>"Something else that no one RPG game has done, and this is my pride and glory, is the magic using class," he said. "Every other game it's all generic, it doesn't matter kind of priest you are, what temple you worship, you get all the same spells. It doesn't matter what kind of mage you are, you get all the same spells.

>"In this world, there are eight different temples, there are eight different schools of magic. Each one of them has their own spells."

>>17056413
Loads of games have done that, though.

In the words of that guy from Observe and Report, "I thought this would be funny but it's just sad."

>Holland wants to give them "a taste of what's to come," and what's to come, he says, is realism.
>He's marketing the game as the most realistic fantasy based role-playing game (RPG) on the market.
>In his game, called The Realms of Atlantasia, realism means bows are less useful in the rain, armour rusts and horses die if not cared for.
>"Your weapons and your armour take damage in battle," he said. "You've got to get them repaired."
>"As realistic as I can get in a fantasy-based world, we have added it in this," he said.
>Like in real life, players won't find the same stores everywhere they go, and similar stores don't have the same prices and merchandise, he said.
>And players have to make sure characters practise their skills or their characters won't develop as quickly as they could, said Holland.
>"It's part of the realism," he said.
>Holland has introduced exchange rates into his game, something he says no other role-playing game has done before.

>There are 900 spells in the game, and there are many more to come, he said.
>Out of the 52 monsters introduced in the game, 44 of them nobody has ever seen before, he said.
>Holland has many supplementary books he wants to publish to give his game a more "3D like experience."
>The supplementary materials include a dictionary for each of the languages he's come up with, atlases, and books on potions and poisons.

Props to him for selling the PDF for that though. Even if the game is apparently a terrible messy clusterfuck.

>>17056422
Even D&D, which this guy apparently hates, has domains for clerics and 8 schools of magic which wizards can specialize in. When you add in things like alignment restrictions, class restrictions, even race restrictions, what kind of priest/mage you are has a significant impact on what spells you have access to.

>>17056467
I just started reading it. The attention to the use of language applied in the introduction is marginally less than the average proofreading I give a post on /tg/.

And one time here I posted 'money' instead of 'funny'.

>>17056474
Seriously this hasn't been proofread at all.

/tg/ will probably rage at this guy's attitude to elves.

>Gypsy is a class

>>17056498
JESUS.

CHRIST.

This is a parody right?
You're all playing along, aren't you?
The website gives it away, if not the descriptions of the game.

>>17056568
Read the game. There's no way this is a parody.

Suddenly I feel significantly better about my own works.

You know that project everyone on /tg/ started once we thought we could "do better than that stupid D&D game"? This is it. Only without the point where we stopped.

>>17056726
I finished 3, and none of them were quite as bad as this.

Well, it's shorter than FATAL.

>18 years in development

Why does it seem like it was written by a 17-year old?

>>17056756
Maybe development was passed on from father to son.

>>17056756
probably because it was written by a 13-year old, then published by himself 18 years later.

>On Atlantasia you will NEVER find a half-breed elf (if a female elf was ever raped by another race she would commit suicide).

My god. This just smacks of terribad.

>>17056799
Goddamn it, at least when I look back at the stuff I worked on in my teenage years I have the good sense to cringe and file it away somewhere where it will never again see the light of day.

>* this poison makes you dizzy and collapse asleep within 10ss

>>17056827
fuck yes

>It is because of chaos dragons that the Season of Chaos exists. This is the time chaos dragons mate.
During this time, male chaos dragons take the females on a mating dance that takes through every
dimension they can (some people actually get caught up in these dances and get deposited on some
other dimension <30% chance someone in the group will be caught>).

"Ah shit, I got caught up in an interdimensional dragon orgy and now I'm stuck in Hoboken."

>>17056916
If it's a <30% that someone in the group is deposited in another dimension, doesn't that mean that a sizeable percentage of all living beings get dumped in other dimensions every year? Wouldn't that prevent any stable civilization from ever getting started?

Ok, the guy needs someone to clean his shit up. I can forgive that. Detail to Elves? Meh.

Magic? "Guild" classes? Fighting classes?

Is this Basic D&D?

Do we know anything about this guy, aside from the fact he spent 18 years making this? Any playtesters?

>>17056916

K so, against my better judgement I'm going to go ahead and say that isn't the most awful idea I've ever heard. Infact, it would be useful.

And it would definitely make the party WTF

>Dat map

Is that Crayola marker I smell? Holy shit, it's 7th grade all over again.

Has anyone looked at the character sheets yet?

I think the most charitable word I can use to describe them is "inefficient". An entire half page devoted to your Shoulder Bag (full pouch). No lines, no columns. Just the words "Shoulder Bag (full pouch)" and a half of page of whitespace.

>Squirrel -5 E.P.s*

>Many a well laid trap has been foiled by a group of squirrels chattering in the branches above your ambush!

>And while they may be pesky, annoying little rodents, they are prized by the goddess Dannuih and therefore anyone who kills one of these creatures loses five experience points (unless one or two are killed for food, the goddess gives the world this).

Be very careful of wonton squirrel slaughter in the magical realms of Atlantasia!

>Gnomes are always trying to learn what dwarves know and therefore will try to latch on to a dwarf
(which usually drives the dwarf crazy).

Oh those zany gnomes, I love their hijinks.
This really does reek of terrible.

I was starting to feel a little bad about trashing the kid's work, bad though it is. But then I read his snotty comment about other rpgs being passe and too generic and felt better about putting this terrible pile of terrible terribleness down.

What the fuck is a rebirth?

Everything is reborn when it died, or did they just rename years for no real reason?

Also - stat blocks are atrocious:

Rock Crab 21 E.P.s

This is a crab 1' - 2' around that will look like a rock on a beach (unless you look underneath the
crab where it hides its claws (the right claw is much larger than the left). Very little can break
through its shell so the rock crab takes a more defensive posture than that of the aggressor.

Attacks: 2/ss (both claws)

To Hit: 42% for the right claw
53% for the left claw

Defense: 96% (basically, only magical weapons can hit a rock crab)

L.P.s: 45 - 85

Physical Attacks: right claw: 2d20
left claw: 1d20 + 3

>Writing fantasy novel
>Gets bored with D&D
>Fuck D&D, I need to stop writing this novel and make my own RPG!

If I've learn anything from experience with people's "fantasy novels" being turned into settings, it's that it shouldn't happen. Whatever logical jump he made rustles my jimmies.

> Dragons are the ultimate being on Atlantasia and any should think several times before seeking out
an encounter with one of these amazing creatures. If you are caught out in the open when a dragon
is hunting, the best course of action is to find somewhere out of the dragon's sight and hole up!
All dragons have an intelligence of 12-16, psychic defense of 14-18 and a wisdom of 16 - 22. All dragon spells take 2ss to cast (except guardian spells which take 1ss). When dragons are in the
act of spell casting, no one is able to disrupt this casting. All dragons have a hoard of magical things (except guardians). If you find their hoard (10 rolls on
the treasure table) you will have to kill the dragon in order to collect the hoard.

>>17057216
>Also - stat blocks are atrocious

Fucking columns, how do they work?!

>>17057216

>This is a crab 1' - 2' around

>AROUND

Sooo these crabs have a circumference of 1' - 2' that means a diameter of 3 to 7 inches. You know like the size of the average crab caught for food.

Yet killing one nets you 26 more xp than a squirrel...

Proof reading go!

>>17057249

Also, there are attacks and abilities than run off of stats, yet it doesn't include monster stats as standard.

>>17057294
The actual section devoted to how to actually DO ANYTHING is miniscule, from what I've seen so far. It's all tables of stats and modifiers and god knows what.

