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  • File : 1324615201.jpg-(87 KB, 600x450, 1321818751973.jpg)
    87 KB That Guy thread, with Fresh OC Anonymous 12/22/11(Thu)23:40 No.17306554  
    Hello /tg/ I hope you like story time.
    >Join a new group after moving through mutual friends
    >Mutual friends, 2 guys, a girl and THAT GUY
    >That Guy is about 300 pounds, fedora, trench coat,combat boots and aviator sunglasses
    >With long greasy unwashed hair(I could smell it across the table
    >And a constant sheen of sweat
    >That Guy is new too, being in almost the same situation as me
    >Pre-game talk while the DM sets up, everyone had made characters before hand
    >Hitting it off with girl, shes related to mutual friend and pretty cool
    >That Guy keeps butting in trying to make funny jokes and other shit
    >After talking about my old group where we played a group of monster hunters, that guy chimes in
    >"PFFTTT, my last game we were the monsters and we became the night itself, terrorizing the world and slaying virginities!"
    >Game begins, we all just got off the boat at the capital city of one of two empires
    >After half an hour of setting the scene, DM throws an encounter at us
    >6 thugs that are obviously starving/diseased
    >We manage to defeat all of them except for one who flees
    >Me playing a LG Knight chases after him to try and turn him into the law
    >That Guy chases after him too
    >> Anonymous 12/22/11(Thu)23:40 No.17306564
    >We corner the guy and I start to say something along the lines of "Stop right there criminal scum!"
    >That Guy, playing a variant wizard catches up
    >Before I can finish he says:
    >"I cast Blood Thrall!
    >That Guy whips out a GIANT FUCKING COMBAT KNIFE and slices his palm, letting blood drip down into a bowl
    >Game goes on, I guess the spell turned the guy into a slave
    >Later everyones taking a break to smoke,eat etc
    >Me and girl are talking, Mutual friend is on the phone with someone
    >that Guy comes up
    >"Pretty good role-playing, huh?"
    >"Uh... Yeah, sure."
    >In my other game we had a stripper priestess
    >Girl goes "Ew"
    >"Oh no, it was very tasteful, every time she cast a spell she would slowly strip until by the end of the game she was naked and shivering
    >""And then we would have our way with her, whether she liked it or not."
    >Me "That's fucked up man"
    >That Guy reaches in and tries to bring girl closer to him, grabbing her ass and neck and trying to kiss her
    >She screams for mutual friend
    >Mutual friend turns and sees this, drops phone and punches That Guy in the nose
    >That Guy whips out his knife
    >I kick him in the balls
    >He drops knife and starts to run away
    >Jumps through an open window
    >Door was ten feet away
    >Some people
    >> Anonymous 12/22/11(Thu)23:42 No.17306577
         File1324615366.png-(106 KB, 740x773, Celestia_disgusted.png)
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    These people exist?
    >> Anonymous 12/22/11(Thu)23:43 No.17306584
    jesus h christ
    >> Anonymous 12/22/11(Thu)23:44 No.17306594
    >Jumps through an open window
    >Door was ten feet away
    >Some people
    I laughed harder than I should have.
    >> The Mimeoplasm !!my4nZk2dPV+ 12/22/11(Thu)23:45 No.17306605
    Cool story bro. 8/10 on presentation. I give it an A.
    >> Anonymous 12/22/11(Thu)23:45 No.17306607

    Of course not. OP is obviously full of shit.

    My worst experience with a 'That Guy' was a dude who was so racist we couldn't let him keep playing in the LGS (I started getting bad vibes when he said his character was called 'Piet Pretorius'). His roleplay was awesome, so was his imitation of a South African (Rhodesian?) accent, but there's only so many racial slurs one group can take, even if its an nWoD game.

    Cool guy.
    >> Anonymous 12/22/11(Thu)23:46 No.17306611
    Sounds legit.
    >> Anonymous 12/22/11(Thu)23:46 No.17306616
    >That Guy is about 300 pounds, fedora, trench coat,combat boots and aviator sunglasses
    >"Oh no, it was very tasteful, every time she cast a spell she would slowly strip until by the end of the game she was naked and shivering
    >That Guy reaches in and tries to bring girl closer to him, grabbing her ass and neck and trying to kiss her
    There's no way you're not making this up. Things simply don't come together like that.
    >> Anonymous 12/22/11(Thu)23:47 No.17306622
    You know what?

    I believe every goddamn word.

    Somebody has to. And people like this exist.
    >> Anonymous 12/22/11(Thu)23:47 No.17306623
    >>That Guy whips out a GIANT FUCKING COMBAT KNIFE and slices his palm, letting blood drip down into a bowl
    >>That Guy whips out his knife

    Wait, he cut his hand IRL? And you didn't fucking punch him then? This is on you OP.
    >> the thgesto 12/22/11(Thu)23:48 No.17306630
    >> Anonymous 12/22/11(Thu)23:48 No.17306635
    Honestly I would have believed you were it not for the way he made a move on the girl. You should have toned it down and just had him grab her ass and awkwardly flirt with her.
    >> Anonymous 12/22/11(Thu)23:48 No.17306636

    They honestly don't. There isn't a person alive who would do that. Not on the first night anyway. Finding out someone is nuttier than a squirrel shit takes time and dialogue.
    >> Anonymous 12/22/11(Thu)23:49 No.17306644
    Op here, it did happen. I've had run-ins with That Guys before, but I guess That Guy was "Sheltered" in that he only hung out with people that would reinforce actions like that. When he moved he had to actually ask at a LGS if there were any games going on and the DM was there and invited him.
    >> the thgesto 12/22/11(Thu)23:51 No.17306668
         File1324615894.png-(153 KB, 992x1880, 1324314956780.png)
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    So... About that That guy thread...
    >> Anonymous 12/22/11(Thu)23:51 No.17306670
    >hung out with people that would reinforce actions like that.

    >"That Guy whips out a GIANT FUCKING COMBAT KNIFE and slices his palm, letting blood drip down into a bowl"

    That's not sheltering. That's a cult
    >> Anonymous 12/22/11(Thu)23:52 No.17306673
    Believe it or not, I was reluctant to punch somebody holding a knife.

    And I think the reason he tried that was because his previous group, stuff like that was normal.
    >> Anonymous 12/22/11(Thu)23:53 No.17306687
    Would YOU punch a guy who had a knife and had just cut himself with it?

    It's like they learned how to play D&D from Chick Tracts, some people.
    >> Anonymous 12/22/11(Thu)23:53 No.17306688
    mental ilness is more common than you might believe, 1 in 5 people suffer from depression in their lives (proper biochemical depression, not just being sad for a time).
    THAT GUY may have been having an especially bad day of crazy
    >> Anonymous 12/22/11(Thu)23:58 No.17306731
         File1324616284.jpg-(58 KB, 400x314, fuckpanda.jpg)
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    Sorry, you lost me at "cutting his own hand."

    Actual That Guy story:

    >Playing Pathfinder at local game store, between groups
    >Roll up elf thief, CG
    >Other players include dwarf paladin, tiefling wizard, and dwarf cleric
    >Ready to play
    >"Hold on, we're waiting for my friend to show up."
    >Wait half an hour, getting bored, DM won't budge or let us start without the guy
    >Eventually in walks this land-whale, has to be around 280 or something, wearing cargo pants with marinara stains and a sporting a bloatee
    >I can see the grease on his glasses from like ten feet away, thick like vaseline
    >Immediately settles down like he owns the table, takes a swig from a bottle of soda, and belches
    >"Awright, I'm playing a human barbarian, and I'm going to be party leader, and if you don't like it you can walk."
    >Considering walking, but wanted to see where this goes
    >Endure about an hour of gay jokes ("Hurr hurr you're an elf, you should know what it's like to take it up the ass"), him ordering our party around like his own personal servants, hoarding the best items, and flat-out lying to us about stupid shit.
    >DM encouraging it, lets it slip these two have been gaming together for a while, starts telling us great stories of this guy's barbarian and how we should be honored to play with a "veteran."
    >Everybody else taking it. Am I going to? FUCK NO.
    >"Alright, I'm out. Fuck you and your game."
    >Slam book closed, toss away character sheet, leave
    >Haven't returned to store since

    Not exactly the most interesting story, but damn, it boils my blood just remembering it.
    >> Anonymous 12/22/11(Thu)23:58 No.17306732
    I don't believe it. You broke my suspension of disbelief.
    >> the thgesto 12/23/11(Fri)00:00 No.17306753
         File1324616450.png-(226 KB, 1440x900, Screenshot at 2011-12-22 22:53(...).png)
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    Also, in case anybody wants it.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:01 No.17306760
    That sounds more like a problem with humans chemical systems.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:06 No.17306804
    If you could prove that, you would be the best psychiatrist EVER.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:07 No.17306809
    Glorious, if true.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:07 No.17306814
    Who cares if you believe or not? /tg/ is story time
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:11 No.17306850
    Its always sad when these go to shit because of sadtastic story telling
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:12 No.17306854
    Did he cut himself IC or shit he just slice his hand up for real?
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:15 No.17306882
    He cut it for real. It wasn't a deep cut I guess, just enough to dribble a few drops into the bowl. But it was enough to freak me out.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:15 No.17306890
    Did he call people munts and said shit like "my china" all the time?
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:19 No.17306918
    I'm fairly certain this is the point at which I would have had him exit the house. I mean shit, I've kicked people out of my house for less.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:22 No.17306933
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    >My worst experience with a 'That Guy' was a dude who was so racist we couldn't let him keep playing in the LGS
    Ok... what did he do?

    >(I started getting bad vibes when he said his character was called 'Piet Pretorius').
    You sound like the bigot in the room here.

    >but there's only so many racial slurs one group can take, even if its an nWoD game.
    How old are the players in this group? If it contributes to the character and the game, it's good.

    People really should be less PC and sensitive about this shit.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:22 No.17306936

    I knew a dude who did the same thing but he was playing a bloodspeaker in L5R.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:22 No.17306938
    Dude that shit's messed up.

    I almost wish I was there, I always miss out of people acting like this and really wish I was there when people tell me about shit like this.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:23 No.17306943
         File1324617805.png-(19 KB, 679x427, 1324487853013.png)
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    I don't care if it's true or not
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:25 No.17306968
    These shitty greentext stories really need to stay on /v/
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:27 No.17306984
    Saying greentext stories belong on /v/ is like saying quest threads belong on /v/. We get it. Some people don't like them. Nevertheless they've been here a while and they're not going anywhere just because you don't like them.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:30 No.17307015
    let me tell you about my that guy. And his comuppance.
    >The DM was a guy who we will call "Bro", mainly because he is my brother. He was not used to DMing, but he had a good heart, and was determined to make the campaign awesome
    >We had a female player who we will call "Punk". She was tall and covered in tattoos and piercings. A bit of a bitch, but a great roleplayer who didn't bring personal feuds IC.
    >A scrawny guy who we will call "Psycho". He was shy, didn't talk much, and always had a dumb smile on his face. Average rollplayer, was occasionally meta, but would immediately straighten up if called out on it. Also, batshit insane.
    >And a short, slightly chubby guy we will call "That Guy". He was an arrogant power gamer. Surprisingly good roleplayer who never broke character. The problem was what he did out of character.
    >We would meet at the local game shop, or sometimes at Punks apartment.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:31 No.17307019
    I laughed hard at the "I turn into a moped. Beep beep!" part.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:37 No.17307070

    Okay, shoot me for not wanting to play nWoD with a guy who says 'kaffir' every two seconds. The character was basically a mouthpiece for the player's mental neo-colonial attitudes. Funny guy, and all, but holy shit, the owner got buttpained.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:38 No.17307082
    I don't even know what a kaffir even is.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:39 No.17307088

    Its like the boss of all racial slurs. Kind of like 'nigger' if nigger still meant something.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:39 No.17307091
    I think it's like saying "slave nigger".
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:41 No.17307102
    european slur for black africans.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:41 No.17307103
    Not that I heard. Mostly he talked about how awesome his old group was and trying to make the girl laugh(Very awkwardly).

    If it had been my house, I would have but it was the DM and his brothers so I had no say in the matter. Afterwards, my mutual friend and the girl agreed to just not play there anymore. And like I said, I've run into That Guys before.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:41 No.17307104
    Huh. You learn something new everyday.

    I did not expect that today's something would be a racial slur.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:41 No.17307107
    That guy thread okay then

    >DMing a WoD sci fi campaign
    >making up sci fi world as we go so I ask players to bear with me
    >Everyone having a good time
    >That guy or TG wants to make race of space rats
    >Okay, good concept
    >TG makes it a point that they are all communist anarchists that are so much better than everyone else
    >TG-yeah I've seen those ships you drew and pointed out, they are stupidly designed, my race's ships are way better and our race is so much cooler and blah blah blah...
    >okay.jpeg begin to ignore
    >campaign going on, will not stop talking about how much cooler his character is from the others
    >draws several pages on character including sketches of his character naked
    >tries to show to everyone
    >no one paying attention
    >tries to constantly meta game in character by asking if he can build ridiculous shit that nerfs everyone else
    >TG starts freaking out and getting upset
    >starts complaining that everyone is ganging up on him and that I am being unfair
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:41 No.17307113
    Isn't it only used in South Africa? Like one of those old Apartheid things?
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:43 No.17307123
    You think that until you meet somebody and realize, "holy shit, they're not joking, I don't feel safe anymore, how did this happen so fast?"
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:44 No.17307141

    Hence the name 'Piet Pretorius'.

