eating another sentient species is heresy unless you do so to bring forth the empathy wrath. Silly peasant.

>>17163503

Bites must be interspaced with prayers and angry swearing

SOYLENT RED IS XENOS!

Actually, a black market selling xeno-meat would be an interesting mission in an RT campaign, I would think.

So /tg/ wants to try eating a xeno now?

is it okay to dress up in a Sororita costume for empraween if you're a dude?

now at Red Tyranid, for a limited time only we are serving up endless rippler, enjoy endless servings of your favourite rippler entrees such as succulent garlic butter rippler and creamy rippler linguine. For a limited time only at Red Tyranid

St...STUPID DELICIOUS ELDAR.... i...it's not like i wanted to eat you or anything....

There is a secretive chapter that serves the Imperium. Aware of how even one missed tithe from an agri world could cause millions to go hungry, this Chapter was formed to defend the children of the Emperor...and feed them.

The Chef Marines of the Adeptus Delicious, soldiers trained in the deadly arts of culinary warfare. The Battlefield is their kitchen; their ammunition, their seasoning.

Every attack is meant to fell the enemies of man, and to prepare the fallen as a palatable meal that could keep an entire regiment of guardsmen fed. Countless have fallen to the Chef Marines, and have gone on to feed millions. Orks, Tyranids, Eldar, all xenos are fair game.

Only the Freshest Ingredients.

M41.664
WAAAGH Bazsnikka ravages the Hiveworld of Tehgu. As the fighting reaches the inner cities, the Chef Marines descend with a full menu planned. From behind, Master Chef Altonius Brown shouts commands to his battle brothers. "GLAZE! TENDERIZE! ROAST AT EXACTLY SEVEN HUNDRED DEGREES!"
WAAAGH Bazsnikka is stopped when the Warboss is slain, made into sausages, and smoked on location. Tehgu is not only saved from the orks, but the famine that would have occurred from the lack of Imperial supplies.

>>17163753
oh /tg/, please never changes!

This thread may need archiving just for >>17163753

Such good could not exist without the shadow the light of the Emperor creates, however; Heretics of the highest fashion, the Traitor Marines of the Lipid Legionnaires aim to feed those faithful to the Emperor as well. They, however, infiltrate the kitchens and grills of the pious and taint their diets with horrible energies of Chaos, causing their bodies to slowly warp over time into gigantic, morbidly obese bags of tainted flesh, ready to be divvied out amongst the enemies of the Emperor in a single butchery. The rations of the Imperium, replaced with fatty Mekdonald's Compressed Meat Sandwiches and Surprise Fritters of Spawnmeat. The leader of those horrendous beasts, the self-proclaimed "King of The Swift Stroke", calls upon the powers of both Nurgle and Slaanesh, bringing their individual talents of defiling and addiction into his devious plots as he aims to corrupt all the kitchens in the world, one triple bypass at a time.

>>17163514
it has now been for months

but only delicious blueberry pies.

I heard they tasted like tuna.

How good is tuna with blueberry sauce?

>cannibalism topic

That seems like as good an excuse as any to shoehorn some thri-kreen cheesecake in here.

After all, they'd probably find Eldar to be sublime.

>>17163901
Bugs taste like chicken, when fried.

Raw, they taste awfully sour.

>>17163911
>raw
>taste sour

So I was right. If you like Atomic Warheads your thri-kreen girlfriend will be happy indeed.

>>17163917
No, I mean that literally, I've eaten a few raw bugs and they taste sour. Crunchy but sour.

+ Do not serve Hrud, got it? They are not fuckin' fit for human consumption+

Chapter Master Gordis Ramsey, Astartes Culinarus
874M41

>>17163901
Yes...the Chef marines know all about which Eldar organs are the best delicacies.

It was the Steel Chef Morimotus who had discovered that certain Dark Eldar organs, specifically those that dealt with their immune system, had a unique flavor if eaten raw with a dipping sauce made from Ork Marrow. The older the Eldar, the better the taste.

Breadnoughts!

Even in death we still SERVE!

Delicious balanced meals.

>>17163917
>thri-kreen girlfriend
sometimes I fucking hate you /tg/

>>17163889
Sounds like one of these "modern cuisine" things, like tomato tarts with balsamic vinegar; or king prawns with mango and cucumbers.

both of which are glorious

>>17163901

>Implying eating an organism not belonging to your species is cannibalism.

>>17163934
So, you're jealous because even fictional women don't want you?

>>17163928
I'd believe that. They rot away within a few hours, they WEAR their own poop and dead tissues, and are full of toxic glands.

