85 = 85

>>17960189
Full-on English butler, complete with bowler hat.

rolled 99 = 99

>>17960245
Lame, really.

rolled 16 = 16

>>17960245
Ignore this asshat.

rolled 26 = 26

>>17960249
Deleting my previous post to support MAGIC BUTLER idea

>>17960263
>>17960256
>>17960248
So you're okay with being called Susan, but you don't want anything to do with an effective ranged weapon?

>>17960252
Ok, now we're Susan Pan Tau.
Could be worse.

rolled 36 = 36

>>17960285
Dude, magic. Only an idiot brings a gun to a magic fight.

rolled 70 = 70

>>17960285
I'm not okay with being called Susan, I just supposed arguing was pointless and unimportant.

>i supplied the Kamijou idea initially

rolled 61 = 61

>>17960285
OP only asked for ARMOR. Not on the DEVICE yet.

YOU BUTTHURT YOUR COWBOI FANTASIES GOT SHOT DOWN?
DEAL WITH IT

rolled 29 = 29

>>17960307
Cowboy fantasies? I thought he was going for the stereotypical "neckbeards think it looks cool" social reject costume.

>>17960252
You do as Mike tells you and imagine yourself as a dapper butler. Butlering your way through magical combat. Using your butler magic to butlerize the enemies of peace, justice and tea.

A convoluted transformation sequence later, there you stand in all your butler glory.

"Oooh, classy" Comments Mike, "Now activate your Device."
"Say "LOAD UP" and imagine it into any form you feel you would be comfortable with."

***BEST ROLL OF THE FIRST FIVE 1d100***
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
had to go out for a piss.
>>17960269
will let this slide for now.

rolled 33 = 33

Our weapon is a Dakimaru with us in a skirt printed on on one side. The other side is a female version of ourselves.

rolled 83 = 83

>>17960343
MG3 Light Machine Gun.

>>17960356
>moar pics

rolled 12 = 12

>>17960343

A raygun looking like pic related.

rolled 91 = 91

>>17960343
A magical tea service set. Saucers for throwing, teapot for EARLU GURAY BEAMU, and cups to enjoy some tea during battles.

rolled 83 = 83

>>17960343
Bowler hat.

rolled 97 = 97

A Choppa and dakka.

rolled 70 = 70

>>17960356
Not an MG42?

>>17960365
More like Eiruu Gurei Biimu.

>>17960365
This should also include a tray that can be used as a shield. Its magical properties should allow us to maintain dapper composure up to the very last moment before using the tray as a shield, and then to immediately regain that dapper composure as though nothing ever happened once the attack is over.

rolled 94 = 94

>>17960370
>>17960356
Both within five and matching rolls.
Our Weapon is a Machine Gun that fires bowler hats.

>>17960405
Why not a bowler hat that fires machine guns?

>>17960379
Its basically the same gun but recambered to modern NATO cartridges and made simpler and more sturdy.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rheinmetall_MG3

rolled 55 = 55

>>17960411
That just might be crazy enough to work!

>>17960405
Needs moar DAPPA!

>>17960405
>>17960411
>>17960430
>in b4 Oddjob
>or Goldeneye

rolled 84 = 84

>>17960431
BRILLIANT.

>>17960365
In your hand appears a tray containing a full teaset, complete with teapot, cups saucers, the works.
It feels surprisingly light, and extra ordinarily stable.
you feel some solid things in your coat pocket.
reaching in, you pull out some silverware.

"Fairly unique, the boys down at Records will get a kick out of that. Most everyone goes for swords or guns nowadays, we rarely get something so "creative"."

"Okay, Susan. Your armor is now calibrated. Your Device will continue adjusting itself as you use it. OH, I forgot something. Your Device AI needs a name for better interaction."
He says. "What'll it be?"

***BEST ROLL OF THE FIRST FIVE 1d100***

rolled 60 = 60

Rapestar

rolled 66 = 66

>>17960458
Sebastian.

rolled 53 = 53

The tea set shall be called Mr. Stevens!

>>17960458
The google-fu is strong with this QM.

rolled 19 = 19

>>17960458
God Save the Queen

rolled 89 = 89

Kraus

rolled 54 = 54

>>17960458
Percival Ulysses

rolled 25 = 25

Jarvis

>>17960469
i use Gelbooru for images.

>>17960475
I hope that's short for Johannes Krauser II.

>>17960458
I'm digging on this idea. I'm imagining some ridiculous uses already. On the small scale, we could use Forks and knives offensively and deflect smaller attacks with spoons..

Our Ultimate attack will have to be TEA TIME, where in we summon a large Tea Cup and Saucer, scoop up our enemy and subject them to a bath in scalding hot water from our tea pot and a vigorous painful stirring with an enormous spoon.

rolled 22 = 22

Duke Shade

>>17960503
Nah. I say we serve a nice hot tureen of Weasel Soup. Valar Morgulis, gentlemen.

>>17960503
And they get bludgeoned by giant sugar cubes falling into the cup

rolled 63 = 63

>>17960503
I was thinking
Step 1: Brew hot tea.
Step 2: Throw boiling hot tea in their face.
Step 3: While they are writhing in pain, throw the saucer as a shuriken, decapitating them.

>>17960475
>>17960488
"I shall call him Kraus."

Upon uttering the name one of the teacups rattle, and you hear a mildly mechanical voice say:
"I AM PLEASED WITH THE NAME YOU HAVE GIVEN ME FLESHBAG. I SHALL ACCOMPANY YOU AS WE FUCK UP OUR ENEMIES AND FUCK ALL THE BITCHES."
Your surprise at this bold statement must have been apparent on your face since Mike says:
"Hmnnn seems like you got a weird AI there man. I can have it replaced if it grates on you too much."

"Nah I'm okay with him. Let's keep him as is."
You begin to imagine all the badasseryyou and your foulmouthed teaset will do.

"Welp. Your choice. Okay, Kraus, give susan here a little outline of your capabilities."

"FUCK YOU FURFAG. YOU DONT ORDER ME AROUND. BUT SINCE MR.BUTLER-GUY HERE NEEDS TO BE ABLE TO USE ME TO MY FULL AWESOME POTENTIAL, THEN I HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE."


***Higher than 50 1d100 is Kraus' ability.***
*Max of 5 for now*
*one ability per roll*

rolled 92 = 92

... Am I an awful person for wanting to make a dapper magical butler with tea-based attacks in an actual tabletop game?

>>17960559
>BlazBlue shit
this thread was shit, but i fixed that now. dont worry.

rolled 27 = 27

>>17960559
Forkriken.

rolled 30 = 30

Forcing the rules of hospitability on enemies.
You start serving them and they are bound to be polite and enjoy tea with you.
Served food may not be poisoned but we can leave the place and use this as our chance to run away.

rolled 73 = 73

>>17960564
Look into Magical Burst or MAID RPG

>>17960559
The Ability to alter the size and scale of our tea set as described in >>17960503 for various offensive and defensive measures. Giant Knives to use as swords, Forks to use as spears, Spoon to scoop and toss our enemies about, Saucer Shields, and massive tea cups to imprison our enemies.

rolled 40 = 40

>>17960559
"Wrath of Ceylon"
A hot, ranged beam of fine tea.

rolled 54 = 54

Warmode.
Our knives become warknives, etc.

rolled 58 = 58

Saucer-based flight.
Don't ask how we do that while holding onto it.

rolled 73 = 73

>>17960605
Wat da zog does a weaponized spoon look like?