    Imagine the most jingoistic apartheid-era policeman ever, and then make him a vampire.

    That's what I was dealing with.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:44 No.17307144
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:47 No.17307165
    >Now, all throughout the campaign, That Guy kept making cracks at everybody.
    >He also would mock other players roleplaying, downplayed others achievements and played up his achievements like he was the second coming, then bragged about them later. He would also never let anybody live a failed roll down.
    >Now, after a bit of this, Punk told him she was going to kick his ass if he kept this up. So, he pretty much started to mellow out a bit on the douchebaggery, only using about an ounce of it per session.
    >One day, Punk stepped out for a smoke, and ThatGuy activated douchebag-mode in full force. He was trying to curry up favor with Bro, and since i was Bro's, Bro, that left Psycho.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:50 No.17307185
    >eventually makes a new character and talks to me about it before
    >TG wants to make an original race again
    >Okay lets try this again
    >presents a race of and I quote "magical space dragons"
    >wants his character to carry around a sword made of hull plating that can block lasers and have magical healing and force powers
    >he thought this was better than his scientist/pilot/mechanic/gunfighter/communist/anarchist
    >fuck no
    >rages goes back to playing space rat
    >keeps insisting that in HIS cannon his character is famous throughout the galaxy
    >He keeps acting offended out of character that I don't make NPCs recognized him and worship his awesome piloting skills
    >get into space fight
    >tries to call his species armada
    >insists that they would help him
    >I say a ship shows up and helps them fight to shut him up
    >he gets offended that his species didn't mop the floor with the enemy ship
    >starts explaining again how the enemy ship design I made is stupid and how his ship is infinitely better and more structurally sound
    >I explain that I didn't put too much thought into the ship and wanted it to just look cool
    >starts laughing at me and repeats his point
    >other players stop RPing and are just staring at him with the generic WTF expression
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:52 No.17307206
    Oh yeah, that's actually outlawed in Namibia.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:57 No.17307244
    Remember: "If you can't be a good example then you'll just have to be a horrible warning."
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)00:57 No.17307246

    I'm the guy writing this story >>17307107
    and I want to see how it goes, this guy sounds kind of like the one I'm currently dealing with
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)01:17 No.17307457
    (Forgot to mention we were playing Exalted, that guy was a Dragonblooded)
    >So he kept insulting Psycho, calling him an idiot, and i swear to god he kept saying "Amirite gais?" Just like that after every few insults. We just rolled our eyes.
    >We should have noticed when psychos usually dumb grin was off that day, but we didn't. But that guy did.
    >He went on with the generic "Aw, you gonna cry?" Insults, till finally bro asked him to stop. At that point, i noticed that Psychos oddly out of character frown had turned into a calculated glare.
    >Now, a few sessions later, we had all but forgotten about it, and we were having a session at Punks apartment, due to shop being closed for Labor Day. He gave Punk an envelope before hand, and told her to open it when he said when.
    >Now, all throughout the last sessions, Psycho kept spending his experience raising his crafting, specifically craft Genesis, managed to convince that guys character to let him use his manses basement as a workshop and he was also investigating an NPC
    >An NPC that happened to be ThatGuys characters wife, as well as a breeding five dragonblooded.
    >Now, That Guy decided to take preemptive action, and kept building up his Craft Genesis, so he could kill Psychos character should need arise without any backlash. I'd like to make a note here that we had never seen Psychos character sheet, nor see him use any charms.
    >Psycho took the DM aside, and talked to him about something. We heard the sound of rolling dice, and the DM came in looking slightly shocked.
    >Nobody really thought much of it, then we finally got to the ball we had been building up to the whole campaign, held inside Thatguys Manse.
    >And thats when it all came to light.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)01:18 No.17307467
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)01:22 No.17307507
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    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)01:23 No.17307513
    I have to get up in the morning.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)01:24 No.17307519

    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)01:25 No.17307531
    >> TheVoiceofReason-ish 12/23/11(Fri)01:26 No.17307539
    I'm sorry, but that made me laugh a little too hard
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)01:29 No.17307557
    >That Guys wife had been craft-genesisd to the point were she was just recognizable. It appeared her ribcage had exploded out of her chest, and her legs were halfway fused into a tail, and her arm had been removed for some reason. just to name a few things.
    >The partygoers, who included the new Scarlet Empress, knew he had been studying crafting new life.
    >He managed to escape into the deepest recesses of his manse, where he found, guess who, Psychos character, next to a big tank filled with a newborn eldritch abomination inside. An Eldritch abomination that, as Psychos character proudly explained, was made with pedigree Dragonblooded cells.
    >Thatguys character connected the dots.
    >Short conversation, in which Psycho's character proudly explained the process of getting cells from her arm, and that when he didn't need her anymore he tried to turn her into something more beautiful as thanks, but he got distracted halfway through, so he decided to leave her there as the main course, claiming that she was "delicious" at least. "After all, what do you think was in the dinner i made you last night?
    >ThatGuy actually looking pissed IRL
    >ThatGuy limit breaks and rushes Psycho's character with a sword.
    >That's when we Psycho's character pulled out a fiery solar cannon and blew him away.
    >Psycho told Punk to open the envelope.
    >Inside, was a copy of Psychos character sheet, revealing him to be a Twilight Caste solar, and a crude crayon drawing.
    >A crude crayon drawing of a smiling yellow man killing an angry red man with a Firey Solar Cannon, with what appeared to be an eldritch abomination in the background
    >That Guy stopped with the insults.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)01:32 No.17307581

    Glory be :3
    >> TheVoiceofReason-ish 12/23/11(Fri)01:33 No.17307585
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    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)01:33 No.17307587
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    >> Lithdoran !atZ30XyAZ. 12/23/11(Fri)01:34 No.17307594
    >SO FULL OF WIN.jpg
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)01:34 No.17307595
    I like it when the Psychos of this world finally taste sweet justice.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)01:36 No.17307614
    Now we just need >>17307246 to finish
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)01:38 No.17307627
    >A crude crayon drawing
    Oh wow I lost it there.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)01:38 No.17307629
    >Mutual friend makes a 4th edition campaign
    >Asks me to join, Figure I will be a bro and join in.
    >Group ends up being about 6 people big
    >Half orc ranger ends up playing his character as the epitome of lawful stupid and pretty much tries to railroad everyone into talking about him
    >Everyone else has decent characters, figure I will be a dick and make a drow who wets himself when ever he see's a female due to beatings from female overlords.
    >DM calls me a tool, take it as approval.
    >Most people are pretty new, ended up revising on almost all of the handbooks repeatedly that week to make sure I was good
    >Quiet girl joined in as a pixie bard, she said she wanted to heal and help out.
    >That guy starts getting pissed off, shouting that he demands her to be a bigger tougher race.
    >Tell him to fuck off, calls me a faggot for making a forest loving elf.
    >Shitty half orc spends the entire time saying "I hope all of you can keep up with me, I'm pretty good at this"
    >I swear to god every time he ends up spending atleast 5 minutes to make an attack roll for my basic melee attack.
    >My turn motherfucking finally.
    >Say I put a shroud on the enemy and use a basic attack. Didn't wanna finish it too quickly for the new people
    >THAT GUY starts throwing a tantrum
    >DM tells him it's a melee basic attack and if he doesn't know he is an idiot.
    >Guy keeps whining untill my attack becomes void, fan-fucking-tastic.
    >Idiot spends the next few turns using ranged basic attacks, threw a tantrum until he could have 30 range on every ranged attack.
    >Every time he fails a roll, he whines saying that everyone else is overpowered and that he wants a higher attack rating from the DM. My lip is almost bleeding from biting it at this point.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)01:39 No.17307636

    >4 turns of shroud stacking finally pay off, activate and use my daily on the big bad of the map. Deal almost a 3rd of his health.
    >That guy screams, saying he demands that the DM remove my ability to use shrouds or else.
    >Finish the encounter without my shrouds, DM removed them for the fight to stop him from whining.
    >Pretty fucking annoying.
    >Game is done, we both talk the session and DMing, we look at all the character sheets.
    >That guy scribbled additional hit modifiers onto his character after the encounter was finished.

    Did I forget to mention he did the whole "YOU DIDN'T SPECIFY WHAT IT AIMS" Bullshit to the wizard as well. The WIZARD
    >> Matt !o504RVa/WI 12/23/11(Fri)01:41 No.17307660
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    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)01:42 No.17307664
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    Fucking awesome. Also, pic is how I can't help but imagine Psycho's character. Probably not at all accurate, but there it is.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)01:43 No.17307674
    Yeah.... remove that guy....
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)01:47 No.17307702

    >5 rounds to set up a single combo

    >it does 1/3 of the bad guy's HP

    This is considered an accomplishment? If an entire encounter lasts more than 5 rounds I'd be concerned.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)01:47 No.17307704
    Play another striker class and stab him in the back mid-combat. You can probably deal enough damage to take out another striker if you play one yourself.

    Probably counter-intuitive to having a good team-oriented group OoC, but hey it gives an internal consistency for why there's suddenly one character less in the party and all you have to do is tell him to fuck off and never roll a new character.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)01:47 No.17307710
    I tried making my own campaign, he somehow came despite the fact that my hate for him was kinda obvious after that day. He made his character a fighter with a 1 handed sword, no shield and demanded he was the leader because he was the cities guard.

    The reason he was a guard? [spoiler] He took an arrow to the knee [/spoiler] Not even fucking kidding, that was his reasoning. Got kicked after the first session
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)01:49 No.17307714
    I've never understood how you guys can keep quiet during shit like this.

    I'm not even all that aggressive, but anytime someone starts trying bullshit like in this thread I just get up and leave.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)01:49 No.17307715
    We had a marauder ranger, enough said. Half of the team was dicking around, atleast the bard did her job well.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)01:49 No.17307716
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    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)01:51 No.17307728
    Seriously, you're getting pissed at 'kaffir'? Most people don't even know what the fuck kaffir means. And if you really couldn't take it, why didn't you just ask him to stop?
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)01:55 No.17307757
    Well, sounds like he's from South Africa, where he WOULD know what it means.

    And it'd be like if you're sitting in your LGS and keep hearing some random guy keep saying 'Nigger' over and over.

    (Sidenote: Still doesn't make it any less hilarious that my friend in my 3.5 game referred to Tauren in Warcraft as 'Beefniggers'.)
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)01:55 No.17307758
    Am I the first one to notice that he has a hole in his penis, and that's where the jizz is coming out of, instead of his urethra?
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)01:56 No.17307764
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)02:02 No.17307800
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    somewhat different, but that guy exists in warhammer 40k too
    >got my at the time meager space wolves army, backed up with dark angels, little fluffy duel between champions and everything
    >that guy playing dark eldar, last codex, sizeable force
    >we start unloading into his warriors, he claims an unfailable cover save from some bullshit rules, we say ok
    >flamer his warriors, no cover save, wipe them out
    >he comes in with wytches, insisting he can have over 9000 attacks from combat drugs.
    >FUCK NO
    >insist he rolls his drug tests first, he refuses, we say he can't have attacks then, he rages, game continues
    >we lose obviously, he tries to claim all the models marked as captured for himself, for keeps,
    >again, FUCK NO
    >call him out on it, whole store turns on him, never seen him play in the store since
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)02:04 No.17307818
    > go to GW store on friday night to play Gorka Morka
    > friday night is Gorka Morka night
    > THAT guy is the store manager
    > playing Gorka Morka one game me vs cool employee other game my two friends against each other
    > THAT GUY manager 'you can't just hang out here and play games you have to buy something'
    > wut? we bought these gangs. we bought these rules. then we painted them and now we're playing a game at the store on that game's deisgnated 'game night'
    > store is empty except us
    > we all quit games workshop like a couple of months later
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)02:05 No.17307833
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    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)02:09 No.17307855

    fukkin saved
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)02:11 No.17307876
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    Excuse me... he tried to claim your models, like to take and put in his box and leave with? Jesus christ. I know people like this exist, but seriously?
    >> Robert the Reporter 12/23/11(Fri)02:11 No.17307884

    I almost pissed my pants and my stomach hurt from laughing too hard.

    >Beep beep
    >> GLORIUS 12/23/11(Fri)02:16 No.17307921
    (From >>17307557)
    Hm... Glorius... That has a nice ring to it... in fact...

