my body is ready

Okay Eight, go investigate what the Blood Magpies are "Acquiring", For the love of god dont let them see your rifle

>mfw im not working

hell yes

>>17543409
Image should say "this thread is NOW heresy" (minus the caps). The "now" is essential to the meme. Though, the meme is also generally reserved for threads that become something different than they start as.

>read the whole archive
>come to /tg/
>this is at the top

everything went better than expected. NOW BRING ON THOSE 1's!

They're probably stealing the axe, the power armor, the buggy... and probably Max and Esh's clothing. Fucking Blood Ravens.

Ah yeah, it's this time again!

>>17543447

>8's actions
>imokaywiththis.jpg

>>17543409

Quick, Eight! You must warn Max, so that he can hide Hat-chan somewhere safe!!!

Full stealth mode Eight, you're on recon duty.

Esh gulps as she sinks down into the warm waters of the spring, she doesn’t take her eyes off of you.

She looks a bit wobbly after your… Oral assault, which is fine by you. Its rather cute seeing her like this, off her guard. A fairly stark contrast to her usual self.

“What are you staring at, idiot?” She glares, folding her arms underneath her breasts.

“Huh? Nothing…”

The crazy fact is, that despite you having the ball in your court here, something has you thrown off of your own a-game as well. The fact that you can still feel your mind in a way somehow merged with the Eldar blowing bubbles in the hot spring in front of you as she eyes you, annoyed.

“D-do you want me to do anything or not?! I don’t have all day you know…” She puffs her cheeks as she frowns.

Without a word you grab her by the waist and pull her through the blue pool toward you, until her chest meets your own. Carefully you lower yourself down, making sure she follows along with you.

Her eyes widen as Esh feels something prod her in the thigh.
“Eh? Ehhhhh?!?!”

You smirk.

“Don’t act so surprised, you should have known what was coming.”

Esh glares, trying to push herself up, but you don’t let her.

“Grrrrr… Fine, take THIS!” She shouts suddenly.

>>17543409
Worst quest on /tg/, proves the taste of the majority is shit.

>>17543562
Okay.

>>17543562

HERES- no wait.

LOYALIST! Get him!

>>17543562

>STOP LIKING WHAT I DON'T LIKE

Is ignoring the thread really that difficult?

>>17543562
>>17543562
>>17543562

rolled 1 = 1

>>17543562
Speak for yourself, I lobe the constant bad ends.

>>17543544
yes. top priority is hat chan's protection.

Incidentally tell him to protect that weapon the grey knights gave him too. They'll be mighty pissed if he loses that.

“Grrrrr… Fine, take THIS!” She shouts suddenly.

You don’t have time to stop her as she violently drops herself down, sending your inquisitor head-first into the webway with one fateful thrust of the power sword.

“OWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!” Esh shouts, her face screwing up in pain as her nails dig into your shoulders.

You wince, it wasn’t the most graceful thing ever and she clearly wasn’t ready for it.

“Well what did you think would happen?” You ask, making no effort to conceal your sarcasm.

“Sh-shut up! Damn that Macha… She never said it would hurt! Well… She said a lot of things that I’m not sure were true…”

Esh looks like she’s relaxed, but you can tell without even trying that she’s faking it.

You put your arms around her lower back, and despite her tough façade, Esh sinks into you, her head nestling itself under your chin.

“Better now? This your first time?” You give her side a teasing pinch.

“Shut… Shut up! Of course it is, so you had better not ruin it for me, mon-keigh.”

You can’t help but smile, the pleasant warm feeling of your mind wrapping around her own is indescribable. Esh must be enjoying it too, because you can feel her body relaxing against your own.

“Hey Esh, do you like me?”

The short Farseer jumps slightly at your questing, sitting up to scowl at you.

“Me? L-l-like you? As-as if that were even possible, dolt.”
You frown.

“Well… I mean, its not like I hate you…” She continues, refusing to meet your eyes.

>>17543645
Literal mind fuck

“I don’t buy it.”

Esh’s eyes snap back to your own, you are smirking and looking smug.

“In fact, I know you like me. A lot. And I’m not letting you leave until I hear you say it.”

Esh sits up, folding her arms again and trying to look surperior and confident.

“Hmph! As though you can make me do something like that.”
“Oh? Really?”

Even from your sitting position, you manage a decent thrust.

Esh jumps, trying to pull away, but you’ve got her in your clutches and you intend to keep your word.

“Hah! It’s going to t-take a lot more than t-that to make me say something so embarrassing.”

“We’ll see…” You reach up, intending to snatch away her top, but her hand blocks your attempt.

“Not so fast. Let’s see how much you’ve learned. Try again, with your mind.”

1d20 for Esh’s test

rolled 11 = 11

>>17543707

Let's do this, pimp-of-the-imperium-style.

>>17543498
Yeah I fucked it up but I panicked and just barfed up the text because I forgot to to it earlier.

rolled 19 = 19

We are the best mental fisherman!

I SEE YOU.

>>17543739

Aw yeah, alien mind sex.

rolled 8 = 8

Final destination.

rolled 3 = 3

>>17543707
use the force max

>>17543732
STOP. ROLLING.

rolled 3 = 3

What happens if we fuck this up?

Oh gawd guys. I wonder if anyone here ever takes the time to look at the other rolls before rolling themselves.

bloody thieving magpies steal our woman?

so I just saw a partridge thread floating about Papa and it reminded me.

Weren't we promised a second cameo?

With little effort, you harness the power you obtained through smoking with Doomrider, and easily lift the white top away.

“Easy as pie.”

“Hmph, so the mon-keigh is actually capable of learning. Astounding...”

You don’t let her continue, pulling her back down again. She tenses up, but doesn’t object.

“Is it alright for you now?” You ask, genuinely concerned.

“St-still a little rough, but I’m no wimp…”


*meanwhile*

“Oh look brothers, what a fine gift left out for us.”

The Blood Raven picks up the nemesis axe, eying it greedily.

“Indeed, a fine gift. It shall make a fitting addition to our collection.”

They chuckle amongst each other as they sort through the buggy, checking around. One of them frowns as he pulls out Esh’s spear.

“Hmmm… Eldar wych equipment in the same transport as these relics? Something is afoot here, brothers.”

The leader shrugs, throwing a bag full of newly acquired gifts over his shoulder.

“No matter, we have everything we need. Let us not concern ourselves with such trivial matters.”

He activates his communicator.

“We’re heading back now. We’ve obtained some valuable relics.”

With that, he turns to lead the rest of them back toward their waiting rhino.

>>17543848
NOOOOO NOT THE AXE!

>>17543848
the fools, don't they know that the Partridges are no doubt monitoring all Imperial communications.

>>17543848

BOOM HEADSHOT THOSEFUCKING MAGPIES!!!

>>17543848
Wait... didn't we specifically take the axe with us in case of Tyranids?

at least we still have hat-chan.

I am Commander Shepard,

And this is my favorite thread on the Citadel

>>17543911
ah shit, I forgot. I had intended to write that you'd left it after Esh had informed you there were no nearby Tyranids.

>>17543848
>>17543707
>>17543645
>>17543558

>>17543938

>>17543939
Easy retcon, Max is distracted anyway

“Interesting bag you got there, mind if I check it out?”

