“H-hey, I’ve never done this before…”

“Don’t worry, I’m experienced, I’ll be gentle.”

“Wow, your encryption is so huge! I don’t think it’s going to fit!”

“Relax babe, just enjoy the connection.”

“Ahh! No! It-its too much!”

“Hold on, here comes my data! I’m uploading!!!”

“Hahhh! Your data, its filling me up!”

“Take all of my packets you dirty bitch!”

*beep*
-Contact added-

“Cool, now I can give you a call after I find my brother and figure out what’s going on!” Ailia sticks her own device back inside the battle suit, before climbing back inside.

“Wait, your leaving?” You ask, again unhappy at the thought of being alone again.

“Sorry Max, but I’ll call you again for sure.” Ailia smiles.

“And maybe next time I’ll show you some Tau customs…” She continues slyly.

IT'S FUCKING ON

next goal: fuck her faceslit

You watch sadly as the Crisis battle suit fades into the distance, a cold breeze rustling your jimmies.

It’s not too far of a trek back to the armory, and you change into some new Commissar digs when you get there. You keep the same hat though.

Sitting down, you snack on a ration as you ponder what to do next.

[ ] Scout the Warp disturbance nearby. The Daemonettes are both sexy and terrifying.

[ ] Spy on what has the Orks acting so weird, you’ve never seen them like THIS.

[ ] The Necrons are surely up to something sinister…

[ ] Find the Mechanicus and see if anyone is still alive there.

[ ] You don’t know much about Dark Eldar, but you aren’t
exactly sure you want to know more.

>>17116271
>>17116271
>tau customs
HAIGURE!

>>17116279
[X] Scout the Warp disturbance nearby. The Daemonettes are both sexy and terrifying.

>>17116279
[x] Find the Mechanicus and see if anyone is still alive there.

Dem dendrites.

>>17116279
>[X] The Necrons are surely up to something sinister…

time for some sweet innocent robot undead ass

>>17116279
Either
>[X] You don’t know much about Dark Eldar, but you aren’t exactly sure you want to know more.
or
>[ ] Scout the Warp disturbance nearby. The Daemonettes are both sexy and terrifying.
if Khornettes are involved.

Fuck the system i'm voting twice
[X] Scout the Warp disturbance nearby. The Daemonettes are both sexy and terrifying.

[X] Spy on what has the Orks acting so weird, you’ve never seen them like THIS.

>>17116310
Futanaris everywhere. We'll give 'em some prostate orgasms, or stick it in their urethra.

>> [x ] Scout the Warp disturbance nearby. The Daemonettes are both sexy and terrifying.

RED HOT SLAANESHI LOVE INCOMING

>picking the multiple-penis futa girls route

huh, wouldn't have guessed it, thought you would go for some delicious DE

Well, not my place to judge

>>17116338
Shush, and go back to tgchan.

>>17116342
not only slaaneshi

>>17116348
please don't go down this route

>>17116353
nope.

In the shower at most.

>>17116348
>huh, wouldn't have guessed it, thought you would go for some delicious DE

/tg/ is acting up again after another thread complaining about the moderation.

>>17116348
Eh, Deldar girls have better abs anyways.

Suggestion for long-term goal: three-way with Esh and Ailia.

>>17116367
and khornettes have even better ones.

>>17116359
Strange, everybody chooses the showers when they're offered the choice between tgchan and those.

>>17116370
Steroid guts will do that.

>>17116348
Papa-N
/tg/ love dickgirls. oh well,
>[ ] Find the Mechanicus and see if anyone is still alive there.

>>17116370
i don't think an average human has the stamina nor strength to successfully "satisfy" a khornette.

the Dark Eldar would be a safer choice

Well you have had some fun so far no doubt, but maybe it’s time to serious up a bit.

That warp hole nearby was spitting out daemons like a fat feral world girl spits out children. But the latest image from the servo skull shows an open warp hole but no flow of horrific denizens of the warp.

Something obviously isn’t right.

A Chimera should prove easier to drive than a Sentinel, you think. Right up until you lower yourself into the drivers compartment…

“How the fuck are there this many LEVERS?!” You shout, offended at the sight.

After a bit of agitated flailing and bashing of the controls, you manage to get the APC moving.

Several seconds later however, you realize the Chimera is quickly gaining speed and you don’t know how to slow down.

“FFFFFFFFFFfffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…” You are headed dead center at the open warp hole.

Wrenching the controls, you manage to just barely avoid it as you crash right into a large and apparently sturdy wall.

The tank slams quickly to a halt, and you hear the engine quit. Must have pissed off the machine spirit when you insultingly slammed it headlong into a seven hundred meter wide stationary building.

Your head hurts, having bounced hard off of all things, a lever. Still, you crawl out of the back hatch to assess the damage.

You are just about to see if you can back out; get a Maaco paint job, and hope no one notices, when a dark voice stops you in your tracks.

“You dare disturb me? Dare to destroy my feast, insufferable mortal wretch?” The voice seemingly coming from everywhere.

You are sweating hard, painfully aware at how inadequate the pistol now feels clutched in your hand which is trembling slightly.

“You… You shall have to fill it’s place!”

A set of fangs sinks into your thigh.

“OW what the fuck!?” You yell as you turn to face your assailant.

Expecting a towering, terrifying, horrific daemon, you aren’t exactly sure what to think about what you actually see.

“You wrecked my lunch you big dumb meanie!” She screams.

The daemonette is small, much smaller than the others. Unlike the ones you saw yesterday, her boobs are nearly non-existent and hidden in a thin black tube top. Her face is young and far less menacing then the older versions. A small fang juts out from her lip as she scowls at you.

You would call her cute if you were not still concerned about how many ways she could likely torture you to death.

>>17116379
the only reason why there were so many jews going to extermination camps was because it was a free ride and housing.

>>17116417
This pleases me immensely.

>>17116417
BABBY D!

You notice a table flipped over, and various food items littered about it, each in a varying state of disarray. You are just about to apologize when she kicks you in the shin.

“You little brat!” You shout, and before you realize it you have picked up the little daemon by her leg and are now holding her upside-down.

The short skirt she was wearing obeys gravity and before you know it you are staring at the backside of a daemon.

“S-stripes?” You manage to stutter before she catches you in the chin with her other foot. In retrospect, totally worth it, yellow and white is an interesting combo.

“You perv!” The little daemon yells as she kicks you again.

You let her go as you avoid another blow, and she falls to the ground with a pomf.

She glowers furiously at you, the animosity apparent. Her eyes narrow further and you expect perhaps to be eaten by the warp. But just then, a single tear streaks down her purple face.

You realize she is crying, though trying to hold back her tears and avoiding your gaze.

“All I wanted was to eat in peace, and you wrecked it…” She sobs.

Well now you feel like an asshole.

