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  • File : 1322592718.gif-(118 KB, 330x440, sku-000500196.gif)
    118 KB Realms of Atlantasia Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)13:51 No.17056372  
    A news story passed onto me about an RPG finished that took 18 years!


    I went to the terrible website, and was flabbergasted by the sure...insanity of it all.


    So I spent money, and uploaded the .7z of the game and the character sheets (8 pages of it)


    No art, full of tables and charts, odd spellings, and not to mention "realism". This game could very well be the next Synibaar or Cyborg Commando.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)13:56 No.17056413
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    >"Something else that no one RPG game has done, and this is my pride and glory, is the magic using class," he said. "Every other game it's all generic, it doesn't matter kind of priest you are, what temple you worship, you get all the same spells. It doesn't matter what kind of mage you are, you get all the same spells.

    >"In this world, there are eight different temples, there are eight different schools of magic. Each one of them has their own spells."
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)13:57 No.17056422
    Loads of games have done that, though.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)13:59 No.17056430
    In the words of that guy from Observe and Report, "I thought this would be funny but it's just sad."
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)14:01 No.17056448
    >Holland wants to give them "a taste of what's to come," and what's to come, he says, is realism.
    >He's marketing the game as the most realistic fantasy based role-playing game (RPG) on the market.
    >In his game, called The Realms of Atlantasia, realism means bows are less useful in the rain, armour rusts and horses die if not cared for.
    >"Your weapons and your armour take damage in battle," he said. "You've got to get them repaired."
    >"As realistic as I can get in a fantasy-based world, we have added it in this," he said.
    >Like in real life, players won't find the same stores everywhere they go, and similar stores don't have the same prices and merchandise, he said.
    >And players have to make sure characters practise their skills or their characters won't develop as quickly as they could, said Holland.
    >"It's part of the realism," he said.
    >Holland has introduced exchange rates into his game, something he says no other role-playing game has done before.

    >There are 900 spells in the game, and there are many more to come, he said.
    >Out of the 52 monsters introduced in the game, 44 of them nobody has ever seen before, he said.
    >Holland has many supplementary books he wants to publish to give his game a more "3D like experience."
    >The supplementary materials include a dictionary for each of the languages he's come up with, atlases, and books on potions and poisons.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)14:02 No.17056457
    Props to him for selling the PDF for that though. Even if the game is apparently a terrible messy clusterfuck.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)14:04 No.17056467
    Even D&D, which this guy apparently hates, has domains for clerics and 8 schools of magic which wizards can specialize in. When you add in things like alignment restrictions, class restrictions, even race restrictions, what kind of priest/mage you are has a significant impact on what spells you have access to.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)14:05 No.17056474
    I just started reading it. The attention to the use of language applied in the introduction is marginally less than the average proofreading I give a post on /tg/.

    And one time here I posted 'money' instead of 'funny'.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)14:08 No.17056498
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    Seriously this hasn't been proofread at all.

    /tg/ will probably rage at this guy's attitude to elves.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)14:09 No.17056508
    >Gypsy is a class
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)14:12 No.17056545

    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)14:14 No.17056568
    This is a parody right?
    You're all playing along, aren't you?
    The website gives it away, if not the descriptions of the game.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)14:17 No.17056594
    Read the game. There's no way this is a parody.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)14:34 No.17056692
    Suddenly I feel significantly better about my own works.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)14:38 No.17056726
    You know that project everyone on /tg/ started once we thought we could "do better than that stupid D&D game"? This is it. Only without the point where we stopped.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)14:40 No.17056743
    I finished 3, and none of them were quite as bad as this.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)14:42 No.17056755
    Well, it's shorter than FATAL.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)14:43 No.17056756
    >18 years in development

    Why does it seem like it was written by a 17-year old?
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)14:45 No.17056773
    Maybe development was passed on from father to son.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)14:49 No.17056799
    probably because it was written by a 13-year old, then published by himself 18 years later.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)14:54 No.17056827
    >On Atlantasia you will NEVER find a half-breed elf (if a female elf was ever raped by another race she would commit suicide).

    My god. This just smacks of terribad.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)14:55 No.17056838
    Goddamn it, at least when I look back at the stuff I worked on in my teenage years I have the good sense to cringe and file it away somewhere where it will never again see the light of day.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)15:01 No.17056875
    >* this poison makes you dizzy and collapse asleep within 10ss
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)15:03 No.17056887
    fuck yes
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)15:06 No.17056916
    >It is because of chaos dragons that the Season of Chaos exists. This is the time chaos dragons mate.
    During this time, male chaos dragons take the females on a mating dance that takes through every
    dimension they can (some people actually get caught up in these dances and get deposited on some
    other dimension <30% chance someone in the group will be caught>).

    "Ah shit, I got caught up in an interdimensional dragon orgy and now I'm stuck in Hoboken."
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)15:15 No.17057004
    If it's a <30% that someone in the group is deposited in another dimension, doesn't that mean that a sizeable percentage of all living beings get dumped in other dimensions every year? Wouldn't that prevent any stable civilization from ever getting started?
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)15:19 No.17057024
    Ok, the guy needs someone to clean his shit up. I can forgive that. Detail to Elves? Meh.

    Magic? "Guild" classes? Fighting classes?

    Is this Basic D&D?

    Do we know anything about this guy, aside from the fact he spent 18 years making this? Any playtesters?
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)15:19 No.17057025

    K so, against my better judgement I'm going to go ahead and say that isn't the most awful idea I've ever heard. Infact, it would be useful.