>>17163942
yes, even the women in my own head are repulsed by the fact that I associate with you .

>>17163919
So their bodily fluids are sour. Noted.

>>17163934
>he can't get with a sexy invertebrate lady
>laughingfemalethrikreens.jpg

>>17163496
Dude, pigs have cloven hooves, thats part of the reason the chosen people of Israel CAN'T eat them.

The ass muscles are amongst the firmest, densest muscles in the bipedal anatomy, while also being very thick. If you want to cook a nice grilled steak of sweet xenos flesh, go for the ass.

But don't forget to tenderize it beforehand, otherwise it gets too coarse once cooked.

The Emperor, and the Imperium, is totally NOT cool with it.

Humankind remembers being hunted, enslaved, raped, eaten, and worse at the hand of the Xenos.

Out of our divine right and mercy, we offer the Xenos a quick death, or they can stay the fuck out of our way. We won't (usually) resort to their barbarism.

>inb4 laughing Eldar Whores.

General rule: If you need to ask then yes, it's heresy.

what about dark eldar gastronomy? They certainly have a means to make their victims stay alive and sentient even as they are being cooked and eaten.

>>17163960
Well good thing there are no more Chosen people of Israel in w40k. Just chosen of the Emperor, and their creed is "If it ain't human, eat the fuck out of it."

>>17163963
>>17163956
>>17163917
>>17163901
>>17163886
>>17163889
>>17163878
>>>/d/

To be honest, I always thought Tyranids looked really delicious, the larger ones tasting like lobster, medium ones like crab and ripper sized would be like shrimp. I guess eating a spore would be like eating a Fugu fish.


Man I'm really hungry

>>17163956
"Mah waifu is bettah than yours"

>>17163966
Well then it's only fair they get eaten right back.

Especially the Tau. Bunch of herbivorous communist hippie bastards...

>>17163992
I thought they ate sushis...

>>17163960
they must satisfy both cloven hoof and grass eating. Pigs are not grass eating, but I'm sure tau are.

>>17163996

Tau don't eat meat as a culture. Just fruits and veggies.
It was written about in one of the "Schaeffers Last Chancers" novels.

Kroot eat everything though.

>>17163996
They don't have the teeth for it. Meaning even if they did, they wouldn't digest the crap. It'd just pass through their system.

Do you think that different castes means different tastes?

>>17163990
You waifu as a prensile clitoris.
and you are a furfag

>>17164010

Yeah the two on the left would be roasted, with several layers of glaze and possibly breadcrumbs if you have it available.

The two in the middle would probably be made into a stew, they don't have enough meat for a proper roast.

Right most, just use as a stock.

-Steel Chef Bobbilius Flaygen

>>17164010

Not really. At the dinner delegation, even the Fire Warrior was eating the same fruits/veggies as everyone else.

Unless it's been stated otherwise elsewhere.

>>17164017
No, I mean do they taste different?

>Orks are both plentiful and count as a serving of vegatable.
So does eating Orks count as vegetarian diet?

>>17164016
Thanks steel chef!

>>17164017
Wasn't it covered in Xenology they have no sharp teeth, only teeth meant for grinding? This points to a species not meant to eat meat. As such, they will lack the enzymes needed to break down meat, so even if they do eat anything, they will gain no nourishment from it. Like a human eating paper, no enzymes to break down the pulp, so no nourishment, just bad constipation.

"that eldar that i ate earlier, it;s not sitting well..."

>>17164040
It's actually not that bad unless you eat way too much. A page now and again is ok.

>>17164031
yes, as a matter of fact hunting and eating Orks exclusively is the only way to be a vegetarian and remain manly

"damn it, they sold me dark eldar!"

*keel over

>>17163983
Against the rules there because it's not from GRORIOUS NIPPON

>>17164054
of course not, their muscles are way too tough to be digested by a weak stomach. But they are full of fibers. That should help the transit.

>>17164055
Yes but you will not digest it. It will just sit there until your guts heave into the next phase of digestion.

Delicious Tau blueberries

>>17164031
>So does eating Orks count as vegetarian diet?

If Pizza counts as a fucking vegtable, then Orkz HAVE to.

>>17164058
Yes see that is a problem.

Eldar are all about purity and so on. And thus nearly every part is edible.

Dark Eldar, only select organs, as most are so laden with drugs that are toxic to humans, that many will leave you with a bad stomach ache, or worse as this unfortunate is finding out. Which is why you must ALWAYS look for the warning signs as to what Eldar meat you got.

-Master Chef Altonius

>>17164010
You can even let the air-caste macerate in olive oil with spices, and eat her without taking the bones away; they are soft enough to be eaten as well.