[ ] Get out of dodge, she could rip your limbs off with just a twinge of a mood change.

[ ] Comfort her, you think you saw some rations in the Hellhound.

[ ] Her defenses are down, attack!

>>17116440
>yellow and white

ow, what the fuck?

>>17116440
ATTACK

>>17116440
[X] Comfort her, you think you saw some rations in the Hellhound.

>>17116440
Attack.

>>17116440
Kill loli, rape corpse, it's not heresy if you kill it first.

Kill it.

>>17116440
>hellhound

Its a fucking Chimera, now quit oogling the pretty tanks on the GW website and get back to writing!

>>17116440
comfort

>HLPIV
Fuck. YEAR!

>>17116499
start drawing fanart of this scene, Ribbonfag

>>17116440
Get those fucking rations.

feed her, we are not a murderer

>tie between attacking her and feeding her

have to say, did not expect this

>>17116545
roll dice

KILL HER. LOLI QUEST I WANT NOT.

>>17116545
If dubs, we kill her.

>>17116555
TRIPS TO WIN

kill the daemon

>>17116555
wow

we DOUBLE-kill her

Comfort her, surely nothing could go wrong!

>>17116555
Thank god we aren't on neither /b/ nor /v/.

>>17116545
Nom nom. Not pew pew.

>>17116555
JOHN, YOU MUST FIGHT THE DEMONS!

>>17116440
Kill.

>>17116504
>implying Im ribbonfag

>>17116574
that's ironic, right?

Now the Loli will rape us

If dubs, we kill her again.

>>17116602
okay, only once will be enough

COMFORT

Rations.

kill it

kill it with fire

EVERYBODY DO THE SAMEFAG!

>>17116632

>Everyone else doesn't have my opinion.
>"Samefags!"

Kill the bitch. Suffer not the loli to live.

>Implying Max will manage to kill her

Hahaha

>>17116632
You're just jealous of my dubs.

“H-hey, don’t cry!” You stammer, you are really not sure what to make of this situation.

She looks back up at you with her wet eyes, fat tears still streaming down her face.

“I think I’ve got some food in that tank, let me see if I can find it.”

You rummage through the back of the Chimara.

Lasgun cleaning supplies, various junk items, latest edition of Admechgirl…

Found them!

You drag out the box of rations and choose the “chicken emperor salad” as it’s one of the least awful ones.

The little girl begins to eagerly devour the food. You aren’t sure how, you can barely stomach any of those things.

The daemon girl isn’t watching, this might be the only chance you have.

Silently you draw your sword, inching it from its scabbard, praying she doesn’t notice. It looks like she’s remained oblivious as she continues to stuff her face.

It turns your stomach a little to think you are about to lop off the head of this cute little daemon, still, to do otherwise would be heresy.

“SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!”

[X] Her defenses are down, attack!
*BLAM*

rolled 9 = 9

>>17116641
KILL THE LOLI. KILL IT AND BURN THE CORPSE AND SHOW ESH THAT WE TOO CAN KILL DAEMONS.

You spin around in time to see a chain axe speeding toward your face. Barely managing to block the blow, the force of it throws you back nonetheless.

The Khornette laughs madly, swinging the axe in blazing arcs as you struggle to keep up. Each strike you block knocks you backwards from the force.

“TRYING TO KILL MY LITTLE SISTER? I’LL RAPE YOUR FUCK HOLES WHILE THE LIFE FADES FROM YOU, HUMAN!”

It’s no use, you finally realize. She’s far too strong, you can barely keep up and you are tiring fast.

In a last ditch effort you grip the sword above your head, trying desperately to somehow put her on the defensive.

The chain axe catches you in the gut, roaring and spraying with blood and guts as it burrows ever deeper into you.

Pain, excruciating pain.

You are laying on your back, your broken mind trying to stuff your own intestines back into the gaping wound.

Slowly though, a numbness begins to creep out into your body. You are so cold now. Your world grows dark...

>>17116651
>latest edition of Admechgirl…
Whatever comes next, ignore it and get to fappin'

rolled 2 = 2

ROLL TO HIT

rolled 18 = 18

We should have just killed her.

>>17116673
you keep doing this
>inb4 not trolling

>>17116688
The Khornate still would kill us

Oh, still had my trip for Miracle/Hind on.
+switching personality+
Girls! Spoon! Daemonettes! Blueberry creampies! Harem! Primach Aran!

Okay, I am now in the right mind.

>>17116688
dubs with a high roll

rolled 7 = 7

>>17116688
Double dubs with a high roll, the emperor is with us today.

>>17116717
>>17116701
>dubs

Did they close /b/?

>>17116696
>trolling

No, you caught a chain axe to the middle. Khornettes man, reason you almost never hear about them is because no one lives to tell the tale.

>>17116728
you mad because it's not what you chose?

>>17116729
Let's just reload from the last savegame.

>>17116729
ok, you're trolling

>>17116744
>implying writefag dont have something in store for this

>>17116729
well fuck 9/10

>>17116729
It's over? So that means no more inquisitor penis jokes?

>>17116729
We've had worse.

>>17116673
Ah well, best to just relax and enjoy our death as best we can.

We will continue this quest in the Warp. There's daemonettes there, of the proper grown-up variety!

>>17116440
[X ] Her defenses are down, attack!

>>17116673
Hey she promised to fuck us while we die get to writing that!

Papa-N, this just so, so, so very wrong. I have gone blase against these deaths! This shouldn't be! I mean, what's the point of the deaths if I can't feel the horror?

. . .
Ruinous Powers, I feel like playing F:S/N again, saving at each options and trying all the routes just to see how dead (or worse!) can Shirou be.

And, no, I am not being sarcastic... Well, at least I am feeling glee each time Max died or having fates worse than death. Wait, I am happier whenever he got fates worse than death! Yeah! Death is cheap in 40k, anyway!

>inb4 guro

It’s so hard to open your eyes, as though some dick techpriest has glued them shut as a prank after an all night drinking binge.

“Max….”

The voice sounds so far away, but the power emanating from it is something beyond comprehension.

“Hey, Max. Dude wake up.”

Finally you manage to crack open your eyes, your vision a bit blurry.

The Emperor himself is peering down, at you. His golden armor is brilliant against the white background, gleaming as though it was brand new.

He is waxing a surf board.

“E-Emprah?” You manage, weakly.

The Emperor nods. “Yeah bro, it’s me.”

It’s a struggle to move your head as you look around. The whole place is just an endless backdrop of white, as though this place exists but doesn’t.

“Am I dead?” You finally ask, unable to look down at your own stomach for fear of what you might see.

The Emperor turns back to his board, a brilliant green one.
“Yeah man, you caught one in the stomach, didn’t you? You are dead, kinda.”

