One time it so happened that Hani had raided in Norway, and when he was ready to put out to sea, some Norwegian chieftains rode up in that place. They asked who these men were and where they came from.

“I am named Hani Sólósson,” said Hani, “Some call me Hólmgöngu-Hani. And this follower of mine is a Frisian man named Tsiubakka. We have come here from Denmark and we are merchants.

“If you really are merchants,” said a chieftain, “Then you will have wares on your ship which you will want to sell, and we will want to buy, and let us see your cargo.”

These men went up on the ship, and they found many treasures which Hani and Tsiubakka had stolen from them. They took these, and they wanted to kill Hólmgöngu-Hani.

“Do not kill him,” said the first chieftain, “For I knew him from the beginning, and I knew his father. He is no friend of King Falfaðinn, and neither are we. But we shall take all these wares which he has stolen, and we shall not pay him.”

But since it was getting toward autumn, and Hani had no loot to give to King Jabbi, he hastened as swiftly as possible to Iceland and there thought to avoid the wrath of King Jabbi, till he could acquire some kind of tribute which he could deliver to the king.

A man was named Vattó, an old man and short, but a good farmer and a relative of Hani’s on his mother’s side. He lived on Iceland, at the farm called Mósæsli; Hólmgöngu-Hani stayed there that winter. There were also many other robbers and outlaws who were staying as guests at Mósæsli, for Vattó was himself an exile and had no love for kings. Some have even said that his farm was the most wretched hive of scum and villainy.

Holy fucking shit.

A man was named Grídó, a retainer of King Jabbi; he did not like Hani and he coveted his ship. And when he learned that Hani had had his plunder stolen from him and had gone to Iceland, he asked the king: “Do you like the plunder which Hólmgöngu-Hani brings you, king?”

“I like it well,” said King Jabbi.

“Then you would really like it,” said Grídó, “If you had all of that which you own, but as it stands you have far from it. It is the much greater part, which Hani keeps to himself. He sends you as a gift three bearskins, but I know for certain that he keeps thirty of them to himself, which you own, and I think that the same thing must be true of other things. But now I have learned that he has gone to Iceland with a great deal of property which he intends to sell there, and you own all of that. Truly, king, if you gave me his good ship, I would bring you more plunder.”

And everything that Grídó said about Hani, his companions bore witness to. It came to the point that King Jabbi was at his angriest.

“Bring me,” said King Jabbi, “The ship, and everything that is on it, and kill Hólmgöngu-Hani Sólósson and Tsiubakka the Frisian, if they refuse to come before me.”

Chapter 18: Concerning Leia and the Sons of Dítú

A woman was named Leia; she was the daughter of Beilorgana, king of the Aldiran Regions in Ireland. Relations were cool between Beilorgana and Falfadinn, for Falfadinn, King of Norway, claimed to be King of Ireland as well, and he raided widely in the Aldiran Regions.

There were many chieftains in many lands who greatly disliked King Falfadinn, but did not like Jabbi, King of the Danes, either. Many went to new lands, to the Faroes or to Iceland or to the Hebrides or to the Orkneys or to the Shetlands. But the army of Falfadinn was great, and he had many large warships, and he raided the lands of those who would not acknowledge his absolute authority. He had many good men killed, and others he enslaved. He was a very unpopular king. And because King Falfadinn wanted to intimidate all who stood against him, he ordered to be built the greatest ship which men had ever seen upon the seas, and that ship held such a store of men and weapons that they could pillage an entire large city. And a name was given to that ship, and it was called Daudastjarna (Death-Star).

A man was named Thrípíó Dítússon; he was an Irish man and a priest. And because Ireland was a Christian land, and Thrípíó knew many languages, he went to Norway, in Koruskantborg, and wished to teach men the true faith. There he met his brother, Artú Dítússon, who had been a slave to Víga-Óbívan Kvæggansson of the Jedi Fjord family in Iceland. And because he had long been among heathen men, Artú himself had become heathen.

Artú Dítússon disliked his enslavement, but he liked King Falfadinn the less because he had ordered Kvæggan Dúkússon killed, and Kvæggan had promised that he should free Artú from his enslavement. But the son of Kvæggan, Víga-Óbívan, who survived, did not wish to free Artú, and Artú had become a free man only after Víga-Óbívan hastened back to Iceland one time and left Artú in Norway.

Man, that's awesome.

Where is this taken from?

>mfw reading this

Artú Dítússon was a skilled carpenter and smith, and because of this talent the rumor of this skilled freedman soon reached King Falfadinn, who bade Artú counsel him in shipbuilding; the king did not know that Artú hated him intensely. And it was Artú’s advice that the king should have a great dragon-head built on the Death-Star, hollow inside, and that it should be filled with ale, and Artú said that this would be a sacrifice to Rán (Norse sea goddess). And King Falfadinn said that Artú was a wise man, for he wanted to protect the great ship from the wrath of this goddess.

And when he had given this advice, Artú went back to Ireland with his brother, and told all this to King Beilorgana.

King Beilorgana suspected that King Falfadinn would want to attack the Aldiran Regions with this ship, and King Beilorgana wanted to ask the Shetlanders to help him. But “Because King Falfadinn rules the sea with his great navy, I will send my daughter, and some monks with her, and King Falfadinn will not suspect that I am sending them in order to incite the Shetlanders against him.”