I exhale a puff of smoke as I step into their vision. The astartes stop, their idle chatter cut off. They eye me wearily, tightening their grips on the stolen goods.

“Ah, what troubles you here today, Vindicare?” One asks, turning away in a crude attempt to conceal the bag over his shoulder.

“Well, the stuff you are carrying, for starters.”

The Blood Ravens drop their fake bemusement, their gazes growing tough and cold. Six of them, not the most eloquently equipped, the standard fare of bolter rifles and chainswords.

“A tough break for you then, Assassin. We have no intention of handing over these gifts.” The space marine fingers the haft of the chainsword at his side.

I smile.

“Really now, I must insist.” I lovingly rub the trigger guard of my Exitus rifle with my trigger finger.

It’s a standoff, we all know it.

[ ] Let them take the gear, clearly six astartes is too many to handle

[ ] Let them think they can have it, engage from afar

[ ] Start cracking shots off, you can’t miss at this range

[ ] Try to talk them down

Engage them from range!

>>17543968

>[x] Let them think they can have it, engage from afar

He's vindicare, honour means nothing to him

>>17543968
Talk them down to avoid potential Partridge intervention

otherwise, engage from afar.

rolled 9 = 9

Eight it's your time to shine

[x] Start cracking shots off, you can’t miss at this range

>>17543968
[ ] Let them think they can have it, engage from afar

>>17543968
[X] Let them think they can have it, engage from afar

>>17543968
[ ] Try to talk them down
It's the last thing they would ever expect.

>>17543968

At range. Gotta fight smart with eight at least.

[ ] Let them think they can have it, engage from afar

shooting them in the back means that we shoot them some more as they turn. it only makes sense.

>>17544048

[X] Try to talk them down

That's just crazy enough to work.

I lower my rifle and nod my head in their direction.

“I see I came ill equipped, I’ll take this opportunity to bow out gracefully.”

The leader frowns, eying me.

I know it’s a tough sell, and only an idiot would turn his back to a Vindicare so quickly.

“And let you shoot us in the back? Hardly ideal for us, I should think.”

I raise my hand and wave, as though to dismiss his paranoia.
“Easy, space marine, easy. I’ve no intention of fighting with astartes today. Simply attempting to guard the equipment of the VP I’ve been assigned to guard is all. I’ll not risk my own skin for some rusted old armor.”

I take a few steps back, hopefully they buy that.

1d20 for lie success.

>>17543968
These are the magpies they have no thought of ownership beyond their own. Engage them from afar where we have the advantage.

Engage from afar.

Holy shit, I'm actually here in time for Heretical Love Quest.

rolled 17 = 17

>>17544079

C'mon, silver tongue.

rolled 5 = 5

>>17544079
don't mind me, just rollin' a 20

>>17544101
Ok, we have a success, don't roll, don't touch it or jinx it.

Okay, stop rolling!

rolled 11 = 11

>>17544079

rolled 19 = 19

>>17544079
Well, here we go...
If Eight does this, I vote we set him up with Macha or something - he wanted to meet some Eldar chick, right?

>>17544110
You must be new here, theres at least two people typing responses now. With fail rolls.

>>17544144
NOW STOP ROLLING

>>17544144

A vindicare and an eldar? Well that's original.

rolled 2 = 2

>>17544129
>see roll
>11
>YEAAAA- wait a minute...
>1 , 1

>>17544110
>>17544144 Here
Hope you don't mind me rolling a 19.

It appears to have worked.

Though they eye me nervously, they make no move to bar my leave.

Stupid.

Awfully stupid.

It takes me but moments to sink back into the thick cover and scale a tree, something I’d always had a knack for, ever since my youthful days.

With my suit and my skills, they won’t even know where I’m shooting from.

Even if they were to find out, it wouldn’t matter, it would already be over by then.

My crosshairs fall to the sergeant first, he made himself easy enough to pick from the bunch. Foolish, to make yourself so open to a sniper’s round and leave your squad leaderless.

I hesitate, wondering whether or not to kill him or disable him.
Killing him would be easy enough, but the blood of astartes is very staining to the hands.

No, I’d better just make them get the point.

*CRACK!*

The first shot knocks away his bolter, the second his chainsword.

The others bristle, trying to duck behind trees as they fire shots off in every direction.

Pointless.

The Exitus rifle sends round after round, each finding a weapon.

Soon enough, I have the Blood Ravens completely unarmed save for knives.

I start chipping away at known weakpoints in their armor, severing power to their systems, disabling various pieces, the like. It isn’t boring work, requiring a little more skill than simply caving in their skulls with the heavy rounds.

>>17544151
>>17544162

Fuck, you're right.

>>17544156
No but it has a good track record given 40k's tendency for everyone try killing everyone else.

>>17544156
No reason to go against tradition!
Also, Macha clearly wants a Vindicare of her own.

And I think our friend deserves some Eldar TnA, you know?

>>17544162
You...might want to check the E-mail field, and remove some stuff there...

>>17543739
I SEE YOU

>>17544207

We should set up a dating service for Vindicare and Farseers looking for love.

>>17544191
so we're leaving them alive? pfft. At least steal their weapons once they're incapacitated as vengence.

MADE IT!

Max: Steven Bulm
Sister Lycheria: Tabitha St. Germain
Ailia: Tara Strong
Esh: Grey DeLisle
Deldar Twins: Venus Terezo
Kaleshi: Melissa Fahn
Yandre-Cron: Dionne Quan
Mika: Andrea Libman
Karen: Olivia D'Abo
Doomrider: Tommy Blacha
Abbadon: Christopher Sabat
Nurgle: John DiMaggio
Slaanesh: Tim Curray
Khorn: Keith David
Tzeentch: Nicole Oliver
Warboss: John DiMaggio
Emperor: Crush (Finding Nemo)
Malice: Frank Welker
DarkHammer: Tony Jay
Kais: Scott McNeal

The space marines are all crawling around, trying to regain some sense of order when I step back into their midst.

The sergeant growls a guttural curse as he eyes me, reaching for his knife, which I lazily boot away.

He grabs my leg.

The barrel of my pistol presses to his head.

“You coward!” He hisses, glaring.

“You traitor! You-you…”

“Victor.” I smile, lighting up another coffin nail.

He doesn’t say anything as he continues to glower up at me. The others groan and curse me, but they are harmless as kittens in dead armor with no weapons in sight.

“You know, on my home planet, Catachan, we have a saying…” I pry the bolt pistol out of the hands of another marine and slap him on his bald head.

“Never turn your back on a man with a rifle.”

I grin as they continue to curse.

“You’ve made a terrible enemy, Assassin.” The sergeant says as he forces himself to his feet.

“Impressive.” I mutter, clearly not impressed at the least.
I don’t even give him the satisfaction of thinking he stands a chance. I pounce.

The astartes does well to calm down, the sharp knife hovering so close to his eye that were he to blink his eyelid would be cut.

“Now take your men, get in that rhino, and leave. Before I get serious.” I pull the knife away.

The view is entirely satisfying, the downtrodden and infuriated magpies piling into their transport, nothing in their hands. Nothing to show for their trip.

I take a long drag as I watch them leave.

Ah, priceless.

>>17544339
fuckin' ballin'

>>17544230
Given what Emps is like in this (awesome) quest, it wouldn't surprise me if he's trying to set something like that up.

