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  • File : 1322951298.jpg-(51 KB, 620x388, HeresyHorus.jpg)
    51 KB Warhammer 40k: Heretical Love Part III Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)17:28 No.17095883  
    Thread I: Sorita - http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/17067317/

    Thread II: Farseer - http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/17073735/

    Thin streams of sunlight pour through the morning dew of the fronds above you. Golden, exuberant, and warm.

    You can hear the soft waves as they creep back and forth across the beach, and various birds singing for joy of a fresh day.

    The reassuring sounds begin to put you back to sleep. The small shelter you built keeps just enough of the sun out that you think you’ll drift off for another few hours.

    All while so comfortably warm, though oddly your front seems warmest despite facing away from the entrance…

    Your eyes pry open just a crack, but you can’t see much through the red hair.

    Wait wut.

    Your pupils dilate as your heart goes from a relative calm to being chased through the jungle by a Eversor assassin in a running battle of drug-fueled destruction that only fate can decide.

    It is at that moment you realize, the air around you is actually quite cool, a bit uncomfortably so even.

    What’s keeping you warm, in fact, is that you are currently spooning the fuck out of Esh.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)17:29 No.17095895
    Badger shit cunts, this is bad. If she wakes up, she’ll hit you with that spear. Power of a bolter, accuracy of an Exitus rifle. One hit from that and it’s all over.

    Unfortunately, you can’t ignore the fact that her barely-covered ass has apparently parked itself right on your dick, which itself is… Well… Fully enjoying the morning, as it were.

    You swallow hard, mind racing in some desperate bid to come up with an exit strategy. Your other mind is telling you to have at it and patting you on the back in celebration.

    Further damning the situation, your arm is wrapped around her chest tightly, and you can make out some soft underboob.

    While it is true you aren’t sure how she will react to this situation, the thought crosses your mind that perhaps it would be best to not find out…

    Roll for stealth.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)17:31 No.17095917
    >I apologize for the delay, got stuck at work

    But anyways, thread on
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)17:32 No.17095929
    rolled 1 = 1

    Well this'll end well.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)17:33 No.17095945
         File1322951633.png-(39 KB, 256x256, 1295151642205.png)
    39 KB

    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)17:34 No.17095948
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)17:34 No.17095953
    I would be gone when you start.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)17:37 No.17095988
         File1322951820.png-(230 KB, 517x316, 1318218909812.png)
    230 KB
    rolled 3 = 3

    First roll a natural one?
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)17:37 No.17096000
    wuts an esh?
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)17:38 No.17096013

    Read the other goddamned threads, fool. They're linked in the OP.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)17:40 No.17096035
    Just as you start to try to disengage yourself from this situation, your own body betrays you.

    The sound of you ripping ass, a long-winded release of concentrated warp energy, fills the small shelter…

    “JUST AS PLANNED!!” Tzeentch crows happily from inside the warp.

    Esh stirs slightly, and for a brief moment it appears that perhaps she will remain asleep.

    “Enjoy the moment while it lasts, mon-keigh. For it shall be your last.”

    Well, it was nice knowing yourself.

    Eshwe sits up, her neck cracking as it turns around to face you. Her normally turquoise eyes are now glowing with arcane energy as they lock onto you.

    “Wait! Wait, Esh, this is a misunderstanding!” You stammer, backing up and searching desperately for your pants.

    Esh smiles, but it isn’t a pleasant like “Oh ok, good morning though.” Kind of smile. More like a “I will enjoy tearing you apart with my mind.” Grin of madness.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)17:42 No.17096060
         File1322952134.jpg-(62 KB, 500x620, 1322893825674.jpg)
    62 KB

    Oh, shit got real.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)17:49 No.17096157

    Oh, great...
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)17:51 No.17096184
    “Damn it Esh, this is your fault! I made you your own place to sleep, what in the Emprah’s name are you doing in my bed!?”

    You don’t think this last desperate bid will matter, the air has begun to crackle ominously with energies you cannot even begin to fathom. A small little rat-like thing scurries away, as though even it can sense shit is about to go south.

    Esh’s eyes grow even more intense, you can no longer make out her pupils. They are smoldering so bright you can’t even look at them without it hurting your head.

    But then, just as suddenly as they had ignited, her eyes returned to normal. Esh looks around slightly before turning back to you.

    “I’m not putting it past you to have swifted me away for your… Carnal desires… But I can’t prove it.” She sighs as she crosses her arms.

    “I’m going to change.” She adds.

    You relax as relief floods though your body. Until Esh clocks you overhead.

    “Oi, you, mon-keigh! When a girl says she’s going to change, that means you get out of the room! Go find something for breakfast.”

    Esh grabs one of her fishing rods and starts swinging away at you until she herds you out of the shelter. Once you are finally outside she tosses the rod after you.

    Well at least you survived the morning. Hell, a part of you even enjoyed it.

    You are a bit hungry, you admit. Though one thought seems to be shoving the others aside. Inside that small shelter, which is in no way wind-proof, is a naked Farseer.

    [ ] No, boner. Go find something for Eshwe to make for breakfast.

    [ ] Wait, she didn’t let you grab your pants. You might need those, better go grab em.

    [ ] Attempt to peek through one of the many small holes.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)17:53 No.17096202
    rolled 15 = 15

    >[x] Wait, she didn’t let you grab your pants. You might need those, better go grab em.

    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)17:54 No.17096216
    [X] Wait, she didn’t let you grab your pants. You might need those, better go grab em.

    She can't fault us for wanting those pants, right?
    Well, she could, but going around pantsless is no way to be fishing.
    >> Commissarial Hat !!/1tpKWuVAGC 12/03/11(Sat)17:54 No.17096224
    [x] Wait, she didn’t let you grab your pants. You might need those, better go grab em.

    Thank god I came back for this before it became shit.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)18:05 No.17096335
    A guardsman without his pants is like a boy wifout ‘iz choppah, sumfin bout it aint right.

    “Hold up, Esh, I need my pants!”

    You lean back down to the entrance of the shelter. It takes a moment for your eyes to adjust to the dimness.

    Esh is frozen, her face a look of shock. Back to you, arms outstretched above her. Wearing nothing but a gaze that says you had better go chance a swim with Ra’alman because he might be more merciful.

    A sudden blast of psyonic energy throws you backward, and as you careen through the air, you can’t help but still picture that bare heretical xeno ass. Worth it? Maybe.

    You land face down in the sand. As you start to get up, a rough foot on your head shoves you back down.

    “If I didn’t have somewhere I needed to be, I would enjoy taking my time murdering you, you… DOUBLE MON-KEIGH!!!”

    Esh doesn’t let you up, instead choosing to grind your face in the sand.

    “You might be of some use to me later though, so I’ll give you a way to contact me in case I need to summon you, whelp.”

    A flash of searing pain explodes in your head, your jaw contorting in agony. You suddenly know what frequency to contact Esh on.

    The Farseer is nowhere to be found by the time you pick yourself off of the beach.

    You wash the sand off in the alien sea, making sure to stay close to shore and keeping an eye out for the fish-fag from yesterday, as you ponder what to do next…
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)18:07 No.17096347
    [ ] Check out the Tau presence at the hot springs, supposed to be a nice place for a bath.

    [ ] Scout the Warp disturbance nearby. The Daemonettes are both sexy and terrifying.

    [ ] Spy on what has the Orks acting so weird, you’ve never seen them like THIS.

    [ ] The Necrons are surely up to something sinister…

    [ ] Find the Mechanicus and see if anyone is still alive there.

    [ ] You don’t know much about Dark Eldar, but you aren’t
    exactly sure you want to know more.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:09 No.17096366
         File1322953784.jpg-(38 KB, 604x483, 1298822515929.jpg)
    38 KB
    rolled 4 = 4

    >[x] Check out the Tau presence at the hot springs, supposed to be a nice place for a bath.

    There has been a distinct lack of delicious blue-skinned females in this story so far, that needs to be rectified.
    >> Commissarial Hat !!/1tpKWuVAGC 12/03/11(Sat)18:09 No.17096367
    >[ ] Find the Mechanicus and see if anyone is still alive there.

    Though I'd like to be able to try to explain myself to Esh.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:13 No.17096400
    >[ ] Scout the Warp disturbance nearby.
    Maybe we'll meet up with Doom Rider again for some partying. And you know the daemonettes will be "friendlier" than the Farseer...
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:14 No.17096409
    Tau presence!
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:16 No.17096425
         File1322954178.jpg-(170 KB, 828x547, daemonette 17.jpg)
    170 KB
    Fuck yes.

    Dem daemonettes, man...
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)18:16 No.17096432
    Of coarse, we could always activate the trap card and see how deep the rabbit hole goes.

    >hue hue hue
    >> Commissarial Hat !!/1tpKWuVAGC 12/03/11(Sat)18:18 No.17096451
    Jumping from mechanicus to tau. Better get them out of the way.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:19 No.17096458
         File1322954351.jpg-(232 KB, 914x1200, 1319251573477.jpg)
    232 KB
    rolled 20 = 20


    Whilst I like the idea of Daemonettes, the idea of dat Tau ass intrigues me more. Voting for Tau.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:20 No.17096464
    Cannot tell if failing or succeeding in our quest to profit.

    Ahh well, time will tell.

    Let's go see da orks.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:20 No.17096469
         File1322954424.jpg-(78 KB, 1000x500, 1313891682954.jpg)
    78 KB

    Let's not get into /d/ territory TOO early, shall we?
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:20 No.17096472
    Warp! Warp! Warp!

