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  • File : 1322852201.jpg-(123 KB, 926x1200, Flying Dragon.jpg)
    123 KB Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)13:56 No.17084727  
    Good Afternoon /tg/! For those of you joining us, it is Friday, December second, and three days since /tg/ became aware of the latest, greatest Fantasy Heartbreaker, "Realms of Atlantasia."

    suptg archive link:

    download-a-.pdf link

    The game is... to put it honestly, a pile of shit. It's supposedly the culmination of 18 years worth of work, and boy, it's about as disorganized as anything you would take 18 years to make. It reads as if it was created by someone who had no exposure to gaming outside of D&D made themselves a game.

    Naturally, I did what any good Gamer does in these situations, and attempted Character generation. I started it at 7:13 pm on Wendsday night.

    That, was my first mistake. After a full day of work, and facing another one the next day, i petered out at 10pm, made a quick "the currency is fucked up" post in the morning, and then was stuck at work from 6 am to 4:30 pm, driving an hour and a half to school, where my time was rigidly wasted from 6pm to 9pm, before I could take the hour and a half drive home.

    No sympathy please, just throw money.

    Anyhow!: my attempt at character generation has required:

    >87 separate die rolls
    >Consultation of pages 1-31, 191, 248, and 524-526, all the pages after 31 I had to self-locate due to (1) No Index, and (2) poor layout that makes Synnibar look professionally edited.
    >3 actual choices (Gender, Class, and Race of My Character, all of which I made Via Dice rolls.)

    Up next: What I have generated *this Far*
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)14:10 No.17084844
         File1322853048.jpg-(374 KB, 2152x1297, SpiderDwarf.jpg)
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    >Str: 11, Con: 11
    >Int: 12, MQu: 9
    >Wis: 8, Ret: 8
    >Dex: 10, Agi: 8
    >Cha: 8, Mag: 1
    >PStr: 6, PDef: 8 (10 with Ring)

    >Race: Dwarf.

    >Profession: Spy. (shhhh)

    >Suggested Dual Class: Warrior.

    >because my Stats are high (it is very, very easy to get high stats in this game, and equally easy to get abysmal ones, as my Magnetisim (Mag) score illustrates), I get +2 damage, +3 to each LP die, +4 languages, +25% on learning rolls, +10% diplomatic rolls, +1 to spell rolls, +25% reaction rolls, +10% pickpocket rolls, +20% to charm rolls, x2 Spell damage, and +55% to spell save rolls!

    >5 Platinum Chips, 100 Gold Chips, 400 Silver Chips, 30,000 Copper Chips, 13,200 Gold Chips in Gems, 2,600 Gold Chips in Gems (none of which are magical), A Magic Ring Of Blocking, which, in spite of being more powerful than everything else this far acquired, has no cash value.

    >64% left handed, 23% right handed: these rolls have *no other function* then to make me left handed.

    >42% Base To-Hit (Augmented by Weapon Proficiency, soon.)

    >30% Base Defense (augmented by armor: soon)

    >Locate Traps: 1%, Locate Secret Doors: 1%, Extra Hearing: 10%, Climb Walls: 5% (35% with my bonus talent as a spider!), Hide in Shadows: 5%, Use Disguise: 10%

    My Bonus talent as a spider has made me affectionately name my character "Pietri Unterparker". a Nice, Dorfy name if ever there was one.

    >Born on the Second day, I'm sorry, "Cycle" of the "Water Season", 186 years, I'm sorry, "rebirths" ago. This *still* makes me think of my dishwasher.

    >I have 11 Hit, er, Life points.

    And now, I think I'm almost done rolling. It's time to visit the actual stores! I'm diving in to Realms of Atlantasia, Page 31.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)14:21 No.17084947

    Please continue.
    >> hungarian LARPfag 12/02/11(Fri)14:29 No.17085017
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    I salute your bravery OP
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)14:34 No.17085052
         File1322854446.jpg-(11 KB, 200x200, Copper Chips.jpg)
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    Oh, right, I almost forgot to mention:

    The Realms of Atlantaisia have Four denominations of "chips" (Platinum, gold, etc. etc. Just like D&D) But, unfortunately, no chart explaining how many of X there is to a Y.

    Seriously, There is no point at all in the book where they explain how many copper chips go into a silver, or how many silver go in a gold. So, I have functionally 5 platinum, 15,900 gold (after converting gems and jewels into cash), 400 silver, and 30,000 copper. And i can't express that as any other value. I don't know if I have enough copper to make a single silver, or 3,000 of them, and I definitely don't know if I have enough gold to make another platinum.

    Luckily, scrolling through the Equipment section (called "shops"), to the General Store inventory page, I find that 1 cycle of rations (Basic) is 800 S.C. (Silver, naturally.), and 7 cycles of rations (Basic) is only 4 G.C. At the same time: 1 cycle of rations (fine) is 5 G.C., and 7 cycles is 30 G.C.

    So, either the exchange rate is off, or it looks like general stores here offer discounts for buying in bulk. Even in Atlantasia, Costco is still very much in business.

    However, the exchange rate is still troubling: if you can buy 7 days worth of rations, for the cost of 6, that means that 4 Gold = 6 x 800 silvers = 4,800 silvers.

    4,800 / 4 = 1,200 silvers to the gold.

    Oh gods I hope I'm wrong about his exchange rate system. Because if the denominations carry... My 30,000 Copper = 25 silver, and my resulting 425 silver are nowhere near making so much as one extra gold coin... but i could cash in 15,900 gold chips for 13 extra platinum (with a few left over).

    As it is, i think i'll keep my cash in it's appropriately fucked-up denominations.
    >> hungarian LARPfag 12/02/11(Fri)14:38 No.17085086

    and nobody knows how much time actually 1 ss which is a combat turn.
    but 200 ss is one cycle which probably one day
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)14:39 No.17085091
    maybe you cant't convert them and they are all basically different currencys?
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)14:41 No.17085103
    That would mean that 1ss would be about 7 minutes and 12 seconds,a very odd number, but hey!
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)14:43 No.17085122
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    Finally, after complaining for three posts, I am going to return to actually making the damn character. And it is about goddamn time.

    I'll start with shoping at the Armory. I have....

    >looks at previous post.

    "5 platinum, 15,900 gold, 400 silver, and 30,000 copper" to spend.

    As a Spy, i can wear any armor, and use any weapon I am strong enough to use. and as a Dwarf, My Dwarfy Physique (seriously 11 Str is like unto an Adonis for a 1st level character, I think I can Bench Press with my beard!) allows me to equip about 99% of stuff in this section.

    First thing for sale: Helms!
    A Plate Helm (requires 9 Str) costs 1600 G.C. And does... er... does... It does not appear on page 32.

    *deep sigh* Thankfully, Search is enabled on the Realms of Atlantasia .PDF

    >Ctrl + f

    on page 46, I find that a Plate Helm has Durability 40, and offers +5% Defense. Wearing this Helmet brings my defenses up to 35%!

    All at an entirely reasonable cost of 1,600 G.C.


    Well, if you want to be awesome, you've got to pay for it.

    I'll follow the same philosophy throughout my shopping expedition.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)14:45 No.17085136
    Good god, RoA is so terribad it's making me have second thoughts of finishing my own homebrew.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)14:47 No.17085148
    >30,000 copper chips
    God, that sounds delicious.

    >use disguise
    Hah! You can't even make a disguise!
    >> hungarian LARPfag 12/02/11(Fri)14:51 No.17085166

    did you found any weapon statistic besides the durability?
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)14:55 No.17085193
         File1322855732.jpg-(78 KB, 640x512, Don Hastily.jpg)
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    Plate Helm (1,600 G.C.) (40) (+5%)
    Platemail (3,000 G.C.) (55) (+17%)
    Heavy Steel Shield (1,500 G.C.) (45) (+15%)
    Steel Bracers (500 G.C.) (15) (+3%)
    Steel Shin Guards (600 G.C.) (20) (+5%)
    Plate Gauntlets (750 G.C.) (29) (+5%)

    Leaves me with 7950 Gold Chips, and bare feet. No Armored Boots?

