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  • File : 1322704581.png-(355 KB, 500x376, 20090325184337!Zerg_colony_(StarCraft).png)
    355 KB Zerg Quest LXIII Cerebrate Anon 11/30/11(Wed)20:56 No.17068583  

    Last time, on DragonBall Zerg..

    The Swarm, now holding tenuous non-aggression pacts with both the Protoss Empire and the United Earth Directorate, continues its buildup toward seemingly-inevitable full-scale war against the rival psionic hivemind, the Dyles Entity.

    Following a quick strike, Anon has managed to capture three of Dyles' parasites. The tadpole-like aliens led their comrades to their captors up until an impromptu surgery and cryo-freeze kept them from relaying their position. Anon had just suggested to itself that it should, by means yet unknown, convince or bait the amphibian parasites and the Protoss, Anon's deadliest acquaintances, against one another.

    Will this devious plan work? Will Anon keep its place as the most powerful hivemind in the galaxy? Will Cerebrate Anon keep imagining that the narrator from DBZ is reading this aloud?

    Find out now, on DragonBall Zerg!
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)21:00 No.17068619
    I'be not played this quest before but it seems like the obvious choice is to get those parasites inside a Protoss controlled area and allow them to start relaying their position again hoping that the other entity feels the Protoss are really behind this and the Protoss feel the other entity is attacking for no reason.

    How to do that is still a mystery to me of course.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/30/11(Wed)21:02 No.17068631
    First order of business: send the tadpoles towards home. We should get a small, stealthed research ship to meet their transport and park them in orbit over a protoss world. We unfreeze them one at a time, glean what we can over a period of a week each. Hopefully, Dyles will send a retrieval force that will arrive as we unfreeze the last specimen
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/30/11(Wed)21:05 No.17068657
    Forgot to mention, the stealthed research ship should be as protoss looking ship, or possibly on a carrier
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)21:07 No.17068672
    Record a video of what Dyles does to planets, and send a package with the recording and one o9f the parasites with warning from the zerg to the protoss, along with a starmap and request for help in eliminating the scourge which plaugues planets.
    >> US Marine 11/30/11(Wed)21:17 No.17068747
    Lets see if we can devise a parasite or poisen that uses the DYLES group to kill dyles, like a virus that only propogates from say... Dyles synaptic center...
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/30/11(Wed)21:18 No.17068769
    Screw that, we're not allied with the protoss, we're not obligated to give them squat. Plus we had a hard enough time capturing these three tadpoles, they can get their own.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/30/11(Wed)21:22 No.17068785
    Plans so far:
    >Bait Dyles into attacking the Protoss while we research

    The only problem I see here is that we don't have a lot of ships that can stay cloaked for three weeks at a time.

    >Send the Protoss a press release and free sample

    >Develop an anti-Dyles virus

    (Possibly overlaps with other plans)
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)21:24 No.17068802
    We already did that; that's why the Protoss agreed to a mutual non-aggression pact in the first place.

    While we can use a Protoss Carrier to do the baiting with, Dyles isn't stupid.
    He already saw what attacked him and took these tadpoles; he's not going to be dumb enough to believe that it was the Protoss that did it.

    No, the best outcome would be that we learn about his biological and psionic makeup, while getting the Protoss to believe that they've come under direct attack by Dyles, and that they counter-attack.
    The primary reason to secretly doing the experiments in Protoss space would be so that we don't let Dyles know where our own planets are located.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)21:26 No.17068817
    >The only problem I see here is that we don't have a lot of ships that can stay cloaked for three weeks at a time
    Could a Carrier do it, if its power were to be rerouted from the shields to the cloaking field generators?
    >> TUCAMP 11/30/11(Wed)21:27 No.17068830
    I say we build/send more nukes and work on an anti-Dyles plague. And unfreeze one of them and send it into the nearest black hole, with luck Dyles will loose some ships, and I'll laugh.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/30/11(Wed)21:28 No.17068838
    Ok, we'll park the research ship outside protoss space with a decent all-protoss escort. When Dyles pops in, he thinks the protoss intercepted our ship and they're the ones performing the research. Our fauxtoss ship hightails it to a nearby protoss world while the escort buys time against them. If we time things right, we have our fauxtoss ship send out a desperate warning that it was under attack by Dyles, then boom! His fleet warps in and hilarity ensues.

