Can I chose to hear no version?

tell us, don't just sit there with your finger up your ass.

Since you are inevitably going to tell us anyway, you may as well put forth the effort for the long version.

Let's hear it.

>>17611525
I second this. I have my own problems to deal with, nerd.

No more than twice a week, OP.

>>17611537
Maybe that's his dilemma!

>>17611542
Long

Very short version first, if people are intrigued by the premise, flesh it out into the long version.
If not the just don't tell it.

let us hear your fake group drama

The quality of the fake group stories has gotten worse, perhaps this one, which you no doubt thought up on the way home will be an improvement.

Type long version.
[spoiler]So I can TL;DR it.[/spoiler]

>>17611542
Alright, so currently I'm in a online RP which, while freeform, does involve some simple dice rolls for actions/combat.

In our party is an elven dark-magus, who is quite possibly the biggest non-completely-evil asshole PC I have ever encountered. His player is actually a pretty chill guy, but he plays his character as being a gargantuan douchebag. I'm talking arrogant as hell, near constantly rude, and a selfish bastard. He's pretty much a sociopath. The reason for him being like this is because he has no empathy. The magus literally cannot feel or understand the concept of empathy in the slightest, which is why he comes off as being such a bag of cocks.

The magus clashes a lot with the party, especially our quasi-paladin warrior chick. At one point he got her so mad, she actually took an attack roll and attempted to decapitate him. Despite being a massive cunt, our party still keeps him around do to the fact that he's exceptionally useful. He can use dark magic (which is very hard to learn in the setting), is overall an excellent magus and comes up with some highly cunning (yet sometimes morally questionable) plans that have benefited us greatly in the past. On top of that he has some odd abilities too, such as being immune to disease/poison and being unable to suffer bleeding damage unless it's excessive. I didn't know at first why his character had these abilities, but when I did find out...I was shocked to say the least.
(continuing in next post)

>>17611724
>The reason for him being like this is because he has no empathy.
So your party mage is autistic?

So this guy's in your party?

COLETTE!

Next thread.

>>17611774
or psycho/sociopathic
either way I doubt he's a fun guy to be around

>>17611545
You do realize most of us are nerds and just by being on this board you are a nerd?

My supply of giveable fucks is dwindling and they weren't exactly in high supply before.

>>17611724
So our party's travelling across the lands on a "save the kingdom of x from the evil clockwork blood-lich and his minions" quest. As we're heading towards the mountains where the lich's castle, the dark-magus pipes up and claims that his old mentor lives in a tower just a few miles north of our location. He asks if we can head over there and rest up for a bit, and also give them the opportunity to catch up with his former mentor. At first we're a bit reluctant, but as we check the maps over we see there's no settlements within sixty miles of our current location. We go with the magus' plan and make off to the direction of this supposed tower.

Now time to get into backstory a little bit. The dark-magus had a rather shitty childhood. Both of his parents (who he can't even remember) were killed when he was only around five-years old and he was taken in by this half-elf warlock fellow. The warlock apparently saw some magic potential in the boy and decided to raise him as his apprentice. He acted as the magus' mentor and taught him all about magic. The warlock eventually let the magus leave his tower when he hit his late-teen years as he supposedly wanted him to see the world.

So eventually we get to the tower and meet the magus' mentor. After only a few minutes of conversing our party comes to the conclusion that the warlock somehow manages to come off as an even larger cunt than our magus in almost every way. But whatever, the guy says he'll let us stay in his tower for a night so I decide to stay polite and refrain from punching the asshole in his smug face.
(continuing)

>Both of his parents (who he can't even remember) were killed when he was only around five-years old and he was taken in by this half-elf warlock fellow.
>parents killed
>immediately taken in by random warlock
Wasn't this guy supposed to be cunning?

>>17612148

He was 5 and probably didn't know stranger danger.

>>17612029
So we have a meal at the warlock's place and then sleep there for the night. Shortly after I wake up the next day though, our party's thief greets me.