    And it would definitely make the party WTF
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)15:22 No.17057048
    >Dat map

    Is that Crayola marker I smell? Holy shit, it's 7th grade all over again.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)15:27 No.17057080
    Has anyone looked at the character sheets yet?

    I think the most charitable word I can use to describe them is "inefficient". An entire half page devoted to your Shoulder Bag (full pouch). No lines, no columns. Just the words "Shoulder Bag (full pouch)" and a half of page of whitespace.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)15:36 No.17057147
    >Squirrel -5 E.P.s*

    >Many a well laid trap has been foiled by a group of squirrels chattering in the branches above your ambush!

    >And while they may be pesky, annoying little rodents, they are prized by the goddess Dannuih and therefore anyone who kills one of these creatures loses five experience points (unless one or two are killed for food, the goddess gives the world this).

    Be very careful of wonton squirrel slaughter in the magical realms of Atlantasia!
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)15:37 No.17057149
    >Gnomes are always trying to learn what dwarves know and therefore will try to latch on to a dwarf
    (which usually drives the dwarf crazy).

    Oh those zany gnomes, I love their hijinks.
    This really does reek of terrible.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)15:42 No.17057198
    I was starting to feel a little bad about trashing the kid's work, bad though it is. But then I read his snotty comment about other rpgs being passe and too generic and felt better about putting this terrible pile of terrible terribleness down.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)15:44 No.17057216
    What the fuck is a rebirth?

    Everything is reborn when it died, or did they just rename years for no real reason?

    Also - stat blocks are atrocious:

    Rock Crab 21 E.P.s

    This is a crab 1' - 2' around that will look like a rock on a beach (unless you look underneath the
    crab where it hides its claws (the right claw is much larger than the left). Very little can break
    through its shell so the rock crab takes a more defensive posture than that of the aggressor.

    Attacks: 2/ss (both claws)

    To Hit: 42% for the right claw
    53% for the left claw

    Defense: 96% (basically, only magical weapons can hit a rock crab)

    L.P.s: 45 - 85

    Physical Attacks: right claw: 2d20
    left claw: 1d20 + 3
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)15:46 No.17057229
    >Writing fantasy novel
    >Gets bored with D&D
    >Fuck D&D, I need to stop writing this novel and make my own RPG!

    If I've learn anything from experience with people's "fantasy novels" being turned into settings, it's that it shouldn't happen. Whatever logical jump he made rustles my jimmies.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)15:47 No.17057236
    > Dragons are the ultimate being on Atlantasia and any should think several times before seeking out
    an encounter with one of these amazing creatures. If you are caught out in the open when a dragon
    is hunting, the best course of action is to find somewhere out of the dragon's sight and hole up!
    All dragons have an intelligence of 12-16, psychic defense of 14-18 and a wisdom of 16 - 22. All dragon spells take 2ss to cast (except guardian spells which take 1ss). When dragons are in the
    act of spell casting, no one is able to disrupt this casting. All dragons have a hoard of magical things (except guardians). If you find their hoard (10 rolls on
    the treasure table) you will have to kill the dragon in order to collect the hoard.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)15:48 No.17057249
    >Also - stat blocks are atrocious

    Fucking columns, how do they work?!
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)15:53 No.17057290

    >This is a crab 1' - 2' around


    Sooo these crabs have a circumference of 1' - 2' that means a diameter of 3 to 7 inches. You know like the size of the average crab caught for food.

    Yet killing one nets you 26 more xp than a squirrel...

    Proof reading go!
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)15:53 No.17057294

    Also, there are attacks and abilities than run off of stats, yet it doesn't include monster stats as standard.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)15:56 No.17057309
    The actual section devoted to how to actually DO ANYTHING is miniscule, from what I've seen so far. It's all tables of stats and modifiers and god knows what.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)15:56 No.17057313
    >Atlantis + Asia

    That pretty much explains it.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)15:59 No.17057331
    The whole being different for differences sake does irritate me.

    L.P.s = HP
    E.P.s = xp
    Rebirths = years
    5 lv. = lvl./lv. 5
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)16:00 No.17057335
    Dear lord it's like this guy is stuck in 1995. Look at this page:
    Hover over the text and try to tell me that this guy is not stuck in the geocities era.
    >> Recapguy 11/29/11(Tue)16:00 No.17057338
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    >Gnomes magically steal things unintentionally
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)16:01 No.17057344
    Par-traxx is an enigma on Atlantasia. Here is what is known about him:
     he is a Moon Elf who became the first Dragon Mage (combined with the Demi-god Chaos
     he has been known to show up in many different looks and personas
    he lives in the Crystal Tower which is located in the Nor-Scand Mountains
     he is the idol of almost every Elven Mage
     he is 5' 1" tall and weighs 79 lbs.
     he is always seen with his familiar Terronis (a large black bird with red splotches in its wings)
     he is always seen with a black/gold staff that is 6' high
    That is what is known around Atlantasia by any who are able to read or have been to a bard's
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)16:01 No.17057346
    Here are the things no one knows about Par-traxx:
     his familiar is actually a 75' phoenix
     the staff he has with him is actually the relic The Staff of the Cosmos (which he keeps with
    him so no one can wield its tremendous powers <he knows what would happen if this staff
    were to end up in the wrong hands>)
     he was the one to teach the War Magi how to create their shield which absorbs energy and
    uses that energy to strengthen itself
     he knows and can use ALL forms of magic
     the biggest thing not known about Par-traxx (none of the Deities even know this) is that he
    is actually the avatar of the original creator of all the known universes and dimensions
    Because of this last point, Par-traxx cannot be touched physically, mentally or magically.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)16:02 No.17057349
    confronted, Par-traxx will use the following tactics in order:
     he will first try to talk the antagonist out of the confrontation using a logical approach
     if that does not work, Par-traxx will unleash his familiar in its true form (he will cast a fireball
    in Terronis' direction)
     if they continue to press, he will alter his own form into that of his ancient Chaos Dragon
     if this fails (and the antagonist is angering Par-traxx), he will scatter their atoms across every
    known plane of existence and dimension, allow those atoms to retain all the knowledge of
    the plane of existence/dimension they were in. Then he pulls the atoms back together using
    the line "knowledge is power and all you seek is power so that is what I have given you;
    ultimate power". While Par-traxx cannot destroy anything or anybody (after all, he is THE
    creator), this has been known to kill any this happens to (there is 1 person who survived and
    now wanders Atlantasia babbling to himself as he attempts to organize all the information
    his mind holds now <you have a 1% chance of surviving this attack>)
    Par-traxx can be used to insert quests into a group (he is famous for this). He will either show up in
    your camp out of the blue (10% of the time) or be situated somewhere in any form you wish (he has
    probably used the form before so be creative; he is!) where the group will pass by him.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)16:03 No.17057359