    So um... I think this thread might be archive worthy. all in agreement?
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)02:19 No.17307951
    you kids need to look at some cocks, not all of them are pretty.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)02:20 No.17307960
    yes, he did, at this point me and my backup had been playing maybe two weeks, meaning a total of about 3 hours playing for me, he has since decided to take up residence as the GM for dark heresy in the area. and by his rule, all space marines have lower stats than guardsman conscripts, and his dark eldar rule most of the galaxy
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)02:23 No.17307980
    just find a non-gw store, or grow a D'anjou and play there like the man you claim to be.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)02:29 No.17308027
    someone needs to hire this man a hooker, his virginal obsession is beginning to affect the lives of innocent people negatively.

    also you need to learn to game like a Mexican: always pack blow for your bros, booze for your rivals and lead for whomever asks for trouble. replace the later whit steel as appropriate.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)02:31 No.17308044
    watched him get utterly tabled by blood angels armoured list at one point, a Baal predator does nasty things to deldar
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)02:31 No.17308046
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    >why hasn't this been posted
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)02:34 No.17308074
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    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)02:42 No.17308152
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    I don't have any witty ending to this story.
    The deathwatch campaign i currently play in got a new player as of 2 or 3 weeks ago. He had played in a previous campaign with the group i'm in.

    Imagine an overall skinny guy with a beer gut and a huge beard, obscuring most of his face.

    first 5 minutes of him playing and he's whining that he can't play HIS apothecary even though he hasn't taken the time to update his old stats, all our characters are cut off and on their own behind enemy lines with no reinforcements, and he's been given another player's apothecary to hold him over for the time being. He keeps on whining. GM jokingly has us roll perception to notice an apothecary shaped meteor splatting messily into the ground nearby. Guy starts freaking out thinking the GM is being serious and killed off his character. Starts exclaiming that my assault marine could have tried to catch him midflight or some bullshit. Takes forever to reassure him that his character hasn't been killed off.

    over the past 3 games:

    Spends pretty much all his time whining about bad rolls, good rolls, whining about advantages he gets, whining about advantages he's not getting, whining about stuff we get, whining how this apothecary sucks, criticizing every decision any of us makes, intentionally invoking friendly fire incidents "because he doesn't care anymore," and sulking while he lies on the couch 30 ft away from the table, occasionally rolling the dice on the floor next to him, while he whines and whines and whines.

    We've taken to calling him negative nancy. I've avoided doing anything to his character directly since its technically just a loaner belonging to an absent player until his real character can get intro'd. But i also don't want to do anything to alienate the other people since i'm technically the new guy here, even if that guy is being dreadfully annoying. Seriously, most petulant 30 year old i've ever met.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)02:43 No.17308169
    Oh my god why haven't I seen this before, and where is the second one?
    This is amazing.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)02:50 No.17308256
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    you're still a fag for not shanking him while he tried to rob you. or maybe the fact my LFGS is in the middle of MS13 territory DID manage to turn the gaming club into a regular street gang...nah, u a fag.

    pic related, me and my DH group, yours truly chilling in the back whit a brand spanking nose brace. no more fucking around while the DM sets the mood. silly fag on front is the late Paco Pistolas, our "that guy" up to last may, we miss you bro.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)02:51 No.17308268
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    >That guy rolls psyker in futuristic game made by local developer
    >Somehow escapes death multiple times. Mainly because he throws tantrums and our DM was a super-nice guy.
    >Our characters die a lot, we accept it. It's a hard game.
    >Soon, he has a myriad of psychic powers and super-high stats. We don't.
    >New DM. Cool as a person, total dick as a DM.
    >Intentionally makes shit super-hard. That Guy still invincible.
    >Every time he pulls the "Lol I rape the mayor," and we try and intervene, he kills us in-game.
    >Finally, we fight mutants, and That Guy and a new guy fall unconscious in a burning building.
    >That Guy's body closer to door.
    >We save new guy.
    >Tantrum. Dickhead DM gives zero fucks.
    >Eventually dickhead DM makes him an offer.
    >"You can have your character back, but all his stats are set to 2(Lowest possible in this system), and he loses all psychic powers."
    >double-mfw he accepts
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)03:03 No.17308368
    >that feel when the first few lines make you think it's your character
    >and then that other feel when you realize you have maybe one too many quirks, but are nowhere near That Guy being described

    I'm a bit of a munchkin, get stage-fright when trying to do even a little table-acting
    >"Why are you squinting? Do you have something in your eye"
    >No, my character has one eye and I'm making myself look like a retard to try and get in character so I don't feel like a retard
    >"Oh.... well, stop it"
    am a lawful neutral rules lawyer, and enjoy rambling debates so I have my moments at the table; I'm sure my friends could regale you with every last foolish thing I've said or done

    >metal detector goes off in a hard-gore vamp club
    >"I show those blood brothers my marshal's badge casual-like and ask if there's a problem"
    GM: "You what?!"
    >"uh... remember that I took common sense, does it kick in?"
    GM: "No shit, yeah"

    I'm really not very good at reading situations.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)03:03 No.17308369
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    >Only actual space marine in the party, everyone else is Sisters of Battle, using rules and stats of space marines
    >Play an Ultramarine and just try to play things by the book and be an honest, loyal imperial soldier
    >All the sisters are horrible, get in fights, sleep around, go against protocol, disobey orders, etc... ALL THE TIME
    >I'm always left holding the bag, having to explain to Imperial command, Inquisitors, and even fucking Eldar Farseers
    >It's been so long and so much, pretty much given up, just go with
    >"Girls will be girls." or "Well, it worked didn't it?"
    >Despite everything, they can't really argue because we pretty much always end up victorious

    I feel like a babysitter, and just try and keep a cool head. And because of it, I'M called and referred to as the THAT GUY of the group.

    Remind me not to play in all-girl groups anymore.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)03:08 No.17308413
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    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)03:09 No.17308426
    try deathwatch with: skyclaw, who has decided he wants a bike and a jump pack, a rune priest turned wolf priest, a black Templar techmarine WITHOUT the use of a servo arm
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)03:09 No.17308431

    Well, you may not be THAT GUY but you are y'know...that guy.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)03:11 No.17308447
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    >Remind me not to play in all-girl groups anymore.
    >all-girl groups
    >sleep around
    >go against protocol
    >disobey orders
    >Sisters of Battle
    >I'M called and referred to as the THAT GUY of the group.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)03:13 No.17308457

    I will say, that in playing with my current group, I am enlightened to the latent humor of the 40k universe.

    Maybe it's just me, but there's something humorous about a straight-cut Ultrasmurf pulled in multiple directions trying to keep a lid on his girls, glazing most of it over with a facepalm and a sigh. His girls I mention, because on at least more than one occasion my pleading to keep things "acceptable" has been met with "Alright, DAD!"
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)03:16 No.17308479

    Anyone got that picture of the Pimp Ultramarine?

    I just think that should be your destination for this. Gradually over time end up as their pimp.

    It will be a glorious disaster
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)03:17 No.17308491
    The obvious solution is to take things in a full 360 and moonwalk out of there. They think you're that guy? No, they haven't seen that guy. But you know that guy, and you're going to become what they want. You're going to go full fucking retard and abandon them to their own self destructive devices. Have your space marine fall to chaos the next time they get themselves in trouble.
    >>   12/23/11(Fri)03:17 No.17308494
    Whelp, guess its a That Guy thread

    >Deathwatch campaign
    >Go pretty much the support Devastator Marine, with high BS so I can clear mobs with Heavy Bolter
    >That guy is in the campaign
    >Weedy little kid, orange hair, fucking annoying type of player
    >That guy goes Libarian, he's the type that likes to go spell casters
    >Gm has investigating derelict spaceship
    >Invested with Chaos, bump into Bloodthirster
    >Horde of Cultists coming down southern corridor
    >Hold of the cultists while the rest of the party fights the Bloodthirster
    >That guy gets POTW attack, switches bodies with the Assault Marine
    >Assault Marine flips the fuck out, cuts out tongue of psyker's body, and attempts to disembowel himself
    >Switches back before he can finish
    >That guy flips the fuck out that the Assault Marine just tried to kill him, turns on party
    >Casts smite on the Assault Marine
    >POTW attack
    >Transforms into Daemon Host
    >He and Bloodthirster slaughters rest of party
    >I finish with Cultists, turn around and see this ship happening
    >Whip out Power sword, rush the fucking Libarian
    >Righteous Fury, Roll 5 tens
    >Effectively decapitate That Guys character
    >That guy flips the shit and storms out
    >Lol as the Bloodthirster slaughters my character

    Was good night after all
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)03:21 No.17308534
    > "Alright, DAD!"

    Like... literally? Did they actually say that word for word?
    >>   12/23/11(Fri)03:23 No.17308550

    I seriously hope not
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)03:23 No.17308554
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    >360 degrees
    >walk out
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)03:25 No.17308568
    You do know what a moonwalk is right?
    If not you need to watch some MJ.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)03:25 No.17308571
    next time, cry chaos, get killed don't re-roll simple way to deal with it
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)03:25 No.17308573

    Yes, actually literally. Out of character that is. Or maybe it was in, it seemed out, but there's no way of knowing without clarification right?


    Similar to my own reaction, however it is the only regular playing group around here. Still not sure if that is worth it.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)03:26 No.17308576
    There's gotta be a drawfag that can make something of this. Crazy-ass band of SoBs in the foreground doing God-Emperor knows what (groin-kicking inquistors, seducing commissars, drinking all the amasec, swinging around their breastplates), Ultramarine standing in the background facepalming.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)03:28 No.17308601
    you mentally challanged person
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)03:32 No.17308633
    >notice everyone picking on the first part
    >squint at it
    >360 degrees
    >moonwalk out

    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)03:33 No.17308644

    Trying to come up with an explanation to an Inquisitor, Eldar Farseer, and Tech priest.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)03:37 No.17308673
    I feel for you man. I was in a GURPS game where I played a School Teacher who after a 'Hangover' style situation woke up on a plane to somewhere in the Middle East with a bunch of gruff looking fellows (other players) and a contract pinned to his shirt saying he'd signed on to wipeout a terrorist group.

    Almost the entire time running around I actually felt like I was assisting with taking care of kindergarten kids. I was the only one in the group with social or work skills so I ended up being face, writing checks, taking care of the money, renting rooms, talking them out of bar fights, getting them out of jail, ect. After succeeding in our mission we were flown home, forced to sign documents promising not to talk and paid $30,000.

    After saying my good-byes and trying to get the fuck out of there I ended up going out for one round at a nearby pub as a thank you for taking care of them. Woke up with a hangover, no memory of what had happen the night before and on a plane to China with another contact pinned to my shirt.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)03:37 No.17308676
    i have to say, i find the idea of a lone ultramarine trying to keep a gaggle of unruly sisters in check not only hilarious but fun and compelling in its own way.

    I can just imagine the ultra marine sitting in his favorite chair reading the newspaper while 1 of the sisters rushes down stairs in repentia attire (or lack there of)

    sister- bye i'm going to kill the heretics
    marine- what? not looking like that you won't
    sister- oh come oooonnnn
    marine- NO! If you live under my command you will respect the rules of the codex, now put some armor on.
    sister-uuuugghhhh i hate you! *marches back upstairs*
    marine- *tries to go back to reading the paper, adjusting his glasses, but is interrupted by screaming from down the hall.
    Marine- what is it now?
    Sister2- She is hogging the bathroom all to herself!
    Sister3- AM NOT
    Sister2- ARE TOO!
    Marine- Ugh, what did the codex astartes say about sharing?
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)03:38 No.17308681
    "Please don't make me say it again, it was bad enough the last twelve times."
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)03:40 No.17308692
    that's too much win to be real, but if so, you are my god
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)03:42 No.17308708

    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)03:45 No.17308726

    I would like to imagine it's something like that, but it's more akin to those moving clouds you see in cartoons when two characters get in a fight, with fists and debris flying out.

    Something like that, except on a large scale, with more than just fighting taking place, and my character standing steadfast amidst. The scornful eye of the Imperium falls.

    "Uh... maybe we should..."
    "Girls I don't think..."
    "That's not written in the..."
    "I'm not sure if that would be..."
    "That's not very... you really shouldn't..."

    All the while I can't actually really do anything, because they're all violent, armed to the teeth, and in several cases better than my character at fighting.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)03:48 No.17308746
    What can I say? I've got a great DM who just rolls with what the players throw at him. I asked what the group had and we had a drug addict doctor, a sniper, a demolitions guy with dwarfism, two brothers Army of Two style and no one with skills beyond shooting stuff and drinking.

    Did it as a joke but it worked out real well. Favorite moment of the game was when the extraction team was coming in as we were pinned down by a lot of terrorist and the demo guy was down. Picked up his grenade launcher and started rolling 3's - 6's with no training and just blowing shit up left and right. Extraction team comes in and everyone is staring at me with awe in their eyes, "Um..Teacher? Where did you learn to do that?"

    "I went to public school," Adjusts tie and hands the launcher back to demo guy as he is carried past me onto the chopper.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)03:50 No.17308764
    Dark Eldar player. They used to get bonuses for 'capturing' enemy models. The bonus was victory points.

    This is kind of like playing Pokemon TCG with idiots who thought "Prizes" meant "6 random cards up for grabs".
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)03:53 No.17308780
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    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)03:58 No.17308809
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    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)04:01 No.17308827
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)04:04 No.17308851
    Yeah, that's kind of bad.
    I think the only place that would apply would be "underground Pokemon TCCG/40k.", in which one must also potentially cut off body parts if one loses.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)04:07 No.17308866
    Its actually one of my few moments in the game where my character wasn't rolling about the floor in agony due to my low HP or screaming at the other players about how they are trying to get him killed on purpose. Most of the time it really was "Teacher" answering stupid questions like "Well why can't we just shoot all the police?" and "How is this my fault? All I did was stab the prisoner a few times."

