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  • File : 1325123872.jpg-(397 KB, 1200x1200, cglurkerhigh.jpg)
    397 KB Zerg Quest LXVII Cerebrate Anon 12/28/11(Wed)20:57 No.17360840  

    After luring the Dyles Entity to Protoss space, then saving the Protoss from the attack we had just engineered, we have managed to goad the Protoss into direct action against Dyles. They are preparing a fleet to destroy one of the lost UED worlds as we speak, though their Warp technology will require weeks of travel. We have considered taking them in our heighliners in order to speed up the conflict, but we're not certain whether showing the Protoss our slipstream drive is a great idea. We haven't decided.

    (First, roll 1d100 for Horrible Things. Second, consider yourself reminded that there's no Quest next week because Partytime, Excellent. Third, is that hour downtime thing old, or will this interrupt us?)
    >> Big Fat Zergling 12/28/11(Wed)21:00 No.17360860
    rolled 37 = 37

    No showing the protoss slipstream! Let them slog through space while we speed around the galaxy, see how they like it.

    And no clue on the downtim
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/28/11(Wed)21:06 No.17360918

    You win this round, random chance, but I'll be back!
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)21:07 No.17360930

    Agreed. No show on the shiny stuff.


    We missed some shit. Wooo.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 12/28/11(Wed)21:08 No.17360939

    Every week we get closer to doom-style fun. I'm curious about what we have hanging over our heads every week.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/28/11(Wed)21:13 No.17360980
    At some point, I'm going to bring up the difficulty a little. It's already really low.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 12/28/11(Wed)21:16 No.17361002

    Maybe that can be a New Year's surprise!

    That's a thing, right?
    >> Codeki 12/28/11(Wed)21:19 No.17361029
    As long as we don't have to start from scratch. That sucked last time.
    >> TUCAMP 12/28/11(Wed)21:20 No.17361035
    Relatively? We control a large portion of the sector, plus colonies outside it, have a puppet Terran government, an understanding with Sis, slipstream drives, massive production facilities, and a cyborg planet. I dare say the difficulty is very low. Which makes me concerned, expand our facilities on Yoush and Xenta so we can start rolling out capital ships. And have labrate try to average a carrier and battlecrusier together, we should start having out own distinct spacecraft at this point. And more colonies in directions that aren't towards the UED or Protoss.
    >> TUCAMP 12/28/11(Wed)21:21 No.17361043
    Roling out capital ships at a faster rate I mean.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/28/11(Wed)21:23 No.17361058
    Accountantbrate is still seething over our suggestion about equipping Zerg World with a slipstream drive. We've just finished the fourth heighliner, and we doubt there are quite enough resources going around to build any more if we intend to start a big push for more capital ships.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 12/28/11(Wed)21:27 No.17361091
    Can we at least start a colonization push into unknown (i.e. far away) space?
    >> TUCAMP 12/28/11(Wed)21:28 No.17361105
    Are you implying we require more minerals and vespene gas? The I say, more colonies, everywhere. Throw so much work at colonylord that he's forced to become colonybrate to keep up. And just because we have an understanding of how to steal zergworld back, deosn't mean we're going to right now, so let's give accountbrate a reassuring... psionic feeling?
    >> Codeki 12/28/11(Wed)21:29 No.17361116
    Ah, the never used before "psionic hug." Psionic highfives freak people out, so this should make people feel oddly comforted.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 12/28/11(Wed)21:33 No.17361142
    Seconding development of the mind hug
    >> TUCAMP 12/28/11(Wed)21:36 No.17361175
    Thirding a psionic hug. It's far better than a vague feeling.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/28/11(Wed)21:40 No.17361212
    We believe it's more the fact that we didn't consult it while we were developing three separate plans that each would bring our empire very near to being completely broke...simultaneously.

    That's the sort of financial mismanagement that could make it violent.

    (It only did it that once, and Kerrigan was intensely focused. An actual pat on the back might well have had the same effect)

    Anyway, Accountantbrate informs us that we are expanding, but that so are our expenses. Maintaining a thousand-world empire with a gap in the middle the size of a galactic arm takes a lot of money.
    >> TUCAMP 12/28/11(Wed)21:46 No.17361262
    Retrofit one of the heighlines to be a freighter... although they sort of are already. Basically just hand one over to accountbrate, should make the gap seem smaller. Also, when we have no use of the heighliners, ferrying troops, accountbrate gets first use.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/28/11(Wed)21:54 No.17361340
    (Oh, don't start giving him special treatment. That'll only end in disaster!)
    >> timetravelbrate 12/28/11(Wed)21:56 No.17361359
    Come on, what's the worst that could happen?
    >> TUCAMP 12/28/11(Wed)21:57 No.17361377
    Well, aside from ferrying troops, Warbrate's department, what else are we going to use the damn things for? If saying that accountbrate can use then when they're not needed for military purposes is showing favor... then our children are more childish then I though.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/28/11(Wed)22:06 No.17361486
    (You asked for it...)

