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  • File : 1322793696.jpg-(43 KB, 640x468, 1315537620763.jpg)
    43 KB Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:41 No.17078465  
    ITT: Extremely minor magical items.

    I am running a game where there is one central magic shoppe in the town where my players find themselves. I would like to include a "bargain bin" which includes magical items of dubious usefulness.

    Example: Amulet of moderate business success
    +1 to Appraise, and Profession: Shopkeeper

    pic unrelated
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:43 No.17078491
    Pic related
    Grandfather Clock of Flotation. This clock will always rise to the surface and float with up to 1000 kbs holding onto it. It is however, still heavy and awkward to carry.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:43 No.17078501
    Potion of Nystul's Magic Aura
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:44 No.17078507
    A ring of +1 fashion
    It's only effect is to make people slightly more aware that you are wearing a ring.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:44 No.17078512
    What about a magical item that does nothing except being a magical item?
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:44 No.17078517
    If it gives a tangible player benefit, it is not minor.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:45 No.17078529
    Wand of Cantrips
    1 charge remaining
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:46 No.17078543
    Belt buckle (cloak clasp) of inspiration
    +1 to diplomacy, but only while you're standing like op's pic
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:47 No.17078551
    The Enchanted Barfighting Beer Bottle

    It functions as an enchanted weapon that can pierce armor and do bonus damage! But it's still a beer bottle. Meaning it has a 50% chance of breaking each time you hit an enemy with it.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:47 No.17078558
         File1322794066.jpg-(44 KB, 800x436, kobold.jpg)
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    Rod of koboldly might
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:48 No.17078562
    It's not that minor. One may kill something with it's last charge.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:49 No.17078574
    Flagon of Merriment

    Any drink poured into it becomes slightly alcoholic. Any alcoholic drink poured into it becomes slightly more alcoholic.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:49 No.17078577
    Uncharged staff of a spell not known to any living mage
    >> Akhenaten the Frustrated 12/01/11(Thu)21:50 No.17078593
    Vial of Wind-dried Water Elementals.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:50 No.17078598
    OP here

    thanks, these are outstanding!
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:50 No.17078600
    The holy grail of Dwarven society, imagine the crusades they'd throw just to get that thing.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:52 No.17078616

    That would be awesome. You could just pour a drink into it, then keep tossing the drink into the air and catching it back in the mug over and over.

    I want one.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:52 No.17078621
    What if I put in distilled ethanol?
    >> sage 12/01/11(Thu)21:53 No.17078633
    Cantrips don't kill.

    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:53 No.17078635
    Belt of Inopportunity.

    The more you need to impress somebody, the more likely the belt is to unfasten itself.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:54 No.17078637
    we could have 400 proof ale
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:54 No.17078638
    He never said the alcohol content increased, it just becomes more alcoholic, you get ethanediol
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:54 No.17078643

    The mug would become slightly fuller
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:54 No.17078644
    There is some booze not meant for the minds of mortal men.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:55 No.17078654
         File1322794541.jpg-(11 KB, 194x259, images (1).jpg)
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    Triple distilled magical whiskey.

    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:55 No.17078659

    You'd probably end up with something that tasted terrible.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:55 No.17078660
    The Morning Wood
    Anyone holding this staff becomes a bit more... rigid.

    It was obviously created by a wizard who was getting on in years. After he passed, no one else seemed to want it.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:57 No.17078676
    lyre of shoddy construction
    once/week, can be used to create substandard or unsafe buildings, tunnels, etc
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:57 No.17078685
    Don't be so lazy with your enchantments. Minor enchants aren't meant for attributes. Instead, they add flavor to the setting and allow creative players to find ways to use them.

    A pocket protector that is resistant to ink is a minor enchant.
    A calculator that always remembers to carry the 1 is minor.
    A ruler that shouts out when you call its name is minor.
    > Weighted dice,
    > a stacked deck,
    > boots that never get wet
    > condoms that never break
    > A dowel rod that points towards unfaithful wives
    > a pebble that goes wherever you point
    They are all MINOR enchantments.
    Live it up. No matter how innane a problem is, someone has developed an enchantment for it. That's why they're the ARCANE arts!
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:57 No.17078686
    Hat of Loudness

    Makes your voice louder, similar to a megaphone
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:57 No.17078688
    The Miffed Mirror.

    Acts like a normal magic mirror, but is bitterly sarcastic about it.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:58 No.17078693
    During the Dwarf Festival of Grulthfast (roughly translated as Merry Night) every Dwarf is given a large Mug of Merriment. They sit in a huge circle around a round table and take a hearty swig of their drink before pouring all of their drink into the Mug of the dwarf sitting to his right. The dwarf elder gets two mugs, one of which starts off empty, so that there's somewhere for the first drink to be poured.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:58 No.17078695
    Not Particularly Intelligent Sword
    (+1 Talking Shortsword; Int 4, Wis 4, Cha 4, Knowledge of its limitations 0, Ego 18)
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)21:59 No.17078705
         File1322794787.jpg-(63 KB, 350x392, 1277430309533.jpg)
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    > Penis enhancement tools are unpopular with men
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:00 No.17078713
    +3 Longsword, broken asunder

    theoretically, it's repairable...
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:00 No.17078720
    Gloves of Slightly Less Likely to Fumble It

    When attempting to catch something with these gloves on you are slightly less likely to fumble it.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:01 No.17078732
    eversharp scissors
    (never dull, immune to rust monster attack)
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:02 No.17078743

    Best magic item ever created if you're a Blood Bowl player
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:03 No.17078745
    The reason is that it was created wrong. Instead of just making you hard, it makes your entire body rigid.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:03 No.17078746
    It's a big wooden staff. It's not exactly as subtle as popping a pill.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:03 No.17078748
    handkerchief of flying

    like a carpet of flying, but only 6 inches square
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:04 No.17078757
    Ray of Frost.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:04 No.17078761
    I am going to make myself a suit of spiked chainmail out of a few thousand those.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:05 No.17078770
    Jessie's Girdle
    Makes your friends covet your possessions.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:05 No.17078771
    How about a "try your luck" kinda' bin?
    Some old potions without labels - could be useful, could be old juice.

    No refunds!
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:05 No.17078773
    Earring of Rhythm
    The wearer gets a steady drum beat in his or head head that's always in time. The beat can be adjusted with a little concentration. Give small bonuses to dancing or possibly public speaking

    Which of these are you actually going to use OP?
    >> Akhenaten the Frustrated 12/01/11(Thu)22:06 No.17078785
         File1322795212.png-(1.74 MB, 1920x1080, 1311875186602.png)
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    Where can I find a girdle like that?
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:08 No.17078795
    I like!
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:09 No.17078802
         File1322795355.png-(431 KB, 503x678, 1280127461631.png)
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    >Earring of Rhythm
    >> OP 12/01/11(Thu)22:09 No.17078809
    frantically copypasting into an excel file...

    but the ones that are going in the bin so far are these:
    Potion of Nystul's Magic Aura
    Barfighting Beer Bottle
    Rod of koboldly might
    boots that never get wet
    Hat of Loudness
    >> OP 12/01/11(Thu)22:13 No.17078848
         File1322795609.jpg-(9 KB, 259x194, images (2).jpg)
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    I;m not looking to break the game, I want to toss in sort of a Magical Thrifte Shoppe. Diluted or unlabeled potions, magical items of dubious quality, things that ended up being donated because the original owner moved away and nobody knew what to use it for.

    that kind of thing.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:17 No.17078889
    Dim Torch of Everburning