And he had something. Papers to be precise. The thief tells me that I've "got to see this shit". I ask him where he got them first, and he tells me he found them "lying around" while he was "going for a walk" in the warlock's personal study. Whatevs, thieves will be thieves. So I take the papers and start reading them.

First off, it turns out the elf magus? He isn't an elf. In fact he technically isn't even a person. He's actually a homonculus (artificial being made from clockwork, flesh and trapped souls). Secondly, his parents? You probably guessed it. Both were killed by the douche warlock. According to the papers the warlock was trying to make a homonculus for some time but still needed a soul. One day a family of three orcs happened upon his tower and asked if they stay. He murdered the parents, then took the five-year old child and strapped him onto a device which very painfully extracted his soul/killed him.

The warlock was planning on having himself an heir. However he apparently didn't wanted to simply screw a bitch because he both A) was ugly/old as hell and therefore unlikely to get some action and B) didn't want to have to raise some stinky baby to brathood. So instead he decided to tear out the soul of an innocent five-year, put said soul through an extremely tormenting process to remove very specifics memories (such as his parents and who killed them) and then place the soul into his homunculus. As well, he claims to have tortured the five-year old for some time so that his soul would use dark magic when he was placed in the homonculus shell (in the setting, to learn dark magic you had to be a magus and have experienced an EXTREMELY agonizing event, such as having your parents killed and then being tortured by a mad warlock asshole).
(continuing)

>>17611859
Don't worry, he calls everyone a nerd.

>>17612373
If this story does not end with you murdering this warlock, I will be disappoint.

D
I
N
O
S
A
U
R
?

>>17612373
Oh yes, and the other great thing about having a homunculus according to him? You can remove certain "unneeded accessories" like the specifics parts of the brain that allow one to feel empathy. You can also apparently add things, such as a warlock-crafted immunity system that prevents death from random illnesses or poison, or an advanced magic/clockwork heart that can halt blood flow to specific areas, preventing one from bleeding out too much.

So this warlock murdered a family, tortured their five-year old child, painfully extracted his soul, screwed with his memories and then inserted the soul into a homuculus so he can have a "good and proper" heir to raise and corrupt from childhood. However it appears the warlock wasn't exactly pleased with the results of his experiment at the end. He claims that the dark-magus was "squandering his potential" and, despite being manipulated from childhood by the warlock, didn't apparently have the "right mentality" to be a true heir. So he kicked the dark-magus out of his home.

So /tg/, I ask you...what the fuck should I do now? Should I tell the magus he's an artificial freak with a tortured orc child's soul? Should I attempt to kill the warlock while I still have the opportunity? Or should I just burn these papers and tell the thief that we are to never speak of what we just read?

>>17612560
Wtf, I took a small shower and returned.

Still no continuation.

Goddaaaaammm.

>>17612626

Oh damn. You showed me OP. I'll keep my mouth shut next time.

give papers to magus.
sit back, watch fire-works.
loot whatever's left.
>profit

>>17612373
>>17612373
>>17612373

Check the lab for new child...

>>17612620

Tell us more about your character OP. so we can discuss a fitting response.

But >>17612644 sounds like the ideal plan.

>>17612644

Then cram empathy stuff into his brain so he isn't mean anymore.

pic related

>>17612661

This guy had the same idea that I had.

See if he kept the empathy-center.

Do this.
>>17612644

Then do this.
>>17612661

It's not his fault he's a dick without any empathy, quite literally.

>>17612661
>>17612661

If you've evil, ask Warlock for a homunculus of your own.

>>17612670
My character is a former landsknecht who originally became a mercenary so he could get regular money, food and shelter (his home was attacked by draco-hussars and he and his family were forced to flee when he was young). He also had a natural talent with coin, which allowed him to rake up more gold than one usually would. Once he had gotten enough money from mercenary work and low trading, he quit his profession and went to the city to seek further riches. Unfortunately he was almost immediately run out by the merchant-barons and was penniless once more. He took up adventuring and was eventually drafted into "saving the kingdom of x from the evil clockwork blood-lich and his minions".

Personality-wise my character is a morally good man who tries to help others out whenever he can, understanding what misfortune is like. He's also smart, albeit a bit arrogant and bold in his decisions.