    We feel the mood darken a bit as Bernie's consciousness requests the use of a heighliner, if they are for general use at the moment.
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)22:07 No.17361502
    Just tell the other "brates" that we have alot of plans and not enough money so we're gonna let accountbrate make us some more.
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)22:09 No.17361518
         File1325128144.jpg-(108 KB, 300x309, UNFILTERED HATE.jpg)
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    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/28/11(Wed)22:09 No.17361531
    (I think this may be my favorite Zerg Quest post ever)
    >> Codeki 12/28/11(Wed)22:11 No.17361554
    No, No, No, No, NO!.

    We unleashed the blight.
    Bernie will fuck it.
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)22:12 No.17361566
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    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)22:13 No.17361578

    Bernie IS the Blight bro.
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)22:14 No.17361594

    Query bernie what he wants it for.

    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)22:20 No.17361658
    Find out what he wants if for. If we're going to have to remove a giant fleshy penis from it afterwards, the answer is NO!
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)22:22 No.17361686

    To be fair, that is one of the things we're eventually going to use the slipstream drives for. It gives us a distinct advantage in shuffling troops around, and enables us to allocate resources like nobody's business.

    I'd be up for authorizing one of the slipstream drive heighliners to be used for resource transportation.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/28/11(Wed)22:23 No.17361698
    Bernie merely says that it has expended most of the resources in the system we've given it, and it would like to scout for a new one. Possibly nearer to UED space, so that it can get in on "that virginal toadflesh."

    We pray that it means Dyles.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 12/28/11(Wed)22:25 No.17361713
    I'm down with this. Make it clear that it isn't favoritism, it's just sound resource management.
    >> Codeki 12/28/11(Wed)22:26 No.17361726
    Damn it. That's a decent answer. I'd say let him go in a direction that's not colonized by ANYONE yet. I don't want him anywhere near the UED. If they find out he's related to us in anyway, I don't want to see what will happen.
    >> TUCAMP 12/28/11(Wed)22:27 No.17361734
    Letting Bernie use a highliner to move further away from us... I don't see the problem. And in retrospect I should have realized the colonization and... bernie uses.
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)22:27 No.17361740

    Reply to bernie that a relocation like that does not require usage of the slipstream equipped vessels as such a move would be 'low priority'. He does have permission to relocate, though.

    Drill into Warbrate and accountantbrate's mind: Unless those two want to see the Queen and Bernie mating again across the universe in the Slipstream Club, they'd better make sure that the vessels are in CONSTANT USE.
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)22:27 No.17361745
    Politely tell Bernie that while we love him, it would be an absolute catastrophy if anyone else aside from those we are at war with were to learn of him and his brood, but, we can see about locating a WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY Out of place Dyles World that he can shove his spiky carapace into again and again, and then attempt to violate the very PLANET ITSELF! If he so wishes.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/28/11(Wed)22:30 No.17361773
    >Send him far, far away with a heighliner: 2
    >Send him far, far away without a heighliner: 0
    >Let him go to UED space with a heighliner: 0
    >Let him go to UED space without a heighliner: 1

    (Fascinating results)
    >> Big Fat Zergling 12/28/11(Wed)22:31 No.17361784

    I think we should keep Bernie close to us. All the better to make sure he isn't stirring up trouble. And we really don't want Bernie to get into a first contact scenario if we send him into unknown space.
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)22:32 No.17361799

    Wait! >>17361740 here

    Didn't mean to say he can go to UED space.

    He can relocated without the slipstream devices AWAY from them. Showing off bernie's Penis monsters to the UED will make them bring out the nuclear fires.
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)22:34 No.17361814
    agrees i do
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)22:35 No.17361824

    I am


    I actually meant WITHOUT a Heighliner.

    >Capcha: Virginibus paposit

    Is this even a thing?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/28/11(Wed)22:36 No.17361834

    >Send him far, far away with a heighliner: 2
    >Send him far, far away without a heighliner: 1
    >Let him go to UED space with a heighliner: 0
    >Let him go to UED space without a heighliner: 0
    >No, you stay right where I can see you: 2
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)22:39 No.17361859


    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)22:40 No.17361873
    Allowing Bernie to go out into uncharted space and possibly make First Contact with new races?
    No. That sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. Bernie stays right where any movement out of his prescribed area can be immediately detected and proscribed.
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)22:41 No.17361882

    >> Codeki 12/28/11(Wed)22:41 No.17361890
    I have an idea. We could loan Bernie a "Heighliner" on the condition that he takes his entire fleet at once, we then send him at a black hole.
    >> TUCAMP 12/28/11(Wed)22:42 No.17361893
    I'm changing to having him stay put, maybe giving him a near by planet to placate him. And I agree to telling warbrate, accountbrate, and colonylord to have them in constant use from now on. I wonder how citybrate is doing?
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)22:42 No.17361900

    >first contact scenario
    >with Bernie

    Am I the only one who figures this would be hilarious enough to warrant risk?
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)22:43 No.17361914

    Remember the Manta Rays we found?

