The players have looted two worlds successfully so far:

The first, a Dating Sim world gone wrong when a smelly, obese neckbeard found a way to bring women through the Meta to him and mind control them into servitude, leaving many canons without some of their main characters.
You went in, picked up everything that wasn't nailed down, and got out.

The second, Black Mesa from Half-Life. The G-man was too busy playing Quake 3 Arena, and relied on you, Transpace Guard operatives, to fill plotholes and loot everything that wasn't nailed down. You proceeded to do so.

Now, the players are gearing up to tackle their 3rd world: A Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup run.
Most of the DOSH you'll earn from this mission comes from capturing enemy creatures alive, though items are worth picking up as well. Do this for as many creatures as possible, then head back to base to get paid.

The players have opted for a loadout consisting of the following Staff and Support options:

2 competent Warcraft 10-man teams, for 100 DOSH each.
Ordinarily, these would be 200 DOSH, but since the players recently looted a painting that is making thousands of WoWers pour in daily, you get a discount by picking them up before they get processed by Requisitions.

The Mentor, from Orcs Must Die!, for 60 DOSH.
He constructs traps, leeches XP, and kicks large amounts of ass in combat.

An Auror, from the Potterverse, for 50 DOSH.
Knows "Loot everything in line of sight that isn't nailed down", Abjuration, and some minor Ice spells in addition to most of the spells from Hogwarts.

A Blastoise from Pokemon, for 50 DOSH.
Modified to shoot Holy water from its cannons instead of regular water. Leeches XP, and is strong enough to carry heavy items.

Max, from MDK 2, for 45 DOSH.
A robotic dog with 4 arms, capable of firing 4 guns at once with great accuracy. Smokes and Drinks despite being a robot, as in the words of it's creator Dr. Fluke Hawkins, "It would be a crime against nature to design sentient life that can't appreciate a good smoke and a good drink".

A Minecraft player character, capable of dungeon 'redecoration', for 35 DOSH.

A Cleric of Desna, from Pathfinder, for 20 DOSH.
Is level 1 now, but will level up as time goes on. Note that the OP has bugger all experience with Pathfinder, so you'll need to micromanage this unit pretty hard.

>>17901428
For support options, they have picked:

Heavy Teleport Support, for 60 DOSH.
Capable of lifting a 10m x 10m x 10m block of rock every 30 seconds, or a 1m x 1m x 1m volume of person every seconds, this device has proved very useful in the past to the players for its great versatility.

A Revitalization Device, for 20 DOSH.
Capable of granting the healing effects of a good night's rest to whomever touches it. A popular alternative to sleeping quarters for Transpace crew, but expensive due to the need for a small amount of Psitanium in its construction.

Alien Containment Support, for 15 DOSH.
Securely contains a potentially infinite amount of enemy creatures to sell later, for only 15 DOSH.

Recette, from Recettear, for 15 DOSH.
Grants a 3% DOSH bonus to all loot sold.

The players have also brought along a large selection of ITEMS to equip their troops with.

All ground troops have been given a basic Heads Up Display (HUD), that allows them to talk to one-another, and share tactical data.
This costs 1 DOSH per troop, for a total of 26 DOSH.
Additionally, Max has been given an ADVANCED SENSOR package that allows him (and you!) to see shit through walls, as though there weren't any walls, for 15 DOSH.

The Warcraft Teams are each holding 2 DOSH worth of backpack-usable Stun Rods, for a total of 4 DOSH, and will use these to try to stun anything in melee with them.

The Orcs Must Die! Mentor is holding:
a Warsong Battle Drums (Aura, +10% damage increase) for 5 DOSH,
a Janggo of Endurance (Aura, +10% runspeed and +5% attack speed) for 4 DOSH,
a Pipe of Insight (Aura, doubles mana regeneration) for 4 DOSH,
a Tome of Experience (increases XP received by 15% while carried) for 3 DOSH,
and a Staff of Negation (Spammable AoE dispel that hurts summons) for 2 DOSH.

The Auror has been given a Mana Shield (take damage to MP instead of HP, if MP > HP) for 3 DOSH.

The Blastoise is holding a 200 kilogram Anti-magic gem worth 10 DOSH. Its main function is to block hostile teleports, such as being sent to the Abyss, but it also dispels harmful effects on friendlies (unreliably).

>more

The Blastoise is also holding a Grounding belt, that makes him immune to lightning-based attacks, for 4 DOSH.

Max is holding:
4 TMAR Small Launcher Variant Is, made of a fusion of Serious Sam and X-com technology, 7 DOSH each, for 28 DOSH in total.
These Small Launchers fire stun bombs with a wide explosive radius, do not need to be reloaded, and can be "Overcharged" to burn the user but double the rate of fire.
They have been modified to launch Stun bombs on a Timer rather than contact detonation, to allow for easier teleport shenanigans.
a Fire Mail from Chrono Trigger for 4 DOSH, which causes Fire damage taken to heal the wearer instead of hurting him,
and a Periapt of Vitality for 3 DOSH, which doubles his HP.

The Minecrafter has brought along a crate of Wood and Iron for free.

The Cleric of Desna has been given 10,000gp for 1 DOSH to spend on her starting equip. Since I know bugger all about D&D, I'll leave you people to pick it.

You also have 1 Green mail from Chrono trigger, which causes Acid attacks to heal the user, for 4 DOSH. It is not equipped to anyone, and will be used mainly to laugh at the Slime pits and at Oklob plants.

You have opted to bring along a huge amount of Electrified Steel Nets, for your Teleporter to use as part of its shenanigans, for 5 DOSH.

And for 15 DOSH, you have obtained...
...
...
A DIABLO II BARGAIN BIN!
Made of tons of useless leftover crap from Farming's trillions of Baal_36292 runs, its items are not particularily sought after, but may nonetheless be useful.

>Warcraft Teams say that All the gear in the bin is a downgrade, though some of it looks kinda cool

>Mentor from Orcs Must Die! is stacking Gold find and Magic find gear, with a bit of +skills. He will be able to build many more traps.

>The Auror is stacking mana regen and Fast Cast Rate items, along with some +skills

>The Blastoise cannot wear much of the items, but has found a Mask that increases the damage he deals to the undead. The Mask looks very silly on him.

>Max is stacking Increased attack speed, Run speed, and Increased damage items.

>The Cleric of Desna opts for some survivability items, as she is currently the squishiest party member.

Does the Tome of Exp only apply to the Mentor, or to the whole party?
Also,
>DCSS
TPK AHOY!
We're gonna want See Invisible pretty quicksmart.

>>17901751
Your minecrafter inspects the Bargain bin.
He deploys a crafting "Table" (you're pretty sure tables have legs and aren't cubes, but whatever) and stares at it.

A few seconds later, he's made himself a snazzy set of Ruby armor (+life) and an Amethyst sword (increased chance of hitting).

He's also made a helmet, shirt, pants, and boots ENTIRELY OUT OF SKULLS. Not only does it look ballin', but it may in fact have use for the Transpace guard.

>First piece of loot obtained before you even leave the base:
SKULL ARMOR, 5 Dosh

>>17901777
You have taken a SENSOR that allows sInv in a very wide radius, and HUDs for everyone that allow them to see the SENSOR's data.

Your team is at base and is ready for deployment.

>>17901799
Ballin'

DEPLOY TO DUNGEON CRAWL STONE SOUP WORLD y/n?

Also, this is the status of your Common Sense.
You currently have 5/5 lightbulbs ON.
Whenever the players would do an action that has disastrous consequences, but could have been averted by use of Common Sense, a bulb will turn off, but the disastrous action will be averted.
The players can opt to deliberately use Common Sense to gain a hint. This won't grant them any new information, just decisions based on the information they currently have.

To refill used Bulbs of common sense, the players may suggest ingenious, smart, creative, wise, out-of-the-box things, or things which suggest a high amount of awareness and planning on their part. Doing so will earn you a BULB.

If you would earn a BULB, but all your BULBs are already full, a Yellow bulb turns into a RED BULB. Turn all 5 of your bulbs red to upgrade your common sense!

I know jack-all about this world. Ah, well. Weren't we going to do 8-bit dystopia, though? Or did that get aborted?

>>17901893
METAQUEST OP is currently doing 8 bit dystopia.
BOOTLEG OP runs a game in the same setting, featuring a different set of people. It is currently ready to go to a Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup world.

BOOTLEG OP will try to run games on days that METAQUEST OP is not available.

>DCSS
>huge party
I'm guessing hunger won't be accounted for? Because I have a hard time feeding a single adventurer whenever I play...

>35 Dosh minecrafter
Did we seriously not take the respawnable minecrafter!?
and what of our crazy huge Crawl gold request?

Dear god! Do we not have the X-COM containment bay?! what happened since last time jesus christ

>>17901926
You have solved the FOOD problem in 3 different ways:
You opted to bring along Rations from base, for 0 DOSH.
The Warcraft Mage reports being able to conjure food and water.
Also, one of the Warcraft team has brought along two NPCs with him - a repair bot named Gnimo and a food vendor called Hakmud.

>>17901933
You do indeed have massive stacks of Crawldosh, but they were 0 DOSH so not included in recap.

>Alien Containment Support, for 15 DOSH.
You appear to have the X-com containment bay.
It reports that it is currently empty.

>>17901943
Reading comprehensin broseph
but i digress
Shit when did we make these decisions? i don't remember the blastoise from the last thread or were the decisions made in the METAQUEST threads?

>>17901951
>infinite food
>start with see invisible
So we're going Easy Mode then.

>>17901980
They were made in a metaquest planning thread.

You may either:
A. Sit at base and bitch about the items you obtained,
B. Talk to your crew, or
C. Go to the Crawl World.

>>17901993
Nikola disagrees with you politely.

>>No tome of Identify
>No anti-port magic
Whelp we're fucked

>>17902034
Woops! Forgot to mention that you DID in fact pick up the following spellbooks for the Auror:

Spellbook of Identify
Spellbook of Detect monsters
Spellbook of Detect treasure
Spellbook of Detect unseen (traps)
Abjuration spellbook (Crawl).

I appear to have Derped.

>>17902021
Shit was it archived? anyone got a .doc of it?

Someone equip the bloody Cleric.
>>17902053
You still haven't answered my first question in >>17901777
>Does the Tome of Exp only apply to the Mentor, or to the whole party?

>>17902034
As for the Anti-port magic:
Blastoise is holding an Anti-teleport gem.
You opt to test that it is working by trying to teleport things in and out.
Yep, it's working. Blocks teleports out, not teleports in.
>Gem status: 2/1000 until overcharged. Will lower its charge quickly with time. If you continue to use it when it is overcharged, you may experience backlash!

>Does the Tome of Exp only apply to the Mentor, or to the whole party?
It applies to the whole party, yes.
Or, to be more precise, it grants a 1 hour buff on use and you can shove it around between people.

>Shit was it archived? anyone got a .doc of it?

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Meta%20Quest
Yet another TG planning thread also requisitions arguing.

>>A. Sit at base and bitch about the items you obtained,
Seems like the threads weren't archived so i could definitly understand some anons point
>>B. Talk to your crew,
ABSO-FUCKING-LUTLY! Need some more sweet sweet dialouge
>>C. Go to the Crawl World.
Hold off for now until more anons arrive

>>17902080
>>17902104
Also I forgot the bloody Bag of Goddamn Holding

>you do in fact have a Bag of Goddamn Holding
>That is in fact its name. It holds a Goddamn amount of shit.

>As the Auror has a loot everything spell, the Auror currently holds the bag

>>17902108
>ABSO-FUCKING-LUTLY! Need some more sweet sweet dialouge

Kali:
"I won't mind if you want to worship another god for his or her benefits while you're exploring, but at least I won't send you to the Abyss out of boredom or give you An animal skin {god gift}."

>>17902158
Max:
"Hey, your job description. It doesn't say 'always go for the world with the most loot', it just says 'transpace looter'".
"I have a plan."
"Here's an idea for a mission: We pick up BOOZE, SMOKES and HOOKERS from as many different canons as we can, in 2 hours."
"Hey, it's still looting so it's still part of your job, and gotta enjoy the finer things in life sometimes, eh?"