"Walls of Havannah"
A smoke screen produced by fine cigars.

>>17960632
>Wat da zog does a weaponized spoon look like?
Sharp edges to cut out organs?
Bigger size and handle?

rolled 34 = 34

TEAPOT FIRES A BEAM OF DESTRUCTIVE TEA.

rolled 71 = 71

>>17960662
Like a war shovel.

rolled 30 = 30

>>17960559
"Butler's Step"
Snap of the fingers allows for instantaneous teleportation over short distances, like a butler that always appears when called.

rolled 9 = 9

Summon maids

rolled 42 = 42

"The way the cookie crumbles"
Explosive shortbread volley.

>>17960597
okay.
>>17960605 see above

>>17960624
Susan takes one of the saucers, enlarges it and rides that to fly.


we have 2 abilities. need 3 more

>>17960602
>>17960674
keep rolling to get EARL GREY BEAAAAAAAAAM!

rolled 46 = 46

Call Master.
We gain support from a supernatural entity, only known as "master" to us.
He's actually the devil.

rolled 19 = 19

Invisibility
A good Butler is never seen unless called.

rolled 31 = 31

Keys to the manor

We can open any door/locked thing.
And anything we lock will stay locked.

rolled 45 = 45

>>17960711
"Helping Hands"
Teacups turn into copies of Susan and can help in any task.

rolled 10 = 10

>>17960711
"E. Grey Man"
Imma chargin my Teapot!

Also, you forgot: >>17960632

rolled 28 = 28

>>17960711
Give us the fucking tea laser!!!

>>17960746
>>17960744
>>17960732
>>17960721
>>17960713
What is up with these rolls?

>>17960746
oh yeah.
welp, thats 3 then.

GIANT TEASET COMBAT
SMOKESCREEN
LITERAL FLYING SAUCER

rolled 92 = 92

I want my tea beam, goddamnit!
Cannot be so hard!

Bunny mode
See >>17960768
It gives us seduction abilities and causes inferiority complexes in our enemies.

rolled 99 = 99

>>17960783
Fuck the roll.

>>17960785
Oh shit.

rolled 52 = 52

Since a ranged attack is needed. I will give TEA LASER as the sixth of 5 abilities.


Rolling for CLEAN UP
Allows us to protect the battlefield from collateral damage, or to fix damage instantly after battle

>>17960806
Quest Master rolling in their own thread?
What is this Madness?!

>>17960632 Silverware combat
>>17960624 Flying Saucer
>>17960597 Smokescreen
>>17960785 Bunnymode
>>17960806 Area Protection
>Bonus: TEA LASER
"OKAY SUSAN, IF THAT REALY IS YOUR NAME, THOSE SIX ARE MY FIVE INITIAL ABILITIES."
Kraus ratles on, "YOU CAN ENLARGE ANY PART OF ME, FOR COMBAT. EACH PIECE ALLOWS HAS A SPECIFIC USE."

"THE FORKS ARE BASICALY TRIDENTS"
"THE TRAY IS A SHIELD"
"THE CUPS ARE BARRIERS, THEY CAN KEEP SHIT IN, OR KEEP SHIT OUT."
"TAKE ONE OF THE SAUCERS AND YOU CAN FLY ON IT LIKE A FUCKING FAIRY OF BUTLERIZED DEATH"
"THE KNIVES ARE SWORDS OBVIOUSLY, YOU FUCK."
"AND THE TEAPOT FIRES A TEA LASER. YES, A FUCKING TEA LASER."

"FEEL AROUND IN YOUR CHEST POCKET AND YOU'LL FIND A FUCKING CIGAR. USE IT FOR SMOKE SCREENS. YOU DON'T FUCKING SMOKE? I DON'T FUCKING CARE. LIGHT UP."

"I CAN GENERATE A REALITY SPHERE THAT WILL SUSPEND REALITY IN A 1KM RADIUS. ANY DAMAGE SUSTAINED BY INSIDE IT BY NONCOMBATANTS/STRUCTURES WILL BE AUTOMATICALLY REPAIRED AFTER COMBAT. SO DONT GO CRYING FOR THE FLOWERS AND SHIT, I HAVE THAT COVERED."

"FINALLY, YOU HAVE BUNNY MODE. DO NOT ASK ME ABOUT BUNNYMODE. FUCK."

[ ] ask him about bunnymode
[ ] do not ask him about bunnymode
[ ] try out one of these abilities

>>17960895
Well at least he rolled for it.

>[x] do not ask him about bunnymode
>[x] try bunnymode

[X] Test out EVERYTHING
We have a barrier, we have time - Let's wreck shit without doing damage.

Don't use Bunnymode. Just ask if there's ever an appropriate situation for it and what kind of powers we gain, without going into detail.

>>17960937
Time for laser target practice.
Run, monkey, run!

rolled 8 = 8

>>17960937
Shit.. We're not just some pansy magic boy in a skirt, we're a one many army of pure DAPPA and class...

Rolling to try out Bunny mode.

rolled 56 = 56

Try bunny mode on nearest adult human female

Yes, I do have to specify human. Don't want to hit on a passing animal.

Fighting style possibility:
>Enlarge Fork
>Enlarge Hand Towel

Knife and tray for sword-and-board mode. I suggest we adopt a style of only using a given combo for a single attack or defense at a time: throw the entire service tray in the air except for the two items to be used, attack/defend, and then catch everything perfectly before it falls.

Guys. Guys.
You really dont want to try out bunnymode.
Remember when you asked if you can wear a skirt?

Also, OP is into Hayate no Gotoku.
THIS IS WHAT WE'LL GET

rolled 63 = 63

>>17961063
I do not see any downside to this outcome.

[X]TRY OUT THAT MOTHERFUCKING BUNNYMODE

>>17961063
But that kind of oppose the purpose of bunnymode.
Bunnymode is supposed to be RAW MANLINESS.

rolled 72 = 72

>>17961123
I've got your Bunny Mode right here.

>>17961050
Good idea.
If we don't manage to kill an enemy in the time it takes for the tray to fall (I guess that we got super strength), it's time to get serious.

We should try to time the battles exactly, so that we can catch the try exactly at the moment when we defeated the opponent. This should be a good way to train our abilities.

>>17961063
ohohohoh. you just had to give me that idea.


-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

"Okay Kraus, Mike, i want to try some of this stuff."
"You might want to activate that reality sphere, the barrier I put up to get isolate this place for you wasn't really made for combat." The monkey replies.

"Kraus, BARRIER UP." you command
"JAWOHL! REALITY SUSPENSION ACTIVATED."

You reach into your coat pocket and pull up a knife.
"Combat mode, Schwert Silber!"
The knife grows to over a meter in length, surprisingly it's still as light as ever.
Taking a few swings, you reduce the jungle gym into a pile of shredded metal.

"Fliegende Untertasse" You've never studied German but the commands just materialize in your brain.

One of the saucers jumps out from under a cup and enlarges to the size of a manhole cover. It hovers a few inches off the ground waiting for you to get on.

You jump on it and it holds your weight.
"THINK OF MOVING IT AND IT WILL FUCKING MOVE" Kraus supplements.

You fly through the air, holding Kraus the beligerent teaset in one hand and Mike the talking monkey on your shoulder.

>>17961209
Ok, before you go on:
I'm German. What is "Schwert Silber!" supposed to mean?

rolled 1 = 1

>>17961223
Same thing as vingardium leviosa and U


That is, nonsense designed to sound like magic

>>17961247

Or maybe it's "silver sword" in German.