    It's a torch that never goes out. It's just a shame you can barely see anything with it.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:17 No.17078890
    Finger Snaps
    You know those chinese finger traps? Yeah, it's kinda like that, only you have to say a code phrase to remove it. Created as a practical joke, but no one was laughing when the wizard forgot the code phrase. There are some blood stains around the edges.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:18 No.17078903
    Bonsai Tree Token

    Creates a tiny tree, 1 foot high with a 1-inch diameter trunk. May burst or damage fragile containers.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:19 No.17078918
    Ring of Extra Fingers

    Wearing one of these rings provides an extra five fingers on the hand in question
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:20 No.17078924
    Hewards Handy Wallet

    Holds as much as an ordinary wallet, but feels much slimmer in your pocket. Does not change the weight of the items it holds.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:21 No.17078933
    The Tall Man's Shoes
    Makes the wearer seem a bit taller than he otherwise would.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:21 No.17078939
    A 'bag of gumming'- a bag of chewing that had the misfortune of being placed upon a +2 helmet.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:22 No.17078942
    Dagger of Throwing and Occasionally Returning

    This dagger is bent into an L-shape. If you throw it carefully, it might come back.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:22 No.17078951

    You mean it functions exactly like an ordinary wallet? If 'it' (the Wallet) doesn't change the weight of the items it holds, the it woul djust get heavier as more gold is added to it.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:22 No.17078952
    Ring of Color Change

    3 charges/day

    1 use: if the ring is currently red, changes it to blue.
    if the ring is currently blue, changes it to yellow.
    if the ring is currently yellow, changes it to red.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:23 No.17078955
    Ring of limited invisibility
    This ring will make whatever finger it's placed on invisible.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:23 No.17078956
    found in a secondhand shop.

    ba-dum tiss
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:23 No.17078957
    Sweater of Comforting

    This knit wool sweater ensures the wearer always feels comfortably warm. This is an illusory effect and does not protect the wearer from the elements at all.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:25 No.17078974
    Leomund's Magnificent Dollhouse

    On command, this miniscule house becomes a well-appointed tiny house, able to comfortably hold creates of up to 4 inches in height. Note: replica food and tea are not safe for consumption.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:26 No.17078982
    A lantern that itself never grows hot, however bright the flame inside of it
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:26 No.17078983
    Knife of Buttering
    When used to apply cold butter to bread, the butter will spread smoothly without fucking tearing up the bread.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:26 No.17078991
    Parchment of Repel Ink
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:26 No.17078993
         File1322796407.jpg-(59 KB, 1000x1000, lantern golems.jpg)
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    Lantern golems
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:27 No.17078999
    The Mood Ring
    This ring will tell you what mood you're in. For some reason, it's most often heard saying "annoyed".
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:27 No.17079000

    Yes, but it feels slimmer so its less annoying to sit on. Also, your pocket bulges less, improving clothing lines.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:27 No.17079003
         File1322796459.jpg-(62 KB, 750x484, lantern golems 2.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:28 No.17079011
    Ring of Time Travel.

    Causes you to travel forwards through time at a speed of 1 second per second.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:28 No.17079021
    A comic book that can scry on anyone and depict it in comic book form, but the scenes are always erotic in nature, no matter what the target is doing.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:29 No.17079024
    Flagon of Freshening
    Any liquid drank from this mug will taste like ordinary water at whatever temperature the liquid is currently at. However, it does not change the properties of the liquid inside it (slime will still have a slimy texture, alcohol still gets you drunk, poison still affects you normally, etc.)
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:29 No.17079029
    I really want this...
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:31 No.17079056
    Ring of Depilation

    While worn, prevents hair growth.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:31 No.17079059
    Goggles of Nostaliga.

    The wearer fondly remembers whatever he's looking at, whether he's seen it before or not.

    Similarly, Goggles of Déjà vu.

    The wearer gets the feeling that what he's witnessing has happened before.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:31 No.17079061
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:32 No.17079069
    Popular among prostitutes.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:33 No.17079088
    The Watermelon De-seedifyer

    Every fruit lover needs one!
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:34 No.17079095
    The Dust Bunny
    This is a small ball of indeterminate fluff and fuzz that will follow the last person who touched it around at a rate of 1 foot a round. If the person goes more than ten feet away from it, it becomes inert until being touched again. It weighs almost nothing; a light wind can blow it away,
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:34 No.17079097
    closely related: razor of safety
    +5 straight razor, only cuts hair.
    >> sage 12/01/11(Thu)22:34 No.17079101
    The Ring of Arcane Extension.
    This ring allows you to wear TWO magical rings on the hand you wear it on. This ring counts as one magical ring.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:36 No.17079120
    Ring of Fing-Longer

    This ring extends the reach of the finger it is placed on.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:37 No.17079125
    The Ear Wig
    This is a small earring. When worn, the wearer's hair becomes semi-rigid and slightly springy, only moving when the wearer touches it either with hands or hair styling utensils. When others touch it, it gives slightly, but otherwise keeps its shape.

    I find these work best when they make a verbal pun.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:38 No.17079138
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:39 No.17079142
    I'd love to have that. No more bothering with shaving, or haircuts. Every once in a while you might have to take it off to prevent bald spots, or to regrow singed off eyebrows, but hey...

    Simon's Scroll
    Narrate to this scroll, and the words will magically appear upon it as if scribed by a master calligrapher.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:39 No.17079143
    Necklace of Tragic Villainy

    Turns any monsters you encounter into tragic characters. Gives you a detailed knowledge of the unfortunate and inevitable sequence of events that led them to their ultimate downfall into their depths of evil.

    Does not stop monsters from killing you.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:41 No.17079171
    Doesn't matter how it tastes if it gets you wasted off your ass. How do you think the vodka industry survives?
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:41 No.17079172
    Cloak of Simon Says

    The wearer must obey any order he gives to himself to the best of his abilities.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:44 No.17079206
    Put it in
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:44 No.17079216
    Goggles of Laser-Pointer Vision

    Allows the wearer to emit a beam of light with the strength of a weak laser-pointer. Useful for giving presentations.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:45 No.17079225
    "Don't freak out, don't freak out, don't freak out... hey, I'm not freaking out!"
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:45 No.17079234
    I want to start a campaign where the players are equipped only with the items in this thread.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:47 No.17079250
    Bag of holding

    battered and smelly sack with strange unidentifiable stains and odd burn marks on it, perhaps a faded and illegible name in flaking paint, with the following label tied to it:

    >"sold as is, no refunds, no returns"

    let your imagination run wild with that...
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:49 No.17079272
    Everhot Kettle

    heats any liquid poured into the kettle to just below boiling (thats 99 C, not the boiling point of, say, mercury)
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:49 No.17079281
    Solomon's Key
    This key always unlocks the wrong door.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:50 No.17079288
    Everburning Torch of Exercise
    This is an everburning torch... however, the flame only functions when you flail it wildly about. It must move over 20 miles per hour to produce light, or 15 miles per hour for dim light.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:51 No.17079300
    Put it on a string and swing it.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:51 No.17079302
    wait...so if I put it in a keyhole and turn it, that door stays locked, but another random door somewhere else unlocks itself?
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:52 No.17079306
    Cloak of Sweaty Pits
    Cloak of Sweaty Pits makes whoever is in a 10foot radius of the cloak's armpits sweat wildly
    >Hey, at least its not a Cloak of Random Combustion!
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:52 No.17079310
    That's about the gist of it, yes.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:52 No.17079312
    Razor of Shaving. It's a straight razor that's enchanted to only cut hair, no matter how badly you maul yourself or others with it. Cuts through hair like a vorpal sword, though.