...Probably by 'convincing' Tzeentch, ifyouknowwhatimean.

>>17544330
Malal should be voiced by skeletor

>>17544230

It sounds like something from a throw-away joke.

A dating service to hook up dates of different species.

But the only ones who use it are Vindicare Assassins seeking Farseers and vice versa.

>>17544330
8: Phil Lamar

posting updates as they come to me, 8 has been over due

>>17544339
I vote we introduce Eight to the twins. He earned it.

>>17544420
seconding this

>>17544434

Thirding. 'Cause he deserves it.

>>17544434
very much so. shame max in character isn't aware of 8's actions.

>>17544413
Just As Planned.

>>17544420
Nah, the twins don't seem much for kissing and cuddling, or anything like that - Macha is a needy redhead.
That will be much more likely to give him some regular affection, as well.

I think the guy deserves that.

fourth. introduce eight to The DE Twins. after all, being a bro goes both ways.

>>17544420
But... Twins Bazzel, TWINS!

>>17544465
Seconded.
Why should Taldeer have all the fun?

Let's set him up with Macha - I'm sure Tzeentch would be fine with that, if Emps suggested it.

>>17544467
>>17544448
>>17544434
>>17544420
isn't he too young to be getting anything?

>>17544472
That's one reason for it, yes - let's not introduce any competition here.

(Also, Macha strikes me as someone who would be more openly lovey dovey, and that's bound to be hilarious for our Vindicare guy)

Esh’s ear twitches and she turns her head to look into the dense foliage beyond the pool.

“Hmm? Hear something?” You ask, though really you are too distracted with your current fortunes to care.

“It seems your assassin friend is doing some shooting.” She comments, her gaze locked.

“Oh? Ah, kids these days, probably just shooting up some local wildlife or something.”

You push down on Esh’s hips, driving yourself deeper.

“Ah!? H-how can you still be doing that at a time like this?!”

You shrug.

“I’m sure it’s nothing he can’t handle, if it’s even a problem. So relax and quit worrying about it.”

Esh bites her lip, but turns to look back at you.

After a few minutes, and a small struggle to find a comfortable rhythm, it appears the farseer has completely forgotten about the incident in the distance.

You grab her by the hips, giving them a squeeze, as she digs her fingers into your back.

“D-don’t s-stop, mon-k-keigh!” She increases her speed.

You can feel every inch of your wraithbone inside of her, which is an incredible sensation.

“Ah! Max I’m…!”

One last thrust drives you over the edge as well, and unable to hold out any longer, you let yourself go.

Esh collapses on you, both of you panting hard.

"Hah...ahhh...Max...<3" The Eldar's chin rests on your chest, her eyes half-lidded and a happy smile on her generally frowning face.


“UNF!” Slaanesh bites its lip, looking away from the drink out into the warp beyond the window.

“DUDE, YOU ALRIGHT?” Doomrider stops mid-snort.

“Fine, fine. Better than fine.” Slaanesh coos, idly stirring it’s sparkly pink cocktail.

“SOMETHING HAPPEN?”

“Oh yes, something happened all right. A whole lot of something.” Slaanesh licks its lips, looking intensely satisfied.

>>17544509
oh fuck, soul gone

As Papa-N said, he's working on some endings for HLQ. That means it will end, probably with an harem.

BUT, even if Max will get all the bitches, there will still be a tale to tell. And that tale will be of Eight, the vindicare assassin who learned how to pimp from the greatest pimp of the Imperium itself.

A new generation will succeed the great, and, as much as Max will always stay in my heart *tear*, the great adventures of Eight will be told, too.

The story of... Heretical Love Quest II!

And that's why we shouldn't present him any of the girls (at least not yet).

she didn't say it yet. WE MUST CONTINUE THE HERESY!

>>17544554

Yeah, Eight needs his own harem

O shi, we either knocked her up or shes falling.

And on the subject of the 8, seems like he is/was married. Just saying.

>>17544584

No, I think that picture from before was supposed to be of his father and mother.

It'd be weird if he was married, considering how young he is....

>>17544509
Please, we don't want to smoke Esh!

>>17544554
Nah, Eight doesn't need his own harem, I think.
He strikes me as someone who should have a clmer life.

Also, I kind of prefer the idea of Max, and Emps, helping the guy out by setting him up with someone.
Come on, he saved us against being run down by Malal's new errand boy.
Give the guy a break.

(Also, I think it would be more fun, if we do another quest, to start up with a new set of characters)

You and Esh clean each other off in the spring, enjoying the moment while it lasts, unfortunately.

The Farseer answers a call on her communicator, her face becoming serious.

“I understand, I’ll be right there.”

She sets the device down and turns back to you.

“That was… My people received a message. Apparently your Emperor is asking for an alliance, which has everyone in some kind of panicked state. They want me there to help make the decision.”

“Huh? What decision?”

“Not all Eldar are as trusting of humans as I may be with you. It won’t be easy to get many on board for such a thing.” She puts a ribbon in her mouth as she starts putting her hair into a long ponytail.

“Do you think you can get them to agree to it?” You ask, focused intently on the conversation even as you stare at the Farseer’s exposed ass.

“Hmmm… I hope so….” Esh looks serious, and not like she just pretends to be around you either.

“Let me go with you, I can be some help I’m sure.” You start hastily throwing on your clothes until Esh embraces you from behind, her face pressing against your back.

“As much as I’d like you to come, I’m afraid your presence at such a meeting would not likely be met with warmness. This is an Eldar matter, and my people will want it decided among Eldar.”

You clasp her hand in your own.

“Fair enough, but as soon as they reach some kind of decision, you’ve got to let me know.”

Esh nods, you can feel it against your back.

“I will.”

You sit on the edge of the rear of the buggy as you watch the Farseer walk toward a waiting ship that came for her. You perk up as she turns back.

“Hey Max!” She calls out.

You raise your arms as though to say “What?”

“I… I-I… I like you! Idiot!” She shouts, whipping back around and running toward the Eldar ship.

>>17544509
Slaanesh.
Slaanesh, if you've taken our Eldar, we're going to have Tzeentch screw with you forever.

We can do it too, you know - Emps likes us, so we're practically guaranteed to become the babysitter when Tzeentch wants to spend some time sitting on the Golden Throne, so we've got contacts there.

>>17544598
This is the imperium, anything's possible. Not like there arent irl people that young with kids.

>>17544657
Makes more sense if it was his parents, though.
He's a Vindicare, and they're trained for quite a while, and quite thoroughly as well.

I have some plans for Eight, but at this time I'm not entirely sure how to move forward with them, and likely won't figure that out until HLQ ends. I'm not sure if it will take the form of a quest thread series or something else entirely, but I'm not concerned about it at the moment. I do like him as a character, and kind of see him looking up to Max in a way as the quest continues on.

Is it time for KALESHI?!

>>17544678
Got to say, Eight is one of my favorites, thus far.
I still hope he gets to meet Macha, though, because I do think that would be nice to see.

>>17544647

I also just realized I took far too long on the pre-choice already, so whatever gets chosen now will likely spill over into the next thread significantly as well,as I've got about an hour or so left before I have someplace to be.

For those asking about Eight, those were his parents in the photograph, he wasn't married.

[ ] Give your axe-murderer a jingle, go to the bloodbowl game.