>Mission unlocked: Beer Run with Max

>>17902108
No it's archived actually it's not marked as bootleg quest though so that's probably why some haven't seen it; it's a Metaquest and Bootleg thread
Here's the link
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/17840192/
Admittedly it kinda sucks if you missed it
But its the loadout unless the thread downvotes it

Auror:
"It's amazing how many different takes on Magic there are. I've only seen the barest fraction. I'd like to spend more time browsing the libraries at base once we're done here."

>>17902238
Mentor:
"Hey, picked up a new Trap just a few hours ago from the guys in Farming. Says it's based on a new type of plant they only discovered a day ago."
The Mentor lays down a section of Bounce plants on the floor.
"Can bounce enemies around to disorient 'em. Quite handy."
"Also, you want Nonlethal? I'll focus on my Ice spells then. They can slow enemies down, and if I level up a bit, can even freeze enemies solid."

rolled 46 = 46

>>17902200
cannot resist SMOKES, HOOKERS, and BOOZE
we have a few minutes to spare

Blastoise:
The Blastoise says its name repeatedly. You cannot tell what it is trying to say, but it seems pleased.

WoW team 2:
ogogogo
gogogoo
googogogo
gogogo
ogogogogog
gogogogo
gogo
>They seem singleminded

>>17902290
Perhaps AFTER your job is done here, yes? Not before?

You have Talked to your team.

Your options are:
A. Stay at base and complain about loadout
B. Deploy to Crawl World

>>17902305
Lets make the booze run a "bonus level"
And we are going to need telepathy to communicate with Blastoise.

Wow, great bargin on the WoW troops 200 wouldn't be worth it but damn 100 DOSH is
suprised by the lack of gunmen and trooper choices but cera cera only real regret is we didn't take the respawnable minecrafter and a bag of diamonds
>>17902021
Crawltime anyone?

>>17902348
The Blastoise can respond to commands fine.
It is just that it cannot respond to you.

Blastoise is spending its time blessing your troops, their gear, and the Skyranger.

Blastoise has determined:
>Holy Water is harmful to the Warlocks, Death Knights and Max
>Holy Water makes the Priests, Paladins, and Cleric of Desna feel empowered
>Holy Water does not have much effect on any of the other staff

>>17902400
You did indeed take a Bag of Diamonds.
And Rubies, Amethysts, Topazes, Emeralds, Sapphires, SKULLS.
It was included in a Diablo II leftovers bargain bin.
Farming always has tons of miscellaneous crap left over.

Crawltime?
Once you leave BASE, you cannot return until your job is complete!
Are you sure you are done arguing over items y/n?

Yes. We have a bunch of useful crap. Whatever the crawl demands of us, we have it.

>>17902459
PLEASE INSERT DISC 2

>>17902428
well there only seem to be few of us here and i don't really want to pull the trigger for everyone

personally i cast my vote for item as i missed the req thread on thursday but only if anyone else also wishes to reopen discussion

>>17902506
Lets go for items until there are more players, then.

Jesus christ we spent 760+ DOSH
Might as well toss in those deathclaws we were raving about and we're good to go seeing as we're going pure melee/magic sans max and blastoise
My god BUFFEDCLAWS

>>17902506
>>17902580
>>17902592
You have in fact spent exactly 800 DOSH, out of a maximum possible budget of 850.
Troop requisition is now closed.
You may, however, still argue over Items.

What would you like to take/drop?

what could we take with our 50 DOSH?

>>17902580
Thirded
i gotta agree with >>17902592 on the deathclaw too seeing as we're waaay more melee focused than our orginal loadout
Toss him a DEATHCLAW SIZED AXE for 1 DOSH. and DEATHCLAW SIZED STUNROD for 1 DOSH. Bless both and god forbid we let it use Enchant Weapon lll
otherwise i'd also recommend the Kasrkin(20 DOSH) for boss "spec op knowledge" buff (being distopian grimdark elite stormtroopers) and their already included ulimited ammo for the hellguns barring tossing a plasma TMAR with them
Only issue i forsee is our budget we're currently near 800 DOSH already so we might have to substitute choices or extend our credit to make up costs

>>17902734
Troop requisition is now closed.
You may, however, still argue over Items.
What would you like to take/drop?

As for why the Deathclaw got dropped: It was decided that Melee + Stunbomb (huge blast radius) = Stunning our own dudes, constantly.

The COMMON SENSE bonus is currently being provided by the Auror you took for mission 1.

>>17902713
Honestly alot on our list our most expensive unit is 60 DOSH so most on our list
Removing nets is an extra 5 DOSH (55 free)
Could subsitute Blastoise for that crazy modded holy water cannon for extra 15 DOSH (70 free)
-Blacklight and SPECTRES are 25 each
-3 Kasrkin w/unlimited ammo(Hellguns) (20 ea.)
-2 Deathclaws with Axes and rods (37 ea.)
-an additional Auror 50 Dosh
-Respawnable Minecrafter for 15 more DOSH
-Spellbook of Charm Monster (Rat screen for our troops 3 Dosh)

>>17902769
Honestly i'm good for the Crawl
LET'S ROCK!

>>17902861
You may indeed get a Spellbook of Charm Monster for 3 DOSH.

Your total now stands at 803 DOSH.

Troop requisition is now CLOSED. If someone asks for troops again I'm taking off bulbs for it.

>>17902875
PLEASE INSERT DISC 2.

>>17902769
Can we purchase lava for the minecrafter? i'd assume that'd be a nice area denial investment for pretty much all non-fireresistant/non-flying monsters

>>17902908
Lava, and buckets to store it in?
You may indeed do this for 2 DOSH!

Now insert that goddamn DISC 2.

>>A Boots of Speed is 3 DOSH. It makes the wearer move 66% faster.
For each non warcrafter
>>TMAR Tau Cannon: 8 DOSH each. Can fire through walls. Never runs out of ammo.
1-2 as backup for Max incase he runs into something he cannot stun
>>10 DOSH for the NETHACK DIVINATIONS PACKAGE: Identify, Detect Monsters, Detect "Unseen" (traps), Clairvoyance, and Detect Treasure. Requires a spellcaster who is at least TRAINED in divinations to use them.
The more loot the better
OR
we could use it on the additional Floor Space seeing as the Skyranger holds what was it 14 troops? 50 DOSH
anyway i cast another vote for PRAY GAME

>>17903007
You already have enough SPEED from your diablo items package!
Max takes a pair of TMAR Tau Cannons as a shoot-through-walls alternative.
...
OUT OF DOSH!

Now inserting disc 2...

>>17903007
THIS
also upgrade Minecrafter to respawnable
Finally
*inserts Disk 2 and clicks OK

>>17903026
OH SHIT IT IS ON!
LET'S ROCK!

>>17903026
LOADOUT:

In Low Earth Orbit / High Atmo:
1 Heavy Teleport Support
>Tons of Electrified Steel Nets
1 Revitalization device
>A night's sleep in an instant
1 Alien Containment bay
>loot storage for living beings
1 Recette
>3% Bonus to DOSH earned
1 Green Mail
>Acid damage instead heals you
1 Skyranger
>Equipped with Meta Transit Device

On the Ground:
2 WoW teams, consisting of 4 Healers, 2 Tanks, and 4 DPS each.
>They have stun rods to capture things they melee

1 Orcs Must Die mentor
>Equipped with Diablo Gold/Magic find gear, also a random bit of other buffs
>Equipped with all your Aura shit, for a total of +10% damage, +10% runspeed, +5% attack speed, +100% mana regen
>Is passing around a Tome of XP to those who wish to use it
>Has a Staff of Negation to spam AoE dispels and anti-summons
Your Orcs Must Die! Mentor is spending his XP on his ICE spells, and his NONLETHAL traps.

1 Holy Blastoise
>Holy Surf, Holy Water Spout, Blizzard, Focus Blast
>Carrying the anti-magic gem from World 1, which blocks teleports out of the area
>Can switch the gem off to teleport troops out if need be
>Also carrying a Grounding belt for lightning immunity

1 Auror
>Nethack Divinations spell package
>"Loot Everything" spell
>Abjuration spell
>Charm Monster spell
>Mana shield
>Equipped with Diablo II fast cast rate gear

>more

>>17903117
Your Blastoise also has tons of CALCIUM for Sp.Attack.

1 Max
>4 TMAR Stun Bombers
>2 TMAR Tau cannons
>1 Red Mail (Fire damage heals you)
>1 Life Gem (Doubles HP)
>Diablo II Increased attack speed and damage gear, also runspeed gear because getting stuck in melee when your main weapon has huge AoE sucks

1 Minecrafter
>Lots of Gem-related gear
>wearing +life mail, and wielding a +attack sword
>Has buckets of lava
>Lots of Wood and Iron

1 Cleric of Desna
>10,000gp to spend on various Pathfinder SRD items. Anyone here know Pathfinder?
>Survives longer due to Diablo II gear

You also have one ADVANCED SENSOR that Max is currently holding, and one BAG OF LOOTING that the Auror is currently holding.
All troops have HUDs to share sensor data and chat to each-other.

I think that's all of it.

>>17902769
wait, isn't most of our WoW troops Melee anyway? so it really wouldn't have made a difference if it fought alongside with the troopers assuming it didn't derp into Max's range of fire?

>>17903164
Fucking nice! Let's make great haste!

rolled 39 = 39

You arrive over the destination...

...and the first thing you notice is that there is a Cube, 1 kilometer in each direction, made entirely out of various stones, sitting above where you expect the dungeon entrance to be.

Kali pipes up.
"The Gods here ... something's upset them. I can try to talk to them, eavesdrop, or just stay away from them for now. Your call."

Your Skyranger rolls Spot...

>10,000gp to spend on various Pathfinder SRD items. Anyone here know Pathfinder?
Aww Shit!
we need a PATHFINDER PLAYER NOW!
i don't think we can purchase items mid mission

>>17903232
Your Skyranger has spotted a safe landing zone.
You can land on top of the cube, or adjacent to it.
However, the Cube is mostly featureless, save for a few Stairs around its outside, and a giant spiral staircase exactly in the middle.

>>17903233
I can't into Pathfinder so I need people to micromanage the cleric pretty hard. I'll have her in the back gaining XP until someone tells me "The Cleric is equipped with X and can do Y".

Also.
Do any of the Players playing today have any experience in the Engineering profession, or in building overly complicated bullshit in video games such as Garry's mod and Minecraft?

Let's land adjacent to it, because how are we going to get down if the interesting stuff is on the ground?

>>17903261
On top is probably better as we have to make it to the top once the orb is claimed (we can't tele out) better to not have them wait while walls of demons are assaulting them. Unless the minecrafter can dig throught the outer material then we'll park right next to it

>>17903373
What do you wish to tell Kali to do?
As your team lands adjacent to the Cube, they notice something.
The LZ is hot.
Yaktaurs, and "Grey Centaurs" (no known information on grey 'c') patrol the area, along with a few Red and Immature draconians.

How will you proceed against these fearsome foes?
Max reports that there's no way inside the Cube from the side, the side stairs are purely scaffolding.

Hmm i wasn't expecting a tower enterance
Land on top
The first level of the crawl has you coming down a staircase so obviously the top is the enterance
Or
If the minecrafter can cut into it land adjacent. The run back will be alot easier if we subvert a couple levels

>>17903396
>>17903428
Tip: If it's been 10 minutes without player input, I go with the first response to keep the quest moving.
You may lift off and land on the top if you wish.
Do you wish to do this?
Also, what are you telling Kali to do?

>>17903417
If our skyranger is armed with
Stingray/Avalanche/LaserCannon/PlasmaCannon
also ask Kali to gather what the gods are up to by eavesdroping

rolled 5, 11, 86 = 102

>>17903477
Eavesdropping go!

