Posting mode: Reply
Password(Password used for file deletion)
  • Supported file types are: GIF, JPG, PNG
  • Maximum file size allowed is 3072 KB.
  • Images greater than 250x250 pixels will be thumbnailed.
  • Read the rules and FAQ before posting.
  • ????????? - ??

  • File : 1323724642.jpg-(13 KB, 180x180, 276838_189082244498601_408293487_n.jpg)
    13 KB Warhammer 40k: Heretical Love Part VI Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)16:17 No.17191456  
    “I’m not joking, don’t call me shirly, and are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?”

    Doomrider laughs and shrugs before his motorcycle appears underneath him and he goes screaming away on it.

    Well shit.

    The walk back to suite 66 seems as though it takes an eternity. The daemonettes dancing around and having fun now appear slightly less carefree, as though you’ve discovered some terrible ulterior motive.

    Your hands tremble a bit as you fish out the key and it takes you several attempts to fit it in the right way to unlock the door.

    Kaleshi looks up from a Sudoku book as you enter. She’s wearing a small pair of glasses and has a pen sticking out of the corner of her mouth. You never thought a daemonette, let alone a khornette, would play Sudoku of all things. Nyx and Lilith are asleep on the other bed. Though you don’t really care about any of that right now.



    “Are we… Engaged?”

    The khornette raises one eyebrow, stares at you for several uncomfortable seconds, than sighs.

    She sets down her book, marking her place with a miniature chaos banner.

    You follow her as she grabs your hand and leads you out of the room into the quiet hallway.

    “What is all of this now?” She asks, arms folded and an incredulous look on her face.

    “Uhh… Well Doomrider told m…”

    Kaleshi snorts, interrupting you.

    “Doomrider? You believed Doomrider of all daemons? Never thought he’d get some pleasure out of screwing with you a bit?”

    You feel a bit relieved at her words, and let yourself laugh a little.

    “Yeah I guess I didn’t think that one through, did I?”

    Kaleshi shrugs.

    “Well he didn’t outright lie to you though.”
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:26 No.17191569
    Oh man
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:27 No.17191575
         File1323725235.jpg-(92 KB, 708x569, khaleesi-daenerys-targaryen.jpg)
    92 KB
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)16:28 No.17191581

    Kaleshi sighs again, heavily, before looking away from you so her silvery white hair obscures her face.

    “Would… Would it be that much of a problem? If we were…?” She starts playing with a strand of her hair nervously.

    You pause. This is something you hadn’t really thought about. Would it be too terrible, life with three daemonette waifus?

    “I hadn’t really thought it over. I don’t really think I would mind.”

    Kaleshi giggles, and turns back to you with a wide smile.
    “Well that bit of daemon law is ancient and no longer actually binding. Besides, if you even want a SHOT at me, you’re going to have to court the fuck out of me first.”

    The awkward silence between you two is broken as the Emprah walks around the corner and waves.

    “Yo, Max! Time to get you back into your mortal, fleshy self again before time runs out.”

    You turn back to Kaleshi, who plants a kiss on your cheek.
    “Have fun, and here’s the personal communicator for the three of us.”

    “Daemons have personal communicators?” You ask, pretty surprised.


    “>not having a personal communicator”

    Kaleshi responds with a very strange face…

    “Alright Emprah, I’m ready for the teleport now.”

    The Emperor laughs, slapping you on the back.

    “Too much chaos interference to do that right now, don’t want you waking up with tentacle arms or something. No no, we’re going to have to ride on out far enough to do it.”

    “We’re going to do what?” You ask, not liking the sound of it.

    “Surf, Max. We’re going to surf the warp.”
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:29 No.17191594
         File1323725395.jpg-(227 KB, 408x884, 40k Eldar 1323177737400.jpg)
    227 KB
    Well this is going to awkward the next time we see Esh.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:29 No.17191596
    Links to previous threads if you would please?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:30 No.17191599
         File1323725431.jpg-(13 KB, 204x225, 1318423003769.jpg)
    13 KB
    Surfing with the Big E?

    Papa-N, you never cease to amaze me.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:31 No.17191605
    I was only here for the third thread.

    I think that was the one with the tau battlesuit and you jizzing in her ass?

    Can someone fill me in on whats happened in the last three threads?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:32 No.17191621
    Should we be rolling to surf? Or is that just an invitation for disaster?
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)16:33 No.17191629
    Thread 1 - Sorita: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/17067317/

    Thread 2 - Farseer: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/17073735/

    Thread 3 - Tau: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/17095883/

    Thread 4 - Death and Party: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/17116254/

    Thread 5 - Party Time: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/17168467/

    STILL keep forgetting to link these in the OP and the next time I do I'm jumping into traffic
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:34 No.17191638
    1st thread:
    2nd thread:
    3rd thread:

    4th thread:
    5th Thread:
    >> The person who asked that 12/12/11(Mon)16:35 No.17191652
    Thank you good sirs or madams or traps.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:36 No.17191662
    That was the third thread. Since then we went looking for daemons, found some, got killed and went on an afterlife party in the warp with the Empra. Proved that we're a master of card tricks, smoked some Eldar Souls with Doomrider, maybe became a psyker and totally screwed 3 daemonettes.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:36 No.17191664
         File1323725794.jpg-(191 KB, 1280x800, cultist.jpg)
    191 KB
    >Here for the start of this session
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:38 No.17191678
         File1323725893.gif-(1 MB, 350x191, disgonbgud.gif)
    1 MB
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:38 No.17191679
    >“Surf, Max. We’re going to surf the warp.”
    Oh man if you fit in a Bill and Ted reference I'll have your babies OP.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:39 No.17191689
         File1323725959.gif-(2.6 MB, 400x213, 0pbh.gif)
    2.6 MB
    >mfw every time Papa-N posts in every one of these thread.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:39 No.17191691
    My body is ready Papa-N.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)16:40 No.17191700
    With a final goodbye to your favorite little Khornette, you follow the Emperor as he leads you around.

    Your mind is blown as he takes you out onto the stern of what is actually a massive ship. This party has been on one massive boat this whole time.

    The scene outside the ship only furthers your downright terror at what the Emperor told you moments ago.

    “Oh man, you have no idea how STOAKED I am to do this!” He sings as he pulls two surf boards from a closet.

    You manage to peer a bit more over the edge and swallow hard. Purplish warp-ness flowing all around you, swirling and moving in maddening ways. Your body is not ready for this. What was that large glass box that just sailed past with two guys in it? Fuck, you don't know.

    “Uhm, Emprah. I don’t mean to sound doubtful in your own
    awesomeness, but this may well stretch beyond my realm of abilities…”

    The Emperor looks up from gazing into the warp giddily. He doesn’t appear to have heard you.

    “Grab that board dude, time to get ready. This party made Slaanesh generate some kind of huge pleasure swell and that’s what we’re going to surf on out of here.”

    With shaking hands you pick up the board he left for you, a red and black one with the emblem of the Admech on it.

    Your mind is spinning. There is no way you can do this, what happens if you fall? What happens if the Emprah leaves you behind? Too many questions, no answers, no time.

    “LETS DO THIS RADICAL THING!” The Emperor shouts as he jumps off the back of the ship, shoving his own board underneath his feet.

    Well, if you don’t go now, he WILL leave you behind.

    1d20 for surfing
    >> This Thread Rubbish Soldier 12/12/11(Mon)16:40 No.17191703
         File1323726044.jpg-(31 KB, 400x225, yes.jpg)
    31 KB
    mfw i see this thread
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:41 No.17191710
    rolled 5 = 5

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:42 No.17191715
    rolled 17 = 17

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:43 No.17191726
    rolled 14 = 14

    Dice Gods have mercy on my soul
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:44 No.17191735
    rolled 18 = 18

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:44 No.17191736
         File1323726246.jpg-(43 KB, 581x389, small-hot-fuzz-5.jpg)
    43 KB
    What do you call a male Khornette?
    Pic related.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:44 No.17191739
    rolled 18 = 18

    Surf City here we come!
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:44 No.17191742
    rolled 10 = 10

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:44 No.17191743
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:44 No.17191744
    rolled 11 = 11


    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:45 No.17191749
         File1323726320.jpg-(171 KB, 442x434, 1322672007363.jpg)
    171 KB

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:45 No.17191753
    OK. Stop the rolling.

    We good.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:46 No.17191763
         File1323726389.jpg-(114 KB, 600x720, Not sure if Heretic.jpg)
    114 KB
    Close but no cigar.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:47 No.17191774
         File1323726449.jpg-(46 KB, 500x401, 1319390669492.jpg)
    46 KB
    rolled 8 = 8

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:49 No.17191790
    >What was that large glass box that just sailed past with two guys in it? Fuck, you don't know.
    >> Rubbish Soldier 12/12/11(Mon)16:49 No.17191794
    rolled 18= 18
    surf's up bruh
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:49 No.17191797
         File1323726588.jpg-(8 KB, 256x256, 1322189892368.jpg)
    8 KB
    Then what would it be?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:50 No.17191801
    We need to see a blue box as well.

    Fandom wills it.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:52 No.17191825
    rolled 12 = 12

    Let's do this.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:52 No.17191827
         File1323726757.jpg-(25 KB, 500x211, tumblr_lg0dpw7myE1qgi26jo1_500.jpg)
    25 KB
    Khornetto, stupid.
    Just like in the pic. It's not a coincidence they call it the Cornetto Trilogy.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:54 No.17191844
         File1323726858.jpg-(51 KB, 460x300, billandted.jpg)
    51 KB
    >What was that large glass box that just sailed past with two guys in it? Fuck, you don't know.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:54 No.17191855
         File1323726896.gif-(433 KB, 320x240, 1315008512503.gif)
    433 KB
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)16:56 No.17191870
    Nothing could have ever prepared you for this, you are probably going to die.

    Those are the only two thoughts you manage to have before you leap out into the void, clumsily trying to fit your own board underneath you.

    You can see the Emperor beneath you, who appears to be falling slowly and gazing back for the massive wave that is HOLY FUCKING GOLDEN THRONE IT’S RIGHT GOD DAMN BATMAN BEHIND YOU!

    “OH FUUUUUUU EMPRAH!!!!” The glowing vorpal wave of pleasure rockets you forward and sends you spinning end over end, holding onto your board for dear life.

    “Yeah man! Show that wave who’s Emperor! Make that wave your BITCH!” The Emperor cheers you on, completely oblivious it seems to your plight.

    It takes everything you have, but you manage to right yourself until you are again standing on the board. This doesn’t make the ride any less terrifying.

    Still, you relax just slightly when the Emprah himself glides up to ten feet or so to your right. The look on his face one of absolute joy. Well at least he’s having fun…

    “Hey Emprah! How long until you can do that teleport thingy or whatever to put me back in my real body?” You shout over to him.

    The Emperor turns his head and looks back at the ship which is growing ever smaller behind you.

    “Bout tree fiddy!” He yells back.

    What by the C’tan does that even MEAN!?