    I want to bro-fist Doomrider.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:21 No.17096484
         File1322954493.jpg-(52 KB, 640x480, 1274943551784.jpg)
    52 KB
    rolled 15 = 15

    Guys, we've thus far failed to get any.

    Get your shit together.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:21 No.17096489
    I guess the dice gods have spoken.

    Lets find out what a little blueberry pie tastes like. For the greater good!
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:24 No.17096509
    Hence my daemonette suggestion. We'd be getting some, whether we wanted it or not.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:25 No.17096515
         File1322954700.jpg-(25 KB, 396x643, 1310779576403.jpg)
    25 KB

    I figured that was kind of the running joke
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:28 No.17096551
         File1322954892.png-(3 KB, 199x176, trollface.png)
    3 KB
    So it's much closer to real life than most quest threads, amirite?
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:28 No.17096555

    Well we did just try it on with a Sororitas, then a Farseer, two of the possibly single hardest groups of females to bed in the known universe.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)18:28 No.17096560
    You decide that checking out the Tau first is probably your best bet. The hot springs are close by and surrounded by thick woods which should offer you good cover to observe from.

    You could also use a bath, salt water leaves a sticky residue.

    A nearby Sentinel makes for quick travel, or would, if you had any idea how to drive one.

    “Empruh titty fucking Terra!” You yell as you faceplant the walking vehicle into the sand. Oh well, you are better off on foot from here anyways. What did the driving instructor call you at basic training again? A “being of unfathomable destruction whilst driving, do not allow within three meters of any controls.” Or something like that.

    “Alright, let’s do this shit.” You mutter as you start sneaking through the woods. You may not be a Stormtrooper (not that you were too short to try out), but you can be pret-ty damn sneaky.

    The damp ground and thick foliage make it slow going, and you really hope you don’t just stumble into a fucking Kroot or something.

    Finally you see more light streaming through the canopy and you can smell a tinge of sulfur. You are close.

    Belly crawling now, you avoid a two foot long caterpillar, keeping a close eye on it, when suddenly your head bumps into something hard.

    Looking up you stare into the face… Thing… Of a crisis battle suit. A plethora of guns staring your right in the face.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:30 No.17096577
         File1322955042.png-(27 KB, 325x265, knapp01.png)
    27 KB

    You took on the great fish-lord of Vagis V legend, this should be small fry
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)18:34 No.17096606
    You fully accept your swift demise before noticing the hatch is open, and the cockpit unoccupied. What appears to be a thin yellow skin-tight outfit of some kind hanging off of it.

    You sneak away from the suit, finding a bit of high ground next to a particularly large tree.

    Poking your head out from the bushes ever so slightly, you are completely startled at what you see.

    Down below you, fully visible in the middle of the spring, is a lone Tau

    …And she is gloriously naked.

    You watch, utterly infatuated, as she pours water down her front. Soap bubbles run down between her perfectly formed size F, perky and yet round, greater goods.

    “Oh this is such heresy…” You groan quietly as you feel a swelling in your pants.

    You have never been this close to a Tau, but this one is way different from what you’ve seen before. For starters, clearly a woman.

    Her skin is a lighter hue of blue, maybe from lack of sunlight crammed in that suit all day? Bright violet hair falls just past her shoulders. She also looks young, not that you really know what a young Tau girl looks like, but certainly nothing like the grizzled fire warriors you are used to. Just… Young. Like someone your age would look, if they had blue skin.

    You know this is textbook heresy, the bolter bitches would be roasting you alive if they knew. “Thou shall not extend thy wood over Xenos.” Or some such. You can’t look away though, eyes glued to the soft curvy body innocently washing itself before you.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:35 No.17096620
    We have made contact, now to be polite we must sing their native greeting song.

    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)18:35 No.17096621
    The Tau girl reaches down with a cloth and soaps up her plump ass. You find yourself subconsciously fiddling for the mark IIV K.West-pattern sun shield goggles you left with your old gear, as you bite your bottom lip.

    She drops the cloth accidentally and starts to bend down to retrieve it.

    “Oh Terra…” You lean forward for a better view.


    A twig cracks under your knee and you stop moving, stop breathing.

    The Tau girl whirls around and freezes, she clearly sees you.

    “Kyaaaaa!” She yells in a high, surprisingly girly voice, before dropping into the water leaving just her head exposed.

    Before you can react, she produces a pistol and points it at you with a shaking hand.

    “Wait!” You plead, “Wait, I’m not here to fight!” You hold out your hands to show you are unarmed, weapons in the dirt behind you.

    The Tau girl looks at you wide-eyed, terrified. Her cheeks have turned a brilliant pink. “D-did y-you see?” She stammers, still pointing the pistol.

    “Only a little! None of your bits!” You lie quickly and hopefully convincingly.

    Roll for speechcraft
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:37 No.17096636
    rolled 16 = 16

    Come on dice gods, don't fail me now.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:38 No.17096642
    rolled 4 = 4

    Um... have you considered accepting the Emperor as your personal lord and savior today?
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:39 No.17096653
    >praising the emperor, and not the random number god
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:39 No.17096654
         File1322955582.jpg-(171 KB, 442x434, 1322672007363.jpg)
    171 KB
    rolled 14 = 14


    So heretical, but so worth it.

    >> Commissarial Hat !!/1tpKWuVAGC 12/03/11(Sat)18:42 No.17096682
    Thank god.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)18:44 No.17096712
    She doesn’t look like she buys it entirely, but she lowers the gun slightly. “A-are you the… The only one here?” She asks quietly.

    If you didn’t know any better you would have to think she is actually… Embarrassed?

    “Yep, just me.” You tell her in your best soothing voice,
    “Pretty sure I’m the last guardsman on the planet too.”

    “What d-do you want?” She asks, still hiding her body, though the pistol is no longer trained on your head.

    You think hard. You aren’t really sure why you are here, sure the skull data and whatnot. But really, why ARE you here?

    [ ] “Nothing, I’m just following a lead on Tau presence here.”

    [ ] “Just a soak, care if I join you?”

    [ ] “I just need to ask, those are real right?”
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:46 No.17096727
    [x ] “Just a soak, care if I join you?”
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:47 No.17096728
    [X] “Just a soak, care if I join you?”

    We do need a bath, after all.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:47 No.17096729
    rolled 6 = 6



    >[ ] “Just a soak, care if I join you?”


    >[ ] “I just need to ask, those are real right?”

    Imma go with A.

    >[x] “Just a soak, care if I join you?”


    >> Commissarial Hat !!/1tpKWuVAGC 12/03/11(Sat)18:47 No.17096730
    [x] “Just a soak, care if I join you?”
    >> Commissarial Hat !!/1tpKWuVAGC 12/03/11(Sat)18:48 No.17096738
    Don't roll unless it's needed. It usually leads to poor results
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:51 No.17096769

    we'll have to fix this

    take a combat knife, and make her a cute short cut.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:51 No.17096770
    Just a soak, care if I join you?”
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:51 No.17096773

    That makes it so much more entertaining.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:53 No.17096785
         File1322956402.jpg-(12 KB, 159x153, 1310423039782.jpg)
    12 KB

    I doubt forcibly cutting all her hair off will make it any easier to get some delicious Tau poon.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:54 No.17096790
    Then we'll use diplomacy or some shit. But a tau girl needs to have short hair.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:54 No.17096795
         File1322956490.png-(231 KB, 810x636, call_on_me_tau_by_gregmustache(...).png)
    231 KB
    >all her hair

    nah, not all of it.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:55 No.17096797
    what tau girl needs is a dick in her vagoo
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:55 No.17096806
         File1322956558.jpg-(9 KB, 303x166, 1322671423017.jpg)
    9 KB

    >dem hooves

    Not even furry, just love me dem alien chicks
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:56 No.17096814
    does anyone have a none 4chan gallery were i can fap?
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:56 No.17096815
    It's like built-in high heels.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:57 No.17096824
    uh, rule 34.paheal? tg booru? tgchan?
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:58 No.17096831
    thanks /tg/ youre the BEST
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)18:58 No.17096832

    Booru's probably your best bet. Pahael is always slow as fuck.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:00 No.17096847
         File1322956808.jpg-(112 KB, 1200x1453, cata tau.jpg)
    112 KB
    I hope her pilot suit consists in this.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)19:03 No.17096882
    “Just a soak, care if I join you?” You ask nonchalantly, as though this had really been your plan all along.

    The Tau girls face blushes even harder.

    “W-w-w-well it is wrong not to share…” She stammers, clearly torn between an indoctrinated belief and the fact that she is quite without clothes.

    Wasting no time you strip down to your heresy-blockers and cannonball into the warm water.

    The dried salt is stripped away from your skin, you instantly feel refreshed and for the first time since clambering out of a pile of dead Orks, clean.

    “Wow, I can see why you were in here.” You remark as you wipe the water off of your face.

    The Tau girl is in front of you, everything under her eyes is now below the water as she watches you.

    “Hey, relax, I’m really not going to hurt you, I swear by the Emprah.” You smile and try to look as friendly as a peeping tom can be.

    The rest of her head pops up and she smiles at you weakly, her face still flush.

    “Well, I’ll admit it is nice having company, I don’t really like being alone.” She mutters as she pushes her two index fingers together, eyes darting between you and the water.

    Without warning the Tau girl shrieks and jumps, eyes wide with fright. She runs right at you and you both crash backwards into the water. Blue xeno funbags now pressing hard against your face.

    “Hey now, let’s at least see a movie first or something…” You laugh as you try to stand back up, face still entrapped by soft skin.

    “Wha-what?” She stammers, looking at you, much of which is buried in her cleavage.

    “Well I mean, call me old fashioned but…”

    She cuts you off by jumping on you, wrapping her legs around your torso.