>>17612893
So not evil then... well looks like you'll have to free the many tortured children from the basement and then get the empathy chip for Data.

>>17612644

How bat shit insane would the Magus go if you did this?

Kill the warlock for being a disgusting excuse for a person. Don't tell the magus about the papers, but do make constant remarks towards him incorporating the new knowledge you have. For example, refer to him as an orc at all times and subtly crack jokes about his clockwork heart. You and the thief will chuckle nonstop while the rest of the party wonders what the hell is up with you two.

>>17613043
Honestly? I don't know for sure. The magus sees his mentor as being the closest thing to a friend he's ever had (being an empathy-less construct raised by an utter cunt will do horrors for your social life) and respects him greatly. I can almost guarantee that there would be some serious emotional damage for the magus if I told him. It's likely he would try to kill the warlock although I can't be sure on that.

Tell the magus, kill the warlock, destroy the papers and the tower, free any trapped children.

Then attempt to have the magus understand empathy. Go on a series of wacky adventures with him where he learns the true meaning of friendship.

ok, there's no chance he'd actually be ok with it?
Meh he did what he had to do to make me the best darm dark arts magus in the world?

then side with the warlock against you?

Tell the magus, laugh at the asshole as he goes all emo-bitch when you tell he's nothing but a false person with no heart and a tortured kiddie orc soul.

Oh wait..
>>17612893

Good guy. Right.
Uh....just tell about the papers and try to help him out as inevitably suffers a nervous breakdown.

Never considered a possibility that he says "The fuck anonOP, I thought we were friends? Why would you lie to me like this?" and then zaps anonOP to hell, or the setting's equivalent.

... Well, i'm flabbergasted, and speechless.

Okay OP you've got to clearly define what it is you want to accomplish here.

1. You have clear evidence that the Warlock is a murderous monster, even moreso than his protege.
You might want to bring the warlock to justice. Or you might want to confront the warlock with his sins. or you might want to extort something the warlock with your new-found knowledge.

2. You have clear evidence of what is functionally, fundamentally wrong with the Magus.
You may want to try and fix his broken little brain, or you may just want to tell him about his past, or you may want to see if you can exploit this in any way to make yourself a profit.

I have no idea what you could possibly lose. Any way you do this, the storytiem will be awesome.

Archived.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/17611512/

>>17613243
Why would anyone "not mind" being an abomination of magiscience created to satisfy the whims of a psychotic warlock who kicked you out of your home on account of not being his perfect star child?

>>17613134

i'd tell the magus apprentice OP, one of two things happens:

A) the magus lack of empathy somehow doesn't allow him to fathom what has been done to him or he realizes he would have been weak if the warlock hadn't created him or some shit like that

B) you kill the warlock and remove an insanely powerful and demented individual from the world. congrats.

>evil clockwork blood-lich
>magitech homunculus made with tortured child souls
>draco-hussars

I'm more interesting in knowing just what the fuck kind of setting you're using. This sounds rather awesome.

>>17613476
>>17613476

because he's been built by the Warlock to be his heir, and had empathy and who knows what else tortured the fuck out of him?
Maybe he's just that fucked up that he'd be ok with it...

in the basement/lab you will find Axlotl tanks... you will have to fight some crazy constructs.

>>17613499
>>17613382
What I'm seeing coming straight up is the regular personality crisis. "Is it still I if I add the empathy chip ?"
And to follow that
>>17613520
If I was a talented DM running OP's game, I would steal the original work of Philip K. Dick and have the wacky reality they adventure in be just a record being played in the homunculus' brain, that they can alter with machinery from the warlock's lab, creating more stuff around them or deleting it.

>>17613520
Seconded. This sounds pretty fucking awesome OP.

>>17613675

idk that whole brain thing would be cool at the beginning of a campaign, seems a copout midway through to just attribute all this to 'fiddling with the brain'

>>17613520
As I mentioned beforehand, the RP is freeform. The setting is a homebrew the GM made called "Water of Devils". It's a mix of high fantasy and historical fantasy, with a lot of crazy shit (including a cathedral that eats people and ancient robots fueled by blood). The GM also seems to have a fetish for horror, blood, clockpunk and germanic/celtic culture.

