Posting mode: Reply
Password(Password used for file deletion)
  • Supported file types are: GIF, JPG, PNG
  • Maximum file size allowed is 3072 KB.
  • Images greater than 250x250 pixels will be thumbnailed.
  • Read the rules and FAQ before posting.
  • ????????? - ??

  • File : 1329027232.jpg-(19 KB, 267x274, 1312681362385.jpg)
    19 KB Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:13 No.17907864  



    And when that time is nigh, be afraid. Be very afraid.

    Because when a GM has finally clutched that ever slippery pixie known as the state of preparedness, it is a time which marks the way forward from which the players never, ever will be again.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:18 No.17907948

    Now you must create a mushroom trade industry, and rules for growing and harvesting various mushroom crops. Good work, OP.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:18 No.17907958
         File1329027535.jpg-(17 KB, 214x314, Pete_Postalwait.jpg)
    17 KB
    Peter Postelwait could crush walnuts between his thumb and the knuckle of his forefinger.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:20 No.17907981
    I keep thinking one of the words in this sentence says 'testicle' and that makes me uncomfortable.
    >> Hank Pym !!A0/lWspso1i 02/12/12(Sun)01:21 No.17907993
         File1329027682.jpg-(107 KB, 381x366, most-impressive-darth-vader.jpg)
    107 KB
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:22 No.17908011
    >Hey guys i just discovered this new system and it would work great for a campaign in "recent film, TV or video game setting" what do you think?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:23 No.17908033
    If Pete Postelwait crushes your testicle it is only to crack away the shell revealing the new, shining testicle underneath. The testicle it was all along.

    Then he lights his cigar with a goddamn dragon.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:24 No.17908044
    If by prepared you mean come up with a map, a destination, and set your party loose without any other preparations and pull everything else out of your ass
    then yes
    i am always prepared
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:25 No.17908069
    I once had a nightmare in which Pete Postlethwaite and Bruce Spence chased me through a factory that made people.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:27 No.17908099
         File1329028041.jpg-(17 KB, 300x288, Sorghum.jpg)
    17 KB
    Mushrooms are for casuals. Sorghum is where it's at.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:29 No.17908132
    How did the factory work?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:29 No.17908139
    that wasn't a dream -- Pete Postlethwait and Bruce Spence are the guards at the people factory.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:29 No.17908145
         File1329028183.jpg-(40 KB, 400x400, kermit pc.jpg)
    40 KB
    >implying your world won't have a million contradictions
    >implying your world would have any depth
    >implying people wouldnt get bored after a week

    oh look you can make something up but if you dont prepare at least somewhat your world is shallow and contradictory.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:29 No.17908147
    >Implying that was a dream
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:30 No.17908162
    There will come a time when we, the GMs, finally get a chance to just be players for fucking once.

    I swear to fucking god I want to DMPC so badly at this point.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:31 No.17908175
    >it is a time which marks the way forward from which the players never, ever will be again

    ohh shit mothafucka
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:31 No.17908187
    I'm not even joking around here - I would let you fuck me on the basis of that comment you just made.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:32 No.17908200
    I'm not entirely clear. There were these things that looked like sausage grinders, and these giant tubes of brown stuff everywhere, and there were just sort of people in shipping crates stacked to the ceiling.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:34 No.17908244
         File1329028474.jpg-(9 KB, 300x198, Epic Feel.jpg)
    9 KB
    >finally get a chance to just be players for fucking once.

    So many feels right now
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:34 No.17908245
    What kind of jackass doesn't write stuff from the session down afterwards? The stuff in this session gets ruminated on and becomes the basis for stuff in the next session, and all of it is written down and codified so nothing gets contradicted.

    The PC's are exploring, and they find.... oh, shit, what sounds cool? A forest of giant mushrooms! Sure! And then, a month later, when they've all moved on, they help resolve a trade dispute in an economy based entirely around mushroom harvesting rights because they're both a building material and a food supply.

    Shit ain't hard bro.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:35 No.17908262
         File1329028539.png-(55 KB, 1500x1175, determined-challenge-accepted-(...).png)
    55 KB
    >Now you must create a mushroom trade industry, and rules for growing and harvesting various mushroom crops. Good work, OP.



    >Mushroom Trade & Agriculture Industry mechanics ARE GO


    PCs are the newly created upper management staff of a recently founded business which specializes in the growing, collecting, and sale of fungus and fungal products. The activities that can be engaged in with this kind of company (or guild, or Cosmocorp, depending on your genre, setting, and timeline) can be divided into three parts, as mentioned above.