[ ] Dinner date on a skiff with the Dark Eldar twins, piracy on the high seas.

[ ] Karen sent you a text, the Orks are filming a show she thinks you would enjoy.

[ ] Try to reprogram the murderously loving Necron.

[ ] Mika sent you a message, asking for help with some science.

[ ] Lycheria left you a voice message, apparently the canoness wants her bike back.

>>17544678
Shit, a robin to our pimpman. Hope hes into voyerism.

>>17544721
canoness for teh lulz

>>17544721
I vote for Dark Eldar Twins, I like the idea of piracy, we can put a pirate hat on our commisar hat.

>>17544721

BLOODBOWL

>>17544721

Axe murder

>>17544721
[X] Give your axe-murderer a jingle, go to the bloodbowl game.

also, perhaps we could meet up with Taldeer and LIIVI later on

Eldar Twins! We barely ever got to know them!

[X] Mika sent you a message, asking for help with some science.

This woman gave us a laser finger, last time she did science.
Why in gods name would I ever pick someone else, when science is being talked about?

Axe Murder

>>17544721
Bloodbowl game with Kaleshi.

She got our hat back from the clutches of Abaddon. We owe a debt which we have put off for too long.

>>17544721
Axe-murderer

>[x] Give your axe-murderer a jingle, go to the bloodbowl game.

We needs us some Kaleshi.

[ ] Mika sent you a message, asking for help with some science.

>>17544721
>Bloodbowl

ITS TIME FOR CHOPPIN'

Axe Murderer

Hmmmm, Imma say Orks or DE, now isnt the time to be muckin about with oomies when we need to unite the xenos. Im going with filming poor little white boy seventeen thousand with the orks.

>>17544721
CANNONESS AINT GETTING HER BIKE BACK.

LETS RIDE TO SEE WHAT OUR AXE MURDERER IS UP TO AND TAKE HER OUT TO BLOODBOWL. THOSE TICKETS WONT LAST FOREVER.

>>17544721
Dark Eldar.

>>17544721
i really want to go with kelesh
but we havent done it with the cron yet
[X] Try to reprogram the murderously loving Necron.

>>17544721

We've spent the least amount of time with the twins, so the twins get my vote.

Maybe the talk about giving them to Eight will die down after an awesome pirate adventure.

>>17544721
[ ] Give your axe-murderer a jingle, go to the bloodbowl game.

We still owe her for rescuing Hat-Chan, and given what just happened with Slaanesh we might want to get in better with the forces of chaos.

Can we maybe cut it down a little with Kaleshi?
She's been in several threads now.

I think I'm going to vote for
[X] Dinner date on a skiff with the Dark Eldar twins, piracy on the high seas.

>>17544812
Oh, good point.

[X] Dinner date on a skiff with the Dark Eldar twins, piracy on the high seas.

[ ] D.eldar twins.

its definitely their turn

Dark Eldar time

Dark Elder Twins need more love, more heretical love.

Looks like Bloodbowl won?

not by much though

>>17544846
Implying Dark Eldar know any kind of love but the extra heretical kind.

>>17544878
Pretty sure it's Dark Eldar, actually, Papa-N.

That was a nice surge of Dark Elder love at the end, though. Guess we know who we'll be going after next, at least. :D

>>17544509
And the Shrew was Tamed, and it was good.

[x] Dinner date on a skiff with the Dark Eldar twins, piracy on the high seas.
Ain't nothing but the dawg in Max.

[X] Dinner date on a skiff with the Dark Eldar twins, piracy on the high seas.

>>17544846
too much heresy and not enough blood.

Piracy with twins!!

Right now, Kaleshi - 10, Dark Eldar - 11

>>17544878
Think a few changed their vote. This is why namefagging in quests helps.

>>17544903
I'm counting 10 for bloodbowl and 9.5 for DE

>>17544846
>>17544844
>>17544842
>>17544832
>>17544818
>>17544812
>>17544804
>>17544781
>>17544755
>>17544740
>>17544910
>>17544909

These are the people who've voted for the Dark Eldar...

Fuck it I change my vote to DE Twins and piracy, Lets get Jack Sparrow up in this bitch.

>>17544911
there is no such thing as too much heresy.

Aw yiss, time for some pirate action.

Though, not sure how Esh would feel if she knew Max went after some Dark Eldar after he just finished penetrating her warp gates.

Seems I'm in time for the quest...
voting kaleshi

>>17544923
>>17544937
2 more votes for the DE, then.

(And, presumably, 1 less for Kaleshi)

Kaleshi you fucks, she is the ONLY one we can really spend ETERNITY with once we fucking die.

Bloodbowl

Kaleshi, we need to repay her for our FUCKING HAT.

>>17544970
She's had multiple threads already.
Let's give one to the Dark Eldar.

>>17544966
Yea I was >>17544814

>>17544966
+1, moving mine to full DE

[X] Dinner date on a skiff with the Dark Eldar twins, piracy on the high seas.

I wonder what they eat...

bloodbowl

>>17544983

Dark Eldar next thread. Kaleshi NOW.

We STILL haven't thanked her for saving HAT-CHAN.

>>17544970
not really. We are in Emps good graces and most of the bitches we encoutered can live for more than 100 years.

voting kaleshi

>>17544998

Counting from that post, Kaleshi has 11 votes while Dark Eldar have 17.

>>17545002
I much prefer Dark Eldar this thread, and Kaleshi some other time.
We can thank her later, after we've spent some time with the DE.

>>17544970
Emps is our bro.
So, yeah, that's not the case.

>>17544992
Nice, thanks man.

>>17544986
Well, there we go.
1 less vote for Kaleshi, and 1 more for DE.

Kaleshi, she has done SO MUCH for us and we haven't really done a damn thing for her.

The twins can come later.

Im not speaking on papas behalf, but if we woo one girl more than the rest, we wont get our harem end and will instead get her end. And lots of us want our pimp to have his just desserts.

dark eldar.

and who every said anything about dying? we are bro's with the emperor, i've no doubt he could pull some sorcery mumbo jumbo to extend Max's life.

>since I'm short on time, going with DE.

Well, as sad as you are to see Esh go, something else has piqued your interest.

“I want to be, the very best~” Your ringtone goes off.

“Like no one ever was!~” You sing along slightly before answering.

“Sup.”

“OhmygoshMax!” Two excited voices from the other end.

“Hey, what’s going on?”

“We didn’t think you would answer!” Senna sings.

“Senda thought you were dead…” She whispers.

“Did not!” Her twin retorts.

“Err… You guys up to anything?”

“No! Well, kinda! Its why we called you! Daddy’s given us his personal luxury skiff for the day, and we wanted to invite you along!”

You pause, mulling it over. You don’t know what a Dark Eldar pleasure cruise entails, but it’s an intriguing thought.

“Is it safe for me to be around you all now?”

The twins laugh.

“Oh yeah, VERRRYYY safe. Daddy made quick work of the dissenters.”

“Cool. So uh… How do I find you?”

“Easy! Just send us your location and we’ll have someone pick you up!”

“Alright, will do. See you in a bit then.” You hang up and send them your coordinates.

You sit on the buggy as you wait, wondering what to do with the pile of equipment in front of you.

[ ] Leave it here, but hide it for safekeeping

[ ] Put it on

>>17545011
>implying there are that many people in the thread

>>17545031
Kaleshia has had several threads to her, already.
The twins?
They've had one.