A man was named Veidi-Anakinn. He was a retainer of Falfadinn and captain of his army; he was a very overbearing man, but comported himself well, and he was a great sorcerer. None saw his face, for he always had a great raven-black helmet upon his head, and with it a raven-black mask upon his face and a raven-black cape. Veidi-Anakinn was not a talkative man, but when he spoke, his voice was awesome and dim, and every one of his breaths was as audible and as resounding as the greatest storm. Most men called him Veidr, but all feared him, and he could cast a spell that made men fall to the earth in anguish, even though Veidr did not touch them.

>Where is this taken from?

I am Jarl Opi, good warrior, and I must admit that it is not my work, but that of the master of http://tattuinardoelasaga.wordpress.com/ which I have found today. If /tg/ deems it acceptable, I shall continue to post, for it is Yuletime and I wish to spread merriment and good cheer.

>>17352181

Oh, so they're not real sagas?

They're very well written.

Veidr learned that Artú Dítússon had advised the ship-building in Koruskantborg, and he thought that this was ill news, for he remembered that Artú had been the slave of the Jedi Fjord men, his enemies. And when he learned that Artú was on the ship of King Beilorgana and made for Shetland, he suspected that Artú must have given King Falfadinn some kind of bad advice. Veidr sailed his ship Stjörnufreki (Star-Destroyer) and sought this ship, and found it off of Iceland. His men went up on that ship, and there was a hard battle.

Princess Leia saw that the Irish were losing the battle, and she bade Artú and Thrípíó swim to the shore and there seek Víga-Óbívan Kvæggansson, if he still lived. She gave Artú a message that he should give to Víga-Óbívan; it was written in runes.

There were small boats on that ship, which hung from the stern; Princess Leia cut one of these loose, and the sons of Dítú swam under it.

One of Veidr’s warriors saw this boat, and said, “There sails another boat.”

“Don’t shoot it,” said another soldier, “There are no living things aboard. It must have been a stray axe blow that cut it loose.”

>>17352195
>they're not real sagas?
Read closely.

Chapter 19: Concerning the Sons of Dítú and Lúkr Anakinsson

Thrípíó and Artú Dítússon came ashore on Iceland near the Tattúín River Valley; there was a great deal of lava, for a volcano had erupted twenty years before, and there was much sand also, for the high tide was extreme in the Tattúín Fjord.

Thrípíó became angry. “What kind of deserted place is this?” he asked, “And probably no Christian men either, I guess.”

“There are Christian men on Iceland,” said Artú, “But they are mostly slaves. Follow me and let us find Víga-Óbívan Kvæggansson as soon as possible; his farm was nearby here. Still it is most likely that he is dead.”

“I don’t want to follow you,” said Thrípíó.

Artú asked where he would rather go.

“Where you aren’t going,” said Thrípíó, “For it is your fault that I am on this dangerous journey, and I would rather find some merchants who are going to Ireland or Norway. The devil take you and your heathen friend Víga-Óbívan.”

“I don’t believe that you have spoken in a Christian fashion,” said Artú, “But it is your decision. Still I shall seek Víga-Óbívan, though relations are cool between us. But I think that it’s most likely that the devil will take you, if you go the other way all on your own; there are many Icelanders who would want to enslave or kill an Irish man and Christian.”

“But it will still be your fault,” said Thrípíó, “If I am slain.”

“He is not to blame, who warns another,” said Artú.

Thrípíó walked a long time and saw neither man nor cattle. Finally he saw some men riding; he hailed them, but they did not hail him. They bound him and led him to their tents; there Thrípíó saw Artú Dítússon, his brother, and the brothers were glad to meet. Many thralls, men and women, were in these tents – they had captured by the sons of Javi, malicious robbers; the oldest of them was named Útíni.

A man was named Óinn; he was the son of Kléggr. Óinn was tall, with wolf-gray hair and thick, but he had begun to bald early. With him was his brother’s young son, who was named Lúkr Anakinsson; Óinn said that his brother Anakinn was dead. Lúkr was a big man, with light-brown hair and a broad reddish face, the noblest of men. Lúkr wanted to go on viking expeditions and raids, but Óinn forbade him that. Óinn and Lúkr were looking at the thralls.

Óinn saw the brown clothes of Thrípíó and said, “You must be a priest.”

“You are correct, good sir,” said Thrípíó, “And I speak many languages. I can speak Irish, Norse, English, Latin, French, German, Welsh -”

“Shut up,” said Óinn, “What I need is a thrall who speaks Scottish.”

“Scottish?” asked Thrípíó, “Good sir, I am an Irishman, and the Irish tongue is much like the Scottish. Scottish is like my mother-tongue, even though all languages are like my mother-tongue, because I rejoice in languages -”

“Shut up,” said Óinn. He told the robbers that he wanted to buy this man – “And do you have any good and skillful workmen?”

Útíni Javason said that the red-haired man was a very skillful workman; Óinn bought this man also.

Óinn said to Lúkr, “Take these men home and prepare them for work as soon as possible.”

Lúkr said then, “But I wanted to go to Taki Farm, where there are going to be horse-fights tonight.”

“You can play at the horse fights with the other boys some other day,” said Óinn, “Take these men home to Vatnabœr (Water-Farm).”

But the red-haired man walked slowly, and finally fell to the ground. Lúkr saw that he was covered with sores. “Uncle Óinn,” he said, “This red-haired man is sick.”

Óinn was extremely angry; he drew his sword and wanted to cut at Útíni Javason. But Thrípíó said to Lúkr, “Good sir, the short man there is very skillful with wood and iron; we have been enslaved together before. And he would be cheaper than before, if Útíni Javason fears the wrath of your uncle.” This short man was Artú Dítússon, his brother.