    Other awesome moments of note are our trip to a bio-weapon fascility and almost single handedly keeping the entire team from contracting god knows what, blowing up an at sea oil refinery with a critical miss, and burying an entire bus full of bodies out in the dessert cause certain team members couldn't learn that bribing a border guard and then killing him to get your money back wasn't smart the first four times.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)04:16 No.17308910
    >man expresses dissatisfaction over other players being immature and uncooperative
    >/tg/ goes nuts about harem anime
    I fucking hate this board
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)04:18 No.17308925
    Holy shit, I remember that thread. There were some pretty good stories in it, as I recall.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)04:19 No.17308933
    I want to meet your group for a game, but I know I would just cock the whole thing up royally
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)04:19 No.17308944
    not our fault that the idea is sitcom gold
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)04:19 No.17308946
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    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)04:22 No.17308959
    Guys, his character cut his hand with a hunting knife as it is a component of that spell.
    The That Guy himself pulled a knife when people objected to his grabbiness.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)04:34 No.17309039
    >>17308933 My groups pretty cocked up as is. I doubt you could cock it up any more. We've had to move over to playing over Skype and such because when you get my group together we tend to bullshit and mess around more then play. Online our DM can be a bit more of dick and we're okay with that.

    Several of our best games have been over oRPG. One Dark Heresy game lasted over a year with us playing every Friday and sometimes Saturday/Sunday. The Sequel lasted almost another whole year. The game after that changed DMs since he was burnt out but that one lasted several months and was D&D 3.5
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)04:37 No.17309071
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    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)06:15 No.17309669
    I have played a one-shot crawl that had ALMOST this exact circumstance.

    Either you are misremembering things, or I am communicating with a mirror universe version of one of my friends which is ballin.

    Difference is that it was Tyranids that were being fought, and the blow was struck with a Thunderhammer. Otherwise, exactly the same.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)06:33 No.17309751
    A nearly identical thing happened to me once. Amazingly close, actually.

    >Deathwatch campaign
    >Roll up an Assault Marine with a thunderhammer for lightning attack goodness.
    >That guy is in the campaign
    >Weedy little kid, brown/ochre hair, fucking annoying type of player
    >That guy goes Libarian, he's the type that likes to go spell casters
    >GM has us investigating a derelict spaceship
    >Three different games running simultaneously
    > Invested with Tyranids, bump into Hive Tyrant (?)
    >Run the fuck away because oh god we're gonna die
    >Get to engine room, warp portals start spawning
    >Minor daemons arrives
    >Horde of Tyranids coming down opposite corridor
    >Devastator holds off the nids while the rest of the party kills the minor daemons
    >That guy gets POTW attack, switches bodies with the Dark Templar Techpriest
    >Techpriest flips the fuck out, cuts out tongue of psyker's body, and attempts to disembowel himself
    >Switches back before he can finish
    >That guy flips the fuck out that the Techpriest just tried to kill him, turns on party
    >Casts smite on the Assault Marine, full power
    >POTW twice
    >Spell reflects, one-shotting himself
    >Summons Khornate Daemon Prince
    >That guy flips the shit and storms out
    >I am sick of this shit,
    >Whip out Thunder Hammer, Lightning attack the Daemon Prince
    >Righteous Furies everywhere
    >Effectively kill the Daemon Prince twice over with a single lightning attack before penetration is calculated.
    >Bloodthirster flees back into the warp after seeing the Daemon Prince utterly annihilated.

    At about this time, our devastator finally died, taking the hive tyrant with her in a grenade-infused frenzy, and one of the other groups successfully detonated the entire ship, killing everyone inside save for a single servo-skull that was recording our group. It's name was Nappa, the sole survivor. NEVER FORGET.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)06:39 No.17309787
    >"PFFTTT, my last game we were the monsters and we became the night itself, terrorizing the world and slaying virginities!"

    Oh god what.
    >> Servant Of The Emperor 12/23/11(Fri)06:46 No.17309829
    That DM of DH, a.k.a. The Worst One-Shot I Ever Sat Through
    >Everyone rolls character, buys equipment, loads up one guns
    >DM starts us out in a spaceport terminal in a complete clusterfuck seperated from eachother
    >we all go to get our bags and guns
    >REBEL TERRORIST NINJAS overwhelm port security in an instant, everyone is held captive
    >2-3 party members were close enough together to actually be able to talk, myself and others are entirly seperate
    >terrorist leader starts playing poker with the 1-2 players near them, played by just rolling 2d10s.
    >Still crouching out here, alone.
    >Try to talk, clubbed
    >Plead to not be beaten, threatened to be shot
    >Want to get my bag, want to go to the bathroom, want to do SOMETHING
    >3 hours have passed with FUCK ALL HAPPENING
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)06:53 No.17309877
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    The campaign setting was called ‘Birthright’, a strange departure from usual DnD in that each player was a ruler of a regency, and had the blood of a god in them that linked them to the land and gave them abilities. Whatever, I didn’t really learn much about this side of things, because, when to the second or third session I was told that as they’d already started it would be better that I instead be some sort of high ranking officer for one of the other players. I was a little disappointed but I rolled with it, and made my character; a Paladin. I don’t remember the country I was with, but it seemed to fit. Oh how I had misjudged.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)06:54 No.17309884
    I had the displeasure of the THAT GUY character over the course of the game becoming one of the most deep, tragic, and complicated characters I've ever seen, despite all the horrible details about it, which completely went against what I expected. I wish I could say or see that regularly, but no chance.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)06:54 No.17309887
    I’d already played and DM’d 2E plenty so I had a half decent grasp of the rules, but a lot was still unknown to me. So far it had only been me and a couple of friends and my brother just killing and montyhauling, which was awesome, but when I was given the opportunity to play with a large group (maybe 7 players) of twentysomethings I was so excited. Playing with adults! What’s more, many of them were actors at the local theatre. I mean sure, the DM literally was gay, but I’m not prejudiced.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)06:55 No.17309893
    I arrived at the game and met everyone. They were mostly ok, but a few stand out in my memory. The players were all regents of their various domains. First was a young guy leading playing some kind of warrior, he seemed the most normal and reasonably presented(I’ll call him ‘Mark’). He obviously knew the girl who played the regent who I was supposed to be an underling of. This girl (I’ll call her ‘Alison’) was an ugly-faced, overweight thing with large square glasses. She was unwelcoming and rude, *except* when she spoke to the young guy, (were she’d become a giggling, tittering slug). Had it not been before the days of the internet, I'd have recognised the fatal mix of THAT DM AND THAT GIRL.
    >> Servant Of The Emperor 12/23/11(Fri)06:56 No.17309899
    >Terrorists seem to be arranging bathroom breaks, and i got chosen!
    >Try to convince people with me in the bathroom to overwhelm the guard
    >am actually told 'lolnope'
    >Plan to remove mirror to make a shiv to stab the guard
    >uhhh, the guard is in the bathroom
    >So what am i supposed to do? 'just wait something'll happen i swear'
    >FFFFFFFFFF sit in a bathroom stall
    >Some time later, as in, i am watching minutes go by as i read toilet poetry (I'll assume thats what my character)
    >Clong Clong Clatter Clonk
    >Some chicks are in the airvents, 'hi.'
    >Am told to just go to leave but turn off the light
    >Do so, flick light back on after as guard was one shotted with a silenced autopistol
    >Quickly try to strip him and wear the guards clothes
    >totally not a DMPC who was some women in the terminal who just happens to have a couple of knives wants us to get in the vent again
    >Fuck that, you had me sit around for fucking hours, that guy had an autogun, i'm going to try and fake being a guard to let the airport security have their bathroom break
    >That so wont work says DM, other bathroom player agrees with me instead
    >I'm doing it
    >Uhh, well, two terrorists start toward the bathroom
    >Fuck it, kick the door, full auto. Untrained, roll single diget.
    >Roll damage, its a lot "Yeah, they're dead" I say
    >Dont you tell me if they're dead or not bluh bluh GM starts throwing a tantrum
    >All other party members have to talk against him for him to calm down and now there is 2 dead more terrorists
    >He calls the game there for now

    >Nopeing the fuck out now.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)06:57 No.17309905
    I created my character with the DM and his younger brother, who was my age. I wanted to be a paladin; a class which, in those days of 2nd ed, was rare because you had to be lucky enough to roll good enough stats to qualify at character creation. I roll the dice, and am amazed to find myself getting the scores I needed. Understandably I’m delighted; never played as one before, never got the rolls. Images of a noblebright Man-at-arms from He-Man type character are making me a giddy. However, there was a problem. It turned out, Alison wanted to be a Paladin too, and didn't want to share the limelight.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)07:01 No.17309933
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    Long story short, young shy newb is told by DM, I can’t be paladin as Alison the slug’s regent is going to be one, and ‘as Paladins are such a rarity in DnD, it would be way too improbable to have 2 in the same country’. Yes, my mind boggled at his unfairness. So, I reacted in the only way I knew how to at such a young age, in the face of elders. Passive-aggressivley. I figured if I didn’t change my character, despite saying I would, he might never check (I'd noticed he'd been a bit rules light). I got away with it because the DM didn’t seem to ever look at character sheets. I thought I was really clever for this, but as it later turned out, it wouldn’t matter, because he also didn’t read any RULES for DnD for the fucking game either.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)07:07 No.17309976
    After the first couple of sessions, the DM confirmed what I’d thought; he blagged and narrated his way through much of the session. Dice were only rolled during combat, which didn’t seem to happen very often, because it seemed to confuse the DM too much. Combats consisted of endless waves of enemies the repeatedly attacked the party, until he decided it had gone on long enough. BBEG’s would retaliate with disastrous, unblockable powers that destroyed weapons or armour without a single die roll or save. NPCs who were often high level spellcasters teleported, healed, and gimped players on hilarious whims. I was beginning to think what a load of shit, when in one interesting session that I wasn’t present at, Alison manages to capture Mark’s character. Despite being a Paladin, she describes how she has put the poor guy’s character in her dungeon, where her tortuers are working on him to serve her. Paladin’s got torturers. The DM didn’t seem to care about things like the paladin’s code, and let this continue for several sessions. I thought fuck it, this is ridiculous, I’m a Paladin; perhaps the DM would be interested in letting me rise up against my psychotic liege?
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)07:13 No.17310014
    Next session, Alison, who has never spoken more than 2 words to me, storms up to me shouting, what the fuck are you thinking, of overthrowing me? The DM told me. What’s wrong with you. I was astounded at the breach in player-DM confidentiality. I could have sexplained, where I not shitting my pants in the awkwardness of it all. No more was said about it, meanwhile Mark’s character languished still in Alison’s sex dungeon. Then the party was in a combat with some fucking trolls or some shit, and they all died. Fortunately, a wandering druid npc with no name happened to wander past and resurrect all of us, before teleporting us to his fucking hut. I am not making this shit up.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)07:16 No.17310036
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    After another session of sitting on his ass, contributing nothing to the adventure for about the 4th session in a row because his character was still in the goddam sex dungeon, Mark never came back. HE was a nice fellow, and he will probably never play a traditional game again.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)07:22 No.17310070
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    There had been about 10 people playing at the beginning of the game, but now there was only about half that. And with the only real bro gone, I knew my days were numbered with this shit. On the last session, we were exploring some sort of ruin. Full of empty goddam rooms, the whole thing. He'd downloaded a map, and down every corridoor it was the same. The room is empty. NOTHING. Then we found a trapdoor. It led to a tunnel.

    'The tunnel ends. there are two exits. Left or Right?'


    Okay, another fork now. Left or right?

    Uh, Left.

    'Okay. A bit further on you get to a junction. Do you want to carry on ahead, or go left or right?

    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)07:24 No.17310085
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    This went on for a while, when we eventually came to a small room. Seeing as we hadn't mapped our progress so far, because we were retards, we were now probably hopelessly lost. HOWEVER, we were very LUCKY again, because who appeared before us to help us, but Pic Fucking Related.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)07:34 No.17310133
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    The Dungeon Master scolded us for our lack of patience. As it turns out, we had been fucking around in this maze for a good half an hour or so. The DM gave a big shit eating grin as he showed us a maze like the pic attached; massive, dense, convulted, pointless.

    'As punishment for your impatience, everyone loses 1d6 Charisma'.

    I laughed and I realised, that I could run a better campaign than all of them with my hands tied behind my back. I went home and started writing adventures properly, for my friends. I remembered all the horrible things that the group had done, and seared the lessons into my brain, so that I wouldn't repeat them.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)07:40 No.17310160
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)07:49 No.17310188
    >I'm pretty good at this"
    >basic attack

    Something doesn't add up here. Also, whining about shrouds? Seriously? It's practically necessary to being an assassin.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)08:08 No.17310270
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)08:27 No.17310317
    Beaten by 15 minutes, try again next time anon.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)08:43 No.17310362
    bumping for more tales
    >> Forever ST 12/23/11(Fri)09:37 No.17310561
    Fuck this. I ran YGO! league at a store for about 4 hours on Saturdays for the better part of a year. The shit factor? Nope, not the seemingly-ThatGuys who came in (40-50 years, part of the Catpissmen Army); they were the nicest, most polite manchildren I've ever met.