After a short but amazing flight you land and the saucer goes back to it's place on the tray.

"What if I need my right hand free?" you ask Kraus, "I just cant keep holding you like this. Sure my arm weirdly doesnt even get tired staying in this position [lol MAJAIKS] but a guy sometimes needs 2 hands for some shit."

"JUST THROW ME IN THE AIR YOU WUSS, ILL STAY UP THERE AS LONG AS YOU NEED ME TO."

You decide to try it out.
"Hey Mike, Would you mind getting off me for a bit?"
"Sure. Just put me down while I observe" He replies. He jump off your shoulder and sits on the ground a few feet away.

Reaching back into your coat pocket, you pull out a spoon and a fork.

>>17961280
That would be "Silberschwert".
I guessed it was based on the secondary meaning of "silver" in English, which doesn't exist in German. The closest would be "Besteck" or "Tafelsilber".

>>17961280
>>17961247
>>17961223
using google translate here, please bear with me some more.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

You throw the full tray in your right hand straight up in the air, and transfer the fork to your now free
hand.

"Großen Löffel, Dreizack Gabel!"
The spoon and fork transform into gargantuan versions of themselves. each intricate carving retained in full detail.

You turn to the monkey, "Hey Mike, you're up."
You pick him up with the spoon and fling him as hard as you can.
You cam barely hear him yell "FUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUU!" as he zooms towards the trees.

Taking the fork, you throw it as hard as you can.
It jams itself into a tree trunk and the handle catches Mike before he goes any further.

"You asshole!" the primate screams. "Fuck you man. FUCK YOU."

Ignoring the monkey's litany you put your hand back up to position to catch Kraus, and he automatically falls back on it. Nary a cup out of place.

You pick up the teapot.
"Hey Mike. DODGE!"

I'm out.
Your bad German is physically painful.

>You fly through the air, holding Kraus the beligerent teaset in one hand and Mike the talking monkey on your shoulder.

>>17961363
Help me better it? please?

give me TEA LASER in german

>>17961363
That's the straw that breaks your camel's back? REALLY? After everything else in this thread? Okay.

>>17961363
It's actually true to FSN canon. Every German sentence in that series was atrocious.

>>17961388
Teelaser
...Yeah, that one is kind of trivial.

>>17961397
It actually made more sense when translated into English.

>>17961397
I'm actually trying to draw from the NANOHA series, but whatever lol.

>>17961419
Asuka's German in NGE was total shit as well. So I guess proper German is VERBOTEN in glorious nihon.

> Schwert Silber
"Schwertsilber" could mean "Sword silver" - as in, silver as sword. Which doesn't really make sense.
Using proper German for this one isn't easy. Maybe "Messerschwert" or "Besteckschwert".
The latter one would be a pun on "Besteckmesser", which means "knife used for eating".

> Großen Löffel

Should be "Großer Löffel".
Otherwise it would mean "(To the) big spoon", except even weirder.

> Dreizack Gabel
Dreizackgabel (Or maybe Gabeldreizack?) would be more correct, but it isn't wrong.

>>17961427
It's not that German is verboten in Japan, it's that most Japanese have precisely zero ideas on how to do it, thus everything is off by several miles.

>>17961479
Yeah, they get English more or less right, but their German is worse by far.
I think part of the issue is that it's easier to get German wrong due to inflections.

Hey man, the broken german is part of the charm! Like those horribly translated old chinese wuxia movies!

rolled 79 = 79

Fuck this German lesson.
[x]BUNNYMODE. NOW.

The japanese love their "deutsu" but that doesn't mean they care enough to get it right.
Most japanese still solely rely on their own "masterrace" language.

Fun-fact: German is still used as medical jargon in Japan.

>>17961427
I'm german and thought it was hilarious.

Sprudel Baumkuchen Hammerteil Schnitzelding.

>>17961461
thanks.

-=-=-\=-=-=-=-=-

You aim the teapot in the monkey's general direction.

"Vernichtung!" you shout, still no idea what the hell these commands mean.
"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCK!" Mike dodges out of the way, the trees are obliterated in a clear swath as far as the barrier extends.

"Okay Mike, that's enough. You know i woudn't really blast you. I've not gotten any of my gold yet."

"Fuck you kid." he replies.

"Okay, now lets try BUNNYMODE."

>>17961582
>Schnitzelding
...Schnitzelthingy? Did they seriously use colloquial language in a scene with horrible German?

Wow, we just got our powers and already pissed off our mascot AND our device.
We are the asshole butler.

>>17961635
Our device was pissed off to begin with.
We have no idea why though

>>17961655
He wasn't pissed off. He was ferocious.
NOW he will be pissed.

"BUNNYMODE activate!" you command.
"OH FUCKING HELL." your Device says, "YOU HAVE GUTS KID."

You are suddenly enveloped in a blinding flash of light.
You feel your clothes change, you feel so much lighter.

"BUNNYMODE, ACTIVE. DEACTIVATION IN 60 SECONDS"

As the light clears you look down on your self and see...

i dont even know whats going onnnnnnn

>>17961730
A banana hammock and a giant bulge in your pants.

>>17961730
A pastiche of what appears to be a maid uniform. With a red frilly skirt, striped thigh-highs and and big red ribbon.

"I FUCKING TOLD YOU NOT TO DO IT." Kraus says on his new position on your head.

"W-what the hell is this?" You reach up and feel a pair of big fluffy bunny ears.
"FUCKING BUNNYMODE. THAT'S WHAT. A HIGH SPEED MODE THAT SACRIFICES PROTECTION FOR 3x MOBILITY." you can practically feel the hate with every word. "I DONT MIND SEEING MY USER DRESSED UP LIKE A SLUTTY MAID FROM A BAD DATING SIM, HELL I'D ACTUALLY ENJOY LAUGHING AT YOU. BUT THIS MODE FORCES ME TO TURN INTO FUCKING BUNNY EARS."

"FUCKING. BUNNY EARS. I WAS AN ELEGANT TEASET. FUCK."

You regret asking Mike about wearing the skirt when your first met earlier. Nevertheless, you decide to put BUNNYMODE through it's paces.

You run around like a blurr, throwing up dustclouds in your wake.
"So, what offensive capabilities do i have in this mode?" you ask Kraus hesitantly.

"JUST THE KNIVES, JUST THE FUCKING KNIVES."

>>17961849
I think our loud device is lying.

I say we test EVERYTHING.

>>17961873
You pull out some knives, you have no idea where from, and throw them around.

You try and summon a fork, but you cant get one, just more knives.


As you run around you hear Kraus say "BUNNYMODE DEACTIVATE, THANK GOB."

You find yourself standing there back in your butler uniform, Kraus once again taking the shape of a teaset.

"Are you done playing now?" Mike asks.

[ ]yes
[ ]no

>>17961955

yes.

>>17961849
Let's test the reaction time of your new usagimimi mode.

sure

lets space bitches

>>17961955
Yes.

"Yeah, I'm pretty much done."
"Cool, now let's pack it up and head down to CENTRAL for your initiation"

"CLEAN UP!" you command Kraus.
The barrier recedes, and you marvel as everything come back to normal.
The destroyed swath of trees are left untouched, the jungle gym is back to form. Even the tracks you left in the ground while running around are gone.

"Now put away your Device, and Armor. We're gonna jet."

"ALL SYSTEMS POWER DOWN." Kraus and your butler uniform dematerialize and you now hold your badge back in your hand.