    “NOOOOHHHH, THE WATER, LOOK!” She screams in fright.

    Barely managing to escape from the titty-trap, you look down into the water below, and gulp hard at what you see.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:05 No.17096910
         File1322957146.png-(9 KB, 500x500, moexeno.png)
    9 KB
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:06 No.17096921
         File1322957213.png-(818 KB, 1600x1200, 1318336066160.png)
    818 KB

    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:07 No.17096927
    Why not rather in the pooper?
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:08 No.17096938
    Do we even know what sort of orifices a Tau has down there?
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:09 No.17096948

    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:10 No.17096955
    if we go by fanart, a pooper, and something else. Well, if she's a futa we can at least stick it in her urethra.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:12 No.17096967
    >and something else
    That sounds like our objective.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:13 No.17096973
    not necessarily. But, say, I wouldn't mind even a boob-shaped bladder.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:14 No.17096986

    A wet vagina-like orifice. Only it has tongues. At least two of them.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:16 No.17096994
    Oh my...

    I vote for surviving whatever peril is lurking in the water.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:16 No.17096997
    Or an orifice with three thick sensitive labias.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:17 No.17097004
    hit it until it's dead

    she had a pistol, let's grab it
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:20 No.17097025


    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:22 No.17097039
    pick one.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:24 No.17097051
    I'm pretty sure there can be cannon's in fanfiction.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:24 No.17097053
    10/10 you win life
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:25 No.17097059
    >entire thread is fanfiction.
    >complaining about a tongue-in-cheek response to a question that uses a fanfic as a source.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:25 No.17097060

    Thanks. I was especially proud of the 's.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)19:27 No.17097076
    Tyranids. Little ones.

    “What is this, I don’t even…” But you are cut off as she grips you even harder, crushing you with her massive boobage.

    “I hate tyranids! Help me!” She cries, still gripping you hard.

    Unable to see, but not wanting to be submerged in a pool full of ‘nids, you do your best to start wading to shore.

    “Mphf mmphh smeeee” You mumble, mouth blocked.

    She stops panicking for a brief moment. “Huh?” She asks.
    It takes a bit of effort to wedge yourself further between her tits so you can clear your face and look up at her.

    “I can’t see.”

    She must have realized now that she is naked, wet, and gripping you hard enough to give you a vivid feeling of her space communist parts. Either Tau girls don’t grow any hair down there, or this one shaves.

    Her face turns almost entirely purple, still, she doesn’t let go.

    “Just get me out of here…” She pleads.

    Well, it isn’t like you to deny a naked female clinging to you.
    Walking out is difficult, the bottom of the spring is full of rocks and sudden drop-offs.

    It doesn’t help that the little ‘nids have also started biting at you.

    “ow Ow OW!” You are running as fast as you can, head bouncing into breasts, as you try to escape the clutches of those annoying little fucks.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)19:29 No.17097085
    Your feet finally meet dry land and you dash up the slope as fast as you can, not sure whether or not the bugs are still giving chase.

    A root catches you and before you can react, you are falling. You twist mid-air, as it would be more than a little rude to break your fall with someone you just met.

    Your head hits hard and there is a ringing in your ears, but you are alive.

    “Ugghh.” Is all you manage to groan, rubbing at your temples.

    That is, until you realize there is something warm and wet grinding into your groin.

    The Tau girl is still on top of you, her pelvis right against yours. Your boxers are soaked right through and were thin to begin with, and you have some kind of fear-erection. Oh the heresy…

    She is trembling, hands gripping you at the shoulders tightly, breasts dangling inches above your face.

    Only you realize, she isn’t looking at you, but at something behind you.

    You crane your neck hard, which is painful after the fall, and see the soulless grin of a Hive Tyrant smiling at you from but yards away.

    …Acid dripping from what looks like some kind of pelvis-mounted bile cannon.

    [ ] You managed to land next to your laspistol and sword, stand and fight.

    [ ] No fuck that, grab her and run.

    [ ] Mountain of cocaine.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:29 No.17097090

    they want a bit of dat ass too, heh?
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:30 No.17097099
    mountain of cocaine
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:32 No.17097108
    [X] Mountain of cocaine.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:32 No.17097109
    Slice that motherfucker down.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:32 No.17097112
    [x]No Fuck her and run. Fix'd
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:33 No.17097119
         File1322958804.png-(440 KB, 600x480, 600px-Doomrider_NANANANANA.png)
    440 KB
    >[x] Mountain of cocaine

    >> Commissarial Hat !!/1tpKWuVAGC 12/03/11(Sat)19:33 No.17097120
    [ ] You managed to land next to your laspistol and sword, stand and fight.

    Save the cocaine as last resort or for when we meet the demonettes
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:33 No.17097121
    [x ] You managed to land next to your laspistol and sword, stand and fight.

    Fight anything and everything that is not either bro, or delicious xenos ass!
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:35 No.17097127
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:35 No.17097132


    >> Fireman Prime 12/03/11(Sat)19:35 No.17097139
    rolled 11 = 11

    >[X] You managed to land next to your laspistol and sword, stand and fight.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:36 No.17097143
    >[X] You managed to land next to your laspistol and sword, stand and fight.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:36 No.17097146
    rolled 1 = 1

    A chance to watch a hive tyrant and doomrider engage in fisticuffs, I say!

    >[x] Mountain of cocaine.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:37 No.17097148
         File1322959020.jpg-(30 KB, 487x365, buzz.jpg)
    30 KB
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:37 No.17097156
    ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shitstix
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)19:37 No.17097160

    "Your own your own skank!"

    You snatch up your gear and jump to your feet, breaking into a sprint.

    "Wait, please don't go!" She pleads as the Hive Tyrant rushes in at her.

    You run as fast as your legs can carry you, looking back over your shoulder.

    The Hive Tyrant has busied itself introducing her xeno bits to it's epic gun wang, while at the same time chewing off her left arm.

    "Its not your fight Max, its not your fight." You try to reassure yourself as you feel your soul leave you in disgust.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:37 No.17097161
         File1322959067.gif-(1 MB, 350x191, 1317971721878.gif)
    1 MB
    >Mountain of cocaine

    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:38 No.17097169
         File1322959121.jpg-(35 KB, 459x356, 1318965592365.jpg)
    35 KB


    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:39 No.17097174


    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:39 No.17097178
    Thats not what i meant (face palm), your supposed to put your wee wee in her vagoo, before ripper kun attacks
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:39 No.17097179
         File1322959199.jpg-(55 KB, 638x472, 1320871034530.jpg)
    55 KB
    you best be trollin Papa-N
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:40 No.17097181
    Why do we have to choose between fanfiction and artillery?
    >> Commissarial Hat !!/1tpKWuVAGC 12/03/11(Sat)19:41 No.17097191
    Since the first thread he's had troll post in there from time to time.
    >> Fireman Prime 12/03/11(Sat)19:41 No.17097192
         File1322959284.jpg-(25 KB, 300x331, that makes me angry.jpg)
    25 KB
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:41 No.17097194
         File1322959286.gif-(1.96 MB, 267x200, 1320971066040.gif)
    1.96 MB

    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:42 No.17097198
    a skank owning a skank. Skankception!
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:42 No.17097201
         File1322959353.jpg-(28 KB, 356x379, 58549_1492446163297_1598322630(...).jpg)
    28 KB

    Yes, but figuring out which can be sometimes tricky
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:42 No.17097207
    cause nothin is quite as sexy as a 88 flak cannon
    >> Commissarial Hat !!/1tpKWuVAGC 12/03/11(Sat)19:43 No.17097212
    Not really, at least not yet.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:44 No.17097220
         File1322959453.jpg-(12 KB, 300x271, Finestone 88mm.jpg)
    12 KB

    Just look at the fucking barrel on dat thing

    Look at it
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:44 No.17097224
    Stand and fight!
    We've beaten Abaddon and Doomrider so far, a hive tyrant is small time!
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:46 No.17097233
    From last thread:



    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:47 No.17097238
    File deleted.
    and then this happened
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)19:47 No.17097245
         File1322959649.gif-(11 KB, 414x302, huehuehue.gif)
    11 KB
    You slow down to catch your breath, the screams of the Tau girl gone now, having grown ever more quiet as the life faded from her.

    You collapse of exhaustion, tears streaking down your face as you realize what it is you really just did.

    With a shaking hand you raise your laspistol to your own head.

    "See you later, space cowboy..."

    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:48 No.17097254
         File1322959706.jpg-(76 KB, 407x405, Advice Guardsman - Eternal Dar(...).jpg)
    76 KB
    We can't abandon her to 'nid rape and nomming.

    Shine a flashlight at that Hive Tyrant while it's distracted!
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:48 No.17097256
    rolled 20 = 20

    These nids were in the water. Were still wet. Something is dripping. Were fishermen.
    [X] You managed to land next to your laspistol and sword, stand and fight.
    >> Commissarial Hat !!/1tpKWuVAGC 12/03/11(Sat)19:48 No.17097259
    ♥ that's just cute.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:48 No.17097262
    >[x] Mountain of cocaine.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:49 No.17097267
         File1322959768.jpg-(54 KB, 640x512, 1291378437149.jpg)
    54 KB
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:50 No.17097273
    Wait a minute, our soul will go to the Warp and be trolled for all eternity by Doom Rider!