    So, they're like kenders, but even more fucking annoying?
    >> Titanium Man 11/29/11(Tue)16:09 No.17057390
    >Holland wants to give them "a taste of what's to come," and what's to come, he says, is realism.
    >He's marketing the game as the most realistic fantasy based role-playing game (RPG) on the market.
    >In his game, called The Realms of Atlantasia, realism means bows are less useful in the rain, armour rusts and horses die if not cared for.
    >"Your weapons and your armour take damage in battle," he said. "You've got to get them repaired."
    >"As realistic as I can get in a fantasy-based world, we have added it in this," he said.
    >Like in real life, players won't find the same stores everywhere they go, and similar stores don't have the same prices and merchandise, he said.
    >And players have to make sure characters practise their skills or their characters won't develop as quickly as they could, said Holland.
    >"It's part of the realism," he said.
    >Holland has introduced exchange rates into his game, something he says no other role-playing game has done before.

    This reminds me of Sierra adventure games where you have to type out the most obvious things to do. Like if you were sitting down and wanted to move somewhere, you had to type "stand up". In real life it's automatic. But the problem when trying to introduct realism in a tabletop RPG is that you can't do it automatically like in real life, and so it creates paperwork. And honestly, nothing kills an escapist game for me like high maintenance.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)16:11 No.17057402
    >the biggest thing not known about Par-traxx (none of the Deities even know this) is that he is actually the avatar of the original creator of all the known universes and dimensions
    >Because of this last point, Par-traxx cannot be touched physically, mentally or magically.
    Well at least he's honest about it being a self-insert character.
    >> Recapguy 11/29/11(Tue)16:13 No.17057407
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    >Go to page
    >Woman who created the Gnomes
    >Hover over to click
    >Can't actually click
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)16:14 No.17057413

    O' Gary Stu
    O' Gary Stu
    Your plot is so tried and trueeeeeee...
    >> Recapguy 11/29/11(Tue)16:15 No.17057417
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    I don't even.
    They seem to be like... the EMBODIMENT of annoying.
    Why did they let that women create this. Why.
    I don't understand. Explain it to me.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)16:17 No.17057427
    This is my next background for any supernatural modern game. I'll read this book and use it shudder and describe the horrible world I came from.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)16:18 No.17057429
    >And honestly, nothing kills an escapist game for me like high maintenance.

    Why I couldn't get into GURPs, even though I know it's a pretty good system. It's way too fucking broad.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)16:18 No.17057431
    There are a lot of 'art wounds' of whitespace in the book too.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)16:19 No.17057432
    It's probably to prevent someone killing an abominably larger amount of squirrels to gain their experience and achieve ultimate power.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)16:19 No.17057436
    Yeah, I mean what is that about? It's incredibly unoriginal as a setting.

    >the kid
    He's married and he worked on this for 18 years.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)16:20 No.17057442
    Do it. I give you my support. Your group will most likely have good laugh, and that is probably the best thing this horrible game can create. Good laughs at how bad it is.
    >> Recapguy 11/29/11(Tue)16:21 No.17057445
    It only takes me a month at best to realize my ideas are shit and scrap them.
    I mean, I've got a problem with perseverance, but this guy took it to the polar opposite.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)16:24 No.17057457
    Do you think he ever stopped and wondered and though, "Shit. Am I really wasting my time on this piece of shit?"

    Actually nevermind. I fucking know he didn't. He probably had one moment of self-doubt about a week before Eragon hit the headlines and then it was CHOO CHOO PUBLISH THIS SHIT.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)16:51 No.17057618
    This makes me want to just go back, and start from the beginning of fantasy. Role-play in basically what everyone else sees as "generic" and "out-dated." Not DnD, no, the thing that inspired DnD, I'm talkin' Tolkien. Go back to the time when this shit was probably the most original fantasy created. At the time no one thought of Elves as this race of eternal warriors, smiths, and scholars. Shakespearean dialogue too, if my group could actually get into it, hell ya I'll run a game like that.

    And I'll run it with a Rules-Light system. Fuck all this complicated shit.
    >> absurd !!0swx5mltBxM 11/29/11(Tue)17:01 No.17057692
    >first page of text
    >this proiject.

    Oh wow.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)17:28 No.17057868

    He says he did in the interview, after finishing the spells.