    Of course, our fauxtoss ship can't survive the battle, to ensure the protoss remain unaware of our deception.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/30/11(Wed)21:29 No.17068841
    As long as it was stationary, probably. (You would have to roll periodically to make sure you didn't short/burn stuff out. In no way was that system designed for this)
    >> US Marine 11/30/11(Wed)21:38 No.17068897
    ...How about an observer with a built on storage unit?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/30/11(Wed)21:42 No.17068919
    It could maintain the cloak, but...WHO WAS RESEARCH?!
    >> TUCAMP 11/30/11(Wed)21:42 No.17068920
    I'm uncomfortable with the very idea of Dyles getting his hands on the first born. WE are the ones who will INFEST THEM, not some upstart. And I don't want Dyles to have the ability to glass a planet. And it'd still thake 3 weeks for it to get there anyway.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/30/11(Wed)21:47 No.17068949
    Who says he'll be able to possess them? We're every bit as psychically powerful as him, if not moreso and it's harder than hell for us to infest protoss. And it's not like we're just shipping a bunch of helpless protoss into his waiting arms, he's (hopefully) going to stumble into a well armed and prepared protoss fleet with reinforcements nearby.

    Furthermore, we need to ensure the protoss see us as a lesser threat so the two factions slug it out with each other so we can swoop in on them when they're weak.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/30/11(Wed)21:50 No.17068976
    (Small note: Terrans have the ability to glass planets, they're just really slow, clunky, and inexperienced where the Protoss probably have standard Cleansing classes in college)
    >> TUCAMP 11/30/11(Wed)22:00 No.17069061
    Touche, but it's the principle of it. Also I want to poke the world ship again.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/30/11(Wed)22:03 No.17069093
    (/tg/, you're too ADHD. We haven't decided what we're doing with the frozen frogs!)
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/30/11(Wed)22:05 No.17069100
    I don't think Dyles wants to glass planets any more than we do. Both of us want to take over any and all suitable planets for our own purposes.

    I agree we should poke the worldship again, it's been far too long. Perhaps we can get some research done while waiting for our specimens to arrive and our reinforcement fleet to get to UED space.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)22:06 No.17069108
    (Utterly unrelated to your quest, I start every session with "Last Time on Dragon Ball Z...." and somehow, it is still not old. One player is guaranteed to be amused by this. Continue your quest)
    >> TUCAMP 11/30/11(Wed)22:07 No.17069115
    I've been wanting to poke it since... Halloween? It's been too long.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/30/11(Wed)22:10 No.17069134
    (It never got old on the show, either. It's got some kind of magical staying power, which is exactly what she said)

    (Two votes for poking the Worldship? Damnit, /tg/!)
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)22:11 No.17069143
    How did this quest become little more than Two guys with an occasional third and Cerebrate Anon? We used a fuck ton more anons posting and it was fun for everyone...well, after we got out of the Bernie phase.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/30/11(Wed)22:14 No.17069159
    I'm voting for beginning the false flag op and poking the worldship while we wait
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/30/11(Wed)22:22 No.17069201
    (I have no idea. Votes on the archive seem to drop off a few weeks ago)

    (Fine, fine. Let me dig up the specs)
    >A bit of digging shows data intact in folders for operations, design, ship's logs, and bio-diversity.

    We've dug in bio-diversity and design, so far.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/30/11(Wed)22:26 No.17069235
    What files are left in design? (And can we get the operation going or at least have a vote on it?)
    >> TUCAMP 11/30/11(Wed)22:29 No.17069251
    I'm in the mood for operations, I want to know about the Xel'Naga protocol for a clogged crystal toilet.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/30/11(Wed)22:34 No.17069294
    The samples are en route to the Koprulu Sector, where a carrier awaits them...

    We have already accessed the Kânt'emir, Spirèdon and O-sip subfolders under Design. The Asey Ev folder is untouched.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/30/11(Wed)22:36 No.17069315
    (The number of votes in the archive for the thread involving widespread incest among the Morians seems to be the lowest for the entire quest. I think I may have pinpointed where I lost the audience...)
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/30/11(Wed)22:39 No.17069339
    Excellent. Let's finish up design then move on to operations.