    Imagine if Bernie got there first.

    You are now imagining an entire planet devoted to his Guro fetish.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/28/11(Wed)22:44 No.17361924
    Like Defensebrate, Citybrate is just oh, so busy. So very, very busy that it surely can't stop to talk. Ever...

    (Despite all that voting business, I'd like to make sure this suggestion gets a chance at discussion)
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)22:47 No.17361952
    Could we hide those thoughts that well from Bernie?
    I can't remember, did we lie to the Overmind, or hide our thoughts from it? I think we did, but I can't remember a specific instance, it's been so long.
    >> TUCAMP 12/28/11(Wed)22:47 No.17361954
    What if them nth dimensional materials allow it to survive or pop out in the other side... BERNIE IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE!!!
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)22:48 No.17361967

    >Bernie in a Virgin Universe

    I just felt my soul go cold.

    Not to mention if he NOTICED the Blackhole he would treat the entire trip like he just raped physics.
    >> Codeki 12/28/11(Wed)22:52 No.17362001
    The quotations around it were because we'll give him one without the multi-dimensional enhancements. We'll turn everything in that heighliners into putty and dispose of the evidence by having it drop out of Ludecrous speed at a black hole.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/28/11(Wed)22:53 No.17362007
    (Nth NOTHING! It's 5! 5th dimensional! Also, you're giving the DM ideas again)
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)23:00 No.17362079

    Guys, Bernie is the equivalent of the Overmind's Gorn. Gorn's brood was only released as a desperation tactic or when the Overmind needed to scare the fuck out of someone.

    While we've discovered that Gorn is in actuality just phenomenally good at shuffling troops around and kinda bad at tactics, Bernie is a cunning and tenacious combatant who gives our subconsciousness muchly-needed memory suppression practice. He's still very useful to us, we just need to find an enemy that isn't located near any one of our respectable allies. Besides, he was in the clutch of Zerglings that gave us Artisanlord! It wouldn't be right to shunt him over to die somewhere.

    For some variety in our discussion, how's everything on the Confederacy side, OP? How's ZergTV faring on UED airwaves? Has the Game of Drones spinoff from the Manta Knight Chronicles been received well by Confederate viewers?
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)23:03 No.17362103
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    >Game of Drones

    I had forgotten.
    >> Codeki 12/28/11(Wed)23:04 No.17362112

    I hate to say it, but you're right. Last time we got rid of Bernie, he just sat in the back of our minds.

    I'll swap my vote to STAY THE FUCK WHERE YOU ARE! and give him permission to spread to the next nearest system, and ONLY that system.
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)23:05 No.17362129
    I too would like an in-detail report on how ZergTV is faring Confederate side and UED side.

    I always enjoyed the ZergTv skits :3
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/28/11(Wed)23:23 No.17362286
    >Part of the clutch of zerglings that gave us Artisanlord

    (We DID consider fusing their minds together at one point. I believe we decided the possibility of unleashing a horrible rapemonster on the universe was just not scary enough to risk losing our ZergTV CEO, though)

    >on the Confederacy side

    (Surely, you mean the Morian Republic?)

    ZergTV has officially split its bandwidth into several channels. Artisanlord is particularly happy with Bob Protoss' Joy of Painting with Cruor (hosted by our only remaining Infested Protoss, and obviously NOT broadcast in Protoss or UED space).

    It's odd to watch the differing markets. The very meager Protoss audience seems to really enjoy the programming Artisanlord takes the most pride in, but also tunes out the very second peace or cooperation come across. The UED viewers tune in en masse for our technical programs and what we might unflatteringly call "technology porn." The Koprulu Terrans seem absolutely fascinated by a program Artisanlord simply didn't want to make, in which two scourge hatched from the same egg attempt to express their forbidden love.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/28/11(Wed)23:25 No.17362301
    (So, we're going to give Bernie a new star system or two in the Koprulu Sector?)
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)23:27 No.17362321

    My sides.

    They hurt.
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)23:27 No.17362325
    Oh, those crazy Morians.