    Took him THAT long.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)17:41 No.17057968
    FATAL's mechanics + Atlantasia's world = Creates a playable game.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)17:43 No.17057993
    Two wrongs don't make a right.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)17:45 No.17058015
    but three lefts do.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)17:57 No.17058114
    Wait a second here. Maybe I'm just a goddamn moron, so bear with me, but I still need to clarify this. He wanted to create an "original" fantasy setting, right? So he went with elves and dragons?
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)18:00 No.17058144

    Original content, do not steal.

    Yes. They were novels first, which he's still considering publishing from the looks of the site, as the "familiar characters" may come up in player's games. And such. He just stopped working on the novels to make this game for 18 years, though I doubt he really stopped working.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)18:23 No.17058345

    I'm actually under the impression we've grown so bitter and jaded with everything that a generic fantasy game has finally looped back around to being novel and interesting again.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)19:32 No.17058919
    God this is Elminster but worse
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)19:35 No.17058941

    Make that much, much worse. Like Luke the Plagueson of Nurgle compared to your average neckbeard.
    >> Titanium Man 11/29/11(Tue)19:42 No.17059006
    >that feel when I considered ripping off my own campaign to make a novel kinda like what Record of Lodoss War did
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)19:44 No.17059019

    On that train of thought, I kinda wish that rpg replays were more of a common thing outside of Japan.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)19:48 No.17059040
    Nothing wrong with that, if your group were awesome and you had an awesome campaign then go for it. It's doing the reverse like this chucklefuck that's bad.
    >> Titanium Man 11/29/11(Tue)19:50 No.17059062

    My Dresden game has seem to generate some interest here on /tg/. I ain't much of a writer (and sometimes I find fiction writing a chore) but would you read replays of that game? Or maybe my in-character journal I do?
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)19:53 No.17059086
    Kind of having the opposite problem. I have a pretty awesome ,actually fantastic, fantasy world but I can't think of a proper system for it since the players are mostly going to be traders, noblemen, and so on. Anything resembling a monster problem is likely going to be handled by an army of men with pointy sticks.
    >> absurd !!0swx5mltBxM 11/29/11(Tue)19:57 No.17059125
    Just found this gem.
    >Dolphins will never attack themselves (unless protecting their young) and dolphins have a very high intelligence (15).

    First, if you're trying to represent dolphins "realistically" as the case is with everything in this game, you need to make room for the fact that dolphins can be humongous assholes. They have been observed murdering for no discernible reason.

    Second, Int 15 means the dolphins speak 7 languages.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)19:58 No.17059138
    >Int 15 means the dolphins speak 7 languages.
    Oh, that's hilarious.
    >> absurd !!0swx5mltBxM 11/29/11(Tue)20:01 No.17059162
    Houses of the Blooded sounds like it might work, or at least give you some good ideas. Check that out.
    >> Titanium Man 11/29/11(Tue)20:01 No.17059169

    "Man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much — the wheel, New York, wars and so on — whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man — for precisely the same reasons."
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)20:05 No.17059208
    Intelligence seems to ocme together with assholism, along with kindness. There are dolphin rapists, for example, while I saw an heroic chimp save a baby it was not related to from drowning and return it to the mother. The two became friends, but did not breed.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)20:07 No.17059228
    Will do, sir.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)20:21 No.17059359

    HotB is a good game (with some quirks) and is very shared narrative. If you want a game that could do a good nobles & merchants game check out Burning Wheel as well. It is less shared narrative, with some minor exceptions. Also the game rules don't rely on slaying monsters and being a party of adventurers.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)20:53 No.17059657
    Does it list the languages?
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)20:59 No.17059708
    If not, may I suggest:
    Thieves' Cant
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)21:02 No.17059743
    >Dolphins speak 7 languages.

    They speak Bottlenose, Bayleen, Humpback, Orca, Narr, Wright, and either Pink River or Shark.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)21:03 No.17059748
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)21:42 No.17060037
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    >Thieves' Cant

    Fucking lost it.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)21:50 No.17060100
    He keeps writing "RPG game(s)"
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)21:54 No.17060131
    We have 2 threads of this now.
    Should we condense or race them like Octopi?
    Other thread:
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)22:00 No.17060166
    Oh my god, we need to roll a 1d100 just to calculate hitting?
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)22:03 No.17060181
    I can just hear the word 'jerry stu' being whispered into my ear by a virgin maiden.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)22:03 No.17060189
    It's percentile die.
    It uses 2 d10s usually, one being the tens place, etc.
    Not that bad of a system, really.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)22:06 No.17060214
    Oh. That's pretty cool.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)22:07 No.17060225
    CoC uses it.
    Makes for easy calculations of how likely you are to succeed at something, but it's a bit boring.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)22:35 No.17060477
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    You guy(s) are overblown thing. This game is best among RPG(s) and very realistic. Everyone is talking about it, like here.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)23:43 No.17061005

    I've just had a great idea.

    Elminster as a Kender.
    >> Anonymous 11/29/11(Tue)23:45 No.17061023
    >implying Gary would stoop so low as to play a Kender
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)00:50 No.17061699

    >you have a 1% chance of surviving this attack
    >there is 1 person who survived

    So, by statistical accuracy we can say that he only used it against somewhere around 100 people?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)05:51 No.17063152
    Well, with the whole giant dragon bit, the fact a hundred people have even gone that far is quite impressive.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)05:55 No.17063161
    What is up with all the (s)ing?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)05:56 No.17063164
    You've made some pretty amusing comments on his website, /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)06:34 No.17063291
    Why didnt he just play Basic Roleplaying?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)08:22 No.17063707

    Don't you mean Ed Greenwood. Gary had little to do with D&D by the time Dragonlance came out, and Ed made the pastiche realms best forgotten.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)08:24 No.17063718

    >They have been observed murdering for no discernible reason.