>>17903520
Kali reports that she can't make out any of the details.
Kali reports that it is difficult to eavesdrop around the Omniscient, and is noticed.
"Come to gawk at the newcomer too, eh?" a God, resembling a samurai, says to her.
"Hehee! Now you look cute! :3 :3 :3c I bet there's lots of fun thing you can do with that tongue! ;3c~ ... or all those hands to rub things! ;-3cc~~ Hi! My name's Xom. Wanna be my new plaything?" a rather ... deranged looking god says to her.
"For fuck's sake piss off, I'm married" Kali says back.
Xom simply stares at her and says ":3c"

>>17903477
We land on top
(after we use our skyrangers weapons on those yakataurs if we have any, if not we land on top) embark down the stair case with lights advancing tacticly down the stairs and spreading in a box formation.
also hear what Kali hears

>>17903562
Tell kali to mingle with the gods subtly pressing them for information, or outright asking what they were discussing previously
Secure LZ on top and scan the staircase and surrounding area for life signs. We'll discuss actions after the scan is complete.

rolled 43, 71 = 114

>>17903571
Are you sure you wouldn't like to attempt to CAPTURE the enemy, seeing as you're paid to LOOT things, and they're worth more alive?

>Tell kali to mingle with the gods subtly pressing them for information, or outright asking what they were discussing previously
Kali talks to the gods.

>>17903562
Stay the fuck away from Xom.
We'll have her ask about the previously held discussion, have her smooze it up to it's better to have the gods favorable towards you than indifferent.

>>17903621
We don't have loot list so we don't know the worth of any individual units
So we have no way to ascertian worth of target (barring rats and such, who wants rats)

>>17903562
>Xom acting like a "lolsorandumb" faggot
This is both expected and utterly terrifying.

>>17903606
We should ask Kali to ask the "good" gods first.

>>17903621
"Hi. I'm Okawaru. Or Mars, if you prefer. That there's Pelor, also known as the Shining one."
A glowing man with a great beard bows.
"Over by the table is Nemelex. He's a bit of a trickster, but kinda popular."
Nemelex shows a card to Kali. It is the Queen of Spades.
"And I see you've already met our ... ... lovely ... god of Chaos. You see, to avoid consuming the land in fire and death, we've made a pact to not attack each-other directly. But that little faggot keeps pushing it."
Xom looks at Okawaru, winks, and makes another :3 face.

"Anyway. You're probably here because you heard the fuss, yes?"
"Yes."
>more

>>17903652
They're worth more alive than dead, I can tell you that much.

>>17903621
Great fucking job guys we burned a bulb aready

Well to be fair we don't know what requisitions wants from us in this mission but the Orb so the only thing i can see of worth is the Draconions
>>No info on Grey Centaurs
CAPTURE NOW FOR STUDY
Could be a canon disturbance. Have max take aimedshots at the group w/StunBombs and we'll beam 'um up

>>17903672
"There's been some bad news.
Asmodeus, god of the Hells, was killed recently, and another god took his place. A god just as Lawful Evil, if not moreso. A god whose demains are Blood, Engineering, and Insanity.
That God?
Calls himself Armok, and his Champions are truly frightful."

Xom is now ANNOYING Kali.

>>17903691
I blame Raidah for that loss of a bulb.
And yeah, capturing all non canon enemies should be top priority.

rolled 27 = 27

>>17903691
>Could be a canon disturbance. Have max take aimedshots at the group w/StunBombs and we'll beam 'um up
Max takes careful aim at a group of 3 Yaktaurs and 2 Grey Centaurs...

>>17903710
>Armok
Note to self: don't push any levers.

>>17903672
-Let them continue their explaination
-Secure LZ
-Scan staircase and surrounding area on the levelbefore
-Have Max stun the group besides the tower and have them beamed into containment bay
-If situation is clear below us we send the tanks down first as a meatshield and let the rest follow behind creating a box formation once their all down the stairs

>>17903731
Two of the Yaktaurs are winged by the blast and start to flee, but the blast nails the Grey Centaurs and one of the Yaktaurs.

Beaming up the captives, you find that you have captured...

>2 cat
>1 kitten
LOOT ADVISOR: "Those aren't worth very much, we already have tons of those"

>>17903710
Have Kali use:GODLY PATIENCE to resist Xom
also this >>17903751

rolled 57 = 57

>>17903751
In the distance, some of the draconids bark at you.

The Skyranger relocates to the top of the cube, and again rolls spot.

Given that DCSS is Open Source, I wonder if someone did mess with the source in this canon.

>>17903761
You're fucking shitting me.

rolled 45 = 45

>>17903794
I am not shitting you. You successfully captured two of the grey cs and one of the red cs without any losses or damage! Hooray!

>>17903793
The Skyranger lands on the top of the cube without incident, finding a safe landing zone easily. Red cs (You have identified these as "Kittens") and Grey cs (You have identified these as "Cats") patrol the area, and flee away from your landing site.

Max scans the cube with his sensors.

>>17903761
>2 cat and 1 kitten
>2 cat and 1 kittan
>2 cat
>2 Kat
MY GAWD
in all seriousness
have the minecrafter build a huge enclosed pen and leave the cats to breed inside, we may need a horde of squishy shields later in the dungeon.

rolled 44, 12, 100 = 156

>>17903826
Cats take months to breed. Nonetheless, the Cats are derping about in Alien Containment.

Max reports.
"Staircase goes ALMOST all the way to the bottom. There's a floor down there, just above the entrance to the Dungeon proper."
"Also, these walls are HOLLOW. There's structure inside."
Rolling Knowledge: Engineering

Nobody on staff today has any Engineering knowledge?

>>17903821
>You successfully captured two of the grey cs and one of the red cs without any losses or damage!
What I can assume from here is that the symbols here aren't "assigned" as in DCSS, but as in Dwarf Fortress. That also explains why we "got" high level enemies this early.
ARMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK!

>>17903858
Also:
>>17903793
>some of the draconids bark at you.
>bark
Those may have been dogs.

>>17903849
Minecrafter most probably does.

MAX uses his knowledge
>44
"It's clearly related to fluids, with those pumps. I can't make out anything about most of it, though.
STRAWBERRY uses engineering knowledge
>12
"It's really big! Probably goes boom."

Then one member of the command staff pipes up.
>100
"I've played this before."
"It's a water pressuriser. To be more accurate: It's a device that creates infinite water, blesses it, and pushes it with the pressure of 1000 atmospheres, or to be more precise, with 100 Million Newtons of force over that square meter.
>To give you an idea? That's about 10,000 tons.

>>17903908
Oh fuck, they're building a fuck the world machine!
We'd better sabotage it before it kills all our loot and damages the canon even more.

rolled 32 = 32

>>17903879
Minecrafter reports that he is more of an ADVENTURER than a builder.

>>17903934
The fuck the world machine is currently EMPTY and does not contain water.
How long would you like to spend sabotaging the fuck the world machine?

KALI tries to use GODLY PATIENCE...

>>17903948
Kali is ANNOYED, but controls her temper.

"Look. I know we're not meant to mess around in a canon. At all. But if that EVER changes, this creepy motherfucker is the very first on my Death list."
Xom simply grins and makes lewd gestures.

Your troops are currently at the top of the staircase on the FTW machine. The entrance to the dungeon is DOWN. What do you wish to do?
>_

>>17903948
Just enough to have the Minecrafter blockade all water inlets and outlets and possibly also let him go nuts on the mechanisms. Maybe he can salvage something useful out of those.

>>17903977
Even with heavy teleport support and the sensor, this will take 2 hours.
What should the rest of your forces do in the meantime?

>>17903987
Lets first ask the other players if to use two hours in sabotaging the machine, maybe there's a more efficient way.

>>17903948
It might be a machine to flood the dungeon/hell/panbdemonium/etc with holy water, to kill all the demons, or possibly everything, considering the pressure.

We need to investigate and possibly sabotage this if we want to survive at all, seeing as our troops cant take that immense pressure.

Brainstorming:
How could we cause a tantrum spiral?
How about we try captruing some dorfs?
What would happen if we teleported away one level of the tower to cause a cave in? Would it affect the dungeon?
Is there a safe area to operate the device from, and can we rig a leak to flood it without flooding the rest of the world/dungeon?
Do the dwarves have a trading depot? Maybe we can ask them for caged creatures and loot from the dungeon in exchange for some worthless crap?

>>17904068
You have not seen a trading depot.
You do not see the control mechanism.
The rest of your questions would require COMMON SENSE to answer.

It has now been 10 minutes! It is now FIRST REPLY DECIDES ACTION time!
>Spend 2 hours sabotaging device y/n?
>What do the rest of the forces do in the meantime?

Specify: The only dwarves you have seen so far are the 4 you deployed as part of your ground team.

>>17904068
In retrospective, redirecting where the mechanism floods to would be a better way than just plugging the outlet.

>>17904125
Assuming minecraftdude is sabataging the machine he would be on the inside. Have troops and men accompany him in and have them go to the enterance of the dungeon and start scanning once again. Unless all this involves the structure collaping on our troops in which they wait
Wait. have the minecraft point out crucial parts to sabatage and use HEAVY TRANSPORTER to simply rip them out and deposit them next to the tower.

>>17904181
The mechanism appears to flood to a central PIPE about 5x5 tiles in size on the outside, 3x3 tiles in size on the inside. The pipe enters the dungeon.
Do you wish to block the PIPE, or redirect the PIPE, or have the PIPE flood the surrounding countryside?

>>17904205
ACTING.

>>17904125
Let's send down the ground team to investigate, making sure to keep a unit that can rez behind incase they all die.
Keep an eye out for dwarves and mechanisms, maybe split up so we can have one team search the mechine while the other searches the dungeon.
We should start using our teleporters to dig holes in the ground to see how far the dwarves have dug if they arent doing anything better, these buggers are unpredictable.

rolled 71, 77 = 148

>>17904217
Roll for things.

>>17904068
>>It might be a machine to flood the dungeon/hell/panbdemonium/etc with holy water, to kill all the demons, or possibly everything, considering the pressure.
Why even destroy it then as long as it's not activated it's safe for us to use and flood the dungeon to stem the tide of demons once we retrieve the Orb.
-Have all available units SAFTY CHECK the mechanisms
-If safe send all availabe men DOWN to first floor of dungeon after scanning is complete of staircase and first dungeon level

>>17904219
>>17904224
The instant your minecrafter strikes the wall, BEFORE YOU BREAK A SINGLE WALL, Kali gives you a very strong alert.
"Do you know what divine wrath feels like?"
"Because I just felt a WHOLE lot of divine wrath."
In the distance, the Draconids emit a bark, and begin converging on your location...

>>17904219
The PIPE appears to go as far down as D:27.

>Have all available units SAFTY CHECK the mechanisms
Surprisingly, great care has been taken with the machine. It is double protected against leaks in all areas other than its infinite water generators, which are singly-protected. The only outflow pipes are emergency pressure overflows, and the main output pipe.

Here we go seeing as i haven't played Dorf Fort
- Use MINECRAFTER to make BUCKETS from IRON
-use BUCKETS to scoop WATER from FTW device
-Empty buckets in those cross block things
-COMPLETLY DISARMED AND WE CAN REARM AT WILL
-PROCEED TO FIRST DUNGEON LEVEL

>>17904293
The machine is currently DRY. Even its infinite water generators are DRY.

You can proceed to the first dungeon level.
You appear to have attracted the attention of Armok, but his forces have not reached you yet.

Enter dungeon now y/n?

>>17904265
-Use minecrafters BUCKETS to remove the water from infinite water generators
-KALI use: GOD SENSE to scan for source of divine power
-Send troops down the dungeon entrance and enter

>>17904309
FUCK YES!
after scan then we enter
-Tanks first
-Max and casters behind them ready to stun/capture anything in sight

>>17904334
>>17904217
Probably the divine wrath came from Armok. One of his domains is ENGINEERING, and as such, he probably dislikes seeing those sort of things getting wrecked.

But I doubt he would mind if we let the mechanism work, but not as intended. And by that, I mean to flood the countryside. is there a valley nearby that could work for an artificial lake?

Let's use Kali to sense the disturbance and relay it to us with the powers of divine telepathy and advance into the first layer of the dungeon

>>17904334
>KALI use: GOD SENSE to scan for source of divine power
It's Armok, all right!
>-Use minecrafters BUCKETS to remove the water from infinite water generators
You know how it was DRY?
I'm tempted to take a bulb off you, but you probably just posted before you refreshed.