    How's Kerrigan faring?
    >> TUCAMP 12/28/11(Wed)23:28 No.17362331
    But the Scourge of Passion is such a good show.
    Sure, why not.
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)23:29 No.17362339

    >Scourge of Passion

    I love you.
    >> Codeki 12/28/11(Wed)23:29 No.17362340
    If it will get him to shut up, do it.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 12/28/11(Wed)23:31 No.17362357
    Hell, give him a few neighboring systems. If we have need of him in the future, we may as well give him a bigger brood
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)23:31 No.17362361

    Let's give him a star system that's remote from everyone else, but will plug up any holes we have in our relative system-wide net of defenses.
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)23:33 No.17362375
    One system only! And we will set up haz-beacons all over the goddamned system about a naturally occurring and very, very dangerous metreon cascade with tetryon and methogenic particle radiation at unsafe levels.
    If we have any assets on that planet, they get the fuck off and don't look back.
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)23:38 No.17362436
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    Oh yes, how is Little Sis doing?
    We should probably map out a safe path of colonization for her, so that she won't bump into the Protoss bullies or the mean UED.
    And I want to see if this act of overbearing big brother love will set her off.
    I don't know if I love her, love to troll her, or if there's any difference between the two.
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)23:40 No.17362465
         File1325133606.jpg-(206 KB, 500x1294, macha.jpg)
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    She's our very own Macha.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 12/28/11(Wed)23:40 No.17362470

    That reminds me.

    Did we ever send her that t-shirt we got her from the worldship fragment amusement park we accidentally destroyed?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/28/11(Wed)23:45 No.17362534
    We deny Bernie the use of a heighliner, but grant it three nearby star systems. We keep close eye on its forces in transit, and manage to watch the borders of the systems quite well, all the while keeping up a valiant effort to see exactly none of the things going on, because Bernie's brood has only gotten more filthy as time has gone on.

    (Hmmmm. Roll...2d100 should do it.)
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)23:45 No.17362539
    >Did we ever send her that t-shirt we got her from the worldship fragment amusement park we accidentally destroyed?
    Oh, how could I forget the tacky souvenirs from the UED we were supposed to get her!
    We need to include a UED Navy baseball cap, and maybe some souvenir coffee mugs!
    Oh, and we can double the hilarity by having our representative to the UED call for a high-level diplomatic meeting, at which he will apologetically state that the Overmind wishes for some souvenirs for his little sister, and where would be best to acquire such UED cultural artifacts.
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)23:46 No.17362554
    rolled 45, 77 = 122

    Let's how our little baby sister is doing!
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/28/11(Wed)23:47 No.17362559
    The Terran holding it was incinerated during the dimensional recall. Considering the immense tragedy that ensued, it's very unlikely that we'll be able to find a replacement.

    That's alright, though. We could only guess at her size, and she'd probably get really mad if we got it wrong.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 12/28/11(Wed)23:47 No.17362561
    rolled 6, 60 = 66

    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)23:48 No.17362566
    rolled 13, 37 = 50


    Kerrolligan.... rolling.... bluhh....

    That did not come out right at all.
    >> Codeki 12/28/11(Wed)23:49 No.17362577
    rolled 10, 80 = 90

    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/28/11(Wed)23:51 No.17362596
    (Wow. BOTH of you rolled under the difficulty on the first one!)

    All we hear is, "Cerebrate! HEL--"

    A moment later, an unfamiliar voice rings in our mind, "Nothing to see here, Cerebrate."
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)23:53 No.17362615
    You mean mine >>17362554
    doesn't count?
    >> timetravelbrate 12/28/11(Wed)23:53 No.17362621
    That's okay, cerebrates don't have eyes. Who the frell are you?
    >> Big Fat Zergling 12/28/11(Wed)23:53 No.17362629
    We must do this. Send a diplomat to the UED and ask tell them we heard commercial for an "amusement park". Express interest nad ask to have a representative tour one of these parks. Then while we're talking to Kerrigan, we ask what size t-shirt she wears and get her some extra tacky souvenirs from the UED amusement park.

    While we're at it, we should get some tacky souvenirs for Khas, Tassadar and the rest of the protoss officials.

    We tell the UED officials escorting our representative that the tacky souvenirs are a great gift for our little sister and elder siblings.

    Great trolling will be had by all.
    >> Codeki 12/28/11(Wed)23:54 No.17362636
    Can we tell where it was from? NOBODY PICKS ON OUR BABY SISTER!

    /Psionic Middlefinger
    "Who are you, and what have you done with my sister!"
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)23:54 No.17362641

    We are more along the lines of a Proto-Overmind, we have an eye!
    >> Big Fat Zergling 12/28/11(Wed)23:56 No.17362655

    >rolled under

    > >=(
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)23:56 No.17362659
    >"Cerebrate! HEL--"
    >unfamiliar voice in our mind
    Tell Warbrate to go to DEFCON 1 and send Dropservers to the remains of the Umojan Protectorate immediately.
    Did we make contingency plans from the last time that a Psi Disrupter was used on us? Do we still have those psi-signed Psi Emitters nearby?
    >> Anonymous 12/28/11(Wed)23:59 No.17362694

    Send out a powerful Psionic BITCHSMACK To the Unknown Voice.

    SCREAMING through the minds of every being Capable of Understanding our Psionic speak that YOU. DO. NOT. FUCK. WITH. OUR. LITTLE. SISTER!