Finally you look down, but with a bit of relief you notice that the wound isn’t there. It takes all of your strength to sit up.

“Emprah, I… I’m so sorry, I’ve been so heretical and…”

The Emperor stands up, his size is daunting. This is beyond your abilities of your mind, to be so close to your god.

“Listen dude, you are the first human I’ve spoken to in a loooonnggg time. I didn’t bring you here without having my reasons.”

>>17116819
Oh God
I did not expected this

rolled 3 = 3

>>17116729
OUR DUTY IS NOT YET DONE! TO OUR FEET! FOR THE EMPREROR

>>17116819
Told you fags that Papa-N had something

>>17116819
THE EMPRAH PROTECTS

Your mind is reeling, the Emperor brought you here personally after you were slain by a Khornette? It has to be some kind of death hallucination.

The Emperor turns and stares out a small window that has opened itself up in the white, through it, what looks like a view of a galaxy. You can’t help but notice, he looks… Sad…

“I’ve been watching for millennia as the universe as we know it tears itself apart at the seams. As my followers, once so righteous and devout, stray from my path and falsify my word.”

This can’t be happening, there just is no way.

“Its… Depressing, to say the least.” He mutters, resting his chin on his fist in deep thought.

If it’s real, than surely you can speak to the Emperor. But since it’s fake, there’s no way he will answer you. This is obviously some kind of chaos god trick.

“Emprah, if I may ask… And I do so with only the utmost veneration. Where have you been? What have you been doing?”

The Emperor turns his gaze back to you, brow knit as though pondering what it means to be a mortal such as yourself.

What seems like an age passes.

“Surfing.” He finally admits.

“I’ve been surfing.”

“Huh?” You ask, realizing only than how disrespectful you sound.

“Yeah man. I’ve been taking up lives on feral worlds, ones with nice beaches. Surfing just kind of happened… It had been so long since I had known joy, it really just took over my life.”

The Emperor has spent the last several thousand years surfing… Your body wasn’t prepared for this.

The God Emperor shrugs, putting his board aside.

“But enough about me, I want to talk about YOU.” He says, pointing one gleaming finger right at your forehead.

>>17116894
I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. I can almost see it coming.

>Inb4 Lonely Emps need your service, Guards-Commisar!
Yay! Soulstripping back jamming!

>>17116894
>“Surfing.” He finally admits.

This is where i lost it

>>17116894
>I want to talk about YOU
>hfw

“Me?” You ask, with a gulp.

“You.” The Emperor confirms.

“I’ve been watching you since before your birth, Max. Long have I waited for a mortal righteous and level-headed enough to become my new right hand.”

Your head is spinning. Tzeentch is obviously playing some kind of trick.

“It’s not a trick, Max. While I love all of my children, this task is not something I can bestow upon some zealous chapter master or trigger happy Inquisitor. Not without them tainting my goal.”

“Emprah, I…” But he holds up a hand to quiet you.

“It was one of my last surfing trips…” His story begins.

“I was really ripping it up, the surf was intense. Then suddenly this group of feral Orks comes charging out. Only they don’t attack me, they start cheering me on from the shore. I spent a lifetime with this group, teaching them the ways of the board. It was then that I realized the mistake of humanity. We shouldn’t be purging the xenos, in this endless conflict. We should be making the universe a more righteous place, and you seem to understand that… Aside from nearly killing that little daemonette, kind of a dick move broski.”

The Emperor laughs at your face, which is surely a sight to behold.

“But first, before I return you to the mortal world, we’re going to a party.”

Are you a bad enough dude to party with the Emprah?

>>17116984
Fuck.

Yes.

>just discover HL:1+2+3 today on suptg
>notice they're around two days apart each time
>wait a fucking minute
>open up /tg/
>oh wow
I love this, I hope the general consensus is on the Necrons next thread. I wanna see how that would play out.

>>17116984

i hope so

>>17116984
FUCK. YES.
Let's do this.

>>17116984
>Aside from nearly killing that little daemonette, kind of a dick move broski.

"That dubs commanded me. the dubs!"

>>17116984
The question here is,
Is the Emprah a bad enough dude to party with us?

rolled 428 = 428

>>17116984
YES FUCK YES

>>17116984
And then The God-Emperor of Mankind was The Dude from The Big Lebowski, mixed with some Pauly Shore and a stereotypical California surfer.

>>17116984
But a Daemonette isn't a Xeno.

We need to get doomrider in on this

>>17117009
That is the kind of attitude we need to hold from
here on out.
>>17116984
As many 'yes' as there are to be given, my Lord.

>>17117022
Sorry

>>17116984

>>17116984
My liver is ready!

>>17117027
No, I mean that in the best way possible.
We are the hedonist the Emperor needs, and we should embrace that whole-heartedly.
I guess.

>>17117044
Whoops I misread your post

>>17116984

I won't be partying with you.

YOU'LL BE PARTYING WITH ME!!!

>>17116984
PARTY!

>>17117044
>hedonist
This is relevant to Slaanesh's interests.

Tzeentech and Slaanesh teamed up to fool us.

...Aww.
> This lil' anon is a wee bit sad there aren't soul-shattering events administered by Emps himself.

Well, continue on, I guess.

>>17117067
Well we've already summoned Doom Rider with epic cocaine abuse. It's only natural that Slaanesh would have some hold over us at this point.

Your broken mind can barely formulate a thought as your lips move on their own.

“A… Party… Emprah?”

He reaches down and lifts you to your feet with one hand.

“Yeah, Chaos gods invited me and told me to bring a friend along. Could have sworn Nurlge said something about Tzeentch but the communication ended before he could finish… Could have sworn he said “shlicking”, whatever that means…”

He spins you around, looking you over thoughtfully.

“The Commissar outfit is pretty stylish, but it could use a bit extra. BAM!”

Your clothes suddenly glow with the light of the Emprah, and they begin to morph. What once was a utilitarian battle garb is now a suit of awesome fit for even the most radical chaos-god house party. They feel just so RIGHT against your skin, as though the Emperor himself had personally tailored them just for you.

“Emprah be praised… I don’t even know what to say.” You really don’t, this is all just so much so fast.

The Emperor laughs, a booming but cheerful kind of laugh. The kind of laugh that when you hear at the pub drinking with your homies, you can’t help but crack a smile and laugh along with.

“Get ready for this, the last mortal I teleported like this described the event as “what?”.” The Emperor rubs his hands together quickly, as though getting ready.

“ZAP!”

And your world explodes into color.

>>17117089
what?

>>17117095
exactly.

no better way of putting it.

>>17117089
Maybe we get to meet that cute Khornette and her sister again...

>>17117089
So at the very least, the Emprah, Nurgle, and Tzeentch are bros, and... not a single one of their followers knows about this?

>>17117089

>>17117089
Calling it now: This is a actually Slaanesh in disguise.