“Uncle Óinn,” said Lúkr, “Buy this short man.” Óinn did so, and the sons of Dítú followed Lúkr Anakinsson home.

“Don’t forget this,” said Thrípíó to his brother, “And why did I save you? You’re as heathen as they are.”

>>17352201
>One of Veidr’s warriors saw this boat, and said, “There sails another boat.”
>“Don’t shoot it,” said another soldier, “There are no living things aboard. It must have been a stray axe blow that cut it loose.”
oh my god i can't believe they fit that scene in

>>17352224

Holy

Fucking

Shit

Chapter 20: Concerning the Message of Princess Leia

At Water-Farm Thrípío took a bath, and was very glad for it; he praised God and the holy Bishop Patrick.

But Lúkr Anakinsson complained about his Uncle Óinn. “He is unfair,” said Lúkr, “My friend Biggs spoke truly: I will never get out of Iceland.”

Thrípíó heard his words and asked, “Can I help you, good sir?”

“Definitely,” said Lúkr, “If your Christ has given you the power to speed up time or to grant me wings so that I can fly off of this rock.”

“No, good sir,” said Thrípíó, “I am a priest and no wizard. And I must admit that I don’t know where I am in Iceland.”

Lúkr said, “If there is a valley in Iceland where one might see a fair hillside, shining fields, and a freshly-mown yard – you’re in the valley that it’s furthest from.”

“I see, good sir,” said Thrípíó.

But Lúkr said, “I am named Lúkr Anakinsson.”

“I am named Thrípíó Dítússon, and this man is my brother Artú,” said Thrípíó.

“Your clothes are very bloody,” observed Lúkr, “Were you in a fight?”

Thrípíó said, “We were on a ship when a battle broke up. But we ourselves are no warriors.”

But Lúkr took Artú’s bloody cape and there found the message written by Princess Leia. He began to read it. “I am no runemaster,” he said, “But these words say, ‘Help me, Víga-Óbívan Kvæggansson; you alone would dare to avenge me.’ I don’t know how to read any more words, because they are written poorly and hastily. What is this?”

Artú pretended not to speak Norse, and asked in Irish, “What is what?”

“What is what?” responded Thrípíó, “That was a question. What was written on that message which Princess Leia gave you?”

“That’s nothing,” said Artú, “An old message. I think that Princess Leia is long dead.” Thrípíó translated his words into Norse.

“Who is Princess Leia?” asked Lúkr, “What family is she from?”

Thrípíó began to answer, but Artú told him to be silent, saying, “This should not be hidden from you. I am not your slave, but rather I am a freedman of Víga-Óbívan Kvæggansson, and that man lived here in the Tattúín River Valley for a long time. This message is intended for him, and for no others. Do you know where he lives, or whether he lives?”

“I don’t know a Víga-Óbívan Kvæggansson,” said Lúkr, “But a man is named Óbívan the Old, who lives in the interior of Tattúín River Valley. Is he the same man?”

Artú said, “I don’t know. But that is most likely. Will you show me the way to this man’s house?”

“Certainly,” said Lúkr, “If you give an account of everything that is written in that message.”

“I cannot read runes,” said Artú.

“But I can read them,” said Thrípíó.

“Shut up, Thrípíó,” said Artú, “Or are you a coward? This man is not the one that Princess Leia wanted to ask for help from, and he is only a boy, and with little courage.”

Lúkr heard that his Aunt Bera called to him and said that it was a mealtime.

“Good sir,” said Thrípíó, “If you wish it, I will read this message while you eat, and afterward will tell you everything that is written in it.”

Lúkr said that this was most likely, because he was getting angry, and would attack Artú if he held on to the message longer. Then he went to his meal.

“I have saved you a second time,” said Thrípíó, “And I don’t know why. If you don’t give me that message and let me read it to him, he’ll kill you. How can we escape?”

“Truly you are a coward,” said Artú, “If I want to escape, I walk away.”

Lúkr went to the meal table, and said that he thought that the short slave had been stolen.

“Why do you think so?” asked Óinn.

“Because I found a message on him,” said Lúkr, “Written in runes, for a man named Víga-Óbívan Kvæggansson. And I thought it most likely that this man was the same as Óbívan the Old.”

“I don’t think so,” said Óinn, “I think that Víga-Óbívan Kvæggansson is dead; he died the same time as your father.”

“Did he know my father?” asked Lúkr.

“What would that matter to you?” asked Óinn, “He is dead. In the morning, take these new thralls to the south ridge; I want them to work there.”

“And if they work well,” said Lúkr, “I want to request again, Uncle, that in the summer you buy me a ship and weapons, and let me go on viking raids.”

“The summer is when I need you the most,” said Óinn, “And you shall not leave.”

Lúkr was extremely angry, as red as blood; he left the house and went into the mountains.

“Óinn,” said Bera, the wife of Óinn, “Why do you deny him again? Most of his friends go on raids and kill many men, and come back to Iceland with treasure and thralls. He doesn’t want to stay here and sow grain; he is no farmer. He is bold and ambitious like his father.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” said Óinn Kléggsson.

Chapter 21: Concerning Víga-Óbívan Kvæggansson

Lúkr stood on a mountaintop and looked at where the sun was setting, and the glacier before him was like a mirror, and therein it seemed as though a second sun were setting. For this reason the mountain was called Tvísólatindr (Two Sun Mountain), and Lúkr would often stand there alone and recall the sagas about vikings and kings.