    Drama Clasp. You attach it to a cape, necklace, hat, or other accessory, which will then only come loose when tugged dramatically, staying perfectly in place otherwise. However, it only works on mundane items, other enchantments "override" it.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:53 No.17079318
    Ring of Remembrance of Days Gone By
    Allows the player to call up old memories with perfect clarity. Will not call up memories that are less than five years old.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:53 No.17079320
    Portable hole glitter
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:53 No.17079324
    A frying pan that will convert any organic matter cooked on it into an omelet. Unfortunately this also applies to any fixings players attempt to apply to the omelet, so it's always just a plain fried egg that's also a little too dry.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:54 No.17079334
    Not a bad idea if you aren't in a 5-foot wide hallway, like many DMs create between dungeon rooms.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:54 No.17079336
    "Get a job, move out of the house, turn your life around, get married, apply yourself, don't turn out like your father, do all this in a realistic fashion."

    I would literally kill for one of these.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:55 No.17079343
    >Razor of Shaving....
    This would be extremely useful in the days before safety razors. Especially for old men, Micheal J. Fox and women.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:56 No.17079346
    Yeah but

    >to the best of your abilities

    So that wouldn't work.

    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:57 No.17079351
    God, I love these kinds of threads. I have a text file of entries I've saved from ones like this, let me post some stuff from it:

    Scroll of Purple - When used, tints everything in a 20-ft radius a lovely shade of fuschia. Can be made by attempting to scribe a scroll of Darkness while heavily inebriated.

    Bag of Sifting - Cannot contain any powder or liquid, regardless of other containers. Any powder or liquid put into the bag will fall out the bottom of the bag and leave their original container empty.

    Rod of Rod - Points to the nearest guy named Rod when the command words 'Hey, Rod' are spoken.

    Betty's Crock Pot - Halves cooking times of anything cooked within it.

    Bastard-ball - A hovering silver sphere that gravitates toward individuals whose parents were not married at the time of their conception.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:57 No.17079356
    The Ring of Minimal Power
    Makes the wearer just a tiny bit transparent if worn.
    There is a low-level wizard who created it that is sending two kobolds across the world to find it.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:57 No.17079359
    Also gotta be careful what you order yourself to do.
    What if you jokingly said "If you can beat me at arm wrestling, I'll kill the King with a dead fish!"
    Better hope your arm is strong.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:57 No.17079360
    What is that? Some kinda portable hole accessory? Portable hole manufactured by Hasbro?
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)22:58 No.17079364
    Boots of Careful River Crossing

    Thigh high waterproof boots enchanted to loudly announce the depth and speed and composition of any liquid they come into contact with. ANY liquid at ANY time. Loudly.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:00 No.17079382
    Two small blue ornate marbles hanging from a fine golden chain.

    As soon as one marble is moved, the other chimes softly. The more harshly and suddenly one is moved, the more audible is the others chime, though they could never produce a sound that would be described as "loud".

    This is the first magical item I introduced to my group about two years ago and despite all the hijinksy and powerful magical items they've got since then, this is still their favourite. I just wanted to give them an item to introduce them slowly to magical items instead of giving some stupid boring +1 weapon or armor, but they've found SOOO many different possible uses for it it's absolutely astounding.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:00 No.17079385
    Half-wit Bit - A small, multicolored construct that can float and follows its owner. It can only say "Yes" and will do so in response to any question.

    Picasso Ring - When worn, makes your facial features appear to be oddly placed.

    Criminal Scum - A bucket of pond scum. Town guards seem to be drawn to whoever carries it.

    Amulet of What the Fuck Is That? - Misshapen amulet appears to represent some sort of weird... thing. It's impossible to get a good grasp of its exact dimensions, and its geometry may not be entirely Euclidean. Regardless, people stop and stare at it, asking what the fuck it is. Unfortunately, you don't know.

    A bag that, once per day at a random hour, dispenses 1d100 sweetrolls.

    Shoes of the Loose Lipped Sneak: These shoes give a bonus to thievery and sneaking skills, but every time the player moves, the shoes have a chance to force the wearer to shout incriminating or embarrassing facts at the top of their lungs for ten seconds straight.

    Fate's Fortune: A bag of wooden coins. During dangerous situations, sometimes one of them will disappear. It doesn't do anything, but don't tell anyone.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:00 No.17079391
    No. Glitter that when placed on a surface creates a portable hole the size of the glitter, with depth equal to the width of the glitter.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:01 No.17079394
    Just because I'm too lazy to do that stuff doesn't mean I'm incapable of doing so.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:01 No.17079400
    Wand of Sparkles
    5 charges/day.
    1 charge: Creates a wave of sparkly lights for 1 round. Lights do not provide illumination, though they can be seen from a distance.
    3 charges: Sparkles can land on an object, person, or monster and continue to sparkle for up to 5 minutes.
    5 charges: Covers one being or one area up to 10 ft square in sparkles. Lasts for 1 hour.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:02 No.17079406
    Boots of Dubstep.

    Every time you step, you make a "wub" sound.

    -10 to move silent.

    Activate once per day: Silence all within a 30ft radius.

    Stole that from a friend. I'm not even a fan of dubstep and I think this is awesome.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:03 No.17079408
    Oh yeah? Prove it, you assfactory.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:03 No.17079411
    That is amazingly powerful
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:04 No.17079417
    Eh, I'll get to it later.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:04 No.17079420
    I'm suddenly reminded of those edits of the tits with holes/seeds on them.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:05 No.17079425
    The hammer of nut smashing.

    A normally-sized hammer that can crack the shell of any nut without utterly destroying it. Someone mentions that it was once used to crack the great Walnut of Stubbornness, but that's just a rumor.

    (Don't mention it in the description, but yes, you can use it on the testicles of any target and severely injure them. The size and durability of the target's testicles do not matter, it will still injure them just the same.)
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:05 No.17079426
    Flask of Forceful Merriment

    Any time someone uses this to drink an alcoholic beverage, a random nearby target is inebriated by the alcohol instead of the drinker.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:05 No.17079431
    Belt of Minor Distraction
    Any enemies the holder encounters will be slightly drawn to the Belt, but no where near enough to distract them from kicking your ass. But afterwards they'll totally check out that belt.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:05 No.17079432
    Falling creates a drop
    You can record a short clip of sound and have it play in rhythm with the beat.
    >> That guy whose CHA is 18 12/01/11(Thu)23:06 No.17079436
    oh god, I lost it...

    Well played, tears are rolling down my face
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:07 No.17079448
    Also known as the Belt of Double-Take
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:07 No.17079451
    Very nice.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:08 No.17079462
    Auto-win any drinking contest.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:09 No.17079473
    Mask of False Mirrors

    Wearing this mask makes it look like you are disguised badly as yourself. Any time someone attempts to recognize you, make a disguise check as though you were disguised as yourself at -5.
    >> That guy whose CHA is 18 12/01/11(Thu)23:09 No.17079479
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    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:11 No.17079498
    Amulet of Ominous Monologes
    The location of the wearer's voice is undetectable and once a day can become as loud as megaphone.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:12 No.17079508
    Goggles of Déjà vu.

    The wearer gets the feeling that what he's witnessing has happened before.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:12 No.17079509
    Book of Unscrupulous Narration: This intelligent book records everything that has happened in the past 24 hours around it. The book has a tendency to describe things in easily misunderstood ways. For example, instead of saying the party made camp while the paladin went on a short ride to a city, it will say the party slept together except for the paladin, who was too busy mounting his steed.