>>17117117
is that a problem?

Man, that SoB will be ALL OVER our cock when we tell her we partied with the Emperor.

>>17117182
>Man, that SoB will be ALL OVER our cock when we tell her we partied with the Emperor.
>ALL OVER our cock
>our cock
Christ, the thought of /tg/'s collected neckbeards share a common cock is gonna leave a horrendous mental scar.

When your mind finally stops freaking out, man, you take in everything before you.

This is, without a doubt, the most epic party ever to exist. It is perhaps even the most epic beyond the very fabric of existence, this party might be existence itself.

The Emperor stands beside you, still wearing his golden armor. Though now a stylish black top hat adorns his head and a massive cane with a swirling galaxy inside it’s shaft, rests in his hand.

“I did set you up with a few dates, some Daemon girls, cute ones to boot. You were going to get a pick one out of the three, to be decided in a strip competition. But I’m not sure if that’s going to happen now, you REALLY pissed off two of them and the third is mad you tried to off her littlest sister.”

He nudges you and points over to a table which seats three of the most beautiful beings you’ve ever witnessed.

The little loli daemonette sits, glowering at you. Only her features are a thousand times more perfect here. She’s wearing a frilly black dress that barely covers her butt, as well as a scowl as she stares.

That Khornette; the one who, well, killed you, is there as well. Her armor is gone and in its place a brilliant skin tight white dress with an embroidered void dragon snaking up the side. Her skin is a cooler red now, and it looks ridiculously soft and smooth even from here. She mouths “I raped your skull holes” even as she glares.

A Nurglette, whom you hadn’t seen before, sips a glowing blue drink through a crazy straw. She is wearing a vibrant orange dress which has symbols of Nurlge that move all about it, somehow a moving image inside the fabric itself. The dress revealing enough of her generous cleavage to speed up your heart. Her eyes watch you, and though she doesn’t glare at you like the others, she looks wholly disappointed.

Now you really wish you hadn’t boned yourself over, a strip competition between these three, the thought almost gives you a heart attack.

[ ] Surely there is some way you can apologize and get them back on good terms.

[ ] Approaching three gorgeous ladies, you wouldn’t know what to say… It’s not like you wanted a date or anything…

[ ] Ask the Emperor for advice, maybe he can help a bro out?

>>17117256
[x ] Surely there is some way you can apologize and get them back on good terms.

>>17117256
[X ] Surely there is some way you can apologize and get them back on good terms.

[X] Ask the Emperor for advice, maybe he can help a bro out?

Just to read him talking again.

captcha: phreak nouveau

[X ] Surely there is some way you can apologize and get them back on good terms.

This a hundred times

>>17117242
>>17117256
>>17117117
OH GOD DAMN IT YOU'RE RIGHT!
This isn't the Emperor at all! I mean, look around, where's Slaneesh?
That being said, Apologize to the girls. I mean, really, you were in a damn WAR ZONE and had seen your comrades ripped to pieces by women very similar to these. War is hell and sometimes you have to kill to survive.
We AT LEAST gave her a last meal before we tried attacking.

>>17117256
>[X] Surely there is some way you can apologize and get them back on good terms.

>>17117256
>[x] Ask the Emperor for advice, maybe he can help a bro out?
He's the only one who seems to know WTF is going on here.

>>17117256
Im going with this one, despite my better judgement and common sense. I fortell painfull things in the future
>[x] Surely there is some way you can apologize and get them back on good terms.

>>17117293
Well, if that's true...
[X] Ask the Emperor fr advice, maybe he can help a bro out?
If anybody could help us get laid, it's Empraneesh.

>>17117296
They're demons, so they know what it means to be ruled by the numbers of their gods. The dubs command us as well.

rolled 28 = 28

id say to ask the empra
this is all so heretical, i dont know

[X] Ask the Emperor for advice, maybe he can help a bro out?

>>17117329
This is why I hate /tg/ sometimes.

"Hurr Durr we maed Angry Marines"

Yeah? What cool-fucking army ideas have you made for other races?

"urr... no. Mehreens are all we do".


Seriously, there needs to be a "fucking raeg" army for each faction.

Emps.

> Tau wingman? Space Wolf bro? Celestial Lion? Salamander? Papa-N saw your requests and gives you the best of the best broski to watch your six and occasionally pick you up from the shits you got yourself into: Meeeeeeet the Big E! Emps! In all His glorious dudeski radiance!

>>17117361
>Implying World Eaters aren't raeg enough

>>17117256
>[ ] Surely there is some way you can apologize and get them back on good terms.
They shouldn't even be that angry with us. We're the only one who got killed.

And anyway, even if we had succeeded, it would have been a new sensation for the little daemonette. How can she complain about that?

A simple "Sorry I tried to stab you in the back" should suffice.

“Hey Emprah…” You start to ask, but he shakes his head at you.

“You are a far out dude, Max, but you’ve made your bed and you’re going to have to sleep in it. All I can tell you is that those three are close knit, don’t expect it to be easy to win them back. They were all really excited about meeting you too…”

With that, the Emperor heads off to a bar containing every drink to have ever existed. You can’t blame the guy, you did screw it up for yourself.

He was bro enough to set you up with a chance of a lifetime, not his fault you frittered it away.

You aren’t going to give up though, thoughts of jiggling daemonette bits getting thrown around in your face. You will win these three over, you are just going to have to be one smooth ass operator.

As you approach the table, the three girls stare at you even harder. You can almost feel the dislike emanating from each of them.

This isn’t going to be easy.

You clear your throat.

Roll for speechcraft.

>>17117388
Wait a minute.

How the fuck are they all there, when you're dead, they're living and the Emprah is... the Emprah? WTF is going on.

rolled 10 = 10

>>17117417
d20 right?

>>17117427
yep, rolls in these threads are 1d20 unless stated otherwise

rolled 3 = 3

>>17117417
Uh, what am I rolling?

rolled 8 = 8

>>17117417
Rolling

rolled 20 = 20

>>17117417
>Roll for speechcraft.
oh boy
>rolling 1d20

rolled 9 = 9

>>17117417
Wait a tick, Demonettes don't even DIE. They just poof back into the Warp. AT BEST what you did would have been a minor inconvenience for the girl.
Were as YOU got DEAD.

>>17117425
Well there was a warp rift right next to where we died. They could have just stepped back in after killing you.

Also, time flows strangely in the Warp. Who knows how long we've been dead.

>>17117417
Gonna talk our way into a massive flood of demon-cum.

>>17117439
THERE YOU GO.
EVERYONE
STOP
ROLLING

rolled 10 = 10

>>17117417
Rollan.

>>17117439
>mfw

>>17117444
>>17117439
This/these/whatever!

rolled 13 = 13

>>17117427
>>17117435
>>17117438
>>17117440
>>17117448
Well shit. Hope that ONE Nat 20 helps us.