You suddenly feel very very tired.
You keep consciousness long enough to hear Mike say, "Fuck, He drained himse-"
Before all fades to black.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Okay, 4am here, I am also barely keeping awake.
Im gonna crash, and i guess ill continue this in a few hours after a quick nap.

>>17962121
I wonder if we can drink energy drinks to help keep from draining ourselves too much.

>>17962178
Wouldn't it make more sense to drink tea?
From like an ornate flask or just a cup that refills itself every so often.

>>17962178
The MAJAIK training we'll be getting at the Bureau would help loads I bet.

We basically went fullbore with no training. We were destined to crash.

>>17962215
> ornate flask or just a cup that refills itself every so often

Another ability unlocked later perhaps?
A silver flask of cognac to restore us in the middle of battle?

>>17962241
Yeah, or we could receive it as a welcome gift after we complete our training or something.

>>17962241
We need a Time Stop ability activated by a silver pocketwatch.

>>17962283
It would have to be severely limited though so as to not be abused too much.
Maybe an add-on to BUNNYMODE?
For an ALICE IN WONDERLAND reference?

Although timestop+ 3x movespeed, would be recockulous

How about, every second we stop time strips 5 seconds off bunny mode.

We can stop time for a maximum of 12 seconds for starters.
We can expand that by expanding bunnymode
[Training I guess]

>implying bunny-mode is not the best thing ever

>>17962391
OP was a Hayate fag. I was expecting this all along.
Now we wait for the talking tigers and delicious combat mage.

Bump to keep this alive for OPs return

>>17962121
Not manly enough, get up Susan! You can still fight!

IM BACK. power nap was great.
will have to supplement this with some nicotine and caffeine.


>>17962241
>>17962270
>>17962341
>>17962283
I like how you guys think.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-


You open your eyes to see an unfamiliar ceiling.
Seems like someone tucked you into bed, though you're not quite sure where that bed is.

The last thing you remember was dropping like a rock after playing around with your new MAJAIKAL powers.

Getting up off the bed, you look around the small room. you see a closet to one side, a desk along a wall besides it.
A bookshelf containing stuff whose spines you cant read adorns another.

The bed itself is set under a decently sized window.

[ ] check Kraus
[ ] look out window
[ ] check closet
[ ] look in desk drawers
[ ] go out door

[X] Loot room

>>17963714
Yes to them all. In order of
[1 ] check Kraus
[2 ] look out window
[3 ] check closet
[4 ] look in desk drawers
[5 ] go out door

>>17963714
Get Kraus, loot the room, and kick open the door.
Then yet "Yo I'm hungry over 'ere!"

rolled 36 = 36

>>17963714
Pretty much this >>17963766

>>17963780
>>17963766

You take out your badge, the AI known as Kraus resides within it.
"Kraus, information mode."
"SUP FAGGOT." It cordially replies.
"Uh. Hey. So first things first. Where am I?" you ask, "Also, how long was I out?"

"YOU ARE IN THE DORMITORIES OF THE IDPKB'S TRAINING FACILITY, YOUR HANDLER, THAT FUCKING MONKEY, TELEPORTED US HERE WHEN YOU PASSED OUT LIKE A WUSS. SERIOUSLY? YOU JUST GET ALMOST ALL OF YOUR ENERGY DRAINED AND YOU PASS OUT THAT EASILY? I SWEAR THEY HAND OUT THESE BADGES TO THE NEAREST FAGGOT WITH ARMS."

YOu have no rebuke for that, for now.

"YOU WERE OUT LIKE AN OD'ED CRACKWHORE FOR 46 OF YOUR TIME UNITS KNOWN AS HOURS. AS YOU WERE OUT IN LALA LAND, I WAS FIGURING OUT WAYS TO MAKE YOU MANLIER OR TO KILL YOU TRYING."

"UNFORTUNATELY ALL OF MY PROCESSING PROWESS STILL WAS NOT ENOUGH TO EVEN BEGIN TRYING TO MAKE YOU MAN UP."

As your Device continues to rant, you look out the window.
Blue skies, white clouds, 2 suns. yep everything's norma- 2 SUNS?!
You cant even beginto imagine the effects on weather by such a setup.

You interrupt Kraus just long enough to say
"Okay I get what you mean, I guess i do need to shape up for this MAJAIKS business."

>>17963916
"Do I have to go into bunny mode again?"
Lets get shit started, find the monkey and start trainning.

>>17963916
Well it seems you're in this training thing for sure.
You walk up to the closet, curiosity taking the better of you.
you open it up to reveal several sets of what appear to be stylized uniforms. A dress shirt, a blazer and slacks complete the outfit.

Sewn from white fabric with details in gold, you guess they were classy enough.


Walking over to the desk you find basic writing supplies in its drawers.
And looking up at the bookshelf shows that all of the books there are printed in that moonrune language identical to the one on your badge.

"How the hell am i gonna train if I can't even read the literature?" you blurt out.

"IS THAT SUCH A PROBLEM, YOU WHINY FUCK? FINE, FINE, TRANSLATOR ACTIVE."

As if by magic [MAJAIKS] the moonrunes translate themselves into figures you can read
"A historical timeline of the IDPKB"
"MAJAIK CASTING FOR DUMMIES, COMBAT EDITION"
"Your Device and you."
"Mid-Childean formulaic majaiks"
You read off the titles one by one. Even if you can read them now, they still make little sense.

Bored of just sitting around you walk towards the door.
As your hand reaches out for the knob you hear Mike say: "I see our little princess is awake now. Fucking, finally. Get your ass in uniform and get down here to lessons room 124 immediately."

[ ] okay
[ ] time to style in that blazer
[ ] drink the potion

[x] Put on female uniform

>>17964045
>drink the potion

What?

>>17964045
Style the shit out of that Blazer. Tonight, Mahou Shounen /tg/, gets spacelaid.

>>17964072
>Girls Uniform
Yesss

>>17964072
>>17964161
Why?

>>17964045
Just put on the normal uniform and go to the class.

>>17964206
I have a plan. One that will make us rich.

>>17964227
Care to explane?

>>17964245
Its so smart that if I even began to think about it my head would explode from the sheer smartness of the plan.

>>17964262
You just like guys in girls clothing don't you.

>>17964283
No, we like the alien feeling of wearing girl clothes.
I'm not a fan of traps.

>>17964283
Alright so like we show up in the girls uniform, roll a bluff/disguise check. If we pass we act all cutsey for a while, and naturally we'll be approached. Then using a charisma check we offer to let them say that they had sex with us for two months salary. Rinse and repeat.

So I guess we wear the blazer and head to class.

Then we chug that potion. Nothing will go wrong.

>>17964072
>>17964045
As you grab the prescribed uniform out ofthe closet you notice a female variant behind all of the others.
A cute skirt, a white top and blazer and a golden bow.
You are slightly tempted to see how you might look in it, but you are stopped from further thoughts when Kraus yells from the desk, "DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE."

You put on the slack, the dress shirt, tie on the nifty gold and black tie and finish it all up with the blazer.

Staring at the you from the reflection in the mirror behind the closet's door is PERFECTION.

You slip Kraus into the inner pocket of the blazer and walk out of the door. The now readable moonrune signs leading you to where you need to go.

Finding room 124 was a cinch after you exit the dorms and head into the main building.

As the doors open wide to allow you in, you hear Mike say "Glad you can join us Susan. Now go take a seat so we can all start."