But then Thrípíó came and said that his brother Artú had run away.

“Did you try,” asked Lúkr, “To hinder him?”

“Yes, good sir,” said Thrípíó, “But he is much stronger than I am, and he talks still about Víga-Óbívan Kvæggansson.”

“Say nothing to Uncle Óinn,” said Lúkr, “For he will be furious. But in the morning we must seek Artú, and if he is lying about having been the slave of Víga-Óbívan Kvæggansson, I shall kill him right away. But I don’t wish to look for him tonight, because robbers, the sons of Tuskinn, live among the lava and the sand dunes, and Uncle Óinn will not allow me to bear weapons.”

Lúkr had a good horse, chestnut in color; this horse was named Landhraðfœrr (Land-Speedy). In the morning he and Thrípíó rode this good horse and they sought for Artú.

There is a great canyon in Tattúín River Valley, which is called Stafkarlsgjá (Beggar’s Canyon); there dwelt Óbívan the Old, and there they looked for Artú. They found him soon, but Artú did not wish to come with them.

“You are the thrall of Lúkr Anakinsson now,” said Thrípíó, “And why do you want to run away? He could bring you to this Óbívan if you would show him the message.”

“You slander me,” said Thrípíó, “And yet I have saved you twice.”

Artú said, “Do you hear something? I thought that I heard the sound of horsemen.”

Thrípíó said this to Lúkr.

“The sons of Tuskinn,” said Lúkr, “And I am unarmed. Let us leave this instant.”

But a man came riding at Lúkr. He was masked, and his horse was shaggy, big, and filthy. This man had a staff in his left hand, and a sword in his right. The sword hit Thrípíó’s hand and cut it off. But the staff hit Lúkr in the head; he fell to the ground unable to fight. But Artú was a small man and found a hiding place in a cave.

Other robbers followed now; they ransacked the possessions of Lúkr and Thrípíó. But when they had drawn their swords and were about to deal them their death blows, an old, white-bearded man came walking over a ridge; he made a great deal of noise. The robbers laughed at this old man, but then he drew his sword; he ran forward thereupon and swiftly killed a man. He cut with his right hand at the leg of another man, above the knee, and then he leapt at this man and stabbed him through. All the others fled.

This white-bearded man knelt next to Lúkr, and said that he was neither dead nor much injured.

Lúkr awoke. “Óbívan?” he asked, “Óbívan the Old? I rejoice that I see you.”

“The Gungan Lava Field is not easily traveled,” said Óbívan, “Tell me, young Lúkr, why have you come so deep into the Tattúín River Valley?”

Lúkr said, “Because of this thrall. He is searching for his master, who freed him. Never have I seen such a loyal thrall. He says that his master was named Víga-Óbívan Kvæggansson. Is he a kinsman of yours? Do you know the man?”

But Óbívan said, “Víga-Óbívan Kvæggansson. Víga-Óbívan. I have not heard that name in a long time.”

“I think that Uncle Óinn knows the man,” said Lúkr, “He told me that he was dead.”

“He is not dead,” said Óbívan, “But certainly all men must die.”

“You know him?” asked Lúkr.

“Certainly,” said Óbívan, “I am Víga-Óbívan Kvæggansson. I have not used that name since your birth.”

Lúkr said, “Then Artú Dítússon must surely be your thrall.”

“Yes,” said Óbívan, “But I don’t seem to remember ever freeing a thrall. Now, we must get inside as soon as possible; I can easily startle the sons of Tuskinn, but they will soon be back, and in greater numbers.”

Lúkr Anakinsson and Víga-Óbívan Kvæggansson sat at Víga-Óbívan’s house.

“You have told me,” said Lúkr, “That my father was a viking and a warrior. This is not true – my father was a steersman on a merchant ship, and he died in a shipwreck.”

“This is what your uncle told you,” said Víga-Óbívan, “For he is a cowardly man, and mocks those who dare greater deeds than does he.”

Lúkr asked, “Did you fight in the wars against King Falfadinn?”

“Yes,” said Víga-Óbívan Kvæggansson, “I am a man of the Jedi Fjords, and your father was my comrade. We fought many battles against King Falfadinn, but at last he triumphed with his greater army.”

“I wish that I had known my father,” said Lúkr.

“One thing that your uncle told was true – your father was a good steersman. But he was a great viking also. I have heard it said, that you yourself have become quite a steersman. And I have something here which your father asked me to give to you, but your uncle has prevented me. He fears always that you shall become a greater man than he is.” Víga-Óbívan drew forth a great sword, and it seemed to Lúkr as though green flames leapt from the edges. “This good sword is called Lightsaber the Green. It was your father’s sword – a weapon that my grandfather forged long ago beneath the mountains which rise above the Jedi Fjords. The man who wields a sword stands never so far from his foe as he who draws a bow or casts a spear. This is a manlier weapon, from a more warlike age.”

“How did it come to pass that my father died?” Lúkr asked.

Víga-Óbívan said: “A young man of the Jedi Fjords named Veidi-Anakinn, or Veidr, was like a brother to me, but he betrayed us. He killed your father in a cowardly way – it was a night-killing.”

“I would like to kill him,” said Lúkr, “But how could I leave Iceland?”

I need to know where on that wordpress would the first entry in this saga be. Reading this...it gives me some new measure of hope for the internet.

“We shall see,” said Víga-Óbívan, “But first let me read this message from Princess Leia.”