I just wonder where Tzenchette is. Considering that big T is a gal where big E is concerned, maybe His presence causes all Tzenchette to orgasm in close proximity?

> Aren't they lovely~
> Aren't they beooootiful~

Dammit. What are we supposed to do when a dozen people all roll for the same thing? Take an average of them all?

>>17117458
Nat 20 always prevails.
Only if we got a nat 1.
Then we are fucked

>>17117467
That kills the point of rolling, IMO, since the distribution will tighten so much. You might as well say you roll a 10 for everything.

Eh, OP asked for it.

I've never rolled before I hope it goes well

>>17117485
Almost, you need to put the number of dice before the d.

so, dice+1d20, not dice+d20.

rolled 8 = 8

>>17117485
You need to put a 1 before the d20.
noko+dice+1d20 is what you need.

rolled 2 = 2

>>17117485

it's 'dice+1d20'

Also, rollan. I want's me that Khornette.

>>17117509
>>17117508

You really want that nat 1, right?

>>17117509

FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU

rolled 1 = 1

>>17117508
>>17117507
>>17117509
Oh ok thanks guys!
Here I go!

rolled 14 = 14

rollan, we're probably fucked here

>>17117523
Goddamnit...

>>17117523

BY THE EMPRAH, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

>>17117523
...

At least whatever they do to us, we can't really die in the Warp.

rolled 4 = 4

Rollin for demonic sexytimes

>>17117523

Nah, whether nat 1 or nat 20, Max will be fucked.
+grins+

Sadly, that ain't an innuendo. Chtul-fish?

rolled 10 = 10

>>17117523

God dammit. If dubs, we are successful.

>>17117523
I FUCKING TOLD
TO
STOP
ROLLING!!!

>>17117536
You die in the warp, you die for real!

>>17117523
You, good Sir, are an incredible idiot.

>>17117509
>>17117508
>>17117507
I do blame you as well.

>>17117523
I... I'm so sorry

rolled 10 = 10

>have a slightly above average series of rolls
>idiots keep rolling
>now trying to unfuck us cause of idiots

>>17117523

>roll a nat20
>keep rolling until you get a nat1

I'm laughing so hard right now, you guys really want to be strapped down and ass raped by a daemon prince train that badly?

>>17117571
Ok Papa-N
It's time for your troll post
right?
Right?
RIGHT?

>>17117571
Don't blame me, blame Anon!
You want a 20, I can get a 20, but it won't be a natural one, that's for sure!

rolled 3, 11, 14, 18, 1, 10, 12, 4, 11, 8, 7, 7, 19, 2, 15, 2, 10, 2, 8, 15 = 179

>>17117571
I've decided, fuck everything.

rolled 19 = 19

>>17117557
More like, dying in the Warp offers no escape from the killer. You can get killed over and over again forever.

Trying for a second 20.

>>17117579
>nat1
>troll post

Sorry, my hands are kind of tied...

The Khornette knocks you out before you have time to react.

When you awaken, you realize your hands are bound above your head and your legs are spread wide.

Something is choking you.

And it isn't a gag...

>>17117607
Frak. Wrong thread. Stupid tabs.

>>17117571
I give up. There's now way to play this with all the trolls here today.

rolled 1 = 1

I HAV COM FOR REDEMPSION EMPRAH GUIDE MEH DICE

rolled 10 = 10

>>17117601
>rolled 3, 11, 14, 18, 1, 10, 12, 4, 11, 8, 7, 7, 19, 2, 15, 2, 10, 2, 8, 15 = 179
>rolled 3, 11, 14, 18, 1
>rolled 1

Fuck you too

>>17117623

rolled 20 = 20

>>17117623

Fuck. You.

>>17117613
>>17117623
Oh Fuck my life

>>17117632
You just enter the dice command in the text box for it to not show up in the email field, right? I've got an idea...

>>17117644

I believe it's hidden when you use noko+dice+1d20

it's the noko that hides it?

rolled 12 = 12

>>17117613
Oh well...

We should make a conscious effort to find pleasure in whatever torture the daemonettes have in store for us. Maybe we'll gain Slaanesh's favor and thus earn the loli daemonette's forgiveness.

rolled 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 = 25

>>17117644
It's like some kind of idiot parade in here.

>>17117650

By the way, I actually did roll d20 here : >>17117632

>>17117623

It's double rape time

You realize you are covered in some kind of thick liquid that seems to be dripping out of your every....

DEAR EMPRAH NO!

Your eyes fly open entirely, as you realize exactly what is happening.

>>17117644
no, you just leave noko in the email field, it over-writes the part that changes the name so you can mouse over it.

>>17117665
Your troll posts stopped being midly amusing some time during the second thread.

>>17117665
hahahaha, where is the "HUEHEUHEUHEUHEU"
Papa-N?

>>17117665

BRACE FOR WAT'S ALL ROUND

rolled 13 = 13

>>17117623
ITS OK GUYS THIS TIME FOR SURE

rolled 17 = 17

fucking... you people

rolled 17 = 17

Fuck it, let my fate be casted with a roll of the die.

rolled 9 + 10 = 19

>>17117650
>>17117668
>>17117658
Yeah, just checking. Got 4chan+, auto-nokos, so just wanted to make sure.

Guys, just give up.

“Ladies…” You begin.

“Jackass.” The loli interrupts you.

You sigh and take a seat across from them, their glares don’t let up.

“I deserve that, I know. Trying to kill you like that was… Underhanded, at best.”

They don’t seem to care, but you’re not finished yet.

“I hadn’t ever seen a daemon until just a few short days ago, and the first time I did, well… It was nothing too pleasant. I had a lot of friends in that unit, some guys I had practically grown up with. They were my friends, my brothers, and they are all dead now, those daemonettes didn’t show them any kind of mercy.”

Your voice chokes up a bit. You aren’t just trying to pull this off, this shit be sincere yo. You hadn’t told anyone this stuff yet, and though it feels good to let it out, it’s painful to relive.
The daemonette’s faces relax a bit, their eyes growing perhaps a bit softer, as they listen to your story.

“I mean, my best friend was out there. Douglass Tannar, met him in basic training. Dude saved my life on more than one occasion, he was one of the toughest mother fuckers I’ve ever met. He… He got ripped to pieces right in front of me, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.”

You bite your lip, suddenly feeling like being here a whole lot less.

“You know what, I’m sorry, I’m not going to screw up your night. You girls have a fun time…”

You stand up and start to walk away, deep in thought.

>>17117700
Desperate times called for desperate measures.
>>17117705
Yeah, the /tg/ dice have spoken.