    Give Asey Ev a poke
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/30/11(Wed)22:40 No.17069350
    (Disagreement? To the Thunderdome!)
    >> TUCAMP 11/30/11(Wed)22:51 No.17069450
    Nonsense, we shall engage in a reasonable manner and formulate a consensus that results in us finishing Designs before looking into the waste management systems.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/30/11(Wed)22:53 No.17069456
    I think we should finish off design, but if TUCAMP wants to go for operations I'll agree to that in the interest of speeding things up. Who knows, we might get two things done at once tonight
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/30/11(Wed)22:56 No.17069488
    (Alright, you two roll a d100 to find out how well this Asey Ev subfolder holds up, but no more of this "two things at once" talk. We always end up fixating on one when that happens, and the narrative structure gets all wonky, with one plot finishing up an hour before an equivalent amount of time has passed in the other plot)
    >> TUCAMP 11/30/11(Wed)22:58 No.17069505
    rolled 13 = 13

    I for one am shocked, shocked I say, to learn that there is a narrative structure in Zerg Quest.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/30/11(Wed)22:59 No.17069513
    Calm and rational agreement? What the fuck is happening to this board?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)23:00 No.17069523
    rolled 55 = 55

    Here's another 1d100.
    Let's see what we get this time. Maybe crystal windchimes?
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/30/11(Wed)23:03 No.17069554
    rolled 2 = 2

    Fair enough, rollan'
    >> TUCAMP 11/30/11(Wed)23:09 No.17069597
    I've been substituting "wanna fight about it" with increasingly verbose offers of debate. It was the best I could come up with at the moment.
    With that we'll get the designs for the waster management system.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/30/11(Wed)23:09 No.17069603
    See what happens when we come to mutual understanding? I guarantee if we had bickered pointlessly for an hour we would have gotten great rolls!
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/30/11(Wed)23:10 No.17069610
    Most of the subfolder is completely destroyed, but what's left is interesting. Asey Ev was apparently a renowned engineer. That is, he built engines. Powerful engines.

    What is left of the schematics is incredibly dense material. Labbrate and Cyberbrate both immediately launch into a close analysis, as one of the first things we're able to make out is that its classification is listed as being for intergalactic flight (which could make warp flight obsolete!).

    (Roll 2d100 to see whether they come up with results)
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)23:12 No.17069633
    rolled 8 = 8

    Come on, Zerg Science Corps, don't let us down now!
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/30/11(Wed)23:12 No.17069635
    rolled 17, 93 = 110

    Hoping for a good roll this time...fucking 2
    >> TUCAMP 11/30/11(Wed)23:13 No.17069648
    rolled 77, 47 = 124

    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)23:22 No.17069694
    rolled 31, 94 = 125


    Time to get rolling.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)23:22 No.17069698
    rolled 47, 80 = 127

    Let's see what we get.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/30/11(Wed)23:26 No.17069730
    Cyberbrate immediately begins plugging in numbers, while Internbrate and Labbrate collaborate on application. After about five hours of intense study, they inform us that they have tentative designs for what they call a Brane Slipstream Drive, though they admit that they're unsure of how physics will act on the ship once it exceeds a certain speed. They do not suggest using it without what Artisanlord poetically calls "Laika trials."
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/30/11(Wed)23:30 No.17069775
    rolled 55, 63 = 118

    Well. Let's start some test runs
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)23:30 No.17069777
    If this drive truly works, then it would give our forces an incredible advantage, being able to travel and receive reinforcements faster than any other race.
    With the Protoss still without their Warp Network, this could be what we need.

    Have Labbrate begin immediate construction of prototypes and trials of the new drive. Preferably to take place somewhere in our 4th Colonization Wave sector.
    >> TUCAMP 11/30/11(Wed)23:31 No.17069786
    rolled 88, 33 = 121

    A certain speed of light? Anyway, let's stick a dog in it and test it.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/30/11(Wed)23:42 No.17069902
    >Speed of light?


    (Lightspeed's too slow.)

    It takes two days for the drive to be constructed, charged, and a suitable dog procured from a pet shop on Tarsonis.

    (I know we've been rolling a lot, but here's the super fun part. Roll 1d100 to see how this goes)
    >> TUCAMP 11/30/11(Wed)23:43 No.17069922
         File1322714627.jpg-(6 KB, 128x182, books.jpg)
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    >> TUCAMP 11/30/11(Wed)23:44 No.17069933
    rolled 90 = 90

    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/30/11(Wed)23:50 No.17069991
    rolled 27 = 27

    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/30/11(Wed)23:58 No.17070061
         File1322715507.gif-(598 KB, 300x168, Cochrane Sweet Jesus.gif)
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    (You bastard. Roll lower. It's more fun that way!)

    We place our test subject, a young border collie, into the pod. The pod, slightly smaller than a battlecruiser, is almost all engine and drive core, with a small cockpit for the passenger and a very small computer interface to receive the ignition signal and call for retrieval.

    The ship is towed into place, and the signal is given. The ship flashes with a red light, and is gone. The light remains for several seconds, and thermal sensors indicate it is emitting near-solar temperatures before it winks out.