    A small wooden box with a slot and a key. Insert a coin into the slot and turning the key opens the box, revealing something depending on the kind of coin inserted:
    copper coin: 10d10x10 angry bees
    silver coin: A flimsy figurine of unknown material. Collect them all!
    gold coin: What seems to be playing cards, with pictures and words in a strange language.
    wooden coin: 50 pounds of confetti and streamers shoot out, a booming voice from the box congratulates you, and a massive Efreeti appears, grudgingly hands you a large wooden trophy, and disappears.

    Bag of Useless Junk. Once per day you can reach into the bag and pull out some random junk. A few bent and rusty nails, a broken bit of chalk, five feet of string already cut into one-inch lengths, a dirty sock with a hole in the toe, a set of stereo instructions in a foreign language, etc. There is also a chance that you will pull out another bag of useless junk. if this happens, the first bag stops working.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:12 No.17079511
    Wand of Directional Confusion

    Any attempts to use a "Know Direction" style spell within 1000 feet will fail without discernible reason.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:12 No.17079512
    Currently owned by a tap dancer.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:14 No.17079535

    I am going to use the bag of useless junk in my campaign now. Thanks.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:14 No.17079538
    Underwear of Cleanness
    Underwear that instantly removes any blemishes/stains on itself, and will contain any "accidents" and remove them once a day.
    WARNING: Not to be used as a substitute for a toilet.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:14 No.17079539
    Everlasting Soap on a Rope - For when you want to stay clean while adventuring! Using this soap, you get a bonus to your personal hygiene and socializing. People would prefer talking to someone who's squeeky clean after all. The great part is that the soap never runs out, it's truly everlasting!

    Ring of Fishing - Simply tie this shiny ring to your hook to improve your chances of snagging a catch while fishing. Warning: Failure to catch hooked fish may result in losing ring as the gods take it away for your unworthy fishing ineptitude.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:15 No.17079541

    Oh my God. I- I laughed so hard and I hardly know why.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:16 No.17079553
    The Magic Wingman

    when activated this ring creates an illusion of a male acquaintance who engages the least attractive female out of any two declared females in conversation.

    it's nemesis is the Tiara of Cock Blocking, which is activated when the wearer reaches a predetermined level of inebriation, creating the illusion of an overweight and overbearing female who can respond to preset conditions the user must declare while sober.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:17 No.17079561
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    >MFW this post
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:18 No.17079565
    A pair of socks that dry quickly and always smell nice. They also glow faintly when spiders are nearby.

    A wallet which, when opened, spawns 1d8 ordinary moths, which will ravenously begin devouring any nearby cloth that isn't being worn. Any money placed in the wallet disappears as soon as the wallet is closed.

    A wooden pole which always balances perfectly when its tip is placed on the ground, remaining upright until pushed over.

    Matching Rings of High-Fiving: When worn by 2 people, those two people can high-five each other with their ring-hands from any angle and position and always get the perfect high five including the sound

    A talking turtle that tells you exactly what you should have done five minutes after you've already done it.

    A small metal box that, when opened, shouts the answer to a question that someone, somewhere in the world just asked.

    A doormat that will spell out a greeting appropriate to whatever the one who steps on it is thinking of at that moment.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:18 No.17079566
    Ring of Language
    Makes wearer a master of grammar and spelling, and will prevent the wearer from making a spelling error.
    Possible Side Effects: Turns wearer into a grammar nazi.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:18 No.17079572
    The Hand of Vecund

    This is the severed hand of a legendary joke of a cleric, Vecund. For some reason, it doesn't rot, looks fleshy and as though it had blood, yet doesn't bleed, nor can anything seem to reduce it to a lesser form. It feels cold to the touch, though, like a fresh corpse.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:19 No.17079576
    Coin from Far Away: it's a triangular coin carved from green jade, with a round hole piercing its middle. Water poured through the hole purifies the water, but this only works if you flip the coin into the water's path.

    Jade Mammoth: carved from green jade as well, this fist-sized mammoth carving is one of the oldest things in the world. A kiss on its head makes it come to life for one day and one night. It's sexually aroused to the point of blindly fornicating wth everything in sight during this time, however.

    Femur Flute: this is a flute, carved from someone's femur. Playing it will anger skeletons and sometimes small children. Why this happens is a mystery. The small children getting angry, I mean.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:21 No.17079594
    Turtle would actually would be pretty useful, except for the fact that it would be extremely annoying and make you feel like an idiot.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:21 No.17079596
    Fragment of Fourth Wall

    The holder of this item suffers from the delusion that he is a character on something called a "television show".
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:22 No.17079607
    Vial of Temporal Freezing

    This small vial allows you to place a small amount of liquid inside, causing it to become solid without being frozen. Taking the liquid out does not end the effect. The "frozen" liquid is subject to normal laws of physics, and will "unfreeze" if the vial is broken. Any attempts to touch the frozen liquid will accomplish nothing: the liquid will feel smooth, like seamless plastic.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:24 No.17079630
    >Flute of Hissy-fit

    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:25 No.17079635
    The Ring of Doubt

    The wearer doubts everything he sees and hears, up to and including his own beliefs and motivations.

    Dimwell's Amulet of Oration

    Once a day, when trying to speak to a group of 15 or more people, the wearer of this amulet sees everyone in their underwear.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:25 No.17079638
    vial of instant jello shots
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:25 No.17079644
    1. Produce vial-shaped solid water
    2. Do this over and over again at a river
    3. Find some sort of use for this solid water
    4. ???
    5. Profit!
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:25 No.17079649
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    I almost thought no one saw it. I was sad.

    And on topic, pic related: an amulet bearing this symbol, inspires slight feelings of dread in whoever sees it. Even the wearer and his party.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:26 No.17079656
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    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:26 No.17079659
    Hat of Quelling

    If wearing this hat when about to become angry, the target must make a DC 26 will save to resist becoming not angry. If the wearer is quelled, he cannot become angry at the cause of the would-be anger, even if the hat is removed. Repeating the act that caused the anger cancels this effect, though if wearing the hat the wearer must make another will save.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:27 No.17079673
    Once a day, wearer can perform another minor action and lose 2 HP.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:28 No.17079687

    Remember, it's frozen in time, which means ingesting the shots would be like eating plastic.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:29 No.17079697
    Codex: Bardic Tropes of Dotorg

    A mildly interesting book that distorts time when read. Upon reading the book the user feels as if only a small amount of time has passed, when in actually it has been at least ten times as long as the reader originally intended. There will exist an inexplicable urge to read "just one more page" even if the user becomes aware of the time discrepancy. Nothing of any real value will ever be learned from this book no matter how long one reads it.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:29 No.17079698
    This here has got to be my favourite Oglaf comic
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:29 No.17079707
    knife of spreading

    a butter knife that cuts and spreads butter at any temperature as if it were warm.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:31 No.17079718
    We have one already

    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:33 No.17079736
    Dagger of Fake Protuberance

    This ordinary looking dagger is entirely incapable of hurting whatever it stabs. Anything that gets in the way of the blade causes the blade that would normally be stabbed instead is bypassed, meaning that if you tried to stab someone in the gut, it would appear on their back. This continually stacks: if someone were to fall on this blade on its back, it would appear on their back until the dagger is pulled back.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:34 No.17079750
    Case of Endless Enchanted Butter Knives

    This case will hold all enchanted butter knives you come across and then some.
    Will not hold anything other than enchanted butter knives.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:34 No.17079755
    Too Late

    Idea though:
    Spoon of Temperature
    Any liquid touched by the spoon will become just the temperature the drinker desires.


    Ysgramor's Soup Spoon
    Inexplicably shaped like a fork, can only be used as a spoon if user is lvl. 21 or above.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:35 No.17079766
    an unwary dwarf could accidentally kill whole towns with this
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:37 No.17079790
    Rubber Battleaxe of Terror
    Battleaxe appears to be made of incredibly powerful metal and appears very sharp. It is also 6.5 feet long, but weighs only 1 pound.