Artú gave the message to Víga-Óbívan, ok Víga-Óbívan read it aloud. “Víga-Óbívan Kvæggansson, many years ago you fought against King Falfadinn with my father-”

“This is a lie,” said Víga-Óbívan, “Her father was an Irishman and a coward,” but he continued: “Now my father requests that you help him. Artú Dítússon knows something which could do great injury to Falfadinn’s kingdom. You must bring him back to the Aldiran Regions, where you and my father will surely find some counsel against our present difficulty. I am a prisoner of Veidr’s; it is probable that he will have had me killed before you can read this message. Help me, Víga-Óbívan Kvæggansson; you alone would dare to avenge me.”

“You must come with me to the Aldiran Regions, young Lúkr,” said Víga-Óbívan, “For I have become too old, and cannot well fight any longer.”

But Lúkr responded, “To the Aldiran regions? No, good sir! I must get home. My uncle will be angry!”

“That is your uncle talking, even though it is your lips that move,” said Víga-Óbívan, “But you will do what you feel is manliest, of course.”

>>17352412

The author has done all the prequels too. Chapter 1 is here:
http://tattuinardoelasaga.wordpress.com/2010/03/01/i-kap/

I started at Chapter 17, which is here:
http://tattuinardoelasaga.wordpress.com/2010/08/05/xvii-kap/

Chapter 23: Concerning the Burning of Óinn (English)

Víga-Óbívan Kvæggansson used his healing stone on Thrípíó, and healed the arm which had been cut off in battle.

“I have healed your thrall,” Víga-Óbívan said to Lúkr, “If you will not come with me to the Aldiran regions, do I not yet deserve some recompense for having helped you in this way?”

“Certainly you are owed recompense,” said Lúkr, “Name your price.”

Víga-Óbívan said, “Take me to Mósæsli, and there I intend to find someone who can bring me to the Aldiran regions. Many men are there who hate King Falfadinn. But I don’t want to go so far alone, and I have no horse such as yours.”

But when they had traveled some way into the Gungan Lava Fields, they saw many burnt tents and horses, and the corpses of men as well.

“These are the men who took my brother and me as thralls,” said Thrípíó.

“He is right,” said Lúkr, “These are the sons of Javi and their men, who sold these thralls to Uncle Óinn. But who would shoot them all, and burn their homes? The sons of Tuskinn? These tracks here are like those which their horses make – the sons of Tuskinn ride extremely big horses. And yet the sons of Tuskinn and of Javi had made peace; Útíni Javason was married to Tuskinn’s daughter.”

Víga-Óbívan said, “These are not the doings of the sons of Tuskinn, but those who did these things wished us to believe so. These horse tracks run side-by-side, but the sons of Tuskinn always ride single-file so that their enemies will not guess their numbers. And these arrows – there is no bowman on Iceland so skillful, but the king’s men are famous for their archers. If a man wants to be the king’s bowman, he must first be able to shoot a blunt arrow through a raw ox hide hanging from a rafter.”

“Why would the king’s men come all the way from Norway to Iceland to shoot robbers and burn their tents?” asked Lúkr, but he saw then Thrípíó and Artú. “They would have come to find the Irishmen, and if they learned that the sons of Javi captured them, they would have learned that they had sold them, and that they now lived at… home!”

“Don’t go, Lúkr!” Víga-Óbívan called out, “It is most likely that the king’s men are already gone. You won’t find anyone there to avenge your relatives on!” But Lúkr rode home.

>>17352453
A thousand blessings to you! May the All-Father guide your blade.

Lúkr came back as evening fell, and found the bonfire which Víga-Óbívan had made and cremated the corpses of the Javi sons on.

“Uncle Óinn and Aunt Bera are burnt,” said Lúkr, “As are the houses, the livestock, and all the thralls.”

“You could not have helped them, even if you had been there, Lúkr,” said Víga-Óbívan, “Your uncle was a coward, and would not allow you to be trained to use weapons.”

“Coward or not,” said Lúkr, “It falls to me to avenge him.”

But Víga-Óbívan replied, “Then come with me to the Aldiran regions. There is nothing left for you here. Yes, come with me now, join in battle, become a warrior like your father was. After many battles you will be ready, and will be able to avenge your uncle – yes, and your father.”

On the evening of the second day thereafter, Víga-Óbívan Kvæggansson and Lúkr Anakinsson arrived at Mósæsli, the farm of Vattó. There were gathered also a great number of King Falfadinn’s enemies, but many robbers and outlaws and other disagreeable men stayed as Vattó’s guests too.

But there had also come some men in the service of Veidr, and they were clad in white armor. Men avoided them, but these Norwegian soldiers stood not far from Vattó’s house, and they asked tidings of all who came that way, saying that they were looking for two Irishmen.

Now these soldiers approached Lúkr Anakinsson. One of them asked Lúkr whether he had owned these thralls for very long. Lúkr said that he had owned them three or four years, and that he was willing to sell them.

The soldier asked then for Lúkr’s name. But the enchantment of the Jedi Fjord men followed Víga-Óbívan Kvæggansson. He cast a spell upon the soldiers, and he made them believe that all words which he spoke were true.

“You don’t need to hear his name,” said Víga-Óbívan.

“We don’t need to learn his name,” said the soldier.

“These are not the thralls you’re looking for,” continued Víga-Óbívan.

“These are not the thralls we’re looking for,” said the soldier.

“He can go freely about his business,” said Víga-Óbívan.

“He can go freely about his business,” said the soldier.

“Move along on your way,” said Víga-Óbívan.

“Move along, move along,” said the soldier.