    Actually, according to the section which describes what armor actually does, which is on page 46, 14 pages away from the section where you buy the armor, there *are* steel boots. But they aren't sold in the armory. As such, i will continue pressing on through the Shopping section until i find somethign to keep my toes from hurting when I drop a Rock on them.

    This whole affair has raised my Defensive value from 30%, which was pretty damn good for a level 1 character, to a whopping 80%. I don't know how that'll really work in combat, but i'm eager to find out, as I move into the next most important section: buying WEAPONS!
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)15:03 No.17085237
    >defensive value 80%
    I have no fucking idea how this game works, but it sounds like you've turned into Superdorf: The Dwarf of Steel.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)15:23 No.17085387
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    Don't give up, just learn from the awful. It's like watching MST3K, it is good to have someone point out all the little flaws, preferably with a comedic edge.

    Also: Hire an editor: and listen to them.

    Suprisingly: Yes! It's a great distance down though... we'll get there!

    SO: Weapons section: Now I'm a Spy, and a wall climber, so that says "Subtle, and small, quiet".

    But I'm also a Dwarf! and Dual-Classing as a warrior (oh gods, i just realized... I have to Dual class! More Dice Rolling! Nooooooo!) so that says LOUD! and EFFECTIVE weapons! Only one thing to do!

    >Get Drunk?

    Yes! Er, No, I mean, Buy More than one weapon!

    Starting with Knives for the Dirty work, I find that a Dagger costs 100 G. C. Please note that a Dagger is CLEARLY superior to either a Dirk or a Throwing Knife. How do I know this? Because it COSTS more, and more expensive in an RPG is always better.

    Also: because if I skip ahead form page 33 to page 45 "Damage and Durability" i find that a Dirk inflicts d4 - 1 damage, and a dagger inflicts a whole d4. Totally worth an extra 25 G.C., isn't it?

    >field too long.

    In my next post: the real bloodshed begins...
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)15:27 No.17085429
    So, now for something to smash people with: a War Hammer sounds awesome, and at only 4,600 G.C. it's the most affordable of the coveted "d12+4" damage grouping, in spite of being absolutely identical to the other two weapons in every way. Huh. Also, as a War Hammer, I mean, we can all agree what a war hammer is, right? it's a one-handed blunt object of death. It's fellow d12+4 damage dealers are a Claymore (5k) and a War Axe (5k). Both two-handed weapons (well, the claymore definitely, i don't know about the "war axe".

    Finally, I need something to kill people from long distances: both as a Warrior, and as a "lone spy on the Grassy Knoll" kinda thing. I'm leaning heavily towards the "Heavy Crossbow" for 2,200 G.C. and to shoot at people, 25 Woo... Wait.

    Page 34. Last two table entries.

    "25 wood bolts: 75 G.C."
    "25 wood bolts: 300 G.C."

    Clearly, he's supposed to have made that second "wood" into, i dunno, Steel. But he screwed that up. so now, by the book, we don't even have consistency over the value of 25 wood bolts.

    Well, I'm buying the cheaper wood bolts. No sense in putting premium wood bolts when you're just gonna give 'em all away. Point first. In soft areas. I'm digressing.

    So, damage for this little shopping spree leaves me at 975 G. C.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)15:38 No.17085512
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    And what items did i Buy with my money now?

    Name - Cost - Damage - Durability (found on page 45)

    Dagger: (100 G.C.), (1d4), (10)
    War Hammer (4600 G.C.), (1d12+4), (45)
    Heavy Crossbow (2,200 G.C.) (-) (20)
    Wood Bolts (75 G.C.), (1d4+5), (4)

    Furthermore, My high strength gives me +2 damage. Note that this isn't "+2 in melee" it's just a flat +2 damage. So the crossbow in my hands deals 1d4+7 damage on a hit., and the War hammer does 1d12+6.

    Of course, i have a flat 42% to-hit proficiency, so while I may be the Dwarf of Steel, I am sadly, not the Dwarf that Never misses.

    Next up: I move on to visit the General Store, Maybe now I can spend some Silver or Copper?
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)15:41 No.17085543
    Damn it, Work just called. Back to the grindstone... i'll be back to finish shopping later in the evening.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)17:34 No.17086405
    Finally. A defective GFCI receptacle was replaced, a vehicle repaired, and a crisis averted. All I could think about the whole time was Spider, Dwarf of Steel.

    The Game itself is terribad, but only because it's so disorganized... and takes so fucking much to generate a character.

    Anyway, on to the general store.

    I'll buy 1 "cycle" of Fine quality Rations for 5 G.C., and finally tap into my small reservoir of S.C. by a quart of basic Wine for 10 Silver. It actually disturbs me that Water is so expensive, four gallons of water cost three times as much as one quart of wine. The pricing here feels all over the scale. Cider is four times as expensive as common wine, and oil is half as expensive as cider. Being a Dwarf, I naturally expect to drink heavily, but I think I can live with just one quart of it for this cycle (all 20 minutes of it... maybe.) I'll also pick up two flasks of Oil. One is for lighting on fire, the other is for throwing on people, THEN lighting on fire.

    On to basic Adventuring Gear. Here uncatalogued under a "misc. items" box. And, once again, we've got some discrepancies.

    Rope is ten silver, but HEMP rope is fifty. What is rope made out of if it isn't hemp? and how is it cheaper than hemp? A tinder box (good for ten fires) is eight silver, but a flint (which you need to start a tinder) is a whole gold. A Basic 1st aid kit (first aid, itself, is a concept that seems out of place in a fantasy world of dwarves and elves, but that's just my opinion) costs twenty silver, and advanced costs thirty gold... what do they do? How do they justify that one costs (perhaps, we still haven't found a solid exchange rate) 1,500 times as much as the other? We don't know! because there is no other place in the rules that 1st aid kits are mentioned!

    1 Cycle of Fine Rations (5 G.C.)
    1 flask of basic wine (10 S.C.)
    2 flasks of Oil (20 S.C.)
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)17:47 No.17086511
    Keeping a running shopping list: since I want this character to be fully ready for anything.

    Nothing helps a climber quite like Rope, so I'll buy the cheap stuff. A Tinder Box (and Flint) go next, then a basic first aid kit, a small blanket, and a small tent. A folding Cot, and a pot & pan set

    1 Cycle of Fine Rations (5 G.C.)
    1 flask of basic wine (10 S.C.)
    2 flasks of Oil (40 S.C.)
    2 rope (50': 20 s.c.)
    1 Tinder Box (8 S.C.)
    1 Flint (1 G.C.)
    1 Small Blanket (8 S.C.)
    1 Small Tent (10 G.C.)
    1 Cot (folding) (5 S.C.)
    1 Pot & Pan Set (5 S.C.)

    Again with the arbitrary pricing. Eating good food for a day will buy you a tent. But remember, A Common ration for one "cycle" costs 800 silver coins. For the same price as a cheap meal you can buy 160 folding beds, or 160 pot & pan sets to cook your 1 Cycle worth of Food.

    Head, meet desk.

    How's my cash flow doing, now that i'm out of there?

    >5 platinum, 959 Gold, 304 Silver, 30,000 copper.

    Well, i guess it's time to trudge into the stables.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)18:06 No.17086646
    And time to trudge right back out again. I'm not getting so much as a Pony without spending 780 Gold on a Pony, Saddlery, and Feedlot.

    Incidentally, oats, the long time horse fodder? The stuff that they they normally feed horses? Yeah, it costs 6 times as much as basic feed. 30 G.C. for 7 cycles of Oats. It costs as much to feed a Horse Oats for 7 cycles, as it costs to feed a person "fine" quality food.

    Okay, on to the Tailor.

    Now, according to the "Complete set of armor nd clothes that can be worn at one time" on page 47 (not too far off, the tailor is on page 37) I can buy myself a Shirt, breaches, cloak (or cape), 9 rings, and 3 medallions, in addition to the things I am already wearing.

    The sad thing is: he forgot to mention that you can wear boots.

    Okay. A Wool Cloak will cost me 85 C.C. and: fun stuff: according to the equipment explanation chart, on page 46, a Cloak has a Durability of 4, and offers an extra 2% defense.

    Yes, I just spent 85 copper to raise my Defense by 2%. I think it's the cheapest upgrade in the game.