Looking up at mike you are surprised to see a fucking silver-back gorilla dressed in what you can approximate to be a police trooper's uniform staring right at you from behind a podium.

HOLYSHIT. MIKE GREW SINCE I LAST SAW HIM.
And WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT HE'S HOLDING?!

***BEST ROLL OF THE FIRST FIVE 1d100***
describe Mike's Device.

>>17964341
I'm not sure how the girls clothes are necessary to that plan. (or even how it's a good plan)

>>17964334
But it's not you who is wearing the girls clothes.

>>17964391
damn shouldave used this image.

rolled 5 = 5

>>17964391
a pimp cane with a ruby at the end, the ruby radiates heat and ocassionally sparks fly off of it.

rolled 78 = 78

>>17964391
A cane. I is made of black alder and has a silver handed in the shape of a wolfs head.

rolled 34 = 34

>>17964440
>>17964442
A black alder pimp cane with a silver wolf's head handle, and a ruby at the other end which radiates heat and sparks.

rolled 85 = 85

A fire extinguisher
name DOMINGO

>>17964391
Gunclub. Gorilla Sized.

>>17964442
Looks like pic

rolled 95 = 95

>>17964477
Forgot my roll.

rolled 96 = 96

>>17964460
this except the wolves eyes are rubies that radiate heat and sparks.

rolled 72 = 72

>>17964490
And it's really a sword cane. (but we would not know that from just seeing it)

rolled 6 = 6

Voting for Pimp Cane sword.

rolled 38 = 38

>>17964490
>>17964521
>>17964485
>>17964485
>>17964460
>>17964442
>>17964440
Majority rules, we want a pimp cane.

>>17964534
Sorry, but first 5 suggestions, highest roll, and double double dubs challenges your swordcane.

>>17964477
>>17964488

>>17964596
I will accept double dubs.

>>17964534
Majority doesn't matter, since our name is Susan.

>>17964596
Fucking rules lawyers.

>>17964624
>>17964618
Questocracy at its finest!

He's holding a fucking badass cane, it depicts a wolf. the wolf menaces with eyes of ruby.
You watch as some sparks fly out of the eyes.
On the shalf of the cane you see what appears to be an olde timey flintlock mechanism [wtf].

"Holyshit Mike, you got huge!" you exclaim.
"Why thank you Captain Obvious, truthfully that petite form was just an avatar I used to project myself on your plane. I had to do the same thing on 15 other Dimensional points simultaneously. So i had to conserve my energy." He explains further.

Now sit down in that empty seat so we can get this rolling.

He points at an empty desk by the window, on the second to the last row.
On your right would be a cute girl with Brown hair, and glasses, and holding what appears to be a PSP.

Seated behind you is some shorthaired dude with a clueless, intense look on his face, an ornate sword leaning against his seat back.
And in front of you is a petite girl of about 12, with wing shaped hairclips and a magic wand shaped like a deformed bird's head sticking out of the bag on the floor by her desk.

As you sit down, feeling every eye on the class fall on you, the girl to your right leans in and says:
"Didn't drink that potion huh? Wish I made that decision."

wat do?
majority rule this time

>>17964720
"What did the potion do?"

>>17964720
Ask what we're doing in this shithole of a class and when we start rolling in bitches.

>>17964720
Make moves on girl to our right.

Ask her what did the potion do?

>>17964778
Probably genderswap.

>>17964778
Seconding, with "I've made it a policy to not stick strange things into mouth where magic is involved ."

This thread, heh. It's hilarious. Glad I stopped by to read it...

Also, yes, what does the potion do?

>>17964795
>>17964778
That girl is a guy.
Its Keima from KAMINOMI

Im guessing guy behind him is Shirou
And the girl in front would be Sakura

Ask her what the potion did, then make advance.
If she was originally male, we should feel even more motivated.

>>17964814
>>17964795
Ask what the potion did before making moves.

If she was a he before the potion don't make any moves.

>>17964831
Thats what i was thinking. I like my penis.
Ask her what the potion did and if genderswap yell at the monkey man.

rolled 36 = 36

>>17964814
I'd like to know what the potion did also

Fuck that bitch.
Fuck her again if she was originally male.

Ask our device what he would've done had we drunk that potion.

>>17964841
way to spoil it.
and yes, you got all three dead-on.

>ask what potion did

You ask her what the potion did to her, but before you can answer, Mike speaks.

"Now I'm sure some of you here arent exactly the right biological sex right now. If you are, then congratulations, youre a moron. Drinking an unknown substance is a stupid stupid move, and for that you get 3 Guptas deducted from this week's pay." He continues. "Now all of you not in thier original genders please stand up so that the rest of the class may point and laugh at you"

The 'girl' beside you defiantly stands up, and looks straight ahead like a sentinel.

"Now for you that didnt touch the potion, you will be deducted 5 Guptas for not being curious. Curiosity will be one of the traits we wish to foster here at training to aid you on you field duties."

The whole class makes a move to complain, but Mike cuts them off. "SHUTUP."

Memo to self:
We NEED to try out that potion. It will be a valuable experience.

>>17964996
Why do I get the feeling that everything we do will garner us a pay deduction, so that in the end we all work for free.

>>17964996
Fuckyea still got my cock, ask whats with the fabulous staff

>>17964996
I'd say something, but technically he's our boss, the that determines if we get paid or not.
Also, he's a silverback gorilla with a fucking gun-sword-pimp-magic cane.
Let's sit down and shut up.

"You told me about fucking bitches. When will I get my bitches?"

>>17965053
Why are you in such a hurry to turn into a girl?
Do you want to get fucked and live out your trap fantasies that badly?

>>17965106
You don't seem to realize where you are.

rolled 25 = 25

Offer to collect and relieve the other students of their potions and save them for later. Getting spacelaid may depend on it.

>>17965079
This. So this.

"Since I personally recruited only a handful of you, I am still unknown to most of the class." Mike goes on.
"I am Miguel Rozario SantaCruz Y Cabrillo, I shall be your class' adviser and your instructor in General Majaiks application." He points raises his cane slightly and adds "This is Domingo, my personal device. Domingo and I have done 2345 cycles of service with the force."
The wolf's mouth on the cane opens up and a suave voice flows from it, "Buenos dias"

"I see some of you here already have their devices in active mode, and there's no rule against that here. But I must remind you that we have put the ability for them to go into stand-by for a reason. Those of you now with thier devices still in thier badges get a bonus of 2 Guptas at the end of the week from me." you inwardly rejoice at this, "Now i ask you to all please activate both your Device and Armor and introduce yourself here on the podium."

= Charisma check for class introduction =
**** BEST OF FIRST 5 1D100 ROLLS ****

rolled 48 = 48

Drink the potion to show how boss you are.

rolled 93 = 93

I am susan, your new god.

rolled 93 = 93

>>17965258
I'm sure I'll love whatever our angry little companion says.

rolled 44 = 44

"I'm here to find bitches, fuck bitches and serve bitches tea.
*Pointing at Keima*
I want to begin with you."

rolled 7 = 7

"I am the god emperor. Bitches, proceed to suck my dick."

rolled 2739 = 2739

>

rolled 26 = 26

>>17965258
Name's Kamijou, and Mike your translator needs work.

rolled 23 = 23

>>17965258
Power on your suit, summon your flying saucer and float above the class. Then announce, "I am Susan, and for reasons I will not disclose, I have joined the Force to master the ancient and mysterious art of Butlery! With Kraus at my side I will serve justice and order to the universe like a fine cup of earl gray and a buttery scone."