>-Send troops down the dungeon entrance and enter
>-Max and casters behind them ready to stun/capture anything in sight

A group of Grey draconians, Immature draconians, and Red Draconians ambush you on your way down the stairs.
They look at you and growl, ready to bite you.
They do not appear to be wearing any armor or holding any weapons.

How will you get past the Draconid pack?

>>17904365
Wow, had no idea
IGNORE MACHINE and enter dungeon after using scanners. Keep that rader ready for incoming targets and advance down the stairs

>>17904387
Particularily, do you wish to try to CAPTURE the draconid pack, or KILL the draconid pack?

>>17904387
Is there a bone that we can throw to the "draconids"?

>>17904406
You may indeed try to distract the Draconids with FOOD.
If you choose the nonlethal option, you will try this.

Can we set our viewers from stone soup mode to hybryd dwarffort stonesoup mode?

These are probably dogs, so stunning should be easy enough.

Can kali TALK to armok to see if she can cancel the divine wrath?

>>17904387
-have max open fire with the stun bombers on the pack. We'll capture them for every possible DOSH.

rolled 44, 9 = 53

>>17904416
You switch to HYBRID mode...
... The true nature of the Draconids reveals itself to you! The Red ones are PUPPIES!

Kali attempts to TALK to Armok.

>>17904416
Better: lets switch to DCSS tiles plus Stonesense.

>>17904446
Kali reports that she was unable to talk to Armok.

>>17904448
You now have ISOMETRIC ASCII!
It's like looking into the matrix.

Now:
Kill dogs, Bypass dogs, or Capture dogs?

Have Kali ask Armok why the device may be there and have max blast that pack with stun bombers while the tanks take a defensive stance if they break through or max fails with casters at the ready as a third line of defense

>>17904472
Befriend dogs with Rations and CHARM CREATURE
we could use them for later no need for needless blood to be spilled

rolled 26, 75 = 101

>>17904440
>>17904482
You open fire with stun bombs.
the Auror opens with an Arresto Momentum, slowing the enemy charge, as the Mentor lays down some freezing traps.
Your Warcrafters try Fear and Polymorph and Hibernate to slow the enemy advance.
Max opens fire...

>>17904446
Son of a bitch i was suprise we encountered Draconions so early, that makes way more sense

rolled 56 = 56

>>17904510
"Crap. Aim is off today."
A rain of stun bombs falls upon the dogs, stunning some of them before they can reach you.
The Warcrafters poke the few that do reach you with stun rods.

Rolling 1d100

>>17904530
You were successfully able to teleport away a PUPPY before it fell off the staircase and hurt itself.

>>17904503
The Dogs and Cats are still stunned. The Auror will try this when they wake up.

>6 War Dog
>4 Dog
>2 Puppy
>2 Cat
>1 kitten
DOSH ASSISTANT: "We have lots of those already, though the trained dogs might have some value."

You go down the stairs...
...and at the bottom of the stairs, a sight greets you.

There is a Retracting bridge.
A Lever is next to it.
Right below the bridge, there is the entrance to the Dungeon. You can see it clearly.
Pull lever y/n? You will enter the dungeon either way.

>>17904582
N. lets use the other entrance.

>>17904582
Scan ahead and keep eyes on MGS scanner
oh god we're gonna regret this
>PULL LEVEL
>ENTER DUNGEON

This might be a dwarven atom smasher? We should stay back and teleport away the bridge, anyting that goes under it could be destroyed.

Look above and below the lever, search for traps, and STAY AWAY FROM THE BRIDGE

>>17904623
Use ROPE/Magic to decend to dungeon enterance and enter

rolled 35, 22, 27, 27, 89, 33 = 233

>>17904623
>>17904639
You AVOID the bridge.

Spot, Spot, Wisdom, Spot, Spot, Aim.

>>17904655
!!!
use MINECRAFTER to place blocks around the lever leaving it utterly unaccessible

>>17904666
Your Skyranger reports something interesting.

"there's a trench surrounding the entire complex. Can't get a sense of how deep it goes, but it looks deep."

You spot the DUNGEON ENTRANCE!
You notice that the FTW machine is made of STONE.
You notice that the FTW machine probably WEIGHS A LOT.
Your skyranger reports that it can't get a good view of the dwarves coming towards you.
A bolt comes flying out of nowhere and misses completely.

NOW ENTERING DUNGEON...

>>17904708
CRAAAP!!!
Have the main group enter the dungeon and have the skyranger close its main door while scanning the trench around the tower as well as the dwarfs positions

>>17904708
You are on D:1
Suggest tactics:

#1. Everyone splits up and searches for creatures/items to loot, with teleport support ready to bring people together if needed
#2. Group stays together and hunts as a pack
#3. Bypass the place and go deeper

In any case, the Minecrafter has hastily sealed off the dungeon entrance and dropped a lava bucket on the stairs. The Mentor is busily laying LETHAL traps, and the Auror is booby trapping the entrance with spells.

Your Teleporter reports that it is functioning fine and can assist your troops.

>>17904768
1)Hunt as pack
2) Use MGS rader to look for lifesigns
3)Max use Radar
4)Auror use LOOT MAGNET
5) Explore this level while killing pests(rats, cockroaches,ect) and stunning low level enemies

rolled 40, 96, 12 = 148

>>17904809
rolling.

>>17904768
Have the auror cast his locate spells, and split up, so we can res is there's an ambush, looting as we g.

>>17904822
Your Skyranger reports that the Dwarves head to the dungeon entrance, see the lava, then turn right the fuck around and head away.
It caught a glimpse of one:

You can't really call it a "Dwarf". It has no skin. It has no fat. It is a super strong, super agile, super tough ball of Rage and Engineering and Booze. When pressed in combat, it can fire crossbow bolts at 60 rounds per minute, bolts that are capable of somehow penetrating both the eyes, brain, heart, lungs, liver, and legs of a standing target.

Your Auror requests permission to use SCRYING on DWARF LEADER. Give permission y/n?

There are tons of creatures on the first level. It looks like the dungeon has repopulated.

Room to Room or Hall to room ya'll?

>>17904864
Let him.

>>17904864
OF COURSE!

>>17904864
You loot:
>No useful creatures, but a ton of crap ones
>Some Healing potions, Magic potions, Scrolls of Mapping.

>>17904888
Your Auror scries a purple dwarf, in a massive room, containing Beds, Tables, Chairs, and some of the flashiest, gaudiest shit you've ever seen.
Other dwarves are around him, eating food. They are all the same skinless fatless super-everything horrors from above.

On his desk, you notice one thing that stands out, amongst all the requests and work orders:
DEMAND: HOLY WATER

>>17904943
>>Holy Water
urge to start caravan for Dorf support rising. Identify potions butcher the dead pest animals and place their meat in the magic warcraft bags where they won't rot. We'll use their meat to befriend the dogs

>>17904943
Nothing of interest here, you proceed to D2.

You spot a Yellow @ wandering around. He/she hasn't noticed you yet.

Perform any special tactics when dealing with yellow @? By default, you will attack as a group and try to capture him.

>>17904943
Do everything we can to prevent them getting the Holy Water. Hopefully the Dorf leader will start murdering/imprisoning people.

>>17904992
Scry the yellow @

>>17904992
oh god oh god i have no idea what it is so...
Perception roll to identify by the entire group
>Sentiant, greet it
"Hail fellow well met"
>Hostile,
Stun

rolled 15, 58, 59 = 132

>Scry the yellow @
It's Sigmund.
He has a wand of Disintegration.

>Stun
kgo

>>17904993
once their fort falls we loot it
Scry @ and roll perception

rolled 79, 4, 50 = 133

>>17905042
"I AM SIGMUND. SLAYER OF NEWBIES, AND END OF HOPE. I WILL ENACT UPON YOU CONFUSION AND DEATH."

"Down, boy."
Max fires some shots that go wide, scoring the wall behind Sigmund.

Sigmund fires Confusion at your Mentor ...
... but Blastoise's Anti-magic gem activates and blocks it!

>Combat round 2

>>17905042
>Sigmund
>He has a wand of Disintegration.
WHY
Alright, we need to stun it as fast as possible and be looking at the sensors constantly.

>>17905069
You captured SIGMUND!
>That one's Valuable.

Loot:
>A bunch of shit (? DOSH)
>Sigmund (5 DOSH)

>>17905078
>him

>>17905069
Can we accio the wand off him? We may need to temporarily disable the antimagic gem.

>>17905092
Oh damnit, disregard >>17905094
Also, how many charges does the wand have?

>>17905042
>>wand of Dis
HOLE-LY SHIT!
Break formation
Saturation fire with stun bombs while straffing and Blast him with Hydro Pump, have mincrafter make a 3x2 block wall to hide our other units behind

>>17905094
The only person in your forces who couldn't solo sigmund is the Priest of Desna. The Wand of Disint may deal 20 damage, but almost everyone in your team has 150 hp or more.
Wand has 5 charges. Use 'em well, lads!

NOW PROCEEDING TO D:3...

Keep our eyes on the HUD being fed by the MGS radar and Max's radar. We'll continue sweeping the floor for potential loot and npcs.
REMEMBER KIDS:WATCH OUT FOR TRAPS
roll perception for traps

>>17905144
You detect a green 'T' and a brown 'O' on this level
>purgy, unique
>ogre
Along with a truly astonishing number of yellow gs
>gnoll

Your WoW team immediately starts cracking jokes about a mythical gnoll called "Hogger".

>roll perception for traps
You do this automatically.

Your options for attacking the fort:
#1: Kick in the front door, stunbomb
#2: Break open a side entrance, stunbomb everything
#3: Make a narrow corridor fight, melee stun everything

Vote now.

Purgy ... Max solos him since Max outruns him and outranges him. You get a Purgy!

Alright Lads, do we meet the dorfs demands for their possible support? or let them tear themselves apart over lack of holy water
also
Continue searching D:3 on guard

>>17905192
Side enterance is a better idea than crashing straight through the door, that type of hiijinks will get us killed later in game

>>17905208
They will always end tearing themselves apart sooner or later, we might as well just accelerate their inevitable demise.

>>17905192
Damn, they all look like the options Raidah would choose.
I say #2, pick them off guard.

rolled 54, 71 = 125

>>17905236
>>17905235
You go via a side door...

>>17905236
Well why not hasten it sooner
Scry their booze stores...and port it ALL OUT
Boatmurdered 2 Electric Boogaloo

>>17905247
The mentor quips.
"Hey, check this out."
A Bounce trap is set in a hallway. As Gnolls enter it, they are flung around madly, proving easy prey for stun bombs.
The trap is eventually clogged with Stunned Gnolls ... so the Mentor lays another one.
And another one.
And another one.

Ultimately, Gnolls cannot stand up to your fury.

>Scry their booze stores...and port it ALL OUT
Good news! It's in Gehenna.
Bad news! Teleports don't reach there.

Notable loot for this level:
>A bunch of crap monsters (nonetheless, still worth something. Maybe 20 DOSH so far?)
1 Purgy (5 DOSH)
1 Sigmund (5 DOSH)
A bunch of random dungeoncrap (4 DOSH so far)
1 Unique spellbook, for 5 DOSH. You get 5 DOSH for each unique spellbook you loot.

You found a Ring of Wizardry.
Give Ring of Wizardry to Auror y/n?

>>17905309
Check for curses first. If not cursed, Y.

>>17905309
Naw doubt man, hook our auror up
Ghenna? Goddamn these Dorfs are not to be trifled with. Port these Gnolls up, retrieve the plants and continue investigation of the level

>>17905342
>>17905346
Your Auror's power INCREASED!

D:4 is nothing unusual
A bunch of crap monsters (nonetheless, still worth something. Maybe 25 DOSH so far?)
1 Purgy (5 DOSH)
1 Sigmund (5 DOSH)
A bunch of random dungeoncrap (5 DOSH so far)

D:5 has three things of note:
Blork the Orc, a spellcasting Orc
The Staircase to the Temple
And a pack of orcs, which have an Orc priest.
The Orc priest can smite.