    Spore Cultivation (Growth)
    Fungal Reclamation (Collection)
    Mushroom Sales (Retail)

    Spore Cultivation INCOMING
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:39 No.17908342
    Actually this would be a really cutthroat industry. There are entire cultures who subsist on farming mushrooms in D&D, and they're Underdark cultures. Your competitors in this business are Drow Noble Houses and Duergar Collective Farms. Quite frankly, the 'cutthroat' is literal.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:43 No.17908399

    MFW fighting off driders attempting to steal your caravan's precious cargo.

    Shitake... Worth more than gold.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:47 No.17908449
    Invisible Duergar assassins drop on your cargo crates and the Umber Hulks pulling them from above. Hook Horrors leap across the walls of the chasm you are travelling through, the crossbowmen mounted on them peppering your caravan with poisoned bolts.

    Are you a bad enough dude to save your mushrooms?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:49 No.17908480
    Spores huh? I do not want to farm mushrooms. Mushrooms are boring.

    I want to be a CORAL RANCHER.

    >derailed mothafucka
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:50 No.17908499
         File1329029418.jpg-(181 KB, 640x502, Myconid.jpg)
    181 KB
    The mushrooms you harvested were actually infant Myconid larvae! The evil mushroom men vow to lay siege to the city until you return their delicious, delicious children to them.

    What I'm saying is, I would totally play this.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:51 No.17908528
    >I want to be a CORAL RANCHER.
    Man, the D&D ocean is so incredibly fucking deadly. I don't think you really do. The ocean is basically the land, except all the good shit that partially keeps the bad shit in check is gone. It is an actual sea of evil.

    Even the coral is probably evil. Malevolent coral golems all chewing down on innocent water elementals and friendly merfolk.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:51 No.17908529
    so what you are telling me

    is that our mushroom harvesting company

    is being attacked

    by mushrooms
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:53 No.17908552
         File1329029596.jpg-(69 KB, 265x193, Ugluk.jpg)
    69 KB
    "Looks like mushroom's back on the menu, boys!"
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:54 No.17908578
    Actual coral is fucking terrifying, it doesn't need the help.

    Sometimes coral will get into turf wars with other kinds of coral. They will deploy their polyps all over each other and activate digestive enzymes and basically attempt to eat each other to death. The winner gets unchallenged growth space, and the loser gets to stand as a bone-white limestone monolith until the next typhoon knocks them both down.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:56 No.17908606
    Man, fuck that. Just imagine what Dungeons & fucking Dragons coral is then.

    >Oh yeah, this body of coral is actually a 25th level demilich. It's surrounded by polyps from the plane of negative energy. Roll for initiative.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:56 No.17908614
         File1329029799.jpg-(384 KB, 886x1252, pig soldier.jpg)
    384 KB
    Spore Cultivation

    Drawing inspiration from Dwarf Fortress, most mushrooms need a moist place to grow in. They particularly enjoy growing in places where organic matter has been decomposing, and light is minimal.

    As such, the Spore Collectors, Inc, will have two primary venues of cultivation for their chosen crop:

    Stationary Infestor Plants; where the mushrooms are cultivated in a controlled environment. These large, underground complexes have multiple cell blocks, each with independently controlled atmospheres, light sources and types, so that any common or uncommon fungus can be sown in the composting materials and degenerating biomatter deposited into the soil to feed the spores.

    Porcine Shock-troopers: Infestor Plants have trouble creating the unique environments for some of the rarer breeds of mushroom. What this means is they can provide a steady source of income, but their stationary nature makes them vulnerable to attack from business rivals, wildlife, and the occasional riot of environmental tree hugging green peace sign wielding protestors. To get the rare stuff, the kind of fungus that retailers go frantic for, the kind that sell for gold and jewels instead of silver coins, you'll want to call in the Porcine Shock-troopers. These are squads of genetically altered, uplifted and mutated truffle hogs. They're armed with flame weapons because their tasks often take them underground, where large bugs and spiders are more common than dust mites. They can look for more than just truffles these days. Their training, equipment, combined with the surprising aggressiveness with which they carry out their missions has earned them a nickname by the media. Baconators

    >> Hank Pym !!A0/lWspso1i 02/12/12(Sun)01:56 No.17908619
    >And then /tg/ made a homebrew setting of coral-dwelling PCs fighting other, foreign coral dwellers for glory and land.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:57 No.17908622
    Man I remember reading Elaine Cunningham's books about the drow girl, and her rival was a short kinda chubby drow with glasses who was a rothe farmer instead of being anything glamorous or exciting.