"Also. I'm single."

rolled 15 = 15

"Hello, I'm Susan and this is my pimpin' teaset.
Any bitches please form a line. I will personally inspect every single one of you."

rolled 61 = 61

I'm Susan. This is Kraus. We serve tea. Any questions? No? Good. Tea at my room after class, if anyone cares to join us.

The introductions go swimingly along you see lots of people with weapons for devices, but others have quite unique choices.
amongst them: A PSP, A guitar with what appears to be a chainsaw engine on it, a fancy belt, and your teaset.

You watch as the little girl in front of you stands up front and introduces herself.

"I'm Sakura from the CLAMP Dimension. This is my Device, Clow. I WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH ALL OF YOU, YAY!" her overly frilly dress bouncing around as she shakes herself into convulsions of giddiness.

You begin to imagine if that's how you looked like in BUNNYMODE.

The guy with the belt just stands there and says "TOH!" before doing a bunch of karate poses in a weird leathersuit+helmet combo.
Is he supposed to be some kind of grasshopper?

The guy behind you stands up way before his turn and blurts through his introduction to the class. "I'm Shirou, I like swords, do you like swords? This is Excalibur, hes a sword"

now the girl beside you is up at the podium introducing "herself"

rolled 63 = 63

>>17965415
Grasshopper guy shall be your best bro. Every hero needs a best bro.

>>17965415
Tell giddy girl that we will be her friend. Yandere?

>>17965415

Drink the potion to try and support the "girl" as to gain points with her and be able to star a romance sub-plot quest with her in the future.

>>17965415
'She' stands there, the cold beauty that 'she' is.

"Hello. I am Katsuragi Keima, as you may have learned earlier, I am actually a guy. This is my device, Elsie." He holds up the PSP for the class and a chibi girl in weird clothes appears on the screen "HI! EVERYONE! I'M ELSIE! I LIKE FIRETRUCKS!" and the screen dissolves to a looping video of a firetruck going by with lights and sirens blazing.

Now it's your turn

*** BEST ROLL OF FIRST 5 1D100 ***
waht does Kraus say to the class?

rolled 47 = 47

Becoming the little girl will make us a better lover.
But first we need to gain experience as man.

We need to make a rousing speech to get bitches wet.

rolled 46 = 46

"This pussy is a butler out to become a man.
Bitches come to our room after this meeting. This guy needs to learn a thing or two."

rolled 65 = 65

>>17965568
I'm Kraus. I'm a goddamn teaset, no questions asked. This is Susan, he is a goddamn butler in training. We'll be serving tea after class."

rolled 17 = 17

>>17965390
This one

rolled 95 = 95

>>17965568
I already said T-T
>>17965294

rerolling for "I am Susan, your new god."

>>17965610
Helps if you don't noko your rolls, so we can tell what kind of dice you're actually putting in.

>>17965610
Also transform into butler mode.

>>17965610
God Damn it.

>>17965610
I'm not sure if this is legit.
Could be a cheater.

>>17965610

WIN

>>17965631
Sure thing, i'll keep the noko off hence fourth
>>17965653
I personally much prefer >>17965601 at anyrate.

You walk up to the podium, teaset in hand.

You stand there and stare down the class for a good 15 seconds for effect.

"I AM SUSAN, YOUR NEW GOD." you say, "And this is my partner"

Kraus now goes up to bat.
"I AM KRAUS, THE MOST ELE-FUCKING-GANT TEASET YOU WILL EVER HAVE THE PLEASURE OF DRINKING FROM. THIS PUSSY HOLDING ME IS A MAJAIK BUTLER-IN TRAINING. WHEN THIS IS ALL OVER WE SHALL HAVE ALL OF THE BITCHES."

You hold back your smile when you see the effect that Klaus' statement has on the class.

"We shall be serving tea in my room after classes are over." you add.

rolled 48 = 48

>>17965568
Retards don't know how to read.

Kraus says
"I'M KRAUS AND I'M HERE TO HELP THIS SISSY MOTHERFUCKER MASTER THE BUTLING ARTS! HE LIKES TO WEAR FRILLY SKIRTS AND PRETEND TO BE A LITTLE GIRL."

>>17965692
Now that we've asserted our dominance, its only a matter of time until we run a successful coup against our handler, also initate harem plan.

>>17965692

Somehow force Kraus to drink the potion so that he stops annoying you with all that "MANLY THIS MANLY THAT, PUSSY THIS PUSSY THAT" Bullshit.

>>17965775
Wait... pour the potion in the tea, and serve it to everyone who is male. Yes... this will work.

>>17965815
You, sir, are a genius.

>>17965827
>>17965815
Bad idea. Saying nothing of TGing some one against their will, they will instantly know that it was in their tea a exact bloody vengeance.

>>17965827
>>17965815

Greatest. Harem Making plan.
EVER

>>17965867
Your right! Pour the potion in the teapot, then wash it out.

>>17965882
What? That does not help with the problem of them exacting bloody vengeance after they drink our tea.

Class goes on after introduction, With Mike discussing the basic history of the Bureau. He also talks about the Duties of a Peacekeeper.

Mostly boring shit.
You spend most of the time checking out the Girls in the class.

Legolas! What do your elf eyes see?
**** Roll 1d100, if it's over 50 the girl you describe gets written into the quest ****
*Max of 5 girls for now*

rolled 71 = 71

>>17965946
Purple eyes, black hair, cheerful, holding a cup of ramen. Also, their taking the Hobbits to Isengard.

>>17965946
mothafuckin Ennis

rolled 90 = 90

>>17965946
A three eyed amazon with a luscious mane of raven black hair. Her demeanor is stern and serious, though she wears her uniform very casually with the top few buttons undone. It appears her device is some sort of spear or polearm.

>>17965996
Balls'd that up

rolled 68 = 68

>>17966012
fuuuuu

rolled 22 = 22

>>17965941
NOT IF WE USE OUR BUTLER CHARM, AND THEIR TEMPORARY FEMALE HORMONES TO FALL FOR US.

For Christ's sake. that Keima guy comes with his own harem.

We get him, and we're solid.

>>17965946
I see a lady with a fuck aswesome tatoo on one arm, wielding 2 pistols.
She's wearing short shorts, combat boots, and a black top

>>17965998 Ramen chick
>>17965990 Amazon spear chick

>>17966027I'll let that slide

>>17966138
For I am a lazy person, I just grabbed the one out of your picture that seemed interesting to me. Also, links are mixed up. No big there though.

rolled 55 = 55

BUmp. SWQ drowning this one. lol
[hell, even I'm there]

Self rolling.
<We see HER

>>17966349
Wow op you put mine to shame... so fuckyea our harem has gained epic points.

rolled 76 = 76

>>17965946

Your elf eyes stumble upon a fine sight of completely magnificent beauty, as you walked forward to introduce yourself to such a fine prospect bitch your harem You incidentally Discover that you were glancing into a reflective Surface

rolled 86 = 86

>>17966457

Bitch for*

/Typo

>>17966484

Derp. Omit that roll.
Cool double-Fail bro

>>17966349 erica hartmann
>>17966457 ourself? [achievable with MAJAIKS in the long run]


As time passes and we begin to get bored even jsut checking out the babes in our class, you hear the bell for lunch sound.

*DING DONG DANG DONG*
*DING DONG DANG DONG*

Mike says something completely unexpected.
"Since this is the first day here for most of you, im giving you the rest of the day off."