>Atlantasia
>Atlantis + Asia

That pretty much explains it.

The whole being different for differences sake does irritate me.

L.P.s = HP
E.P.s = xp
Rebirths = years
5 lv. = lvl./lv. 5

Dear lord it's like this guy is stuck in 1995. Look at this page:
http://www.realmsofatlantasia.com/about-us
Hover over the text and try to tell me that this guy is not stuck in the geocities era.

>Gnomes magically steal things unintentionally
WHAT
WHY
HOW
WHY
WHY

Par-traxx is an enigma on Atlantasia. Here is what is known about him:
 he is a Moon Elf who became the first Dragon Mage (combined with the Demi-god Chaos
Dragon)
 he has been known to show up in many different looks and personas
he lives in the Crystal Tower which is located in the Nor-Scand Mountains
 he is the idol of almost every Elven Mage
 he is 5' 1" tall and weighs 79 lbs.
 he is always seen with his familiar Terronis (a large black bird with red splotches in its wings)
 he is always seen with a black/gold staff that is 6' high
That is what is known around Atlantasia by any who are able to read or have been to a bard's
performance.

Here are the things no one knows about Par-traxx:
 his familiar is actually a 75' phoenix
 the staff he has with him is actually the relic The Staff of the Cosmos (which he keeps with
him so no one can wield its tremendous powers <he knows what would happen if this staff
were to end up in the wrong hands>)
 he was the one to teach the War Magi how to create their shield which absorbs energy and
uses that energy to strengthen itself
 he knows and can use ALL forms of magic
 the biggest thing not known about Par-traxx (none of the Deities even know this) is that he
is actually the avatar of the original creator of all the known universes and dimensions
Because of this last point, Par-traxx cannot be touched physically, mentally or magically.

If
confronted, Par-traxx will use the following tactics in order:
 he will first try to talk the antagonist out of the confrontation using a logical approach
 if that does not work, Par-traxx will unleash his familiar in its true form (he will cast a fireball
in Terronis' direction)
 if they continue to press, he will alter his own form into that of his ancient Chaos Dragon
 if this fails (and the antagonist is angering Par-traxx), he will scatter their atoms across every
known plane of existence and dimension, allow those atoms to retain all the knowledge of
the plane of existence/dimension they were in. Then he pulls the atoms back together using
the line "knowledge is power and all you seek is power so that is what I have given you;
ultimate power". While Par-traxx cannot destroy anything or anybody (after all, he is THE
creator), this has been known to kill any this happens to (there is 1 person who survived and
now wanders Atlantasia babbling to himself as he attempts to organize all the information
his mind holds now <you have a 1% chance of surviving this attack>)
170
Par-traxx can be used to insert quests into a group (he is famous for this). He will either show up in
your camp out of the blue (10% of the time) or be situated somewhere in any form you wish (he has
probably used the form before so be creative; he is!) where the group will pass by him.

>>17057338

So, they're like kenders, but even more fucking annoying?

>Holland wants to give them "a taste of what's to come," and what's to come, he says, is realism.
>He's marketing the game as the most realistic fantasy based role-playing game (RPG) on the market.
>In his game, called The Realms of Atlantasia, realism means bows are less useful in the rain, armour rusts and horses die if not cared for.
>"Your weapons and your armour take damage in battle," he said. "You've got to get them repaired."
>"As realistic as I can get in a fantasy-based world, we have added it in this," he said.
>Like in real life, players won't find the same stores everywhere they go, and similar stores don't have the same prices and merchandise, he said.
>And players have to make sure characters practise their skills or their characters won't develop as quickly as they could, said Holland.
>"It's part of the realism," he said.
>Holland has introduced exchange rates into his game, something he says no other role-playing game has done before.

This reminds me of Sierra adventure games where you have to type out the most obvious things to do. Like if you were sitting down and wanted to move somewhere, you had to type "stand up". In real life it's automatic. But the problem when trying to introduct realism in a tabletop RPG is that you can't do it automatically like in real life, and so it creates paperwork. And honestly, nothing kills an escapist game for me like high maintenance.

>>17057346
>the biggest thing not known about Par-traxx (none of the Deities even know this) is that he is actually the avatar of the original creator of all the known universes and dimensions
>Because of this last point, Par-traxx cannot be touched physically, mentally or magically.
Well at least he's honest about it being a self-insert character.

>>17057335
>Go to page
>Woman who created the Gnomes
>Hover over to click
>ENTIRE SECTION SWIMS
>Can't actually click

>>17057349

O' Gary Stu
O' Gary Stu
Your plot is so tried and trueeeeeee...

>>17057359
I don't even.
They seem to be like... the EMBODIMENT of annoying.
Why did they let that women create this. Why.
I don't understand. Explain it to me.

>>17056916
This is my next background for any supernatural modern game. I'll read this book and use it shudder and describe the horrible world I came from.

>>17057390
>And honestly, nothing kills an escapist game for me like high maintenance.

Why I couldn't get into GURPs, even though I know it's a pretty good system. It's way too fucking broad.

>>17057080
There are a lot of 'art wounds' of whitespace in the book too.

>>17057147
It's probably to prevent someone killing an abominably larger amount of squirrels to gain their experience and achieve ultimate power.

>>17057198
Yeah, I mean what is that about? It's incredibly unoriginal as a setting.

Also:
>the kid
He's married and he worked on this for 18 years.

>>17057427
Do it. I give you my support. Your group will most likely have good laugh, and that is probably the best thing this horrible game can create. Good laughs at how bad it is.

>>17057436
It only takes me a month at best to realize my ideas are shit and scrap them.
I mean, I've got a problem with perseverance, but this guy took it to the polar opposite.

>>17057445
Do you think he ever stopped and wondered and though, "Shit. Am I really wasting my time on this piece of shit?"

Actually nevermind. I fucking know he didn't. He probably had one moment of self-doubt about a week before Eragon hit the headlines and then it was CHOO CHOO PUBLISH THIS SHIT.

This makes me want to just go back, and start from the beginning of fantasy. Role-play in basically what everyone else sees as "generic" and "out-dated." Not DnD, no, the thing that inspired DnD, I'm talkin' Tolkien. Go back to the time when this shit was probably the most original fantasy created. At the time no one thought of Elves as this race of eternal warriors, smiths, and scholars. Shakespearean dialogue too, if my group could actually get into it, hell ya I'll run a game like that.

And I'll run it with a Rules-Light system. Fuck all this complicated shit.

>first page of text
>this proiject.

Oh.
Oh wow.

>>17057457

He says he did in the interview, after finishing the spells.

Took him THAT long.

FATAL's mechanics + Atlantasia's world = Creates a playable game.

>>17057968
Two wrongs don't make a right.

>>17057993
but three lefts do.

Wait a second here. Maybe I'm just a goddamn moron, so bear with me, but I still need to clarify this. He wanted to create an "original" fantasy setting, right? So he went with elves and dragons?

>>17058114

Original content, do not steal.

Yes. They were novels first, which he's still considering publishing from the looks of the site, as the "familiar characters" may come up in player's games. And such. He just stopped working on the novels to make this game for 18 years, though I doubt he really stopped working.

>>17057618

I'm actually under the impression we've grown so bitter and jaded with everything that a generic fantasy game has finally looped back around to being novel and interesting again.

>>17057349
God this is Elminster but worse

>>17058919

Make that much, much worse. Like Luke the Plagueson of Nurgle compared to your average neckbeard.

>that feel when I considered ripping off my own campaign to make a novel kinda like what Record of Lodoss War did

>>17059006

On that train of thought, I kinda wish that rpg replays were more of a common thing outside of Japan.