Lúkr said, “I don’t understand how we escaped.”

“An enchantment follows my family; we can easily cow those who are unwise, and make them believe that all of our words are true, if they do not sound too unlikely,” said Víga-Óbívan, “And I believe that this same enchantment runs in your family.”

“Do you think that we can find a ship here which can take us to the Aldiran regions?” asked Lúkr.

“Yes,” said Víga-Óbívan, “There are many good sea captains here, with many good ships. But watch yourself – there are also many desperate Vikings, and they will think nothing of murdering some farmer’s son.”

“I’m ready,” said Lúkr, “To fight any one of them.”

“That I doubt,” said Víga-Óbívan.

Now Víga-Óbívan and Lúkr entered the house, and with them were Artú and Thrípíó, the sons of Dítú. But the woman who was serving mead saw these Irishmen, and said that she would never serve mead to slaves, and never bid an Irishman welcome in the house of Vattó.

“Alright, Thrípíó,” said Lúkr, “You and Artú aren’t welcome here. Wait outside with my horse.”

“Very well, Sir,” said Thrípíó, and the two brothers went outside.

There were many men therein, and the diversity of their clothes and tongues betrayed that they had come from many lands. They sat at many small tables, and they drank and talked together, and some played table games, while four men played horns and made music.

Víga-Óbívan began to talk to some men, but Lúkr sat at a table and drank mead on his own. Then a man shook him, speaking a language he did not understand. Lúkr acted as if he could not hear the man.

Then a second man shook him and said in Norse, “He doesn’t like you.”

“That is hardly remarkable news, that one man should not like another,” said Lúkr, “But why do you feel compelled to tell me this?”

“I myself don’t like you either,” said the second man, “And I am an outlaw, with my neck ordered cut the moment I set foot on the shore of any of twelve kingdoms.”

“I’ll be careful,” said Lúkr.

“You’ll be dead,” said the man.

“It’s the same to you,” said Víga-Óbívan coming closer, “Whether or not you kill this boy; we all know that you’re a good Viking, Efazan, and this boy is no fighter. Don’t waste your axe on such a little tree; drink some mead, and I’ll fill you another hornful of it.”

But Efazan became very angry at these words; he picked up an axe that lay near him, and he cut at Víga-Óbívan. But Víga-Óbívan had a sword balanced over his shoulder, and he cut swiftly in return, hitting the hand of the first man and breaking his arm. Then he brought the sword back up and hit Efazan in the head; that was his deathblow.

“Now come, Lúkr, I have found a ship that should serve us well,” said Víga-Óbívan.

Lúkr met the man, and he was imposing – tall and rather sunburnt, with brown hair. “I am named Hani, son of Jarl Sóló,” said the man, “Some men call me Dueling Hani. My ship is the Thousand-Year Falcon. Tsiubakka my comrade tells me that you seek to sail to the Aldiran Regions, and I can take you there, if it’s worth enough money to you.”

“Certainly it is,” said Víga-Óbívan, “If it’s a fast ship.”

“Fast ship?” said Dueling Hani, “Have you never heard of the Thousand-Year Falcon?”

“I am certain that I have not,” said Víga-Óbívan, “But is that surprising?”

“It is the ship that won the victory in the great rowing race at Kesseley, when Tsiubakka and I rowed the course in twelve hours,” said Dueling Hani, “The ship is faster than any ship of Falfadinn, even those well-renowned Korellian ships. It is fast enough for your purpose, old man. What is the cargo?”

“Men only,” said Víga-Óbívan, “And we are four: I, the boy, two Irishmen, and no questions asked.”

“What is this? Some kind of local trouble?” asked Hani.

“I would rather not meet Falfadinn’s soldiers, if it’s necessary to put it that way,” said Víga-Óbívan.

“I understand,” said Dueling Hani, “But that is difficult to do – and expensive. And I will take both of the Irishmen, if I bring you both to the Aldiran Regions without the knowledge of Falfadinn.”

“Both of the Irishmen?” said Lúkr, “They are worth a ship on their own. Óbívan, why shouldn’t we buy a ship? Why do we site here letting this viking swindle us?”

“You could buy a ship, boy,” said Hani laughing aloud, “But who would steer it? You?”

“Certainly I would. I am not a bad steersman,” said Lúkr and stood up.

“Sit, Lúkr,” said Víga-Óbívan, “We can give you one of the thralls here, and the other in the Aldiran Regions once we get there. And I have a chest of gold there, which I shall give you in addition.”

“A chest of gold?” said Dueling Hani, “Well, I like the terms of this agreement. But if you lie, I will kill both you and the boy.”

“Naturally,” said Víga-Óbívan.

“Tsiubakka and I will go to prepare the ship,” said Dueling Hani, “But hide yourselves till the night-meal hour. I think that Falfadinn’s men prowl even here, and your recent manslaughter was rather careless with such men about.”

Chapter 26: Concerning Grídó the Green, His Duel against Hani

>Translator's Note: I am aware of a separate manuscript tradition wherein Hani throws his axe only after Gríðó throws his, but this appears to be a clumsy later emendation made by medieval editors who wished to present Hólmgǫngu-Hani in a more chivalric light. That same manuscript tradition has a scene where King Jabbi confronts Hani in Mósæsli. Modern scholars disagree about whether this was a part of the written saga as originally composed, but I have chosen to excise it from this presentation since I regard it as probably excrescent; it is rather difficult to understand what the narrative justification is supposed to be for the King of Denmark himself to travel all the way to Iceland to confront (very briefly) someone who owes him some back taxes. Especially right after one of his own agents has already done so.