Do any unusual tactics for these, besides "Stay as a group, gogogo"? Blork is tougher than Sigmund, but not by much, and you have enough healers to outpace the orc priest.

>>17905372
Pack mode is survival mode
Keep it tight people
We've got to capture Blork and the ork priest, loot this level and make it to the temple
Have KALI use: POLITE QUESTIONING to ask the gods what earns their favor (i know sacrificing gold to one is a big piety boost)

>>17905443
Lootan like a boss...

D:5 done
A bunch of shit monsters (30 DOSH)
Sigmund (5)
Purgy (5)
Blork (5)

Random dungeoncrap (7 DOSH)
2 Spellbook (10 DOSH)

The Gods inform you that most of them wish that you follow their tenets. Evil gods want you to slay things in their name, Good gods simply request that you worship them. In general, they won't get pissed off at you unless you're specifically trying, or unless they're Xom.

Speaking of which: You have a choice of where to go.
Do you go to the Temple?
Or skip it and head for D:6?

>>17905500
Waiting for player input.

>>17905500
Temple is only good for storing loot and resting up which we don't need. Unless there's some fountians there. Move to the next level carefully. It's a better bet really

Yo, OP are we still looking for a pathfinder player to buy equipment for our cleric?

cause i dabbled in pathfinder...

if you guys want me too i can try and get her geared up. What do we need her to do. besides heal and shit obviously.

>>17905638
I am rather ashamed of my grammar in that post. Please forgive me.

>>17905500
Skip the temple. No loot. Although... it may be interesting to see if Armok has a shrine.

>>17905638
No one else has so by all means do so
1) Check temple for fountains if none just leave and proceed to next level

>>17905634
Temple is made of LAVA. You opt to skip Temple.

>>17905638
It's a cleric. It can invoke the power of god, hit things, heal things, buff things. The Buffing in particular is most useful.

D:6 has 2 Speed potions in amongst its loot. You distribute the Speed potions to the Mentor and the Auror to use if needed.

D:7 is a rather large payday.
In addition to some Artefact boots (a crap artefact but still an artefact), and a scroll of Enchant Armor (ESPECIALLY valuable, as Crawl's Enchant Armor scrolls work damn well), 2 useful rings, and...
A book store with 13 useful books, holy shit that's 65 DOSH.

D:7 done
A bunch of shit monsters (35 DOSH)
Sigmund (5)
Purgy (5)
Blork (5)

Random dungeoncrap (12 DOSH)
2 Potion of Speed
15 Spellbook (75 DOSH)

>>17905713
om nom nom delcious shops
Any rare materials encountered yet for our minecrafter to strip. and if not proceed to the next level and search like madmen

>>17905713
Your Auror, and Mentor, are looking through the books to see if there's anything they can use...

Your Auror learns HASTE
Your Auror learns CONDENSATION SHIELD
Your Auror learns SUMMON IMP
Your Auror learns CONTROL TELEPORT (not that you need it)
Your Auror learns SWIFTNESS and PASSWALL
Your Mentor learns OZOCUBU'S ARMOR
Your Mentor learns CONDENSATION SHIELD
Your Mentor learns FREEZING AURA (it's just a weapon enchantment)

Your Mentor holds onto the ICE BOOK for later, when he's more levelled up.

>>17905761
D:8 holds nothing new for you.
You give another RING OF WIZARDRY to your AUROR, who powers up even further!
Your Auror can now summon Ice Beasts!
Your Auror can now disintegrate walls!
Your Auror can now cast Stoneskin!

D:9 poses the next New challenge to your team:
Killer bees.
Annoying, hard to hit, and if they close into melee range, you can't AoE them with stunbombs. How do you deal with Killer bees?

(Now accepting player input)

---

LOOT

---

D:8 done
A bunch of shit monsters (40 DOSH)
Sigmund (5)
Purgy (5)
Blork (5)

Random dungeoncrap (16 DOSH)
2 Potion of Speed
15 Spellbook (75 DOSH)

>>17905808
A second Wizardry ring is a bout a 20% boost compared to the first. http://crawl.chaosforge.org/index.php?title=Ring_of_wizardry
If he can use the new spells without the second ring, give the second ring to the Mentor.

>>17905808
Hrmph bees are a bit more of a problem
Saturate with stun AoE but let loose with the spell casters a bit to blast them away and engage in melee if they close the distance.

>>17905866
take teh stun bomb thing back
Blast them with magic, and slash them to peices interspaced with stun rods

>>17905808
As for the bees... stunbomb them from far and have someone ready that can remove poison if they get in melee range.
We should have brought ways to stun in melee, now that I think about it.

rolled 89, 23 = 112

>>17905866
BEEs are indeed a problem.
Your Healers can remove poison and heal damage, and your Tanks can tank easily enough.
The problem is the fuckers are so hard to hit.
Flying so traps won't work.
The close distance FAST so AoE hits your own dudes
They evade pretty damn well so stunning them is hard.
There is one thing they seem to not like, though.
>>17905887
Your WoW team have melee stunrods. Between them, 20 stunrods.
Your Mentor is learning how to FREEZE things in a solid block of ice, but it will take him time to do so.

>>17905883
>>17905887
Nevermind, I forgot about the stun rods.

>>17905887
Naw Stun bombs don't work on bees
We do have stun rods which our melee troops will use to engage the bees while having casters buff and blast any that threaten them

>>17905896
Have the Auror summon some Ice Beasts as meat walls. And they also resist poison.

>>17905896
Engage bees with melee troopers (stun rods) have casters use offensive magic to defend against any bees that rush them. Have max pull back as he'll just hit our troops

>>17905896
"Petrificus Totalus Petrificus Totalus Petrificus Totalus Petrificus Totalus Petrificus Totalus Petrificus Totalus Petrificus Totalus"
Fast Cast spells make your Auror speak as though he had inhaled SUPER HELIUM. And the bees drop like flies.

D:10 holds something interesting for you (And for my fucking MdFi when I saw it).
8.
Fucking.
Elephants.
>Those are worth 2 DOSH each. Not much, but it adds up.

BLASTOISE!
Use hydropump or surf to completly whitewash these bees

Clear the rest of the level searching for Hatches and Stairs. Decend one more level on the ready have Max charge his stunbombs

>>17905961
Max reports that he can safely kite the elephants, and use his jetpack to go across traps the Mentor places, while the Auror resists momentum, and the WoWers spam CC and run interference on anyone attempting to interfere.

Since this poses no challenge to a well equipped group, despite the amazing ability of Elephants to tank damage.

>Use hydropump or surf to completly whitewash these bees

Blastoise is sticking to Blizzard and Focus blast so as not to leave any Holy Water lying around the dungeon for the DF Dwarves to loot. Do you wish to change this?

You also pick up a SCROLL OF TORMENT. This thing halves the HP of everything you see on screen that isn't undead. Be careful with it, since it hits your own dudes.

---

LOOT

---

D:10 done
A bunch of shit monsters (55 DOSH)
Sigmund (5)
Purgy (5)
Blork (5)

Random dungeoncrap (25 DOSH)
2 Potion of Speed
1 Scroll of Torment
16 Spellbook (80 DOSH)

>>17906037
You stand at a crossroads.
One way: The Lair.
One way: D:11.
You may go either way, and backtrack freely.

Where to?

Pathfinder Anon here.

Without any knowledge of the cleric's stats, skills, or even prepared spells makes this a difficult task, but assuming she went for the best wisdom score she could (it's 18 right? RIGHT??) i personally would purchase a Headband of Wisdom (+2) which provides +2 wisdom for 4,000gp and a Cloak of Resistance (+2) which adds a +2 bonus to saving throws for another 4,000gp. This totals at 8,000 gp.

With the remaining 2,000gp i would normally stock up on potions and stuff however she complained of being the squishiest person. Therefore, i would recommend a Ring of Protection (+1) for the +1 to AC.

HOWEVER, unless that diablo armor is comparable to a +1 breastplate (totaling +7 AC with max Dex mod of +3) then i would buy the breastplate for her instead (costing 1,00 gp).

Obviously, her weapon should be a starknife (Desna's favored weapon). These cost 24gp, but surely any decent Cleric has their god's favored weapon (or OP is nice enough to give it to her, right? RIGHT??) If we end up with the Armor instead of the ring, that leaves 1,000gp for shit like potions.

i'm sure someone else out there can make this much better though.

(all information found of the pathfinder srd)

>>17906037
Oh, right.
Auror learned Insulation, Flight, Deflect missiles,
and Silence.
Be careful when casting Silence. This prevents spellcasting on the caster, and anyone in a wide area around him. The area fades over about a minute, and for the last 15 seconds, only the caster is silent.

>>17906054
I vote lair

>>17906117
Lair.
Blink frogs, Hydras, Electric eels, fast-moving Snakes, an Oklob plant, and ... surprises on Lair:8.

Lemme check the MR on those...

>>17906054
Lair for maximum loot and XP

>>17906169
MADNESS REIGNS!
in swamp....full of deadly hydras

>>17906117
>>17906181
The only non-trivial mob above lair:8 are Blink Frogs (for your team).

These nasty buggers teleport around and have a certain amount of resist magic. Not all that much, but enough to be annoying.

What tactics would you like to use against them? You have:
Max, armed with 4 stun bombers
Mentor, who can place traps and slow enemies with ice
Auror, master of a lot of Harry Potter magic, Haste, Condense shield, Summon ice beasts/imps, Swiftness, Insulation, Flight, Deflect missile,
a Cleric of Desna, who's low level atm,
a Blastoise, who doesn't have any non-lethal options,
and a Minecrafter, who can reshape the dungeon.

The anti-magic orb will stop them blinking AWAY, but they can still blink closer and blink AROUND like retards.

>>17906245
You also have 2 WoW teams.
They can CC (though the frogs might resist some of it), deal damage, cast stuns, heal, tank, debuff, buff, and generally toolbox about.

Left to their own devices, they will attempt to tank/heal/cc spam/stunspam the frogs, unless you have another idea.

>>17906037
Let's not risk the dwarfs getting holy water.
Let's have our heavy teleport support cut holes in the outer walls on each level so we can reinsert our troops an needed.

Does control teleport work on foes?

>>17906316
You can indeed cut quick-reinsertion tubes and will do so.
cTele is self only, sadly. Given that your Teleporter already -is- cTele, it's a bit useless.

you know, looking at the fact that we have, what, 8 WoW healers with mana the regenerates by the second as opposed to spell slots that take 8 hours of rest by the cleric..... why the fuck did we bring a level 1 cleric of Desna?

>>17906245
Have the auror cast haste on Max. Maybe he can stun the blink <insert creature>s before they start derping around and annoying us.

>>17906339
>why the fuck did we bring a level 1 cleric of Desna?
XP Sink, I'd assume. Or someone just wanted one and nobody objected.

>>17906339
The annoying thing about the bastards is that they're constantly derping around. They derp towards you if they know you exist and otherwise derp randomly.

It's a given that Max will try to shoot them if they're far away, but there's a hazard that two of them will blink next to your Cleric and tear her to pieces in a few hits.

>>17906366
There's also a "Hazard" that they'll go for Blastoise, the Auror, the Mentor, or your WoW tanks, all of whom can tank their damage easily, or your WoW healers/dpsers, who will tap one of their many CC buttons and live through it easily.
But since there's a nonzero chance of one of your dudes eating dirt, I'm consulting with you before I roll the dice and auto the fight.

>>17906366
I suggested the haste on Max so Max could possibly respond faster than they could blink. As for the cleric she should probably get a ranged weapon like a crossbow or something if shes restricted to D&D tech and stay towards the center of the group. That way shes likely to die a little less quickly

>>17906366
Why not build some cover then?
Put a tube of metal around the squishy xp sink, and remove it once we stun the frogs?
Is there a limit to the aurors use of haste? If not, we should haste eveyone.
Do we need the cleric in the room to collect xp? if not, just have her wait upstairs with blastoise and the minecrafter

rolled 58, 96, 81, 61, 68 = 364

>>17906447
The limit is that if you are hasted for more than 5 minutes, you will !!GLOW!!.
That mutates you (though the Auror can cure it) and makes you blow up for some minor damage.
If you are hasted for 30 minutes continuously, you will !!***xx[BR]420 !!GLOW!! [MLG]NLxx***!!, which basically means you are a walking magical detonation.