"In addition, i have preloaded 5guptas into your badges so you may acquire some personal supplies in town"

"For those of you stuck in the wrong gender, the potion's effect will wear off by sundown. So don't fret too much."

He finishes with, "Now get out of here before i change my mind, and get you to memorize all the 1353 Subroutines of a type5 Teleportation spell."

You rejoice! half a day off, that means half a day of doing whatever the fuck you want.

FREE TIME!
[ ] go to room do ____________
[ ] go to town do ____________
[ ] talk to _________

>>17966562
Go to room, study subroutines. Also look into permanent gender bending potion.

>>17966562
Go to town, purchase various types of tea.

>>17966562
[x] go to room to serve tea.

We said we're serving tea, and by god, we will serve tea. Then we snag somebody to go to town with us.

Ah, man. I don't do much with thinking on the spot!

Anyways, this chick?

She's clearly got some interesting ideas as to how this weapon thing works...

>>17966624
admittedly the force applied to an arrow on firing is derived from the tension on the bow itself, not the string... but still, chain?

>>17966562
[X] go to room serve tea, read up on magic.

This is our chance to not only score with interdimensional chicks, but get paid to do it. Don't screw up while we're just in training.

>>17966647
I dunno man, it just looked cool.

I have to respect anyone who uses polearms as arrows.

rolled 54 = 54

>>17966623
Seconding this. Casually mention that you and Kraus are off to your room to prepare some tea and await your guests.

>>17966709
We are men, and men stay true to their words.

>>17966562
As the class files out of the room, you sand on your chair and say, "Once again, I invite all of you to partake in tea with me in my room." You're not sure how you'll fit the class in there, but by gob you'll do it.

"Just head into the dorms and let the smell of tea and scones lead you to your destination."

You walk brsikly ahead of the class, not looking back.

YOu take out Kraus and ask him, "you can serve normal tea right?"
"YOU BET YOUR ASS I CAN, AND IT WONT BE 'NORMAL' TEA. FUCK THAT SHIT. IT'LL BE THE BEST TEA TESE PLEBS HAVE EVER TASTED."

"Well how about scones? biscuits >?"

"BITCH PLEASE. I HAVE IN MY DATABASE THE MOST COMPLETE SELECTION OF DELICIOUS TEACAKES AND OTHER GOODIES TO SERVE WITH ANY TEA, TO ANYONE."

"JUST GET US TO THE FUCKING ROOM AND START SETTING UP"

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

TEA TIME MOTHER FUCKERS.

****first 5 1d100 roll****
Determines who comes in.
Roll score will determine arrival order
Lowest to highest

rolled 21 = 21

>>17966779
And soon we may be a girl and girls love tea parties.

rolled 98 = 98

>>17966814
Erica

rolled 49 = 49

>>17966814
The Kamen Rider guy comes in. It turns out that allies of justice really fucking like tea. Who knew?

rolled 59 = 59

>>17966814
Why not have Keima come too, keep things interesting, eh?

rolled 44 = 44

>>17966814
Sakura

Every harem needs a bubbly one.

rolled 21 = 21

>>17966814
Amazon Spear girl. She has never tasted tea before.

Im loving how my mahou shounen quest turned into THE ADVENTURES OF THE DAPPER BUTLER OFF TO SERVE TEA AND GET THE BITCHES

or maybe it's just the lack of sleep. idk

>>17966985
No, that's pretty much exactly what's happening.

>>17966985
Nah. This is a pretty fantastic quest thread. Sleep deprivation is only helping.

The only thing bothering me is that we're named Susan.
Maybe our father named us that in order to toughen us up?

>>17967031
Susan is a man's name and we're a man!

rolled 60 = 60

>>17966985
I'm just glad you rolled with it. This quickly turned into one of the most fun quests on /tg/ right now.

>>17967031
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVTW_-C014o

>>17966985
Man, this is highly amusing. Good on ya.

>>17966958
As you finish up laying out cups and pastries, someone comes sniffing into the room.

There she is. The wild beauty you've been eyeing earlier.

She walks over to the table [conveniently materialized by Kraus, along with all the extra cups/plates] and ogles a plate of danishes.

"May I offer you a bite to eat and a spot of tea my lady?"
She nods an affirmative, drool slightly dripping out of the corner of her mouth

As you set her a cup and pour her a cup of what seems to be jasmine tea from the scent of it, you strike up some small chat.

"Hi, Im Susan, you are?"
"Me, Amazoness. This be Stick" she says eyeing you as you set a couple of danishes on a plate for her.

An amazon named Amazoness, creative.
Oh and her Device is named Stick. Well atleast she keeps it simple.

rolled 21 = 21

>>17967177
SHE WILL BE FUCKED BY US BEFORE THE NIGHT IS OUT.

>>17967226
I DON'T KNOW MAN. SHE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE ALL THERE MENTALLY. WOULDN'T THAT BE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HER CONDITION OR SOMETHING? WE'RE A FUCKING GENTLEMAN. WE CAN'T DO THAT.

>>17967269
ALSO YOU JUST KNOW SHE'S GOT LIKE SUPERHUMAN STRENGTH OR SOMETHING

I DON'T KNOW IF OUR BODY CAN TAKE IT

rolled 89 = 89

>>17967269
AGREED. WE SHOULD TURN HER INTO A PROPER LADY FIRST.

OR AT LEAST WAIT UNTIL WE SEE WHAT SHES ABOUT.
ALSO STOP yelling all the time, Kraus is growing on us.

rolled 80 = 80

>>17967269
MAN, ARE YOU SAYING THAT JUST BECAUSE SHE'S A LITTLE BIT SLOW AND UNCULTURED THAT SHE DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE GRACED BY OUR COCK? THAT IS JUST MEAN. SO RUDE.
>>17967292
SUPERTIGHT. HELL YES.

>>17967177
She tears into the pastries like a madman [woman?]
And gulps down the tea like it was the elixer of the gods.
She holds out both cup and and plate and simply states "MOAR."

My, my. We shall have to teach this little lady some manners.

You move mover around the table to stand beside her.

Lower her cup and plate gently, but with still enough force to get the message through.
"We say "I would like seconds please, thank you"."

she sheepishly looks up at you and murmurs, "Mewantmorepleasethankyou"

As a butler you must never fail a request, so you immediately serve her oncemore.

She looks at the food on the plate, perhaps pondering what to do next.
"You eat it slowly to savor it, and drink the tea in sips to enjoy it fully"

She does so, and once she sips her tea like a properlady you see a nice bright smile showing behind the rim of the cup.

>>17967365
>She does so, and once she sips her tea like a properlady you see a nice bright smile showing behind the rim of the cup.
We'll make a lady of her yet!

I fukken love this, man. Seriously, well done.

rolled 71 = 71

>>17967365
OH YEAH. WE ARE ROCKING HER MANNERS AND HER MOUTH. SOON, HER BODY.

>>17967365
HNNNNNG

>>17967401
LET'S NOT GET AHEAD OF OURSELVES. REMEMBER THAT WE'RE A FUCKING GENTLEMAN.

rolled 78 = 78

>>17967466
EMPHASIS ON FUCKING. SERIOUSLY, INTERDIMENSIONAL PUSSY WAS LITERALLY THE REASON WE SIGNED ON TO THIS GIG. THE BUTLER THING IS JUST AN AESTHETIC THAT WE'RE FOND OF.

>>17967365
That's cute. I like that. Continue.