>>17059006
Nothing wrong with that, if your group were awesome and you had an awesome campaign then go for it. It's doing the reverse like this chucklefuck that's bad.

>>17059019
>>17059040

My Dresden game has seem to generate some interest here on /tg/. I ain't much of a writer (and sometimes I find fiction writing a chore) but would you read replays of that game? Or maybe my in-character journal I do?

Kind of having the opposite problem. I have a pretty awesome ,actually fantastic, fantasy world but I can't think of a proper system for it since the players are mostly going to be traders, noblemen, and so on. Anything resembling a monster problem is likely going to be handled by an army of men with pointy sticks.

Just found this gem.
>Dolphins will never attack themselves (unless protecting their young) and dolphins have a very high intelligence (15).

First, if you're trying to represent dolphins "realistically" as the case is with everything in this game, you need to make room for the fact that dolphins can be humongous assholes. They have been observed murdering for no discernible reason.

Second, Int 15 means the dolphins speak 7 languages.

>>17059125
>Int 15 means the dolphins speak 7 languages.
Oh, that's hilarious.

>>17059086
Houses of the Blooded sounds like it might work, or at least give you some good ideas. Check that out.

>>17059125

"Man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much — the wheel, New York, wars and so on — whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man — for precisely the same reasons."

>>17059125
Intelligence seems to ocme together with assholism, along with kindness. There are dolphin rapists, for example, while I saw an heroic chimp save a baby it was not related to from drowning and return it to the mother. The two became friends, but did not breed.

>>17059162
Will do, sir.

>>17059086

HotB is a good game (with some quirks) and is very shared narrative. If you want a game that could do a good nobles & merchants game check out Burning Wheel as well. It is less shared narrative, with some minor exceptions. Also the game rules don't rely on slaying monsters and being a party of adventurers.

>>17059125
Does it list the languages?

>>17059657
If not, may I suggest:
Dolphin
Aquatic
Mer
Atlantean
Sea-tongue
Fish
Thieves' Cant

>>17059125
>Dolphins speak 7 languages.

They speak Bottlenose, Bayleen, Humpback, Orca, Narr, Wright, and either Pink River or Shark.

>>17059743
>Cetacean

>>17059708
>Thieves' Cant

Fucking lost it.

He keeps writing "RPG game(s)"

>>17060121
We have 2 threads of this now.
Should we condense or race them like Octopi?
Other thread:
>>17060117

>>17057216
>42%
Oh my god, we need to roll a 1d100 just to calculate hitting?

>>17057349
I can just hear the word 'jerry stu' being whispered into my ear by a virgin maiden.

>>17060166
It's percentile die.
It uses 2 d10s usually, one being the tens place, etc.
Not that bad of a system, really.

>>17060189
Oh. That's pretty cool.

>>17060214
CoC uses it.
Makes for easy calculations of how likely you are to succeed at something, but it's a bit boring.

You guy(s) are overblown thing. This game is best among RPG(s) and very realistic. Everyone is talking about it, like here.

>>17058919

I've just had a great idea.

Elminster as a Kender.

>>17061005
>implying Gary would stoop so low as to play a Kender

>>17057349

>you have a 1% chance of surviving this attack
>there is 1 person who survived

So, by statistical accuracy we can say that he only used it against somewhere around 100 people?

>>17061699
Well, with the whole giant dragon bit, the fact a hundred people have even gone that far is quite impressive.

>>17060477
What is up with all the (s)ing?

You've made some pretty amusing comments on his website, /tg/.

Why didnt he just play Basic Roleplaying?

>>17061023

Don't you mean Ed Greenwood. Gary had little to do with D&D by the time Dragonlance came out, and Ed made the pastiche realms best forgotten.

>>17059125

>They have been observed murdering for no discernible reason.

Actually, we discerned the reason a couple of years ago.

It's because they're dicks.

>realism
>see armors
>studded leather
>heavy steel shield
>steel lance
What is this, I don't even...

>Here you will find a wide assortment of weapons
>33 weapons in all
I can name more polearms than that

>>17064090

This is totally unrelated, but I would love to see you do that. No sarcasm, I can only think of like six off the top of my head.

>>17064250
Halberd
Glaive
Glaive-Guisarme
Halberd-Guisarme
Bardiche
Pike
Corseque
Naginata
Nagamaki
Guan Do
Lance
Voulge
Voulge-Guisarme
Guisarme
Trident
Ranseur
Partisan
War Scythe
Long Spear
Long Staff

That's off the top of my head. 21's not bad, but it I could actually look things up, I could get to 50 probably pretty easily.

>>17064337
Aahlspies
Yari
Sarissa
Fauchard
Lochabre Axe
(Arguably) Dane Axe
Rhomphia
Bill
There are so many more in my head and countless variations of these that pretty much all amount to "A spike blade and hook in some sort of constellation at the end of a stick"

>>17064250
Not that guy, but off the top of my head...
Naginata/Glaive
Halberd
Boarspear
Mancatcher
Warscythe
Tri/Bident/Military Fork
Bardiche
Sarissa
Longaxe/ Pole-axe
Hilariously Long-Handled Flail
Brandistock
Voulge
Bec De Corbin
Hook Bill
Ranseur

>>17064337
And, with a little help from wikipedia-

Ji
Woldo
Fauchard
Linstock
Sarissa
Falx
Rhomphaia
Kontos
Maul
Brogit staff
Jeddart staff
Lochaber axe
Sovnya
Bec de corbin
Lucerne hammer
Man catcher
Tsukubō
Sodegarami
Sasumata
Dangpa
Iklwa
Winged spear
Javelin
Hasta
Angon
Bill

Now how many of these are actually diffrent enough to warrant diffrent stats in a RPG?
I'd probably narrow it down to a stat for Lenght vs Versitility and then let features like Brace, Hooks and Pikes add "Usable from horseback", "Has trip/unmount" and "Is settable against charges" respectivly.

>>17064417
Unsurprisingly, D&D has most of these actually statted out in their various books, and most have identical stats.

However, they also have fantasy polearms, like Greatspears and giant steel Bubble wands and spears with chains at the end that connect to other spears with chains at their end attached to a baby.

>>17064337
>>17064375
>>17064381
>>17064409

/tg/, you are the wind beneath my wings

>>17056498

http://www.indie-rpgs.com/articles/9/

>>17064593
Perfects. Sums it up completely.

>>17064593

I don't know if this is the article that says it, but heartbreakers are an important step in becoming a designer.

Of course, that doesn't mean you should try to publish the damn thing.

>>17064619

I think its this one. There is a part II, though.
>This essay is about some 1990s games I'm calling "fantasy heartbreakers," which are truly impressive in terms of the drive, commitment, and personal joy that's evident in both their existence and in their details - yet they are also teeth-grindingly frustrating, in that, like their counterparts from the late 70s, they represent but a single creative step from their source: old-style D&D.

>>17064593

Haha oh wow.

>Finally, the last painful thing. Check out the self-perceived "innovations," like these listed on the back of Forge: Out of Chaos.
>Select proficiencies such as Final Blow, Field Repair, Assassination, Mounted Combat, and Blind Fighting! [AD&D2, late 80s] No more arbitrary experience points! The more you use a skill, the better you get! [RuneQuest, c. 1977] Realistic combat mechanics! Armor that can be destroyed! [The Fantasy Trip, 1980] Two separate defensive values! [(Sigh) Champions, 1980]

>>17064250

1.Halberd
2.Voulge
3.Partisan
4.Military Fork
5.War Scythe
6.Glaive
7.Spear
8.Bohemian Earspoon
9.Bill
10.Pike
11.Danish Axe
12.Poleaxe (but some says it's just a two handed weapon)
13.Ahlspiess
14.Corsesca
15.Bardiche
16.Quarterstaff (some may argue)
17.Lance
18.Boar Spear
19.Bec De Corbin
20.Naginata
21.Yari
22.Sword-Staff
23.Welsh-Bill
24.Saber-Halberd
25.Sponton
26.Scorpion
27.Runka
28.Lucern Hammer
29.Trident
30.Sarissa
31.Nagamaki
32.Guan Dao
33.Brandistock
34.Hungarian Axe

Of course I could say things like English Bill, Italian Bill, Billhook and stuff like that, but that wouldn't be fair.