    Actually, we discerned the reason a couple of years ago.

    It's because they're dicks.
    >> hungarian LARPfag 11/30/11(Wed)09:56 No.17064090
    >see armors
    >studded leather
    >heavy steel shield
    >steel lance
    What is this, I don't even...

    >Here you will find a wide assortment of weapons
    >33 weapons in all
    I can name more polearms than that
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)10:26 No.17064250

    This is totally unrelated, but I would love to see you do that. No sarcasm, I can only think of like six off the top of my head.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)10:40 No.17064337
    Guan Do
    War Scythe
    Long Spear
    Long Staff

    That's off the top of my head. 21's not bad, but it I could actually look things up, I could get to 50 probably pretty easily.
    >> Morrowindfag 11/30/11(Wed)10:46 No.17064375
    Lochabre Axe
    (Arguably) Dane Axe
    There are so many more in my head and countless variations of these that pretty much all amount to "A spike blade and hook in some sort of constellation at the end of a stick"
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)10:47 No.17064381
    Not that guy, but off the top of my head...
    Tri/Bident/Military Fork
    Longaxe/ Pole-axe
    Hilariously Long-Handled Flail
    Bec De Corbin
    Hook Bill
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)10:50 No.17064409
    And, with a little help from wikipedia-

    Brogit staff
    Jeddart staff
    Lochaber axe
    Bec de corbin
    Lucerne hammer
    Man catcher
    Winged spear
    >> Morrowindfag 11/30/11(Wed)10:51 No.17064417
    Now how many of these are actually diffrent enough to warrant diffrent stats in a RPG?
    I'd probably narrow it down to a stat for Lenght vs Versitility and then let features like Brace, Hooks and Pikes add "Usable from horseback", "Has trip/unmount" and "Is settable against charges" respectivly.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)10:56 No.17064461
    Unsurprisingly, D&D has most of these actually statted out in their various books, and most have identical stats.

    However, they also have fantasy polearms, like Greatspears and giant steel Bubble wands and spears with chains at the end that connect to other spears with chains at their end attached to a baby.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)11:01 No.17064507

    /tg/, you are the wind beneath my wings
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)11:07 No.17064556
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    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)11:12 No.17064593
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)11:13 No.17064602
    Perfects. Sums it up completely.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)11:16 No.17064619

    I don't know if this is the article that says it, but heartbreakers are an important step in becoming a designer.

    Of course, that doesn't mean you should try to publish the damn thing.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)11:18 No.17064629

    I think its this one. There is a part II, though.
    >This essay is about some 1990s games I'm calling "fantasy heartbreakers," which are truly impressive in terms of the drive, commitment, and personal joy that's evident in both their existence and in their details - yet they are also teeth-grindingly frustrating, in that, like their counterparts from the late 70s, they represent but a single creative step from their source: old-style D&D.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)11:34 No.17064716

    Haha oh wow.

    >Finally, the last painful thing. Check out the self-perceived "innovations," like these listed on the back of Forge: Out of Chaos.
    >Select proficiencies such as Final Blow, Field Repair, Assassination, Mounted Combat, and Blind Fighting! [AD&D2, late 80s] No more arbitrary experience points! The more you use a skill, the better you get! [RuneQuest, c. 1977] Realistic combat mechanics! Armor that can be destroyed! [The Fantasy Trip, 1980] Two separate defensive values! [(Sigh) Champions, 1980]
    >> hungarian LARPfag 11/30/11(Wed)11:34 No.17064720
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    4.Military Fork
    5.War Scythe
    8.Bohemian Earspoon
    11.Danish Axe
    12.Poleaxe (but some says it's just a two handed weapon)
    16.Quarterstaff (some may argue)
    18.Boar Spear
    19.Bec De Corbin
    28.Lucern Hammer
    32.Guan Dao
    34.Hungarian Axe

    Of course I could say things like English Bill, Italian Bill, Billhook and stuff like that, but that wouldn't be fair.

    That said, I'm bad at weapons terminology and for me most of these are just simply polearms.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)12:03 No.17064899
    It's funny, I've always seen D&D as my "heartbreaker".
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)13:45 No.17065426
    someone explain to me how does the combat works in this shit. Also are there any weapon and armor statistics? I found their price but I can't found if they give you any bonuses or not
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)14:01 No.17065515
    Xor was a cosmic mage who had reached 100 lv. and seeing his aging body begin to falter sought a
    way to increase his life (he was actually looking for immortality). What he discovered was a way to
    store his soul into a jewel (which he has hidden in a place NO ONE could find) and keep his body
    (or I should say, what is left of his body) going with magic; thus becoming an undead mage!
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)14:02 No.17065519
    Mor-ell was a 100 lv. illusionist who became a dragon mage with the only undead dragon (was a
    shadow dragon until going through the same transformation that Xor did) in existence (this act
    repulsed the dragons and the undead dragon is not allowed anywhere near the Dragon Isles). When
    Mor-ell finally made it to the 5th level dragon mage, his soul went into the jewel that held the
    dragon's soul.