>>17967365
Maybe now we should show her how to add a lump of sugar to tea.
But no milk. Milk is for the working class. We shall train her to be a lady of worth and standing.

>>17967466
A grand idea! Let us offer the gender potion to Amazon and take a drink of it ourselves so Amazon may fuck us like a gentleman!

(Oh god, what have I become?!)

>>17967365
As she finishes her tea, she stands up and gives you her gratitude.
"Susan thank you for yummy food and drink, me want to come back again."

"You are welcome back in my room anytime my lady." 'and maybe next time it wont jsut be tea we'll be having together' you add in thought.

She glides out the door looking satisfied.

As she disappears around the corner to places unknown you hear the sounds of heavy boots on the floor, progressively making their way towards you.

"OH WE HAVE OURSELVES OUR NEXT CUSTOMER." Kraus chimes from his place on the table.

When you turn around to face Kraus, you are surprised that the setting has been instantly changed to a Japanese tea set. complete with tatami mats, and low cushions.

As the boots near your door you once again turn to face your next guest.

"TOH!"

rolled 84 = 84

>>17967537
WE WILL SERVE MR.GRASSHOPPER WITH A CALM, RESERVED DIGNITY. ALSO POSING.

Offer Bro Rider a gentlemanly fistbump.

>>17967537
Let us serve Kamen Rider tea.
Green tea, and the real stuff too, not the bastardized stuff they serve in America.

>>17967629
But can we be make it properly? God Butler can, you fucking know it.

Archive this thread. It must be done

>>17967580
TEA-KATA?
TEA-KATA.
[hohooooooo puns, them japaneses love them puns]

"Welcome my friend, May i offer you some matcha and anmitsu?"

He unlatches his helmet, and the handsome face underneath quite surprises you.
"That would be most welcome Susan-san."

He sits in seiza at the other end of the setting ,and you take your place as the server.

You serve him with as much elegance and grace as you can, Kraus amiably keeps silent during all of this.

After you finish serving him tea, He then does the same for you. Kraus in his transmogrified japanese form takes no qualms about being handled by someone else.
And the ceremony progresses without a hitch.

After you clear the setting, Kraus whispers in your mind quite loudly. "NOW IT'S TIME FOR FUCKING CALLIGRAPHY. GOOD LUCK KID." As he produces some sheaves of paper, brushes, and inkstones for the both of you.

**** ROLL FOR CALLIGRAPHY SKILLS ****
***HIGHEST OF the first 5 1d100***

ALSO WHAT THE FUCK DO WE WRITE?

-sorry if i type as slow as a fatguy on a hot day.
[it's pretty hot here, and I am pretty huge]

rolled 3 = 3

>>17967775
TEA IS LIFE

>>17967775
Lets do this, EPIC PEN TIME

rolled 55 = 55

>>17967775
TEA AND HONOR

rolled 64 = 64

>>17967775
Obviously, we should only write one thing:

JUSTICE.

rolled 6 = 6

>>17967775
"Bitches and whores"

rolled 4 = 4

Why do i keep putting roll

rolled 1 = 1

>>17967775
OH GOD CALLIGRAPHING. I DUNNO, A DOG OR SOMETHING? A SHINTO SHRINE SYMBOL, JAPANESE PEOPLE LIKE THAT KIND OF SHIT, RIGHT?

If we fail ask him if he can teach us how to improve our calligraphy

Keep it up OP these hours have been amazing!

>>17967805
We summon all the artistry and grace we have, and manage to effectively write down JUSTICE.
Powerful strokes, and firm swipes form the word in our new friend's native script.

"I hope you find this acceptable, kind sir."
You say as you show him your work.
he bows to you and says in return
"Tis been an honor and a pleasure to have had tea, and to have matched brush stroke with you."
He continues, "I wish that we may exchange our works this time in commemoration of this event."

In a deep boy, he pushes his work towards you, The blunt effective lines, the bold strokes spell out FRIENDSHIP.

You return his deep bow.
He stands up, snaps his helmet back on and bows once more.
he walks out the door with your calligraphy in hand like it was some sacred relic, and you are left there to look upon the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

rolled 28 = 28

>>17968009
FRAME THAT SHIT AND PUT IT UP ON THE WALL.

>>17968009
Let's see about getting the scroll hung on the wall somewhere.

>>17968009
FRAME THAT SHIT. FUCK YEAH FRIENDSHIP.

>>17968009
Frame those motherfuckers, if we have justice on our side and friendship in our heart we will never fucking lose!

>>17968009
*in a deep bow.

lol

FUCKYEAR RIDER BRO.
WE CAN NOW TOH! OUR WAY THROUGH ALL THE BITCHES

*personal ability unlocked*
ART.

sakura time? sakura time.

Also, fuck i messed up the order. sakura shouldave come before kamenrider
welp its not gonna affect things much for now

Maximum bro achieved.

rolled 8 = 8

>>17968134
TIME FOR A MOTHERFUCKING GIRLY TEA PARTY. LET'S GET OUR FLOWER-PRINT CHINA ON.

rolled 91 = 91

Ahh yeah plastic pink teaset and teddie bears!

>>17968134
Kitten shaped saucers and bunny sugar cubes.

>>17968190
Did someone say bunny? Im pretty sure someone did.

>>17968134
This set :)

rolled 90 = 90

>>17968134
Time to drink that potion so Sakura will feel more comfortable having a tea party with us!

rolled 40 = 40

>>17968238
Well, you heard those dice!

rolled 40 = 40

>>17968238
Oh goddammit I hate you.

rolled 87 = 87

>>17968238
I have one caveat, if we go girl we are going to wear an old school classy uniform, none of that modern fetish stuff, Victorian Era.

are we autosagin? im not sure.
test bump

Also, im almost out of cigs. FFFFFFFFFFFFF

>>17968336
We've been autosaging for the past ~50 posts brah.

>>17968336
SMOKING KILLS. AT LEAST SMOKE CIGARS SO YOU CAN BE A POMPOUS ASSHOLE ABOUT IT.

>>17968336
Oh yes, we've been autosaging for a while now.

>>17968351
welp anyway. WE SERVE ON!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
As you watch Kamenrider walk down the hall, his boots thumping to the sound of far drums you hear some giggling coming closer from the opposite direction.

"Oh Kraus, better switch that setting again, i her some giddy girls coming this way."
"WAY AHEAD OF YOU BRAH." Kraus seems to be enjoying all of this shit you think. You can hear it in his voice... His voice that seems to have come from the top of your head that time.

"OH-Shi-" You reach up and feel a pair of big fluffy bunny ears on your head. You look down and surprisingly enough find your regular butler uniform still there, with only the addition of a teddybear tucked into the pocket on your chest where a white hanky normally should be.

You look around your room and its now plastered in teddybears and hearts.
A nice petite table has been set in the middle of this diabeetus den loaded with cupcakes and cookies.

"PROVISIONAL BUNNYMODE, BITCH." he says.
"But i thought you hated BUNNYMO-"
"KRAUS WILL DO ANYTHING FOR A GUEST." He cuts you off.

>>17968605
>"KRAUS WILL DO ANYTHING FOR A GUEST."
Kraus.. You lassy motherfucker..

>>17968605
Alright, let's get this tea party started!
Extra cream and sugar!
Should we go with the strawberry shortcake, then?

rolled 80 = 80

>>17968605
We need to fist bump Kraus, I don't care that he is a tea set, we will fist bump him. With Kraus's help we will butle the ever living shit out of these girls and leave them wanting more.