    And I remember thinking, goddamn, rothe farming would be interesting as hell. And when Dwarf Fortress got caverns I put rothe into the files and made a fortune farming those things and keeping them from getting eaten by cave trolls.
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 02/12/12(Sun)01:57 No.17908631
    Then say hello to POLYP COLLECTOR INC., the oceanic branch of SPORE COLLECTOR INC. We employ a number of seafaring races such as Octopodi, Deep Ones and Newts, and through our CSR program we have modernized their tribes.
    >inb4 you face union strikes from Deep Ones who want to devote more time to 'exercise their right to religion'
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)01:59 No.17908654
    More like:
    >your face when the whole market is controlled by Aboleths playing stock off against each other to bankrupt the surface world

    This is what is great about fantasy, and particularly why-the-fuck-not kitchen-sink fantasy like D&D. Anything, literally anything, can be an exciting and magical game.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)02:03 No.17908718
         File1329030213.png-(25 KB, 200x217, ROLL FOR INITIATIVE.png)
    25 KB
    >mfw I contact the alboleth trade union and get their god to come be my strike negotiator

    Anyway; coral is of the phylum Cnidaria, which it shares with jellyfish. The distinguishing characteristic of this phylum is not that they both divide by polyps. Ohh, no.

    It's that they attack prey by use of Cnidocytes, which are large cells in their tendrils that contain microscopic venomous harpoons they fire into their prey. Pic fucking related.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)02:04 No.17908733
    Imagine dire coral.

    No kidding you can churn out this stuff. That's pretty detailed for being spur of the moment.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)02:08 No.17908800
    I enjoy being able to follow the thought process that lead to this.

    >fungus, fungus, fungus. Truffles! Truffles are fungus! Truffles. Pigs! Dire pigs. Robot pigs? PIGMEN. Pigmen with... shit, it's wet and there's lots of biomass, pigmen with flamethrowers! PIGMEN with FLAMETHROWERS

    You get a flow like that going you know it's gonna be a good campaign-writin' night.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)02:20 No.17908994
    What other branches are there?
    >> Infestor Plants Levels 1-3 Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)02:22 No.17909027
         File1329031369.jpg-(154 KB, 640x480, 1111111111111.jpg)
    154 KB
    So it's great that you got a way to grow the mushrooms, or in the case of the Porcine Shock-troops, a way to sniff out locations which might have rare shrooms to pluck, but how are you going to collect it?

    In the case of the Infestor Plants, it's not that big a deal. There's a variety of different workforces that the PC executives can invest in for mushroom collection. We'll start with the cheapest and work our way up to the best and shiniest.

    Level 1: Indentured workers; are there any aboriginal peoples in the area where the Infestor Plant was built? Why not offer them promises of profit and contractual perks by having them work in your underground factory for pay that is severely reduced in comparison to most other workforces? (Don't tell them that though). IF you're lucky, the indentured workforce might actually be a race or set of domesticated creatures that naturally know a thing or two about mushroom collection or cultivation. Otherwise, this is a cheap stop gap measure until you can sink your cash into something better. The problem is they don't always respect facility hygiene protocols, and they have a tendency to get mutinous at times. Keep your pistol and some Baconators handy in case they start to rebel against your authority.

    Oh yeah, did I mention the Porcine Shock-Troopers can also be used as a security force? They're pretty damn loyal like that.

    Level 2: Skilled workforce; more reliable, more educated, more expensive. If you went with this first, then you don't have the problems associated with the Indentured workers. Best keep them happy because they might unionize, and then you'd have to deal with a strike and negotiations and... well, that's just not good for business.

    NEXT: LEVELS 3-5
    >> Infestor Plants levels 3-5 Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)02:24 No.17909043
         File1329031459.jpg-(54 KB, 600x292, 689_stream.jpg)
    54 KB
    Level 3: Skilled workforce with specialist support; Same as Level 2, but now you've got some Mycologists supporting the workers. If you give the Mycologists a lab space, they could even do research for you on how to increase production and growth efficiency. Alternatively, you could give them some access to the rare fungal stores. Who knows what secrets wait to be unlocked in the spores brought back by your troopers.

    Level 4: Reduced skilled workforce, greater Specialist support, minimal robotic/golem assistance. The Infestor Plant is now more of a laboratory with an attached farm. It should be mentioned that now that you have more scientists working in the facility than the volume of your labour workforce ... well. You know how scientists can be. They think they've found the cure for some untreatable disease one minute, the next minute your looking at a report about a quarantine breach in the Class 3 Ranked Isolation Wing while shuffling through your desk for your insurance forms, hoping to whatever god you pray to that you took the 'Fungal-Zombie worker' option for the facility's insurance policy...

    Level 5: As above, but at this stage, you've got more robotic assistance, primarily for the new Class 4 Isolation wing that has the stuff which is even more deadly than what they keep in the Class 3 Wing. You don't know what your scientists do there, the only thing you know is that anyone working in there has to sign no-fault writs of assent to you and the other executives before they go in. At least three quarters of the personnel that go into the Class 4 wing don't come out.