    You don’t have much time to dwell on it, as the Emperor banks hard on the wave. Not wanting to be separated, you do your best to mimic him and follow along.

    That is, until you slip and fall into the massive wave right beneath you.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:56 No.17191873
    rolled 17 = 17

    Rollan for bodaciousness
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:57 No.17191877
         File1323727023.jpg-(55 KB, 250x250, 1322708021127.jpg)
    55 KB
    rolled 20 = 20

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:57 No.17191879
    Papa-N can have my entire Megadeth collection.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)16:59 No.17191910
         File1323727184.jpg-(92 KB, 1200x800, Dr-Horrible-Wallpaper-dr-horri(...).jpg)
    92 KB
    Bitch, please.
    I've got a PHD in Horribleness.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:00 No.17191915
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:02 No.17191943
         File1323727334.jpg-(78 KB, 500x400, odds.jpg)
    78 KB
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)17:06 No.17191989
    Unfathomable pleasure washes over you, pure pleasure. The feeling beyond words. Almost enough to make you release your death grip you have on your board above you.


    You struggle to pull yourself back onto your board, gasping for air. Not that any of this makes any sense, air in the warp, seriously?

    It takes everything you’ve got to stand back up again, knees shaking.

    Thankfully the Emperor is right beside you again, though he doesn’t seem concerned.

    “Knew you would make it bro!” He laughs happily, clearly enjoying every second of his time on a board.

    “This has been the most bizarre and terrifying ride of my life. Are we far enough for the colors and the warping?” You ask, ready to be back on dry land again.

    “Few things I’ve got to tell you before that.” The Emperor says, his face becoming serious.

    “We had a talk about what I wanted you to accomplish, but I’ll have to get back to you on when and how to get that ball rolling… I ran into some… Uhh… Complications with Tzeentch…” He fumbles his words, looking distant for a moment.

    “You got strange with that chaos goddess, didn’t you?”
    The Emperor sighs, than shrugs.

    “According to Nurgle she’s been infatuated with me for a few millennia now and just didn’t know how to approach me, couldn’t work up the courage.”

    You let him leave it at that.

    “It’s been a… Radical ride, dude.” You tell him.

    “Yeah man, you’re a pretty awesome dude. Oh, by the way, I can’t save you from death again.”


    “Yeah you know dude, can’t let it change your character and all that. Plus the next time I do you would probably fail a perils of the warp roll and self destruct or something. We will talk again though. SHAZAM!”

    You wake up suddenly, jolting upright, and slamming your head into the rear hatch of the Chimera.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)17:10 No.17192039
    [ ] Find the Mechanicus and see if anyone is still alive there.

    [ ] You don’t know much about Dark Eldar, but you aren’t
    exactly sure you want to know more.

    [ ] Spy on what has the Orks acting so weird, you’ve never seen them like THIS.

    [ ] The Necrons are surely up to something sinister…

    [ ] Call from the tsunseer.

    [ ] Burn some heretic traitors with the bolter bitch babe.

    [ ] Help the Tau girl find her brother.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:11 No.17192042
    Tau girl
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:11 No.17192046
    Quick, check to make sure everything i ok.
    Is your Hat ok?
    Oh, and is your chest all chain axed up.
    is our eye sockets ok?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:11 No.17192050
    rolled 20 = 20

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:11 No.17192052
    rolled 14 = 14

    >[x] Call from the tsunseer
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:12 No.17192058
    Tempted to call esh, but it would be more fun if we wait until she rings us. Let her stew a bit, tease out the dere from the tsun.

    [X] Find the Mechanicus
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:12 No.17192060
    [x] You don’t know much about Dark Eldar, but you aren’t
    exactly sure you want to know more.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:12 No.17192062
    It's the only Loyalist group we havent visited yet.
    >> Servant Of The Emperor 12/12/11(Mon)17:12 No.17192067
    [x] Tsunseer
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:12 No.17192068
    Check out the necron
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:13 No.17192071

    Although the mechanicus mite be cool too.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:13 No.17192072
         File1323727987.png-(419 KB, 568x670, punishment of Shadowsun.png)
    419 KB
    [X ] Show the Tau girl who's her Daddy.
    >> Rubbish Soldier 12/12/11(Mon)17:13 No.17192078
    pretty tied with
    >>[x] The Necrons are surely up to something sinister…
    >>[x] Call from the tsunseer.
    Who knows, mayhaps we'll score with the Eldar chick.... or score some lolicron poontang, since we laid with a daemonette loli...
    >> Taffer 12/12/11(Mon)17:13 No.17192080
    Mechanicus, we need more ladies on our side
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:14 No.17192083
    Dark Eldar, for the love of all that is heretical
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:14 No.17192091
    Necron, so we can get our CLANG CLANG on.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:15 No.17192095
    [x] You don’t know much about Dark Eldar, but you aren’t
    exactly sure you want to know more.

    Just to see the tsunseer's reaction.
    >> Papa !NurglevYtE 12/12/11(Mon)17:15 No.17192097
         File1323728109.jpg-(102 KB, 1200x1500, GM Nurglette swimsuit.jpg)
    102 KB
    Just poking my head in to say hello. And to mention "secure" tripcodes (with the double ## to make !!) change every so often to a different tripcode as they seem to be shunned.

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:15 No.17192101
    It's gotta be the mechanicus or dark elves...
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:15 No.17192104
    rolled 16 = 16

    Seems I derped, esh is ringing us

    [X] Call from the Tsunseer
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:16 No.17192113
         File1323728186.jpg-(40 KB, 500x375, 1316315253316.jpg)
    40 KB
    rolled 18 = 18

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:16 No.17192117
    rolled 12 = 12

    Dark elves.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:17 No.17192123
    Tsunseer is the best choice
    Dark eldar as a secondary.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:18 No.17192125
    rolled 19 = 19

    Help the tau.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:18 No.17192127
    [X] Call from the tsunseer
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)17:21 No.17192155
    ugh, this is tied up as shit between tau and both colors of eldar

    highest roll + choice i guess, this one is too close to call really
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:22 No.17192159
    [X] Call from the tsunseer.
    She might not call us again.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:22 No.17192163
    rolled 3 = 3

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:22 No.17192164
    rolled 18 = 18

    [X] Tsunseer
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:22 No.17192166
    Call from tsunseer <- sort of implies the call is pending and therefore we already rowed rowed this boat into harbour and time to unload our goods!
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:22 No.17192168
    rolled 2 = 2

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:23 No.17192174
    rolled 4 = 4

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:24 No.17192182
    rolled 3 = 3

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:25 No.17192193
    rolled 19 = 19

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:26 No.17192201
    Seems esh is getting impatient :p
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:26 No.17192204
    rolled 5 = 5

    Dark Eldar!
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)17:32 No.17192258
    Your head is still ringing from the impact, you hit that door fucking hard.

    With a groan you rub your poor forehead, but the ringing doesn’t subside.

    Wait, that’s your personal communicator.

    It’s a bit of a struggle to find which pocket it’s in, your head does still hurt after all.



    The volume causes your device’s speaker to screech in protest and you hold it at arm’s length from your head. You can still hear a flurry of words, many of which you believe to be a foreign language.

    The screaming subsides briefly and you venture a bit closer to your own mic.



    “Uhh… Well…”

    [ ] Took a nap.

    [ ] Died, saved by the Emprah, went to a party, smoked some souls with Doomrider. You know, the usual.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:32 No.17192261
         File1323729154.gif-(45 KB, 207x237, f5 mash.gif)
    45 KB
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:33 No.17192269
    [X] Took a nap

    She wouldn't understand/believe
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:34 No.17192271
    >> Rubbish Soldier 12/12/11(Mon)17:34 No.17192277
    [ ] Took a nap.
    If we were to ever tell her we snorted up elfdar souls and got psyker powers, she will fucking annihilate us, and the Big E did say he wont be able to save us a second time...
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:34 No.17192278

    [x] Spill the guts on the story
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:35 No.17192285
    rolled 17 = 17

    >[x] Died, saved by the Emprah, went to a party, smoked some souls with Doomrider. You know, the usual.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:35 No.17192287
    [x ] Died, saved by the Emprah, went to a party, smoked some souls with Doomrider. You know, the usual.

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:35 No.17192288
    [x] Died, saved by the Emprah, went to a party, smoked some souls with Doomrider. You know, the usual.

    Isn't the truth always the right way? Well, maybe we shouldn't talk about smoking a bazillion tortured Eldar souls.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:36 No.17192295
    [X] Died, saved by the Emprah, went to a party, smoked some souls with Doomrider. You know, the usual.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:36 No.17192299
    [X] I guess, I took a nap because I cannot have done what I just did.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:36 No.17192301
    Spill the guts on the story

    she's a psyker, which means she could probably get the truth from us anyways
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:36 No.17192302
    Crazy as it was, I say tell he we died and met the Big E. Leave out smoking Eldar and banging daemonettes though if we can.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:38 No.17192319
    this, what she doesn't know won't hurt us
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:38 No.17192320
    "Died and when to a bangin' party with the Emprah, took a hit off a soul joint, woke up just now. No biggie, y'know?"
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:39 No.17192333
    [X] Died, saved by the Emprah, went to a party, smoked some souls with Doomrider. You know, the usual.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:42 No.17192361
    rolled 17 = 17


    You all need to man up and admit that Kaleshi was the best lay of your (un)life. ONLY THROUGH IMPRESSION SHALL THE COMMISSAR SEE YOU WORTHY
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:44 No.17192388
    Can't we just Omnomnom herand be done with it?
    > implying Slaaneshi Whorelord didn't just post all related pics
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)17:46 No.17192404
    “Um, Its quite a bit to explain… You see…” You give her a brief summary of the events that transpired, carefully leaving out the bits about banging three daughters of chaos gods.

    A minute goes by of silence, you aren’t really sure what drove you to tell her the whole story. Even you have to admit, you will be lucky if there isn’t an Eldar hit team out after you now.

    “…Still there?” You ask quietly.

    “So let me get this straight. Not only did you consort with that vile Slaanesh… THING. But you accepted and actually smoked the souls of THOUSANDS of my people?”

    Yeah, she’s probably going to have you killed. You don’t know how to answer that. She doesn’t say anything more either.

    “…Max… That’s so…”

    Aww shit, here it comes.

    “That’s so… Selfless.”

    Wait, did you just hear that right? You press your device as close as you can to your ear. Is Esh… Crying?

    “I mean, to take it on your own shoulders to save all those poor Eldar from being consumed by that hell… Knowing full well the consequences… That was so brave.”

    This is Eldar trickery, has to be.

    “Yeah well, couldn’t let Slaanesh have those souls if there was something I could do about it… I guess?”

    Esh bursts into sobs and you can hear her frantically moving stuff around in the background.

    “You alright?” You inquire.

    “D-Do you want to come over… For dinner?” She asks finally.