Or you can cook her like a ray, with a few potatoes, melted butter, lime juice and capers.

>>17164031
in fact, recently the imperial senate just passed a decree that orks count as a vegetable since each serving of ork contains two terra spoons of chlorophyll

>>17164075
Which parts of their anatomy can count as a desert?

>>17164031
No, they eat meat. Thus they have the proteins normally found in meat based products. The skin however is cellulose, and while plant based, is indigestible for humans. IT will certainly clean your bowels however!

>>17164088
The feet. They taste like cheese, and can go well with a proper vintage wine.

>>17164088
Her Blue Berries

>>17164093
I was thinking about the eyes. Dem big, beady bug eyes coated in sugar. A bit hard to fit between your jaws, but when they pop in your mouth, it's easier to swallow.

>>17164098
tau nipples?

does their milk taste sweet?

>>17164089

They also reproduce through spores, so enjoy having an orc crawl out of your anus.

>>17164100
That too, but it's very costly. Like 'Orkburger with gold shavings' costly. Because it is so damn hard to prepare the eyes without them shriveling to raisin size.

>>17164104
Spores are designed to plant themselves in unliving organic matter and take root. When they land in your stomach full of acid and bacteria that make even stronger enzymes designed specifically to break down certain carbohydrates, those spores'll just join the soup.

tyranids, like many terrestrial arthropods are quite sour before cooking.

The taste can be off putting, as demonstrated by this space wolf neophyte

>you'll never eat a necron

>this thread

"IT'S DINNER TIME!
-No! Urien-san, No!"

>>17164125
C'tan shards with Gaze of Death can do that.

U jelly, mortals?

>>17164125
No, but their torsos can be made into a very enticing oven. One use though as afterwards, the grim will be IMPOSSIBLE to clean out of the tiny cracks.

>>17164125
Actually I have found that in small doses, the composites that make living metal actually rejuvenate the body, and keep a young complexion. That is why I always keep a necron limb around, and shave a little off for every dish I make.

-Steel Chef Bobbilus Flaygen

>>17164140

Ah yes, the legendary necron ovens of the Adeptus Delicious, i've heard it's very hard to obtain them as it's often impossible unless an entire tomb world is destroyed or trade deals are made with crazed Necron royalty and/or the Blood Ravens.

>>17163901
A little cannibalism never hurt the imperilium, heck even a certain primarch's daughter has been known to partake in it to a degree

>>17164134
what does C'tan essence taste like?

Ginger ale, I'm sure. Spicy and sugary.

>>17164176
Actually it's surprisingly salty. Must be all the emo rage.

ever wonder why cultist has pointy filed teeth?

well, sometimes a battlefield is also her buffet table

They say Tau milk is the sweetest drink in the Eastern Fringe. Radical chefs will go to any lengths to collect it.

"Shouldn't have drank all that eldar milk, I'm psykotose intolerant"

Wait, Tau are meant to be herbivores?
That makes no sense at all: in their prehistory the Fire Caste were hunters on savanah plains and other grasslands.

The giant pre-Ethereal war happend mostly because the Fire Caste were pushing out of those areas, because they'd hunted most of the game to extinction.

>>17164301
If Ork are basically mushrooms, what makes you think that in the 41st Millennium you can't hunt vegetables?

>>17164301
maybe on their homeworld trees and crops are just very fast?

You guys should try necrodermis! It's like raisin juice, but as ORGANIC METAL.

>>17164324
And Werther's Originals, too!

>>17164081
What about freerange exodites?

>>17164316
>>17164313
See Catachan.

>>17164257
I recall Eldar Milking coming up as a motivation for a DH session.
Something about Eldar breastmilk being the most amazing thing to flavor recaf with.

>Breast feeding fetish

So what female xeno I would have to capture in order to get the finest breast milk, /tg/?

I can also capture some Slaaneshi cultist, or even a daemonette.

What is the effect/taste of eating slaanesh demons.

>>17164470
dunno, what does pure cocaine taste like?

>>17164470
Effect: Heresy
Taste? Orgasmic

Hey does aanyone have Slaanesh's penis explosions recipes.

>>17164460

You haven't heard it from me, but SOME say that if you take equal parts of Eldar and Dark Eldar milk (yes, the tastes are different, Eldar milk is slightly sweer while Dark Eldar, while sweet, has a sour aftertaste to it) and drip ONE, and only one drop of daemonette blood, then leave it to 'brew' for a week or so, you will get the best fucking yoghurt known to man.

I'm just saying.