    No, it was the normal high school/college-aged guys who would come in. And demand Ante Rule, from these little kids, or use the confusion of taking control of cards for turns via Change of Heart or Brain Control to keep the cards for themselves. Plus the rampant theft that occured the first two times, which ended up getting all the YGO! cards locked in a glass case to prevent it.

    As the runner, I had to go around, helping with rules calls and sometimes playing (a lot of the kids felt it was fun to play with me, especially when I helped them get better; god, the one poor little 7 year old girl with her 90-card deck... this was in the Long Ago Before Times of deck size limits for YGO!, other than 'minimum 40'). When I caught one of these little shitbags doing this to a kid (he was like six or something, had been forced to give up a Dark Magician rare from pack pulls), I pretty much banned them after getting back as many of the cards as I could (which wasn't many). That Dark Magician in particular.

    God, it makes me angry to this day. I think that's why I don't do shit like that anymore.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)09:47 No.17310614
    So I think I might have been That Guy, I don't know. I'll let you guys and ghouls decide.
    >The party consists of evil-doers of all sorts
    >I'm playing a warforged necromancer who's loyalty is as strong as a twig, Starscreamin' it up.
    >They need me though because I'm the only person who understands magic beyond "it's real purty"
    >Our last evil lord is slain and the new one is David Bowie.
    >David Bowie wants stuff made from unicorns.

    >We go to a nearby elven village/forest. They live in trees and mushrooms you see.
    >After interrogating the elderly we catch word of unicorns that are guarding the nearby mountains. I flub up a check and say that it's bullshit.
    >We find a shrine and desecrate the shit out of it.
    >They mad.
    >We get to skin one but then the mountain starts erupting.
    >I raise the dead unicorns.

    >So tonight, we’re riding our black unicorns. Down the side of an erupting volcano, and we drink, drink, drink from a chalice filled with the laughter of small children and the blood and tears of our enemies.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)09:50 No.17310633
    As a petty act of perceived revenge, a fellow player got my character shotgun wedding-ed when we went through the forest realm.

    God that was a horrible experience. Now I never feel bad about what happens to elves.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)10:03 No.17310715

    What are you doing here, Voltaire?
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)10:06 No.17310735
    His only other fan in the world is also on /tg/. It warms my heart knowing this.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)10:22 No.17310808
    Together, we are three.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)10:30 No.17310835
    >>17310715 here.

    He plays my town about once a year and the shows never disappoint.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)10:36 No.17310857
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    Quick question, I'm called "That Guy" in a group made up of "Those Guys". Am I still "That Guy"?
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)10:42 No.17310882
    It depends on what your sin is, do you have anything to confess that is badwrongfun
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)10:50 No.17310915
    I tend to play evil characters in a mostly good/neutral group. If the game gets boring to me I do stupid shit to get the game moving forward. Nothing too horrible.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)10:50 No.17310916
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    Might as well contribute:

    > Starting an oWoD game
    > Werewolves apparently want to have a peaceful discussion with the Vampires (who are the PCs)
    > I plan on doing one-on-one games before bringing the group together.
    > First up is That Guy
    > Playing a Nazi Ventrue who was born in the middle-ages
    > Insists on wearing ceremonial plate armor while riding in a subway
    > finewhatever.jpg
    > About to meet up with Werewolves when That Guy stops the game for a second
    "Hey, can I ask you a question?"
    "Why don't you do something about your hair? You look like a reject from the 1940's."
    > MFW

    other game

    > That Guy's Ventrue nazi can only feed on Aryans
    > First thing he does when thirsty is grab some dirty hobbo off the street and drain him dead.
    > Promptly throws up all the blood and takes damage, loses humanity to boot.
    > That Guy ragequits.

    I have more on him, if anyone wants to hear it.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)10:57 No.17310954
    Nostalgia Critic used a Voltaire song in his videos. He's not super obscure or anything
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)11:01 No.17310975
    Sure, go for it.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)11:13 No.17311041
    Well it is unfair if you didn't establish the hobo's race, and define Aryan. For instance, are the British Aryan? What if they're overly Celtic? Are the French? Persians? High caste Indians? Arabs? The Japanese?
    A workshy Aryan, or an Aryan Ballastexistenz is still an Aryan.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)11:15 No.17311056
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    >join roleplay group at uni
    >one chick who was ok looking
    >fuck her
    >no need to roleplay at uni anymore

    totally worth it. so gracious.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)11:24 No.17311127
    Ohohoho, I have many stories of this fellow to share with you.

    This particular incident actually crashed a fun-as-all-hell Dark Heresy campaign for me. The GM and That Guy were playing it through Skype text-chat while the rest of us were doing a main quest.
    I did not find out about this until I was sitting down to plan out an Eberron campaign with the same GM. He went back through his Skype message-history for the hell of it and was forced to recollect this venture.

    >That Guy is playing an Arbitrator? Dunno, he refused to show his character sheet to players
    >The rest of us have left this pirate ship we're infiltrating to go raid the nearby feudal world
    >That Guy goes off and dresses up as a woman; rolls well to disguise himself
    >That Guy then goes to the rest of the crew and charms them
    >That Guy offers his body as a prostitute
    >GM thinks he's joking, rolls with it for a few minutes
    >That Guy is serious. Takes several (keyword: SEVERAL) crewmen to a room. Proceeds to have buttsex
    >GM complains it's highly uncomfortable
    >"Yeah, I know."
    >GM forced to tolerate very detailed descriptions of intercourse and fake love-making
    >MEANWHILE, the other guys are not getting much attention because the GM's mind is breaking
    >Somehow That Guy murdered all of the "bad" crew and stole a suit of Best-Quality Storm Trooper carapace armor. When we return to the ship he is insistent that he did all the work.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)11:27 No.17311147
    >That Guy is serious. Takes several (keyword: SEVERAL) crewmen to a room. Proceeds to have buttsex
    >GM complains it's highly uncomfortable
    >"Yeah, I know."
    I lol'd
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)11:37 No.17311209
    Four now.

    >Play in a V:tM game
    >we're plain mortals, doing our thing
    >be a regular dude, cabbie with a college degree in philosophy, useless to me in terms of job collection
    >write short stories and books for extra cash
    >come from middle class family, average guy all around, sheepish
    >the game quickly devolves from horror to tons of fighting
    >somehow roll well through out the next 2 sessions, despite no points in Weapons(knife fight wish ghouls) and shit physical stats
    >still ignorant of what's going on, I figure my friend and I have crossed the mafia and are now paying for it
    > get a message to meet a dude who says he can help, expect he wants to kill me, so I get a steak knife and hide it in my jacket
    > meeting place is old motel, end up face to face with a vampire that also has a gun
    > Luckiest man alive avoids gun shots and fangs, completely lost it because "OHGODOHGOD"
    > kill the guy, somehow
    > THAT DM decides I shouldn't get to live, so the vampires sire was there the whole time, watching
    > Old as fuck, monstrous looking thing laughs at me, says it's been fun but I'm a nuisance
    > Roll to persuade him not to kill me, use willpower, get something like 9 successes and the guy actually fails all but 2 rolls.
    > He pounces on me
    > Wake up as a vampire in 2 days, in a bathtub in a hotel
    > Writing in blood tells me I've broken the masquerade while in a frenzy
    > hotel is on fire, I die
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)11:37 No.17311212
    This fellow has something of an unfortunate reputation within my group.

    You might say he's naturally fucked-up. He didn't even need to play D&D or anything before he had developed some really bad roleplaying habits.
    For instance, the very second character he ever played, in a 3.5e campaign I was forced to run by circumstances.

    >After our second session ever, That Guy asks me to make his Gnome Cleric an NPC so that he can play something new
    >"Sure thing. What do you want to play now?"
    >"Half-Gnome Half-Celestial Cleric."
    >"Uhhhhh. What?"
    >"Well, since I've done such good deeds for my goddess..."
    >(He made this very bizarre homebrew Goddess which was some sort of sexually-liberated super-strong justice-thing)
    >That Guy continues, "I think it would make sense she'd send an agent of her power to assist us."
    >I have no idea yet what the fuck any of this means. I agree
    >That Guy promptly whips out his new character:
    >High strength, retardedly higher Charisma and Dexterity and Wisdom and Intelligence. Has wings, therefore flies. They are level 2. He is wielding a greataxe that is scaled to a normal person
    >Try to complain that this character is obviously overpowered
    >He handwaves it, tells the others I am trying to control their characters. They riot over this
    >I am forced to go along with this
    >That Guy then helps another player make a character to replace one which fell off a cliff
    >He hands him a Half-Dragon Fighter with 24+ Strength. He convinces him to be unfailingly loyal to his Cleric
    >"Oh sweet mother of fuck."
    >That Guy kills everything they come across. Later complains that he's bored
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)11:43 No.17311240
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)11:44 No.17311243
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    dude that is so bad GMing
    that shit there would have won you so many stars under my GMing wing (or armpit rather)
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)11:47 No.17311262
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    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)11:49 No.17311271
    To be perfectly honest most of the cool stuff I did was luck. I also more or less asked for all the attention when I went ahead and testified in a trial despite being threatened not to. Oh, and the the thing with the Vampire? I actually escaped him. I jumped through the glass of a third story window and survived the fall more or less unscathed. He used some vampire discipline to make me limp back to him. Motherfucker had 5 points in Majesty or something.(This may have been nWoD, I forget).
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)11:50 No.17311275
    That's your problem right there.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)11:54 No.17311293
    Eh, I enjoyed the meta-plot going on there. It might've been The Requiem though. This is some years ago. Current party has no That Guy or That GM, we're all close friends with the same ideas when it comes to RP, namely that the story and fun trump rules and they count more than "winning".
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)11:54 No.17311295
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    >implying requiem isnt shit tier
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)11:54 No.17311299
    That guy is DM
    >He's been playing 3.5 for like 6 years, decides to run a pathfinder game
    >Makes it an "early world" where giants are the dominate races because he's got a boner for them
    >If you're not a homebrewed giant, ogre, orc, or goblinoid, you're an outsider
    >start lvl 6 with only 250gp worth of equipment
    >The world is too new to have magical anything
    >Play druid like a boss
    >First fight while stalking this "monster" is 6 creatures that can activate invisibility as a minor action
    >No matter what he rolls his saves are always over 22
    >Find huge ass monster that has greater invisibility, 4 attacks that can hit the tanked fighter rolling a 4
    >Get back to town, almost everyone dead, can only be healed by half.
    >Druid died, made ogre 2handed fighter with ogrekin stats.
    It's okay, the whole town will fight now
    >Monster enters town, fucks up all players. I attack with haste, enlarge person and bulls strength all and all I do roughly 160 damage in one turn, it dont give a fuck
    >All NPC charge, and it becomes visable and almost dead from their attacks
    >One shoots a flame arrow, kills it
    >mfw, all through out the campaign, its him puling his dick over NPCs
    >mfw, after 6 years of playing, he can't run a game
    >mfw i join another group
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)11:56 No.17311308
    and I love shit like that
    in my gaming group we play for fun and for the story.
    if the dice let the players do outrages things we all have a ball
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)11:56 No.17311312
    >implying it is
    Go back to your shitty broken mechanics and convoluted metaplot please, adults are talking.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)11:57 No.17311322
    go back to your sparkles and speshul snowlfake clans
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)11:59 No.17311342
    I got better. Second hand story, but from my conversations with the guy it seems legit.

    >That Guy is a player for a long time, about 11 years. Has DMed for about 6 of those.
    >Loves 4th ed, for all the reasons other people hate it
    >in one session his players go through 2 combats and a short walk down a hallway
    >second session is just one giant combat
    >Mention how he might want to cut down on the insane HP seeing as nobody deals much damage
    >Instantly has clenched sphincter and mentions how he's DMed for 6 years and knows better
    >next session, the party dumps him
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)11:59 No.17311344
    I hate this shit. Something like that happened to me once.
    >Ask master what type of campaing is he going to do (kick in the door, detective,...)
    >"don´t worry Anon, do whatever you want"
    >Italian merchant/mathematicians, trying to do something like "Fibonacci"
    >No combat, low physical attributes
    >Start campaings, tons of combats, zero use of academics or investigation.
    >Rest of the group warriors, mercenaries or assassins.
    >Somehow managed to survive painfully.
    >DM is mad.
    >Then kills me in narrative mode.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)12:00 No.17311345
    Spoken like someone who hasn't even read the corebook.
    Anyway, enough edition warring. We need more Those Guys.
    If nobody has any, perhaps I should repost some old tales of mine?