    [ ] Ayup

    [ ] Nope
    >> Fireman Prime 12/12/11(Mon)17:47 No.17192416
    [X] Ayup
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:47 No.17192426
    rolled 9 = 9

    [X] Ayup
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:47 No.17192429
    rolled 15 = 15

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:48 No.17192431
         File1323730082.jpg-(41 KB, 330x367, fuckyeahmissar.jpg)
    41 KB
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:48 No.17192432

    [X] Ayup
    [X] Ayup
    [X] Ayup
    [X] Ayup
    [X] Ayup
    [X] Ayup
    [X] Ayup
    [X] Ayup
    [X] Ayup
    [X] Ayup
    [X] Ayup
    [X] Ayup
    [X] Ayup
    [X] Ayup
    [X] Ayup
    [X] Ayup
    [X] Ayup
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:48 No.17192439
         File1323730098.jpg-(13 KB, 90x97, 1309350168997.jpg)
    13 KB

    It's obviously an Eldar trick.

    Still voting Ayup though.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:48 No.17192441
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:48 No.17192445
    [X] Nope
    She will come to us lads...
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:49 No.17192458
    rolled 12 = 12

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:49 No.17192463
         File1323730176.gif-(1.34 MB, 300x225, 1295929330547.gif)
    1.34 MB
    [X] Ayup
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:49 No.17192468
    [X] Ayup
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:49 No.17192469
    Naw. We're good.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:50 No.17192477
         File1323730224.jpg-(58 KB, 455x406, The_Emperor_Protects_by_Gacopi(...).jpg)
    58 KB
    [X] Ayup

    What could possibly go wrong?

    >> Rubbish Soldier 12/12/11(Mon)17:50 No.17192485

    [ ] Ayup
    hell ya! Never really thought of smoking eldar souls instead of doomrider as being selfless, way to think outside the box, Papa
    >> Rubbish Soldier 12/12/11(Mon)17:51 No.17192495
    *insted of doomrider smoking them
    >> Iron Lung 12/12/11(Mon)17:52 No.17192509
    [X] Ayup

    GJ nailing the essense of Tsundere, Papa N.
    True to form, she's unpredictable. o.O
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)17:53 No.17192518
    “Umm… Yes?”

    “GREAT!” Esh yells, no longer in tears.

    “Uhh… Hah… Give me like half an hour to get ready. I’ll send a warp spider to pick you up.”

    And with that, she hangs up.

    You waste your time flipping through that discarded Admechgirl magazine. Some of those enhancements, wow. Can she really? With those? Oh Emprah.

    Suddenly, a warp spider pops into your view.



    He grabs you, and suddenly you are standing on the inside of an Eldar ship.

    Esh’s grin of pure malevolent evil staring you right in the face as she eagerly sharpens the tip of her spear.

    “Aww shit.”
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:54 No.17192522
         File1323730441.gif-(4 KB, 100x100, 1310198188402.gif)
    4 KB
    rolled 8 = 8

    [x] Ayup

    Fuck year
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:54 No.17192535
    Perhaps you have forgotten you primer, guardsmen.

    "the eldar are despicable aliens, untrustworthy and decadent" Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer, Damocles Gulf Edition, Chapter 5, Section 3.

    That being said, the primer is a little lacking when it comes to sexy farseer ass, so, [x] AYUP.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:54 No.17192537
    Aw shit
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:54 No.17192542
         File1323730498.jpg-(43 KB, 500x410, somethingisafoot.jpg)
    43 KB
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:55 No.17192544
    We so gonna get soul-sucked.
    I mean, we basically absorbed some dozen Eldar heroes. And she WILL want those in the infinity circuit.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:55 No.17192550
    You fools!
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:55 No.17192551
         File1323730542.jpg-(2 KB, 126x93, batman spit out drink.jpg)
    2 KB
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:56 No.17192560
         File1323730574.jpg-(96 KB, 500x555, with-jews-you-lose.jpg)
    96 KB

    >trusting eldar
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:56 No.17192568
         File1323730602.jpg-(385 KB, 900x723, bjs1.jpg)
    385 KB
    Yes, she can.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:57 No.17192574
    Don't worry, our radical inquisitor will happily relinquish those souls if Esh does the sucking.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:57 No.17192576
         File1323730640.jpg-(33 KB, 200x200, considerthefollowing.jpg)
    33 KB
    It's okay, we fought abaddon himself and got away. What's some silly eldar bitches got on our newly aquired godlike powers?
    >> Empsykins 12/12/11(Mon)17:57 No.17192577
         File1323730642.jpg-(79 KB, 309x590, Emperor's_Lament2.jpg)
    79 KB
    Dammit Max...
    I can't help you this time.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:57 No.17192580
    There is evidence that what you take into your body alters and infuses your bodily fluids.

    This includes semen.

    Of course you know what this means:

    She will suck them out through our penis. For her race, of course.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:58 No.17192585
         File1323730681.jpg-(27 KB, 621x339, 1321660177248.jpg)
    27 KB
    rolled 10 = 10


    You faced down Abbadon like he was a bar-room thug. You one-shotted Doomrider. This bitch should be small fry. YOU ARE MAX. YOU GIVE ZERO FUCKS.
    >> noko Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:58 No.17192590
    Oh, Anonymous. Your lack of forethought is about to get Max killed.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:59 No.17192600
    Inb4 huehuehue. I hope.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:59 No.17192602
    Well this is awkward, she might not be trying to kill us I suppose?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)17:59 No.17192604
         File1323730761.jpg-(22 KB, 297x320, Farseer Tl;dr.jpg)
    22 KB
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:00 No.17192612
    >Varying Degrees of Meh

    I figured this might happen.
    The alternative would have been running around in an attempt to escape a party of Eldary trying to catch us. That would have gone well.

    "Is that incase my head explodes from the new warp powers? Because I'm not really confident I'd avoid the whole Perils thing."
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:00 No.17192625
    Harken back to that one book Max found in his youth, saying that spear-sharpening is an ancient eldar courtship ritual.

    Complement her on her sharpening skills.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:01 No.17192626
    But Anon, she's a tsundere.
    >> Rubbish Soldier 12/12/11(Mon)18:01 No.17192627
    GOD DAMN IT!!!
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:02 No.17192650
         File1323730946.gif-(268 KB, 650x800, Honkkick.gif)
    268 KB
    It can't end like this! IT JUST CAN'T END LIKE THIS!

    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)18:03 No.17192672
    “Ha ha.” She beins to laugh slowly, quietly.

    “Ha ha ha ha…” Raising her spear and pointing it right at your chest.

    “Listen Esh, I can explain…”

    You barely manage to leap out of the way as the spear thrusts through the space occupied by your heart barely a second ago.


    You are ducking, dipping, dodging and ducking to avoid the repeated thrusts, unable to get a word in lest you catch one through the gut.


    A fateful jap catches you finally, you should have known you weren't agile enough to dodge an Eldar's attacks forever.

    You groan as Esh slowly works the blade around, grinning at your suffering.

    "Hope it was worth it." She says, before a nearby Eldar separates your head from your shoulders.

    So what should the next character be? O.G. Ork boy in a looted lowridah?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:04 No.17192679
         File1323731060.jpg-(290 KB, 416x600, Yandere.jpg)
    290 KB
    This right now has more likeness with yandere.
    She gunna cuttem out, I tellya.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:04 No.17192683
    rolled 11 = 11

    Best be trollin' PapaN

    Best be trollin'
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:04 No.17192685
    rolled 19 = 19




    Even though that would look awesome...
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:05 No.17192692
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:05 No.17192695
    rolled 7 = 7

    We will use our Warp Psykery that's what we going to use
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:05 No.17192701
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:05 No.17192702
         File1323731156.jpg-(21 KB, 400x320, oh_god_no.jpg)
    21 KB

    God damn it Papa-N, you'd best be trolling!
    You'd best be god-damn trolling!
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:06 No.17192709
    rolled 4 = 4

    >Forces us to smoke the souls.
    >Tells us that the Eldar will not know.
    >Gives option to spill the beans.
    >Kills us.
    God damn.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:06 No.17192713
    rolled 6 = 6

    Roll for deception.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:06 No.17192715
    Hahaha. Nice Joke.. Right..Riiiiiggghhhtt..
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:07 No.17192728
    Can we be Max's lesbian sister, a Leman Russ gunner, out for revenge?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:07 No.17192730
         File1323731242.jpg-(155 KB, 1280x720, Why would you do this Font.jpg)
    155 KB

    But... but...
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:07 No.17192734
    You idiots, why did you tell her?
    >> Rubbish Soldier 12/12/11(Mon)18:08 No.17192741
         File1323731289.jpg-(63 KB, 616x401, fusrodah_616.jpg)
    63 KB
    If this u be trollin Papa, why bother dodging since max is a full fledge psyker now.... fucking blast her with our powers! FUS ROH DAH her to pieces if she really wants us dead!
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:08 No.17192743
    This if you are not trolling Papa.

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:08 No.17192749
    rolled 19 = 19

    PapaN is doing his customary trolling, we will soon return to our adventure
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:08 No.17192750
         File1323731327.png-(380 KB, 867x1575, Leanork.png)
    380 KB
    rolled 11 = 11

    Lean ork Rises?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:08 No.17192753
    Sure. Always wanted to play an Ork.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:09 No.17192757
         File1323731367.jpg-(147 KB, 1920x1080, rPbVU.jpg)
    147 KB
    dude... what.

    and i still want to know what maxes soul feels like.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)18:09 No.17192759

    Yeah, I can dig it.

    "My name is Helena Decarus, you killed my brother, prepare to die."
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:09 No.17192767
    rolled 9 = 9

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:10 No.17192769
    She had an unhealthy level of love for her brother.
    >> Servant Of The Emperor 12/12/11(Mon)18:10 No.17192780
    [x] Sure I'd love t-Wait Consequences?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:10 No.17192781
    Please to be not.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:12 No.17192803
         File1323731556.jpg-(175 KB, 388x497, ripley-4.jpg)
    175 KB
    Rip and tair! Hail and kill!
    This bitch dared to kill Onii-san!
    Nuke her from orbit!
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:13 No.17192813
         File1323731587.jpg-(170 KB, 566x800, The-Bard-Triple-Fun by Fredrik(...).jpg)
    170 KB
    Which he was oblivious to, like the Bard and the Elf in those Bard comics.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:13 No.17192814
    We got too cocky. We thought we were untouchable.

    Hell, we fucking boned three daemonettes for Emps' sake! We were flying on wings of glory!
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:13 No.17192821
         File1323731605.gif-(48 KB, 320x331, 1295235178928.gif)
    48 KB
    But we couldn't even try to defend ourself! We fought Abaddon, some Sea Leviathan and whatever, and now we die like a bitch to another one?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:13 No.17192824
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)18:14 No.17192830
    Helena sighs from her perch on her lemon russ "noboyzallowed".

    It's a hot day, and even in her very minimalist bikini she's sweating.

    "Hey Helena, Admech says they can get our main gun back up and running but it's going to take a day."