    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:51 No.17097282

    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:51 No.17097289
    Fucking dice-gods and fishermen, how does it work?
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:51 No.17097290
    >Implying we wouldn't get our own side-cart on his bike for besting him in a joust
    >Implying we wouldn't be bros with the best daemon prince ever.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:51 No.17097298
    I see the HUEHUEHUEHUE card getting throwed around these threads.
    Are you brazillian?
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)19:54 No.17097318
    >no but my girlfriend is

    You snatch up your belt and tear open one of your pouches. Dumping the contents out quickly into a pile of snow five inches high.

    Without a word you flop your face down into it, snorting madly.

    “What are you doing!? Now isn’t the time to use that!” She screams at you, shaking you madly.

    You look up from the pile, your face blanketed with snow, much clinging to your day-old stubble.

    The Hive Tyrant closes in, and you think it’s actually laughing at you as it does so.

    It’s too late, your desperate bid failed you.

    “Sorry babe, I really thought that would work.” You apologize to her, smiling sadly.

    Suddenly, the roar of a motorcycle.


    Doomrider, in all his flaming-headed glory, bursts from a hole in the warp, headed straight at the Hive Tyrant.

    Half a dozen daemonettes cling to him, with ahego faces as Doomrider’s twelve dicks please them all simultaneously.
    >> Fireman Prime 12/03/11(Sat)19:55 No.17097334
         File1322960155.jpg-(92 KB, 300x431, 1155685180368.jpg)
    92 KB
    >that whole mental image
    Mah boi.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:56 No.17097339
    >no but my girlfriend is
    Well that explains a lot of things
    >Dat DoomRider
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:56 No.17097342


    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:57 No.17097344
         File1322960221.jpg-(125 KB, 500x418, 1304121759879.jpg)
    125 KB
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:57 No.17097353
    Yay! Doom Rider!
    >> Commissarial Hat !!/1tpKWuVAGC 12/03/11(Sat)19:58 No.17097366
    Well it's better than nothing.
    >inb4 doomrider takes the tau.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)19:59 No.17097368
         File1322960349.gif-(492 KB, 228x290, Cocaine Spider.gif)
    492 KB
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)20:01 No.17097386
    His bike flies at the Hive Tyrant, and Doomrider slams a bottle labeled “Secret stash” as he swings a massive chain axe at the same time.

    The tyranid doesn’t have time to react as its head is lopped clean off.

    Just as quickly as he appeared, another warp hole opens and Doomrider sails into it in a flurry of white powder, needles, and semen.

    “STAY EXCELLENT!” He cackles madly before disappearing.

    The Tau girl’s face is frozen in a “what the fuck did I just see” stare.

    You almost lay back down until you hear a fury of scurrying claws from the tree line as three jeanstealers burst forth, charging at you.

    Grabbing the Tau’s hand as her eyes spin from the terror, you pull her into a run, barely managing to snatch up your sword and pistol as you do.

    Looking back you see the ‘nids eagerly devouring your clothes. They are getting closer to your hat.

    The Tau girl is barely conscious as she runs behind you.

    [ ] “Wait here, I’ve got some business to attend to.”

    [ ] “Can you get that Crisis battle suit moving right the hell now?”

    [ ] “Keep running, they are distracted.”
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:03 No.17097395
    Gonna say we use this

    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:03 No.17097397
    Crisis suit cramed in with her naked body
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:03 No.17097402
    >[x] “Wait here, I’ve got some business to attend to.”

    Get. That. Hat.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:04 No.17097403
    >[ ] “Wait here, I’ve got some business to attend to.”
    We must stand and fight. A guardsman has a sacred duty to protect his hat with his very life.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:04 No.17097405
    [ ] “Wait here, I’ve got some business to attend to.”


    It sorta worked for Esh...
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:04 No.17097408
    Defend our hat until she gets the suit online.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:04 No.17097409
    [ x] “Wait here, I’ve got some business to attend to.”
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:04 No.17097416
    We need to retrieve our Hat. It is very important. Defend our hat until she can get the battlesuit up and running.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:04 No.17097419
         File1322960697.gif-(4 KB, 100x100, 1310198188402.gif)
    4 KB
    rolled 10 = 10

    >[x] “Wait here, I’ve got some business to attend to.”

    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:04 No.17097420
    [X] “Can you get that Crisis battle suit moving right the hell now?”

    I kinda feel both relieved and a little sad that we missed another fishermen fight.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:05 No.17097422
    >> mick824 12/03/11(Sat)20:05 No.17097426
    [ x] “Wait here, I’ve got some business to attend to.”
    >> Commissarial Hat !!/1tpKWuVAGC 12/03/11(Sat)20:05 No.17097430
    >[x] “Wait here, I’ve got some business to attend to.”

    Really, there is no other choice.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:06 No.17097432
    [X] “Wait here, I’ve got some business to attend to.”
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:06 No.17097434
    rolled 20 = 20

    [X] “Wait here, I’ve got some business to attend to.” Get that hat
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:06 No.17097436
    Also, what the fuck am I posting.

    Clearly we have business to attend to.

    [x] “Wait here, I’ve got some business to attend to.”
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:07 No.17097438

    Dice gods have spoken
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:07 No.17097440
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:07 No.17097441
    Oh shit son.
    We Got some hat
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:07 No.17097444
         File1322960874.jpg-(168 KB, 800x800, 1322700306572.jpg)
    168 KB
    rolled 20 = 20

    >[ x] “Wait here, I’ve got some business to attend to.”
    The emprah's work is never done, after all.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:08 No.17097446
         File1322960897.jpg-(22 KB, 195x195, 1321966073420.jpg)
    22 KB
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:08 No.17097447
    Welp, my vote is void by now.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:09 No.17097452

    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:09 No.17097454
    It's a Double 20 PapaN.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:09 No.17097455

    Were still wet and as a plus, on cocaine.
    > Doom fisher.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:09 No.17097456
    Triple if we consider >>17097256
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:10 No.17097460
    he wants you to get that poon
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:11 No.17097467
    Surely we must combat the pants-stealing Tyranid menace with the glorious manhood the Emperor bestowed upon us.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)20:13 No.17097477
    Your hat waves sadly back at you as a ‘nid moves in to eat it.

    “I’ll never forget you, Commissar-kun.”

    You run with all the fury of Angron and the Angry Marines all rolled into one toward your beloved cap.

    A tyranid picks up the hat and smiles at the aspect of devouring such a glorious thing.

    “No, Hat-chan, nooooooo!!!!”

    It’s impossible, there is no way you can make the shot from here. The distance is too great for even your mad laspistol skills. Also your madly jittering hands don’t help, but you feel ALIVE.

    Still, you take the shot, and it manages to hit. But the tyranid shrugs off the blow, it’s carapace saving it.

    You can only watch in horror as your beloved cap is devoured whole.

    “NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” You yell, crashing to your knees, your life suddenly empty.

    A bolt of plasma cuts the ‘nid in half.

    With misted eyes you see the carcass spinning in the air, xeno guts and blood spraying every which way.

    But wait… No… It can’t be.


    The Commissar hat leaves the jeanstealer body through the ex-back way, and sails to you. Covered in terrible things, yes, but intact.

    The Crisis battle suit crashes through the forest behind you, knocking trees aside. With a robot-like efficiency it obliterates the other two ‘nids. Unfortunately with less precision, vaporizing your clothes along with them.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:14 No.17097483
    All a commissar needs is his hat.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:15 No.17097489
    Shake and wipe the worst of the bits off of Hat, place it on our head and ask if she's got room in that battle suit for one more.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:15 No.17097492

    You put that hat back on and you STAND TALL.

    Show her what THAT HAT IS ALL ABOUT
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:16 No.17097502
         File1322961387.jpg-(577 KB, 1074x792, 1322106544271.jpg)
    577 KB
    rolled 13 = 13

    It was clearly some kind of Tau tactical genius.
    >> Commissarial Hat !!/1tpKWuVAGC 12/03/11(Sat)20:16 No.17097503
    Priorities fright now are:
    -Clean the hat
    -Tell the Tau she is responsible for the lack of clothing
    -Stealth suit ridan'
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:16 No.17097507
    [X] You managed to land next to your laspistol and sword, stand and fight.

    Lerory Jenkeeens
    >> Commissarial Hat !!/1tpKWuVAGC 12/03/11(Sat)20:17 No.17097511
    *for right now
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:17 No.17097515
    With a hat upon his head, a true servant of the Emperor needs no other clothing!
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:17 No.17097517
    That's fine, the clothes weren't important, the hat on the other hand was.

    Dust the hat off and stride forward in your glorious nudity soldier! prove to these Xenos exactly why Mankind is superior and profit in the only coin that matters!
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:17 No.17097518
    ...Bit late to the party aren't you?
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:22 No.17097560
    rolled 14 = 14

    And now that our dignity is whole, let's stealthy infiltrate her greater goods - shall we ?
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)20:23 No.17097569
    “Nice shot blueberry!” You yell with a fist pump.

    The Crisis battle suit kicks the dirt, embarrassed.

    “Really, it was nothing….” The booming microphone says.

    You wash your beloved hat off in the hot spring, punting any little ‘nid that gets too close.

    Heavy stomping shakes the ground slightly as the suit walks up beside you and quickly dispatches the little swimming tyranids.

    “Hey, you going to climb out of that thing so I can dance in joy with you or what?” You ask, poking the leg of the suit.

    For a moment there is no response, but then the suit turns away from you.

    “The… The tyranids found my battle suit before I did…”

    You shrug, “So?”

    “Well… My clothes were gone.” She finally admits.

    An awkward moment is just about to pass when you hear the furious howls of yet more tyranids, having just found their kin shredded by plasma.

    “Time to go!” You shout, hopping up, before pausing.

    “I’m going to need a ride, there is no way we are outrunning them on foot.”

    [ ] “Hey blue girl, crouch down so I can hop on your shoulder.”