    >centired told
    Who's Centired and why'd he get told?
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)12:00 No.17311346
    Wait are you talking about Requiem or Masquerade?
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)12:02 No.17311360
    Sorry if I prefer Vampires to have power blocs with ideologies beyond Lawful Neutral, Chaotic Neutral, and Chaotic Evil.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)12:04 No.17311382

    You all shut the fuck up. This is a That Guy thread, not a "my edition's RPenis is bigger than yours" thread.
    >> SUPER AGGRO CRAG !!7x7KzlxQrrH 12/23/11(Fri)12:09 No.17311409

    you can't spell thatguy without /tg/
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)12:14 No.17311440
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    Agreed. Sorry I even waded in to tell the Masquerade guy to shut up.
    Time for some That Guying.

    >am running Vampire: the Requiem for a local club
    >club leader joins game, with premade character
    >it must be noted that this is a class-A retard, with a severe boner for oWoD Tzimisce and an unshakable belief that vampires would win if shit hit the fan and the Masquerade fell
    >he plays lolevil Daeva surgeon, his tiny, silent girlfriend plays a Mekhet, old friend of mine plays a Ventrue
    >near the end of the session, he roleplays seducing the Ventrue, taking her to his place, strapping her down to the bed, having his way with her, then jamming a carving knife into her elbow joint
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)12:15 No.17311447
    Heh, funnny.

    >No, anons, you are That Guy

    > take a break from DMing for 7 months
    > agree to WHFRPG 2nd ed
    > roll a wizard who is also a mobster
    > show up for session, just the GM
    > "Hey man, am I early? Where's everybody else?"
    > "They're not coming, I figured we could try the system and make the plot out, need some help
    > agree with the guy, end up planing the story, making the NPCs (statwise) and designing entire region, complete with problems. Draw sweet map (level up my drawing skill in the process).
    > Next session, people actually show because of me, GM goes "Well, I've not planned anything, but sure, we can make it up as we go along"
    > Figure he's trying to lure them in to thinking things are fine, plot is actually designed to look like a series of unrelated events that go for a big reveal
    > Nope, he just forgot everything I ended up planning
    > Eh, he didn't have time or forgot to look over the plot, or is twisting it up
    > 4 sessions later, nope, he hasn't replaced it with anything, still doesn't use it and fucks everything over

    We then kicked him from the group
    >> Forever ST/GM Guy 12/23/11(Fri)12:16 No.17311451
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    >mfw Requiem has 'speshul snowflake clans' (which are more like broad archetypes) when compared to Masquerade's 'Hi, I'm a Clan of nothing but Gypsies!' and 'I'm a Clan of nothing but crazyfolk' and 'Hi, I'm a Clan of nothing but uggos and thanks for making me not ever have ot make Social a primary so I'm also generally a beatstick'.

    My OWoD 'ThatGuy' story

    >Relatively unimpressive RPer in a Masquerade LARP
    >Gets asked by ST to play an Assamite NPC
    >Assamite is quickly staked and put in a box marked 'Do not open until Gehenna' by Malkavian Primogen
    >Box is delivered at end of session (1am Eastern) to Brujah Elder Primogen, along with entourage (Nos info broker girl, Gangrel who was not typical Gangrel, Malkavian financier)
    >Players all tired, asked if we could just narrate scene after unboxing by dumbass Brujah ends up unstaking Assamite.
    >NPC player says 'No we gotta play it out'
    >MFW still related, when Assamite has 'Movement of Mind x5' as his only big stuff, tries to survive fight by hovering himself and the box. Brujah Elder is giant, stabbing for a couple damage whenever he can, so we're in combat for like two hours while player hems-and-haws around, combined with retardation of OWoD LARP combat system.
    >Assamite dies, player goes '... I wanted to go home two hours ago''
    >I never played with that guy again.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)12:24 No.17311506
    >any player that plays a "sociopath"
    Man, am I the only one who hates that? It's like they think that makes them efficient machines of pure logic, instead of the fucked up, emotionally unstable brain dysfunction it typically manifests in.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)12:26 No.17311523
    Trust me, you aren't the only one.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)12:29 No.17311552
    The thing is if they do think that, it makes it all the easier to roleplay the narcissism and instability that comes with it.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)12:32 No.17311582
    Yeah, too many people want to be Dexter...
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)12:37 No.17311614

    I had a guy, whenever some shit went down he just went: my character is unimpressed, he has no emotion. Or "I have infinite patience" or some shit like that. Discipline, I can get and fully approve of, but fucking nobody has the patience to stand thirty years trying to disrupt another wizard's epic spellcasting. He was level 15 at the time. No ring or magical artifact or anything to account for lack of sleep or food or whatever [I had told him I was sick of DMing, at that point and he took over].
    He'd metagame like fuck all the damn time. At one point he killed a PC because he knew the player didn't like him and decided to just ignore all my "you have no reason to think this" warnings. Ended up with a cave in miraculously killing only him. We ended that, if I remember correctly.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)12:45 No.17311671
    If only he was playing as someone with Autism. "My character is unimpressed. My character stares at your shoes, slowly rocking back and forth." Then someone makes the WRONG BREAKFAST because it's THURSDAY and that's EGGS DAY not GRIDDLECAKES DAY or they tear his blue cloak with like 50 pockets and suddenly he flips out
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)12:55 No.17311730
    New character idea. "ITS EGGS DAY!"
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)12:57 No.17311743
    No one wants to RP themselves these days.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)13:03 No.17311778
    Which is why Hipster: The Ironing is so much more popular than the (in my opinion superior) Autism: The Misfittening
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)13:13 No.17311854
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    >Posts JCR parts 1 and 2 (wrongly named 3), not parts 3 or 4
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)13:14 No.17311859
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    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)13:20 No.17311903
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    mfw couldn't post mfw because a silly person was being silly
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)13:31 No.17311955
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    >Starting a new game with friends and new acquaintance who is interested in playing
    >Gave ZERO warning signs during initial meeting before hand, seemed to be a nice level-headed guy
    >Before the game starts, he announces the following;
    "alright guys, I'm new, but I do know that its a story driven game, right?"
    "Yeah, that's right."
    "Good, so I want the story to completely revolve around me and my character, no questions asked."
    "Uh, what?"
    "Everything we do will not be done with out my express approval, If I don't want to do something we do not do it. If you chose to disobey me, my character will attempt to kill yours."
    "...Thats not how this game works"
    "It is how it works starting right now, oh, Anon, I might have failed to mention that I am a former marine, I own a gun store, and I'm carrying a loaded colt python right now"
    >everyone is silent for a few minutes
    >I agree to start the game
    >Game sucks
    >Everyone goes home quickly
    >Call police some time later
    >Policeman thinks I'm prank calling him, claiming he received a warning from the gun-shop owner in advance about this happening.
    >Pack my shit within a week
    >move to a new town.

    not trolling...
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)13:31 No.17311957
    Not really That Guy or That DM, but worth mentioning:
    in the group with the Shit GM and That guy with the infinite patience thing, was another guy. He was a metalhead(sort of, mainly because he's a giant pussy and a bitch) who would always Mary Sue to the extreme. If his characters died or he rolled shittily enough he'd stop paying attention or just decide to leave because "the story is over for him, now". He's a retard in truth. Neo-Nazi because some of his friends are and they buy him beer at the rallies. You get the idea. Emo as fuck, masochistic.

    He's made a character "concept" of a Weaboo-vesrion Samurai, with a Large Sized Katana the DM(That Guy) said did 2d12 damage because "superior metalworking". This was in Dark Sun. Don't know if the default setting is like this, but we've always played it as: Metal is pretty much non-existent, Magic is unheard of except for the Sorcerer Kings of the Cities. Everything is Desert and Grim to the power of Dark. The DM had us go against (at level 12) two level 40+ Wizards that could break our hands just because they felt like it. Some bullshit reason related to the sword Idiot had.
    The characters I make are usually reasonable within cultural limits. They usually end up leaving the Shit GM and Idiot during That
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)13:32 No.17311963

    Guy's sessions, because there's no reason for them to stick around. This time I decide not go away, making up some bullshit honour about how my character views his as a 'brother' or some shit. This was my 3rd character. The first one the GM killed because...reasons. Just decided to because he wasn't as effective at combat as the guy with the Large Katana and home brewed feats that allowed him to make a Full attack against everything in his threat range. And his crit range was 15-20. But I digress. The guy was a traditionalist Dwarven Fighter, cruel, but with a soft spot for people in need. Hated Giants though. My next character, a ranger, got killed after he rolled a natural 20 on a Will save because he "succeeded too well".
    The third one was something the DM made up. Some crap elven fighter with specialization in Hand to Hand and no armor. Poor man's monk, basically.
    So we go on these pointless treks through the desert, trying to make some sense of the Anime level of convoluted bullcrap the That Guy is spouting as the story. We decide to fuck it, go back toward our city and lead a coup within our mercenary organization, because we're badass by this point. It is at this point that Idiot's sword starts to "undo" people when he kills them. They cease to ever have been. I think That Guy was watching Bleach and this may be connected. Idiot starts insulting my character that he isn't helping him in Combat, because we can't remember the ones he kills [how the fuck did he know we where in combat, you ask? Fucking Magnets].
    We go through this several times, with the DMPCs overshadowing us with their Epic and Awesome abilities and min-maxed builds. In the end, a lvl 40 Wizard snapped my char's neck, because he was becoming too powerful (level 16).
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)13:35 No.17311986
    >Four players. One guy was a dwarf fighter, guy two was a human cleric, That Guy was a ranger (I think), and myself playing a Human Monk.
    >Find ourselves in a labyrinth.
    >Come across an alchemist working on potions.
    >I suggest we ask him how long he's been here, and if he knows his way around.
    >That Guy sticks the alchemist with an arrow before we get a chance.
    >Come across another man lost in the labyrinth.
    >That Guy shoots him for no reason.
    >Finally come across the god damn minotaur.
    >Okay, this thing DEFINITELY knows his shit about the labyrinth.
    >Knowledge rolls tells us they speak Giant.
    >Dwarf happens to know Giant.
    >Tell the Dwarf to strike a deal with the Minotaur.
    >That Guy draws his bow and prepares to shoot the Minotaur.
    >Fuck no.
    >Ask the DM if I can attempt to use my arrow catch feat to snatch his arrow as it's released.
    >That Guy lays his head down on the table for the rest of the game and remains silent.

    We basically left him in that room and continued playing without him. Never saw that guy again.
    Oh, and the Minotaur did help us out in return for a favor.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)13:44 No.17312040
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    >Four players. One was Dwarf Fighter, one humie cleric, a humie monk with me as ranger
    >End up in labyrinth, have shitbad feeling
    >Meet alchemist working on massive explosives and some other poisonous shit
    >One wrong move could end the continent
    >Shoot him before we make contact
    >Get weird looks, pretty sure they're okay with it since they should know this stuff too
    >Come across who the fuck knows what, know it's bad trouble with ring of true seeing
    >Shoot it
    >Doesn't revert to real form, get bad looks, can't say anything IC because char's a mute
    >Come across another shapeshifter, holy fuck this is bad news it's some sort of eldricth abomination thing oh shiit
    >Try to shoot him
    >Arrow's caught
    >Tried to save party instead labelled as that guy and party on path to eternal damnation, with the eldricth abomination essentially turning my character as vegetable
    >DM just smugs at me, thanks for cooperation
    >mfw never playing with that DM again
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)13:46 No.17312054
    John Cloud Raven?
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)13:49 No.17312078

    Meh, crappy way to explain it. Better if it turns out
    > the PC had failed his will save at some point is now under a geas to shoot people when he sees them for the first time
    > Everyone is too dumb to ask about it and too buttfrustrated to ignore it
    > at one point realize what's going on
    > refuse to move, because I am a monster
    > end up trapped in the labyrinth forever because I am a monster
    > poke out one eye and go back to the alchemist
    > read notes and try to come up with solution, I have time
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)13:55 No.17312122
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    >using maps for anything but combats
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)13:59 No.17312141
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    when i first discovered my college had a gaming club freshman year, i joined right up.

    >mfw the players who would become my friends later told me that at the very beginning, they thought i was gonna be THAT GUY, but instead proved myself a damn good teamplayer.

    It would turn out THAT GUY status belong to someone else.

    it was one arrogant pompus fat guy that had been in the club forever that left the group early on over some bullshit about his crossbow and whether it was readied or not.