    Damage: 1d4-3
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:38 No.17079794
    Amulet of Annoyance

    Anyone with this amulet in their possession cannot speak. If they do, the amulet will teleport to a random square 5 feet away from the owner.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:41 No.17079822
    Helmet of Contractual Obligation

    Any person wearing this helmet must make a DC 18 will save whenever they utter a promise of any kind to let someone know they will do something. If they fail, they are immediately required to focus entirely on what they promised, forgetting immediately that they are wearing the helmet until after they have finished their task. If they promise to do something else while wearing the helmet, the wearer must make another save or be forced to focus on this next promise immediately following the completion of their previous promise.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:41 No.17079827
    That should totally be nonlethal damage only.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:42 No.17079833
    The Tome of Never Ending Edition

    A spell book that inexplicably alters the text of any spells recorded within. Sometimes the spells are more powerful, sometimes the spells are significantly less powerful, but the ingredients ALWAYS become more expensive and the caster is required to completely relearn the spells when they are changed as the old versions he has partially memorized will no longer work.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:43 No.17079840
    Rod of Mild Winds

    Any time this rod is invoked it will spew forth a burst of air equivalent to a medium-sized person blowing out a candle.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:43 No.17079844
    Sling of Steve: An ordinary sling with a clown face on the leather pad, all it does is offer obvious advice and make backhanded comments about the user and their party.

    Barber's Bane Potion: Drinking this potion will cause your hair to grow or shrink into whatever style and color you want it to. It also has a chance of making you bald.

    Dancer's Greaves: Metal footwear that makes any form of combat manuevar into a ballet move, watch as your Fighter leaps gracefully away from that Orc's axe.

    Gentlemen's Gloves of Fisticuff Forte: These gloves give a bonus to unarmed fighting but only if both contenders fight in classic gentlemen form and the user rolls up his sleeves.

    Needlessly Large Gauntlet: A disproportionally sized metal glove that grows in size if your hand fits but otherwise stays on your hand. Gloved hand suffers a penalty to grabbing things and the user suffers a dexterity penalty but otherwise looks totally asymmetrical in a cool way.

    Glasses of Dramatic Sheen: Regular glasses that reflect light dramatically when the mood requires your eyes to be hidden.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:44 No.17079857
    Cursed version: Wind is accompanied by droplets of saliva and the pungent scent of morning breath.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:45 No.17079872
    Aw Christ, really?
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:46 No.17079876
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    >Gentlemen's Gloves of Fisticuff Forte: These gloves give a bonus to unarmed fighting but only if both contenders fight in classic gentlemen form and the user rolls up his sleeves.

    This sounds like a must-have item for a member of this homebrew PrC...
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:46 No.17079877
    Lens of Flaring

    A small disc of glass . Once a day the owner can use it to cause a shiny point of light to emit from a designated spot for one minute per user level.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:46 No.17079879
    this would be amazing for paladins that are reformed criminals and worry about slipping back to their old ways
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:47 No.17079891
    No shields yet? Okay then!

    Shield of False Sorcery

    This shield appears to be enchanted with an overwhelming magical aura of abjuration. Apart from this, the shield is entirely plain in every way and can be damaged as though it were a non-magical shield.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:48 No.17079908
    Tome of Infinite Crappy Sequel.

    The first time this tome is read it will contain the best story the reader has ever read, ending with a cliff hanger. The second time it is read it will contain a sequel to the first reading that doubles the severity of minor flaws in the first story/reading. Each time the tome is read the sequels that appear will contain more mary sues, plot holes, and soap boxing that the previous. The reader eventually gets so fed up with the writing that they discard the tome, forever denied knowing how the series ends.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:49 No.17079914
    >Gentlemen's Gloves of Fisticuff Forte: These gloves give a bonus to unarmed fighting but only if both contenders fight in classic gentlemen form and the user rolls up his sleeves.

    Additional bonuses if the user has mutton chops and/or a well-twirled mustache.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:50 No.17079927
    I recognize that symbol, but can't remember from where.

    What is it?
    >> 008 12/01/11(Thu)23:51 No.17079934
    The Ring of additional rings. This magic ring allows the wearer to wear one more magical ring then normal. Does not apply to normal non magical rings however.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)23:51 No.17079936
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)00:01 No.17080021
    Potion of Delay Hangover

    Bag of Freshness (Acts as Gentle Repose on contents of bag, but only for fruit and vegetables)
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)00:04 No.17080048
    >Implying that ships at sea wouldn't carry these as standard equipment
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)00:08 No.17080088
    So, Jaime Hyneman?
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)00:10 No.17080117
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    >A pair of socks that dry quickly and always smell nice. They also glow faintly when spiders are nearby.

    >yfw they start glowing one day and never stop
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)00:14 No.17080154
    Said gloves would never work, chap!
    As having a magical item that gives you a benefit while the other chap has none isn't gentlemanly at all!

    Only way it would work is if both fellows happened to have the gloves on, but then the fights would be more dangerous and liable to hurt someone, another negative in the eyes of a gentlemanly fighting!
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)00:18 No.17080191
    Gloves of Light: The tips of each finger on these gloves glows with a different light, but only if there is a loud noise. The louder the noise, the brighter the light, up to "bright" light.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)00:18 No.17080192
    oh god next time i play a wizard i'm going to make the socks and give them to another player, then switch them out with ones that dry themselves but never stop glowing just to freak them out
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)00:19 No.17080198
    A knife that can never be used to harm the person who's using it. Made by a mage who liked to cook.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)00:21 No.17080216
    Necklace of Comfort
    When wearing this necklace you will never become uncomfortable from sitting in one position too long. You can become uncomfortable by other means though.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)00:23 No.17080239
    An ornate ivory recorder.

    When played, it generates smells instead of sounds.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)00:24 No.17080248
    The Arrow of False Head Wounds
    This arrow can be pressed against one's head, magically passing through to the other side and staying there until pulled out. This gives the appearance of having been shot through the head with an arrow.
    This item seems to engender annoyance in some observers, but it is unknown whether this is a magical effect, a side effect, or purely coincidental.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)00:31 No.17080325
    The Traveler's Table

    A 32 inch circle of wood that can be folded into a compact cube.

    The disc can be placed on any surface and will balance, and anything placed on the disc will remain firmly attached to it unless moved by the person who put it there.
    >> sage 12/02/11(Fri)00:33 No.17080338
    Gentleman's Boxing Wraps
    When engaged in a skirmish with another, both sides will be equally matched to the lowest denominator. Same (effective) health, strength, etc. has no effect when fighting groups.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)00:34 No.17080340
    Hand Wraps of Hell
    When these hand wraps are worn, they burst into flames. These flames are purely illusory and do not even require a Will save to disbelieve. In fact, on close examination, the flames look very fake. This effect can only be turned off by removing the wraps.
    This item was created by a young wizard who wanted to appear more proficient than he was.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)00:35 No.17080351
    The Dapper Monocle

    This monocle can differentiate true gentlemen and those who are not.

    The Magic Hat
    A bag of holding transformed into a magician's top hat.

    The Cane
    A cane that can disguise any sword.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)00:37 No.17080359
    Okay, come on, these aren't bargain bin items.
    Can we cut it out with the gentleman stuff and keep giving out Goodwill-quality gear?
    >> sage 12/02/11(Fri)00:37 No.17080365
    The Canesword.
    This is a sword that can secretly be used as a cane.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)00:39 No.17080379
    Forthwright's Level of Obsessive Accuracy

    It appears to be a small wooden hammer with a spade at one end.