>>17164517
it's pretty similar to stuffed squid recipes, but with a lot more spices, and a daemonette's penis instead of a squid

>>17164520
you're aware that blood and sperm are not distinguishable in most daemonettes, right?

>>17164539

Well, that could be a problem...

Eh. Since I've gone there and ate a daemonette's blood/sperm, i might as well go all the way and butcher one to make some slaaneshi steaks.

>>17164531
even better if the daemonette is still alive and attached to it

Back to OP, I'd like to mention that xenos are only a kind of animal in the Imperial propaganda, so it would certainly be ok for an Imperial citizen to eat them. After they get over their righteous disgust, of course.

>>17164556
>>17164576
He/She/It MUST be alive, they kinda vanish when they're killed. Sorry, champ.

>>17164601

I'm sure it'll find the whole 'butchering' thing delightful.

>>17164601
yeah, well, better cut off her prostate; otherwise she might enjoy the experience all over your dishes

unless you WANT slaaneshi juice in your basmati rice
in which case you might as well fill her butt with barbecue sauce to trigger it more easily

>wake up
>f5
>mfw reading this thread

Oh wow. Going back to bed now, continue this fine work gentlemen.

If the Imperium was entirely chinese, everything in this thread would be canon.

why are giant faggots voting against the thread on suptg?

Dark eldar mandrakes are amongst the finest butchers in the galaxy, and can find you any kind of meat no matter where it's located.

what would you ask them?

>>17164770

A nice, juicy steak of daemonette ass.

>>17164788
Same with tau.

>>17164770
whats the best tyranid cuts, and how do you prepare them?

>>17164788
I fucking second this

ITT: /ThinlinGs/ worshipping the Great Maw.

>>17164788
>>17164799
as we said, it has to be still attached to the daemonette, otherwise it fades out within minutes.

>>17164820
I dont really see a problem here boss
do you?

>>17164809

Fat, sweaty, greasy neckbeards munching on any crap they find all day long?
Actually ogres?

it's more likely than you'd think.

>>17163791
>Altonius Brown

Have my children.

what the fuck am I reading..

What sort of fungi are ork useful as? Truffles,shitakimushrooms, magic?

>>17165193
rovellons.

>>17163496
In all seriousness, probably no. If they're not toxic, the bizaarre contents of their bodies might taint those that consume them.

>>17163496
>>17163791
>>17165012

"been a kroot farmer my whole life, and while they ain't nothing pretty to look at, they sure taste delicious fried, baked or barbecued"

Kroot, the other white meat

Paid for advertisement by the Imperial Kroot poultry and egg association.

.>>17163886
K:"Hey tau, what you got's there?"
T:"oh, it's just some kroot pot pie I just baked"
K:"..."
K:"can I have some?"

Casu marzu is
Nurgle's favourite
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casu_marzu

In the grim dark future, there is only interpredation

well mankind has to establish it's self at the top of the (food) pyramid somehow

>>17170283
Maggots, rotten cheese embodiment of nurgle

>>17170283
WTF

>>17170283
>insect larva can pass through you without dying
>bore through intestinal walls

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE

>>17170504
>>17172363
>>17172380
eating chaos is defiantly against imperial decree and common decency

Okay, some people seem to forget that most the Imperium is made up of cannibals.

Corpse-starch rations aren't just called that for show. Soylens viridians is the real deal.

The Imperium is too huge to be wasteful of little things like corpses- and so it re-uses the dead in the best way it can.

Sure, if you KILL someone to eat them or are found snacking on a corpse you just found, you'll be executed. Until it's refined into food, it's still a very questionable matter...

It's likely the same with xenos. Eat raw Eldar? Eat raw bolt. Eat refined Eldar? Eat so refined.

< This

>>17172514
you'd have to be a heartless bastard to eat corgissar

to this day and age, people still eat chimps, gorillas, dolphins, whales, etc

In the grimdark future, I wouldn't see any reason why the fallen enemies of mankind be a source of nutrition.

ork meat is sold in the low hives and slums since it is cheap and plentiful, but tastes bad and is tough.

Stray tryanids are hunted and consumed by outdoor adventurous types

Kroot is like turkey, maybe cooked whole and eaten on special occasions, eggs could also be a commodity

tau is only eaten on the eastern fringes, probably not too often. Unless it's after a large battle and they've been processed into nutrient mush. Different castes probably have different tastes and textures.

Eldar are rare and exquisite delicacy, I'd imagine young female eldar farseer to command a princely price.

Necron living metal makes the best non-stick cookware in the galaxy

>>17169321
i imagine these taste different depending on what they eat.