>>17613675
Surprisingly, I found the name of that short story. "The electric ant".
http://cpa.caseyfulton.com/media/Philip%20K.%20Dick%20-%20The%20Electric%20Ant.rtf

A good one.

>>17613730
>The GM also seems to have a fetish for horror, blood, clockpunk and germanic/celtic culture.
Your GM has an excellent taste in fetishes.

>>17611724
TL;DR

More details of setting.

>>17613730
>clockpunk
Give your DM a brofist on my behalf.

More information of the setting ffs

>>17618669
Mate it's been over a day. I'm pretty sure the OP is gone.

>>17618669
>nobody posts in this thread for sometime, decide to go to sleep
>wake up, an hour later I come to /tg/ and see this on the front page
Welp. I suppose if you really want I could elaborate more on the setting.

The setting is pretty much a grimdark mix of horror, historical and high fantasy. Technology and culture seems to be around the 1700-1800's, although there's still some medieval elements to it.

In the setting there's three major deities - God, the Devil and the Dark One. God's sphere is technology (mostly in the form of clockpunk) and he's most popular among the human empires. He has armies of angels who are paladins of his equipped with clockwork wings who fly around in airships enforcing his will. The Devil was one of the first people in the world. For some reason God got pissed at him, came down to the world, grabbed the Devil and drowned him in the ocean. However he managed to survive, and since that days he's hateful feelings towards God having been growing into a form of magic. He controls dark magic, which harnesses negative feelings and turns it into power. His influence has been corrupting the ocean he's in for the last thousand years or so, and because of this drinking water from the ocean can cause people to gradually go insane or psychotic. Then there's the Dark One. She was actually the Devil's sister but didn't get drowned by God because she ran away like a bitch. She's the first vampire ever and discovered blood magic after she devoured some magical beings and somehow got their powers. She gains followers through secretive cults that promise people all the power they desire, while making their cultists go through rituals of cannibalism. There's also another deity, the Void. He's pretty a black hole visibly hovering nearby in space, albeit a black hole that occasionally sends down reapers to commit random acts of genocide.
(continuing)

>>17618809
Race wise there's humans (almost all cultures are germanic), elves (who are celtic clansmen with some slavic-influenced tribes), orcs (who are ruskie/mongol barbarians), dragons (they seem to be byzantine influenced), half-elves, vampies, clockwork robots and a race of weird elf-like arabs.

Honestly I don't think I can give much of a good description of the setting. I could try and convince the GM to post the details of his setting on here though if you want.

>>17618928
If you're still around, sure. This mite b cool.

>>17613756
This story had way, way too many things that make no sense. I don't mean weird things that the story deals with - I mean plot holes and contradictions that completely blot out the story. Mostly about the tape, which is central to the story. You can't have a robot interact with reality AND have sensory stimuli determined hours in advance. And then it ends with solipsism.

Ugh.

I don't suppose your GM has read Mainspring, Escapement, and Pinion by Jay Lake?

>>17619349
And if the reality was simulated, you STILL can't have it all the sensory data that the robot receives hard-coded on a tape hours in advance. Even the simulated reality would have to be interactive.

First things first.
Show the Dark Magus the papers, then he'll have one of two reactions.
Either he'll rage for what he did to him, or he'll go 'Eh, can't remember anyway', if the first, channel that anger, if the second, point out the Warlock might try to use him again and it would be pragmatic to kill him, he's got no empathy so he can't turn around and go 'But he's my daddy'
Then kill the Warlock, or better, capture him.
Check the basement/labs for children because there's bound to be one; and then check to see if the Warlock kept the spare brain parts or if you can find them. Then convince the Dark Magus to give empathy a try.
If it doesn't work out for him, then you can always remove it again.
And have the Magus torture the Warlock while he's still got no Empathy, because fuck the Warlock.
Then make sure to find what you can from his lab and all that Jazz.

>>17618809
>>17618928
Merci for what you gave, and please do try.