    Okay. Leather Tunic (19 Silver) & Cotton Breeches (25 Silver) so i don't look like too much of a reject at the Ren Faire.

    And finally, FINALLY: on page 37: BOOTS.


    "Leather -> Hard Leather -> Hard with Trinkets"


    No steel boots.

    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)18:27 No.17086819

    Fuck it, Buying the High Boots that are "Hard leather, with Trinkets" and COUNTS AS-ing them to be steel. Fuck your game. fuck it fuck it. they're steel for 30 gold. 18 durability, +4% defense.

    Yeah, my Dwarf has 86% defenses, right now. is it Good? I DON'T REALLY KNOW! Why? because I haven;t found out how combat works yet! I'm only on page 37 of this damn character creation section... Still buying equipment.

    Ahh, Apothecary! now all those nifty little things that do things to keep players alive. All these roots are pretty pricey, so i'll just pass on buying anythign else here.

    >5 platinum, 929 Gold, 260 Silver, 29,915 copper.

    Next section is magical scrolls, which are all way out of my price range now that i'm armed and armored.

    Fun fact: any career can use any scroll, and they all take 2 s.s. to cast, (14.4 minutes, we think) Including the most powerful scroll i have ever seen: From the Bards "Shame". It forces everyone in the room to pay 1,000 G.C. Each.

    Thing is, it only costs 4,500 G.C. to buy. So: get five people in the room with you when you cast it, and you'll make a profit. Get nine people in the room, and you can buy two scrolls off the returns. Read this to a concert hall, and you're getting the picture, right?

    Also: more improper pricing: A Heal spell for 1-10 LP, costs 75 gc to cast from a scroll, and takes 2 s.s. A Heal spell from a potion takes 1 s.s. to cast, and costs 50 gc

    This is stupid. It is stupid and I hate it, but i'm going to finish, and then i'll run a mock combat. Even if it takes me all freaking night.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)18:36 No.17086892

    roll for sanity please
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)18:42 No.17086970
    rolled 18 = 18

    That's a d100 check, right?

    Oh fuck, it's getting to me.

    Okay, next section: Maps! Skip them. Map Cases: Skip. Sage Prices (for identifying magic objects) No, my father gave me this ring, i know damn well what it does. Skip.Information? I know everything i need to get this far! And so, on page 45, I am DONE equipping my character!

    This calls for an updated character sheet.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)19:28 No.17087364
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    >Str: 11, Con: 11
    >Int: 12, MQu: 9
    >Wis: 8, Ret: 8
    >Dex: 10, Agi: 8
    >Cha: 8, Mag: 1
    >PStr: 6, PDef: 8 (10 with Ring)

    Important Character Stuff:

    >Race: Dwarf.

    >Profession: Spy. (shhhh)

    >Suggested Dual Class: Warrior.

    >I get +2 damage, +3 to each LP die, +4 languages (Start with Common and Dwarven, must learn other 4), +25% on learning rolls, +10% diplomatic rolls, +1 to spell rolls, +25% reaction rolls, +10% pickpocket rolls, +20% to charm rolls, x2 Spell damage, +55% to spell save rolls, Locate Traps: 1%, Locate Secret Doors: 1%, Extra Hearing: 10%, Climb Walls: 5% (35% with my bonus talent as a spider!), Hide in Shadows: 5%, Use Disguise: 10%

    >42% Base To-Hit

    >30% Base Defense (augmented by armor to 86%)

    >I have 11 Hit, er, Life points.

    Meaningless Character Stuff

    >64% left handed, 23% right handed: these rolls have *no other function* then to make me left handed.

    >Born on the Second day, I'm sorry, "Cycle" of the "Water Season", 186 years, I'm sorry, "rebirths" ago. This *still* makes me think of my dishwasher.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)19:30 No.17087384
    My Equipment!


    >Ring of Blocking (+2 PDef)


    >Plate Helm (40) (+5%)
    >Platemail (55) (+17%)
    >Heavy Steel Shield (45) (+15%)
    >Steel Bracers (15) (+3%)
    >Steel Shin Guards (20) (+5%)
    >Plate Gauntlets (29) (+5%)
    >Steel Boots Counts-as (18) (+4%)
    >Woolen Cloak (4) (+2%)

    >Dagger, (1d4), (10)
    >War Hammer (1d12+4), (45)
    >Heavy Crossbow (-) (20)
    >Wood Bolts (1d4+5), (4)


    >1 Cycle of Fine Rations
    >1 flask of basic wine
    >2 flasks of Oil
    >2 rope (50')
    >1 Tinder Box
    >1 Flint
    >1 Small Blanket
    >1 Small Tent
    >1 Cot (folding)
    >1 Pot & Pan Set
    >Leather Tunic
    >Cotton Breeches


    >5 platinum, 929 Gold, 260 Silver, 29,915 copper.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)19:42 No.17087475
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    FINALLY! Page 47: Attack & Defense calculations!

    Okay, Fighting is... disappointingly simple.

    Step 1: Determine attack order: whoever has the higher Dexterity goes first. What if two have the same dexterity? The rules don't say. Probably go to agility? I don't care, move on.

    Okay, so, roll percentile, and modify for Hit Placement... I have a 42% to-hit, so I loose 1% from my attack placement rolls, meaning I am incapable of getting a perfect 100% (Decapitation) strike. Somehow, I think i'll live.

    Next, roll % Again, to determine Precision of the strike, Rolling Under 21% is bad, Rolling over 64% is good! on a perfect 100%, you inflict 10x the damage you roll with your damage dice.

    If you miss, you roll % (big surprise) for a precision roll to determine how bad the miss is and... Holy shit. 35% chance of hitting yourself for 1x-3x damage.

    I have 11 hit points.

    My strongest weapon can inflict 1d12+6 damage...


    I think i'll stick with a dagger for my first offensive.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)19:50 No.17087528
    >Now, according to the "Complete set of armor nd clothes that can be worn at one time" on page 47 (not too far off, the tailor is on page 37) I can buy myself a Shirt, breaches, cloak (or cape), 9 rings,
    >and 3 medallions, in addition to the things I am already wearing.

    >9 rings

    Sooo...three on each hand plus pierced nipples and knob? o_O
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)19:52 No.17087552

    or one ring in each finger except the main "fuck you" finger
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)19:56 No.17087595
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    Okay, well, maybe this'll all balance out in defense? I have a rock solid 86% defense, let's read...

    Okay, if my Defense % (86%) is lower than my opponent's To-hit % (unlikely, but i wouldn't put it past this game)... There's roughly a 35% chance i will MULTIPLY my opponent's damage (which, if they roll well on precision, will allready be multiplied, how does this system handle stacking multipliers? It doesn't say. So I might end up doubling or even tripling an 10x damage attack.) Oddly, there's also a 44% chance of reducing the damage inflicted.

    If my Defense % is Higher than my opponent's to-hit % (much more likely, but let's not put it past them), instead of a 35% chance of taking extra damage, there's only a 20% chance. and a 54% chance of reducing damage inflicted.

    It might work... but to resolve one attack, The attacker needs to roll 2d100 and then damage dice, and the target needs to roll 2d100

    One weapon, the Cat o' Nine tails, only inflicts d4 damage, but it gets 9 attacks per round.


    Chew on that for a minute, having to roll 18d100 and then all assorted weapon damage and multipliers.

    Okay. The rest of this chapter (whats left of it) is about magical combat. I doubt I'll need that, as a spy with 0 spells to my name, so I'm skipping it. Especially the gigantic, ugly chart about casting spells during the season of chaos.

    Okay, am I ready to fight something now?

    Oh hell no! I just found the "skill charts"!
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)19:57 No.17087605
    You can actually wear 10 rings, but I have one sooo... I like your version better :P
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)20:07 No.17087696

    Diplomacy: 30% of all Diplomatic conversations start a battle or a war.

    Dickering: 50% will go blind and get hairy palms.... oh, wait, i'm sorry, 50% of people who argue about a price will find it doubled or worse.

    Attraction: 25% of the time the entire city is apathetic to a clear and present danger.

    And finally: Splitting up Experience: Apparently, you only get EXP if you do things that your class is supposed to do.