    Helena smiles at her best friend Sarah.

    "No problem, we don't have anything much to do today anyways."

    Sarah nods.

    "Hey, how's that stupid brother of yours doing?"

    Helena's smile fades.

    "I... I don't know. He was sending letters pretty regularly but we haven't heard from him at all in a while..."
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:14 No.17192831
    Actually, this is the greatest quest thread ever.
    So many just descend into complete mary sue wankery and barely disguised fapfiction.
    Papa-N allowed us to live those fantasies, then crushed them ignominiously and without mercy.
    Max died with a whimper, not a bang.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:15 No.17192843
         File1323731707.jpg-(204 KB, 949x999, NLO.jpg)
    204 KB
    Lean ork~!
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:15 No.17192848
         File1323731722.png-(159 KB, 288x499, why.png)
    159 KB
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:15 No.17192850
    rolled 7 = 7

    I..I..I don't know what to think...
    i think i need some time
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:16 No.17192864
    What the fuck did you idiots think would happen when you confessed?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:16 No.17192866
    Alright Papa, I'll bite. We'll be more careful next time.

    That Eldar bitch is on our hit list.
    And by hit I mean "Eat her out till mind-break"
    >> Servant Of The Emperor 12/12/11(Mon)18:16 No.17192869
    Meanwhile At the party...

    "H-Hey my lord?" You say as you tap on the shoulder of your God Emperor, "About that whole, no second chances thing?" 'ME! YOU'VE ONLY BEEN GONE LIKE TWO MINUTES!' "Can I get a mulligan?"
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:17 No.17192877
    . _.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:17 No.17192880
         File1323731862.jpg-(17 KB, 281x275, 1313374203769.jpg)
    17 KB
    I... I can't believe he's really gone.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:18 No.17192884
         File1323731885.jpg-(31 KB, 400x313, Minor_Scale_test_explosion.jpg)
    31 KB
    And then our head exploded from the barely contained warp energy when she cut off our head.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:18 No.17192890

    I feel more like cutting her by the inch while bashing her waystone with a hammer for her to see.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:18 No.17192891
    At first I was all like NOOOOOOOOOO

    Then I thought 'Lesbian action'

    And all was well in the world again
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:18 No.17192893
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:19 No.17192896
    Aw, bugger. I was hoping we were gonna be an Ork. I'm sure we'll reach our previous levels of awesome, though.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:19 No.17192900
    waystone encrusted wraithbone dildo?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:19 No.17192903
    How about we bring her, and all her friends. to a party.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:20 No.17192909
         File1323732006.jpg-(622 KB, 1200x1500, 1302201013219.jpg)
    622 KB
    Maybe Little bit of Ork-chan?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:20 No.17192911
    "the eldar are despicable aliens, untrustworthy and decadent" Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer, Damocles Gulf Edition, Chapter 5, Section 3.

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:20 No.17192914
    Only if they house her parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters...
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:20 No.17192919
         File1323732044.jpg-(106 KB, 611x716, 1314539186146.jpg)
    106 KB
    rolled 17 = 17

    Your killin me bro. Can that Eldar bitch at least die from a perils of the warp or some shit next time we see her
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:20 No.17192920
    You are retarded, what the hell did you think was going to happen when you told her that fucking story?
    >> Iron Lung 12/12/11(Mon)18:20 No.17192925
    Well struck.
    Head, right off shoulders.
    Alrighty, game on again.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:21 No.17192926
    Well that was a bad ending.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)18:21 No.17192934
    Sarah sighs as she flips through the schematic booklet "your lemon russ and you: 574 ways you can still serve the Emperor but make it a bit easier on yourself."

    "You know him, he probably got drunk and fucked the nearest officer or something retarded like that."

    Helena laughs, but it isn't sincere.

    "RAAAAA!!! You infernal machine spirit, accept this part damn you!" The Tech-priest working on the tank suddenly shouts, slamming his wrench into the tank repeatedly.

    "Yo! Gearhead! Easy on the goods!" Sarah shouts down at him.

    "BY THE OMNISSIAH YOU WILL TAKE THIS SENSOR AND YOU WILL LIKE IT!" He shoves the part in and the tank finally relents, a red light changing to a green.

    Helena laughs, Frederick's antics having grown on her a bit since meeting him.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:21 No.17192936
         File1323732111.jpg-(238 KB, 527x681, its_fucking_on_now_chaps.jpg)
    238 KB
    We have a word for that over here.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:21 No.17192937
    I didn't vote on that one.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:22 No.17192945
         File1323732148.jpg-(518 KB, 1033x933, 1298715525160.jpg)
    518 KB
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:23 No.17192954
    And then we break those one by one so their souls get doomed and the dildo get's sharp and edgy.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:23 No.17192961
    This archived yet?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:23 No.17192963
    I'm holding out that this is one massive trolling session right now. Please? ;_:
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:24 No.17192971
    If not trolling, we must defeat that eldar bitch.

    As in, after beating the shit out of her turning her over to chaos tainted tyranids who will rape her until her mind breaks and beyond.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:25 No.17192980
    If Yes: Oh you Papa
    If No: Sexy Lesbian Vendetta.

    I'm ok with this.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:25 No.17192983
         File1323732314.jpg-(403 KB, 600x900, Leanorkreloaded.jpg)
    403 KB
    Or Orkus T Ork
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:25 No.17192988
    It's not trolling, we're not invincible. You idiots told her what you should not have told her, it's like telling a black guy that you went to a Klan meeting and lynched a black guy.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:25 No.17192989
    then proceed to slowly smoke her soul...
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)18:26 No.17192995
         File1323732360.png-(63 KB, 510x545, Commander_Harry_Partridge.png)
    63 KB
    >trolling session

    Oh how I wish
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:26 No.17192996
    We must break her with our own hands, anon.

    This is the fucking Old Testament now. PILLARS OF MOTHERFUCKING SALT!
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:26 No.17193000
    I don't visit /tg/ for one day and you fuckers start smoking eldar souls and get decapitated and shit. God fucking damit, I wanted some filthy heretical ear sex.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:26 No.17193004
    >steers down path toward that
    I'm thinking papa wanted to end Max's quest.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:26 No.17193005
    Self delusions are the greatest of delusions!
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)18:27 No.17193007
    Her blade nicks your shoulder just enough to draw a faint line of blood. You know you can’t keep this up forever.
    But the stabs are becoming slower, less passionate, until they finally cease.

    Esh looks at you solemnly.

    “You may have not known what you were doing, and your intentions were surely misguided at best, but you did save those souls from a fate… Indescribable. And for that I’ll spare you, at least for today.”

    She sets her spear aside and sighs.

    “Honestly, I leave you alone for a while and you end up dead and in the warp. You really are just a helpless stupid mon-keigh after all.”

    You crouch there, on the floor of what you think is an Eldar ship or something, unsure of what to do next.

    “So you aren’t going to kill me?”

    Esh grabs you by the collar and throttles you back and forth.
    “Not today but the next time you do something like that I won’t be nice enough to stop myself!”

    She lets you go and before you know it, she’s got you in a tight hug.

    “I was really worried about you… Idiot mon-keigh…”

    A nearby Eldar, an older one from the looks of it, coughs quietly into her fist.

    “Mistress, your dinner?”

    Esh jumps to her feet and grabs her head.

    “Ahh! I forgot it was still in the wraithoven!”

    She grabs your hand and before you know it you are being pulled in a full on sprint through winding hallways, past more Eldar who look a bit shocked at the human in their midst.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:27 No.17193008
         File1323732445.jpg-(1.09 MB, 1700x1700, 1295397359128.jpg)
    1.09 MB
    But What if you were Bl....too....
    Never mind...
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:28 No.17193019
    >chose to answer the Tsunseer's call
    >chose to tell her what we did
    >chose to go willingly to her lair

    We made a series of poor choices.
    >> Iron Lung 12/12/11(Mon)18:28 No.17193024
    Hey, who has the right to make us responsible for our own foolish choices!?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:28 No.17193025
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:28 No.17193026
         File1323732512.jpg-(10 KB, 288x306, 1282680011976.jpg)
    10 KB
    >defeat doomrider
    >fight abbadon
    >get killed by eldar with spear
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:28 No.17193031
    rolled 20 = 20

    Relief, it is tangible
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:28 No.17193033
    but now i miss helena :{
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:29 No.17193035
         File1323732540.jpg-(49 KB, 600x444, It shall be magnificent.jpg)
    49 KB

    I said that we shouldn't tell her about smoking those souls, I told you! But no, it's a-okay, we should man up! Look what has happened! Everything is ruined forever!

    Also vendetta and sweet lesbian love. Yay!
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:29 No.17193036
         File1323732549.jpg-(286 KB, 746x547, 1301180490208.jpg)
    286 KB
    Darn it... He was trolling us....
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:29 No.17193037
    Papa...I love you...So much..
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:29 No.17193039
    I cannot decided whether to love you or hate you Papa, but whichever it is, you sir are a wonderful.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:29 No.17193041

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:29 No.17193044

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:30 No.17193058
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:30 No.17193059
    So, I guess that Someone Else. and Papa-N are the new Harbingers of /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:30 No.17193066
    Shouldn't an unprotected human get torn to shreds if they transverse the warp naked while holding onto a warp spider?

    I fear >>17193007 is just a sweet dream we see before being devoured by the great enemy :(
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:31 No.17193068
    Trolled into the warp
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:31 No.17193070
    I knew he was trolling us, but now I do too!
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:31 No.17193074
    Papa you...


    Also, Helena needs to become canon character. Side-quest/sequel quest?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:32 No.17193085
    Well to be fair since Max's now back in the Warp he can "court the fuck out of" some daemonettes.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:32 No.17193088
    Independent Characters are immune. Immune to headshots, too, which is why they don't wear helmets.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:33 No.17193095
         File1323732796.gif-(90 KB, 477x385, 1315335703875.gif)
    90 KB
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:33 No.17193100
    Set her up with Doomrider! Its the least we could do for the guy who saved our asses.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:35 No.17193116
    But she would never fall for any man other than her brother.
    >> Rubbish Soldier 12/12/11(Mon)18:36 No.17193139
    But she just... and he... and his sis.... you know what, never mind.... ima play street fight alpha 3 while i rap my head around this successful trolling...
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:38 No.17193151
    Implying Doomrider isn't an alternate universe max who traveled not only through dimensions but time to savor life.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:39 No.17193168
    What... What is this feeling?
    Is it oc?
    Is it... Old /tg/?
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)18:39 No.17193170

    I think I like her, she and the Partridges will both be making appearances.

    A young hot-shot looking Eldar stops Esh in her tracks.

    “Whoa babe, where you and that… uh… animal headed off to?” He asks, slyly trying to put his hand around her.

    Is this fag trying to move in on your bitch? He best be not moving in on your bitch.

    Before you can unleash the fury of the pimp hand, Esh kicks him.

    Right in his nuts.

    The blonde haired playboy’s face contorts in pain and he falls to the ground, clutching his gonads.