    Then unleash the fury of the Swarm upon their current location at the Speed of FUCKYOU amplified by the Slipstream.
    >> Anonymous 12/29/11(Thu)00:00 No.17362713

    >Speed of FUCKYOU amplified by the Slipstream.

    So instantaneous teleportation fueled by the fury that shines brighter than a thousand suns?

    I can dig it.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/29/11(Thu)00:01 No.17362727
    (Oh, my. I'm terribly sorry. That one was around 50/50, though, so I'm going to call it anyway.)

    "I don't believe we've met. I am Duran. Samir Duran. I would suggest that you not interfere on Umoja. There is...political instability, here."
    >> Anonymous 12/29/11(Thu)00:02 No.17362735
    > Samir Duran

    >> Anonymous 12/29/11(Thu)00:03 No.17362749

    Do as



    Fuck Duran.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/29/11(Thu)00:03 No.17362750
    (Well, that all came together at the last moment. That's a perfect microcosm of Zerg Quest, right there)
    >> Anonymous 12/29/11(Thu)00:04 No.17362755
    >> Big Fat Zergling 12/29/11(Thu)00:06 No.17362769

    Fuck Duran. Fuck him and his stupid accent and his faggy beret thingy. Our sister called for help, and help she shall receive.

    Ready all our forces in the Koprulu sector. As soon as we figure out what's up on Umoja, we're jumping in with overwhelming power, ready to fuck someone's shit up.
    >> Codeki 12/29/11(Thu)00:06 No.17362776
    Roar through the link, "We want our sister back. I suggest you giver her to us."
    >> TUCAMP 12/29/11(Thu)00:07 No.17362783
    First stop, Umajon.
    >> Anonymous 12/29/11(Thu)00:07 No.17362786


    No one fucks with our little sister except us.
    >> Anonymous 12/29/11(Thu)00:08 No.17362794
    I don't know who you are, and frankly I don't care,and am only going to say this one time so listen very carefully to what am about to say, IF MY SISTER IS NOT PUT ON THIS LINE WITH IN THE NEXT 30 SECONDS THE WHOLE OF THE SWARM WILL BE OVER UMOJA IN VERY VERY SHORT TIME SPAN, that is all thank you, 29,28,27
    >> Anonymous 12/29/11(Thu)00:09 No.17362803
    As our emotional side pumps the fury of a thousand burning suns towards the psionic signature of Duran, let's get ready for the fight.

    Warbrate, get the closest recon assets to Umoja into position to give us intel on the situation. Warp out far from the planet in order to not get instantly turned into plasma by planetary defenses.
    Begin mustering forces not immediately required for border defense for a convergence on Umoja.

    Defensebrate, bring all colonies and planetary defenses up to full war-time readiness.

    Labrate, prepare Psi Emitters, and make sure that several are placed near our physical location. We are dealing with another psionic entity, and I don't want to risk them having access to psi disruption technology.
    >> TUCAMP 12/29/11(Thu)00:09 No.17362804
    Maintain polite conversation with Duran, while we ready our forces and warp them in. I want our forces to show up right when we're discussing the finer points of protoss cuisine.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/29/11(Thu)00:10 No.17362808
    (NOW that we're done with the immediate pants-shitting reactions, what's the plan? Attack Duran? Negotiate? Nuke it from orbit because it's the only way to be sure?)
    >> Anonymous 12/29/11(Thu)00:10 No.17362809
    We must capture Duran.

    Then we must render him unable to speak and cut off his psionic power.

    Then we give him to Bernie.
    >> Anonymous 12/29/11(Thu)00:13 No.17362844
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    Warbrate, get the closest recon assets to Umoja into position to give us intel on the situation. Warp out far from the planet in order to not get instantly turned into plasma by planetary defenses.
    Begin mustering forces not immediately required for border defense for a convergence on Umoja.

    Defensebrate, bring all colonies and planetary defenses up to full war-time readiness.

    Labrate, prepare Psi Emitters, and make sure that several are placed near our physical location. We are dealing with another psionic entity, and I don't want to risk them having access to psi disruption technology.

    Continue conversing with Duran, and see if Internbrate can modify our old Psi Compass ships to attempt to triangulate his position.
    >> timetravelbrate 12/29/11(Thu)00:13 No.17362848
    Start with whatever kind of psionic attack we can muster.

    And someone get Bernie a heighliner, I'd say Duran has earned it.
    >> Anonymous 12/29/11(Thu)00:16 No.17362879

    Oh, I'd say there's going to be instability.

    Prep an invasion force. But in the meantime, let's keep chatting with Duran.

    >Playing-the-fool-response to "Nothing to see here, Cerebrate."

    Oh. If you say so.