    [ ] “We might have to fight our way through them, let me inside.”

    [ ] “We might be able to set a trap.”
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:24 No.17097570
    >inb4 something goes awry and poor Max still gets zero action


    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:24 No.17097573

    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:25 No.17097584
    rolled 6 = 6

    >[x] “We might have to fight our way through them, let me inside.”

    It's the only way this has to go
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:25 No.17097589
    [X] “We might have to fight our way through them, let me inside.”

    As if there was any need to ask.
    >> Commissarial Hat !!/1tpKWuVAGC 12/03/11(Sat)20:25 No.17097592
    rolled 11 = 11

    [x] “We might have to fight our way through them, let me inside.”
    Only true choice of a commissar.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:26 No.17097595
    "let me inside"
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:26 No.17097597
         File1322961986.jpg-(22 KB, 600x600, Slow.jpg)
    22 KB
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:26 No.17097606
    [X] “We might have to fight our way through them, let me inside.”

    Not to mention if we ride on her shoulder we can easily fall off.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:27 No.17097616
    [ ] “We might have to fight our way through them, let me inside.”
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:28 No.17097619
    >[ ] “We might have to fight our way through them, let me inside.”
    When two people try to fit into a space designed for one, it will inevitably end well.
    >> plum weird 12/03/11(Sat)20:29 No.17097627
    [X] “Hey blue girl, crouch down so I can hop on your shoulder.”
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:29 No.17097630
         File1322962155.jpg-(271 KB, 1440x1755, 1295149938079.jpg)
    271 KB
    rolled 4 = 4

    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:29 No.17097639
         File1322962187.jpg-(85 KB, 400x398, 11906039.jpg)
    85 KB
    rolled 12 = 12

    [ ] “We might have to fight our way through them, let me inside.”
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:33 No.17097663
         File1322962423.png-(102 KB, 461x403, 1321832360536.png)
    102 KB
    rolled 2 = 2

    >> Fireman Prime 12/03/11(Sat)20:34 No.17097668
         File1322962454.jpg-(84 KB, 400x362, 26HNOGMMXGGFDEOC227ZHFDQ5KFGSI(...).jpg)
    84 KB
    rolled 20 = 20

    >Let me inside
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:34 No.17097675
    rolled 15 = 15

    [ ] “We might have to fight our way through them, let me inside.”
    clearly it's the only logical solution
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:35 No.17097677
    The dice gods have found a winner!
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:35 No.17097685
    The dice gods agree. tg agrees. the emporer agrees.

    >let me inside
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:35 No.17097686
         File1322962554.jpg-(17 KB, 294x294, 1321820586100.jpg)
    17 KB
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:36 No.17097695
    let me come inside
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:43 No.17097750
         File1322963011.jpg-(165 KB, 355x348, 1297531160596.jpg)
    165 KB
    rolled 6 = 6

    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)20:43 No.17097755
    “Let me in, let me in, LET ME INNNN!!!” The tyranids screams are getting closer, and fast.

    The suit reels back.

    “B-b-but I’m… NAKED!” She protests, the suit shaking its head back and forth.

    “Now isn’t the time to be shy, you were smothering me with your love balloons earlier!” You yell as you search for some kind of exterior hatch-release.

    With a hiss the cockpit falls open, and the Tau girl sits there, covering her nether region with one hand and unsuccessfully attempting to cover her breasts with her other arm.

    Quickly you hop inside, the cockpit is cramped and alive with light. You don’t read Tau so you don’t know what any of it means though.

    The cockpit closes and re-starts it’s forward view screen.
    The Tau girl struggles to look around you, moving her head back and forth. She looks like she is torn between grabbing the controls and continuing to hide herself.

    “I can’t pilot like this.” She finally admits.

    You aren’t left with much of a choice.

    “Get up, hurry.”

    Without question she rises from her seat, her body pressing into yours.

    You swing around her as you assume the command seat.

    “All right, now sit down and get this yellow brick of death moving.”

    For a moment, nothing happens.

    “But I’m naked, and you are ALMOST naked!” She finally pleads.

    A tyranid leaps up onto the back of the suit and starts slashing at it furiously.

    “No time girl, let’s go!” You spin her around and yank her down onto your lap.

    Her ass engulfs your pelvis, and despite your best efforts, your little Inquisitor stands at attention, poking her in the cheek.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:45 No.17097781
         File1322963150.jpg-(24 KB, 410x364, 1248382840048.jpg)
    24 KB

    >your little Inquisitor stands at attention
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:46 No.17097785
         File1322963182.jpg-(18 KB, 278x311, -_- 504.jpg)
    18 KB
    Ok, I just read the first archived thread
    This >>17095929
    plus the natural 1 seduction roll on the SoB had me laughing. Hard.
    This is comedy cold!
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)20:46 No.17097788
    Not that she has time to think about that, as her hands fly over the controls and the suit lurches to life. You are smooshed by dat heretical ass even more as the suit flies upwards, tossing off the ‘nid.

    “There are too many, we are going to have to fight them off!” She yells.

    “Can you handle this many?” You ask, unsure really how many ‘nids are really out there, you cant see the screen, as it is blocked by epic side boob.

    “I can try.” She finally says as the suit crashes back down.
    The Tau girl swiftly moves the controls to avoid another warrior that leaps at the suit.

    The sudden motion causes both of you to shift hard in the seat, and you find suddenly that it has also disengaged the purity seal keeping you in, as it were.

    The Inquisitor ventures out, ready for exterminatus, as it slips into the crack.

    The feel of her still wet ass cleavage encompassing you is beyond words, Slaanesh himself jealous of your pleasure.

    There is an massive fight raging outside, but you are in your own little world now.

    Every dodge, every strike, causes her to shift around. You can only sit and praise the Emprah for your luck as her wet ass slides back and forth along your heavy bolter.

    “We’re going to have to hit the jump jets again!” She yells.

    Her ass is thrust down on you, making the most epic hot dog in the universe and awakening the great void dragon.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:47 No.17097792
    >“B-b-but I’m… NAKED!”
    The only solution is to take off what little we're wearing, so she won't be so self-conscious about her own nudity.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:48 No.17097799

    I suggest we 'investigate' the xeno.
    No-one expects the 'inquisition'.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:48 No.17097808
    ...are we Spanish though?
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:49 No.17097816
         File1322963384.jpg-(628 KB, 1184x1020, 1316115900675.jpg)
    628 KB

    I'm not sure if you understand this setting...
    >> Fireman Prime 12/03/11(Sat)20:50 No.17097826
         File1322963439.jpg-(47 KB, 523x500, 1159178882521.jpg)
    47 KB
    >and awakening the great void dragon
    My sides.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:51 No.17097833
    I'm not sure you get the joke
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:53 No.17097845
         File1322963602.jpg-(89 KB, 435x256, 1310423305507.jpg)
    89 KB

    >and awakening the great void dragon

    I like where this thread is going
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:54 No.17097850
         File1322963647.jpg-(82 KB, 301x450, 1226275195174.jpg)
    82 KB
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:54 No.17097853
         File1322963674.jpg-(52 KB, 430x553, christian-bale-american-psycho(...).jpg)
    52 KB
    >The Inquisitor ventures out, ready for exterminatus, as it slips into the crack.

    >> mick824 12/03/11(Sat)20:54 No.17097856
         File1322963686.jpg-(398 KB, 1057x493, 1318559490905.jpg)
    398 KB
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)20:54 No.17097859
    “In the Emprah’s name…” You whisper, convulsing with pleasure.

    You can’t hold it in. Bolter fire explodes on her ass.

    Your body shudders as her hips move on their own, grinding on your champion as he fires hot bursts of plasma into the canyon.

    “Hah, I finally got them all!” She yells in triumph, until her voice trails off.

    “What was that hard thing, and why is my butt wet Commissar?”

    She reaches a hand back and rubs her crack, then looks inquisitively at the white heresy on her hand.

    The Tau girl tilts her head slightly, before giving her fingers a curious lick.

    “Oh man, I can’t actually believe that happened!” Nurlge belches and laughs madly from his throne.

    “Hey Tzeentch, hey? Was that “Just as planned?” I thought you hated this guy!”

    Tzeentch glowers in the corner, sulking.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:56 No.17097868
         File1322963782.jpg-(19 KB, 320x240, 1294360574938.jpg)
    19 KB
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 12/03/11(Sat)20:56 No.17097872
         File1322963800.png-(1.29 MB, 1280x900, Squeee.png)
    1.29 MB
    Of all the times to be on the computer without any appropriate image files.

    Ah well, this one will do. Still reading the Farseer thread as is. Fucking Doomrider!
    >> Commissarial Hat !!/1tpKWuVAGC 12/03/11(Sat)20:57 No.17097875
    Since we still haven't received options as to where this is going to go, assuming there is still more to come!
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:57 No.17097876

    Wayyyy ahead of ya. It's been on /suptg/ since about 50 posts
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:58 No.17097878
         File1322963880.jpg-(69 KB, 600x700, 1321130767236.jpg)
    69 KB
    rolled 16 = 16

    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:59 No.17097891
         File1322963977.jpg-(15 KB, 349x263, christianbale.jpg)
    15 KB
    >The Chaos Gods are roommates.

    I demand a television series.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)20:59 No.17097893
         File1322963996.jpg-(29 KB, 535x360, 1318949458977.jpg)
    29 KB
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:00 No.17097902

    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)21:01 No.17097906
    [ ] “Nothing, good xeno, nothing. Now let us find something to dry off with.”

    [ ] “Errr… Hey is that Lenin over there?”