    “I already told you I have no interest, quit trying!” Esh kicks him in the stomach before stepping on him and leading you past.

    Once inside what you can only assume is an Eldar kitchen she hurridly rips open what must be the wraithoven and checks on what looks like a pie.

    “Oh thank the gods, it’s fine.” She sighs in relief and closes the oven back up.

    “Did you… Hug me earlier?” You finally get a chance to ask.

    Esh jumps in surprise as color drains from her face. She turns back to you, cheeks quickly becoming pink than red.

    “I-I-I did n-no such thing! Stupid mon-keigh!”

    You grin, this is so worth it.

    “Really? That felt like a hug. What do you use on your hair? It smells lovely.”

    You don’t have time to dodge the pan to the face, which startles you more than it hurts as it knocks you to the ground.

    “STUIPD MON-KEIGH IT WASN’T A HUG! GAHHH!” She punches a cabinet so hard it dents inward.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:40 No.17193173
    Leading to the possibility that, because of Emprah and Tees, Doomrider could be Emprahs son. Mind = blown.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:40 No.17193175
         File1323733237.jpg-(353 KB, 924x1022, 1299554103392.jpg)
    353 KB
    Implying that Doomrider is not the son of The Emperor and Tzeentch doing the same. (They named him Max too)
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:43 No.17193209
    >past more Eldar who look a bit shocked at the human in their midst.
    A human that could at any moment become a GATEWAY INTO THE WARP.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:46 No.17193246
    Damn straight We're an animal. Ask every girl in Imperial Collage. We had so many bitches, we had to open a dog shelter.

    Because they all had dogs, strangely enough. It was actually quite the coincidence.
    >> Iron Lung 12/12/11(Mon)18:48 No.17193277
    In this 40'verse, that only happens when it'd be funny or sexy.
    Any Nob knows dat!

    So, idea: I wonder if Tsundere behavior and being a Farseer don't blend together rather well. I was contemplating as too whether the root of Tsun wasn't her feeling imperiled by being out of control in a personal attraction. A kind of defensiveness fed by fear of too much intimacy. Not to try to make this gloriously lighthearted stuff serious at all, just a musing in case we do get a little more inside Eshe's head.

    Also, I'll delete some of my older posts to make room.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)18:48 No.17193284
    Naw but you guys really did die, it was a pretty epic trollgasm I'll admit.

    2nd Helena thread is probably wednesday or something.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:50 No.17193304
    Thanks for being a douchebag. I guess.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:50 No.17193306

    Wait so are dead or not..

    So confused...
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:51 No.17193313
         File1323733862.jpg-(251 KB, 685x933, Greenmarine 258.jpg)
    251 KB
    >Saw that going one way...

    >Then it went the other.

    >>I HAVE NO FACE! but here is a gift wrap Cultist-chan for you.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:51 No.17193315
         File1323733872.jpg-(111 KB, 631x598, 1304792459161.jpg)
    111 KB

    I don't think I can take this toying with my emotions.

    Max can't really be dead... not really really...

    can he?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:51 No.17193317
    rolled 3 = 3

    I don't know what to believe anymore
    >> !!NxhKH0Pdv6+ 12/12/11(Mon)18:51 No.17193318
    double-troll, but "wraithoven" kinda had me suspecting it

    we can still play with Max in the warp though, right?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:51 No.17193326
    OH no papa! You 'aint playing with my emotions this time! I'll only believe when I see it!
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:52 No.17193340
    >> Iron Lung 12/12/11(Mon)18:54 No.17193375
    Yeah, Double-Dribble-Trolling.
    3 mins on the bench.
    Change of possession, /tg/ gets to 2 Free Throws.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:55 No.17193381
         File1323734122.jpg-(6 KB, 426x304, 1295672507391.jpg)
    6 KB
    Hey, too much trolling can pass from funny to making people think you are a douche.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)18:55 No.17193383
    “Pretty sure it was a hug.” You continue, unwilling to relent.
    “AHHHHHHHHHH!” Esh grabs a pot of boiling something and stands above you, face blazing in embarrassed fury.

    You put your hands up, as though they would do anything. This might do more than sting a little.

    But when you peel one eye open to look back at her, Esh sighs and sets down the dish.

    “So it was a hug. You should be grateful I blessed your life with such an event, surely the high point of its dullness.”

    Well you can be satisfied you got her to admit to it, at least for now.

    “Anyways, what have you got cooking?” You ask, leaning over her shoulder to look at what’s in the pot.

    Esh’s mind is stuttering, she’s so close to you now. “Do those lips taste as good his mind?” she wonders to herself.

    You look down, noticing Esh staring intently straight at your mouth.

    “Uhh… Esh?”

    She catches herself and spins around, pretending to be occupied by a sizzling wok-like thing.

    As much fun as you are having with Esh at the moment, trolling her hard and all that, the food smells so good you can barely stop yourself from ripping into it.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:56 No.17193400
         File1323734217.jpg-(63 KB, 461x393, 1313432369612.jpg)
    63 KB
    Dis nigga. Continue my good man
    >> !!NxhKH0Pdv6+ 12/12/11(Mon)18:57 No.17193407
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:58 No.17193417
    I can't handle this anymore
    >> Iron Lung 12/12/11(Mon)18:58 No.17193421
    Meal Benediction: "For the living, may they ever know peace and splendor, and for the lost, may they ever know a home in our hearts. Emperor Bless."
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:58 No.17193422
    Guys. I have it.

    Papa is Tzneetch.

    Just as planned.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:58 No.17193431
    You know, this has made me think of a good question. Why would she even care if we smoked Eldar souls? I mean, really, unless she personally knew some of the elfdars in that particular soul-joint I don't see why she would be so up in arms.

    I mean, we never got on her case for killing thousands of humans in long ranged plots that won't come to fruition for a thousand years. But you know she's done it.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:59 No.17193437
         File1323734348.jpg-(27 KB, 552x442, indeed-well-played-good-sir.jpg)
    27 KB
    Now never do it again.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)18:59 No.17193448
         File1323734382.jpg-(14 KB, 407x286, 1295658031801.jpg)
    14 KB
    >that feel when huehuehuehue is just getting confusing now
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:00 No.17193453
    So did Max just see what she was thinking? Or was that knowledge we are privy to, while Max is unaware?
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)19:01 No.17193467
    Esh looks back at you.

    “Hey, mon-keigh, you are DROOLING.”

    You put your jaw back into place, senses still fixed on the delicious food before you.

    Esh uses what you assume has to be some kind of Eldar cooking fork to gather up a little ball of what appears to be some kind of noodle-onion-meat dish.

    “You… You can try it if you want…” She says, still not looking at you as she holds out the food.

    Slowly you lean in to take a bite, watching her intently for any sign of Eldar trickery. The closer you get, the harder she blushes.

    You bite down and slowly back away, her eyes turn to follow you.

    This taste… Dear Emprah this taste.

    “So… Good…” Is all you can manage, your taste buds are busy in a full blown fiesta. “Hola mister Max, thank you very much for da food senior!”

    Esh is now locked right on you, watching your expression with wide eyes.

    “It’s probably the best thing I’ve ever tasted.”

    You see her smile giddily before catching herself and regaining her cool composure.

    “Yeah well, you haven’t even tried the pie yet.”
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:02 No.17193479
    Must have been Max's new warp powers. Eldar emotions are so strong they broadcast and Max picks them up now. So any strong elfdar feelings are transmitted directly into Max's brain.

    Oh god, imagine the sex. It would be mindblowing.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:04 No.17193497
         File1323734659.png-(189 KB, 482x600, Yayifications.png)
    189 KB

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:04 No.17193504
         File1323734683.jpg-(84 KB, 780x629, I say shark.jpg)
    84 KB
    “Yeah well, you haven’t even tried the pie yet.”
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:04 No.17193505
    Literally possibly.

    Also, any other questline you do should at some point corrupted tyranids with an obsession with tentacles and probing orfices.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:04 No.17193507
    I feel my starship docking... but i also feel the droppod enter the atmosphere... whoa dude.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:05 No.17193513
         File1323734728.gif-(11 KB, 730x413, 1301357788873.gif)
    11 KB
    Makes a surprising amount of sense...
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:05 No.17193520
         File1323734748.png-(29 KB, 184x199, -_- 42.png)
    29 KB
    >mfw MY MIND
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:06 No.17193532

    Someone should slap you for that joke, but anyways...

    I vote our next line to be "Normally I would say something cute about 'pie' there, but if it is anywhere near as tasty as what you just gave me I'll... Holy fuck just give me some more food."
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:06 No.17193533
         File1323734796.jpg-(59 KB, 640x480, vulnerable.jpg)
    59 KB

    Awwwww Yeaaaaahhhh

    Come for the tsun, stay for the dere.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)19:07 No.17193539
    “Really? Does it taste as good as MY MIND?”

    Esh’s face becomes ashen at your words, and her mouth is agape as though she’s struggling to find something to say, having been caught completely off guard.

    “Yeah, I can pick up on some things now. At least a bit.” You admit, your new power is fun but very confusing and completely unreliable. It seems like proximity might have something to do with it, because you could only sense her thoughts when you were very close to her.

    Esh picks up a knife and her head cracks as it tilts to the side, her eyes now alight with glowing white energy.

    “I’m going to kill you now.” She says flatly.

    Roll for reflex save
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:07 No.17193547
         File1323734866.jpg-(31 KB, 484x321, pi.jpg)
    31 KB
    That's right, I know your argument before you even say it.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:08 No.17193549
    rolled 10 = 10

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:08 No.17193553
    rolled 19 = 19

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:08 No.17193556
    rolled 13 = 13

    Fuck! Fuck!
    >> Dice+1d20 Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:08 No.17193562
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:09 No.17193564
    Yay i rolled good.
    >> Rubbish Soldier 12/12/11(Mon)19:09 No.17193566
    Roll 13 = 13
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:09 No.17193567
    rolled 4 = 4

    >> Iron Lung 12/12/11(Mon)19:09 No.17193568
    Oh. Fuck.
    We took that last corner a little too fast.
    Note to Us, if we survive: The Emperor has left the building.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:09 No.17193572
    Oh thank god!
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:10 No.17193574
    I'm too tired.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:10 No.17193579
    rolled 12 = 12


    Oh my, the pie is a lie, too?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:10 No.17193581
    rolled 19 = 19

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:11 No.17193583
    Go to sleep cutie :3
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:11 No.17193586
    Oh Yes
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:11 No.17193588
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:11 No.17193589
    Huh. Should've used one of Protection ones. Whoops.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:11 No.17193596
    rolled 13 = 13

    Far too tired.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:12 No.17193600
    We are now chaos tainted right?

    Does that mean we can spring out tentacles and rape in every orfice?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:12 No.17193602
    really dude?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:13 No.17193616
    rolled 1 = 1

    Nat 1 incoming.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:13 No.17193621
    Fuck this bitch.