But otherwise, it can be cast on any and every target.

plan:
>Build cover
>Squishies in the back
>Tanks in the front
>Shoot the enemy if it's far away, stun it if it's close
>Gogogo

Enacting plan!

Music:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7UzgvogWiI

>>17906483
"Bring it on."
After checking his Fire mail is working, Max releases the TMAR's limiter, and the Stun launchers start glowing a dull red. 40 stun bombs per second of Hasted, Increase attack speeded, Overclocked, quad-wielded stun fury erupt and blanket the area.

"Target still moving, too close to fire!"

Two of the Blink frogs make it through.
Your Auror and Mentor look at each-other, and nod.
"FREEZE"
Both freeze solid.

Shortly after this, a team of over-eager and over-geared players jump on the still twitching corpses and jam stunrods on them repeatedly.

Blastoise and the Minecrafter stand ready to guard the Cleric from any sudden attack from the thorougly stunned blink frogs.

The Cleric simply sits there, with a "wtf do I do?" expression on her face.

You loot everything.

>>17906550

---

LOOT

---

Lair:7 done
A bunch of shit monsters (110 DOSH)
4 Hydrae (80)
1 Oklob (5)
Sigmund (5)
Purgy (5)
Blork (5)

Random dungeoncrap (50 DOSH)
3 Potion of Speed
1 Scroll of Torment
17 Spellbook (85 DOSH)

Yes, Hydras are 20 DOSH each.

>>17906674
Lair:8 proves to be interesting.
"Elephant Temple."
There are a few things to note here:

There are tons of Elephants spammed across the level.
There is a Hydra here.
There is a Hut containing 3 Bears, and 3 Potions of porridge. It is emitting reality distortions.
There are Beetles burrowing through the ground here. They could be very useful to requisitions.
In the Elephant temple itself, there are many statues of Dire Elephants. You expect these will come to life and attack you.

How will you proceed, noble Looters?

>>17906713
We should check the hut first and foremost, not without scrying it firsts if there's something else than Bears and porridge, namely, what is causing the distortion.
Delicious porridge.

rolled 51 = 51

>>17906713
"The Usual" assumes you will create open firing lanes with traps and magic wards to slow the enemy down, protect squishies, and spam craptons of CC, Stun Rod, and Stun Bombs.

The biggest issue is inside the temple itself. Lots of narrow corridors, and Dire Elephants hit FUCKING HARD. Mentor, Blastoise and the WoW tanks can reliably tank one with healing support, but the Auror and Max will suffer, and everyone else will just crumple.

>>17906753
Lore check!

>>17906776
These three bears are from "Goldilocks and the 3 Bears". Though you weren't sent here to correct canon distortions, you might as well do so, there may be a bonus.

Also I'm not screwing you and making shit up. That hut actually IS a randomly generated level part that can appear on Lair:8.

>>17906815
I have seen the huts myself, but I usually find the one full of BEEEEES.
Yeah, lets loot the bears. And the delicious porridge.

>>17906776
So, how will you deal with narrow corridors FIGHTAN vs. hard hitting opponents that can appear behind you?

>>17906776
We should just use our teleport support to make some cover that blocks any passage, a nice big solid wall with holes in it to shoot through. That way we won't need to tank hits from our enemies.
Isn't that the basic MO for dealing with stronger opponents while we have teleport support?

rolled 94, 71, 11, 10, 41, 20, 58 = 305

>>17906925
That it is.

Rollan!

>>17906945
Oh dear! It seems your WoW players, Blastoise and Minecrafter are sucking complete ass.

Good thing the Dire elephants, at 20, are sucking complete ass too.

That, and Max got a 94. They're all stunned. And if they weren't stunned, the Mentor and Auror's slowdown traps at 71 would have got them.

The final roll? Was for nothing at all. I accidentally put in the wrong number. honest.

---

LOOT

---

Lair:8 done
A bunch of shit monsters (140 DOSH)
>Goldilocks' 3 bears (100)
5 Hydrae (100)
6 Dire Elephant (60)
1 Boring Beetle (5)
1 Oklob (5)
Sigmund (5)
Purgy (5)
Blork (5)

Random dungeoncrap (55 DOSH)
1 Glorious Artefact Bow (+3,+4 Bow, Venom, Lev, Str+4, Dex+3, Stlth++) (10)
3 Potion of Speed
1 Scroll of Torment
17 Spellbook (80 DOSH)

>>17906945
Guy who suggested the cleric, now here, but late.

Has anyone built him yet?

You have four choices:
>Shoals
>Snake pit
>Slime pits
>Main dungeon path

You have an Acid-absorbing mail for 1 person for the Slime pits.
For the Shoals, the following forces report that they CAN SWIM:
Blastoise
WoW Team
Auror
Mentor
Minecrafter
The following forces CANNOT SWIM:
Max
Cleric
For the Snake Pits, you have 6 people who can Cleanse Poison.
And for the Main dungeon, you have your main team.

>>17907048
You have a level 4 Cleric (aiming to be lev20 by the time you clear Zot), but nobody has built her yet. I'd control her myself but sadly I have no idea how to pathfind.

>>17907099
Ok, I'll build the cleric quick using Hero Lab and post the stats.

Basically, same spells and such as 3.5, few minor tweaks.

>>17907031
>1 Glorious Artefact Bow (+3,+4 Bow, Venom, Lev, Str+4, Dex+3, Stlth++) (10)
Glorious indeed.

>>17907099
No Shoals until we have a way to fend off projectiles. unless we have those already.
I say, lets go for the snake pit.

>>17907099
Blastoise would like to use SURF to help either max or your cleric navigate the Shoals. However, its surf is a HOLY SURF, and you do not wish to give the Dwarves any holy water.

Speaking of which, you weren't pursued. The Dwarves seem content to let you clear the Dungeon, and Armok has calmed down.

>>17907139
His Surf blesses already existing water? Interesting, I thought he would only have to use his own water for Surf if there was no water nearby.

>>17907136
>No Shoals until we have a way to fend off projectiles.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't the strongest ranged things you'll find in Shoals Merfolk aquamancers and Merfolk javelineers?
Yes they hit hard, but they take at least 4 hits to slay you, and you have 8 healers.

>>17907136
Snake pit. Enemies spit poison (Max reports he is IMMUNE to this, owing to being made of metal), cast spells (the Greater Naga can cast Lehudib's spear? Or is it Iskendun's blast? Either way, it hurts), there are some fast-moving snakes, and that's basically it.

Would you like to do the SNAKE PIT?

>>17907187
Surf summons a wave of water. This wave can crash into opponents to hurt them, or you can ... surf it ... like a wave.

rolled 2, 2, 2 = 6

>>17907139
For health. Point buy for stats?

>>17907215
You can go with the Elite array (15, 14, 13, 12, 10, 8). Assign to Str/Con/Dex/Int/Wis/Cha as desired. Apply racial mods, whatever they are for your chosen race, and off you go.

>>17907246
Ok, that's far easier

>>17907210
Greater Nagas cast Iskenderun's Mystic Blast, which hurts less than the spear. But still hurts.
>They also resist any resistable spell (magic immune), so don't bother trying to disintegrate them
Welp, stunspam time..

>>17907296
You opt to go for the Snake pit!

>OP IS NOW LOADING: SNAKE PIT NOTES

>>17907319
By following a "Tanks in front, squishies in back, spam stun bombs, slow the enemy down with traps, ensure you have superior cover, if enemies close in melee stun them", you are able to avoid a lot of the damage.

I didn't write down exactly HOW many naga I encountered on each level; checking my Morgue file.

rolled 69, 68, 99, 55, 50 = 341

>>17907335
20 Naga, 4 Casternaga, 8 Warriornaga per level, in addition to the usual Snakespam. Right.
That makes packs of 5Naga + 1Caster + 2 Warrior your common enemy. Let's see how well you do.

Cant we just drain the dungeon? We can teleport out some parts of the wall to form a drain in a way that won't cause the problem of delta p or things getting sucked away.
Once we drain it, we just run around stunning and teleporting away the inhabitants

We have teleporters, we should use them intellegently

>>17907355
Captured without loss, and injuries healed. All is well.
Your WoWers have fought "Group of intelligent humanoids" packs before, many times, and relish at the opportunity for combat.

>>17907367
There is ROCK around the dungeon. While you're not the first person to suggest draining the Shoals, the only place it could drain to is "somewhere else in the dungeon".

>>17907389
I'm thinking he's implying we should make a "new" area of the dungeon to drain it to, using our teleporters

>>17907335
Why let them close to melee range when we have teleported cover, and our old favorate of boxing foes?

I thought we could use the deep trench that surrounds the dungeon, or is that not as deep as i assumed?

>>17907389
There are two creatures in particular that you need to worry about in Snake:1-4.
On two different levels, both out in the open, are Azrael and Nergalle.

Azrael will be difficult to capture:
Freezing him solid will kill him, as he is a fire elemental.
Stunning him doesn't work, as he's a fire elemental, and has no fleshy parts.
How will you capture him?

>I thought we could use the deep trench that surrounds the dungeon, or is that not as deep as i assumed?
Indeed you may. You will attempt to drain the shoals into the deep, narrow trench.

>>17907403
Heavy teleport support cannot open up enough space for that much water in a reasonable time.

>>17907451

>>17907462
Could we teleport a stone box around him and capture him that way?

>>17907451
>>17907427
You can indeed Box Azrael to contain him.
To do so, you'll need to Tank him for 30 seconds while the box gets ready. While this alone isn't sufficient to capture him, it will lock him in place.

>>17907451
Teleported walls, nets and boxes, petrificus totalus, stupefy, assorted traps, Charm monster, cages, we have a lot of options for a fire elemental. If he tries burning or melting his way out use cold and water sparingly to weaken him and protect the restraints.

Also, can kali try talking to armok again now that he's calmed down?

rolled 18, 30 = 48

Also, Nergalle tends to summon a Spam of undead spectres around him.
Your Auror will focus on Abjuring, and your Mentor will spam Staff of Negation, if any spectres are up.

>>17907549
This all works. I'd say you're well on your way to earning that bulb back.
Kali tries to talk to Armok.

rolled 2, 75, 9, 60, 67 = 213

>>17907558
Kali is unable to talk to Armok.
Okawaru reports he can't talk to Armok, either. In fact, Armok's been dead silent since he arrived, and provides no hints as to what he wants, what he appreciates, or what his goals are.

Let's see how your plan works for Nergalle and Azrael!