    And now: Starting on page Fifty-six. Random Encounter Charts. This is it. This is the part i've been waiting for. The Fight. Our Hero, Spider, Dwarf of Steel, Will now fight a single Random Encounter.

    And it's audience participation time. If i have an audience.

    Roll a d20, that'll determine Which Random encounter chart gets used!
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)20:09 No.17087713
    rolled 3 = 3

    Rolling for horror show.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)20:10 No.17087727
    A 3 puts us on the Plains during the Day! d100 please!
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)20:11 No.17087748
    rolled 25 = 25

    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)20:13 No.17087762
    A Merchant! 1 to 10 of them... d10 please? Also: Every Merchant will have 4 4th level warriors.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)20:13 No.17087769
    rolled 6 = 6

    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)20:13 No.17087778
    I meant to say 4 20th level warriros
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)20:14 No.17087781
    rolled 10 = 10

    What hath been unleashed upon this earth...
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)20:14 No.17087785
    OP is completely fucked...
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)20:14 No.17087794
    >>17087769 here, I endorse >>17087781
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)20:16 No.17087819


    I am completely Fucked.

    Not just because I'm looking at 10 merchants and forty 20th level fighters... but because...

    I'll have to now roll up Forty 20th level fighters...

    I wish Emoticons weren't unbecoming of this board.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)20:17 No.17087823
    Maybe they'll miss him and disembowel themselves?
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)20:17 No.17087829
    Chug! Chug! Chug!
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)20:19 No.17087847
    rolled 4, 7, 8, 9, 10 = 38

    Okay, digging through the Game, i found, on page 67, Rules for quickly making Encounter-Ready fighters....

    "quickly" in terms of this game that is.

    For the sake of my own sanity, i will do it with one fighter, then copy-paste his stats for all 19 of his allies.

    Step 1. Roll 1d10 for Str, Con, Dex, Agility, and PDef.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)20:21 No.17087864
    Well... fuck.
    I'm assuming our intrepid Dwarf of Steel is first level?

    ...I dread to think of what the level advancement charts looks like.

    Oh, that's a minor relief. Insofar as anything concerning this game can be considered relieving.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)20:24 No.17087903
    rolled 3, 5 = 8


    >4, 7, 8, 9, 10

    Our Generic Fighter-men have Str 4, Con 7, Dex 8, Agi 9, and P-Def 10.

    Fucking hell, I'm better than them at everything. Especially Str. With a Strength that low, they won't be able to equip most armor or weapons!

    They Get Defense = 20% + armor, Attacks, same as fighter class, damage by Str & weapon, LPs... 2d6 + 1d8/lvl (I assume CON is supposed to be in there too, but he forgot it, and i';m not going to correct him.)

    Also, these fighters each have 55% chance of having magic weapons, armor, rings, etc on their persons.

    Well, time to roll the HP,
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)20:26 No.17087919
    rolled 7, 3, 3, 2, 1, 5, 2, 6, 1, 5, 8, 7, 4, 6, 3, 7, 6, 7, 8 = 91

    the 2d6 are for first level, these 19d8 are for levels 2-20
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)20:29 No.17087952
    So, our typical Fighting Man, has an even 100 hp, Fantastic. Consulting the book to find out their to-hit % now.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)20:31 No.17087959
    >coup de gras

    it roughly translates as "fat blow"
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)20:35 No.17088013
    Okay, fighters gain 1% weapon proficiency per 2 levels. And these Fighters, because of their abysmal stats, only have 15% Proficiency to start with... But they also gain 9% leveling up 2-10 and 20% leveling up 11-20...

    So 15 + 19 + 9 + 20 = 63% Attack proficiency!

    This means my armor is better, and I'll get to use the less punishing defensive roll chart!

    I may not be doomed yet!
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)20:42 No.17088086
         File1322876529.jpg-(66 KB, 512x640, Golem Legions.jpg)
    66 KB
    I imagine most of those 10 swords are lodged in the fat somewhere. And yes, I did make that motivational poster... many, may years ago. When my spelling sucked.

    Okay, Defensively, these guys have an Agility of 9, which isn;t terri-bad... but the awesome thing is: because they do not have a Mental Quickness stat, they only get to add 15% to their existing 10% base.

    Of course, leveling Up also increases defenses, 9% for 2-10 and 20% for 11-20.

    10+15+9+20=54%, Plus armor. My Offensive abilities are only 42%, So the Baddies will also be using the Lower Damage chart.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)20:59 No.17088220
    rolled 60, 99 = 159

    Okay, I think i have enough of my enemies for now.

    Weapons: biggest they can equip is a Short Sword. (d6)
    For armor: a small wooden shield (heaviest kind they can equip: +15% defense)

    I guess It's up to me to start this fight...

    So, Spider, Dwarf of Steel, is skulking his way through the plains, in the middle of broad daylight. When he sees a carrivan of 50 people. 40 of them are anorexics with sandals, short swords, and tavern serving trays strapped to their arms. the other 10 are carrying so much money in their pockets that each of them has two of the anorexic lads helping them hold their pants up. The anorexics look pissed off, especially about the pants holding.

    Clearly, these are people you feel like you could tangle with.

    And now, where shit gets fucked up. See, there's no rules for "attacking at range" or "movement" So, we'll have to all use our imaginations here folks... and right now, i'm imagining that Spider, Dwarf of steel is about a quarter mile away, using his "hide in Shadows" bonus of +5% to stay out of line of sight from the Malnourished soldiers.

    Since the skill to detect someone hiding in shadows is "sense movement" (again, skills never explained), and fighters do not gain a bonus to that, the 2nd roll will be the fighter's "sense movement" roll... which, realisticly, should be penalized for distance, non proficiency, and gnawing on the edge of his own shield... but what you gonna do.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)21:00 No.17088237
    rolled 24, 70 = 94

    >60 +5% = 65%
    >99% = 99%

    FFFFFUUUUCK. One of the the fighters detected me. Okay, i'm still a long way off... What is he gonna do next audience?
    >> ­ 12/02/11(Fri)21:00 No.17088238
    Ok, ok. I just did some calculations. Assuming that a round of combat is 1 second, a year is 16 2/3 minutes.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)21:02 No.17088255
         File1322877768.gif-(1.32 MB, 250x188, fat-guy-belly-bump.gif)
    1.32 MB
    Fat blow as in "I hit you with my fat", not "I hit you in the fat".
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)21:03 No.17088257
    rolled 8, 97 = 105

    We know, Time in this universe is fucked up. I mean, get ice in your drink and a full year goes by before it melts. Chaos Dragons, breeding in everyone's dining rooms, rutting away for several minutes without a care in the multiverse. it's all horrible.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)21:07 No.17088288
    If i was him, I'd scream and gesticulate offensively in your direction.
    >> ­ 12/02/11(Fri)21:07 No.17088290
    Oh shit, totally missed you guys doing the calcs on that. Though hey, the average human would only be alive for about 1000 min or so to witness the insanity.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)21:10 No.17088307
    rolled 98 = 98


    Alright. One level 20 Fighter, fevered with hunger as he is, Hoots like a Marmoset on laudinum, and Charges my distant position.


    s.s. 1: Initiative: Spider: dwarf of Steel! has the first action here.

    I'm going to unsling my Heavy Crossbow, Load a Wooden Bolt, and Shoot the Howling, Charging level 20 fighter... Oh gods i'm gonna get raped. Attack +42% vs Defense +69%

    Rolling for Placement.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)21:12 No.17088323
    rolled 51 = 51

    WOO HOO! Headshot! Even with the -1 I suffer to placement for my low attack % (how dare I have 42%.) I still put it squarely in his temple. Now, rolling precision.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)21:12 No.17088326

    Oh, so "Meat Shot"
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)21:15 No.17088342
    rolled 57 = 57

    With 51% precision, I will inflict a d4+2 damage to my target...

    as long as he doesn't have anything to say about it. Now it's his defensive turn: and he's rolling to reduce damage by blocking with his shield
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)21:17 No.17088354
    rolled 1 = 1

    His armor is hit! 1/2 damage (rolling now 1d4+2) and his armor looses 1d8 durability... for reference sake, the small wooden shields our emaciated combatant foes have are only durability of 10
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)21:19 No.17088367
    rolled 5 = 5

    Sorry, got my damage on the crossbow wrong, it's actually 1d4+7, so I inflict 8 damage to the warrior by shooting him in the head. His shield takes 1d8 points of damage now... here's hoping it breaks...
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)21:20 No.17088382
    rolled 5 = 5

    So, at the end of my initiative pass: I have 24 Crossbow Bolts,
    The Warrior has 95 life poitns,
    and the warrior's shield has 5 durability remaining. Fighter's turn!
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)21:23 No.17088397
    rolled 7 = 7

    *sigh* 92 life points.