    When the hammer strikes a nail, whatever the nail was holding up will adjust itself to a perfect 90 degree angle.

    The spade can perfectly smooth out loose surfaces, and, if used for digging, creates perfectly flat, even holes.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)00:39 No.17080381
    Robe of allure.
    It's a robe that makes anything under it appear sexy as hell. Lifting or taking off the robe dispels the effect.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)00:39 No.17080383
    tarrasque, here I come!
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)00:40 No.17080390
    The Sheath of SHIIIIIING
    Whenever you draw a weapon from this sheath, it makes a dramatic SHIIIIIIING sound. There is a random chance (1/5 times) that it will polish the weapon to a mirror sheen.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)00:43 No.17080406
    A ludicrously flamboyant, oversized hat with a dull metal disk affixed to the front. The hat reads the wearer's emotional state and displays images on the disk to match -- an exclamation mark when surprised, a smiling face when happy, a frowning face when angry, and so forth.

    When the wearer is really angry or frustrated, in addition to displaying an appropriate face on the disk, the hat causes jets of steam to issue from the wearer's ears, accompanied by a whistling noise.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)00:44 No.17080420
    A coin that always lands heads up.

    Cat Statue
    A statue that will attract nearby house-cats. Smells like salmon.

    A short sword that when swung will cut nearby grass. But only grass can be cut by this sword.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)00:46 No.17080437
    >only grass can be cut by this sword.
    considering that if i mow my back yard i will likely lose hundreds of balls to the mowers blades, i want this
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)00:48 No.17080457
    Am I the only one who thought you might be cutting off your balls with a lawnmower?

    >>how do you fuck up that badly
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)00:49 No.17080467
    Winder's Ring of Convenient Background Music

    Whenever something suitably dramatic happens, the wearer of this ring hears appropriate music to accompany it.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)00:50 No.17080470
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)00:51 No.17080488
    Nope. Because I have a dog that's not smart enough to return balls during fetch.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)00:53 No.17080498
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    >A short sword that when swung will cut nearby grass. But only grass can be cut by this sword.

    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)00:57 No.17080534
    The Crowbar

    A hefty, wrought-iron rod, about two feet long.

    When you swing it, crows come out.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)00:57 No.17080536
    Knife of Coring.

    Upon hitting any seeds or pits when cutting into fruit or vegetable, teleports the seeds to the floor.

    Iron Dowsing Rod.

    As dowsing rod, but is attracted to iron-rich ore deposits.

    Lenses of Prismatic Vision.

    When the command word is uttered, these lenses provide the wearer with an enjoyable display of many-colored lights.

    Box of Preservation.

    Any foodstuffs placed into this wooden, rune-carved box has the effects of time reduced on it.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)00:58 No.17080540
    Derp, should be "a frowning face when sad", got a bit ahead of myself there.

    A jar labelled "Goatmeal". It appears to contain a sort of porridge-like substance. If eaten, it makes the user irresistably attractive to goats, causing all such creatures in a 4-mile radius to converge on the user's location. After 12 hours, this effect begins to wear off, with the radius decreasing by half every hour until it finally disappears entirely 24 hours after it started.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)01:00 No.17080562
    Can of Laughter

    A small tin that can collect the sounds of laughter when opened, and save them for use at a later time.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)01:06 No.17080623
    Armband of Immediate Social Outcastment

    When worn on the upper arm this armband will immediately cause most NPCs in the vicinity to look down upon and dislike the wearer.

    The armband is red, with a white circle containing a black design on it.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)01:09 No.17080642
    Ornate ring of dislike.

    It's a very nice ring. However, when you put it on, you think it looks like an eyesore.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)01:23 No.17080723
    Belt of Buckling!

    This belt doesn't have a buckle, yet somehow it keeps your pants up!
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)01:26 No.17080744
    >Sacred Hammer of the Straight and Narrow
    This hammer can instantly straighten up any nail that may have become bent during the course of ordinary carpentry work.

    >Key of All Situations
    A magic key which, when held, allows the user to correctly identify which key any instrument is playing in.

    >Wand of Time Control
    Allows the user to change the time signature being played in by any musical performer.

    >Universal Identifier
    When used, determines whether or not the owner is in a universe.

    >Tome of Grater Knowledge
    Contains valuable wisdom on the subject of grating cheese.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)01:29 No.17080771
    All dem misleading titles.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)01:29 No.17080777
    Wand of Time Control + Boots of Dubstep + Dancer's Greaves + Gloves of Light
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)01:34 No.17080800
    >> That guy whose CHA is 18 12/02/11(Fri)01:34 No.17080804
    I like the way you think!
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)01:59 No.17080984
    I have a liking for puns and wordplay.

    Time for some more.

    >Sword of Supreme Rule
    A blunt sword that, upon striking any object, informs the user of the objects length and height to the nearest thousandth of a millimetre.

    >Gauntlets of High Winds
    Allows the wearer to control the pitch of their farts.

    >Permanent Bracelet of Sex Change
    Once worn, any woman considering having sex with the user will change her mind about it and settle for a night in with a good book and a hot bath. Cannot be reversed.

    >Potion of Ultimate Swordplay
    Once imbibed, the user will have a really good time just messing around with his weapons.

    >Potion of Ultimate Wordplay
    Like the Potion of Ultimate Swordplay, only the user has a bit more fun making puns.

    >Abandoned Mine Locator
    Finds any object that the user has bought or been given and subsequently lost.
    >> The British !YH7rCWzZv2 12/02/11(Fri)02:01 No.17081004
    >implying Michael Flatley wears disgusting boots of dubstep
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)02:13 No.17081075
    Non-potion consumables - especially with randomly determined charges or effects - are great for items of only lesser power. Some ideas:
    -A small folded paper bird. When a command word is spoken, the bird unfolds, allowing a message to be written, then refolds and flies off towards the recipient. If not destroyed on the way the bird will eventually arrive at the recipient and unfold itself, turning into a mundane message.
    -A tea set that purifies water, usually sold with 1d4 pouches of enchanted herbs that it can brew a tea with. Each herb pouch is labeled as one of 4 types that sharpens a specific sense (roll a d4 to determine the effect of each pouch): 1-taste, 2-smell, 3-hearing, 4-touch. Each pouch has enough herbs to brew tea for 4 servings, but the magical effect persists only while the tea is hot. Once all pouches have been used the teapot still retains the ability to magically purify water by boiling it in the pot, but no further effects happen.
    -Set of 1d6 oracle bones. Using one of the bones involves asking a yes/no question and tossing the stick, which will land with the Yes or No side facing upwards. The bones are only able to answer questions limited to the immediate environment and 24 hours in advance or prior.
    -A moonstone of unusual size and transluscency set in an amulet. When the night sky is viewed through the stone, the constellations may be seen in sharp relief and are instantly recognizable even to someone unfamiliar with astronomy or astrology.
    -A brightly coloured lozenge in the shape of a miniature human tongue. Melting a lozenge on your tongue temporarily changes the language you speak to a random one.
    -A golden belt wrought in the likeness of a knotted rope with 2d4 knots. If pulled from a particular end it will unloosen one of the knots and give the wearer a burst of strength for one action only. Optionally using the belt will weaken the user afterward for an hour.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)02:14 No.17081078
    -A folded tablecloth that when spread, delays the spoilage of food place on it by 48 hours.
    -A small bell that produces a sound that is unable to be heard by living creatures, but a tone that only the undead can hear.
    -A gold ring that reforms into two silver rings when a command word is spoken. If the same command word is spoken, both silver rings will transform into three copper rings apiece.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)03:41 No.17081589
    -Knife of Slicing and Dicing
    Adds +1 to dexterity, +5 to any Skill (cooking) checks.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)03:48 No.17081638
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    somone needs to save this list and put it somewhere
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)03:50 No.17081650
    suptg archives.
    Strangely enough no one has added it yet. Be sure to do it justice!
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)03:57 No.17081682
    Gloves of the bee. It's a pair of frayed wool gloves and each has an angry and immortal bee inside. The bees won't leave the gloves.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)04:03 No.17081729
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    go vote anon!
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)04:08 No.17081760
    You don't vote suptg. it just goes.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)04:18 No.17081805
    belt of aesthetic appetite.

    keeps you from being interested in food if your body doesnt need it. Ie a diet-belt.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)04:19 No.17081810
    I'll take a dozen.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)04:19 No.17081814
    You do give it ratings, though.