[ ] Put it on

let them bitches know we've done some ADVENTURING

>[x] Put it on

Because why the fuck not.

>>17545042
put the suit on.
better safe than sorry.

DRESS TO IMPRESS.

>>17545031
But we already fucked Kaleshi, we need to balance it out by penetrating the DE first.

>>17545044
Its possible, though not plausible. There are 32 people following the twitter.

Still, there is samefagging in every quest

>>17545042
Put it on, if a Dark Eldar pleasure cruise is anything like I think it is we'll want power armor and a Murder AXE!.

Put it on, eldar love fights and we can always remove it on the ship...

>>17545042
[X] Put it on

>>17545079
on it put

[X] Put it on

Got to show them we're moving up in the world.

>>17545042
[ ] Put it on
Bitches love power armor

[ ] put it on.
They'll need something to remove, after all.

>>implying i don't check the twitter regularly, but am not subscribed.

>>17545042
wear dat shit
i'm sure they'll have no trouble getting it off

>>17545042
Put it on.

Also, cast change the twins are now voiced by Grey DeLisle

put on the clothing. You gotta wrap a present before you give it to someone after all

>>17545042
is it like a full body pleasure suit or something?

>>17545160
grey knights armor, and a power axe, space wolves bolt pistol, and hat-chan.

As much as you want to trust the twins, the last time you found yourself in their company you had to fight to the death in their arena. Where you almost did actually die. You put on the armor.

A few minutes pass after you finally get settled into it. Your stomach rumbles, reminding you that you didn’t let Esh cook you anything as you’d kept her too preoccupied…

A transport roars into view, slamming to a quick stop in front of you. The side door opens and you recognize the same pilot you’d had before.

“Get the fuck in, I don’t have time to be carting your punk ass around.”

You frown, but clamber into the ship, which speeds off before you can even get the door shut entirely.

“You’re kind of an asshole, you know that?” You mutter.

“So I’ve been told.”

“How’d the date go?”

“Awful. No whips involved at all, total bust.”

“Sucks.”

“Indeed.”

You and the pilot keep up the smalltalk, and it seems like maybe he’s not as big a douche as you’d first been inclined to think.

Finally you spot the twins out of the window, both jumping up and down, waving at the transport.

The pilot brings it in for another jarring stop, and you pop open the door.

“Thanks for the ride man, we should totally go to this “Vegas” planet you’ve been talking about sometime.”

“Totally bro, now get out, I’ve got shit to get done.”

“Word.”

You jump out, landing in front of the twins, who are squealing with joy at the sight of you.

“Oh Max! We’re so excited, this is going to be so much FUN!!!!” Senna has her hands held to her mouth and is jumping up and down.

“Yeah but first, Daddy wants to meet you.” Senda smiles.

>>17545160
Grey Knight armor modified for a normal human (compatible with our arm's weapon system)

and i now know what my commissar is going to look like for my Guards Regiment. Thank you papa-n.

oFUCK! meeting the archon in GREY KNIGHTS armor! good thing we wore it, this is going to get hairy.

>>17545198

>“Yeah but first, Daddy wants to meet you.” Senda smiles.

Oh god

>>17545198
Good thing we brought our shit. Incoming Vect.c

>>17545204
when thread is over.

We stat Max Decarius

As if Karen's dad wasn't hard enough to deal with...

>MFW I'm on time for Heretical Love and it's right after I had hawaiian pizza

>>17545266

That a joke? 10's in everything.

Everything.

>>17544678
It's funny how Eight is narrated at the first person while Max is at the third person.

Also, surprised nobody posted this picture yet.

>>17545280
except he's really not that much of a badass.

If anything, he just gets lucky. A lot.

>>17545303

Maybe he gets to re-roll failed throws, then, but with generally mediocre stats?

>>17545321
and a 3+ invul save of course.

And a special rule to somehow represent his pimpingness on the tabletop

>>17545303
So give him a special rule which dictates he cannot be killed, and if a female unit is moves within 100 meters, he automatically scores a penetrating hit.

>>17545337

>penetrating hit

Yes, YES!

>>17545204
please throw up some pics if you ever do, I'd love to see a miniature rendition

>>17545337
>penetrating hit
haha oh wow

>>17545330
New vampire counts model has a rule that involves leadership. It is basically seducing a unit. I don't have the white dwarf for ref.

The twins lead you, locked arm in arm, down the dark hallway.

“Are… Are you sure he’s going to be cool with this?” You ask, feeling increasingly nervous.

“Oh yeah, I’m sure he’ll be fine with it.” Senna laughs.

“Don’t worry, if he gets mad, it will be at us, not you.” Senda tries to alive your doubts.

“That just makes me more worried…”

They push open the great black doors, revealing a dark lit room inside. A tall and busty Dark Eldar clad in a flowing and quite revealing black dress greets the three of you.

“Oh my girls!” She hugs them, smooshing their faces into her.

“Mooommmm!!!” The twins protest.

“Stop it, you’re embarrassing us!” Senda huffs.

“Oh? Who’s this you’ve brought?” The older one looks up at you, locking your eyes to her own.

“That’s Maximus! The one who survived the arena!” Senna cheers happily.

“Hmmm… This is him then is it? Your father is very anxious to meet this one. Now you two come with me, he wants a word with him alone.”

The twins mother starts to drag the thrashing and whining twins away, before looking back to you.

“He’s right through that other set of doors, just doing some office work and the like. Good luck!” She drags the twins out of sight.

You swallow.

Hard.

With a shaking hand, you push open the set of doors the twins mother pointed you too.

“Don’t just stand there, come in.” Barks the voice from inside the room.

>>17545303
No, its the hat. We own the first Commisar hat ever stitched, hand sewn by the Emperor himself, possibly wielded by Pius himself. The concentrated awsome of hat-kun has bled into us by wearing it for so long. And that is why we must protect hat at all costs.

Max Decarius
BS: 3
WS: 2
S: 4 (bionic arm)
T: 3
W: 2
I: 4
A: 1
Ld: 10
SV: 5+

Wargear: plasma cannon or flamer

Luck of the Emperor: Max gets a 3+ invul save and can re-roll failed to hits

Bros with Daemons and the Emperor: when Max dies, roll a dice, on a 1 or 2 Max returns to the field.

Eternal warrior

point cost ???

So basically whatever the 40k equivalent of charisma is through the roof on Max.

>>17545374

Don't forget that he suffers a penalty when facing necrons, and that any female necron SC are forced to target him and must roll a Leadership test to attack anything else.

>>17545374
addendum: Big Pimpin: If Max is in base contact with a female model, it joins max's team for the duration of the game

>>17545371
Oh man, this is going to be awesome.

>“Don’t just stand there, come in.” Barks the voice from inside the room.

Did we just walk into the 100 Eads?

>>17545441

*Rads, I mean

Is the dad J. Jonah Jameson?

I hope so.

in b4 dad's a fag and wants to bone him

>>17545371
>Don’t just stand there, come in

>>17545481
Well if we bite our lip and take that one it might make things easier with the twins, might even get a shot with the milf.

Abandoning caution and completely ignoring the voice panicking in your head, you push the door open the rest of the way and enter the room.

This one is well lit, unlike most Dark Eldar room’s you’ve been in.