    [ ] “Foodstuffs, you had better not waste it, starving Kroot children and all that."
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:02 No.17097917
    nothing good zeno, almost went with foodstuffs
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:02 No.17097924
    rolled 8 = 8

    >[x] “Foodstuffs, you had better not waste it, starving Kroot children and all that."

    As if it were a fucking choice.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:03 No.17097925
    [ ] “Foodstuffs, you had better not waste it, starving Kroot children and all that."

    It is very nutritious after all
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:03 No.17097929

    >> Commissarial Hat !!/1tpKWuVAGC 12/03/11(Sat)21:03 No.17097930
    [X] “Foodstuffs, you had better not waste it, starving Kroot children and all that."
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:03 No.17097933
    [X] “Foodstuffs, you had better not waste it, starving Kroot children and all that."
    Again with these weird questions.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:03 No.17097935
    [XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX ] “Foodstuffs, you had better not waste it, starving Kroot children and all that."
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:03 No.17097936
    [X] “Errr… Hey is that Lenin over there?”
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:04 No.17097940
         File1322964260.png-(231 KB, 400x333, 1311044474988.png)
    231 KB
    >[x] “Foodstuffs, you had better not waste it, starving Kroot children and all that."

    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:05 No.17097944
         File1322964316.png-(318 KB, 894x925, 1315767720724.png)
    318 KB
    For all that is in the glory of the emperors glowing 10ft shaft! We need melta references like "his melta melts her as it penetrates her rear armor again and again with it's 12" range"
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:05 No.17097945
    I don't think guardsmen normal carry food in there Boxers so i might be hard to convince her.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:06 No.17097957
         File1322964400.jpg-(286 KB, 1024x634, 1276395739619.jpg)
    286 KB
    I love you Papa-N.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:08 No.17097979
         File1322964525.gif-(1.92 MB, 320x240, 1316838690134.gif)
    1.92 MB
    . . .Don't die on me!
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:09 No.17097988
    Could someone draw this? Like, this whole scene?
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:10 No.17097996


    She's Tau. Tau are all about sharing. She wouldn't eat the lot without -making sure you had some too-.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:11 No.17098003
         File1322964689.jpg-(4 KB, 149x155, thatismyfetish.jpg)
    4 KB
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:11 No.17098010
    Don't worry either we can play it off as we are the stupid xeno with weird customs or we be honest and say it can be used as food stuffs
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:11 No.17098011
    rolled 10 = 10

    Implying it would be a problem
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:11 No.17098014
    But she might insist on having some of her Tau comrades join in...
    >> Commissarial Hat !!/1tpKWuVAGC 12/03/11(Sat)21:12 No.17098016
    "You saved us, it's the very least we can do is give you this food."
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:12 No.17098019
         File1322964757.gif-(1.57 MB, 330x186, 1298890026414.gif)
    1.57 MB

    Welp, fair enough. Carry on!
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:13 No.17098026

    And insist that she eats it herself and that we aren't hungry in the least.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:13 No.17098030
    >girlfriend randomly shows up unannounced

    >hue hue hue what are we goona do on the bed?

    >can't let her see the heresy, she just wouldn't understand.

    >u gib monies I report u.

    >she doesn't get it.

    I can try continuing from my Droid or wait for a chance to keep going.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:14 No.17098036
    or you could draw his dick in her ass
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)21:15 No.17098039
    >forgot trip
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:18 No.17098071
         File1322965087.jpg-(40 KB, 267x280, Sad%20Batman.jpg)
    40 KB

    > Choosing a dice roll fap fiction on 4chan over real pussy

    You make me sad.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:18 No.17098073
         File1322965103.jpg-(4 KB, 126x126, 1316901433835.jpg)
    4 KB
    I'm guessing? If so best of luck with you OP.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:18 No.17098074
         File1322965106.jpg-(17 KB, 842x451, 1293224709622.jpg)
    17 KB

    >> Commissarial Hat !!/1tpKWuVAGC 12/03/11(Sat)21:19 No.17098082
    Do what you need to do. Just post in here if you are going to postpone it for the night.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:19 No.17098086
         File1322965176.jpg-(480 KB, 800x720, 1322104991209.jpg)
    480 KB
    rolled 18 = 18

    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:19 No.17098090
    no on the android for teh emporoer
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:21 No.17098102
    Emprah's work is never done.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:21 No.17098107
    Slaanesh is calling, OP.

    There's always time to continue the thread later.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:22 No.17098113
    As long as there's moar at a later date. We'll just have to call it here.

    It's all archived anyway.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:30 No.17098163
    It's the Emperor rewarding you for your fine work in this thread.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:35 No.17098198
    [x] show heresy, acquire more heretical sexing.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)21:38 No.17098226
    >she's making me dinner


    "Its... Ah...Food. Guardsman custom for being saved, all yours blue."

    She gives you a quizzical look before shrugging.

    "It would be rude of me to deny custom, but do I have to eat it off of you though?" She asks, a bit hesitant at the thought.

    "Uh... Yeah... Traditions and all, you understand."

    The Tau girl pauses for a moment before turning around in the cramped cockpit and lowering her face to your groin.

    The High Inquisitor has taken a hit, lost a wound, but he stands back up in defiance, ready to blast the xeno.

    She begins to lick you, her soft tongue sliding across your thighs and shaft slowly, lapping up the heretical juices.

    You moan in ecstasy, and she looks up at you unsure.

    "All part of the ritual..." You assure her.

    She buys it, and lowers herself back down, brushing the hair out of her face.

    She pauses at your defiant champion as he madly waves his chainsword, before taking him in her mouth.

    "Praise the Emprah..." You mumble at the sensation. Her mouth is ridiculously warm, and her tongue swirls around you, hungrily cleaning you off.

    The Inquisitor feels the urge to exterminatus rising as the Tau takes more and more of him, eagerly now.

    The second black crusade is rapidly approaching.

    [ ] Inside

    [ ] Face

    [ ] Tits

    Last choice of the night most likely, are we on autosage yet?
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:41 No.17098246
         File1322966467.png-(81 KB, 802x530, 1275784667822.png)
    81 KB
    all over those bouncy xeno funbags
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:41 No.17098247
    >> The God Emprah of Mankind 12/03/11(Sat)21:41 No.17098251
    rolled 2 = 2



    >> Commissarial Hat !!/1tpKWuVAGC 12/03/11(Sat)21:41 No.17098258
    We passed 275 post, so I think so.
    >[x] Inside

    Anywhere else and we might have to clean it up as well.
    >> Fireman Prime 12/03/11(Sat)21:42 No.17098260
         File1322966529.png-(164 KB, 500x360, 1180512243578.png)
    164 KB
    rolled 20 = 20

    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:42 No.17098263
    >> Abaddon the Handy 12/03/11(Sat)21:42 No.17098267
    rolled 8 = 8

    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:42 No.17098269
         File1322966572.jpg-(97 KB, 500x279, yo-dawg-we-heard-you-like-to-f(...).jpg)
    97 KB
    >> Horus 12/03/11(Sat)21:42 No.17098271
         File1322966577.jpg-(47 KB, 554x519, Horus.jpg)
    47 KB
    rolled 19 = 19


    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:45 No.17098297
         File1322966739.jpg-(126 KB, 986x591, Raisins_Face.jpg)
    126 KB
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:46 No.17098310
    Thread confirmed for pure heresy.
    >> Fireman Prime 12/03/11(Sat)21:47 No.17098317
         File1322966847.jpg-(68 KB, 640x480, 1155182525614.jpg)
    68 KB
    Yeah, you've got it right.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)21:49 No.17098327
         File1322966966.jpg-(94 KB, 575x291, shitjustgotreal.jpg)
    94 KB
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:49 No.17098331
    Come on, she must be more than aware of what she is doing. she is just playing stupid and enjoying the ordeal, filthy xeno....
    That said, inside!
    >> Sonir !FAIwcQVJw2 12/03/11(Sat)21:50 No.17098339
         File1322967047.gif-(397 KB, 400x386, 1296849163072.gif)
    397 KB
    >This entire thread
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)21:58 No.17098396
    Nothing, good xeno.

    Actually, I personally would vote for just admitting the truth, but that's not an option given
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)22:04 No.17098450
    "FOR THE EMPRAH!!!" You shout as you bury your sword.

    The High Inquisitor gives the command, exterminatus.

    White hot fury erupts from the flagship, soaring into the foul xeno void.

    The Tau girl panics, eyes wide, and tries to pull away. You hold here there though, until the Inquisitor, mission accomplished, succumbs to his wounds and shrivels.

    When you finally let her go she coughs and then, unexpectedly, smiles.

    "Don't think I didn't know what you were up to, guardsman, but you did save me from those awful bugs."

    She manages, mouth full.

    You can hardly hear her from your position on the golden throne as you and the Emprah celebrate the day.


    She swallows.

    "I'm Ailia!" She finally adds cheerily.

    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)22:06 No.17098460

    Awesome ending to an awesome thread.

    Thanks for the bedtime story Papa, can't wait until tomorrow night!
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)22:06 No.17098465
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)22:07 No.17098472
         File1322968042.jpg-(27 KB, 600x600, 600px-Commissarpoke.jpg)
    27 KB
    Glad to see you're still around.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)22:07 No.17098480
    Yeah I've got an early xmas party with my side of the family, so tomorrow is unlikely.

    I have several more exams this week so I'm not entirely sure when the next thread will happen, but I assure you that it will.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)22:08 No.17098485
    >She knew and was playing along.