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)02:25 No.17909058
    >Ask for silly campaign idea
    >Get Rifts
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 02/12/12(Sun)02:26 No.17909075
    Well, there's the PINECONE COLLECTOR INC., our forest branch, and then there's SUCCUBUS SERVICES INC. which is actually a quasi-legal operations of ours. But they do harvest some of the more... exotic materials as well.
    >> PORCINE TRUFFLETROOPERS Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)02:41 No.17909286
         File1329032480.jpg-(28 KB, 600x399, DarkLurking.jpg)
    28 KB
    Unlike the Infestor Plants, the Porcine Shock-Troopers (A.K.A Truffletroopers, A.K.A Baconators) don't have 'levels'. They start with all the training they need, and their basic equipment is nothing to snort at.

    We got them some of that fancy new dragon scale kevlar armor, and gave them the LANDWARRIOR system that one country decided it was not going to use. Their standard armament is a customized M2 Browning Machine Gun. Yeah, you read that right. The .50 cal. We tried giving them the Assault Rifles, but they kept breaking them. Same goes for the S.A.W. They kept complaining the weapons were too small.

    Their version of the M2 BMG has a backpack ammo feed with multiple ammunition types. Armour piercing, incendiary, and explosive are standard. The backpack also has a small tank of napalm hooked into a pilot light and pump nozzle on the M2 BMG by way of a tube. Yes, they pack quite a lot of heat, but they tend to need it for the places they spelunk in.


    Collection: Doing what they do best. Give them a helicopter and tell them to fuck off somewhere. They'll disappear for a few weeks and come back with some real jewels for us to sell off. Sometimes they even come back with salvage. All kinds of things you can find in the underdark.

    Guard Duty: Not what they're best at, but if we have an Infestor Plant that's been having trouble with its workers, you can put them in there to keep the peace or crack a few heads. Or do both. Depends on what they feel like doing.

    Corporate Sabotage: Sometimes our competition likes to roughhouse a little. For those times when we're tested, we can ask our Truffletroopers to muscle on in, say hello, and cook a little bacon to bring back home. Sometimes they don't burn EVERYTHING down, and we can actually hire on a third party to do some salvaging for us, make a tidy profit off of the piggy mayhem.
    >> MUSHROOM SALES Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)02:51 No.17909411
         File1329033082.jpg-(25 KB, 628x421, screaming computer user.jpg)
    25 KB
    Time to sell all those mushrooms we've been gathering up, but where and who do we sell all this stuff to? Well, depends on what you're trying to sell of course.

    Everything we make pretty much goes to the same department: Marketing. They're the ones who decide who gets what and what goes where.

    They tend to sell off anything edible (Re: that doesn't mean its tasty) to any retailer willing to pick it up. Had a talk with one of those marketing jerks once. You know what he said to me? People will eat anything with a smile if you artificially inflate the price and convince them its a premium product, even if it tastes like shit no matter what you do.

    The interesting sales we make come from patent renting of the medical, chemical, and biological discoveries being made by scientists in our Class 3 and 4 Infestor Facility Wings. Every now and then someone finds another cure for the common cold, and pharmaceutical companies pay us millions to not sell it to the public. Hey, it keeps our profit in the black, our investors off our back, and your ass in the whore filled sack. Do you do crack? Maybe I should take that back before you give me a smack because all this rhyming is really - WHACK - OW I GET IT! God damn sorry boss, I spent a little time with our P.R and Advertising department... We hired on one of those beat boxing, rap slamming street illithid for our latest advertising campaign. You should check it out. It's money well spent I think.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)02:54 No.17909455
         File1329033270.jpg-(81 KB, 500x421, FATRAGE.jpg)
    81 KB


    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)02:58 No.17909507
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)02:58 No.17909511
         File1329033533.png-(15 KB, 138x152, 1306195707666.png)
    15 KB
    >A mushroom collection corporation
    >black ops level fungal experiment labs
    >small private army of flame thrower/machine gun wielding pig men.

    What the...
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)03:00 No.17909534
    I can't say I'm happy, but I am impressed.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)03:09 No.17909645
         File1329034186.jpg-(36 KB, 380x485, anthony_van_dyck_study_head_of(...).jpg)
    36 KB
    So pissed off.

    I'll take one more request to chew on while I sleep. I'll come back tomorrow morning with something to put up on /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)03:13 No.17909679
         File1329034400.gif-(975 KB, 256x192, 1o6Oj.gif)
    975 KB
    Hey OP, this asshole

    I bow down to you and your planning abilities, I should not have doubted you.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)03:14 No.17909696
    Also, saving this thread and I'm going to try and con my DM into using this mushroom farm stuff.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)03:18 No.17909732
         File1329034697.jpg-(46 KB, 800x600, 1304319880054.jpg)
    46 KB

    You're actually pretty welcome. It was a fun exercise for me.

    Come back and tell us about how your DM/GM uses this information for his game. I like feedback.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)12:44 No.17914285

    Delete Post [File Only]
    Style [Yotsuba | Yotsuba B | Futaba | Burichan]