    Twelve-point-six-six-four seconds later, the pod appears in the outer reaches of Lutrious' star system, only fifty or sixty million miles from its intended target, along with large gravitic distortions that pull several objects from its Kuiper Belt into the system. Battlecruisers destroy the objects quickly, once we understand exactly what just happened.

    Unfortunately, while the test was largely a success, the pod is horribly mangled from stresses, and the dog has...well, the most accurate word is probably "popped." More work is needed.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 12/01/11(Thu)00:04 No.17070108
    Well then. Even if we can't figure out all the bugs, we have a potent means of transporting raw resources and nonorganic equipment around the galaxy.

    Can the Zerg Science Team think of anything that would make this a feasible mode of general transportation? And how much would this cost compared to standard warp jumps?
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)00:11 No.17070164
         File1322716267.jpg-(30 KB, 427x366, 1276087280560.jpg)
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    >Make a trip of 3 weeks in 12 seconds
    Sweet Jesus indeed.

    Have the Zerg Science Corps continue to iron out the problems with the system.
    Confer with Warbrate about the possible applications of this drive system as a planetbuster type of weapon.

    Will it be more cost-effective to create massive heighliner-type ships which will carry our forces inside them, or will we be able to miniaturize the technology and get it cheaper to upgrade all of our ships to use this new technology?
    >> TUCAMP 12/01/11(Thu)00:12 No.17070173
    Build the new one out of the zerglek armour. More testing is needed, and get more dogs... though why we're copying the testing practices of an old group we don't know anything about is curious.
    >> EnthusiasmBrate 12/01/11(Thu)00:14 No.17070189

    Have internbrate, labrate, cyberbrate, and even Nargil with his knowledge of bio-mechanical functions get to work devising ways to make this thing stable. Give them unlimited access of accountantbrate's resources.

    We get this gift of an engine perfected, and we can have our entire empire on Dyles doorstep with an armada of nukes and back again with an empty missile array in minutes. This engine will win the war gentlemen, no doubt in my mind.

    Picture this. A mighty carrier looms in the void, its bowels packed with nukes and zergleks. One moment it is in the emptiness, the next it is over a Frog world emptying its guts. Another moment later its back home over nukeworld, a dozen craft zooming into its hold with a payload of nukes. A few minutes later and it returns to the Dyles world, now an empty ball of glass where it retrieves all its errant zergleks. The next moment the supercarrier is over a new Dyles world and the process is renewed.

    This war can be won in a weeks time if we can pump enough nukes, and build a more adequate supply of zergleks.

    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/01/11(Thu)00:16 No.17070205
    After some consideration, Labbrate theorizes that the issue may just be that our craft was solidly constructed in only three dimensions, and that the stresses pressing on the vehicle might be from a higher dimension. If we had access to materials crossing that dimension, we might be able to shore the structure up on the additional axis.

    If that problem is solved, this will become more cost efficient than Warp travel for most interstellar distances.

    While more cost efficient, it is unlikely we will be able to miniaturize it enough for use on craft smaller than our capital ships.

    >why we're copying the testing practices of an old group we don't know anything about is curious.

    Artisanlord tried very hard to dredge the memories of the UED Terrans we infested and lost for dramatic material. One of the scientists was enamored of Earth's early space program.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)00:21 No.17070237
    Hmm...Alright. Set the Science Corps to reverse-engineering and understanding the metamaterials used in the one Arbiter we have.
    It's the only example of materials using greater than 3 dimensions that we have.
    >> TUCAMP 12/01/11(Thu)00:23 No.17070253
    So it all comes back to being able to build arbiters huh...
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/01/11(Thu)00:23 No.17070257
    (The rest of you want to go with this?)
    >> EnthusiasmBrate 12/01/11(Thu)00:26 No.17070275
    Ill vote for it. Not like we were using that Arbiter for much anyway.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 12/01/11(Thu)00:26 No.17070285
    So for now we're looking at heighliner style transports. Good enough for now. Let's work out the kinks of the design later (especially since we don't have access to higher-dimension materials) and go poke around the operations folder.

    Who knows, maybe there's a clue in there
    >> Big Fat Zergling 12/01/11(Thu)00:30 No.17070307
    I'm down with that. The stupid arbiter is just gathering space dust as it is anyways.
    >> TUCAMP 12/01/11(Thu)00:31 No.17070310
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    Sounds ok to me. And look russian.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/01/11(Thu)00:38 No.17070356
    rolled 74 = 74

    (Oooo, three votes. It's all official, now!)
    >> Big Fat Zergling 12/01/11(Thu)00:44 No.17070416
    This trend of cooperation is deeply unsettling
    >> TUCAMP 12/01/11(Thu)00:48 No.17070444
    Well, I think we all just want to kill Dyles quickly so we can go back to trying to get Khas to notice how we changes our hair for him... or some other incredibly teen movie way of trying to get the captain of the team to notice us.