    Okay, /tg/ before I shot him, the fighter just hooted and gesticulated wildly at me. Now, he's been shot. What's he going to do?
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)21:40 No.17088527
    rolled 97 = 97

    I'mma gonna guess "Charge like he means it"

    Since movement in this game is completely undefined, (only creatures i can find that even have move speeds listed are tree-ents, and june bugs) I'm gonna say that in the one s.s. he has the speed to move 60' in a charge. Sound good? Sound fair? The good thing is, I set myself up at a quarter mile away, 1320 feet. Which I am shooting easily with a heavy crossbow, because this game also does not have range limitations. It will take him 22 s.s, Two whole Segments (and a bit) to reach me. And since he has no ranged weapons... I might as well just pass his turn a couple of times.

    Yes, it's not in the spirit of the game, but, fuck the spirit, I have a grudge against this system, and i'll see it burn by it's own rules.

    So: s.s. 2: Electric boogaloo. and I find that i did round 1 incorrectly, but screw it, I'll do this one right.

    First, I have to roll Under my weapons proficiency: (42%) My dice are modified by -1 because of my Low proficiency value.

    Second % is either placement, or my fumble roll. Wish me luck
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)21:41 No.17088538
    rolled 67 = 67

    The Dice are not kind. Because i greatly exceeded 42%, i now get to roll on the fumble chart. I have a good chance of killing myself here, since my attacks deal 1d4+7 damage, each.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)21:43 No.17088554
    rolled 4, 1 = 5

    "My weapon hits a hard surface, taking d6x2 off it's durability"

    I think i'll just make it 2d6. Heavy Crossbows have Durability of 20.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)21:43 No.17088559
         File1322880216.gif-(587 KB, 200x136, 23779.gif)
    587 KB
    Throw his sword!
    >keep it coming
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)21:45 No.17088575
    rolled 5 = 5

    So, 2nd s.s. Ends; Our results?
    >I am down to 23 Crossbow Bolts.
    >My Weapon is down to 15 durability.

    >My foe is at 92 Life points.
    >My foe's shield is at 5 Durability.

    And he's still running. Wow. Look at him go.

    On to s.s. 3. C'mon 42 or lower!
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)21:45 No.17088582

    Go attack a turtle, OP. Get some Negative XP up in this bitch.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)21:46 No.17088588
    rolled 57, 30 = 87


    Ah-HA! with a lowly 5, I HIT! Now, I roll 2d100, one for placement, the other for precision.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)21:49 No.17088611
    rolled 4 = 4

    57: uh-oh.
    >41 - 75%: chest & upper arms (roll for which and which arm)

    Aww crap. Do I have to? Okay. Once again, being told to roll something, without an additional chart. I'll throw a d6. 1 = left arm, 2 = right arm, 3+ = torso. Sound fair?

    >30: Even damage

    So he's taking 1d4+7 any way, as long as his defenses don't buck mine.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)21:50 No.17088621
    rolled 4 = 4

    So, he was shot in the torso. Now, I'll roll my damage. 1d4, Plus 7.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)21:52 No.17088632
    rolled 67 = 67

    4+7 = 11! max damage for a Heavy Crossbow bolt! As long as his defense doesn't kill me...
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)21:53 No.17088644
    rolled 3 = 3

    67: Armor is hit, 1/2 damage, armor takes 1d8 off durability.

    Well, that's the shield again: so the runner takes 5, (dropping him to 87) and his armor takes this much.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)21:54 No.17088651
    Oh god my sides
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)21:56 No.17088665
    rolled 30 = 30

    And now, Because someone suggested it, The Fighter will throw his short sword.

    Because there are no rules differentiating between ranged weapons and melee weapons, this is totally fair.

    So, the fighter has a 63% attack proficiency, so he needs under 63 here.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)21:58 No.17088678
    rolled 64, 90 = 154

    Success! The Fighter HURLS his short sword the remaining 1,200 feet across Atlantasia's wide amber waves of plains, He now rolls for placement and penetration.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)21:59 No.17088683
    Wow. That's terrible.
    How can someone spend 18 years working on a system, and leave it with gaping holes like that ?

    I really want the author's explanation.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:01 No.17088704
    rolled 4 = 4

    ...Fuck you RNG.

    With a 64, the Fighter puts his hurled shortsword squarely in my Chest / upper arms (roll to determine). 1d6 again for where, but it's really not going to matter much, because, that 90 will make his penetrating damage x4. effectively 4d6 damage. I still only have 11 life points... I better get a miracle on my defense roll... But first, this d6 is for where on my anatomy he's hitting.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:02 No.17088712
    rolled 96 = 96

    Square in the chest. this d100 is my defensive roll.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:04 No.17088726
    rolled 1 = 1

    >86 - 97%: attack glances off armor (0 damage; armor takes 1d4 off durability)


    FUCK YEAH! i'm still in this fight!

    Oh, my Platemail armor needs to take 1d4 damage Here that is.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:06 No.17088741
    I just took a look at the first thread and the links...

    >The Game Master's Bible is available online, both in print (for $44.95) and ebook (for $3.99). Holland is selling it on the website www.realmsofatlantasia.com, the iUniverse website, www.iuniverse.com, where it can be found by searching for The Realms of Atlantasia, and the websites of large bookstore chains including Chapters, Indigo, and Barnes and Noble. The soft cover book is $44.95, and the ebook sells for $3.99.

    >The next steps are to get the book into game stores in southern Alberta, and then onto the shelves in the large bookstores, he said.

    H>olland plans to auction a signed first edition, complete with documentation and a case, on eBay sometime in December.

    >He also wants to set up a game night at his Vulcan residence.

    That last sentence got me.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:10 No.17088764
    I thought that was a joke between fa/tg/uys, that it was not actually used in games...
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:11 No.17088774
    rolled 74 = 74


    So: at the end of s.s. 3:
    >I am down to 22 Wooden Crossbow Bolts
    >My Platemail Torso armor has 54 durability
    >My Heavy Crossbow has 15 durability
    >I have acquired a shiny new shortsword!
    >I am at 11 Life Points

    >The Fighter is 1,200 feet away.
    >He is down to 87 Life Points
    >His Shield is down to Durability 2

    And now, My turn to cull the herd again. I need under a 42.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:13 No.17088785
    0.5 down, 49 to go.

    Godspeed, you crazy Anon.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:14 No.17088789
    rolled 45 = 45

    Once again, I miss. I'm shooting with a crossbow from 1,200 feet, and I miss. Who'da thunk?

    Anhow, this roll is on the Miss table.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:17 No.17088804
    rolled 5, 2, 1, 5, 6 = 19

    >36 - 55%: weapon hits a hard surface taking x5 points off durability


    With a result like that, i'm gonna have to take another liberty with the rules as written.

    For one thing: I'm not actually using the Crossbow as the weapon, i'm using the crossbow bolts, okay? They also have Durability, and they are what really inflicts the damage. So this 5d6 in damage? it's being done to a crossbow bolt.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:18 No.17088810
    There, That's one unretrievable crossbow bolt. it shattered on a rock. Pity. Any suggestions for the Fighter's turn, before he resumes his grim jog towards me with only the ratty remains of his shield?
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:21 No.17088822
    can he throw his armor at you?
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:22 No.17088828
    Guess not. The fighter resumes his jogging...

    And, whats this?

    Why, it's a Rock!

    Out here! in the plains... all by itself.