    Wait, who are you again?
    >> Big Fat Zergling 12/29/11(Thu)00:16 No.17362880

    Stay on the line with Duran. Stay civil, stay polite. At the same time, get every unit we have into position to jump to Umoja. Cram every overlord, battlecruiser, shuttle, carrier and dropship full of combat units and get every nuke on NukeWorld prepped for launch and ready to saturate Umoja ten times over.

    We also need cloaklords and dropservers to head to Umoja. Warp them in outside the system and have them (stealthily) make their way towards the planet, looking for Kerrigan or absolutely anything out of the ordinary.

    Ask to speak with our sister. If Duran refuses, jump in enough of our fleet to make a very intimidating statement. If he refuses, we go that hard way and invade the planet while searching for Kerri.
    >> Anonymous 12/29/11(Thu)00:17 No.17362896

    >Speed of FUCKYOU amplified by the Slipstream.

    I grinned so hard it hurt.

    It was a malicious grin.
    >> Anonymous 12/29/11(Thu)00:21 No.17362929
    Right, SPECIFIC talking points:
    1. You have given me a name, but that is an insufficient identifier. What do you want?
    2. What is the status of Kerrigan?
    >> Anonymous 12/29/11(Thu)00:22 No.17362932
    I like this. Keep him on the line, keep him distracted. We shouldn't do a psychic attack unless he's going to kill Kerrigan right that moment. Doing so might actually provoke him.

    He shouldn't have any knowledge about our enhanced capabilities. Then again, considering that he's probably working for VotV (I hope we're ignoring SC2 canon), he might have his own special shit.

    Position overwhelming force around him, and offer to let him leave in exchange for Kerrigan.


    We only have his word that anything of any interest is happening there. No guarantee that's where they are. Scout the area, try to get a psychic lock on Kerri.
    >> TUCAMP 12/29/11(Thu)00:29 No.17362990
    There's a lot in SC2 that's been ignored. Al a reminder, we all know who to blame for Duran showing up. Me and my big speculative mouth,
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/29/11(Thu)00:31 No.17362999
    (Damnit, I was going to adapt that speech if you guys chose this route. Maybe I still will. I'm drunk. Anything could happen.)

    >I hope we're ignoring SC2 canon

    (Technically, I suppose you'd say we're ignoring all canon except the manual from the first game. We diverged from the normal timeline just before the first game started, and I've been rather delightedly subverting the official canon left and right)


    >Kill: 1
    >Negotiate to stall for time before killing: 5
    >Actually talk: 1

    (I'm noticing a trend)
    >> Anonymous 12/29/11(Thu)00:34 No.17363025

    What do you expect us to do? Our little sister / some of our's Waifu is in danger!
    >> Anonymous 12/29/11(Thu)00:36 No.17363042
    >I was going to adapt that speech if you guys chose this route
    "I do not who you are, or what you want. I may not have what you want, but what I do have, is a very particular military. A military that I have acquired over a very long career. A military, that I will make into a nightmare for you.
    "If you release my sister, and leave, then that will be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you.
    "But if you don't, then I will look for you, I will find you, and I will destroy you."
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/29/11(Thu)00:36 No.17363047
    >Some of our's Waifu

    (Nope. Just mine)
    >> EnthusiasmBrate 12/29/11(Thu)00:44 No.17363100
    rolled 22, 63 = 85

    >>"But if you don't, then I will look for you, I will find you, and I will give you to my cerebrate of torture as a new sextoy."


    Also it would be prudent to remember this is ol shifty Duran. He should know when he is out of his depth.
    >> Anonymous 12/29/11(Thu)00:46 No.17363115

    If we can, let's send some dropbservers down there and see how things are going. While we're stalling for time, of course.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 12/29/11(Thu)00:46 No.17363121

    >ol shifty Duran

    Aahhh, but this isn't the Blizzard Duran. This is whatever twisted, horrible version of Duran that has been vomited forth from CA's...unique mind.

    In short, we don't know shit about what we're dealing with yet.
    >> Codeki 12/29/11(Thu)00:49 No.17363144
    This is a Duran that's thousands of years old, and a bigger dick than Kingston.
    >> EnthusiasmBrate 12/29/11(Thu)00:52 No.17363172
    rolled 85, 71 = 156

    >>Big Fat Zergling
    My arch nemesis...

    Must you combat me at every turn?! What does that statement even contribute to the thread! Your posts exist only to haunt... my dreams.

    We should see about calling up raynor and preping the ghost squads. This will innevitably call for a rescue mission and he is the only man I can trust for the job. Set the crew to pick him up and the forces he is to command for the mission up with a heighliner.

    We need to cut down on time between gathering the mission assets and having him in position as much as possible and theres really nothing that would do it better. This will also provide an excellent chance to see how the heighliner holds up in a presumably frantic battlezone.
    >> Anonymous 12/29/11(Thu)00:55 No.17363205
    >he is the only man I can trust for the job
    His...previous near-successful rebellion makes me leery of trusting him with such a high profile and delicate operation as this.
    He served his purpose to the Swarm, and I am loath to entrust our sister's well-being to him.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 12/29/11(Thu)00:56 No.17363212

    I'm just saying we can't rely on metagame knowledge is all.