A massive one sits at a gigantic desk, pen in hand and papers scattered all around the room, littering the desk.

“So you must be the famous champion of the arena my girls won’t shut up about…” He eyes you over, looking quite unimpressed.

“Yup…” Is all you can manage. This guy looks like he could tear you apart with a flick of his wrist.

The Dark Eldar sighs, rubbing tiredly at his eyes and reaching for a mug.

“So let me get this straight. You get captured, entirely legally by our code I might add. Tossed into the arena, also legal. Where you fight and win, perfectly acceptable. Before killing, or at least helping my adorable but idiotic daughters kill, one of my best up and coming henchmen? Do I have it right?”

You gulp, your throat feels as dry as one of Yagis V’s arid wastes.

“W-well… I mean, it’s not…”

The Dark Eldar sighs, interrupting you.

“While as troublesome as losing my envoy here was, I can’t fault you for his death, as it was more or less went perfectly per-code. I can however, call you an asshole for giving me this much work that I have to do. Do you have any idea how damn hard it is to find good help?”

He throws up his hands, gesturing around to all of the paperwork.

“I… Apologize?”

The Dark Eldar sits as still as a statue for a moment, before nodding.

“Fair enough, Vect.” He says, all business.

“Max.”

He extends one hand, which you shake.

>>17545524
totally reading his lines with a sean connery accent

He pulls you closer with the grip.

“Pleasantries aside, let’s get one thing straight. You hurt my daughters in ANY way, and I mean any, and I rip off your limbs and sell you to a pleasure cult on some shithole of a planet. Clear?”

You nod furiously.

“Good, now get the fuck out of my office and get those two out of here. As much as I love them, I can’t get any work done with those two around me, they are too hyper for their own good.”

“I’ll keep them off your hands for a while.”

“Good. I can finally get some work done. You don’t happen to know any good Dark Eldar around here, do you? Stupid question but I’m looking for up-and-comers to take over managing this place.”

“Well, I do know of a good pilot…” You give Vect everything you know.

“Thanks, I’ll see if he’s got what it takes. Now get those daughters of mine out of my hair… And do enjoy the skiff, but don’t wreck it. Cost me a fortune.”

“I’ll do my best sir.” You turn and walk back through the doors, closing them behind you.

You exhale in relief, that could have gone a lot worse, actually.

>The Dark Eldar sighs, rubbing tiredly at his eyes and reaching for a mug.

>>17545524
You are now hearing Vect with his voice

>>17545524
Reasonable Vect?

Well, ok I guess.

>>17545360
I made a joke which Papa N laughed at.

I can die a happy man now.

papa-n wants to see my attempt at a commissar max mini? OH GOD THE PRESSURE!

>>17545566
Sorry, all I hear is JK Simmons.

>>17545524
Called it. That said, if hes fine with us "purging" his daughters, he seems pretty bro.

>>17545559

>putting in a good word for pilot bro

Y'see, shit like this is why Max is favoured by the Emperor.

He's a class act.

As long as we're careful of receiving any 'gifts' from Vect, I think Max will be okay.

>>17545597
Have you SEEN my minis? An armless autistic girl could paint better minis with her feet than what I'm capable of churning out.

reasonable dark eldar dad is....reasonable.

something's supposed to go wrong, what's happening here?

>>17545632
careful? would careful have us best bro's with doomrider? or bear bro's with Inquisitor Darkhammer? where would we be if we were careful regarding the necrons? certainly not with a kickass robotic plasma/flamer/laspistol arm.

we are Commissar Max Decarus. we don't know the meaning of the word Careful. shit, We can't even spell it.

>>17545642
I see what the fuck you just did there.

I see it.

I just realized, Steven Blum + Power armor voic agmentor + TOM

Also I read Vect in David Kaye's voice

rolled 1 = 1

Papa-n, there is a suprising lack of HUEHUEHUE in this thread. I am dissapoint.

>>17545712

Nice noko'd 1d1, pal.

>>17545712
That's a really obvious 1d1 roll you know?

>>17545660
The skiff gets wrecked and that's what pisses off daddy.

>>17545693

Beat me to the punch

>>17545712

>wanting HUEHUEHUE

we're driving the Skiff right?

>>17545642
i ain't painted many mini's myself, but i'll try to have something this week. it might be a bit till i get the pics to you, as they have me on night guard for this coming week.

I'll continue from my Droid in a bit, hopefully I can transition back to my computer once I get this shit done, but I've got to take care of something as I mentioned earlier.

sorry for being a bit lame tonight, real life shit has me a bit off my game

>>17545734
:<
Some of us find it greatly amusing. And its noko, but it might not be 1d1. If you want I can roll uncalled for d20s until I get a 1...

While Papa is out, revised stats for Max.

Max Decarius
BS: 3
WS: 2
S: 4 (bionic arm)
T: 3
W: 2
I: 4
A: 1
Ld: 10
SV: 5+

Wargear: plasma cannon or flamer

Luck of the Emperor: Max gets a 3+ invul save and can re-roll failed to hits, and grants him the Eternal Warrior and Stealth special rules.

Bros with Daemons and the Emperor: when Max dies, roll a dice, on a 1 or 2 Max returns to the field.

Flayed: All necrons gets preferred enemy against Max

Big Pimpin: Any female model in base contact with Max joins Max's team for the duration of the game

point cost 200

>>17545821
Godspeed, phone posting sucks.

>>17545877

>Big Pimpin: Any female model in base contact with Max joins Max's team for the duration of the game

>>17545915
So don't fight him with SoB

Could we get Jon Benjamin in to the voice cast somehow?

>>17545877
So offensively, he doesn't have much going for him besides the Plasma Cannon.

But sweet Jesus he'll be a total ASS to kill.

"Well???" The twins grab you, looking genuinely concerned.

"He... He said to have fun?"

"Yay!" They both yell, grabbing you around the middle.

"I'm impressed you made it out alive." Their mother says, crossing her arms and looking like she's seeing you for the first time.

The twins quickly escort you away, both of them practicality buzzing with excitement.

You stare in awe as they stop you in front of a massive vessel, an intimidating brass colored hull bristling with weapons and topped with three masts.

"Pretty cool huh?" They both chime smugly at your look of awe.

"We get to ride that?"

"Yeah! You might even be allowed to drive it for a bit!"

"Err... Maybe later...."

>>17545961
Except for summonable allies, like Doomrider. We should add a special rule for driving, but give access to any vehicle to him. Also a Bear Leaves stat line.

You know something, did the DE keep the body of the Archon we killed? I mean if they did, can we request that they cut off and shrink the head? We'll say its for a trophy, but really its for Kaleshi's date. We'll give her the shrunken head with a short stick attached and both wrapped in paper as one would give a rose to one's female companion.

Not really into 40k, but I cracked up when I read that "My tongue is the tongue that will pierce the hymens!" line from the last thread. Ended up looking through the archives. Kinda reminds me of Rance, with lots of fucking, and comedy, and fucking comedy.

Thumbs up to the OP!

>might have a few more minutes than I had thought

No less than a hundred crew stand at attention as the twins lead you up onto the main deck of the vessel, each of them looking like a seasoned veteran.

"Wow, this is a lot... Your dad wasn't lying when he said this thing was expensive."

"Hah!" The twins laugh in tandem.