Grídó the Green was the name of a man, big and strong, a close relative of Jabbi, the King of the Danes. He was quite savage and arrogant, a liar and a bully about everything. He had a bad temper with everyone, but worst with those who were the enemies of his cousin Jabbi. He beat men, if Jabbi did not get what he wanted from them, and stole from them what he might before he turned them over to the king. He was always visiting many different places in many lands, and was loved by no one.

As was told before, Grídó had falsely accused Hani the Duelist of stealing loot from King Jabbi, and the king had bidden Grídó to kill Hani and his comrade Tsiubakka the Frisian, and come back to Denmark with all the loot which Jabbi, King of the Danes, regarded as rightfully his own.

En when Grídó saw Hani the Duelist at Mósæsli, he was reminded of these things, and he wished to kill Hani immediately. He approached him with axe drawn and said, “Where are you going, Hani son of Sóló?”

“Hello, Grídó,” said Hani, “I am planning on visiting your king soon. Tell him that I have his loot.”

“It is too late for that,” said Grídó the Green, laughing aloud, “Why did you not pay him before, when you were nearer Denmark? It is a great reward indeed which he who kills Hani the Duelist and Tsiubakka the Frisian will receive. And that reward is greater than any of your loot is worth, or so I reckon. I’m lucky that I found you first.”

“Certainly you are lucky,” said Hani, “But I have his loot. Let me give it to him myself, and then you can take the reward on my head, if he still wants me dead.”

“If you give me this loot which you say you have, I can forget that I saw you,” said Grídó, “But otherwise you’re dead.”

“I don’t have the loot with me here,” said Hani, “Tell Jabbi…”

“Shut up, Hani,” said Grídó, and laughed, “You are the most cowardly man, always unwilling to put up a fight.”

“Those are dueling words, and I will challenge you to a duel on those grounds,” said Hani.

“What kind of duel would this be?” asked Grídó, “This is no place for a duel.”

“Let us throw axes,” said Hani the Duelist, “My father was a great viking, and I think this to be the manliest of sports.”

“Certainly it is,” said Grídó, “And we shall throw our axes at the same time.” He heaved up his axe, and Hani heaved up his own.

But Hani threw his axe first, and the axe dug all the way into the brain of Grídó, who fell down dead straightaway.

And then Hani the Duelist spoke this stanza:

I know what is proper:
I pray, with happy heart,
To all the mighty spirits of battle,
The ones who crafted the stars in the heavens,
And all the gods of war,
That a bloody eagle
Will perch with blood-stained beak
Above the rotting remains of Grídó’s scalp. I killed him.

Then Hani the Duelist, son of Jarl Sóló, left the house, and with him was Tsiubakka the Frisian.

Chapter 27: Concerning the Godlessness of Hani the Duelist

The next day Lúkr saw the ship which was called the Thousand Year Falcon, and it did not impress him. “This does not look like a good ship,” he said.

“What do I care what it looks like?” said Hani the Duelist. “It’s a fast ship, and I have worked a long time to make it faster. Now, come hastily, we need to leave immediately.”

But while Hani was saying this, and Tsiubakka was weighing anchor, Falfadinn’s men came and shot arrows at them. Hani went aboard the ship and shot back, and killed many men.

Tsiubakka steered the ship out of the harbor at Tattúín River, and all men there marveled at how swiftly that ship moved. Soon they escaped the soldiers, but then they saw that some Norwegian ships were in the harbor, and they came nearer, shooting arrows all the while.

“Why don’t we get away from them?” asked Lúkr, “You said that this was a fast ship!”

“Fast, yes!” said Hani the Duelist, “So fast, that if I miscalculate, we’ll soon be right under those Norwegian ships! And that wouldn’t be useful. Let me and Tsiubakka calculate our route, and sit down! Soon we’ll be moving faster than you can believe.”

And so it was; the ship moved so swiftly that none of Falfadinn’s ships could follow.

*

Later Hani, seeing that the others were still grim, turned to Víga-Óbívan and the rest and said, “You can forget about King Falfadinn’s men and his ships. None of them can follow us, as swiftly as we’re moving now.”

But all were silent.

“It is not necessary,” said Hani the Duelist, “That you should all thank me at once.”

They were silent still, and Víga-Óbívan acted as though he had a headache.

“What troubles you, Víga-Óbívan?” Lúkr asked.

“It was as though I heard thousands of voices cry out full of terror,” said Víga-Óbívan, “But they were silenced immediately. I fear that men have died unavenged today.”

“You will claim that you have the second sight,” said Hani the Duelist, “But men die unavenged every day.”

Artú Dítusson and Tsiubakka the Frisian were playing a table-game in a corner, and Artú kept winning. Tsiubakka was surpassingly angry, for he was accustomed to winning when he played this game. But Artú mocked him in Frisian, for he knew this language.

“You are not a wise man,” said Hani the Duelist to Artú, and Thrípíó translated his words into Irish, “I advise you to let the Frisian win.”

“But why, good sir?” asked Thrípíó, “Why don’t you advise the Frisian to let the Irishman win?”

“Because Irishmen aren’t accustomed to tear men apart when they lose table games,” said Hani the Duelist.

But while Artú and Tsiubakka played the game, Víga-Óbívan was teaching Lúkr to fight with the sword Lightsaber the Green. Víga-Óbívan had set a helmet on Lúkr’s head and turned it backwards so that Lúkr could not see.