    Seriously, we need to either rape the shit out of her, turn her over to horny tyranids or bash her skull in and get back to our base to resume the adventure next time.

    Crazy eldar is crazy.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:14 No.17193622
    Fuck you!
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:14 No.17193633
    mother fucker
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:14 No.17193638
    Call shot.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:14 No.17193643
    rolled 9 = 9

    ...Why would you do this!
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:14 No.17193644
    Oh god my sides!
    >> !!NxhKH0Pdv6+ 12/12/11(Mon)19:14 No.17193645
    >roll 1d1
    clever, almost
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:15 No.17193647
         File1323735308.jpg-(46 KB, 926x432, Whyyy.jpg)
    46 KB

    >mfw he's right.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:15 No.17193648
         File1323735311.jpg-(81 KB, 683x476, just_as_planned.jpg)
    81 KB
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:15 No.17193650
         File1323735340.jpg-(113 KB, 640x359, 4.jpg)
    113 KB
    Did you put it in so it was 1+1?

    Your 1 is outweighed by the 19s however
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:17 No.17193676
    rolled 1 + 20 = 21

    pay me no mind.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:17 No.17193677
    dice+1d20 in e-mail field
    It's legit.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:17 No.17193678
    What is with this bitch?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:17 No.17193683
    I guess we are going to play Helena now.
    I'm not even angry at Esh.
    People don't know when to stop
    >> !!NxhKH0Pdv6+ 12/12/11(Mon)19:18 No.17193685
    rolled 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 = 20

    lesse if I can get a nat 20 on 20d1
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:18 No.17193689
    > one roll of 1
    >like 3 19s.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)19:18 No.17193690
    But as she swings the knife down you catch her hand and with your other arm pull her in close to you.

    The blade falls from her grasp and clatters noisily to the floor.
    She looks up, staring into your eyes as you hold her there, neither of you moving.

    “…Max…” She says quietly as you slowly bring your face closer to hers. Your lips are mere millimeters apart, and you feel Esh jump slightly as your minds collide.

    “HAHAHA MON-KEIGH KISSER! MON-KEIGH KISSSSERRRRR!!!!” A little Eldar in farseer garb, no taller than your waist is running in circles around the table as she joyfully repeats herself.


    Esh’s eyes flash and the little Eldar is sent flying out of the room with one last “MON-KEIGH

    Esh furiously slams the door and begins stirring her personal recipe stew in a fit of rage.

    Wait, did she really want you to kiss her?

    Eyeing the wall of hanging knives mere inches from her, you aren’t sure if it’s a good idea to press the subject.

    “Take a seat, it’s almost ready.” Esh says without looking back at you.

    [ ] Sit down

    [ ] We must go deeper

    [ ] Steal another taste of food
    >> !!NxhKH0Pdv6+ 12/12/11(Mon)19:19 No.17193703
    rolled 1 = 1

    huh, nat 1
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:19 No.17193704
    rolled 11 = 11

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:19 No.17193706
    >people don't know when to stop
    What, you mean rolling?
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)19:19 No.17193716
         File1323735593.jpg-(49 KB, 345x445, 1315782893846.jpg)
    49 KB
    >busy writing
    >miss the nat1

    You guys got lucky THIS TIME
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:19 No.17193717
    >hiding 1d1 with noko
    oh you
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:20 No.17193719
    rolled 2 = 2

    [X] Take a seat
    Lets not push this any further, she seems a tad...unstable
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:20 No.17193721
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:20 No.17193723
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:20 No.17193725
    Look, Papa-N, you and I both know that we've learned nothing from today's events.

    [x] We have to go deeper.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:20 No.17193728
    >[x] Sit down
    Ok, time to calm the fuck down, we have been pressing our luck like mad cunts lately.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:20 No.17193730
    Take a fucking Sit, We just escaped death the second time now
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:21 No.17193733
    It's a cook book... IT'S A COOK BOOK.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:21 No.17193736
    rolled 9 = 9

    [X ] Steal another taste of food
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:21 No.17193742
    [ ] Sit down
    [ ] Steal another taste of food
    Either or... man im hungry.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:21 No.17193744
    Take a motherfucking seat, we avoided death 3 times with her, it's better not to get killed and have emps get pissed.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:21 No.17193745
         File1323735709.png-(156 KB, 399x343, 1315489041526.png)
    156 KB
    What, are we going to critical fail at sitting now? jesus fuck.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:22 No.17193751
    [X] Check that all doors are closed and locked.

    [X] Initiate hug-from-behind maneuver and commence "Operation Mon-keigh Kissah"
    >> !!NxhKH0Pdv6+ 12/12/11(Mon)19:22 No.17193754
    rolled 4 = 4

    [ ] we need more vespene gas, dig deeper "the food is delicious, but... there's someone else that I like better"
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:22 No.17193755
    SRS GUYS just take it easy now dont give him the excuse to troll
    [X] Sit down
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:22 No.17193759

    [x] Sit down

    This might help not getting us killed again for the next minute.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:23 No.17193778
    [X] Sit down
    >> !!NxhKH0Pdv6+ 12/12/11(Mon)19:23 No.17193784
    rolled 1 = 1

    I give my 4 to this guy
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:23 No.17193786
    >implying I mind the trolling

    Trying to prevent Papa-N from trolling would be like...like playing Silent Hill with the lights on.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:24 No.17193787
    The dice gods just don't favor you tonight, huh?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:24 No.17193792
    rolled 1 = 1

    Remove the 1d1 + noko YOU FOOL!
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:24 No.17193798
    Stop right there,
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:24 No.17193799
    I thought you weighed all the rolls.
    >> !!NxhKH0Pdv6+ 12/12/11(Mon)19:25 No.17193803
    rolled 4 = 4

    I'm best with d6s and only during a wargame, the dice never like me otherwise
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:25 No.17193810
    rolled 14 = 14

    Dice gods got this
    [X] Sit down
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:26 No.17193818
    Too much in this thread though.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:26 No.17193830
    rolled 15 = 15

    [ ] We must go deeper
    >> Iron Lung 12/12/11(Mon)19:26 No.17193832
         File1323736009.jpg-(50 KB, 444x366, love thread.jpg)
    50 KB
    >> !!NxhKH0Pdv6+ 12/12/11(Mon)19:27 No.17193840
    rolled 8 = 8

    nup, after -703 I've been rolling d20's and they're aimless as well, I'm too lazy to turn the roller off
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:28 No.17193847
    >we went from battling with abbadon and jousting with doomrider to being some loony eldars bitch.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:28 No.17193852
    Steal another bite, then sit down.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:29 No.17193866
    rolled 6 = 6

    >mfw this is our most dangerous adventure.

    You know what
    fuck this shit
    We will go deeper
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:30 No.17193875
    hush, you. she'll be OUR bitch after we get her pregnant.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:30 No.17193877
    rolled 18 = 18

    [X] Sit don
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:31 No.17193896
    With the way this thread has been going we will fail a dice roll and rip our own intestines out with our dick. That or get trolled again.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)19:32 No.17193906
    You pull out a chair and sit down.

    Only you miss and, arms wind milling madly, fall face first onto the cold tile.

    Esh looks back at you in disgusted awe, as if she really can’t believe what she’s seeing.

    “Uhh, missed it I guess…” Your face is burning, how the fuck did you fail that hard at sitting down? How have you managed to go from cool and suave to looking like a complete retard within minutes of each other.

    “Whatever you have to tell yourself…” Esh turns back to her cooking, shaking her head in disbelief.

    Still, you aren’t going to let the fact that you are still rolling when completely unprompted, which only ever results in terrible, terrible things, get to you.

    The food smells absolutely decadent, you’ve got a cute farseer cooking it for you, and you actually think you might have had some fun surfing with the Emprah earlier, despite the close call. Yeah, today is a pretty good day.

    Esh looks like she’s found some kind of groove, humming to herself quietly as she adds a dash of one thing and a sprinkle of another.

    “Dude I can’t take this anymore” Your stomach groans.

    “Shut up man, at least you know you have a guaranteed thing here!” Your Inquisitor responds.

    Esh finally decides it’s all ready and starts moving everything over to the table.

    You can’t contain yourself any longer, and you reach out to snatch up one of those Eldar biscuits, the kind she gave to you the first time.

    A ladle raps you hard on the knuckles.

    “A proper gentleman always waits until the lady sits down first.” She says, though her anger seems faked. Her eyes unable to conceal the pride in her work and her excitement in sharing it with you.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:33 No.17193914
    acually we are either recruiting a mole in the eldar craftworld or we are expanding harem +1 and either one is ayok! especially since 1 also includes 2.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:33 No.17193918
    rolled 4 + 8 = 12

    [X] Sit down
    No pushing our luck this time
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:34 No.17193928
    [X] Sit your ass down
    We're still wounded from being cut up by her earlier, no need to be dodging knives again.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:34 No.17193937
         File1323736491.jpg-(264 KB, 887x734, slowrasque.jpg)
    264 KB
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:34 No.17193938
    Well to be fair neither Abaddon or ourselves were expecting that and with Doomrider there is no telling what he was on at the time that could have messed him up. Are we a sexy beast? Yes. But more importantly we are still little more than an average Guardsman who may have some Psyker abilities.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:35 No.17193943
         File1323736528.png-(73 KB, 165x190, 1310938323112.png)
    73 KB

    >Still, you aren’t going to let the fact that you are still rolling when completely unprompted, which only ever results in terrible, terrible things, get to you.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:35 No.17193944
         File1323736529.jpg-(32 KB, 257x212, 1315968066061.jpg)
    32 KB
    >you are still rolling when completely unprompted, which only ever results in terrible, terrible things.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:35 No.17193945
    >Still, you aren’t going to let the fact that you are still rolling when completely unprompted, which only ever results in terrible, terrible things, get to you.

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:36 No.17193962
         File1323736594.jpg-(22 KB, 280x210, beandog.jpg)
    22 KB
    >applying any sort of rational logic to this scenario
    I know this is /tg/ but seriously man? Just roll with it.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:36 No.17193963
         File1323736595.jpg-(74 KB, 496x600, 1295566483025.jpg)
    74 KB
    Is this Max?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:36 No.17193967
    The reality of our current status is still awesome, except the nat1's... STOP DOING THAT, WHOEVER!
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:38 No.17193985
    Well shit.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:39 No.17194003
    I guess this applys to that guy with the trip who kept rolling even when not choosing anything?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:40 No.17194011
    rolled 4 = 4

    rolling for perils of the warp
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:40 No.17194012
    rolled 7 = 7

    rolling to remember to breathe
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:41 No.17194020
    rolled 18 = 18

    Rolling for the sake of ruining stuff.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:41 No.17194034

    papa-n, please ignore them.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:43 No.17194050
    rolled 13 = 13

    skill check: sitting in a chair
    modifiers: +1 not in combat, +1 blessed by the Emprah, -1 cute girl cooking, -1 hungry, -2 incredibly horny
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:44 No.17194057
    Why do I keep getting the feeling that she has a penis?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:44 No.17194061
    rolled 13 = 13

    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)19:44 No.17194065
    The wait is killing you, but you don’t try any funny business as you watch her finish the setup.