>>17907504
/TG/ RECRUIT CR 3
Male Aasimar Cleric 4
NG Medium Outsider (Native)
Init -1; Senses Darkvision (60 feet); Perception +15
--------------------
DEFENSE
--------------------
AC 15, touch 9, flat-footed 15 (+6 armor, -1 Dex)
hp 36 (4d8+12)
Fort +6, Ref +0, Will +9
Resist acid 5, cold 5, electricity 5
--------------------
STATISTICS
--------------------
Str 12, Dex 8, Con 13/15, Int 10, Wis 18/20, Cha 16
Base Atk +3; CMB +4; CMD 13
Feats Flagbearer, Toughness +4
Traits Iron Liver, Valashmai Veteran: Perception
Skills Acrobatics -5, Appraise +4, Climb +0, Diplomacy +5, Escape Artist -5, Fly -5, Linguistics +5, Perception +15, Ride -5, Spellcraft +4, Stealth -5, Swim -3
Languages Celestial, Common, Dwarven, Infernal
SQ Aura (Ex), Channel Positive Energy 2d6 (6/day) (DC 15) (Su), Cleric Domain: Liberation, Cleric Domain: Luck, Liberation (4 rounds/day) (Su), Luck Variant Channeling (±1 Sacred), Spontaneous Casting
Combat Gear - Diablo surprise, Starknife (5); Other Gear Belt of Mighty Constitution, +2, Headband of Inspired Wisdom, +2, Wand of Bane, Wand of Bless, Flag with Party Logo

--------------------
SPECIAL ABILITIES
--------------------
Aura (Ex) The Cleric has an aura corresponding to his deity's alignment.
Bit of Luck (8/day) (Sp) Target takes the higher of 2d20 for a d20 roll.
Channel Positive Energy 2d6 (6/day) (DC 15) (Su) A good cleric can channel positive energy to heal the living and injure the undead; an evil cleric can channel negative energy to injure the living and heal the undead.
Cleric Domain: Liberation Granted Powers: You are a spirit of freedom and a staunch foe against all who would enslave and oppress.
Cleric Domain: Luck Granted Powers: You are infused with luck, and your mere presence can spread good fortune.
Damage Resistance, Acid (5) You have the specified Damage Resistance against Acid attacks.
Damage Resistance, Cold (5) You have the specified Damage Resistance against Cold attacks.
Damage Resistance, Electricity (5) You have the specified Damage Resistance against Electricity attacks.
Darkvision (60 feet) You can see in the dark (black and white vision only).
Daylight (1/day) (Sp) Daylight once per day.
Flagbearer Grant bonuses to allies who see your flag
Liberation (4 rounds/day) (Su) Act as if you had freedom of movement for 4 rounds/day.
Luck Variant Channeling (±1 Sacred) Bonus to one roll/penalty on all rolls
Spontaneous Casting The Cleric can convert stored spells into Cure or Inflict spells.
Valashmai Veteran: Perception +1 trait bonus

rolled 97, 11, 33, 11, 6 = 158

>>17907585
"Heh. Just need to wait here, line up this sho- Awfuck she saw me."
Nergalle starts spamming Spectres, after noticing Max trying to get the drop on her. Max's shots go wide, hitting the Spectres more than anything else.

The Auror and Mentor are on top of their game. The Spectres are dispelled as soon as they appear, and a Protecto Horriblis sees Nergalle's drainspam neutralised for the most part.

The WoW team, sensing their opportunity, rush into attack Nergalle ...
... without noticing that Max has saturated the area with stun bombs. Woops.

The Minecrafter, tired of this bullshit, calmly walks up to Nergalle and starts constructing a box around her.

Nergalle has the presence of mind to move away, and smack the Minecrafter around a bit. The Minecrafter steps back, and starts munching on a porkchop.

>Round 2

>>17907585
WoW shaman can bind elementals. Boom, he's ours.

Bind Elemental
9% of base mana, 30 yd range
1.5 sec cast
Binds the target hostile elemental for up to 50 sec. The bound unit is unable to move, attack or cast spells. Any damage caused will release the target. Only one target can be bound at a time.

>>17907653
THIS time, Max concentrates.
A Hail of stunfire impacts into Nergalle, who deftfully dodges INTO most of the fire.
You capture Nergalle.

It's a few minutes before the Auror and the Mentor are able to convince the WoW team to get up off the floor. Blastoise grumbles at the indignity of being unable to splash water on their faces.

>>17907656
Bulb4u! Also locks can banish.

>>17907656
There's a problem with this: Azrael is an efreet.
And efreets are demons according to the knowledge bots.
I think the Warlock can do something about those, though.

rolled 33, 20, 72, 77, 8, 51 = 261

Dice Azrael. 6th is for your teleporter.

rolled 2 = 2

>>17907716
Oh. Also, someone needs a willpower roll.

>>17907653
Teleport in walls to corral the foe, stun bomb them through holes teleported out of the walls.
Do we get faster boxing if we have boxes readymade? if so, prepare some of various sizes and shapes, leaving them on the surface for easy access

>>17907705
I am not going to complain about this "slip".

>>17907732
Goddamnit Blastoise, get it together.

>>17907716
>>17907732
Max takes point, firing his Stun bombers into the hell hounds around Azrael. Although he bears the fire mail, Max forgets to walk up to tank Azrael. D'oh!
The Auror starts spamming disable spells at Azrael, but none of them stick. The Mentor lays traps, but Azrael walks around them.
Your WoW team fares better.
"Don't stand at the front, point him away from the raid, heal the tank", and a co-ordinated effort leaves you with one very well-tanked Azrael who forgets to target the healer.

Blastoise sees the Fire Elementals incoming. Knowing they aren't worth much to capture, AND he's a water type ...
... He nails them with Holy Spout on reflex.

Your Teleporter eventually drops in a box, leaving a 1-tile hole where the Warrior tank was standing, which the Minecrafter quickly plugs with some random block of rock.

>>17907787
Through a hole in the box, a Gnome warlock peers, laughing as he shrugs off the Fiery attacks of Azrael
I mean, getting spam healed by 8 healers.

After a few minutes of attempts, you capture yourself an Azrael.

Now what are you going to do about all these puddles of Holy water?

>>17907787
Our cleric gives everyone a couple point bonus on saves and attack rolls. One of the reasons he was suggested

>>17907787
We'd better get rid of that holy water before the dwarves find it.

>>17907846
Can we evaporate it, "defile" it or teleport in a good amount of sponges?

>>17907823
have the WoW mage use fire to evaporate it.

Hopefully it doesn't make holy steam instead.

rolled 56 = 56

>>17907846
>>17907881
You can indeed sponge up the water and evaporate it. You do so.

---

LOOT

---

Lair:8 done, D:10 done, Snake:4 done.
A bunch of shit monsters (265 DOSH)
>Goldilocks' 3 bears (100)
5 Hydrae (100)
6 Dire Elephant (60)
1 Azrael (20)
1 Nergalle (10)
1 Boring Beetle (5)
1 Oklob (5)
Sigmund (5)
Purgy (5)
Blork (5)

Random dungeoncrap (75 DOSH)
1 Glorious Artefact Bow (+3,+4 Bow, Venom, Lev, Str+4, Dex+3, Stlth++) (10)
3 Potion of Speed
1 Scroll of Torment
18 Spellbook (90 DOSH)

On Snake:4, a Death Knight was hit by a Glaive of Distortion. The Anti-teleport gem flashed green, and he went nowhere.

Rolling WISDOM...

>>17907910
"Watch out, lads." Max reports as he spots a trap on his visor, and the Auror reports it with detect unseen.
"Zot trap. Nasty. Don't step on one."
The Minecrafter moves to wall it up, when the Mentor stops him.

"wait. That thing's a powerful trap, ya? I reckon we can USE it."
Mentor suggest you RIP THE ZOT TRAP OUT OF THE GROUND using teleport support, and LOOT it.

Do this y/n?

>>17907950
Would our Minecrafter be able to smack it into item form?

otherwise, loot it

>>17907950
YES
What could go wrong, apart horrible things?

>>17907950
>>17907978
You have looted a Zot trap!
The Minecrafter carries it around with him. He types in text
"swear, when you guys said loot everything..."

>>17907999
We meant everything. If we were allowed to, we'd leave this world with a big hole where the dungeon's supposed to be.

>>17907999
Snake5 seems to be a worry.

All three existing staircases would land you directly into a world of trouble: An open room with no cover, surrounded by things that can shoot you with hurty magics.

How will you deal with this?

>>17908038
Leave no stone unturned
Leave no life form where it originally was.

Don't zot traps always unleash their fury upon the nearest intruder, and not on the person who triggers them?

>>17908049
MAKE some cover!
Teleport in walls wherever possible, and put firing holes wherever needed

>>17908049
Can we teleport a stairway elsewhere to a safer place?

>>17908038
˙˙˙ʇı ǝpısuı ǝɹ,noʎ ǝןıɥʍ ɯɹoɟ uǝʌǝ ʇɥbıɯ ʇı ˙ʎɐʍ ɹǝɥʇıǝ uoǝbunp sıɥʇ uı ǝןoɥ bıq ɐ ǝq ןן,ǝɹǝɥʇ ˙ʎɹɹoʍ ʇ,uop

>>17908093
I bet Armok is responsible for this!

>>17908093
Wait what the fuck was that?
Reality distortion meter just SPIKED, hard.

>>17908084
Teleporting a stairway? Haha, that's such a hilariously meta idea (teleporting a symbol) that A. I'm allowing it to work, and B, giving you a bulb.

WHAT? BULBS IS EVOLVING?

>>17908093
Let's teleport the minecrafter out of the dungeon and have him place some blocks around it, with several pillars from top to bottom around the outside, so that if this place follows dwarffortress physics it will be unable to collapse

>>17908137
B A B A Cancel evolution! Lets see what happens if we earn a common sense point while we have all bulbs red!

>>17908137
PICK A BONUS!

>1. Green Bulbs
Green bulbs are Intuition. If you are taking an action that isn't BAD, but could be made REALLY GOOD, a Green bulb will turn Yellow, and your action will be upgraded. Any new bulb you earn is, by default, green.
>2. Double Red
Every time you would earn a red bulb, you instead earn two!
>3. Chance
There is a 20% chance that, when you use a bulb, it will not burn out.
>4. Powerful Intuition
Burning a bulb deliberately will now provide roughly double the information
>5. Extra bulb
Boring, you get an extra bulb.

>>17908137
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwT8FOyXkMw
gotta have the music.

Green is my choice

>>17908149
Good idea. You reinforce the dungeon.
... There's that Armok Wrath again ...
The minecrafter teleports out before he's impaled by crossbow bolts and savaged by dogs, then a team of Skinless Dwarves armed with rapidfiring crossbows comes to dig out whatever changes he made.

>>17908198
Double red.

>>17908223
Yep, looks like Armok is hell bent on destroying this dungeon. Just what the hell is he trying to accomplish with that, making sure that the Orb of Zot never gets out?

rolled 5 = 5

>>17908271
Wis check. You get knowledges on 80+

>>17908282
sigh

>>17908282
You have no idea what Armok's motive is.

>>17908223
Is there anyway we can get the minecrafter some bedrock so they can't dismantle his supports?

Anyway we could get Steve some Bedrock so they can't dismantle his supports?

>>17908206
>>17908235
So Snake5 plan:
The usual (Max shoot a lot, Auror buffing spells and magic wards to slow down enemies, Mentor lays traps and slows enemies with ice, WoWers spam CCs and stunrod anything that gets close, Blastoise runs defense, Minecrafter ensures you don't get flanked and always have some good cover to shoot behind, and your Pathfinder cleric just sits there makin' buffs)

Also, am I reading correct that the Cleric lets you reroll something up to 8 times per day?
If so, you are allowed to use this at any time.

>>17908305
Dwarves can tunnel Bedrock (Gabbro). Steve Cannot.

rolled 49 = 49

>>17908328
It's specifically for him, but I suppose since this is a quest, it might be changed slightly.

Reroll the wisdom

>>17908288
Well, we do know something now: we need to get this finished as soon as possible. Lets do this as if we were under an invisible (but probably very real) time limit.

>>17908328
When does the current day end? Maybe we can reroll the knowledge check, but isn't completely necessary right now.

>>17908198
Double Red

>>17908359
>When does the current day end?
When he taps the Revitalization Device for a daily rest. 8 rerolls per Combat4u!

>>17908351
We might need the rolls for a life or death situation, you know.

>>17908370
In that case, ignore >>17908374

>>17908369
>>17908137
DOUBLE RED it is.

Let's see how your Snake:5 plan goes.

9d100. Max, Max, Auror Mentor, Auror Mentor, WoWers, WoWers, Blastoise Crater, Blastoise Crafter, Snakes.

>>17908223
Let's have minecrafter place a lave source block in a channel leading to the trench, and then pour water over the edge in a manner that keeps the source block safe, but will form cobblestone in the trench. Or we could try not risking the dwarves geting magma to play with?