    Overall though, that group would be one of my favorite groups to play in. Like we literally had an former-satanist girl sitting at the same table as a skinny hardcore biblebelt christian, and we all got along, cooperated, and hung out.

    though the girl did on one occasion nearly bash my brains in with a chair during a movie.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)14:00 No.17312150
    I know a guy... who might not be johncloudraven, but is disturbingly similar. last year I was in San Antonio Texas visiting family and I ended up staying with them for three weeks for the hell of it. I searched local game shops, and ended up meeting a guy who was sporting a shitty chinstrap, greasy slicked back hair, wore this cheesey pair of sunglasses all the time and had a long leather coat that he wore often without a shirt underneath because of how hot it was. and he had lots of funky jewelry. He was playing in a game with me and I only knew him from that one game, he went by the name 'Bishop' and nothing else. He died and left the game loling and I recall him talking about having some aztec vampires across the border to deal with.... odd bird... Probably not the same guy. Hopefully not. But he certainly lives the lifestyle.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)14:02 No.17312170

    So... that means that either John Cloud Raven is everywhere, or it's just a persona used by a secret order fighting evil.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)14:03 No.17312188
    > DM
    > using any sort of map and not imagination
    > nearly 2012
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)14:04 No.17312189

    I mean, this WAS 2010... but I just find that far too coincidental. It seems to just be a way of life... but just maybe...
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)14:12 No.17312227
    bumping for more JohnCloudRavenBishop
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)14:17 No.17312253
    John Cloud Raven is everywhere. He is our protector from the other land, where left is right and right is wrong. He has gazed upon us in our infantile ignorance and cast pity upon us, protecting us from whatever may lurk in the shadows.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)14:21 No.17312272

    This is now canon
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)14:23 No.17312286
    >My next character, a ranger, got killed after he rolled a natural 20 on a Will save because he "succeeded too well".
    >The third one was something the DM made up. Some crap elven fighter with specialization in Hand to Hand and no armor. Poor man's monk, basically.

    My fucking soul hurts after reading that. Fuck this DM.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)14:25 No.17312301
    I knew a guy who wore a trench coat, aviators, slicked back black hair dyed even blacker, and a van dyke goatee. Insisted on being called The Walker. Yeah, THE Walker. I never played a tabletop with him though because he was into larping instead. But he sounds just like another incarnation of John Cloud Raven to me. My friend in his larping group described to me how they were being attacked by a swarm of familiars and The Walker used his primordial form to consume them and destroy the summoners with the power of their own familiars.

    Sounds pretty John Cloud Raven to me. To top it off, their larping group met at Denny's all the time.

    Oh yeah, one time I saw him downtown pantomiming shooting at things that weren't there. Motherfucker is protecting us all from threats we can't even PERCEIVE! Heh.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)14:25 No.17312303
    >>That Guy is about 300 pounds, fedora, trench coat,combat boots and aviator sunglasses

    Aw shit. You just described half of /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)14:29 No.17312321
    Would it not be more proper to call him Bishop John CloudRaven?
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)14:29 No.17312323
    the chair incident....

    >my D&D group would meet up on friday nights to watch movies in the conference room that we also had for saturdays to play D&D
    >one day we are watching Battle Royal
    >I should point out that the ex satanist girl is a fairly ardent feminist, and i often enjoyed teasing her in a brotherly way over those views. She was also 250 pounds and significantly bigger than me.
    >during the movie, it gets to that one scene in the lighthouse where one girl accidentally poisons another which leads to a huge shootout where all girls in the lighthouse end up killing each other.
    >during the silent part immediately after the scene ended, to get a rise out of her, i very matter of factly said:
    > "...and thats why women don't belong in politics"
    >at which point ex satanist girl stands right up and says "ANON, WHY DO YOU SAY THOSE THINGS!???"
    >she then grabs a chair and storms up to me where i was sitting and laughing, holding the chair over her head with the intent of smashing it down on mine.
    >realize i fucked up, realize, oh shit she's serious, realize that the way that i am sitting and the proximity of the table behind me means i can't dodge anywhere.
    >attempt to calm her down, i explain i was joking, etc.
    >she's still there fuming, chair still looking like its gonna come down
    >eventually after more tense diplomacy she puts the chair away, explaining to me that she was literally seeing red and that the initial words out of my mouth were literally incomprehensible gibberish to her enraged mind.

    we would laugh about this for years.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)14:29 No.17312326

    They play their own games, now. They stole all my minis and all my dice. We had bought them together, see. But fuck it. Getting rid of those two guys? Totally worth it. I stopped hanging out with the Shit GM about a year later.
    Man, life is so damn nice without That Guys and asshats in it. Never ceases to amaze me.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)14:46 No.17312420
    That is the most hilarious thing I read all week.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)14:48 No.17312426

    These are all mine, and the people are the same 3.
    Fuck those guys. It's not as funny when you're there, suffering though it.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)14:55 No.17312473
    I laughed so hard I coughed and saw spots.
    Coughing might be illness though I am still amused.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)14:58 No.17312487
    i never knew any johncloudravens

    however i think i knew the sort of people that would hang around a johncloudraven type person back in college

    I used to have as a housemate a girl that was never at home and rarely actually went to her classes (she was failing everything completely and utterly) because she would spend all of her time up in tampa playing vampire larp, and would only come back to where she "lives" to play in the local college vampire larp.

    The aforementioned college vampire larp actually, i swear to god, had "a no sex during he larp" rule, due to some previous incidents.

    and no, no one in the vampire larp would qualify as remotely attractive to anyone or anything.

    also the previous person to have lived in the room that i was in was a friend of the vampire larper girl, who was this grossly overweight pagan/wiccan goth girl who was seen (prior to my moving in) by my other housemate wandering around our weed infested backyard, touching the plants to "commune with the faeries" once claimed that larper girl's spirit guardian Bahamut (in the final fantasy sense) had told her through a dream that larper girl was sad. My friend also saw her wander fully clothed in her goth-wear into the surf at the beach as part of some ritual.

    some people...goddamn
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)15:06 No.17312535
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    wait no, i take it back

    i have seen an actual johncloudraven type

    At a food court at a mall, walking around in black everything, face painted white.

    looked like he might have done a call of the wintermoon at any second.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)15:09 No.17312561
    I hate to say it, but you don't get these kind of freakshows in aliby courses like art and sociology.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)15:20 No.17312629
    New thread?
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)15:21 No.17312634
    >doesn't like Pixie Bards
    I don't understand, it's not even his character and it's not OP. That's the most confusing thing of that whole post to me.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)15:27 No.17312660

    but... the vampire girl and the fat pagan were both "studying" art, illustration and photography respectively.

    my art college was packed to bursting with freakshows
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)15:50 No.17312782
    That's the thing with South Africans.

    They're all either racists. Or black. You can't fucking win
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)15:52 No.17312799

    So you are literally BOTH that guys at that moment in time?

    Fucking awesome.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)15:53 No.17312808

    Pixies exist in 4E?
    >> Forever ST/GM Guy 12/23/11(Fri)16:11 No.17312929
    Yup. At least as of the Heroes of the Feywild book.

    Best build ever: Pixie Berserker.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)16:34 No.17313092
    Are you saying they don't?
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)16:38 No.17313119
    yeah pretty much

    i just can't help it, when someone makes it patently clear what emotional buttons need to be pressed to get a reaction out of them, unless its because of something horrible and traumatic, i will be compelled to push those buttons from time to time if the person tends to react in a humorous way.

    this was well before i ever had heard of trolling. It was just something i grew up around.

    and sometimes it backfires catastrophically
    troll safely kids
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)17:28 No.17313471
    >>In a group where there is no THAT GUY
    >>Perpetually afraid of being THAT GUY
    >> Most TG's don't seem to realise it. And none of these others are in the group are, so by process of elimination.
    >> Should I just quietly leave one session?
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)17:39 No.17313533
    Dude. Roll with it.
    Play the "Dad".
    Make it fun.
    The difference between That Guy and the Fun Guy is taking a situation that dumps on you, and going "I can work with this".

    In my game, I was out one week. So the DM decides I get knocked out, dragged back to a cave, and forcefully signed into a contract with Orcus (opening up the Book of Vile Darkness for use).
    Instead of throwing a fit that I was being picked on for being gone, I rolled with it. He started to slowly become more violent, a bit more of an asshole (he was always a mouthy prick), etc. I basically took the penalty for being gone one week and turned it into a character. Of course, first I had a side-RP culminate in him breaking down to the healer that he feared he was becoming a monster and wanted her to kill him if need be.

    TL;DR: Make it work for you. If the DM allows this shit to happen, clearly he's not about to punish you for rolling with the punches.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)17:55 No.17313599

    Oh shit.

    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)17:59 No.17313614

    The only problem I am faced with, is that I have to tread very lightly because anything I do that the other players might not like, they can always raise it with the DM and she'll side with them because... hey, they're all girls.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)18:07 No.17313667
    >That Guy Stories
    >OP/Anon White Knighting the only Girl onlythe group
    >Implying these are real.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)18:36 No.17313842
    Dude, there's a difference between white knighting and kicking someone in the balls because he pulled a knife on your friend, and your mutual friend had just punched him in the nose.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)19:14 No.17314071
    How does a 300 pound man jump through a window?
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)19:16 No.17314090
    which is why you gotta positiforate the negatorium

    so you are an ultra smurf acting as chaperone for the rejects from the nunnery

    roll with it.

    play up the fact your character is a (relatively) wise old man surrounded by unruly upstarts with no impulse control. Be the only sane man. Play it up with relish. Instead of trying so hard to pretend that he's surrounded by professionals when its obvious he's not, focus on the fact he's surrounded by unprofessional undisciplined crazy bitches.

    I mean it sounds like you're already doing it, but really just have fun with it.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)19:18 No.17314106
    very slowly at first
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)19:30 No.17314202
    >childhood circles have this dorky kid with an absurd bowl cut and braces... err, a retainer, actually. like some crazy plastic thing in his mouth.
    >most people shun him like lepers. me and other childhood friends are kind of dorks and tolerate him because his parents have a shitload of money and thus he has a shitload of stuff, which leads to Star Wars marathons, epic toy soldier battles, and all of us eventually into 40k and the Battletech.
    >he's also bizzarely Anglophile.
    >he introduces us to Battletech in like 5th grade.
    >this game is fuckin' sweet. giant robots shooting and beating the hell out of each other. wait, so many to-hit modifiers.
    >oh, he actually memorized the tables and shit so we can just play. lets' do this.
    >any time he's losing, he lands a jump ship on the table.
    >he also has an unholy obsession with the Phoenix Hawk.
    >and his own Mary-Sue "Empire" that is just the Star Wars Empire with mechs.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)19:37 No.17314246
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    >the wheel of time turns through middle school and into high school
    >over the course of this, everyone else is growing up
    >he's just growing weirder. he becomes a weeaboo. he has a massive hard-on for Sailor Moon and Ranma. he still has his bowl cut.
    >various things caused everyone to distance themselves from him. like screaming "WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU GUYS?" at me and my mom while we were waiting to drive his ass home for the last time freshman year of high school (for obvious reasons)
    >he eventually moves to California with his family.
    >a few years later, a somewhat drunken "hey whatever happened to that weird fuck?" leads to those of us who are still on speaking terms with each other clustered around a computer while we do some google-fu and discover him at an anime convention.
    >with his sister.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)19:39 No.17314254
    Hey guys
    don't mind me, I just archived this thread
    Bye guys
    Oh guys
    the link is
    bye guys
    I love you
    keep on the good work
    bye guys
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)19:42 No.17314280
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    >Flash forward to December, 2011
    >Battletech thread on /tg/
    >someone mentions people on the official Battletech boards who annoy the developers
    >there's a familiar screenname in there.
    >check forums, start sifting through his posts.

    TL;DR "MadCapellan" gave me my first Space Marine. He also threw underpants at some swedish christfag/blackmetalfag. And was beaten to tears with a pillow by a guy who looked an awful lot like a certain Matthew Ward does these days.

    I would have so many stories but I have blocked most of the memories out in order to keep my sanity.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)19:56 No.17314379
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    that reminds me

    so i'm at a con and i run into this guy who is the son of one of the people who i work for. Probably in his early 20s or so. I'm in my late 20s

    There's this girl with him, tight dress, SMOKING HOT. eyeball magnet.

    He's talking to her very matter of factlly in between my conversation with him. I am polite and everything to her and am doing my best to not oogle but not ignore her, and i'm thinking, christ, this guy's got one hell of a gf.

    hot blonde >hey so tell dad i'm gonna be over at blah blah
    dude> 'kay sis'

    Yeah if oogling at what i assumed was the boss' son's gf was serious nope factor. finding out its the boss' daughter, nope nope nope
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)20:20 No.17314542
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    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)20:38 No.17314675

    I've always kinda-wanted to go to a con just because banging a chick dressed like a japanese cartoon would be pretty rad, and I'm normal enough that it probably wouldn't be too difficult (i.e. not some fatass in a Naruto shirt putting chicks on pedestals) but the horror stories about odor have put me off on it.

    also chicks who cosplay and you would actually want to see naked. they are either going to have a screw loose upstairs or are mad slutty and are going to give you a souvenir you didn't ask for.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)20:45 No.17314709

    I can't believe that.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)20:45 No.17314716
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    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)20:54 No.17314796
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    >Join a new group in the prairies.
    >group consists of me, a black guy who looked like tyler the creator with bigger ears as the DM, a guy who looks like the generic tapout-shirt wearing UFC fan, another guy who looks like patrick bateman (he worked at a lawyer firm so he'd show up at our sessions with a suit and tie), a girl who all but covered in tattoos, and That Guy.
    >That Guy looked like a functioning member of society like the rest of us, but this is where the similarities ended
    >playing DnD, I'm a human druid, tattoo girl is a lupin ranger, UFC guy is a monk, patrick bateman is a bard and That Guy is a halfling assassin
    >game begins and about an hour of tablesetting happens
    >everything is going pretty decent despite That Guy never passing up an opportunity to hit on tattoo girl
    >DM starts giggling, which makes me think something's going to happen
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)20:57 No.17314826

    >Oh, it's going to be like THIS
    >everyone is like "well let's just take this girl and take her back to wherever she came from"
    >That Guy devises an excessively convoluted plan that results in getting in the elf girl's pants
    >As stupid as it is we're like "there's no real downside I guess even though we'll get sidetracked"
    >And sidetracked we did
    >30 minutes of unsettling dialogue with DM as elf girl and That Guy trying to get her in bed.
    >DM is very clearly taking the piss, doing the over-the-top animu girl shtick and is doing his best not to burst out laughing
    >That Guy is straight-faced and fielding every question like it's no problem
    >As bad as this is going I'm like "Well, we've probably all been with worse players"
    >Suddenly That Guy stands up
    >"May I be excused?"
    >sure yeah whatever
    >he's in the bathroom for like
    >15 minutes
    >ungodly noises coming out of the bathroom like that guy either needed an enema or an exorcist
    >He walks out like nothing happened
    >We're all trying to do our best NOT to remember the sounds of hell erupting from the restroom
    >Everyone is too afraid to go into the store's bathroom afterwards.
    So that's my That Guy story.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)21:06 No.17314923
    Anyone got that that guy with the ghost-powered candy armor copypasta?
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)21:14 No.17314998

    I don't but now I want to hear tales of candy-powered ghosts.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)21:18 No.17315033
    Your character is now a whethered, sarcastic man, constantly sighing and rolling his eyes to all this shit, just whittling away the days at this insane assignment.