    Go vote.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)04:21 No.17081826
    You, sir, win at everything forever.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)04:24 No.17081839
    >only 1 item needed
    >takes a dozen
    this is why you are fat anon
    >> Sintua 12/02/11(Fri)04:25 No.17081845

    God damn it I love you, /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)04:26 No.17081851
    Stick of Bouncing
    A magical stick that can bounce by itself.

    Made by Sir Walter Pogoins. Might start calling it a ogoin.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)04:35 No.17081889
    Fuck yes,

    "Unlock your truest potential, and go the distance."
    "Learn to love yourself"
    "Achieve true happiness and transcend space and time to devour God."
    Wait.. what was that last one?
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)04:35 No.17081892
    Tasha's Tickler

    Although small, dainty, and easily-destroyed, this inconspicuous white feather can be wielded in combat as a viable recourse to combat--as the feather holds magical properties capable of tickling things.

    But not living things. Weapons.

    By using this feather in combat (incurring any appropriate penalties), the feather tickles the weapon into submission, turning it into a comical, rubbery implement. This works especially well against intelligent weapons, as you might imagine.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)04:36 No.17081894
    Or they could wear out, get damaged, or maybe I just want a bunch of different colors to match my outfit for the day...

    >offers ndongo
    No thanks captcha.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)04:37 No.17081900
    perhaps something will be in the cheap pile cause its cursed.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)04:38 No.17081902
    Dummy of Ventriloquism

    Any person holding the dummy can speak through the dummy as he were casting the ventriloquism spell. The dummy's mouth always moves to match the words spoken by the user.

    The user can also make Perform (ventriloquism) checks untrained and gains a +5 enhancement bonus to Perform checks made to impress audiences.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)04:50 No.17081944
    Quill of Typography:

    Any non-magical text written with this quill will be automatically corrected for errors in typography, grammar and word choice. The effect is so subtle that the writer doesn't realize their text is being corrected as it is being written. In addition to the obvious benefits the quill may give a +1 bonus to skill checks related to writing, including forgery.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)04:55 No.17081963
    The Safety Mug

    This mug, made by an enchanting apprentice, was created so that it never spills the contents poured into it. This includes tipping the drink to consume the contents. The only way to empty the mug is to wait for the contents to evaporate, or boil away with heat.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)04:57 No.17081969

    You have to open the door, get on the floor then everyone becomes a dinosaur.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)04:58 No.17081974

    How Magickal is your world, OP? In our world such items, if authentic, would cost a fortune - perhaps twenty to thirty gold even.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:00 No.17081981

    For inspiration, look at chinese magical charms and shit. They bring "luck in business" (generic +1 to appraisal etc.) and "well-being" (+1 to will saves against... depression). These are pretty minor.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:01 No.17081983
    Bad (Ass) End

    A mirror that shows the death of someone close to you...but in the most badass way possible.

    >Real Life: Your grandpa dies of old age, quietly in his bed.

    >Mirror: Your grandpa, on a sinking pirate ship 'The Life-Saver'. As Captain he's going down with the ship but not before taking down his inner demons (represented as sea demons in the mirror) while playing a guitar and making love to your grandmother at the point where she was her hottest. All in full detail. Oh and theres enough explosions to make Michael Bay cream himself.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:04 No.17081990
    I wish that I had Jessie's girdle
    where can I find a girdle like that
    like Jessie's girdle
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:06 No.17081999
    Rod of equilibrium. When stood on its end, this rod unerringly balances regardless of how uneven the surface it's been placed on is. No weather or natural effect can dislodge it, but beyond that, it is as easy to dislodge or tip over as a balanced stick would be.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:09 No.17082012
    Flavor Exploding Cigars (1 Box)
    These cigars are extra flavorful, but people are afraid to take them after you share their name.

    Hound's Tooth
    A dire wolf fang knife in a beautiful pattern.

    I like the idea of great items, except.. these are broken ones. Are awesome-except-this-one-is-broken items kosher too?

    Short Goodbye Amulets
    These amulets alert you when the loved one wearing the matching amulet starts to die, and they begin to steal life from the living member of the pair to sustain the other just long enough for a goodbye. These are broken; maximum life taken; five minutes. Just long enough to get to their bedside from the market, if you're quick.
    Removing the necklace ends the effect, unbroken versions can steal a few weeks of your life, if you're traveling.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:10 No.17082016

    >These cigars are extra flavorful, but people are afraid to take them after you share their name.

    I like this.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:12 No.17082018

    Hmm, the amulets actually kind of sound like they could save a life. Unless it's of old age.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:14 No.17082025
    >Berry White
    A singing berry that when eaten will upgrade your sex drive.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:15 No.17082029
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    Hmm, working on a few ideas here:

    - Slippery slippers

    Makes everything slippery to the wearer. Do some bitching moonwalking with these.

    - Cape of dramatic entree

    Wearing this makes you entree quite dramatic.

    - Potion of prehensile beard.

    Makes your beard prehensile. For extra fun you could also make it have it own will.

    - Ring of delayed falling

    Delays a sudden fall for just enough for you realize that you are about to fall (Think Wile E. Coyote).

    - Amulet of flatulence

    You have to constantly fart. You can produce an impressive amount of gasses. Belonged to a jester known as the "Human Torch"

    - Hat of fluttering

    You can fly slightly above the ground for a short time by vigorously flapping hands.

    - Coin of improbability

    Always lands standing on the side

    - Cubic ball

    This is a perfectly round ball that won't roll. It will act as if its was a cube, sliding if the ground is steep enough or if thrown with enough force, but never roll.

    - Glasses of discomfort

    Makes whoever the wearer looks at uncomfortable.

    - Pipe of alternative orifices

    When you smoke with this pipe you can make the smoke exit trough other holes in your body, like your ears.

    - Scarf of eyespot

    Will make it look like you have eyes in the back. Won't work on intelligent creatures but animals will believe its real eyes. Great if an animal happens to be stalking you.

    - Pipsqueak

    A scarf that makes your voice constantly crack and break as if you where a teenager.

    - Diurnal watch

    A pocket watch that only tells you if its night or day.

    - Useless toothbrush

    As long as you have this toothbrush on your person you will never have to use it since your teeth will always stay squeaky clean. Prevents your teeth from getting dirty.

    I got a lot more in my head, but I got to run.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:15 No.17082031
    > functions as an enchanted weapon that can pierce armor and do bonus damage!
    Well, a botttle that could pierce plate armor isnt that bad. After all then you coudl try and use regular dagger to stab trough that hole.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:16 No.17082033

    >The Sheath of SHIIIIIING
    >Whenever you draw a weapon from this sheath, it makes a dramatic SHIIIIIIING sound. There is a random chance (1/5 times) that it will polish the weapon to a mirror sheen.