That said, I'm bad at weapons terminology and for me most of these are just simply polearms.

>>17064593
It's funny, I've always seen D&D as my "heartbreaker".

someone explain to me how does the combat works in this shit. Also are there any weapon and armor statistics? I found their price but I can't found if they give you any bonuses or not

Xor was a cosmic mage who had reached 100 lv. and seeing his aging body begin to falter sought a
way to increase his life (he was actually looking for immortality). What he discovered was a way to
store his soul into a jewel (which he has hidden in a place NO ONE could find) and keep his body
(or I should say, what is left of his body) going with magic; thus becoming an undead mage!

Mor-ell was a 100 lv. illusionist who became a dragon mage with the only undead dragon (was a
shadow dragon until going through the same transformation that Xor did) in existence (this act
repulsed the dragons and the undead dragon is not allowed anywhere near the Dragon Isles). When
Mor-ell finally made it to the 5th level dragon mage, his soul went into the jewel that held the
dragon's soul.

Unknown to anyone, including his brothers, is the fact that Mor-ell is actually the one who runs the
Assassin's Guild for all of Atlantasia. Even though he is not an assassin himself (actually he has
never assassinated anyone) he was the one who started the guild and then disappeared into the
background.

Tass-mer was a 100 lv. necromancer who was bit by a noble vampire (Tass-mer eventually killed her)
and has become the true Prince of Vampires (as he has turned more into vampires than any 10
noble/prince vampires combined). Tass-mer is also the only brother that carries weapons (except
for Mor-ell's wands) which, over the rebirths, he has become quite proficient with <67%> (it helps
to have a vampire's strength when you are a mage). His favourite method of attack is to turn into
gaseous form and materialize right behind his victim where he thrusts his two blades into his
victim's back. While they are squirming on his blades he will ask them if they wish to become a
vampire (if they say no he just watches them die on his blades).

>>17065530
>>17065519
>>17065515

This is horrifyingly written.

>>17065582
It's like fapping with a cheese grater. Somehow interesting and funny but way more painful.

There are three brothers who have been around Atlantasia for an extremely long time. All of them
are UE and while they COULD run around killing everyone they run across, they generally just use
the races of Atlantasia for their own amusement. They always have a Shai-Elf mage with them that
they will use for a quick exit (or as a means to keep their tower in another dimension).
These brothers, designed for their amusement, created a tower and the elven mage put it into
another dimension. They use this tower to trap unsuspecting adventurers who must find their way
through the entire tower before being allowed to leave (see the appendix 1 Free Campaign).
Should anyone be foolish enough to try and battle these brothers, their demise would be inevitable
(it may just take a while as these brothers are very sadistic (especially Tass-mer).

Moulaan is THE king of demons; the biggest, baddest demon of them all. He appears to be a
noble/prince demon but much, much larger (he stands 75' tall). He also carries a mace that makes
noble/prince demon's maces look like toys as well as a gigantic flaming scythe.

>>17065515
>>17065519
>>17065530
>>17065592
I think my brain accidentally caught fire. This is some terrible shit.

>>17065515
Not even like 'oh you could find this jewel if you tried really hard'. Nope. You're never killing this DMPC.

Unicorn (costs you the life of one you love <players choice>)
Unicorns are beings of pure heart! They would never attack unless they were threatened (or those
endeared to the unicorn is being threatened). Because of this pureness of heart, any who kill a
unicorn (and good luck with that) will forfeit the life of one they love and the Deities will ensure this
will be done.
Unicorns have an excellent relationship with the Elemental Guardians as well as any of the beings
from the Fairie Realm. Should you kill a unicorn on the island of Xyla, you will be facing every Fairie
Being on the island with 2ss. While the Deities will take one the killer loves, the Fairie Beings will
take the killer's life.
147
Unicorns will give directions to anywhere you are going within the unicorn's forest if the question is
directed and asked with the respect the unicorn expects.

Shapeshifters are an interesting being from another dimension. While they are not a true lycanthrope
(lycanthropes can only take 1 other shape from their true form <the animal>), they act in similar
fashion. The fact is, shapeshifters can take whatever form they wish (as long as they have seen this
form). Their size, shape, and whatever else they wish you to see (and feel) is all up to the
shapeshifter (they are actually a liquid form).
Shapeshifters are extremely intelligent (17).
Shapeshifters will never harm anyone; they study other life forms! However, do not take this passive
demeanor as shapeshifters are soft! This would be a very painful lesson! Each shapeshifter has a
weapon they feel most comfortable with and they will turn their arms into whichever weapon they
wish. Shapeshifters are very quick as well (100'/ss) and will ALWAYS admit when they are defeated
in combat, then they will disappear around a corner and blend in with whatever is there.

So, like, do any of these characters not have a secret that is unknown to everyone including their super best friends which makes them invincible?

Noble/Prince Vampire 1500 E.P.s
Noble or prince vampires have learned another form to add to their repertoire of forms: gaseous
form. By this time, they have mastered the art of feeding and thus no one ever catches a
noble/prince vampire. If you have a meeting with one of these beings, it is because this vampire has
chosen to be there! These vampires gain +2 to all affected attributes.
Noble or prince vampires are the only vampires able to turn the living into the undead (turning you
into a vampire). Against myths, killing the noble or prince vampire will NOT kill all those the slain
vampire turned.

>7 Different Kinds of Elves
And of course the evil elves can be the most classes.

Meridian Lizard
It is absolutely FORBIDDEN to kill a meridian lizard. They are sacred to many as these creatures
follow the energy lines of Atlantasia.
If you are searching for the best spot to cast a spell; if you are searching for the perfect spot to set
up a temple; then look for one of these small lizards (about 6'' - 9'' long). The stripes down their
back will change color relating how powerful the energy line is.
Should anyone be caught killing a meridian lizard (and you WILL be caught), you would owe a quest
to the first Deity that shows up after the death of the lizard (usually 3 - 10ss).

>>17065752

>no one ever catches a noble/prince vampire.

>>17057346

>the biggest thing not known about Par-traxx (none of the Deities even know this) is that he is actually the avatar of the original creator of all the known universes and dimensions

but he can't catch or kill a Vampire Prince.

Stealth Spider 5 E.P.s
The stealth spider's poison is the most sought poison on Atlantasia! However, good luck ever
finding one!
Stealth spiders got their name because they are chameleon spiders; they can blend into any
background. Plus they are only about an inch across.
Two bites from a stealth spider and within 20ss your blood will literally begin to boil. This does a
double type of damage: fire and blood loss!

>>17065515
>Level 100 lich elf with a phylactery impossible to locate

>>17065519
>Level 100 dragon mage with a super-special undead dragon who secretly runs the assassins' guild without actually being an assassin

>>17065530
>Level 100 vampire necromancer prince

>>17065643
>Like a demon, only much much bigger, and he totally dual wields a mace that can level buildings and a burning scythe

This guy obviously can't write NNPCs. They reek of DMPC self-inserts with a touch of animu shenanigans. Especially the flaming scythe (seriously, does he not know a scythe is a two-handed weapon?) and the teleport backstab followed by a snarky comment.