    Does the fighter pick up the rock?
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:23 No.17088843
    The remains of his Small Wooden shield (heaviest armor a character with Str 4 can use) could conceivably be thrown at me, but it would cause his defenses to drop by 15%.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:29 No.17088884
    rolled 7 = 7

    Okay... The fighter decides to throw his Small wooden shield at the Dwarf. So, After charging forward another 60', closing the gap between the two to a mere 1,140 feet the Fighter Hurls his Wooden shield like a discuss. THis needs to be under 62.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:30 No.17088894
    rolled 19, 47 = 66

    Am I surprised? No. The RNG despises me tonight. Okay, Rolling for Placement and Penetration.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:31 No.17088895
    I think the other 39 fighters should trow their swords now.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:32 No.17088902
    rolled 2 = 2

    >19 Lower Legs (roll left or right) (sigh) 1d2. 1 = left, 2 = right.

    >47 even damage.

    ... Damage.

    There's no proper damage for improvised weapons.

    The "Par" damage is suggested to be 1d6. So, If I take this, i'll take id6 damage.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:33 No.17088905

    Seconding this. You will fight in the shade.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:37 No.17088925
    It's the only reasonable thing to do when confronted by a dwarf firing a crossbow from a quarter mile away.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:38 No.17088931
    rolled 8 = 8

    Okay, Deal. But first. My One defense roll against this:
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:39 No.17088942
    rolled 1, 6, 2 = 9

    >01 - 15%: steps into attack (damage is x3; armor takes 2d20 off durability)


    FFUCK. Damage dice: 3d6
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:40 No.17088956
    rolled 13, 9 = 22

    Okay, i lost 9, I'm down to 2 Life Points, after being hit in the shin by a shield thrown from over 1,100 feet away. My Boots will now take 2d20 damage
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:43 No.17088970
    rolled 51, 47, 11, 2, 49, 66, 8, 2, 16, 40, 96, 70, 18, 91, 21, 15, 29, 4, 17, 55 = 708

    And steel shin guards only have a durability of 20. My Left Shin Guard is destroyed, reducing my Armor by 5%.

    And now, 20 of the remaining 39 Fighters will throw their short swords. They all need a 62% or lower.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:44 No.17088984
    rolled 90, 27, 37, 55, 92, 3, 31, 15, 97, 26, 100, 81, 90, 75, 4, 80 = 903

    16 of those 20 guards hit. From a quarter mile away, with thrown swords.

    ..i don't have the heart to roll placement and penetrating...

    (Oh who am I kidding, of course i do! 16d100 for placement!)
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:45 No.17088987
    So there's actually worse games around than FATAL ?

    Duly noted.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:46 No.17089001
    Loving the fact that a shield thrown from ~1200feet away dealt over 80% of your health in damage.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:46 No.17089002

    16 hits op. I think... I think now is the time for an emotiquon.

    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:47 No.17089003
    Would like to see another random encounter that doesn't involve 40 starving ethiopian champions with unlimited health raping us to death with swords from 400 yards.

    Guess I am playing the wrong game though.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:48 No.17089014
    >I'm down to 2 Life Points, after being hit in the shin by a shield thrown from over 1,100 feet away.

    so, this is the best game
    that is what I am seeing here
    all in favor
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:49 No.17089024
    rolled 87, 52, 1, 32, 76, 6, 28, 30, 25, 1, 27, 54, 61, 99, 27, 61 = 667

    "they call this maneuver... steel rain."
    >Lower Legs
    3, 15, 4

    >Upper Legs
    27, 31, 26, 37

    >Chest & Upper Arms
    55, 75

    >Lower Abdomen & Forearms
    90, 92, 81, 90, 80

    >Head Shot



    Well, that pretty much says it all.

    So, Spider, Dwarf of steel was decapitated. Time to roll penetration.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:50 No.17089027
    I don't want to download the pdf and check, but I refuse to believe that there's no rule for how distance affects projectiles.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:52 No.17089044
    Oh god, I'm laughing so hard right now.
    >> Power Gauntlet 12/02/11(Fri)22:52 No.17089047
    I bet that he intended for a round to take the same time as in D&D. Assuming that "ss" is never defined in the book, this would mean it could easily stand for "six-second".

    It would also mean that a year is an hour and a half.
    >> ­ 12/02/11(Fri)22:53 No.17089052
    Can any of you guys get onto his site? It just gets stuck in a java loading bar for me.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:54 No.17089058
         File1322884461.jpg-(32 KB, 500x384, 1299703612268.jpg)
    32 KB
    Oh god my sides and throat.

    I can barely see my monitor because I am literally crying tears of laughter here.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:56 No.17089071
    I can.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:57 No.17089077
    Yes, and it's awful. It looks like something designed in 1994 by a 12-year-old.

    >Ripple effects, ripple effects everywhere
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:58 No.17089084
    How can you get past it? I must see the shit.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)22:59 No.17089095
    rolled 6, 5, 4, 1, 5, 1, 2, 2, 4, 2, 6, 3, 5, 4, 5, 3, 4, 6, 5, 1, 4, 5, 4 = 87

    Actually there are.

    If you play an assassin, you gain a BONUS to hit when using ranged weapons.

    ... and that concludes the rules for distance affecting projectile weapons.

    And now: The penetration.

    >1/4 damage:
    1, 6, 1

    >even damage
    52, 32, 28, 30, 25, 27, 27, 54, 61, 61

    >x3 damage

    >x4 damage

    >x6 damage

    .... Fuck.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:00 No.17089103
    So how many microFATALs are we rating this at?

    I'd guess at least 50k.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:00 No.17089107
    rolled 19, 41, 71, 7, 52, 42, 16, 50, 75, 19, 50, 100, 47, 72, 13, 25 = 699

    Wait! hold that damage roll! I forgot, I get 16 *defensive* rolls here!
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:01 No.17089108


    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:03 No.17089126
         File1322885008.png-(203 KB, 409x606, 1322850436608.png)
    203 KB
    Well, if we're using a scale where FATAL = 100,000 microFATALs, this is probably up at 85k or so.

    The fluff itself is nowhere near the level of FATAL, though it does come close in a couple parts(Elf rape suicide thing), but it's so awful in every other respect that the title of the book might as well be "Abandon hope all ye who enter here"
    >> Power Gauntlet 12/02/11(Fri)23:03 No.17089127
    By the way, the infinite range thing happened in 3.5. There was a cleric domain in Fiendish Codex II (Entropy, I think) that gave you a spell-like ray with no printed range or range increment.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:05 No.17089141
    I can't get past:
    >64% left handed, 23% right handed
    So you're 87% "handed"... and 13% /un/handed?

    I don't even understand what that could have possibly been intended to mean.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:05 No.17089142
    rolled 46, 90, 75, 7, 36, 31, 26, 89, 61, 92, 13, 88, 100, 43, 77, 27 = 901

    Aaand. I'm at the point where I say Screw it. Tomorrow, fair anons, I will return, with Spider, Dwarf of Steel, and have him engage in a random encounter that does NOT involve being pincushoned by flying swords.

    Maybe I'll fight a crab, or a small vole or something.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:07 No.17089151
    Standard SI prefix dictates that one FATAL equal one million microFATALs.

    I've not yet seen the fluff of this game, as this is the first thread for it I've seen. I was only rating it based on mechanics. Care to give me the highlight reel?
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:09 No.17089170
    This is the best thread I have seen in months anywhere.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:09 No.17089173
    Well, a year is somewhere between a 16 2/3 minutes to 100 minutes depending on if you assume 1 to 6 seconds in a combat round. Alternatively if you assume a year is our year, a combat round is like.... 17 minutes.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:10 No.17089176


    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:10 No.17089181
    Oh god, I downloaded it. Why did I download it!?
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:16 No.17089215
    So wait, what? Someone explain this to me, the fuck is with this setting?
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:21 No.17089251
    Don't forget that 1/3 of th population die every year because of planeshifting interdimensional dragon fucking.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:23 No.17089271
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    Where do you want us to start? The fact that 30% of the population is flung to a completely different world by interdimensional dragons fucking every year (Which is about 100 minutes in this setting), the fact that the gods kill anybody who harms lizards, the fact that crabs are practically invincible, or the many, many DMPCs/Mary Sues/Self Inserts which preside over the world, such as the original creator in mortal form, who refuses to kill anybody but is totally happy scattering your atoms to the cosmos and then rebuilding you, which has a 99% fatality rate (He still considers this nonlethal).