>>17117708
Oh Thank God, Papa-N is kind to us

>>17117708
THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

>>17117725

>In b4 HUE HUE HUE
>That was the troll post

>rape incoming

Until a small hand grabs the back of your uniform lightly.
It’s the littlest daemonette, and she’s looking you right in the eyes, no longer glaring.

“It’s ok, I forgive you.” She says quietly, before blushing and turning back to sip her drink.

“So, what do you suggest we do?” The Khornette asks, stirring her cocktail which looks disturbingly like blood.

[ ] “Grab a drink, have fun. I’m going to go unsober myself and relive my nightmares.”

[ ] “I’ll let you guys decide, I really don’t know.”

[ ] “A bit of friendly competition, perhaps?”

>>17117708
Papa-N is a merciful story-teller, and the whole of /tg/ thanks him for it.

>[x] “Grab a drink, have fun. I’m going to go unsober myself and relive my nightmares.”

TIME TO GET SLOSHED

[ x] “A bit of friendly competition, perhaps?”

>>17117738
>[ ] “I’ll let you guys decide, I really don’t know.”

The party is more or less their territory. Let them show us around.

>>17117738
[ ] “I’ll let you guys decide, I really don’t know.”

>>17117738
We need a drink.

It should make socializing with the unspeakable horrors of the warp a little easier.

>>17117738
>“I’ll let you guys decide, I really don’t know.”

>>17117738
[X] “Grab a drink, have fun. I’m going to go unsober myself and relive my nightmares.”

>>17117738
This, khornettes be lovin dat shit yo
>[x] “A bit of friendly competition, perhaps?”

And this is my last post for tonight, me and my nat 20 are gonna spoon all night together

[x ] “I’ll let you guys decide, I really don’t know.”

>>17117738
[X] "I'll let you guys decide, I don't really know."

[ X] “A bit of friendly competition, perhaps?”

Ring a ding dong

rolled 6 = 6

>>17117738
Grab a drink. Rolling for how much we can drink.

rolled 14 = 14

>[1-7] “Grab a drink, have fun. I’m going to go unsober myself and relive my nightmares.”

>[8-14] “I’ll let you guys decide, I really don’t know.”

>[15-20] “A bit of friendly competition, perhaps?”

LET THE DICE DECIDE!

>>17117738

>[X] “Grab a drink, have fun. I’m going to go unsober myself and relive my nightmares.

>>17117738
Their choice.

>>17117738
[ ] “I’ll let you guys decide, I really don’t know.”

>>17117738
>[ ] “I’ll let you guys decide, I really don’t know.”
Better to let them choose.

rolled 17 = 17

>>17117756
>>17117759
>>17117770
>>17117771
>>17117793
>>17117797

This is going to go really, really badly.

[ ] “I’ll let you guys decide, I really don’t know.”

>>17117805
It fucking better.
Picture semi-related.

“I’ll let you girls figure it out, I don’t really know and to be honest I don’t know if I deserve to choose.”

The three damonettes look between each other, as though they can communicate without words. You watch for a minute as their expressions change, maybe they really can?

Finally the Nurglette leans back and turns to you.

“Well, we’ve decided to give you another shot, and we might even continue with our earlier… Plan. But there’s a catch.”

A catch? You don’t know if you like where this is going.

“We’ll give you such a sight your mortal eyes might well leap from your head in pleasure, but first, you have to put on a show for us.”

The three get up and grab onto you, leading you away from the party into a private room.

The lounge is empty save for you four, and they close the door behind you. Velvety seats sit in front of a stage illuminated by faint red lights.

Three stripper poles standing erect, dead center.

“Well, go on than, whelp. ENTERTAIN ME!” The Khornette grunts, giving you a shove toward the stage.

What is it they want you to do, exactly? Shit, you don’t know.

[ ] Magic tricks.

[ ] Time to get funky on this here stage.

[ ] Stand there, awkwardly.

This thread. All of it.
And why not, lets keep the ball rolling...
>[X] "I'll let you guys decide, I don't really know."

[x ] Magic tricks.

Show off exactly how dexterous those hands are.

>>17117831
[ ] Stand there, awkwardly.

>>17117831
>[X] Magic tricks.
Make doomrider appear and then
>[X] Time to get funky on this here stage.

rolled 4, 1, 1, 3, 1 = 10

>>17117831
Magic tricks

>>17117831
>[ ] Magic tricks.

We are making this happen.

Let them decide.
Eh, a bit busy right now. And a bit sad no continuation of troll post.

PS: No rolls unless demanded.

>>17117852
Stop rolling for fucks sake!

rolled 18 = 18

Magical tricks.

>>17117831
[x] Magic Tricks

>>17117857
Fuck you, I'll keep rolling till we get a 1.

[x] Stand there, awkwardly.

rolled 4 = 4

>>17117835
Well, since I am late to the last vote....

Got... to... get... FUNKEH!
>[X] Time to get funky on this here stage.
Put the music on.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgynbFoA9to

rolled 19 = 19

>[x] Magic tricks.

All day erry day

[ ] Magic tricks.

>>17117831
>[ ] Time to get funky on this here stage.
As long as they don't expect us to take off the hat.

Maybe we are performing a strip-tease show for the daughters of the Chaos Gods, but no officer of the Imperium will be parted from his hat!

[x] Stand there, awkwardly.

Spaghetti etc.

>>17117831
[ X] Time to get funky on this here stage.
BY THE EMPEROR WE WILL BOOGIE DOWN! EVEN IN DEATH YOU GET SERVED!
WE'RE GOING TO GET DOWN LIKE DOOMRIDER DOES COCAINE!

[X] Time to get funky on this here stage.

Work that pole like you've got daddy issues.

rolled 20 = 20

>>17117876

>Magic tricks for god's sake

>Make spaghetti fall out of the Khornett's pockets

[ X] Time to get funky on this here stage.

>>17117858
>>17117871
Our guardsman seem to be surprisingly competent. Wow.

[X] Time to get funky on this here stage.

But keep the hat on.

>>17117887

THE DICE HAVE SPOKEN

>>17117887
It's official, magic tricks.
STOP ROLLING, HIT F5, get 4chan+ or 4chanX for GOD'S SAKE

>>17117887
The Dice Gods (and probably Tzeentch as well) command it!

Magic tricks.
>>17117858
18
>>17117871
19
>>17117887
20

Rien de visage

>>17117898
While I am disappoint that we won't see Max getting funky, this should still be an entertaining show.

Magic tricks. Entertain Lil' D.

I believe the correct answer should be getting funky on the poles, but whatever.

>>17117887
>>17117858
>>17117871

>>17117903
Can we go for a combo?

Magically make your clothing disappear and get down on dat stage!

>>17117831
[x] Time to get funky on this here stage.
Hat stays firmly on though!

hey guys, we're in the warp, and rolled a nat 20 on perform magic tricks, hes going to turn into a greater daemon of tzeentch

“Dun-nun-nun-na NA NA NA NA!” You begin to sing as you start the magic show.