"Daddy's always yammering on and on about money, he worries too much. We try to get him to worry less by keeping him occupied but then he just gets mad and boots us out."

You don't have the heart to tell them that's exactly what he just did, though maybe less literal boot and more planned shipping them off to be someone elses problem for a day.

"So what exactly are we going to be doing on this thing anyways?" You reach out to touch a cannon, but a crew member stops you, shaking his head.

"Oh the usual stuff. The food is great first off! We can swim, sail around, fish..."

"Lets not fish..." You cut in.

"Well, whatever, but we can have an all-round great time!" The twins look as though they are about to explode in glee.

"Ladies, it is time to depart." A giant of a Dark Eldar approaches you. He must be the captain, he just looks captain-ey.

"Where we headed, captain?" You ask, really wanting to know.

"Who, me?" The giant points at himself.

"Yeah? You are the captain right?"

He shakes his head no.

"Silly Max, he isn't the captain today." The twins chide you, grinning ear to ear.

"Oh. Who is it then?"

"Why YOU, dummy!" They cheer, placing something on your head.

They hold up a mirror to show you. Its a cut-out of a hat...

Dear Emprah...

Its turned hat-chan into a tricorne.

>>17545972
>Max
>Driving a huge ship

Goodbye, Yaris V, we knew thee well.

>>17546015
bear leaves:
During one assault phase per game, Max Decarus is able to adopt the following stat changes. ST 6, T 6, A 3

Bane of the Machine Spirits:
Max Decarus is able to commandeer any friendly vehicle on the field. any movement phase that Max Decarus attemps to drive a vehicle, roll 1d6. on a roll of 4,5, or 6 roll a Scatter Die plus 1d6, and the vehicle must move int eh scattered direction for 1d6 inches. if there is anything between Max Decarus' vehicle and the endpoint of the scatter, the vehicle impacts said object, becomes wrecked, and Max Decarus dismounts and continues on foot.

?

>>17546116
oh god I'm laughing so hard

Someone PLEASE make sure to toss up his TT stats/rules to the 1d4chan page, its simply too hilarious to leave out.

>>17546058
Thinking of the archon, what happened to our best bro, old one eye? He started tracking us down like ten threads ago, havent heard anything since. And having a nigh unkillabe carnie to call on would be nice, less pressure on doomrider to ditch that chaos game.r

>>17546144

Aye aye, cap'n

>>17546169
should his arm count as a powerfist with no int penalty.

Also: is everyone more or less in agreement that 200 points is fair?

>>17546162
he was put down by the space wolves when we got involved with the partridges' glory stealing

>>17546186
yeah, 200pts sounds good. but is Max Decarus an independent character? part of an HQ choice?

>>17546199
looks like it'll have to reincarnate again, maybe itll have better luck with a "leaner form"*wink*

>>17546238

Ah... but... and the...

Actually, I'm okay with this. Don't know how he'd write around the whole pesky hivemind thing though.

"All hand ter deck, full sails! Ladies, present the captain with ye poop decks!"

You get swashbuckling, and the crew snaps to life. They toss ropes off the sides, casting the ship to the seas.

"Your orders, Captain? I'm the helmsmen, you can call me Teach." A ferocious looking Dark Eldar gives you a curt bow, looking like he's anxious to get underway.

You look to the twins, who both give you their best salute.

"Ca'pn!" They both shout.

"Raise the anchor, ready all guns!"

The crew snaps to life again, busy carrying out your orders.

The twins hand you a map, which you give a quick glance.

"Where are we headed, cap?" They ask.

[ ] Head to Mistcrown port, a Dark Eldar shopping center to the east

[ ] Sail out to the dark deep, far from land as the wind takes you

[ ] Head south for an isle on the map marked with a T

>>17546238
>>mfw i realized what you meant.

Shopping. I have a feeling that T stands for Tyranids.

T! Let's show the girls EXCITEMENT.

>>17546263

>[x] Head south for an isle on the map marked with a T

>>17546263
[ ] Head south for an isle on the map marked with a T
OH MAN, TREASURE HUNT

>>17546256
One Eye has always had an indepenant streak, failing that we could meat up with Jeanstealer.

[ ] Head south for an isle on the map marked with a T
T for Tyranids or T for Tau

>>17546300

>Jeanstealer

I see what you did there....

>>17546263
T T T T T T T T !!!!!!!!!!

[ ] Head south for an isle on the map marked with a T

T must mean treasure. or tits. either way it is a curiosity that must be solved.

and we should throw in a couple ARRR's and YARRR's and AVAST's for the fuck of it.

>>17546263
DARK DEEP

because I do believe we have a score to settle

YAR HAR FIDDLE DEE DEE! Being a pirate is all right to be!
Do what you want 'cause a pirate is free! YOU ARE A PIRATE!

T IS FOR TITS AND TREASURE!

(or it's for tyranids. Or Terror. Or.....testicles?)

>>17546315
Things T could mean,
Tau
Tyranid
Treasure
Tits
Titan
Titus

Max should be an IC troop, but he can, for more points he can add to his squad with bros and bitches, such as emps, esh and doomrider.

Also the vehicle rule imo should be "before units are deployed, max may appropriate any vehicle on the army list as his dedicated transport, the effected unit must deploy without the vehicle. In case the vehicle cannot be removed (bike units for example), the model is removed from play", crash rules remain the same.

Also, it was mor or less stated that the fex was old one eye, I doubt hes perma dead.

>>17546350

YES

We should fight Ra'alman again with a big-ass Dark Eldar skiff.

To the deep dark, nothing impresses eldar bitches like fighting sea monsters that time forgot.

>>17546387
contrary to the running gag, we are not the best fishermen

"We're going here!" You snap your finger to the T.

The helmsman's face falls.

"Trust me, Captain, you don't want to go there..."

"Damn the consequences, I am the Captain of this ship and my word is the law!"

You pull him aside and switch to a hushed whisper.

"But seriously, what does the T stand for?"

The giant grimaces, as though he doesn't really want to say.

"Tortuga, Captain... The T is for Tortuga."

"...And...?"

"Well, its a pirate stronghold, Captain. Certainly no place to take these fine young ladies."

You look him over.

"...You're fucking with me, aren't you?"

Teach grins.

"Of coarse I am, its one of the funnest places on this damn world. Provided, of coarse, that you can show that you're tough enough to belong."

You bristle, doing your best to look the part of Captain.

"Yo ho!" The twins call out to you. You hadn't noticed them slip away while you were talking with Teach, but apparently they had because they come back toward you dressed entirely different. Each of them now sporting their best pirate attire, swords at their sides and pistols in their belts.

"Avast ye scoundrels, ye look so good that I should plunder yer booties!"

"Oh Captain~!" The twins giggle, holding their faces with both hands.

With that, the ship departs, headed for the far port, a wretched hive of scum and villainy.

>>17546387
From hells heart I stab at thee...

They just gave Ahab a bithin ship to kill his lovecraftian whale.

WE ARE THE BEST FISHERMAN!

>>17546381
for his bro's and bitches,

Max Decarus can take up to two models from the following list for bodyguards, with rules for the units found in their appropriate codices:
Tau XV8 crisis suit
Eldar farseer
Chaos Daemonette
Vindicare Assassin
Sister of Battle
Techpriest
ect...