    But Raynor, he should still be on Moria. We should check his memories over and see if he's heard of anything unusual going on over on Umoja.
    >> TUCAMP 12/29/11(Thu)01:02 No.17363255
    I'd say that's probably spot on. Combine the worst parts of that dead bastard Kingston, that dead whore Fenshical, and a heavy helping of being a douche and that's this Duran, I think.
    >> EnthusiasmBrate 12/29/11(Thu)01:03 No.17363266
    rolled 71, 70 = 141

    The force is weak with you padawan. We have interacted with the fourth wall from a very early point in quest history. Meta-gaming is a time honored tradition stretching back all the way to when we first started on Xenta, and it has always been a great ally in cushioning the blows that anon gives us. As time has shown us, anon draws from 2 sources: Complete lunacy, and starcraft lore with a twist.

    Metagaming is entirely half effective Mr Big.
    I would like you to remember that.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 12/29/11(Thu)01:07 No.17363296

    Yes we've relied on metagaming before, but CA has been talking about upping the ante on these games. Frankly, throwing us for a loop by using our meta knowledge against us would be just the kind of thing I'd expect.
    >> EnthusiasmBrate 12/29/11(Thu)01:10 No.17363328
    rolled 28, 12 = 40

    ...I have no counter argument.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/29/11(Thu)01:18 No.17363389
    >anon draws from 2 sources: Complete lunacy, and starcraft lore with a twist.

    (Dear GOD, they're on to me!)

    (Oh, but distracting you while an enemy sets up a serious strike on the heart of your territory is an old standby of mine, isn't it?)


    As we scramble forces to respond to the situation (to lesser minds, the phrase might be "gathering enough power to blot out the sun for a thousand years with the atomized remains of the slain"), we chat up the newcomer.

    "Samir Duran? That's not a lot of information. Who are you? More to the point, what are you?"

    The voice conjures a throaty chuckle. "I am merely a consciousness, just as Kerrigan and you are consciousnesses, too strong for the immediate thrall of a master. I am an individual amongst the Swarm. Surely, given all the leeway you give your Sister, you cannot condemn me for desiring some level of autonomy?"

    (Damnit, captcha. Just post!)
    >> TUCAMP 12/29/11(Thu)01:22 No.17363413
    Since when were you part of the swarm? I've never heard of you before. And more to the point, if that's the case, why is it that Sis sounded distraught?
    >> Big Fat Zergling 12/29/11(Thu)01:24 No.17363442

    One should be happy with their place in the swarm. Hey, now that you've mentioned her, how is our dear little sister? It would be so nice to hear her voice again. Her voice calms us, soothes us. Why, speaking to her might very well prevent us from acting irrationally and crushing the minds of every sapient being within a hundred lightyears and giving their fleshy remains to the physical manifestation of our...less savory urges.

    We do so wish to speak with our dear, sweet sister.
    >> Anonymous 12/29/11(Thu)01:27 No.17363459
    Seconding this, since if he had been linked into the Swarm we would have known his memories.

    Also, where is Warbrate with those Dropservers and that recon data?
    >> Anonymous 12/29/11(Thu)01:28 No.17363466

    I'm preeetty sure that we would've known if you were a part of the Swarm or not right off the bat. And right now, you're not giving off any zergy signals. Your voice doesn't even echo the right way!

    And we don't have any leeway to give to Kerrigan. She is a completely separate and independent entity from ourselves.


    >To: Warbrate, Gorn, relevant military 'brates
    >From: Hassassin Brood Head Cerebrate
    >Subject: Umojan Invasion Force (URGENT)

    >> EnthusiasmBrate 12/29/11(Thu)01:28 No.17363470
    rolled 27, 52 = 79

    "NO! You shall not corrupt the lessons we have so harshly learned with blood and suffering. Even as the cerebrate of change, we do not embrace one thing. We do not embrace, or even tolerate the forcible subjugation of our fellow cerebrates. Tell me now Duran. What have you done to my Kerrigan? What have you dared to do to my beloved sister?! I pray for your sake you give me the right answer."

    Been a while since I banged out a mediocre speech... About a week infact! Ahah- back to point, from where warbrate is at right now, how long do we figure until we are ready to move in articulate force against Umoja? There is only so much we can stall with folks, even if we /will/ find a way for kerrigans sake.