Out of a pocket in your threads, you pull out a pack of cards and start shuffling.

“Dun-nuh-nah nah, NAH NAH NA NAH!”

You being shuffling the cards furiously, the three girls staring up at you with “what the fuck am I watching” faces.

“Dah nah na nah na NAH!” You suddenly throw the cards with a snap of your fingers.

The deck flies out right at the girls.

The cards cutting the straps of their clothes…

And their dresses fall to the floor around their feet.

“POOF!” You yell.

>>17117917

Well, shit.

>>17117915
>Street leading from nat 18 to nat 20

Why, exactly, should it be our clothing that disappears?

>>17117926

By the emprah

>>17117926

EVERYTHING WENT BETTER THAN EXPECTED

>>17117926
Hell yeah.

>>17117926
YEAH
That ought to do the trick

>>17117926

>>17117926
oh my...

>>17117926

I like where this is going.

>>17117953
I see what you did there.

>>17117926
>Max at this very moment.

>>17116254
Well shit...

The three girls just stand there, faces a mixture of shock and awe. Cards litter the floor.

Oh Emprah.

Dem underwears.

The girls each blush hard, clearly having been caught completely off guard.

Tzeentch is raging from her position at the other end of the party, shredding her paper which reads “Plan”.

The Khornette is wearing a black lace set, complete with garterbelt. You notice she has a push-up bra, and her tits are slightly smaller than you had expected, a c maybe? Is she perhaps self conscious? Maybe with good reason, when you take a look at the Nurglette.

Her underwear is far more girly. Pink and more modest, though her bra struggles mightily it can’t completely contain those massive daemonic gifts. It is alarmingly cute.

The loli is in matching purple panties and bra, each with a printed symbol of Slaanesh on them. She is trying awkwardly to cover herself though.

“Ta-dah!”

>>17118023
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAGIC!

>>17118023

>Tzeentch is raging from her position at the other end of the party, shredding her paper which reads “Plan”.

I totally lost it there.
Umad, lord of change?

>>17118023
>Tzeentch is raging from her position at the other end of the party, shredding her paper which reads “Plan”
>her

Tzeentch is a woman?

>>17118023

>>17118056
>God

>>17118056
better go read the bizarro section of last thread.

All that shit about Tzeentch?

Yeah, that's canon ITT.

>>17116254
well wait, where's our wizard's hat? Unless the commissar hat counts...

>>17118056

LORD OF CHANGE.

I suppose Tzeentch can be whatever the damned hell it pleases.

>>17118067
The Commissar Hat always counts

>>17118067
All commissar's hats are magical.

They just won't tell the normal folk because if they knew, everyone would have one and go off on amazing ng adventures and that wouldn't be grimdark, would it?

Also, I think this explains everything that's happened in this thread.

>>17118099

My god, you're right! This all started with the hat!

The thread seems to be auto-saging.

Care to start a new one, OP?

>>17118106
and to think we almost lost Hat-Chan to that damned tyranids

>>17118106
To think, we almost let the tyranids eat it.

That would have been the end of this adventure!

>mfw no Heretical Love Quest

By the emprah, it must be so...

>>17118116
Fuck you.

“Hmph, I’m not going to let you have the last laugh. Prepare yourself, human, for your mind to be melted.” The Khornette snaps as she pushes you off the stage.

“Oh my, you have some very skilled hands there. Perhaps you can introduce them to me later, more… personally.” The Nurglette coos as she runs her hand down one of the poles.

“It was… A nice trick.” The loli shrugs.

Oh yeah, time for this show to begin. You can barely contain your anticipation.

More multicolored stage lights flip on and an unseen daemonic dj drops a fresh beat.

The Khornette wastes no time and begins grinding her ass into the pole as she rips her bra down and makes aggressive suggestive movements with her tongue.

The Nurglette is a bit more modest, and starts off by flipping upside-down and spinning slowly as she slides down the pole.

The loli looks you right in the eye as she grips the pole hard and close to her body, and begins licking it.

Their dancing continues, growing ever more intense, each one of them slowly stripping off their remaining garments.

Slowly, each of them staring right in your eyes, they walk down to you.

Blood rushing from your head, they all take a seat on your lap.

“Time to pick your date…” The Nurglette whispers in your ear before giving it a little nibble.

[ ] Khornette

[ ] Loli

[ ] Nurglette

[ ] “I honestly can’t decide…”

>>17118170
Nurglette. /tg/ LOVES Nurgle.

>>17118170
>[ ] “I honestly can’t decide…”

Too many wonderful things to choose form.

[X ] Nurglette
I DEMAND THIS TO HAPPEN!

>>17118170
>>[x ] Khornette

SPERM FOR THE SPERM GOD

rolled 20 = 20

>[x] Khornette
>[x] Khornette
>[x] Khornette
>[x] Khornette
>[x] Khornette

>>17118170
There is obviously only one choice here, drool and mumbe incoherently, and finally whisper "beautiful"

Nurglette! By the Emprah let it be so!

Next, we bone big T in lieu of big E. I mean, there aren't any Tzeentchette around!

Also... That's it? I had hoped that there were more to the magic trick. Like pulling a string of krak grenades and purity seals from your mouth, pulling out a live squig, a chainsword, a powersword, a plasmacannon, and a void grenade out of the commisariat cap, and juggling them.

Of course, you'd probably need the blessing of big T to do stuffs like that.

>>17118170
>[ ] Khornette

She still owes us for the whole killing deal.

>>17118170
[X] “I honestly can’t decide…”

My mind isn't melted and are you sure that one of you can melt it sufficiently one your own, and what kind of monster would I be if I separated the three of you from each other?

{x} Slaneeshi loli

>>17118170

[X] Loli

Just to spite those fuckers from earlier.

>>17118170
Godamnit, why we can't have the three?
[ ] “I honestly can’t decide…”

>>17118170
[X] "I honestly can't decide..."
Either the best among them steps forth or they all 1) take turns, 2) enjoy us simultaneously.

[X] Nurglette

>>17118170

[x] loli

Actually
>[x] all of them

Lets keep the hat on, its our swag after all

>>17118212
>>17118209
So very much seconded.

rolled 5 = 5

>[X] “I honestly can’t decide…”
This! This has potential! Imagine it. All of them. Not one, not two, but all three!

We can do it. We just have to roll hard enough! For ours are the dice that will roll into the Heavens!

>>17118198

Welp....

>>17118170
nurglette gawddamn.

rolled 2 = 2

>>17118170
Max here escaped ABADDON, DEFEATED DOOMRIDER IN AN HONORABLE JOUST, AND SURVIVED THE HORROR FISH, IN ONE DAY.
There's enough baddass for all the ladies.