Have the mages scry the portals to hell, pandemonium, ect and see what's going on there, and also scry each rune of zot and the orb of zot to see if the dwarves have been mucking with them.
Let's have kali chat to the other gods and see if they'll help us stop the dungeon from being obliterated, they keep some of their stuff there after all (altars and such)
We could have minecrafter flood the trench, get a bubblehead charm, and block it up if we need to.
Let's teleport some reinforcing stone into that trench, just enough to keep it standing, maybe also write a note to armok by arranging a dungeon level so that the blocks form text when viewed as we would view it in a game of dwarffortress.
Is armok canonically the player? I think i remember something like that.

rolled 60, 1, 48, 24, 41, 88, 49, 44, 50 = 405

>>17908395
Dice
To clarify: It's taking 5 rerolls for each of your heroes, and the WoWers are only rerolling their very derpiest.

>>17908412
I'm betting the Cleric is becoming expensive as hell after this mission, isn't he?

rolled 42, 80, 93, 15, 5, 61, 12, 75, 66 = 449

>>17908412
Looks like you dodged a 1!

Max, boosted by silence and stealth charms, peeks around a corner. He opts to sit and camp there, while a team heads around to block off any other exits.
Though a botch alerts snakes, the Auror, Mentor, and Minecrafter are able to seal off any other exits before the Snakes can overwhelm them.
The WoWers stand ready, and Max gives the signal to start teleporting OUT cover in the center of the room.

It, gentlemen, is party time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgMAxp0R5qc
Once again, 40 shots per second of Stunning fury proves to be room-clearingly effective.

"OW! Fucking sonofa-"
Max eats a few Mystic blasts to the face, sending him flat on his ass. A combat res later picks him up and he continues his attack.

The Auror and Mentor move in, ensuring any reinforcing snakes are blocked, and the Auror assists in silencing the Guardian naga.

The WoWers file in one by one, taking turns in turning the Guardian serpents away from the group and stunning them one by one.

By the time this is done, the Entrance hallway to Snake:5 is clear.

>next

>>17908466
Planning a methodical attack on the rune chamber, pulling snakes one by one, is interrupted...
... by WoW team 2 loudly announcing "gogogo" and rushing in, alerting the enemy base!

"Fuck it." The rest of your troops move up, Max firing through teleported holes in the wall to shell anyone advancing.
The Mentor proves his worth - protecting the WoW squad by juggling literally every incoming snake via clever trap placement.
Your Auror has been applying haste to everyone, and in a moment of valor, starts charging up AoE confusion attacks of his own.

The Minecrafter busts down a wall, sights a pack of Naga for your teleporter, and immediately rebuilds the wall. Stunbombs rain down upon them.

And Blastoise ... seems content to chill the hell out.

>>17908532
>And Blastoise ... seems content to chill the hell out.
Blizzard time?

>>17908532
After a few resurrects and healing, and a bit of rebuff, Snake is clear.

---

LOOT

---

Lair:8 done, D:10 done, Snake:4 done.
A bunch of shit monsters (330 DOSH)
>Goldilocks' 3 bears (100)
10 Greater Naga (150)
5 Hydrae (100)
6 Dire Elephant (60)
1 Azrael (20)
1 Nergalle (10)
1 Boring Beetle (5)
1 Oklob (5)
Sigmund (5)
Purgy (5)
Blork (5)

Random dungeoncrap (85 DOSH)
1 Glorious Artefact Bow (+3,+4 Bow, Venom, Lev, Str+4, Dex+3, Stlth++) (10)
3 Potion of Speed
1 Scroll of Torment
18 Spellbook (90)
4 Zot Traps (5)
1 Rune of Zot (25)

Good job lads, you've broke even!

Where to now?
>Shoals
>Slime
>Main dungeon branch

>>17908588
Edit: 4 Zot traps are 20, they are 5 each.

>>17908588
800 > 415

>>17908588
I'd say slime. Lets let loot everything that moves!
Also, remember, WoW mages can freeze slimes solid according to the Viscidus battle.

>>17908643
We used 800.

I think it may be a good idea to go investigate and possibly exterminate the dwarves, as their behavior and repeated dm hints suggest that they intend to destroy the dungeon, and if that happens while we're looting it we lose all our heros and fail the mission.

>>17908643
Well, nobody said it had to be hard to turn a profit. Such is the nature of Looter teams, after all.

Also, I'm giving a Nerf to that cleric's ability to 2 rerolls per fight, on the assumption that a "fight" consists of more than one round of combat.

>>17908661
Only Viscidus can be frozen in this manner, though conventional slimes are vulnerable to many different forms of attacks.

It is 2am! We've gone far today.
Shall we spend the next 2 hours riding the Autosage into the slime pits y/n?

>>17908670
Come to think of it, I never did get back to you on scrying the hells/pan. Lemme get on that.

>>17908693
>Also, I'm giving a Nerf to that cleric's ability to 2 rerolls per fight
Such is life. Still, two rerolls can be invaluable.

And yeah, lets do the slime pits.

>>17908404
>Have the mages scry the portals to hell, pandemonium, ect and see what's going on there, and also scry each rune of zot and the orb of zot to see if the dwarves have been mucking with them.

The Auror reports:
Serpentine Rune is with you.
Barnacled rune is guarded by merfolk at the bottom of the shoals.
Silver rune is guarded by dragons and giants at the bottom of the Vaults.
Golden rune is cloudy. Auror sees a large amount of powerful mummies.
Slimy rune is cloudy, Auror receives image of a giant yellow jelly.
Abyssal rune is extremely cloudy. Auror sees jack shit.
Demonic rune is on an island surrounded by Hellions.
Glowing rune is guarded by Mnoleg, a demon lord.
Magical rune is guarded by Lom Lobon, a demon lord.
Fiery rune is guarded by Cerebov, a demon lord.
Dark rune is guarded by Gloorx Vloq, a demon lord.
Iron rune of Zot is cloudy. Auror receives images of Dispater, a demon lord.
Cocytus rune is cloudy. Auror receives images of Antaeus, a titan.
Bone rune is cloudy. Auror receives images of Ereshkigal, a demon lord.

... and ...

Obsidian rune of Gehenna is right in the fucking dining room of a bunch of dwarves.

>>17908750
As for the portals to various places:
The portals to the Vestibule of Hell are open. One of them has a trail of sand leading from it.
The Vestibule itself does not contain Geryon or his horn.
The portals to the Abyss ...
... Shit son, they have a PIPE going to them.
Same with the portals to Pandemonium.
The pipe connects ...
... straight to the Water Pressuriser!

>>17908750
So Armok let them have his rune, and they're trying to get the Orb of Zot.

That's not good.

>>17908404
>Let's have kali chat to the other gods and see if they'll help us stop the dungeon from being obliterated, they keep some of their stuff there after all (altars and such)
The Gods report that every champion they have sent has perished or been lost. Okawaru reports that one of his priests, a dwarf with a stupid hat, is still down there somewhere probably getting pissdrunk. Beogh reports that one of his priests, a Saint, was killed attempting to attack some Dwarves.

The Gods are forbidden to interfere directly. Except Xom. Xom is a cuntbag like that. Nobody likes Xom.

>>17908750
>>17908790
Mother of of all fucks...
Then, why are they planning to destroy the dungeon?

>>17908834
Well, being a person who has played a bit of Dwarf Fortress, the reason I'd destroy it is simple.

Because it'd be fucking hilarious.

>>17908834
You were unable to determine Armok's motives. But you do know that there's a trench around the dungeon and there's a 1 kilometer cube water pressuriser, which is currently empty, hooked up to the Abyss and Pan, and one of the nobles NEEDS HOLY WATER BADLY.

Now, combine the useful facts out of these. What do you think Armok intends to do?

>>17908867
Flood the entire place with holy water.
Oh god, if they find out about blastoise. . . we could set up a trap. . .

>>17908867
A FTW device made out of holy water? I thought that noble was just rambling mad.

>>17908886
This is crazy enough to work.

>>17908867
Flood the hells, pan, ect, with holy water, killing everything inside, and possibly move in, possibly just kill everything and suicide. They seem to intend to destroy EVERYTHING.
If we're lucky, they want conquest, if not, they just want to kill everything, including themselves eventually.
We need to stop this shit and be VERY CAREFUL with our holy water.

>>17908886
Here's some copy pasta about what the Orb does if you pick it up.

Picking up the Orb is difficult, as it actively resists Apportation attempts. Once it's in your possession, numerous terrible things happen. Teleport control becomes permanently disabled, and even standard teleports can take longer to kick in. All portals to Pandemonium, the Abyss, and the branches of Hell (but not the Vestibule itself) are immediately sealed. All floors of the dungeon will now begin spawning Abyss- and Pandemonium-type monsters (including Pandemonium lords), at a greatly increased speed, most of which will generate just beyond your field of vision.

Find out whether Armok wants to Pick up this orb, Protect this orb, or does not care about the orb, using a passage from the above.

>>17908935
Well, if Armok wants to flood the abyss and pan, then he'd want to keep the portals open, which means he wants to protect the orb.

>>17908915
It was pretty obvious they wanted to kill things with holy water from OPs posts, and also pretty obvious that they could kill the dungeon, to anyone who's familiar with dwarffort. Nice foreshadowing! They probably are waiting for holy water to start the machine, and if they get it they will likely activate it immediately.

>>17908967
He could intend to flood them before picking it up?

>>17908967
Ding!

You have established:

ARMOK took over the Hell of its native canon, and drove out the Demons.
The Hell of its native canon crossed over into Crawl's Gehenna.
Via this passage, Armok entered this world.
Asmodeus was in his way, so Armok had his champions kill Asmodeus.
Armok has had his champions build a Fuck-the-world device to flood the Abyss and Pan with holy water.
He wants to protect the Orb, so the portals remain open.
He is willing, to collapse the entire dungeon should it prove necessary, but will avoid doing so if unnecessary since the collapse may damage the portals.

He needs Holy Water to complete his plan.

>>17909020
Also, he gets mad if you bugger with his Fuck the World device, but gives 0 shits about you looting the dungeon.

>>17909020
Do you wish to have Kali TELL the other gods about this plan, or KEEP IT SECRET?

>>17909064
Tell them. They might be willing to help us if we let them know what's going on.

>>17909064
Tell everyone except Xom, tell them to pretend they don't know about it around Armok.
The part of Armok not knowing what he plans is CRUCIAL.

>>17909099
>not knowing that we know what he plans
Damnit, I'm tired.

>>17909099
Smart exception. Xom would tell Armok just to be a dick.

rolled 40, 20, 92, 35, 44 = 231

>>17909081
>>17909099
Shit's on now son.

Lugonu, Cerebov, Lom Lobon, Mnoleg, and Gloorx Vloq seem to take offense to this plan.

>>17909122
Precisely why I made the exception.

>>17909138
How did the four unique Pandemonium lords find this out?

>>17909138
Via Scrying-TV:

Lugonu teleports in to wreak divine vengeance.
The ceiling collapses on her.
LUGONU HAS DIED.
Cerebov teleports in.
He is punctured to pieces via crossbow fire.
CEREBOV HAS DIED.
Lom Lobon is spamming Ball lightnings and keeping himself away from enemy line of sight.
Mnoleg teleports onto a floor. But it wasn't a floor. It was a bridge above a massive pit.
MNOLEG HAS DIED.
Gloorx Vloq teleports in, and is set upon by a massive amount of trained war dogs. He survives for a long period of time, but eventually reinforcements pierce him with bolts.
GLOORX VLOQ HAS DIED.

>>17909167
They're all Gods. They might not have altars in the temple but they're all Gods. They're on the grapevine somewhere.
Well, should I say, 4/5 of them WERE gods.

>>17909180
Well, we just made Pandemonium easier to conquer.

Shit.

>>17909180
Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit. I think Armok is onto us now.
OH SHIT

>>17909192
You learn something new every day.

rolled 43 = 43

>>17909180
The Dwarven base is suffering from caveins, massive fires, massive electrical storms, undead dogs, and swarms of ugly things.

It's taken a noticeable beating. Its booze stockpile is on fire, its craftsmen are being eaten, people are crushed/choking/dead, the dining room is now the Falling Ceiling room, swarms of hostile zombies attack.

Armok seems ...

>>17909202
Fuck pandemonium, lets go get the minimum three required runes and go for the orb ASAP.

rolled 88, 43, 60, 44, 36, 69 = 340

>>17909229
... distressed, but not overwrought or panicking.