    She moves around the table to you and takes your plate, dishing out a generous heap of everything onto it.

    You can’t help but smile as you watch her, completely in her element it seems.

    Esh catches you staring out of the corner of her eye and turns away from you, her flowing red hair slightly obstructing her face but not hiding her faint smile.

    “D-Don’t stare at me like that, it’s embarrassing.”

    She serves herself before taking the seat opposite you, not very far away on such a small table.

    Both of you chow down, Esh eating properly and daintily, you kinda just fork-lifting heaping forkfuls of the food into your joyous mouth.

    “Oh man, this is simply THE BEST.” Your stomach sighs happily.

    “Ah well, at least I can see up her skirt from down here.” The curious Inquisitor responds. “Black lace with a pink bow, things might be looking up after all.”

    Suddenly, you can’t breathe.

    Your face goes white as you frantically struggle, choking on something.

    Esh takes several seconds to realize what is going on, but with surprising speed she has you in a Heimlich.

    It takes a few pumps, but you finally shoot out a whole meatball. It soars brilliantly straight down into a bowl of soup, which splashes all over Esh’s face.

    “Gods damn it, mon-keigh…”
    >> Iron Lung 12/12/11(Mon)19:44 No.17194067
    hee hee hee
    Roll for dangerous terrain!
    Actually not, but s'cool. =D
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:45 No.17194075

    Well, seems like it is time to get that soup off her face. Activate tongue.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:46 No.17194077
    >putting a whole meatball in mouth
    What the fuck
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:46 No.17194080
    I think our psy powers gave our dick eyes.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:48 No.17194103
    Yeah, what's with this. Have our primary sensory organs started developing a consciousness? Maybe that whole fling with the demons managed to imbue our Inquisitor with some inquisitory powers of his own.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:48 No.17194106
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:48 No.17194108
         File1323737319.jpg-(54 KB, 599x449, Nigga 1.jpg)
    54 KB
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:49 No.17194114
    Wait, have we just failed a roll on EATING?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:49 No.17194120
    i usually pick up 3-4 per load :[
    but then again im swedish... and hungry.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:49 No.17194121
         File1323737367.jpg-(45 KB, 220x700, 1322393830925.jpg)
    45 KB
    >i can see up her skirt form here
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)19:49 No.17194124
    Esh sighs as she surveys herself, one of her favorite outfits and much of her hair now covered in chunky soup.

    “Err… Really sorry about that…” Fuck, you would wreck this for yourself.

    She tries to clean herself up with a napkin, but it just isn’t cutting it.

    “I kinda figured you would ruin this…” She unhappily drops the napkin.

    “I’m going to go wash off and change. Enjoy your meal alone, I guess.”

    She leaves before you can say anything. Man, do you feel like a douche now.

    [ ] Chase after her

    [ ] Eat alone
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:50 No.17194136
    [ ] Chase after her
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:50 No.17194139
    That's not disgusting.

    Thats pig disgusting.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:51 No.17194143
    >Chase after her
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:51 No.17194146
    [X] Chase

    Might as well die again, on the other hand we might introduce her to our one eyed commisar
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:51 No.17194147
    [x] CHASE.

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:51 No.17194156
    Chase after her eating.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:52 No.17194158
    you are not blessed with my mouth.
    nor do you eat the same size of meatballs. derp.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:52 No.17194159
    [X] Chase her down
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:52 No.17194161
         File1323737523.png-(93 KB, 677x335, MAXIMUMTROLL.png)
    93 KB
    Dem Trolls man
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:52 No.17194168
         File1323737544.jpg-(97 KB, 600x600, IG_Commissar-hat.jpg)
    97 KB
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:52 No.17194169
    Bitch has been nothing but trouble, attempted murder and meanness.

    Chase after her, rape with our sentient chaos imbdued cock.
    Actually, if our dick is chaos powered now can it corrupt her?
    >> Iron Lung 12/12/11(Mon)19:52 No.17194171
    [ ] Eat alone.

    Let's give her some space. And clean up the table while she's taking her time. Maybe make some tea for her.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:53 No.17194181
         File1323737604.jpg-(133 KB, 990x773, box dog is observing.jpg)
    133 KB
    rolled 14 = 14

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:53 No.17194185
    >[x] Chase after her
    Fuck, I have to get up from bed in four hours
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:53 No.17194189
    You are a mon-kiegh on an eldar ship. Don't you dare leave that fucking room or the first eldar you meet is going to cut you in two.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:53 No.17194190
    we are teh starving.
    I'm just sayin'
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:53 No.17194191
    [X] Eat Alone
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:53 No.17194193
    rolled 5 = 5

    [x] Detach now sentient penis, javelin throw
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:54 No.17194206
    >you are now picturing max having a purple throbbing penis like the one you can get in Corruption of Champions
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:54 No.17194212
    rolled 8 = 8

    lemme help you with that
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:55 No.17194217
    Eat alone. Max can come up with a plan in the meanwhile.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:55 No.17194219
    Stop fucking rolling, that is why this happened.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:55 No.17194221
    This thread went downhill fast.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:56 No.17194224
    Chase after her
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:56 No.17194226
         File1323737794.png-(246 KB, 576x432, 1252541631874.png)
    246 KB
    I'm not sure if this is good or bad
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:56 No.17194231
    It usually does but it acts as some kind of idiot sponge for the rest of /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:56 No.17194232
    >[x] Detach now sentient penis, javelin throw
    Hahaha, Smooth!
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:56 No.17194233
    Have you read any of the archived threads?
    >implying Papa-N doesn't just troll us for the sake of trolling, irregardless of rolls
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:57 No.17194242
    Stop samefagging and go to bed.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:58 No.17194249
    Hasen't trolled on this scale before though.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:58 No.17194257
    [x]Chase after here
    interrupt her changing
    deredere time
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:58 No.17194260
    He's making up for the last two troll free ones
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)19:59 No.17194267
    We did this before, tsuntsun time ensued
    She was pissed.
    [x] Eat Alone
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)19:59 No.17194269
    “Arrrgghhh!!!” You grab your head.

    “I can’t just eat without apologizing!”

    So with that, you leap up and run after her.

    Only you aren’t exactly sure what way she went.

    Several minutes pass of your “Hey uh, did you see a farseer go by here, bout this tall and covered in soup?” before you finally figure out which room is hers.

    It takes you just as long to discern how the door mechanism works, a series of buttons and a touch screen thing. You finally punch it in frustration and it answers “passcode accepted”, though you don’t know this because you don’t speak Eldar.

    You walk in to the dark room, which is incredibly tidy.
    Well, except for the pile of clothes that Esh was just wearing.

    “Oh no. No no no.”

    Too late, another door in the room opens and your fate is pretty much sealed.

    Esh stands there, fully outlined in the light beyond. She’s still dripping wet, and frozen in place, the towel against one side of her face. You can see everything, perky pink nips, smooth grassless field, everything.

    “I’m going to die now, aren’t I?”

    “Painfully so.”
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:00 No.17194277
    rolled 6 = 6

    >Not turning her into your personal sex slave
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:00 No.17194282
    This isn't even fair. Fuck you buddy.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:00 No.17194288
    rolled 2 = 2

    Let me get that for you
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:01 No.17194294
    rolled 5 = 5

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:01 No.17194299
    Stop rolling.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:01 No.17194306
    You know what.
    Fuck you papa N
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:02 No.17194313
    "Look hun I'm crazy sorry, I came back to apologize for being a total goof. Didn't mean to.. Er, catch you like this. This probably looks quite bad. But yeah. Unintended. Sorry! Sorry, sorry."
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:02 No.17194315
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:02 No.17194316
    rolled 6 = 6

    Now we DO need to roll untill we get a 20 to undo the damage done
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:02 No.17194317
    "I came to apologise, I suppose that doesn't matter now"
    >> Iron Lung 12/12/11(Mon)20:02 No.17194322
    The Emperor's gonna be tired of our Mulligan-Mooching ass soon enough.

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:02 No.17194323
         File1323738171.jpg-(70 KB, 533x800, 1295769516570.jpg)
    70 KB
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:02 No.17194326
    rolled 15 = 15

    if we're going to die, die like men!

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:03 No.17194329
    >die die die die die
    What is with this lady? Annoying as fuck. I mean she did invite max there after all.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:03 No.17194333
    rolled 12 = 12

    Invoke the powers of your demonhost comrade lucious, so that when she kills you, she becomes you. victory for slaanesh!
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:03 No.17194335
         File1323738206.jpg-(27 KB, 380x600, minsc.jpg)
    27 KB
    rolled 1 = 1

    Get our dick inside her to calm her down.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:03 No.17194336
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:03 No.17194338
    GOOD ENOUGH! no more rolls!
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:03 No.17194340
    rolled 6 = 6

    Roll for awesome
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:04 No.17194346
    No Noko guys
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:04 No.17194349
    rolled 2 = 2

    You have my dice!
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:04 No.17194353
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:04 No.17194359
         File1323738285.jpg-(12 KB, 300x244, 1252547574469.jpg)
    12 KB
    Dis gon be good
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:05 No.17194365
    rolled 18 = 18

    Roll for awesome
    (nokoless edition)
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:05 No.17194367
    If Max is dead when I wake up in a few hours, Im going to kill. You. All.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:05 No.17194373
    rolled 3 = 3

    Grab the towl off the floor, hand it to her, say we're sorry and simply wanted to apologise.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:05 No.17194375
         File1323738325.jpg-(15 KB, 145x172, 1323129582594.jpg)
    15 KB

    If there is any hope left, this might be the moment to speak up.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:05 No.17194377
         File1323738335.jpg-(107 KB, 600x354, teemorape.jpg)
    107 KB
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:05 No.17194379
    rolled 6 = 6

    You know what
    i don't care
    rolling to kiss her
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:05 No.17194380
         File1323738352.jpg-(35 KB, 500x367, ziderman.jpg)
    35 KB
    It's as of fate is trying to kill max.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:06 No.17194390
    Papa, ignore the 2 guys ruining this. There is only 2 of them rolling.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:06 No.17194391
    rolled 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 = 25

    It's a noko roll. I can roll 1s that way all day long.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:06 No.17194398
    Well, guess we lose our dick now. My bad.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:06 No.17194402
         File1323738408.jpg-(4 KB, 177x278, 1319696334414.jpg)
    4 KB
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)20:07 No.17194405

    Man, people seem pretty mad tonight for some reason.

    You tense up as she builds up speed for a running death-kick which will surely knock your face through the back of your skull.

    She’s going so fast, in fact, that she doesn’t notice the clothes on the floor.

    “Huh?!” She trips, stumbles, but can’t regain her balance.
    You are thrown backwards as the naked farseer crashes into you, both of you tumbling end over end across the dark room.
    Finally both of you skid to a stop, and it looks like you’ve managed to come out on top.