“But with the helmet sitting over my eyes, I’m blind. How do you expect me to fight?” asked Lúkr. And he cut with the sword, but stumbled, and Hani laughed.

“Your eyes are unexperienced,” said Víga-Óbívan, “And full of fear. Don’t trust them! But the luck of the Jedi Fjord men follows you, as it followed your father; the Norns will guide your sword if you trust in them, and your sword will cut where it is destined to cut.”

“You are a man of great faith, Víga-Óbívan,” said Hani the Duelist, “But faith is useless. I’ve sailed from Norway to Iceland, and from Denmark to England, and I have never seen a god – neither a Christian nor a heathen one. Have you ever seen a god, or even this luck which you think follows your family?”

Víga-Óbívan had a healing stone which he kept on his neck; this stone had belonged to Meis Vindússon before he was killed by Veidr. “This healing stone,” said Víga-Óbívan to Hani, and handed it to him, “Is powerfully lucky.”

But Hani the Duelist laughed, and he spoke this poem:

I have lived a long time,
I have let the gods do as they will,
I have never worn
Lucky socks,
Never carried a bag of herbs
Around my neck, -
But I am living still.

“Do you believe in anything?” Lúkr asked Hani.

“Certainly,” Hani replied, “I believe in myself. And in my axe.” And so saying, he swung his axe upon Víga-Óbívan’s stone of healing, and the stone burst asunder. “Gods and luck are useless if you have a good axe at your side, boy.”

Chapter 28: Concerning the Burning of Aldiranborg

The saga turns now to Veidr, as he sailed to Ireland on the ship which was called Daudastjarna, and the captain of that ship was a man from Oslo, Tarkinn by name, Jarl of Stórmof; he was rather aged. They had more than a hundred ships in their following when they sailed into the harbor of Aldiranborg, and the entire harbor was full of Norwegian warships as far as men could stretch their eyes.

Then Tarkinn summoned Leia and meant to declare his intent to her. But when she came near, she said, “Tarkinn Jarl of Stórmof. There was really no doubt that it would be you who held Veidr’s reins.”

“Princess Leia,” said Tarkinn, “You are charming as always, but doomed to death on account of your treason against Falfadinn, King of Norway and Ireland and all islands in the Northern Ocean. But before we kill you, I want to show you how powerful is King Falfadinn and this ship of his. Soon no islands will dare continue to stand against the King of Norway.”

“The tighter you squeeze your hand,” said Leia, “The more islands will slip from your grip.”

“We’ll see about that,” said Tarkinn, “After the full power of this ship and its army is demonstrated. King Falfadinn has sent out the war-arrow all across his kingdom, and there is a great army assembled on our many ships. This ship alone contains enough men to destroy an entire city… Aldiranborg, to name an example.”

“No!” said Leia. “Aldiranborg is a peaceful and unarmed city. How do you expect to be honored if you destroy a city that has no weapons?”

“I grow weary of asking this same question, and therefore this will be the last time,” Tarkinn Jarl of Stórmof said, “Where is the island on which those who stand against Falfadinn assemble?”

“On Dantúíney,” said Leia, “They are on Dantúíney in the Shetlands.”

“That was easy, Veidr,” said Tarkinn, “She talked even without torture. Send the men ashore.”

“What?” said Princess Leia.

“You are far too trusting, Princess Leia,” said Tarkinn, “Which is the custom of people from Aldiranborg. Dantúíney is too little-known and too far from the cities that we want to intimidate. But we will lead our vikings there soon.”

Their meeting concluded then, and after a short while such a huge army went ashore that no man could remember having ever seen the like, and there was such a great din of weapons clashing and of horses neighing and of shrill war-horns blowing that the earth itself shook, and the cliffs resounded with horrible echoes. The army proceeded into Aldiranborg, destroying and burning and doing all manner of ills, and killing men and women, cows and sheep, and they burned it to the ground so thoroughly that not a cot remained standing.

What will become of our mighty heroes? The tale is long and I tire in the retelling, but the literate among you may continue at http://tattuinardoelasaga.wordpress.com/2010/12/17/chapter-29/ where you will find "Chapter 29: Concerning the Arrival of the Falcon at the Death-Star."

Good Jul to all, /tg/.

>>17352858
SURELY ODIN HAS SMILED UPON YOU THIS DAY

>>17352858
Thanks for sharing & posting, this is amazing.

>>17352910
>this is amazing.

What's most amazing is that it's WRITTEN IN OLD NORSE TOO, goddamn

I can't imagine the time this person must have on their hands

bump

>A man on the poop-deck heard the clash of weapons, and called out loudly, “What happened in there?”
>“Nothing,” shouted Hani, “Everything is in order. A wave arose under the ship and rocked it, and some weapons fell to the floor. Didn’t you feel that strong wave up there?”
>“I didn’t feel this wave that you mention, but I will send some men down to clear the floor,” said the soldier.
>“No,” said Hani, “This is not necessary.”
>“Who is there?” asked the soldier, and stepped down to look at Hani, “Where are you from?” But Hani leapt at him with his axe drawn, slashed his leg and killed him.
>“This conversation bored me,” said Hani.

Holy shit.

Too bad it isn't finished, this is incredible.

Sadly (for me), I didn't get what was going on until Lukr. DERRRP.

Magnificent find, Jarl Opi!

>>17352987
BAD norse.

Holy monkey butts, this is awesome.

I can approve of this.

Have a song about Ormrinn Langi http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bts_v9mqv3g&feature=related