>>17118170
I feel like we owe it to the loli. We did try to kill her, after all.

[X] Nurglette

rolled 17 = 17

All of them

>>17116254
torn between
[ ] Nurglette
[ ] Loli
eh, i can imagine khornette being nothing but pure anger sex/snu-snu... which doesn't sound too pleasent really...

>>17118200
that's "drool and mumble incoherently"

I can't type.

>>17118212

Actually, changing my vote to 'can't decide'. Or do what this guy >>17118200 said.

>>17118227
SHIT! I DIDN'T MEAN TO ROLL! I DIDN'T MEAN TO ROLL!

>>17118170
Can't decide! Choose the best one and make it graphic! I want a "why boner"

>>17118198
go to hell

>>17118235
seconded

[ ] “I honestly can’t decide…”

Get ALL the ladies!

[ ] “I honestly can’t decide…”

>>17118221
Nope

>>17118227
Nope

>>17118235
Almost...

>>17118198
WINRAR!

“I just can’t decide, it’s too hard of a choice.” You finally concede.

The three look at each other, communicating silently again.

Roll for luck.

[x] nurglette

Cuz I'm a nurgle bro

rolled 11 = 11

>>17118271
I hate it when we have to roll and then everybody rolls and then a 20 but then a 1.

>>17118198
I want to say "you choose all!" (be the overlord) ... but this post. I agrees with it.

>>17118271
Can't you just take that one?
>>17118198

>>17118271
Rolling.

>>17118246

That gives me an idea. Let's have Max ask his 'little Inquisitor' for admit. Something along the lines of looking down and saying "Your move little guy."

rolled 5 = 5

luck be my lady tonight, plus a daemonette.

GODDAMN /tg/ YOU BETTER NOT HAVE FUCKED US.

rolled 12 = 12

>>17118271

rolled 16 = 16

>>17118271
Please just give us a good end. This is too awesome to get fucked over on. Rolling anyway.

rolled 7 = 7

>>17118271
Byron blessed!

rolled 13 = 13

>>17118271

rolled 9 = 9

>>17118271

DICE FOR THE DICE GODS!

rolled 16 = 16

>>17118271
COME ON DICE GODS

rolled 17 = 17

>>17118286

this,

>>17118293
I'd say that's okay-ish.
>in b4 some idiot keeps rolling until he manages to get a nat 1.

rolled 11 = 11

>>17118289

Whoops

>>17118311
Yeah, everybody stop, we averaged up pretty well.
Unless you're cheating.
Then don't get caught.

Rolled 14= 14
So we gonna get laid with some heresy or what?

rolled 13 = 13

>>17118311
The dice gods are fickle.

COME OOOOON THREESOME

rolled 8 = 8

>>17118311

Did somebody say nat 1, because I think somebody said nat 1.

rolled 2 = 2

Dice, all right

>>17118271

dice+1d20

May Emprah preserve me and may my lucky boxers do the trick.

rolled 7 = 7

I hope this goes well

rolled 8 = 8

>>17118328

Don't you dare

rolled 13 = 13

This isn't going to happen is it...

rolled 6, 5 = 11

>>17118332

Oh wow, apparently I'm thoroughly incompetent. Maybe it's time for some sleep.

>>17118342
For 2d6, that is damn impressive.
Rest knowing you did your duty for Max.

rolled 3 = 3

The rolls are so mediocre! We need one nat 20! JUST ONE!

rolled 8 = 8

rolling for the rolling god

They finally turn back to you, finished with their silent communiqué.

“Well, it can’t be helped I guess. You’ll just have to take all three of us.” Khornette says, swirling a finger around on your pants.

You gulp. While the thought of having not one, but THREE of these girls all up on your junk is exciting, realizing how difficult the task will be to pleasure them all later is daunting.
The three girls put their underwear back on, making sure you get a nice show of it. The amount of ass and titties in your face is obscene.

You love it.

They repair their dresses with a bit of daemonic power and put them back on as well, before finally grabbing you by the arm.

“Time to party!” The loli shouts.

“The Emprah’s work is never finished.” You fist pump.

rolled 11 = 11

By the Emprah, l beseech thee dice!

rolled 8 = 8

rolling

>>17118365
OHOHOHOOH
YES

rolled 15 = 15

>>17118365

Oh, god, yes. Papa N, you have my thanks. And all my boners.

...

>>17118365
Max.
Conquering the universe for Mankind, one booty call at a time.

>>17118365
And it will all go to shit in T-5...

I really need to study some shit for my exam tomorrow and I still have a pile of stats homework to finish before the 9th.

Plus I kind of want to devote an entire thread to the party.
>and daemonette threesome

Not sure when the next thread is going to be either, this week is going to be hell. But after this week I'm on break and want to keep up my average of a thread every 2 days or so.

we need to construct a chapter of space marines that follows the true path of the emperor: partyin, surfin, and chillin

>>17118406
Whatever it takes to keep the quality up, man.
You have /tg/'s undying respect and admiration for this public service.

rolled 9 = 9

>>17118406


Good game, Papa N. May you smite your foes and ride upon the shoulders of gods!

>>17118409
Alright man, I'm down.

>40,000
>not sticking around for the after-thread
>ISHYGDDT

The Emperor downs another pitcher of his favorite beer as he laughs at Typhus’s Ork joke. That dude is seriously a comedy gold mine.

“Ah damn, gotta drain the “psycher”, be right back.” He says, slapping Typhus on the back, who turns to tell Slaanesh one about a Tech-priest walking into a bar.

He stumbles a bit as he makes his way to the little gods room, finally relieving himself.

“Oh Terrah, that’s better…”

Suddenly, the lights go out.

“What in my name?” He mutters, spinning around.

Tzeentch is standing there in all her glory.

…Holding her head as she looks at the ground, completely lost on what to do next.

“Emperor… I…” She stammers.

He looks at her quizzically.

“Ohhhh… Screw the plan!” She shouts, throwing herself at him.

>>17118519
Drawfag! We need a drawfag!
Is there a drawfag in the house?

>>17118519

IT'S A TRAP

>>17118519
Good. The Emperor needs to get him some too.
I mean... other then Bolter Bitches.

>>17118519
tzeentch
'screw the plan'
the end is nigh

>>17118482
hes the chapter master

"Tzeentch, what are you..." The Emperor stammers, as he looks down at the red-faced chaos goddess.

"Quiet, you fool! Don't ruin this..." She says, before working to strip off her armor.

The Emperor is a bit stunned as he takes in the sight.

"Ugh, this is so hard to remove." Tzeentch grinds her teeth as she pulls at his codpiece.

>brain: God damn it keep studying
>boner: no

"I'ts... Its my first time, so be gentle, ok?" The raven goddess says quietly, face burning.

Slowly, she lowers her queen of change toward his golden throne...