>>17065715
>>17065725
>>17065752
>>17065779
So, am I allowed to kill anything at all in this setting? Because it sounds like everything fucks me over in one way or another, to the point where killing motherfucking squirrels will delevel me, unicorns will have EVERY GODDAMN FAE IN THE WORLD after me, and lizards apparently have some kind of tag that means I'm automatically found out and forced to become a god's bitch.

Who thought this was a good idea?

>>17065813

what are their anal circumferences?

>The Mantle of Justice is a blue and silver silk robe with small gold scales embroidered around the collar. Anyone who puts this robe on will gain the following:
>wearer automatically knows the intent of any the wearer targets;
>can see through any disguise (even magically induced);
>always knows the truth in any given situation;
>immediately goes blind (for justice is blind after all);


>can see through any disguise (even magically induced);
>immediately goes blind (for justice is blind after all);

THE FUCK?

guys, are you sure the pdf is the full stuff? I mean a fuckton things are missing, like how combat works, weapon statistics, what are the talents, common sense...

>>17065530
This is hands down the worst thing. The worst thing ever.

>>17065902
>how combat works

Ooh ooh I know that one! I actually found it yesterday, but I can't remember where.

There is like one whole paragraph that tells you the initiative order (it's just straight Dex or whatever he uses for Dex) and how to determine a hit. I'm not sure if there's any more though.

>>17065902
It's complete, just terrible edited.

>>17065922
Found it. Page 48.

There's some incomprehensible mess or charts after it and I think what is supposed to be more clarification about determining hits/damage. Fucked if I'll try to figure it out though.

>>17065927

then is there a difference between the mundane weapons?

>>17065941
>If the attack is a miss, the player rolls the % dice for a precision roll to determine how bad the miss
>is using the following formula:
>01 - 10%: player slips and hits them self (damage is at x3)

you hit yourself so hard that you more damage than your weapon capable of

>>17065962

>that you more damage

Yes.

>mfw between cycle 17 and 23 (are those days???) of the Season of Chaos, all spells have a 100% chance to backfire and cause X3 or X10 damage to the caster

>all the while the chaos dragons are flying around mating and causing 30% of the population to be sucked through rifts to other dimensions

Wow, I am loving this so much. You can just see how much he cares, how much he LOVES and CHERISHES every creature in his little world, how much has invested himself in them. Each one is a perfect, special snowflake, and he'll be DAMNED IF YOU ARE GOING TO MESS WITH HIS PERFECT VISION!!!

It is almost adorable. 18 years of life, of dedication, his magnum opus is complete. He has imparted a portion of his very SOUL to paper. It is terrible, just...16 year old girl slashfic writer terrible, but you can tell it was a labor of love. Every creature, every character sports some of the most painful, hilarious prose ever put to page, and it is all the better/worse because of how much he obviously cares about them. I'm happy for him. I really am.

>>17065980
How are wizards even ALIVE.

>>17065998

magic

Anyone looked at the random encounter tables? They basically all go like:

>1-10%: ladybug
>11-35%: fox
>36-50%: turtle
>51-60%: garter snake
>61-70%: barn owl
>71-80%: toad
>81-90%: kitten
>91-99%: sandwich
>100%: DRAGON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>17065833
ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! You are PRIVILEDGED to be allowed a brief glimpse into the perfection that is Atlansia! How dare you even THINK of harming one of these creatures of purest form and essence?!

You should thank the gods that you have been given the opportunity to look upon this world, and weep tears of joy if one of these super beings DEIGNS to show themselves and speak to you (as obviously they are so super awesome that you can only even meet them should they choose to show themselves).

>>17066006
Think of those immortal vampires. There's a 30% chance every year you get transported to other dimensions by fucking Chaos Dragons. They are the statistical outliers by a huge margin.

>>17065998
How is there even a civilization? Assuming the Season of Chaos comes once a year, and each year roughly corresponds to one of our years, this means that for 4 days a year, 30% of civilization just disappears.

You'd think this would either mean civilization would collapse entirely, or everyone would gang up on those fucking dragons and exterminate them. Though from what I've heard of this setting, I assume killing one would summon a level 100 Dragon Guardian dual-wielding mithrilgold (like mithril, only gold instead of silver, so it's better) gunblades and using rainbow crystal magic.

>The next steps are to get the book into game stores in southern Alberta, and then onto the shelves in the large bookstores, he said.

>Holland plans to auction a signed first edition, complete with documentation and a case, on eBay sometime in December.

>He also wants to set up a game night at his Vulcan residence.

That last part is the saddest part of OP's news article link.

>Comments Section:
>So I have a question.Dolphins have a high enough Int score to learn 7 languages. Are you aware that this may break the game, as PCs may simply hire a Dolphin to act as a translator for them?
Bighifive.jpg

>>17066011
That is the best random encounter table I have ever seen. 99% chance of no encounter, and 1% chance of a dozen exclamation points. I know he probably thought the sandwich was the humorous part, but I find the turtle and barn own to be hilarious.

> Ready your weapons, companions, the turtle is upon us!!!

>>17066025

vampire princes can be found by chaos dragons only if the vampire wants to be found

>>17066044

But it is FORBIDDEN to kill a turtle! You fool, you will bring the wrath of the first god to appear (within 1d8+2 ss) upon us!

>>17066027
If you attack a Chaos dragon, the spell rebounds on you x100.

>>17066035
:( while it was obvious he has no friends and has never been in a game, seeing it there in print is the saddest thing I've seen today.

> he hopes to start a game night...
> if you write it, they will come.
> oh please, let them come.
> please...

>>17066027
>everyone would gang up on those fucking dragons and exterminate them

Just don't bring any spellcasters along:

>Spells: any spell cast at a chaos dragon is absorbed and thrown back at the caster at x 100. Plus, any spell cast at a chaos dragon and the dragon will automatically know that spell (mage or priesthood).

Just 100x? Why not 1,000,000x? Or one zillion trillion million times back with no reverse backsies!?

>>17066058

no turtles are not forbidden. They just give you negative XP

>>17066011
Beware of the sandwich.

>>17066070

>>17066061

cast invincibility on chaos dragon. now you have invincibility x100 on yourself

I wonder if eating the sandwich will also give you negative xp?

>>17066066
He has been in a game night, he's been playing this setting with his wife and friends. The different devs are his group members, I imagine.

>>17066070
>negative XP
What is... this... faggotry?

>>17066101
Huh. Then why does he hope to start one if he already has one?

If his writing is any indication of how he runs things it must be painful. Every other entry in the book has a DM fiat, how must he be in actual games? Or maybe he is just worried that other DMs will run it wrong.

>>17066058
>turtle kills magic ley line lizard
>angry lizard god shows up to avenge lizard, kills turtle
>angry turtle god shows up to avenge turtle
>infinite loop of vengeance

Oh the humanity! When will we ever learn!

>>17066111
I read it like an in-store game night. Like 'all the people that like my awesome game, come play it with me at X'.

>>17066106
Didn't you see? You lose 4 xp every time you kill a squirrel because such and such god loves them so much.

>>17066115
I would just armour myself in ley line lizards. Come at me, dragons.

>>17066111

I assume that he is not that bad at game writing, there must be a logical reason for all of this. Like he is a pedophile or something and he want's little kids to come to his house.
That would be a better alternative

>>17066027

Apparently there are 5 seasons per rebirth (year). 4 out of the 5 are the traditional elements, and last 80 cycles. Then there's the Chaos season which lasts 40 cycles.

>Chaos
>operates on a fixed timetable

a semi-segment (ss) is a round of engagement (combat?). 10 ss = one segment. 20 segments = 1 cycle.

depending how long a round of combat is, that might be an extremely short year.