    Alternatively, we can explain why there are 550 pages of tables which lead to other tables which lead to nothing, you have to roll on which hand you use most often, and the fact that there are zero ranged combat rules, so you can attack somebody 20 miles away with a short sword by throwing it, and you will not lose any combat effectiveness.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:24 No.17089278
    I laughed so hard, my right testicle has started hurting.
    Thanks a lot op.
    Next time put a disclaimer on your thread, or something.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:24 No.17089279

    every "rebirth". we have no idea how well that corresponds to an earth year. although I did figure out that a "rebirth" is 360 "cycles". (4 elemental seasons of 80 cycles each, and the CHAOS SEASON which for some reason is consistent in length at 40 cycles)

    with a cycle being 20 segments, and a segment being 10 semi-segments (ss)... I think a ss is also a turn. so this planet has a really short year or really long turns. (i.e. it takes 20 minutes for a dragon to attack again. or for the deity you offended by killing a lizard to show up and force a quest upon you.)
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:24 No.17089281
    Oh right, which might only last as short as 3 1/3 minutes, and occur every 16 2/3 minutes. Again, that's with the 1 second per combat cycle assumption. Assuming 6 secs per combat round means it lasts 20 min, and happens ever 100 min.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:26 No.17089287
    >Alternatively, we can explain why there are 550 pages of tables which lead to other tables which lead to nothing, you have to roll on which hand you use most often, and the fact that there are zero ranged combat rules, so you can attack somebody 20 miles away with a short sword by throwing it, and you will not lose any combat effectiveness.
    Bitch please, I've read the FATAL rules. Hilarious none the less, though. Especially the ranged combat thing. GATE OF BABYLON initiate?

    >Where do you want us to start? The fact that 30% of the population is flung to a completely different world by interdimensional dragons fucking every year (Which is about 100 minutes in this setting), the fact that the gods kill anybody who harms lizards, the fact that crabs are practically invincible, or the many, many DMPCs/Mary Sues/Self Inserts which preside over the world, such as the original creator in mortal form, who refuses to kill anybody but is totally happy scattering your atoms to the cosmos and then rebuilding you, which has a 99% fatality rate (He still considers this nonlethal).
    Now that's just amazing. Like, I don't even know where to begin. This makes Synibarr look coherent and shit.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:26 No.17089290
    Don't forget to roll for anal circumference!
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:26 No.17089295
    Oh, and also the fact you can be as low as 2% handed if you get a shit roll. Don't ask me what that means.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:27 No.17089297

    all of the DMPCs have secrets unknown to their friends and family which amount to "why they can never be killed".

    every last one.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:29 No.17089314
    >Shame (causes everyone in 1 room to pay 1000 G.C. each)
    >Cost 4500 G.C.

    Wait, is this the ladder/2 10 ft pole thing all over again?
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:31 No.17089328
    Oh yeah, the one with a super seekrit shadow dragon turned zombie dragon which he bound his soul to and now he is unkillable.

    Or the lich-but-not-really who hid his phylactery, and the rules specifically state that nobody can find it, ever.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:32 No.17089338
    IT IS

    Fucking wow.

    Also reading the archive thread... gnomes are basically magical kenders? Really? Fucking REALLY?
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:32 No.17089341
    >2 pages of potions, effects, and prices
    >*note: None of these work. They are all frauds.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:33 No.17089344

    here's the first thread: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/17056372/

    some highlights are found in there.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:34 No.17089351
    Yup! Want me to paste the chart for you? It's also a complex bullshit one you gotta roll every-time you're around someone, also, modify by class.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:34 No.17089352
    Oh man, between the archived thread linked up there and this one, I am laughing my ass off. OP, I salute you for undertaking the noble sacrifice of bringing us this gem of entertainment.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:36 No.17089366
    I like how no matter where you are, there is a 1% chance that a random encounter will be with a dragon.

    You cannot kill the dragon. If you try, it will kill you and so will the gods. And you will lose xp. I mean EPs. So, if a dragon shows up, I hope you have a shitty record collection.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:37 No.17089381
    >10 rings (1 for each finger & thumb)
    >10 amulets and/or broaches
    >3 medallions
    >Can all be worn at once
    Yo dawg, check out my bling yo!
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:38 No.17089390
    OP I must say that I thoroughly enjoy this thread and topic and wish to thank you from the deepest part of my heart for enduring this.

    Also my neighbors are pissed off because I'm laughing to hard.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:39 No.17089396
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    Oh god his fucking website

    This swimming text

    What the FUCK
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:39 No.17089402
    >Every 100 minutes 1/3 of all the people teleport to other universes randomly because dragons are fucking.

    Where does the author live? I want to send him a couple dozen of those dragon dildos that you guys have been talking about.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:40 No.17089405

    That is the greatest thing ever.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:40 No.17089406
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:42 No.17089425
    It was just a blank screen

    And then I reloaded

    And then oh god why are there bubbles

    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:42 No.17089429

    you can only get in during Chaos Season. so try again in about 100 minutes
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:43 No.17089438
    The Author, John Holland, spent 18 years making this game. He did it all by himself.

    It looks like it. That is not a compliment.

    Some endeavors are very well suited to individualisim. But Writing needs editors. Writing games needs playtesters. And I like to think of myself, right now, as one of those playtesters.

    Time is a mess, the rules are all over the place, and my character creation required 87 separate die rolls. There are only four races (one of which are Kender in disguise) and most of all, it has Mary-Sues weeping out the elbows.

    The prices *feel* wrong, and the system is clunky to the extreme.

    That said: only $3.99 for the .pdf? Well now I feel really bad about downloading it off mediafire. I got three full days of frustration out of this thing. that's more than I got out of my last video game purchase.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:44 No.17089443
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    I just got in and... magic marker errywhere.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:46 No.17089452
    Oh god that's terrible I didn't even see that

    I just saw his about me page and ran:

    Good god why. This is as if Synibarr and Eliminster had a rape baby.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:47 No.17089454

    guaranteed eye cancer
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:47 No.17089456

    Best bit right here. Apparently random pictures of trees and clay garden gnomes add to your visualization of the setting, somehow.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:48 No.17089463
    >Random Encounters
    >City (day): 80%
    >City (night): 60%
    Does this... this... I dunno what to even call him, even know how cities work?
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:49 No.17089470

    the comments page has me losing my shit hard.

    http://www.realmsofatlantasia.com/comments because the links only work for 30 rels every SS.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:49 No.17089476
    haha oh god what the fuck

    this is just amazing
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:50 No.17089483
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    OH GOD

    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:51 No.17089488
    I don't think this man knows much of anything.
    >> SomeAsshole 12/02/11(Fri)23:52 No.17089494
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    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:52 No.17089497

    he sure knows he doesn't want you killing any Leyline Lizards or Crabs (normal).
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:53 No.17089505

    He somehow managed self sustaining for 18 years. Or managed to convince his parents to not kill him for the good of the world
    >> SomeAsshole 12/02/11(Fri)23:54 No.17089513
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    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:54 No.17089514

    and squirells. And that paxx whatever npc
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:55 No.17089521
    >32. y u no let me kill anything?
    >by gully

    >Why can't I kill a creature without gaining negative experience or having a god ride my ass?
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:55 No.17089523
    How the fuck are you even supposed to kill one of these crabs
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:56 No.17089533
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    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)23:57 No.17089541

    You can't. On the 1% chance you do, a dragon-god appears and rapes you to death while you lose xp.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)00:01 No.17089578
    Good god, these NPC writeups aren't just about characters seemingly pulled from some 13 year old's OC Gary Stu files, but they're written like it too.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)00:01 No.17089579
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    >> SomeAsshole 12/03/11(Sat)00:04 No.17089603
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    1.16 MB
    Yes, in Atlantasia you too can face such challenges as:
    >inventory management
    >finding maps
    >recruiting party members
    >deciding whether or not to sell some shiny rocks you found

    And much more!
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)00:04 No.17089608

    speaking of which, it seems like the only way to kill anything without losing XP and/or pissing off a deity is to rape an elf, who will commit suicide in shame.