    Kinda felt that way to me anyway.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 12/01/11(Thu)00:52 No.17070479
    I didn't think we had that kind of relationship with Khas, or at least not so soon after Kingston. It's only been what, a couple months since we had to vaporize our dear, sweet archnemesis? I didn't think we were ready for another relationship like that yet
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/01/11(Thu)00:52 No.17070480
    After about eight hours working on the arbiter, three of which involved just finding the relevant areas of the ship, Labbrate believes it has discovered the mechanism that the ship uses to interact with its fifth-dimensional materials. After another couple of hours' collaboration with Cyberbrate, Internbrate, and (just for a moment) Artisanlord, it informs us that it has a plan for drawing matter out in those directions. If it works, we should be able to mold fifth-dimensional plating that, while more or less useless for regular combat, may make traveling with the new drive much more survivable.

    (roll 2d100, and hold onto your butts)
    >> EnthusiasmBrate 12/01/11(Thu)00:54 No.17070493
    rolled 53, 79 = 132

    Rock and roll!
    /tg/ dice may in fact be merciful tonight!
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)00:55 No.17070499
    rolled 92, 70 = 162


    TG dice, don't fail us now!
    >> Big Fat Zergling 12/01/11(Thu)00:55 No.17070505
    rolled 44, 33 = 77

    I don't think I should be rolling, what with my shoddy performance tonight
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)00:56 No.17070507
    rolled 94, 32 = 126


    Butt grips in place, let's do this.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)01:06 No.17070568
    rolled 40, 24 = 64

    Holding on to butts.
    >> TUCAMP 12/01/11(Thu)01:18 No.17070639
    The threads been posted in the archives, so I guess one more update for the night.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/01/11(Thu)01:18 No.17070644
         File1322720332.jpg-(132 KB, 500x500, Zerg_Icon1.jpg)
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    (Most of you rolled pretty well. How am I supposed to make things interesting if all you do is succeed?)

    After another few hours, another pod is rigged up, this time with our invisible, multidimensional supports welded into place by means Cerebrate Anon didn't take enough physics to explain. For consistency, another dog is procured (an overweight beagle) and placed inside. The ship is towed into position, aimed meticulously, and sent on its way. Once more, a red light burns for several seconds in its wake.

    Nearly thirty seconds later, the second pod arrives at its destination, unshelving more cosmic debris. Once recovered, our forces at Lutrious are treated with a very frightened, but physically intact dog in a test pod that is only marginally crushed. Cyberbrate suggests some minor modifications to the new supports, which will likely prevent most of the damage entirely.

    Congratulations. We have just rediscovered a form of space travel the universe has not seen since the death of the Xel'Naga.


    (Since there's no way in hell we're topping that before I need to go to bed, I think we can stop here. How's that for a post-holiday thread?)
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/01/11(Thu)01:19 No.17070648
    How do you catch that so damn fast?
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)01:22 No.17070666

    And with that, our Zerg brood is now capable of dizzying feats of logistics, and hit-and-run attacks with warp-capable vessels from obscene distances.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 12/01/11(Thu)01:24 No.17070686
    Hell yeah, ludicrous speed! First thing for next week will be trying to produce more 5th dimensional materials for more pods
    >> TUCAMP 12/01/11(Thu)01:25 No.17070694
    I like reading the tags and descriptions, so when I think the thread is about over I bring up sup/tg/, and often I see it an vote for it before you post here. I just decided to comment this week out of boredom.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/01/11(Thu)01:25 No.17070695
    >our Zerg brood is now capable of dizzying feats of logistics

    We've pulled off some serious shit before. We recently infested a computer that is also a planet.
    >> TUCAMP 12/01/11(Thu)01:35 No.17070755
    And carting a moon around, can't forget zergworld... which has now become incredibly practical. We shall build a new zergworld bigger and better than before!
    >> Cerebrate Anon 12/01/11(Thu)01:37 No.17070766
    Zerg World is unique, and will stay that way.

    Now, if you wanted to regain the moon and replace its molten core with a drive core...
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)01:46 No.17070809
    With the new slipstream drive, it would become a gravitic weapon of unparalleled destructive power. We would be able to tear planets from their orbits.

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