    >> Fireman Prime 12/03/11(Sat)22:08 No.17098487
         File1322968114.jpg-(114 KB, 809x988, tau_xv_9_hazard_suit_by_thevam(...).jpg)
    114 KB
    Can't wait until the next thread, Pops.
    >> Commissarial Hat !!/1tpKWuVAGC 12/03/11(Sat)22:09 No.17098494
    I'll be on watch for you Papa-N.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)22:09 No.17098497
    >Sister of Battle
    Smack down the Despoiler
    Carry her out of danger
    Fly a Valkyrie to safety
    Get a kiss and a glipse of ass

    Best Doomrider in single combat
    Fight Lovecraftian devilfish to a standstill
    Get light spooning

    Run like a bitch from nids
    Do cocaine
    Get blowjob

    Fuck yea greater good
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)22:10 No.17098503
         File1322968244.jpg-(281 KB, 658x594, -_- 516.jpg)
    281 KB
    AWESOME! AND YOU SHOULD FEEL AWSEOM! I dont have an image with a madly smiling boner, oh god, why dont have I have one of those when I need one!?
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)22:10 No.17098505
    don't forget buttsex

    but it pains me that we didn't get to fuck her forehead
    >> The Laughing God 12/03/11(Sat)22:11 No.17098521
    If those where broadside Ion Cannons I would be more scared, champs.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)22:12 No.17098525

    I know that feel bro

    3 exams, 3 days, all at the same time and all are math intensive.
    >> Fireman Prime 12/03/11(Sat)22:12 No.17098528
         File1322968365.jpg-(378 KB, 900x643, TAU_Tropic_Thunder_by_thevampi(...).jpg)
    378 KB
    Be scared.
    Be scared for the Greater Good.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)22:15 No.17098552
    if i had the skill and the knowledge i would turn these stories into visual novels
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)22:16 No.17098555
    Nah, it never went in. Papa-N's writing had it all as a rather cheeky affair.
    >> The Laughing God 12/03/11(Sat)22:18 No.17098572
         File1322968690.jpg-(114 KB, 750x600, the-greater-good.jpg)
    114 KB
    I don't see that working too well for you, man.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)22:22 No.17098598
         File1322968937.jpg-(69 KB, 560x440, 1318227503331.jpg)
    69 KB
    >cheeky affair

    >> Fireman Prime 12/03/11(Sat)22:23 No.17098612
         File1322969030.jpg-(121 KB, 1024x732, tau_force_by_thevampiredio-d3c(...).jpg)
    121 KB
    No, it's worked pretty well in the past if the Imperial Guard are anybody to go by.
    >> The Laughing God 12/03/11(Sat)22:29 No.17098662
         File1322969391.jpg-(142 KB, 953x1300, 1307314741607.jpg)
    142 KB
    Imperial Guard are never somebody to go by.
    Outside of Eatatau I want you point me to an Astartes that fell for that Greater Good goofyness.
    Or, you know... someone that matters.
    >> Fireman Prime 12/03/11(Sat)22:33 No.17098690
         File1322969611.jpg-(97 KB, 800x554, frin_mah_layzors_by_thevampire(...).jpg)
    97 KB
    Eldar are sometimes compliant, the occasional Grey Knight joins once in a great while, hell, we've even got a pair of Necron Adventurers that joined up with us. Best damn body-guard a Shas'o could ask.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)22:35 No.17098704
    >astartes fighting for the greater good
    >mfw I can't post pictures
    >> The Laughing God 12/03/11(Sat)22:36 No.17098715
    Well, my name must be indication that I fall no short of knowledge about Eldar and I can seriously call that claim bullshit.
    TRUE Craftworld Eldar live in the Path, there is no space for Greater Goofy in their lives. The Path of Dammnation or the Path of Outcast?
    Maybe. Shorter than that, it's blasphemy of a higher ground.

    Now, Grey Knights and Necron?
    Yeah, I ain't buying that without lot's of alcohol and physical proof.
    >> Fireman Prime 12/03/11(Sat)22:39 No.17098737
         File1322969956.jpg-(252 KB, 800x1126, Warlock_and_Witchblade_by_thev(...).jpg)
    252 KB
    The Knights usually just keep doing what they normally do (as we try to avoid conflict with anything that fights Chaos), and the Necrons are off investigating a possible auxiliary agreement with their Tombworld. Certainly, Eldar who join us are no less prevalent than those who join the Rogue Traders of Man, and we've seen more than a few of those from our Scouts who have done the same...
    >> The Laughing God 12/03/11(Sat)22:43 No.17098777
    Yeah, Path of Damnation and Path of Exile/Path of Outcast. They come back to the Craftworld eventually... Or Slaanesh snacks at the night of their lives.
    In the Greater Good there is no life for the Eldar.

    What strikes me as offensive is really Necron and Grey Knights. What else now? Tyrannids?
    Who do you think you are, Da Orkz?

    "We'z da Bloo Boyz, we convertz yurz Eenfantry!"
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)22:44 No.17098783
    HA HA!
    >> Fireman Prime 12/03/11(Sat)22:47 No.17098802
         File1322970446.jpg-(192 KB, 600x840, commander_thornhide_by_thevamp(...).jpg)
    192 KB
    The Orks are a race without minds, a force as primal as the Tyrnanids but made dangerous by their native nature. They know this galaxy, they know how to take our weapons and use them against every other good and living thing we have seen. We are simply doing what we can in order to muster the forces of our galaxy into a singular force, to fight for the Greater Good and the very survival of all those we meet.

    We do not convert, we convince.
    We do not indoctrinate, we educate.
    We are the Tau.
    We fight for the Greater Good.
    >> The Laughing God 12/03/11(Sat)22:53 No.17098842
         File1322970825.png-(735 KB, 657x873, The_Laughing_God.png)
    735 KB
    Spoken like a true child with no more than mere millenia of history behind their backs.
    Lear something with the former masters of this galaxy, and even the current ones. Purity is the only answer to escape damnation.
    Even your Kroot, when devouring the flesh of the Great Enemy, turn into your enemies. You won't be always out of their reach, and if you are, there are other nightmarish things that spawn from the void between stars.
    >> Fireman Prime 12/03/11(Sat)22:58 No.17098883
         File1322971132.jpg-(14 KB, 289x378, Tau_Battlesuit_vs_Smurf.jpg)
    14 KB
    What you call purity, I call a surrender. We strive to bring peace, unity, harmony, even just a sigh of rest to the hellscape that is the galaxy we live in. We will carve our own place in the history of all, even if it is one which we write with the last drop of blood and last round if fire we deliver in the cause of the Greater Good. The Kroot follow the Tau'va devoutly, and we are prepared to fight those 'nightmarish things' to the last breath, and triumph!

    We know we cannot convince a being both so arrogant and so far beyond our total understanding, so we shall simply let the facts that are our victories and triumphs answer for us!
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)23:00 No.17098898
         File1322971214.jpg-(16 KB, 450x333, 1317858419051.jpg)
    16 KB
    Nobody caaaares
    >> The Laughing God 12/03/11(Sat)23:04 No.17098922
         File1322971457.jpg-(139 KB, 900x730, harlequin_of_the_laughing_god_(...).jpg)
    139 KB
    Yes, of course. Victories and triumph.
    No, that won't do in this galaxy. The best you can do is absorb as much rounds as you can, before your brother and son behind you have to do the same. Witness the example of the Imperial Guard, the Astartes and even that of the Eldar.
    They fight, now, for survival. You should start to do the same, last you bite something bigger than your head.
    >> Fireman Prime 12/03/11(Sat)23:06 No.17098941
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    >can't argue with that logic
    >final retort before crying myself to sleep in my quarters
    >> The Laughing GAHAHAHAHA 12/03/11(Sat)23:11 No.17098992
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    >made me laugh with last comment

    Ok, you win this one. Next time, try to hold some real proof to that grey knight and necron shenanigan, I so fucking need to see that.

    Goddamn Lannisters...
    >> Fireman Prime 12/03/11(Sat)23:14 No.17099018
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    No, I pulled that out my ass for sure. Need to get a better example for that, probably the Demiurgs or something. I know the Grey Knights wouldn't be -totally- opposed to it if Ward was convinced to go along with it, and the more harmless Necrons can be quite reasonable, to the point of being 'good'.
    HOWEVER, I should now fluff up a pair of battles just for those examples, simply for shits and giggles.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)23:17 No.17099046
    And that's when she stands back up.

    Revealing her 24" twisted xeno plasma cannon
    >> The Laughing God 12/03/11(Sat)23:21 No.17099073
    Oooooh. Kinky. I didn't know we had entered in the realm of /d/.

    I thought so, but the idea has credit with all the bullshit GW is doing nowadays with Grey Knights and Necrons...
    Actually, I think the best alliance the Tau have is with the Kroot, which are (surprisingly) a very independent and advanced race with starships and all.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)23:22 No.17099082
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)23:22 No.17099089
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    how did we miss this?
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)23:23 No.17099096
    "Hey, that's a pretty cool gun! Mind if I hold it?"

    "Sure!" She replies happily, flopping it down on your hand.

    "Whoa, its warm."
    >> Fireman Prime 12/03/11(Sat)23:24 No.17099103
    Kroot is definitely their most sound alliance, and the Vespid aren't too bad either. Yeah, my homework for tomorrow is to fluff up GK/Tau and Newcron/Tau Teamups-
    Oh yeah. Time for Bizarro Mode!
    >> The Laughing God 12/03/11(Sat)23:26 No.17099115
    What kind of chaos spawned weaponry FLOPPS when you place it down in someones hands?!
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)23:26 No.17099117
    "Wait! Don't play with it so much or it might go off!!!"