    As they say in France, FUCK YES.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:18 No.17082037
    >Dramatic Cape

    A cape that always flaps in the air, even if there is no wind.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:22 No.17082052
    potion of prehensile boss, that is awesome
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:25 No.17082066
    Thats funny. You know, yough such enchantments are pretty much useless in combat, adventuring situatious, or just anywhere else - it looks like its realy hard to make them.
    As they provide realy complex effects.
    Imagine magic like some kind of Programming language, useful effects are quite simple to create - make sword sharper, hard, make blade brust in flames when it hits. Etc. etc.
    But at same producing thoe useless but complex effects looks much harder to pull.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:26 No.17082073

    I'll take 20.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:27 No.17082077
    In-Sewer-ants Polly-Sea
    By paying an amount of coin you are able to protect a small business or home, and if an accident where to occur, you'd receive payment to buy another business or home.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:34 No.17082108
    The Bare Bear Bag:
    This seemingly regular brown burlap bag will always have something at the bottom of it when you look. Sometimes its a coin, a marble a new nails, or even a health potion.

    Sometimes, however, you will also find a dire bear staring up at you. If you don't pull out the bear which you will most likely inevitably fight the bear will clog up the works, so to speak, and the bag won't give you any more items.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:36 No.17082117
    The only way I'd change this would be to call it the Cloak of Dandy Wind.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:39 No.17082122
    >Facing down a Dire-Bear? Then try these!

    Bear-Knuckles! They turn your hands into the heads of bears! Now no longer worry about dire bears, because now you have two hungry bear heads, stuck on your arms trying to eat you! Order now and we'll give you the Right to Bear Arms, for free! Seriously, we're just giving this away! Why? Because its cursed.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:41 No.17082132

    I'll take seven.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:43 No.17082136
    >Telescope of Furthered Sight
    Allows the viewer to see an additional 10 feet beyond normal telescope enhancement.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:43 No.17082138
    Headband of Intimidation
    A girlishly ornate linen headband with brass decorations. When correctly tied around the head so that it displays prominently on the forehead it makes the wearer look very cute and cuddly. When he speaks what he says is echoed in a loud and angry Ogier voice emanating from thin air slightly behind and above the wearer. [It also makes Dragons want to give you a hug and say it will be okay.]

    Come-Back-Coin Purse
    A humble leather purse. Any coins kept in it over night will without fail return to the owner. [The thing is the when and where is rather loosely defined. Basically it ensures that the owner's normal coin circulation will miraculously include the same coins he spent earlier. It does NOT make him any richer.]

    Magnificient Blood Oil from the Secret Tunnels Below [INSERT IMPRESSIVE LOCALE]
    A small vial of blue glass sewn into soft leather with a cork on a string and a tie-down cover, this little treasure looks sturdy and practical. It contains an oily liquid with a slightly rancid odor that will protect any blade it touches from wear and decay and make it slide through an enemy's armor so much easier. [It is weapon oil at double price.]

    Lily Clasp of Distraction
    A large clasp featuring a white lily flower decoration that will distract from spots, small tears, a bad fit, and any fashion faux pas. It will not distract from the clasp itself being huge, hideous, and unfitting with any outfit.

    Persuasion Coins
    A stack of small silver coins that will persuade many horsemen, tavern patrons, shop assistants, servants, and guards to offer iformation. [...But only if they were open to a bribe anyway. It's coins.]
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:44 No.17082142
    Bright Purple Catsuit of Infiltration

    Seriously, have -you- ever seen a bright purple ninja? That's what we thought.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:45 No.17082145

    A teacher who has the voice of a talking car. He will teach you through-out your life. Be your neighbor and will often times call you Mister Mathews.

    No he will not revive you from the dead, nor will he kill zombies. That's a phoenix.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:45 No.17082147
    Queer Mace

    This mace is gay. It cannot talk and is not sentient in any way, but still prefers the company of the same sex.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:45 No.17082148
    I love it.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:47 No.17082154

    An umbrella that refuses to open indoors (bad luck you see)
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:50 No.17082162
    Axe Body Spray

    A can that when pressed...will shoot out axes all over the enemies bodies. Oh and it also attracts women, for some reason. I guess they like axe?

    I s'pose this wouldn't be in a bargain bin, lemme just take this..
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:50 No.17082165
    >Come-Back-Coin Purse

    I can see those coins ironically being placed on the purse owners eyes after death to pay passage across the river Styx.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:54 No.17082176
    Staff of Light

    Produces a faint glow at all times. The glow it produces isn't quite bright enough to be used as a torch in darkness
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:54 No.17082177
    Constructing cruel and ironic coincidences like that is every other GM's wet dream. That is in essence what the magic item is there for: Backstory.

    Great for epilogues.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:54 No.17082178
    Spoiled Eggs

    Eggs that will tell you the end of every story.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)05:56 No.17082188
    Glade the Gladius

    A sword that never wanted to be a weapon..but had aspirations of being a shovel instead. Will not fight, even to defend it's owner, but rather prefers to dig a hole and plant some nice lilies..maybe some lilacs too.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)06:03 No.17082215

    Can't wait for the guy buying that to realize that while he hasn't seen a bright purple ninja before, the guards for the guy he's robbing have. Several times.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)06:48 No.17082443
    These are all beautiful ideas and any one could be the linchpin of a campaign.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)14:17 No.17084902
    Throne of the Bear King - a very rustic looking throne with super plush looking cushions which regardless of how slowly or gently one sits in it always makes an uproarious farting noise when sinking into the cushion. No mater how you sit in the throne it is impossible to be uncomfortable. The throne most commonly appearing in magical oddity shops in which it is more at home then in any keep or throne room. Bonus points for making up your own Bear King lore.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)16:58 No.17086113
    How about items with bonuses not fitting the type of items they are? Like:

    Gloves of Binoculars
    By mimicking a pair of binoculars with his hands wearing these gloves, the wearer gains a +4 bonus to spot checks when looking at far off things.

    Headstraps of DON'T LOOK DOWN
    These series of straps provide a +5 bonus to Balance checks. The wearer cannot look at the ground while wearing them.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)19:05 No.17087178
    scratched glasses, when you use them for the humble price on -2 on spot checks you get a skill focus spot as a bonus feat.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)20:33 No.17087997
    book of lost secrets, a book that is missing pages of worthwhile information. such information was written in arcane mark, and as such will not be retrieved if a make whole spell is cast on the book
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)20:39 No.17088056
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    Reading some of these descriptions, I feel that many of these magical items were made by various wizards who were exasperated trying to stop their relatives from getting themselves killed through being retardedly ignorant, or were made as a way to get the in-laws to leave them the hell alone while still fulfilling their familial 'favors'.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)20:42 No.17088089
    A sword enchanted for one of those recall item spells.

    You have absolutely no idea who enchanted it. It's a good sword, but you could lose it at any time.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)20:48 No.17088141
    The Merchant's Blade
    This sword is not a particularly impressive sword, but will always attract a buyer's eye if offered.
    Useful for man in need of emergency coin.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)21:12 No.17088324
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    You know, it would be pretty easy to put an illusion spell on it that would convince the guards and others to 'play along' for the lulz.

    Of course, it only works as long as the infiltrator is completely serious and believes entirely in the suit's effects.
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)21:14 No.17088338
    . . . This cat is Jewish?
    >> Anonymous 12/02/11(Fri)21:16 No.17088348
    Then both the guards and the infiltrator would have to pass a check
    The guards would have to roll a will save against the effect of the magic, and the infiltrator would have to roll concentration each turn someone is within a certain radius.

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