    Unknown to anyone, including his brothers, is the fact that Mor-ell is actually the one who runs the
    Assassin's Guild for all of Atlantasia. Even though he is not an assassin himself (actually he has
    never assassinated anyone) he was the one who started the guild and then disappeared into the
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)14:04 No.17065530
    Tass-mer was a 100 lv. necromancer who was bit by a noble vampire (Tass-mer eventually killed her)
    and has become the true Prince of Vampires (as he has turned more into vampires than any 10
    noble/prince vampires combined). Tass-mer is also the only brother that carries weapons (except
    for Mor-ell's wands) which, over the rebirths, he has become quite proficient with <67%> (it helps
    to have a vampire's strength when you are a mage). His favourite method of attack is to turn into
    gaseous form and materialize right behind his victim where he thrusts his two blades into his
    victim's back. While they are squirming on his blades he will ask them if they wish to become a
    vampire (if they say no he just watches them die on his blades).
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)14:13 No.17065582
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    This is horrifyingly written.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)14:16 No.17065592
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    It's like fapping with a cheese grater. Somehow interesting and funny but way more painful.

    There are three brothers who have been around Atlantasia for an extremely long time. All of them
    are UE and while they COULD run around killing everyone they run across, they generally just use
    the races of Atlantasia for their own amusement. They always have a Shai-Elf mage with them that
    they will use for a quick exit (or as a means to keep their tower in another dimension).
    These brothers, designed for their amusement, created a tower and the elven mage put it into
    another dimension. They use this tower to trap unsuspecting adventurers who must find their way
    through the entire tower before being allowed to leave (see the appendix 1 Free Campaign).
    Should anyone be foolish enough to try and battle these brothers, their demise would be inevitable
    (it may just take a while as these brothers are very sadistic (especially Tass-mer).
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)14:24 No.17065643
    Moulaan is THE king of demons; the biggest, baddest demon of them all. He appears to be a
    noble/prince demon but much, much larger (he stands 75' tall). He also carries a mace that makes
    noble/prince demon's maces look like toys as well as a gigantic flaming scythe.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)14:30 No.17065677
    I think my brain accidentally caught fire. This is some terrible shit.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)14:35 No.17065712
    Not even like 'oh you could find this jewel if you tried really hard'. Nope. You're never killing this DMPC.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)14:35 No.17065715
    Unicorn (costs you the life of one you love <players choice>)
    Unicorns are beings of pure heart! They would never attack unless they were threatened (or those
    endeared to the unicorn is being threatened). Because of this pureness of heart, any who kill a
    unicorn (and good luck with that) will forfeit the life of one they love and the Deities will ensure this
    will be done.
    Unicorns have an excellent relationship with the Elemental Guardians as well as any of the beings
    from the Fairie Realm. Should you kill a unicorn on the island of Xyla, you will be facing every Fairie
    Being on the island with 2ss. While the Deities will take one the killer loves, the Fairie Beings will
    take the killer's life.
    Unicorns will give directions to anywhere you are going within the unicorn's forest if the question is
    directed and asked with the respect the unicorn expects.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)14:38 No.17065725
    Shapeshifters are an interesting being from another dimension. While they are not a true lycanthrope
    (lycanthropes can only take 1 other shape from their true form <the animal>), they act in similar
    fashion. The fact is, shapeshifters can take whatever form they wish (as long as they have seen this
    form). Their size, shape, and whatever else they wish you to see (and feel) is all up to the
    shapeshifter (they are actually a liquid form).
    Shapeshifters are extremely intelligent (17).
    Shapeshifters will never harm anyone; they study other life forms! However, do not take this passive
    demeanor as shapeshifters are soft! This would be a very painful lesson! Each shapeshifter has a
    weapon they feel most comfortable with and they will turn their arms into whichever weapon they
    wish. Shapeshifters are very quick as well (100'/ss) and will ALWAYS admit when they are defeated
    in combat, then they will disappear around a corner and blend in with whatever is there.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)14:38 No.17065726
    So, like, do any of these characters not have a secret that is unknown to everyone including their super best friends which makes them invincible?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)14:43 No.17065752
    Noble/Prince Vampire 1500 E.P.s
    Noble or prince vampires have learned another form to add to their repertoire of forms: gaseous
    form. By this time, they have mastered the art of feeding and thus no one ever catches a
    noble/prince vampire. If you have a meeting with one of these beings, it is because this vampire has
    chosen to be there! These vampires gain +2 to all affected attributes.
    Noble or prince vampires are the only vampires able to turn the living into the undead (turning you
    into a vampire). Against myths, killing the noble or prince vampire will NOT kill all those the slain
    vampire turned.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)14:45 No.17065763
    >7 Different Kinds of Elves
    And of course the evil elves can be the most classes.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)14:49 No.17065779
    Meridian Lizard
    It is absolutely FORBIDDEN to kill a meridian lizard. They are sacred to many as these creatures
    follow the energy lines of Atlantasia.
    If you are searching for the best spot to cast a spell; if you are searching for the perfect spot to set
    up a temple; then look for one of these small lizards (about 6'' - 9'' long). The stripes down their
    back will change color relating how powerful the energy line is.
    Should anyone be caught killing a meridian lizard (and you WILL be caught), you would owe a quest
    to the first Deity that shows up after the death of the lizard (usually 3 - 10ss).
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)14:50 No.17065788

    >no one ever catches a noble/prince vampire.