>>17066070
That would be the most diabolical and evil thing for a DM to do to a party...

>Oh you guys killed the turtle? Negative 210 xp. Aaaaand... that's just enough for you to lose a level.
>I'm sorry Frank, but you don't have that feat anymore.

>>17066123
And then when the Lizard God casts explosion on the dragon, he dies. Good job breaking the pantheon, PC.

>>17066140
All that's left is me in my lizard armour and that all powerful guy. And he can't kill anything (even though he can scatter their atoms and only 1% of people he does this to survive the process, that's apparently not killing them).

Someone on /tg/ must be in the Alberta area of Canadaland.

Whoever you are, you know what you must do. The Gods command it.

>Table 6* (1d12)

>two pages of potion descriptions

>* Note: all these potions are only sold by the person who developed the recipe and NONE OF
THEM WORK!!!!

>>17066134

maybe 1ss is 1,825 IRL days

>>17066134
>that might be an extremely short year.

You know what would also make it short? Horny Chaos Dragons fucking each other in a trans dimensional orgy though your house!

>>17066175

oh wait, no. cycles are days not years.
Then 1 ss is 0,12 hours so 7,2 minutes

So if you kill a unicorn, the gods kill your loved ones as punishment. Never mind the ethical issues with that, what happens if your loved one is another unicorn?

>>17066150
This is my new character.

A wizard who refuses to kill anything and insists he is a pacifist, because his spells aren't *always* fatal.

We can break this.

Then we can kick reason to the curb, do the impossible, kill the unkillable, ROW ROW MAKE A GROWN MAN CRY.

>>17066085
Cast fireball at a dragon while surrounded by squirrels and lizards.
Dragon takes huge amount of negative XP and is punished by the gods

>>17066203
That's some pretty fucking slow combat.

Are all participants having tea breaks in between gentlemanly duels?

>>17066218
It's not even hard to break this. I'm gonna strut around in my lizard armour throwing squirrels and turtles at vampires and dragons.

>>17066161

do it slowly and painfully. Also, pics or it didn't happened

>>17066204
The first time a unicorn kills another unicorn, the whole race insta-wipes.

>Bearcat

>Think of a wolverine on a cat's body about 2'-3' long and you have a Bearcat.

Well. That is not what I was thinking when I read the word "Bearcat".

>>17066240
Bearcats? What gods protect these? Are they playable?

>>17066225

you still can't meet the powerful vampires.

>>17066231
They can pick which loved one dies, so they'll just use some virgin as a scapegoat.

Everyone knows unicorns love virgins, right?

>>17066204
Kill a unicorn. Declare you love a god.
Continue until all the gods are dead

>>17066204
Presuming that unicorn loves you back, I'd assume you either double-die, or the god has to kill himself for killing a unicorn.

To be honest, the goddamn setting makes no fucking sense at all.

>>17066248
I more like the CHAMELEON SPIDER! thing.

>>17066255
what if you are an emo kid who hunts unicorns? And you don't love anyone.

>>17066248

they seem to be a random wildlife encounter. I'm not sure if the 120 EPs are gained or lost by killing them.

and in my mind, experience is measured in a recorded music format (longer than a single, shorter than an album. usually 4-8 songs)

I'm trying to imagine the creative process behind this game. Did this guy play one game of AD&D in 1993, decide "I can do better," then lock himself away for 18 years?

>>17066270
You gain it unless there's a minus sign, I think.

>>17066240
So it's a wolverine riding a cat corpse like a skateboard? That's a really weird monster concept.

>>17066240
But I'm now picturing a cat with a head that is an entire wolverine. Or just wolverines riding cats

>>17066276

>kill a Bearcat
>gain 120 E.P.s

oh fuck at least two dozen of these are the Flaming Lips' Fight Test EP. :/

>>17066283
>>17066286

Now I'm thinking of Wolverine riding a 2-3 foot long cat. Which is still not what the word Bearcat made me think of in the first place but is certainly more entertaining.

>>17066270
I love the fact the bearcat can apparently bite and attack with all four paws in a single turn. So apparently bearcats fight by flailing spastically with all four limbs simultaneously while biting their prey.

>>17066298

So if you kill a bearcat you can kill 24 squirrels

>>17066322
If one turn is indeed 7,2 minutes long than it makes sense

>>17066322
Perhaps they roll on their back so they can grab and bite you if you try and scratch their belly? It's what my friend's cat does to me, but doesn't actually sound very threatening

>>17066322
They pounce on their prey, I guess?

>>17066265
I would presume "yourself" if for some reason someone incapable of love were to kill a unicorn, but I have no fucking clue what the dumbass author would rule, so who the fuck knows

>>17066331
But in that case, why the fuck can it only use each attack once? Are bearcats really that slow? I wouldn't exactly be scared of a wolverine riding a cat that can bite me once every 7 minutes.

Then again, it kind of makes sense. Must be hard for the cat to move with an entire goddamn wolverine riding it.

>>17066270
You know, this statblock implies that the creature uses all four of it's limbs and it's jaws to attack you at once.

Which means it's only method of attack is launching itself at you directly perpendicular to the ground.

>>17066358
Maybe everyone moves super slow in this world.

>>17066328
You know, this begs the question of just what the fuck happens to hunters in this setting. If killing small animals draws the wrath of some faggy nature god, how the hell do they survive? Especially in a medieval-type setting, where hunting would be incredibly important to society in general.

>>17066376
Fucking Time Dragons. They mate in the Season of Time, making time move 30% slower.

>>17066358
cat's are lazy. And they generally doesn't give a single fuck about you. Deal with it.

>>17066378
The squirrel goddess doesn't mind if you kill a couple of squirrels to eat.

>>17066391
But they're supposed to have the temperament of a wolverine. And if there's one thing wolverines are known for, it's ferocity.

>>17066413

you will starve to death if you can eat only a couple of squirrels

>>17066420

I thought he was a borderline alcoholic

>>17066413
But it wouldn't be a couple. It would be a lot. You'd need lots of fur for the winter, feed more people than just yourself, and so on. The hunters would need to supply a lot of people with meat and fur. Of course, I guess they could just leave squirrels alone, but it sounds like you're not allowed to kill any small animals, which would cause issues. Or force hunters to group up and go after actually dangerous animals.

You know, this could be somewhat interesting if the author had thought about the ramifications of his retarded goddamn design decisions.

>>17066435
He's also prone to going off the handle and decapitating motherfuckers. He once let the Hulk eat him so he could stab him to death from the inside.

>>17066425
You could hunt crabs, thus gaining XP. However, only magic can them.
Does that mean you can lure one in with some bait, then flail at it like a piñata till you hit it?

>>17066035

Is it wrong that I want to buy this? I gotta be able to cop at least a minor charge off of just owning this.

>>17066462

I've got an idea. What if we actually repair this whole system?

>>17066494
>Unknown Armies reference in a shit game thread
I don't know whether to high five you or slap you in the face.

>>17066494
If you buy the book, HE wins.

>>17066510
You might be able to repair the mechanics, because those are merely awful.

It's when you get to the fluff that shit starts becoming bugfuck insane and unreadable. My advice? Cleanse it with fire, start again.

>>17066539

I don't care about the mechanics, I want to repair the fluff

>>17066510
I don't know if we could fix it, but at the very least, making people behave realistically in the face of all this retardation could at least be fun in a "breaking the poor creator's vision" sense.

For example, people ganging up and killing Chaos Dragons wherever they find them, smashing their eggs and doing their best to get rid of them. Vengeful people tricking their enemies into killing unicorns. Leyline lizards being used as protective measures.