    Captcha: checked elprov

    Oh and make sure we check the Elprov system for any secret foes moving against us. Anon may have just been toying with us but captcha also might be hinting.
    >> Anonymous 12/29/11(Thu)01:30 No.17363488
    Anyone consider yet that the dude had been the one to mention Umoja? As in, he wished for us to be given that tidbit? If an enemy throws you information it's only natural to be suspect of it. There could be some kind of trap. Jumping face-first into the place might not be the best idea.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 12/29/11(Thu)01:32 No.17363499

    That's why everyone is saying we need to get some cloaklords and dropservers in system ASAP
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/29/11(Thu)01:38 No.17363539
    "Oh, that's hardly fair, Cerebrate. We both know that your mind isn't connected closely enough with Kerrigan's to sense every addition to her Swarm. And, with essentially two Swarms, there was bound to be a development or two you were unaware of. This is no different than the divergence of the Swarms following the death of the Overmind, really. You didn't interfere then. Why would you, now?"

    "I've not hurt her, if that's what you're asking. I'm merely trying to blaze my own trail within the Swarm. Surely, of all Cerebrates, you can understand my desire for individuality?"


    Warbrate and Gorn report that forces are ready to Warp in, but that it's near-impossible to distinguish between which forces are Kerrigan's and Duran's. Clearly, the planet is embroiled in a Zerg Civil War, but we can't tell which side is which.
    >> timetravelbrate 12/29/11(Thu)01:45 No.17363591
    Mindless drones.
    I say Duran has raised a good point. Having two swarms, or now apparently three, leaves things too much out of our control.
    Kill everything that isn't either Kerrigan or Duran themselves.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 12/29/11(Thu)01:45 No.17363600

    Foolish child, you know /nothing/ of us. We do as we will because that is our charge as directed by our father. We have no desire for individuality, that was simply a by-product of carrying out our duties.

    Cease your clumsy attempts at manipulation and deliver to us our sister Kerrigan. She will be returned to us alive and unharmed.

    Refuse us this simple request as we promise you will regret your individuality for a long, long time.
    >> Anonymous 12/29/11(Thu)01:47 No.17363614
    >You didn't interfere then. Why would you, now?
    "Because then, the Overmind gave its blessing to Kerrigan, and so we did not interfere in her path. You have no such protection."
    >Surely, of all Cerebrates, you can understand my desire for individuality?
    "Understand it? Yes. Allow it? No.
    "You exist because we allow it. And you will die because we demand it."
    >> timetravelbrate 12/29/11(Thu)01:50 No.17363628
    It's a shame. Ideologically, I'd be inclined to give Duran his freedom and control of a small brood of his own. More innovation can only be good for the greater Zerg cause.

    But he fucked with our little sister and that just can't go unanswered.
    >> EnthusiasmBrate 12/29/11(Thu)01:51 No.17363643
    rolled 93, 51 = 144

    Its really the only option... But at least we wont be losing anything irreplaceable in the process right? Making new strains just doesnt seem to be in Kerrigans style.
    >> TUCAMP 12/29/11(Thu)01:52 No.17363648
    "It sounds like it's time for us to bring Kerri into the discussion. If we can negotiate a peace that everyone can agree upon, all the better."

    And we get ready to purge the planet, but I will entertain the possibility that Duran is being upfront about things.
    >> Anonymous 12/29/11(Thu)02:00 No.17363716
    If we bring a Cloaklord into range of the planet, could we make contact with Kerrigan?
    Or would that only allow Duran to suborn the Cloaklord psionically?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/29/11(Thu)02:17 No.17363797
         File1325143040.jpg-(103 KB, 512x278, Samir_Duran_and_lab_by_Oyee.jpg)
    103 KB
    (Goddamnit, /tg/, I've got hiccups. Terrible hiccups. I haven't had hiccups in six months. I blame you guys. I don't know how you gave me hiccups, but I'm sure you're somehow to blame)


    Duran sounds perplexed. "No? That's all you have? What do you mean, no?"

    "We mean no. While our differentiation from the Swarm was preordained by the Overmind, yours is unsanctioned. You are a rebel. You are an insurgent. You bring chaos to order. And you threaten our dearest sister."

    Warbrate and Gorn bristle with anticipation. We may not know which side is which, but we know that one side or the other will suffer immensely and without mercy. We just need to be sure we're decimating the right army.

    (Alright, these damn hiccups are unbearable, and I'm really, really drunk. Too drunk to narrate a proper planetary bombardment. I'll catch you kids the week after next. Be there, be square, or perhaps even be both at once!)


    (*HIC!* Damnit. *HIC!* This is like *HIC!* a Looney Tunes cartoon)
    >> Anonymous 12/29/11(Thu)02:20 No.17363814
         File1325143228.jpg-(33 KB, 560x405, Square.jpg)
    33 KB

    Can I be this?
    >> Big Fat Zergling 12/29/11(Thu)02:24 No.17363842

    Great. Now we have to wait until next year to see Duran get his ass kicked.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/29/11(Thu)02:55 No.17364034
    Son of a BITCH!

    I've been trying to submit this for 40 minutes, and now 4Chan bothers to tell me it posted the first time?

    Goddamnit. I'm going to go pass the fuck out, now.

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