    >DRAGONFIN stshgl
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 12/03/11(Sat)00:05 No.17089613
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    Oh god... eyes... hurting... Horrible hot blue background.
    Horrible, hot neon, marker map...
    Just ow... it's an assault on my eyes.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)00:06 No.17089627
    You can kill other people I guess?

    Then you only have to worry about being beaten down with flying swords from 20 miles out.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)00:09 No.17089645

    or caracter creation. or reading that fucking book. or just not loosing sanity
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)00:10 No.17089652

    but that way only the elf gains XP
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)00:10 No.17089659
    Okay guys, I think I found a potential leveling strategy. You kill unicorns! The gods will only kill your loved ones instead of you so just make sure you're self-loathing!
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)00:12 No.17089675

    Oh gods, what's really horrible?

    187,838 "likes" on his site.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)00:13 No.17089679
    or be masochistic. you only love the pain
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)00:15 No.17089704
    >does he know how cities work?

    Well, he's from Alberta, Canida so... no.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)00:16 No.17089713
    3 of those are the authors, so it's more like 187835 'Likes'
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)00:20 No.17089747
    I'm guessing about 187837 of them are the author's.

    The remaining one clicked it by accident.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)00:27 No.17089804
    Oh man, did you see the obvious as hell socks of them in the early comments?
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)00:28 No.17089811
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    This has to be a parody. The phone number he listed belongs to no-one under that name, he claims he's been into RPGs for 20 years and yet apparently hasn't seen anything other than DnD (which is something he manages to get wrong as well), etcetera. That bit about the Crab (normal) has to be intentional. And the Par-Traxx thing, that elf-self-insert of his... doesn't that just read exactly like pic related? It's a grandiose, fully overblown true Mary Sue (in the later sense of the word) that could only be come up with by a 12 year old or someone who is doing this with full and total awareness.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)00:31 No.17089820

    >by a 12 year old

    Remember, he claims to have been working on this thing for 18 years, so he would have gone through his "super special can never die ever character" phase at SOME point in the development of this shlock.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)00:32 No.17089829
    The likes are for the website provider, not the site itself.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)00:33 No.17089832

    then someone write an email to the news site which made an interview with him.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)00:33 No.17089833
    Oh. Well that's more sane I guess.

    So has anyone found a better way to break this than Lizard Armor yet?
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)00:35 No.17089845
    ITΣ-A ME!
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)00:35 No.17089848

    The thing is: it's too incomplete to be a true parody.

    True parodies, especially ones on this scale, 500+ pages, they go into DEEP detail. If anything, this guy is guilty of poor design by compounded omission.

    Clearly, it works for him, and his friends, because they know what all this stuff is supposed to mean. But he's not the person reading it. We are.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)00:35 No.17089851

    then main problem is for breaking a game you have to know the rules and understand them, better than the creator.
    In this game even reading the rules is a difficult task...
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)00:37 No.17089857

    This however, is their facebook group.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)00:38 No.17089868
    >19 members

    seems accurate. However I think suddenly 10-20 people will sign up because of this thread and for the lulz
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)00:40 No.17089881
    however this John Holland's profile is too new and empty to be convincing. the profile is obviously a fake one but I don't know that he wanted to make a separate one so people won't know who he is or someone is trolling us big time
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)00:52 No.17089962
    You know, once upon a time, people thought FATAL was a troll.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)01:12 No.17090082
    Spells: ice chards: 1-6 chards: 1d8 + 2/chard (lv. 01 - 20)
    1-8 chards: 1d10 + 2/chard (lv. 21 - 50)
    1-10 chards: 1d12 + 2/chard (lv. 51 - 90)
    1-12 chards: 1d20 + 2/chard (lv. 91 - 100)

    What the fuck is a chard?
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)01:14 No.17090099
    Okay, I can't find a crab (normal). Rock Crab, Trigger Crab, but no "normal" crab.

    I feel like I'm missing out.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)01:22 No.17090152
    Maybe that's the "I'm too retarded to hire an editor" way to spell shard?
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)01:24 No.17090163

    beware the Dire Crab (roll for Crab Lore to find out about them)
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)01:28 No.17090196
    But on all of them? I feel like this is some sorta autistic moonspeak for something specific.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)01:32 No.17090219
    Duh! It's a vegetable! The wizard casts frozen vegetables at people!
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)01:34 No.17090232

    >Realms of Atlantasia is not like those other shitty RPGs like D&D.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)01:39 No.17090262
    Par-traxx 0 E.P.s
    Par-traxx is an enigma on Atlantasia. Here is what is known about him:
     he is a Moon Elf who became the first Dragon Mage (combined with the Demi-god Chaos
     he has been known to show up in many different looks and personas
    he lives in the Crystal Tower which is located in the Nor-Scand Mountains
     he is the idol of almost every Elven Mage
     he is 5' 1" tall and weighs 79 lbs.
     he is always seen with his familiar Terronis (a large black bird with red splotches in its wings)
     he is always seen with a black/gold staff that is 6' high
    That is what is known around Atlantasia by any who are able to read or have been to a bard's
    performance. Here are the things no one knows about Par-traxx:
     his familiar is actually a 75' phoenix
     the staff he has with him is actually the relic The Staff of the Cosmos (which he keeps with
    him so no one can wield its tremendous powers <he knows what would happen if this staff
    were to end up in the wrong hands>)
     he was the one to teach the War Magi how to create their shield which absorbs energy and
    uses that energy to strengthen itself
     he knows and can use ALL forms of magic
     the biggest thing not known about Par-traxx (none of the Deities even know this) is that he
    is actually the avatar of the original creator of all the known universes and dimensions
    Because of this last point, Par-traxx cannot be touched physically, mentally or magically. If
    confronted, Par-traxx will use the following tactics in order:
     he will first try to talk the antagonist out of the confrontation using a logical approach
     if that does not work, Par-traxx will unleash his familiar in its true form (he will cast a fireball
    in Terronis' direction)
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)01:40 No.17090270
     if they continue to press, he will alter his own form into that of his ancient Chaos Dragon
     if this fails (and the antagonist is angering Par-traxx), he will scatter their atoms across every
    known plane of existence and dimension, allow those atoms to retain all the knowledge of
    the plane of existence/dimension they were in. Then he pulls the atoms back together using
    the line "knowledge is power and all you seek is power so that is what I have given you;
    ultimate power". While Par-traxx cannot destroy anything or anybody (after all, he is THE
    creator), this has been known to kill any this happens to (there is 1 person who survived and
    now wanders Atlantasia babbling to himself as he attempts to organize all the information
    his mind holds now <you have a 1% chance of surviving this attack>)
    Par-traxx can be used to insert quests into a group (he is famous for this). He will either show up in
    your camp out of the blue (10% of the time) or be situated somewhere in any form you wish (he has
    probably used the form before so be creative; he is!) where the group will pass by him.

    Totally not a sue guys
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)02:07 No.17090413
    The pdf is 550 pages, no artwork.

    If it's a troll, the only one being trolled is himself, because it seems to me that quite some (misguided, mind) effort was put into this.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)02:37 No.17090569

    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)02:51 No.17090624
    Hey, guess what. Gypsies are both an ethnicity and series of classes. They all have pick pocket as a class scale. And here I thought it didn't have FATAL's blatant racism.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)04:11 No.17090993
    Welp, guess we better add a few more mircoFATALs to the heap for good old racism.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)09:17 No.17092336

    so you can play gnome gypsies?
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)09:22 No.17092354
    >Look at website again
    >Comment by Crabman Lizardcloak
    Mah nigga.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)09:53 No.17092532
    >30% of all Diplomatic conversations start a battle or a war.
    That's hilarious.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)10:13 No.17092649
    Yes, yes you can.
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)12:34 No.17093439

    what about nigger gypsies?
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)12:45 No.17093528
    Still can't find a normal crab - just "rock" or "trigger".
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)14:15 No.17094232
    Just notices the names of some of the actual "realms" of atlantasia. They sound like He-man foes.

    Harr-Lett, the seductress.
    Shambule, the mound.
    Tez-Lah, the electric!
    And, of course, the Rhodical ryders!
    >> Anonymous 12/03/11(Sat)14:56 No.17094534
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