>>17066547
All the major NPCs are SPESHUL GARY SUE SNOWFLAKES WHO ARE ALL POWERFUL AND HAVE ONLY ONE WEAKNESS THAT NO ONE KNOWS.

All of them also seem to have the "only affected when they want to be" quality. I'd like to see you try to fix that.

>>17066510
Just play it straight. Civilised races are cowering vegetarians who fear and resent the cruel gods and the random dragons. Development is slow as every industry needs to have a third more workforce than necessary, just in case a dragon snatches some away. People run in fear of invincible crabs that are about 7 inches across. People tend to think hard about taking action, because once committed, you can't change what you're doing for at least 7 minutes

>>17066563

>Leyline lizards being used as protective measures.

In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millenium, the hide of a ferocious lizard worn as a cape is high fashion.

In The Realms Of Atlantasia, you just wear the damn lizard.

>>17066578
Why am I laughing so hard at this?

>>17066578
I think I could play at least one game session in this sort of mindset.

Apparently "Saringetti" is a type of environment, not a specific location. 80% chance of encounter in the day, 40% at night. (everything is either 80 or 40 in Atlantasia, apparently)

Encounter types include rhinos, elephants, hyenas, cheetahs, asps, lions, GIANT INSECTS, antelopes, giraffes, hippos, watter buffalo (oh fuck), hunting parties, gorillas, DRAGONS, and rogues.

>>17066578
If the crabs are invincible but not threatening we should make shields out of them or something. Or build houses.

>>17066628
>all animals except rogues
Ah yes, the wild rogues that roam the Savannah, looking for gold.

>>17066628

Dungeons and Ruins have a 55% chance of encounter.

You are more likely to encounter something in a specific desert than in a dungeon, where the encounter table includes skeletons, ghosts, ghouls, vampires, demons, slimes, various other shit and DRAGONS. You know, the kind of creatures that populate a fucking dungeon.

>>17066602
Glad it amused. It just seems to be the logical conclusions from a world full of arbitrary magical punishment for anyone doing anything

>>17066578
Actually imagining this world is giving me the best laugh I've had in a while.

"Mommy I did a bad."
"What did you do Bobby?"
"I killed a lizard"
"OH GODS NO NOT MY BABY!!!!"
*angry god appears 3ss's later and flattens the child with his 48' long mallet*
*also accidentally a unicorn in the process*
*god war ensues, meanwhile sobbing mother is left by herself, starving because all the crops are flattened and she can't kill anything in the woods without dying of XP loss*

>>17066670

>without dying of XP loss

>without dying because she ran out of copies of Nine Inch Nails' "Broken"

FTFY

>>17066633
They're like 7 inches across. You could build chainmail armour out of rock crabs and be all but fucking invincible.

Worn beneath your cloak of lizards, obviously.

>>17066681
Crabman and Lizardcloak, the heroes this world deserves.

>>17064090
>i can name more polearms than that.

Ditto, Hell, i can practically do it in a motivational poster...

>>17066679
The idea of your power and level being defined by your record collection is hilarious. Kings would spend their time scouring music stores for vintage vinyl.
I wonder if your class would effect what genre of music you need? Heavy metal warriors, jazz wizards...

>>17066681
I want to see this as some sort of gladiatorial fight.

Two guys in crab armor swinging at each other with giant versions of those things you use to open crab legs.

>>17066713

but only EPs. not full-length LPs, and not, say, a 12" single.

>>17066716
They would need to be magical.

Because according to the rules, you basically need a legendary magical weapon to be able to harm a 7 inch rock crab.

I wish I was joking. A civilian could swing at a crab for days and he wouldn't even scratch the thing.

>>17066732
I don't know, it's stat block looks like only magical weapons can reliably hit it. Anything else has a 96% miss chance, with the accompanying chance to hit yourself three times harder than you were swinging it

>>17066726
If you lose all your LPs you bleed to death.
>burglar-assassins break into homes and steal people's music collection

>>17066755
So Crabman Lizardcloak can quite literally defeat armies by standing still and letting them hit him.

>>17066761
Also, if they did hit him, the lizards would die and gods would avenge them.

>>17066732

But he could cover them in cement and make bitching houses out of them.

>>17066755
>>17066732
Well, the point wouldn't be to hurt the crabs, it'd be to hit the unprotected areas. The damage reflection would make it a true gladiatorial challenge.
T

>>17066783
What happens if you cause a lizard to die but don't actually kill one?
As in, you see a starving lizard and don't feed it, and it then starves to death.

What's the theological retribution for lizard manslaughter?

>>17066761
Seems that way. Defence of 96%. 10% of missed attacks lead to you apparently cutting your own head off.
You've got a better chance of killing yourself than the crab

>>17066761
Exactly.

And if he waits for days 17-23 of the Season of Chaos, all the mages will self destruct if they try to hurt him. He could conquer entire cities without lifting a finger, assuming he isn't randomly teleported to Bruges by a pair of copulating chaos dragons while en route.

>>17066798

The gods won't kill you, but the same can't be said of a Dire Squirrel.

You know, it's really too bad. While most of the game is shit, a few ideas are kind of cool. I actually like the leyline lizards, though of course he went full retard with the idea. If he'd left it at them being naturally drawn toward leylines, they would simply be immensely useful and probably venerated by a lot of people. But by involving the gods infallibly hunting down anyone that fucks with them, you ruin it. Had you left it alone, you could actually build on the idea. Lizards are worth millions on the black market, but of course being discovered smuggling one is an instant death sentence. So you have this super exclusive black market item that requires thorough checks just to make sure the guy who sees it won't kill you on the spot for fucking around with one of the greatest natural resources in existence.

>>17066805

detective work in this world would be remarkably easy.

>Constable! We've found a dead body! With a severed head!
>A severed head, you say? Why, he was clearly attempting to murder a crab. Case closed.

>>17056498
...

>Dimensional Guard (cast time: 3ss) (magic cost: 42)

>This spell allows the mage to call a random dimensional beast (see Dimensional Quarry) to stand guard for the following duration:

>lv. 50 - 99: 1 cycle

>lv. 100: until released

>*Note: this guard will not fight in combat situations

>Guard.

>Will not fight.

So... it's not really a "guard" so much as it is a "watcher". a "voyeur" if you will. I mean, if a Guard won't fight to defend what they are guarding, then it's not really a Guard at all. Just a thing, standing around waiting.

>>17066826
You could murder someone by starting a fight and being good at dodging

>>17066844
It's the mall cop of the summon world. It stands around telling you to stop it, but can't really do anything.

>>17066844
I suppose it depends on your definition of 'combat situation'.
Maybe it only attacks people who can't fight back

>>17066877
Maybe it stands there and attracts attention until people attack it and cut their own heads off.

>>17066761

if they miss you there is a 35% chance that they will hit themselves

>>17066877
I am now imagining a summoned monster that will run up behind people and smack them over the head with a folding chair, only to run away screaming if they survive.

>>17066891
It doesn't apply to ranged weapons does it?

>>17057335
>Browse the site
>White on light blue.
>I've seen worse
>Turn on JavaScript
It's not a link btw

Is it sad or terrible that I'm thinking of getting Chainmaill Mud-Crab armor and Leyline Lizard cloak from this universe to use in TG/Meta quest?

>>17066907
>Fuck, I nocked my bow so hard I accidentally shot myself in the gut!

>>17066907
>miss shot with crossbow
>bolt loops around the world
>embeds itself in your spine

>>17066920
DO IT.

>>17066923
>>17066935
That's another thing. Almost everyone in this world would be a pacifist, because a third of all misses would end up hurting themselves. I mean, can you imagine having an entire contingent of say, 300 archers, of which a hundred miss? Congratulations, 10% of your archers have now killed themselves.