>>17546432
but we already killed raal'aman, in the last thread.

>>17546469

It survived, actually.

You stand on the open bridge of the ship, falling more and more into your pirate captain persona as you bark out orders.

The twins seem to be getting into it as well, both of them looking incredibly pleased at this entire turn of events.

You look out into the vast expanse of ocean with the monocular the twins had given you, along with a few proper pirate-y additions to your getup such as a sabre and a pistol belt.

A younger Dark Eldar crewmen runs up to you, looking both excited and nervous. He appears out of breath, stopping at the foot of the stairs leading to the bridge.

"Captain!" He starts.

"Spit it out lad!" You yell down at him, putting away your monocular.

"Sir! We've sighted three ships, each within reach!"

Hmm, this isn't something you had considered before, the actual piracy part. You aren't sure if its something you want to get involved in, though it might be.

"Well, what are we looking at son?"

"Captain! A Chaos vessel running due east! A Rogue Dark Eldar ship heading north! Lastly, a Necron vessel steaming hard directly at us, sir!"

"Alright lads!" You shout to the crew, who look at you for direction.

[ ] Attack Chaos ship

[ ] Attack rogue Dark Eldar ship

[ ] Attack Necron ship

[ ] Ignore ships, go fishing

[ ] Ignore everything, head directly to Tortuga

>>17546469
To our knowledge. She could still be out there...plotting

>>17546410
Papa Nurgle, have I mentioned I love you? Dear me, Dark Eldar in pirate clothes, Im considering swapping from Tzeench worship to the plauge father now...

Yandere.....

Chaos and Necron have a chance of carrying Max' waifus, so I say we attack the ROGUES.

>>17546509

>[x] Attack Necron ship

YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO THAT IS

MAN THE GUNS!

[X]Fishing
We got our white whale to find.

[ ] Ignore everything, head directly to Tortuga
Not sure if we can avoid the Necrons but dammit we can try.

[ ] Attack Chaos ship

they killed of our entire unit, after all. everybody. time for revenge.

>Necron ship coming straight for us.

Tonya.

Man all battle stations. Let no one aboard!

>>17546529
yandere cannot into waifu. she must be eliminated

[ ] attack the necron

Rogue Dark Eldar. Is this even a choice?

>>17546509
Loot Necrons, bring Tonya to Mika and SLaDOS for reprograming

Necron heading straight for us? This reeks of yandcron. Sink it while we still have our balls.

Blow that Necron ship out of the sky.

You just know it's Tonya, which means we're going to lose all our limbs if she gets hold of us.

>>17546635
dude..first time we met her she had a retinue of immortals remember?

>>17546603
the choice to kill the psycho harem-murdering necron.

{!} kill the necron's

"The Necrons are headed right at us, eh? Turn hard port, bring us around for a broadside!"

The crew snaps to, moving at incredible speed. The vessel easily turns, and quite nimbly so for a ship of such a size.

You swallow hard. You don't know why the Necrons are heading right at you, or who they are. All you know is that you have a bad feeling about this...

Teach steers the craft with well seasoned hands, his steel eyes watching the approaching Necron ship, growing ever larger in the distance.

"Hold..." You tell the gunners, each looking anxious.

The Necron ship gets closer, and closer, and closer.

Finally, its within range, and you can see what it really looks like.

The ship is massive, with several decks each armed with a plethora of gauss weapons jutting from the sides. Oh shit, this boat is far bigger than your own.

Large enough, it seems, to house a Monolith atop it.

>alright, now I've got something to attend to. Will switch to droid, thread seems to be slowing down as well anyways

we should call upon the Chaos ship to help us fight the 'crons.

>>17546653

"Don't wreck the boat" he said.

Welp....

>>17546660

If they're followers of Malal, we should call the Necron ship to help us fight the Chaos.

>>17546653
So much for being on good terms with Vect.

I really don't know whether we should just go in guns blazing, or risk being kidnapped by Tonya via talking.

hope daddy d.eldar got good insurance on this thing. Gauss cannons aren't gonna be pretty

nothing good ever comes from the necron's.

Oh god, guys.

At the very least, once Max gets through this, he'll probably be tough enough for Club Tortuga.

>>17546676
1/5 chances they are the evil evil chaos, and not just the friendly evil. still, we should hail them anyway just to find out if they are abbadon's or not. and then make dealings appropriately

Not sure if we want to attract their attention.

Anyways, if the opportunity to call for help ever comes up, I'm sure it'll be obvious on who we should call on.

>>17546700
But if we can capture a Necron ship and offer that as a gift to daddy Archon he might be willing to over look a few gauss cannon scorches on his skiff.

>>17546705
Are you shure?

>>17546729
He already barebacked 3 daemons without lube, if that's not tough then I don't know what is.

Why. Why would we attack a CRON ship.

Coming from a sailor, our best bet is to board them. DE are decent in CC, and most cron suck at it. Maneuver so we dont get broadsided while we get close enough to board. Also, blast the deck with gunfire/explosives so we can board unopposed. Use the plasma cannon Max, your extremities rely on it.

>>17546766
It was coming right for us!

>>17546790
This one is smart

>>17546790
>board the ship
>yanderecron waiting for us
>"HONEY! THERE YOU ARE!"
>d.eldar sisters: "Honey? You got some 'splainin to do."

>>17546842
papa, whats our current inventory?

I'm going have to continue this later tomorrow or something guys.

my worst suspicions are pretty much confirmed and my vetbro doesn't think my dog can last another week and we should let him go out peacefully tonight.

he is 16 and I've seen this coming from a long ways off but its still tough to swallow.

rest assured I will continue HLQ, I just need some time right now.

>>17546879

*bearhug*

We'll all shed a manly tear for your dog tonight, Papa.

>>17546879
Rest in Peace doggy, best of luck Papa-N,, good night

>>17546842
>board the ship
>yanderecron waiting for us
>"HONEY! THERE YOU ARE!"
>d.eldar sisters: "Honey? You got some 'splainin to do."
>YANDRECRON FLAYS THEM ALIVE AND WEARS THIER FLESH FOR YOU.

ftfy

>>17546842
Thats when we kill it with power axe (power weapons ignore WBB) and shrug it off as necron being crazy. Which they are. And we have prospects of twins. As in together. I dont think they'll have an issue with other women.w

Oh god, not your dog.

damn, that sucks floppy penis about your dog, papa. i wish you the best.

>>17546879
Been through that, man. Take the time you need.

>>17546878
Hat-Chan
Our arm with a flamer/plasma gun/laspistol
Space Wolf bolt pistol
Grey Knight armor
Nemesis Axe
Psyker powers (trained up)

it'll be okay, papa-n. we're here for you always.

>>17546879
Sympathy for the dog. It sucks.

>>17546879
you have all my sympathies, Papa-N. my 18 year old cat went last week, so i know how you feel right now.

>>17546879

My 17 year old dog passed away from old age

Spike passed away at approx: 12:10 EST, age 16. Thank you all for your support, it means a lot to me. I may continue the XVI thread tomorrow if I feel up to it, I'm not sure yet.

>>17544330
WHERE'S IAN HOLM?!
YOU PROMISED!
Alien, 5th Element, LotR, Chariots of Fire...

>>17546879
Having a beloved pet die is absolutely miserable. You have my sympathy.