    Esh is trembling, wide eyed, and has her arms around you. Neither of you move for what feels like a very long time.
    Throwing caution to the wind, you lower your face and plant a kiss on those tender pink lips.

    “HA HA, MON KEIGH KISSERRRRRR!” The little Eldar yells from the open doorway.

    Probably calling the quest here for the night, I'm hungry as fuck and all this trollan has been pretty exhausting. My girlfriend and her mom are showing up any minute with some HUEHUEHUE food.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:07 No.17194407
    Crying out loud this is boring as fuck.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:07 No.17194408
         File1323738442.jpg-(38 KB, 400x528, EjectionSeats-New-01.jpg)
    38 KB
    New strategy proposal.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:07 No.17194409
    rolled 16 = 16

    Perhaps maybe I can make a difference?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:07 No.17194416
    Well, worse case we die and go to the warp to live with our daemon girls. Not perfect, but not bad
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:07 No.17194417
    rolled 8 = 8

    You know what?

    She is wet. Were fishermen.

    You know the drill, nokoless edition.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:08 No.17194432
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:08 No.17194435
    You overtrolled. Drives people away when too much of it happens.
    >> Iron Lung 12/12/11(Mon)20:09 No.17194436
    Ok: she's a Tsun. She's proud. She takes incredible pride in her cooking -which we ruined.
    She values her dignity -which we're assaulting.
    She's probably getting some social flack for Grooming the Monkey -and we just humiliated her further with every person we asked for directions.
    I don't think there's much more we can do wrong -maybe we can wipe our ass one her spear.
    If Papa N is at all actually rail-roading anything, it's our greatly undeserved success.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:09 No.17194445
    We need to kill and/or kiss that kid
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:10 No.17194450
    Oh please. Stop whining.
    >> Iron Lung 12/12/11(Mon)20:10 No.17194451
    Thanks again, Papa N.
    Inspite of any disruptions, t'was great fun.
    And Helena! Huzzah! =D
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:11 No.17194454
    Worst thread so far bro. I regret sticking around.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:11 No.17194458
    I think people are taking this very very very silly quest a tad too serious
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:12 No.17194463
    >ruined for no reason
    >those dice rolls when there were no checks don't count
    Pretty much our failures were railroaded if anything.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:12 No.17194464
    rolled 11 = 11

    Could we get a 'When' on next session? same time thursday? also all my internets you clever, dashing bastard.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:13 No.17194477
    rolled 8 = 8

    I hope it's Feijoada bro.
    as a HUEHUEHUEHUE-ean, feijoada is pretty much one of the best brazillian foods
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:14 No.17194485
    HUEHUEHUE is great but a good quarter to half of the thread is HUEHUEHUE trolling.

    Also what was up with those failures at the end.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:14 No.17194487
         File1323738874.jpg-(75 KB, 1253x659, Eldar Cheerleaders.jpg)
    75 KB

    Everything is forgiven. Next time, less trolling, more self-ownage, please (because we WILL roll this nat1).
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:15 No.17194492
         File1323738902.jpg-(3 KB, 100x100, 1321501069318.jpg)
    3 KB

    >>17194408 here, never mind.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)20:15 No.17194495
    I'm waiting on a call from work for my schedule, but I'm thinking hopefully Wednesday at 4pm or something.

    They didn't tell me what they were bringing, but her mom is a god-tier chef so it doesn't much matter.
    >> Iron Lung 12/12/11(Mon)20:15 No.17194496
    >>This just in:
    Anon Reports Truth Still Painful.

    Some truth to this and it stings. This story is compelling, that makes objectivity a struggle.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:17 No.17194506
    Because this has become people's self-insert power fantasy now.
    Anything that doesn't involve an entire thread of Max's inquisitor purging thousands of bitches in a row with no challenge whatsoever is a problem for them now.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)20:19 No.17194523
    the failures are because everyone keeps rolling all the time which is just too much trollbait for me to ignore and I only ever do troll on those unprompted nat1s.

    I had to troll hard this thread, I haven't really done ANY for the last two. Though if it is too much I suppose I can tone it down, I thought it was fun at least.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:21 No.17194544
    Pretty sure you drove away at least some people.
    And at least some of those rolls were trolls baiting you.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:22 No.17194548
    rolled 16 = 16

    Hey, if we bleed you can kill us.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:22 No.17194557
    What? Dude, Max didn't even get any action until the 5th thread, 3rd I you count the Tau.

    Papa-N just needs to save the trolling for after-hours or for when we done fucked up.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:22 No.17194558
         File1323739362.png-(66 KB, 1600x1600, Only Mildly Retarded.png)
    66 KB

    It's alright, it just shouldn't result in our death everytime someone rolls a 1. Else, I really enjoy your threads! Thank you.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:24 No.17194577
    Papa-N, you're a good storyteller, but i guess people got too attached to Max(myself included).
    anyway this thread made me realize that this is just a fun & silly quest thread, i'll try to take less serious.
    Apologizes for any rude behavior
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:25 No.17194580
    You do realize that the vast majority of those were trolls trolling you?

    You got trollceptioned, you thought you were trolling but were getting trolled in turn.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)20:25 No.17194584
    Yeah I was afraid it might be too much to handle, but this has never been a serious thread in the least.

    I probably do over-use the "you dun died" but any time I'm trolling it's generally because I'm thinking of what's next. The majority of these posts are written right-than with only ideas I've put down on my droid if I've had any beforehand.

    I apologize if I've rustled anyone's jimmies TOO-hard.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:26 No.17194594
         File1323739616.jpg-(53 KB, 480x360, sp_0513_09_v6.jpg)
    53 KB

    "Why would Papa-N let Max die, Chef?"

    "So he can drink the sweet milk of our tears! You see, it's our tears that give Papa-N his great power."
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)20:27 No.17194595
    no I knew, its just impossible to stop the rape train
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:27 No.17194596
    You'r a great writer but I have to say this thread was somewhat boring.

    I mean half was mostly trolling, you getting trolled by rolling trolls and us eating dinner.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:29 No.17194614
    rolled 12 = 12

    don't worry Papa-N, we're very entertained. don't put too much thought into it, and have fun! Ignore the aspies who are getting all worked up.
    >> Iron Lung 12/12/11(Mon)20:39 No.17194696
    Bahahaahaha, well put.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:40 No.17194702
    i don't know why everyone is so mad. then again i only lurked and read all of the story posts. so i enjoyed the thread but whatever i guess...
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:41 No.17194714
    A combination of HUHEUHEUHEU, bad rolls and people who love Max
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)20:43 No.17194725
    I cracked a smile.

    Frederick looks up from his work, sneakily.

    Helena sits there in full view, glorious tits resting on the tank as she listens to some music and tans.

    He's always had a thing for her. Ever since he started fixing up their tank. This, despite all of his friends telling him she is clearly a gear-eater with no interest in his piston of love.

    Frederick sighs heavily as he tightens a bolt. For now, he will probably just have to be content with watching her in all her giggling, strawberry blonde beauty.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:45 No.17194744
    rolled 2 = 2

    Poor Frederick.
    You will get her someday
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)20:48 No.17194773
    "Whats wrong Mekboy?" Helena suddenly calls down to him.

    Fredrick, startled, looks back up.

    "Err, nothing. Tank is just being stubborn, is all." He wrings his wrench nervously.

    Helena laughs and re-ties her top before sitting up, which causes those tantalizing flesh orbs to bounce all over the place.

    "Well you want to take a break and go grab some chow with me?" She asks, swinging her feet idly as she sits on the barrel.

    "You? And... Me?" Frederick asks quietly.

    "Yeah, Sarah is passed out."
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)20:50 No.17194792
    You go tiger!
    Max will approve your relationship
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)20:58 No.17194860
    Frederick is happy but lost as he follows Helena to wherever she is taking him. Clearly not the mess hall.

    The Omnissiah has blessed him this day, maybe he will get a chance to try out his twelve speed servo-actuated cyborghood someday after all.

    Helena shifts the pack of food to her other shoulder.

    "Cmon iron man, we're going to miss it!"
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)21:00 No.17194888
         File1323741633.gif-(1.92 MB, 320x180, dis_gona_be_good_gif.gif)
    1.92 MB
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)21:00 No.17194894
    papa-n. if you're still here I have a couple questions:
    on the Galactic Partridges 1d4chan page.
    Is that max decarus?
    did you write that story?
    is that canon?
    and is it pre or post HL
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)21:00 No.17194896
    Next thread is probably going to be wednesday at 4pm eastern, in case anyone wants to be there.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)21:01 No.17194902
    Is that max decarus?
    did you write that story?
    is that canon?
    >yep and they will appear again
    and is it pre or post HL
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)21:06 No.17194953
    Helena stops at a cliffside, overlooking the vast ocean beyond.

    "Yeah, this is the spot." She sets down her bag and pulls out the food she managed to rustle up. Not standard guardsman rations, good stuff from the town nearby.

    She and Frederick watch the sunset as they devour the various cheeses and bread. Its much better than more rations, Frederick thinks to himself. Especially since he gets to eat it with her.

    The sun drops finally below the horizon, and Helena sits back with a satisfied sigh.

    "That was a lot of fun." Frederick finally gets up the courage to ask.

    Helena turns and smiles at him before looking up toward the emerging stars.

    "I thought so too."
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)21:07 No.17194961
         File1323742067.gif-(458 KB, 120x84, woahfallover.gif)
    458 KB

    Also what kind of length do you think the cameo is going to be...ish?
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)21:10 No.17194981
    "By the way, don't believe those rumors about me being a lesbian."

    Frederick turns to her, hope invigorating his heart.


    "Nah, bisexual."
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)21:13 No.17195012
         File1323742393.jpg-(181 KB, 592x591, 1318396870619.jpg)
    181 KB
    enough to be a lot of fun but not too drawn out, hopefully.

    I'll probably just monitor the thread and go by the sentiment.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)21:18 No.17195076
         File1323742733.gif-(522 KB, 217x118, WERENOTWORTHY.gif)
    522 KB
    finally, is it next thread or a few theads in the future?

    mfw you answered all my questions
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)21:19 No.17195088
    Depends on what people choose, honestly. If it just isn't right for the thread it isn't right.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)21:21 No.17195104
    in other words... itll be a surprise... intriguing!

    I look forward to future HL threads, thank you for your time!
    >> Iron Lung 12/12/11(Mon)21:28 No.17195176
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/12/11(Mon)21:35 No.17195252
    >me when worst voted thread by far

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)23:16 No.17196434
         File1323749773.jpg-(434 KB, 1200x1600, 1323144888217.jpg)
    434 KB

    You're awesome, don't let anyone tell you anything else.

    >> Anonymous 12/12/11(Mon)23:29 No.17196583
    Trolls gonna troll, Papa. Thanks for the story.

    Delete Post [File Only]
    Style [Yotsuba | Yotsuba B | Futaba | Burichan]