>>17066907

There are no specific rules for ranged weapons. So yes it does.

>>17066961
Oh wow.

>A single mudcrab attacks a village
>"Summon the guard!"
>1000 men against a single crab
>333 men kill themselves

>>17056413
I don't believe I even know of a system that doesn't have multiple types of magic users, maybe shadowrun?

>>17067007
Phys adepts, vodoo priests, druids, technomancers, and so on and so on.

>>17067007
Shadowrun has huge differences between the types of magic available. The difference between Mages and Adepts for one thing

Come on, don't let it die

The first thing to look at for the defense calculation is the player's (or N.P.C.'s) defense percentage.
If a player's defense % is less than the attacker's to hit %, follow the following chart*:
01 - 15%: steps into attack (damage is x3; armor takes 2d20 off durability)
16 - 35%: block is late (damage is x2; armor takes 1d20 off durability)
36 - 55%: block is late (damage is x1; armor takes 1d10 off durability)
56 - 80%: armor is hit (damage is x1/2; armor takes 1d8 off durability)
81 - 90%: armor is hit (damage is x1/2; armor takes 1d6 off durability)
91 - 99%: attack glances off armor (damage is x1/4; armor takes 1d4 off durability)
100%: attack misses altogether

>>17066713
> The idea of your power and level being defined by your record collection is hilarious. Kings would spend their time scouring music stores for vintage vinyl.I wonder if your class would effect what genre of music you need? Heavy metal warriors, jazz wizards...

Did we just create a really awesome concept for a proto-homebrew system? (And would most kings and noblemen be hipster douchebags?)

>>17067228
/tg/ has made or tried to make this system about eight times now.

>>17066798
>What's the theological retribution for lizard manslaughter?
That this is an actual serious question that can be asked of the system redeems it totally in my eyes. Shit's hilarious. My guess:
1-49%: You die
50-99%: You live
100%: Dragon

>>17066875
Got to this point before actual tears of laughter started running down my face.

>>17067218
I have no idea how to make sense of that. The attack is rolled, compared to the defence, and if it hits you roll again to see how well you hit? And there is a chance that you miss after you've already hit?

So if I cast a healing spell at a chaos dragon while I'm at -HP what happens?

>>17066920
It's awesome. Crabman Lizardcloak can be the one good thing to come from this. Recruit him. He'll be like the fucking terminator. Inexorable. Indestructible. He approaches, and you run or you die.

>>17067277
You hit him, you die. You miss him, you probably die, you run away, his cowardly dimension beast garrottes you while you aren't looking. Then a wild rogue appears

I have to be honest, I'm actually considering buying this because it's $3.99 and it has easily given me $3.99 worth of laughter.

>>17067274

Just roll on the table:

1-40%: You are healed 100x your spell
41-49%: Your head implodes
50-51%: Your head explodes
52-75%: Barn owl
76-99%: That one creator dude appears and jacks off in your face
100%: You summon another dragon, made entirely of dragons

>>17067274

you get healed 100 times

>>17067298
Oh god stop it. I can't breathe.

We need a drawfag to depict Crabman Lizardcloak.

>>17067305
>52-75%: Barn owl
I think you mean 'Roll on the Owl Animal Familiar table'.

>>17067316
I can't see him as anything other than badass. Like he's the one guy who realised how fucked up the world was so he exploited its rules and now he just goes around fucking everything up for being so retarded.

>>17067298
>Then a wild rogue appears
I lost it.

>>17056372
That image sure looks familiar...

>>17067392

source? maybe we can blackmail him because of the copyright issues.
We want more dragons in this thing

>>17067403
I don't know, dude on RPG net pointed it out.

Oh, it may really be a parody. The phone number is apparently the number of a dental office.

Allright. That's quite enough.

I have the PDF, I will now attempt to make a character.

... or I would, but I have microsoft office 2003, and all the character sheets are in .DOCX filetype, instead of a nice, .pdf like the rest of the damn thing.

Okay, I've gotta get a codec.

>>17067467
>nice
>pdf

>>17067480
It's better than a character sheet which is eight separate one-page Word Documents.

Is it okay if I feel sorry for for this guy?

>>17067495
Not if he's just trolling. Yes if this really is a Fantasy Heartbreaker.

The Assassin's Guild is run by an unknown leader (like all the rest of the Guilds are) who no one is
sure they have ever met. This leader has messengers that relay information to either random seeming
people or drop boxes. This keeps the leader informed about each Guild House. These Guild
522
Houses, which can be found in every city, is run by a Guild Master who has 3-12 advisors/body
guards around them at all time. The Guild House itself is usually the house of the Guild Master
themself (though most times is under an assumed name and could never be linked back to the Guild
Master).

Unlike other Guild Houses, Spy Guild houses do not have a common area; as the Guild Master is
the one who wants to determine what information is spread and by whom. So, if there is no place
for the other spies to gather, then there is no place for information to "accidently" be passed on.

rolled 10, 9, 3, 9, 10, 6, 1, 7, 1, 6, 1, 10, 5, 5, 10, 3, 7, 6 = 109

>>17067467
Right! I downloaded a .docx converter!

I'm making a character now.

Step 1: roll 3d10 for each outer attribute, take the highest for each.

rolled 3 = 3

>>17067857
>rolled 10, 9, 3,

Str: 10,

> 9, 10, 6,

Int: 10

>1, 7, 1,

Wis: 7

>6, 1, 10,

Dex 10

>5, 5, 10

Cha: 10

> 3, 7, 6

PStr: 7

So, apparently, I'm awesome. There's 4 races, i'll roll a d4 to determine.

Attach leylizards to the soft underbelly of a crab.

Attack the gods.

Also, why is "a wild rogue appears" funny to people?

rolled 2, 10, 3, 9, 5, 8, 10, 1, 2, 2, 2, 7 = 61

>>17067883
Dwarf! But i forgot to roll for Inner attributes. so rolling for those now: roll 2d10 and take the higher.

>>17067903
>>17067883
>>17067857

godspeed anon, may the leylizard be with you

>>17067857
>>17067883
>>17067903
Yo, dude, stop. Make a new thread. This one is en route to page 16.

rolled 4 = 4

>>17067903

>rolled 2, 10,
Con 10

> 3, 9,
Mental Quickness: 9

> 5, 8,
Retention: 8

> 10, 1,
Agility: 10

> 2, 2,
Magnetisim: 2

> 2, 7
Psy Defense: 7

Okay, apparently I am a Tough motherfucking dwarf, I mean, look at that, how many 10s did I get?

Dwarves get a bunch of adjustments: so, when that's all done, I've got


Str: 12, Con: 12
Int: 10, MQu: 9
Wis: 7, Ret: 8
Dex: 9, Agi: 8
Cha: 8, Mag: 2
PStr: 7, PDef: 8

So, dwarves only have 4 classes available (Warrior, Priesthood, Assassin, Spy. Next roll is for class.

rolled 3 = 3

>>17067934
It's cool, it's archived. Anyhow, Looks like i'm a spah. I'm sure i'll enjoy sapping some sentries.

Spies get adjustments too.... and applied.

Str: 11, Con: 11
Int: 12, MQu: 9
Wis: 8, Ret: 8
Dex: 10, Agi: 8
Cha: 8, Mag: 1
PStr: 6, PDef: 8

Anywho, because my Stats are high, I get +2 damage, +3 to each LP die, +4 languages, +25% on learning rolls, +10% diplomatic rolls, +1 to spell rolls, +25% reaction rolls, +10% pickpocket rolls, +20% to charm rolls, x2 Spell damage, and +10% to spell save rolls! Do any of these things mean anythign to me? Not yet! But i do smell page 16 oncoming, let us move on to a new thread!