    >the biggest thing not known about Par-traxx (none of the Deities even know this) is that he is actually the avatar of the original creator of all the known universes and dimensions

    but he can't catch or kill a Vampire Prince.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)14:52 No.17065799
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    Stealth Spider 5 E.P.s
    The stealth spider's poison is the most sought poison on Atlantasia! However, good luck ever
    finding one!
    Stealth spiders got their name because they are chameleon spiders; they can blend into any
    background. Plus they are only about an inch across.
    Two bites from a stealth spider and within 20ss your blood will literally begin to boil. This does a
    double type of damage: fire and blood loss!
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)14:54 No.17065813
    >Level 100 lich elf with a phylactery impossible to locate

    >Level 100 dragon mage with a super-special undead dragon who secretly runs the assassins' guild without actually being an assassin

    >Level 100 vampire necromancer prince

    >Like a demon, only much much bigger, and he totally dual wields a mace that can level buildings and a burning scythe

    This guy obviously can't write NNPCs. They reek of DMPC self-inserts with a touch of animu shenanigans. Especially the flaming scythe (seriously, does he not know a scythe is a two-handed weapon?) and the teleport backstab followed by a snarky comment.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)14:58 No.17065833
    So, am I allowed to kill anything at all in this setting? Because it sounds like everything fucks me over in one way or another, to the point where killing motherfucking squirrels will delevel me, unicorns will have EVERY GODDAMN FAE IN THE WORLD after me, and lizards apparently have some kind of tag that means I'm automatically found out and forced to become a god's bitch.

    Who thought this was a good idea?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)14:59 No.17065849

    what are their anal circumferences?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:01 No.17065860
    >The Mantle of Justice is a blue and silver silk robe with small gold scales embroidered around the collar. Anyone who puts this robe on will gain the following:
    >wearer automatically knows the intent of any the wearer targets;
    >can see through any disguise (even magically induced);
    >always knows the truth in any given situation;
    >immediately goes blind (for justice is blind after all);

    >can see through any disguise (even magically induced);
    >immediately goes blind (for justice is blind after all);

    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:07 No.17065902
    guys, are you sure the pdf is the full stuff? I mean a fuckton things are missing, like how combat works, weapon statistics, what are the talents, common sense...
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:08 No.17065905
    This is hands down the worst thing. The worst thing ever.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:11 No.17065922
    >how combat works

    Ooh ooh I know that one! I actually found it yesterday, but I can't remember where.

    There is like one whole paragraph that tells you the initiative order (it's just straight Dex or whatever he uses for Dex) and how to determine a hit. I'm not sure if there's any more though.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:11 No.17065927
    It's complete, just terrible edited.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:14 No.17065941
    Found it. Page 48.

    There's some incomprehensible mess or charts after it and I think what is supposed to be more clarification about determining hits/damage. Fucked if I'll try to figure it out though.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:15 No.17065945

    then is there a difference between the mundane weapons?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:18 No.17065962
    >If the attack is a miss, the player rolls the % dice for a precision roll to determine how bad the miss
    >is using the following formula:
    >01 - 10%: player slips and hits them self (damage is at x3)

    you hit yourself so hard that you more damage than your weapon capable of
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:21 No.17065969

    >that you more damage

    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:23 No.17065980
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    >mfw between cycle 17 and 23 (are those days???) of the Season of Chaos, all spells have a 100% chance to backfire and cause X3 or X10 damage to the caster

    >all the while the chaos dragons are flying around mating and causing 30% of the population to be sucked through rifts to other dimensions
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:25 No.17065995
    Wow, I am loving this so much. You can just see how much he cares, how much he LOVES and CHERISHES every creature in his little world, how much has invested himself in them. Each one is a perfect, special snowflake, and he'll be DAMNED IF YOU ARE GOING TO MESS WITH HIS PERFECT VISION!!!

    It is almost adorable. 18 years of life, of dedication, his magnum opus is complete. He has imparted a portion of his very SOUL to paper. It is terrible, just...16 year old girl slashfic writer terrible, but you can tell it was a labor of love. Every creature, every character sports some of the most painful, hilarious prose ever put to page, and it is all the better/worse because of how much he obviously cares about them. I'm happy for him. I really am.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:26 No.17065998
    How are wizards even ALIVE.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:27 No.17066006

    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:29 No.17066011
    Anyone looked at the random encounter tables? They basically all go like:

    >1-10%: ladybug
    >11-35%: fox
    >36-50%: turtle
    >51-60%: garter snake
    >61-70%: barn owl
    >71-80%: toad
    >81-90%: kitten
    >91-99%: sandwich
    >100%: DRAGON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:30 No.17066017
    ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! You are PRIVILEDGED to be allowed a brief glimpse into the perfection that is Atlansia! How dare you even THINK of harming one of these creatures of purest form and essence?!

    You should thank the gods that you have been given the opportunity to look upon this world, and weep tears of joy if one of these super beings DEIGNS to show themselves and speak to you (as obviously they are so super awesome that you can only even meet them should they choose to show themselves).
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:32 No.17066025
    Think of those immortal vampires. There's a 30% chance every year you get transported to other dimensions by fucking Chaos Dragons. They are the statistical outliers by a huge margin.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:32 No.17066027
    How is there even a civilization? Assuming the Season of Chaos comes once a year, and each year roughly corresponds to one of our years, this means that for 4 days a year, 30% of civilization just disappears.

    You'd think this would either mean civilization would collapse entirely, or everyone would gang up on those fucking dragons and exterminate them. Though from what I've heard of this setting, I assume killing one would summon a level 100 Dragon Guardian dual-wielding mithrilgold (like mithril, only gold instead of silver, so it's better) gunblades and using rainbow crystal magic.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:34 No.17066035
    >The next steps are to get the book into game stores in southern Alberta, and then onto the shelves in the large bookstores, he said.

    >Holland plans to auction a signed first edition, complete with documentation and a case, on eBay sometime in December.