    You don't hear her as you stroke and fondle the alien cannon.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)23:27 No.17099125
    o boy here we go
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)23:28 No.17099135
    The cannons firing mechanisim is nullified by human salivia.

    Get to work sucking,
    >> Commissarial Coat 12/03/11(Sat)23:28 No.17099136

    Oh come now, 2' is just a tad silly. Even if Tau had a massively advanced cardiovascular system, the sheer amount of blood flow that would be required to let that cannon operate at full capacity would be phenomenal. I could understand it if it were warp dickery, but as just some blueberry physiology she'd need more hearts than a squad of Space Marines.
    >> Fireman Prime 12/03/11(Sat)23:28 No.17099137
    The Greatest ones, provided they are any Good.
    >not sure if want
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)23:28 No.17099138
    Don't worry, with Tau plasma we don't have to worry about it getting hot and exploding in our face.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)23:30 No.17099151
    Quiet, you!

    She is possessed of the magic of /d/!
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)23:30 No.17099155
    I might not be a Tech Priest, but even I know that you don't power plasma cannons with blood, what are you smoking?
    >> Fireman Prime 12/03/11(Sat)23:30 No.17099157
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    >He hasn't played Corruption of Champions!
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)23:31 No.17099166
    "No! Stop! ...Ah!?"

    The cannon explodes in your hands, covering you in sticky blue plasma.

    "Cool. I wonder how it tastes?" You remark as you lick the tip of the barrel.
    >> The Laughing God 12/03/11(Sat)23:33 No.17099188
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    >> Commissarial Coat 12/03/11(Sat)23:35 No.17099199
    >Another realm filled with demons with erogenous zones larger than physically possible.
    >Implying CoC does not take place in a Slaneesh dominated part of the Warp.

    Really I was just trying to use as many puns as I could. On a side-note, Fenoxo's at least been getting less grammatical errors since he started outsourcing a lot of his writings to his forums.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)23:36 No.17099212
    How does it make you feel OP if I said that I would love to swallow your plasma cannon as deep as I could until you shot it off, pouring your energies deep down my throat and all over my face?
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)23:39 No.17099237
    Not OP,

    But I would like to bury my lascannon deep into some secret areas on the lower parts of your body, thrusting it furiously until I shot off a pretty stream of light deep inside you.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)23:40 No.17099245
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    "Oh, this plasma tastes really good!"

    She's squirming as you continue to fondle the cannon.

    "W-well if you want some more, reload it."

    "How do I do that?" You ask with another lick of the barrel.

    "First you have to cock it."
    >> Commissarial Coat 12/03/11(Sat)23:41 No.17099253
    To be fair, OP does have a girlfriend apparently. So I'd guess either a result of
    >:shrug: No thanks.
    >:shrug: Threeways are fine too.
    >> Commissarial Coat 12/03/11(Sat)23:43 No.17099271
    >cock it

    Op, your witticisms never cease to bring smiles to my face. Just as your descriptions never cease to bring smiles to other parts of me.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)23:46 No.17099298
    "Later, maybe..." You shrug, setting down the still toasty plasma gun behind you.

    "For now, let me give you another taste of MY plasma."

    Ailia opens her mouth, sticking out her tongue.

    "Guess again, xeno slut."
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)23:47 No.17099307
    yeah uhm, you better keep postin now mkay?
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)23:49 No.17099336
    You spin her around, revealing both her heresies to your throbbing power sword.

    Which one will you purge?
    >> Fireman Prime 12/03/11(Sat)23:50 No.17099345
    rolled 7 = 7

    Purge anterior heresy.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/03/11(Sat)23:56 No.17099413
    "You shall feel the hot wrath of my blade."

    You lower the titan's cannon toward her eye of terror.

    "No! That hole isn't for the greater good!"

    She struggles in vain as your ship steadies itself, preparing to enter the breach of the warp.
    >> Fireman Prime 12/03/11(Sat)23:57 No.17099425
    Oh my God, these cheesy puns.
    Guys, if you've ever wanted to know what a contraband Imperium porn-slate's puns would consist of, Papa-N has made them.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)23:59 No.17099439
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    Closest I could get to a tau blowjob simulator
    go modding > paste into text box > load

    for the emperor, etc
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/04/11(Sun)00:00 No.17099447
    But before you can press forward into her dark heresy, a baneblade pops up from underneath one of the instrument panels.

    The barrel turns to you and obliterates the Crisis battle suit from the inside out.

    >> Fireman Prime 12/04/11(Sun)00:05 No.17099498
    The fact that somebody, like you, went out of there way to make a Tau blowjob simulator, at all, is proof that /tg/ is the... well, most interesting of all the boards.
    >> Anonymous 12/04/11(Sun)00:06 No.17099503
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    should have used a better image i guess
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/04/11(Sun)00:08 No.17099526

    Even TACTICAL GENIUS hurrr isn't going to stop you.

    "I must purge the heretics!" You cry.

    "No, Max, you are the heretics."

    And then Max was a chaos primarch.
    >> Fireman Prime 12/04/11(Sun)00:10 No.17099535
    Max is secretly Omegon.
    It all makes sense now.
    >> Anonymous 12/04/11(Sun)00:10 No.17099538
    a cautionary tale of heresy
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/04/11(Sun)00:12 No.17099560
    "For SLAANESH!!!" You howl as you press forward with your seventeen penises.

    "There is no way those will fit! Stop! NOOOO!"

    Its too late, you thrust forward and drive them home, feeling the warp overtaking you.

    Your monster dicks shoot out and invade every greater good this xeno fuck toy has to offer.
    >> Anonymous 12/04/11(Sun)00:17 No.17099589
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/04/11(Sun)00:20 No.17099621
    You focus the warp and pull Lychria and Esh to you through it.

    "By the Emperor, what heresy is this!"

    "Oi! Mon-keigh, whats the big... By Uthwe NO!"

    You remove enough of your squirming daemon princes to be able to violate both of them.

    "So many holes, I WANT THEM ALL!"
    >> Fireman Prime 12/04/11(Sun)00:22 No.17099635
    Max is evolving!
    Max evolved into KEEPER OF SECRETS!
    Max learned SPATIAL RAPE!
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/04/11(Sun)00:28 No.17099691
    You fill every available hole in your prayer of obscene pleasure to your new god.

    The three girls struggle, but there is no escape.

    And there are no brakes on the rape train.

    Your purple, bumpy, throbbing dicks violate them in their tight pink purity seals, their wet pleasure caves, and their protesting mouths.

    You start to climax.

    Unfortunately for them, when a Slaanesh daemon of your magnitude cums, they can keep it up for several decades if they so desire.

    Purple daemon-batter floods out of every hole and the three struggling girls suddenly go slack against their penis-bonds, unable to escape.
    >> Anonymous 12/04/11(Sun)00:34 No.17099751
    >well, i hope it keeps them well fed
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/04/11(Sun)00:36 No.17099766
    "And so that's why, idiot mon-keigh, nothing will ever happen between us!" Esh yells before hanging up.

    What in the actual fuck did you just hear that tsunseer describe?
    >> Fireman Prime 12/04/11(Sun)00:42 No.17099809
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    OP wins again.
    My god, I'm excited for the next thread.
    >> mick824 12/04/11(Sun)00:46 No.17099836
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    dam Papa-N you're good with the trollin
    >> Anonymous 12/04/11(Sun)00:48 No.17099850
    and how does she know about the other 2?

    bitch be creeping
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/04/11(Sun)00:51 No.17099874
    >Super space elf psychic
    >yfw you realize she knows everything that went on in that cockpit earlier
    >> Anonymous 12/04/11(Sun)00:52 No.17099886
    well so much for eldar poon.
    >> Fireman Prime 12/04/11(Sun)00:57 No.17099927
    This is either terrible news for our love-life or fantastic news for our love-life, depending on her tastes.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/04/11(Sun)01:01 No.17099961
    >implying she wasn't shlicking herself the whole time she was watching, while thinking about you eating out her ass

    or maybe she wasn't. Who knows really?
    >> Anonymous 12/04/11(Sun)01:02 No.17099971
    how did the farseer end up in our shelter if we built one for her...
    >> Fireman Prime 12/04/11(Sun)01:04 No.17099986
    >Fire up the Gellar Fields, prepare the Warpsbane Incants...
    >...we've got a few questions for Tzeentch alright...
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/04/11(Sun)01:09 No.17100024

    ...As your ship exits the field you fire up your comunicatus devices.

    "Tzeentch, heed my call."

    For a moment, silence.

    But than...

    "I'm busy right now, GO AWAY!"

    You notice, just before the feed cuts out, that she is busily fingerbanging herself...

    ...To a picture of none other than the Emprah himself.
    >> Fireman Prime 12/04/11(Sun)01:12 No.17100056
    Papa-N, you never cease amazing me with just how many 40k rabbit holes you go down hilariously fast, and in the space of 3 threads...
    You are truly a God among tripfags.
    >> Anonymous 12/04/11(Sun)01:13 No.17100070
    the fuck?
    >> Anonymous 12/04/11(Sun)01:17 No.17100106
    thought tau have miniscule presence in the warp, the farseer probably thought you were 'baiting
    >> Anonymous 12/04/11(Sun)01:18 No.17100123
    rolled 5 = 5

    i want to have your babies Papa-N
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/04/11(Sun)01:20 No.17100138
    In a crisis battle suit she knows you have no idea how to pilot without using either of your hands? Nah man, she knows.

    >she knows everything
    >> Anonymous 12/04/11(Sun)01:25 No.17100188
    battle suit has even less warp presence. Unless she's over the hill directly looking, she might feel some of the euphoric sensations max is experiencing, only if their minds are entangled though...

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