    Make him, in character, always act and react as if he's dealing with crazies. To the point where even their bloody superpowers are mentioned and commented on as being nothing but the dangerous psychotic episodes of a bunch of failures.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)22:25 No.17315583
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    His character cut himself. And as roleplaying That Guy cut himself IRL. How is this that hard to understand?
    Evidenced by his gloat by roleplaying and referring to the knife later as "his knife".
    OP later went on to say that the reason HE hadn't beat the guy down earlier is because he knew had a knife.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)22:31 No.17315637
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    sounds like your guy was attacked by a ghost!
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)22:47 No.17315814
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    At least he won if he walked out sounding so calm.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)22:51 No.17315848
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    who else do we know of that would be capable of defeating a ghost on their own....

    oh fuck

    are you sure your normal looking That Guy wasn't a certain someone in disguise?
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)22:53 No.17315876
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    >MFW I follow that link
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)22:58 No.17315927
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    Am I That DM for putting my characters into situations that can only be effectively solved by abusing the environment and Macguffins?
    Ended the worst Pokemon Tabletop last night; I threw Missingo at them, in a setting 1 year after the events of first gen. A session before they had helped seal off the Cinnabar volcano, and they eventually figured out that they had to open it back up to take out Missingo (who was bound to that island).

    On the subject of no longer being a That Guy player, how do I get comfortable roleplaying?
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)23:00 No.17315942
    In my opinion, no.
    >> The Inquisitor With No Name 12/23/11(Fri)23:04 No.17315985
    Really wish I had met John Cloudraven myself, but I never did. Best friend and I did have a series of very disturbing encounters in highschool, though.

    >Be freshman
    >Have very depressed friend
    >Comes back from Christmas break, bursting with energy
    >Jokingly ask him "did you find God or something?"
    >He says "something like that".
    >Turns out he's been hanging out with his cousins.
    >Cousins are teaching him how to use magic
    >He is now also a vampire.
    >Can read minds

    This guy strong arms our group of friends into helping him fight demons on a daily basis.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)23:17 No.17316119
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    >Heard rumors of a ghost infestation at this guy's place
    >Use a glamor spell to put on a disguise to pass off as a normal and join in on this guy's RPG campaign to get easy access into his house.
    >Know for a fact that ghosts are attracted to erotica, so i ham things up with the GM. I know everyone is giving me looks but don't care. If only they could understand my burden.
    >excuse myself to use the bathroom
    >force the ghost into revealing itself since the erotic descriptions had caused it to be closer to our dimension
    >a climactic battle of wills ensues for 15 minutes straight, requiring all my concentration to banish this ghost once and for all. Casting spell after spell i memorized out of the necronomican, the real one. Of course, i am the victor.
    >walk out of the bathroom like nothing happened. Best not to burden these simple people with a truth that is too horrifying for them to understand.
    >Leave the simple dwelling, whispering "your welcome" on the way out. I then dispell my disguise and disappear into the night.
    >I hear there is a demon loose a few towns over, better check it out.
    >> The Inquisitor With No Name 12/23/11(Fri)23:18 No.17316133
    >Be sophomore
    >Life currently resembles game of Hunter (the reckoning)
    >Party includes: Myself, Best Bro (we're still really tight), his gf, conspiracy theorist, emo kid.
    >Highlights include:
    >"I can read minds" reads conspiracy theorists mind "you are thinking about the government"
    >Reads emo kid's mind "you are thinking about that new mcr album you want"
    >Both just about orgasm on the spot.
    >Me: "Do me next." Deliberately think about taco bell, do best to broadcast this.
    >"Hmm... Damn! I can't believe it... You are a real life blank!"

    That's right guys. I'm a real life Jurgen.
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)23:24 No.17316182

    Haha, I like it!

    I'll try and do that now then, rather than just the bewildered battle brother overwhelmed by problem children, I'll play it like a caring old dad. Take an active interest in their lives.

    "Hello there Sister 1, so is this your boyfriend? No, I don't mind he's an Eldar Farseer, just so long as you two care for each other, and keep it safe."

    "Well done Sister 2, a commendable effort on knocking out that Commissar, good punching form."

    "Right, well Sister 3, just so long as you donate a portion to charity, you can loot the Emperor's Chapel."
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)23:25 No.17316191
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    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)23:29 No.17316223
    here is your reference

    study this man, he is your new codex
    >> Anonymous 12/23/11(Fri)23:29 No.17316231
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    fuck forgot pic
    >> Anonymous 12/24/11(Sat)00:00 No.17316555
    "That Girl" is always worse then "That Guy". "That Guy" doesn't try to steal your husband. Just saying.
    >> The Inquisitor With No Name 12/24/11(Sat)00:29 No.17316825
    Stepped out real quick, gonna bump with more tales of my not-John Cloudraven friend.

    >Be sophomore
    >Best bro gives me a call
    >"Hey man. You should talk to John..."
    >"Why, what's up?"
    >"He's acting weird..."
    >Two of us go to his place. No one home except him.
    >Guy is putting up Joker act (yes, he's acting like Heath Ledger)
    >Stiffle urge to laugh, best bro is super serious.
    >Guy starts telling us how conspiracybro's gf is a witch, and trying to kill us.
    >Guy pulls out knife and starts playing with it.
    >I now see what best bro meant.
    >Starts talking very realistically about "cutting the curse out of her"

    Naturally, I start freaking out.
    >> The Inquisitor With No Name 12/24/11(Sat)00:34 No.17316907
    >Bro starts reasoning with him, suddenly remember I'm a blank.
    >Stand up dramatically
    >Don't worry, sir. I'll take care of this one.
    >Tell him I'll get close to her and neutralize the threat up close, allowing best bro to psychically-whatever her into submission
    >best bro has look of "oh shit what are you doing??", but plays along perfectly.
    >Dramatic exit, begin considering calling the cops.

    Cue several weeks of planning and observation on this guy. Pretty fun, looking back, but the knife and the guys history of depression/blatant disregard for others was perturbing to say the least. Best Bro really came through, as we'd have entire conversations IN CHARACTER about this. Treated every second as if it were real. We go to the same college now, and whenever people ask why we're so tight, we say that we've fought demons together.
    >> Anonymous 12/24/11(Sat)00:42 No.17316999
    My fucking niggas.
    >> Anonymous 12/24/11(Sat)00:44 No.17317036
    you guys are awesome.
    >> Anonymous 12/24/11(Sat)00:48 No.17317085
    >One Piece game
    >Girl makes giant character, with jello logia
    >Fights by towering over enemies or enemy ships, turns full jello, and drowns them
    >As well we have a reliable source of food, as she has no problem with the crew eating her

    I will say I did not eat any, and thankfully so after what happened to that crewmember who turned out to be a Cipher Pol sleeper agent. I did ride around on her shoulders though, as a vantage point it was great.

    Tremendously THAT GIRL, but in a hilarious way.
    >> Anonymous 12/24/11(Sat)00:55 No.17317181
    Kay just a little heads up--If you live in America, "nigger" still means something in real life. It seems meaningless online because lol4chan, but if you use it in person, shit will go down. People get expelled/fired/beaten physically over this. Don't take it too lightly.
    >> Anonymous 12/24/11(Sat)00:55 No.17317182
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    thats kinda...weird and fucked up, sorta

    i mean did that girl just combine the giantess, goo-girl, and vore fetishes all into 1 character...or has all my time on the net just poisoned me so much so much that my mind is in perma gutter mode?
    >> Anonymous 12/24/11(Sat)00:58 No.17317230
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    >> Anonymous 12/24/11(Sat)01:00 No.17317257

    Umm, yes I suppose so, when you look at it like that. Although it seemed like a logical progression to me.

    That she wanted to have a logia, someone joked jello, to which she considered the applications. Then a giantess, to allow for overall, more jello (as she wasn't going to be finding it in the environment naturally). When one of the crew got caught in "friendly fire", it was described as cherry flavored, and so they made the jump to eating her. Which from her perspective I guess made sense as we didn't have to worry about food really anymore.

    Although that's just my thoughts, she could totally have just played a fetish character. She functioned well enough in-game though.
    >> Anonymous 12/24/11(Sat)01:01 No.17317264
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    >> Anonymous 12/24/11(Sat)01:27 No.17317646
    The last group I was in was 80% "that guy" material. I swear, it was like flies to shit with this poor GM. There was aging fatbeard, who would never shut up and acted like he was an expert in everything... despite being a 40+ year old stockboy. There was the other guy who played his Mary Sue bullshit and would not stop repeating jokes from South Park. You also had yelling guy who had the brain of a twelve year old. There was the obnoxious couple, who had characters I've actually attacked in-game. And to finish it all off, there was Nazi Guy; so called for his disturbing pre-occupation with the Third Reich and the creeping antisemitism that kept appearing in his characters.

    The poor GM... I think he wanted to do better, I really do. However, it was clear that he had submitted to despair and took whatever he could get.

    There came a point where I just decided that it wasn't worth the drive or the headaches anymore and just stopped showing up. I haven't been in another group since.

    That was almost eight years ago.
    >> Anonymous 12/24/11(Sat)01:46 No.17317870
    Nice trips, I think that means you need to tell us all about her.
    >> Anonymous 12/24/11(Sat)11:51 No.17320690
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    Oh God, they're eating her... and then they're going to eat me... OH MY GOOOOD!
    >> Anonymous 12/24/11(Sat)13:40 No.17321224
    heres the set up at the time i had been gaming for about 3 years and deiced with a buddys engorgement to DM my first 3.5 game core rule book the orgnial races only roll 4 dice drop the lowest and you got to roll in front of every one. people at the game is my buddy we will call him bro, next was my then at the time crazy gf ussualy played fighter then there was quiet guy who always played rangers. then there was that guy we all knew him we will call him Mikey we knew him from school and invited him cause we need on more first session we all meet up and roll out chars bro rolls out a wiz elf, quiet guy rolls a ranger elf , chick rolls a barbarian elf , i say ok thats a bit odd so mikey what are you gona be he says i found a special race form the races of the wild book cant remember the name of the race there apprently built to be druids i think the dm on them was a 2 if that makes since but in this setting they would be treated as monsters and attacked on site that's OK and all i told him as long as he had a good disguise he could do it since im not totally unreasonable. so this is where the fun starts
    > that guy says well if i cant walk around in public like the party of elfs over there i don't want to do it so i told him no go if you cant play by the rules you cant do it and he cryed about it for a second then he pulled his laptop out and stared a program called redax or something like that its a 3.5 roller he came up with a fighter with str 20 int 21 and chr 18 nothing was under a 15 i told him that wasn't gonna cut it he has to roll in-front of me so with that idea being blasted he sits down and starts rolling keep in mind this all takes place over the course of 3 hours the next abomination he rolls out is a average build he wants to re roll because its to weak i tell him no we all got one roll
    >> Anonymous 12/24/11(Sat)13:46 No.17321282
    >deal with it sooooooooo he makes the char a half orc cleric of a lawful good deity of agriculture we all just stare at him opened mouth high int and chr. well we finally start the game takes place in a pub called ally of lost souls the mikeys char is drinking rum and talking about how good he is when in walks three elfs mikey who says out of game my char is knowen in this bar and i dont like elfs i say ok you dont like elfs but this bar don't know you from a monkey in the zoo. he rages for about a min then proceeds to pick a fight with bros elf . bro throws wine on his plate male and mikey does says im going to grapple i was oh for the love of fuck ok do it long story short mikey grabs elf boy and uses his hair to dry his armor and i right him a note that he is no longer a cleric he blows up and storms out not to be seen for 3 more sessions

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