    >He also wants to set up a game night at his Vulcan residence.

    That last part is the saddest part of OP's news article link.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:34 No.17066040
    >Comments Section:
    >So I have a question.Dolphins have a high enough Int score to learn 7 languages. Are you aware that this may break the game, as PCs may simply hire a Dolphin to act as a translator for them?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:34 No.17066044
    That is the best random encounter table I have ever seen. 99% chance of no encounter, and 1% chance of a dozen exclamation points. I know he probably thought the sandwich was the humorous part, but I find the turtle and barn own to be hilarious.

    > Ready your weapons, companions, the turtle is upon us!!!
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:35 No.17066048

    vampire princes can be found by chaos dragons only if the vampire wants to be found
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:36 No.17066058

    But it is FORBIDDEN to kill a turtle! You fool, you will bring the wrath of the first god to appear (within 1d8+2 ss) upon us!
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:36 No.17066061
    If you attack a Chaos dragon, the spell rebounds on you x100.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:37 No.17066066
    :( while it was obvious he has no friends and has never been in a game, seeing it there in print is the saddest thing I've seen today.

    > he hopes to start a game night...
    > if you write it, they will come.
    > oh please, let them come.
    > please...
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:37 No.17066069
    >everyone would gang up on those fucking dragons and exterminate them

    Just don't bring any spellcasters along:

    >Spells: any spell cast at a chaos dragon is absorbed and thrown back at the caster at x 100. Plus, any spell cast at a chaos dragon and the dragon will automatically know that spell (mage or priesthood).

    Just 100x? Why not 1,000,000x? Or one zillion trillion million times back with no reverse backsies!?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:37 No.17066070

    no turtles are not forbidden. They just give you negative XP
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:38 No.17066078
    Beware of the sandwich.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:39 No.17066081
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    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:39 No.17066085

    cast invincibility on chaos dragon. now you have invincibility x100 on yourself
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:39 No.17066091
    I wonder if eating the sandwich will also give you negative xp?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:40 No.17066101
    He has been in a game night, he's been playing this setting with his wife and friends. The different devs are his group members, I imagine.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:41 No.17066106
    >negative XP
    What is... this... faggotry?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:42 No.17066111
    Huh. Then why does he hope to start one if he already has one?

    If his writing is any indication of how he runs things it must be painful. Every other entry in the book has a DM fiat, how must he be in actual games? Or maybe he is just worried that other DMs will run it wrong.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:43 No.17066115
    >turtle kills magic ley line lizard
    >angry lizard god shows up to avenge lizard, kills turtle
    >angry turtle god shows up to avenge turtle
    >infinite loop of vengeance

    Oh the humanity! When will we ever learn!
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:43 No.17066119
    I read it like an in-store game night. Like 'all the people that like my awesome game, come play it with me at X'.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:43 No.17066121
    Didn't you see? You lose 4 xp every time you kill a squirrel because such and such god loves them so much.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:44 No.17066123
    I would just armour myself in ley line lizards. Come at me, dragons.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:44 No.17066130

    I assume that he is not that bad at game writing, there must be a logical reason for all of this. Like he is a pedophile or something and he want's little kids to come to his house.
    That would be a better alternative
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:44 No.17066134

    Apparently there are 5 seasons per rebirth (year). 4 out of the 5 are the traditional elements, and last 80 cycles. Then there's the Chaos season which lasts 40 cycles.

    >operates on a fixed timetable

    a semi-segment (ss) is a round of engagement (combat?). 10 ss = one segment. 20 segments = 1 cycle.

    depending how long a round of combat is, that might be an extremely short year.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 11/30/11(Wed)15:45 No.17066138
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    That would be the most diabolical and evil thing for a DM to do to a party...

    >Oh you guys killed the turtle? Negative 210 xp. Aaaaand... that's just enough for you to lose a level.
    >I'm sorry Frank, but you don't have that feat anymore.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:45 No.17066140
    And then when the Lizard God casts explosion on the dragon, he dies. Good job breaking the pantheon, PC.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:47 No.17066150
    All that's left is me in my lizard armour and that all powerful guy. And he can't kill anything (even though he can scatter their atoms and only 1% of people he does this to survive the process, that's apparently not killing them).
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:48 No.17066161
    Someone on /tg/ must be in the Alberta area of Canadaland.

    Whoever you are, you know what you must do. The Gods command it.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:49 No.17066172
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    >Table 6* (1d12)

    >two pages of potion descriptions

    >* Note: all these potions are only sold by the person who developed the recipe and NONE OF
    THEM WORK!!!!
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:49 No.17066175

    maybe 1ss is 1,825 IRL days
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:52 No.17066198
    >that might be an extremely short year.

    You know what would also make it short? Horny Chaos Dragons fucking each other in a trans dimensional orgy though your house!
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:52 No.17066203

    oh wait, no. cycles are days not years.
    Then 1 ss is 0,12 hours so 7,2 minutes
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:52 No.17066204
    So if you kill a unicorn, the gods kill your loved ones as punishment. Never mind the ethical issues with that, what happens if your loved one is another unicorn?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:53 No.17066214
    This is my new character.

    A wizard who refuses to kill anything and insists he is a pacifist, because his spells aren't *always* fatal.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:53 No.17066218
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    We can break this.

    Then we can kick reason to the curb, do the impossible, kill the unkillable, ROW ROW MAKE A GROWN MAN CRY.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:53 No.17066219
    Cast fireball at a dragon while surrounded by squirrels and lizards.
    Dragon takes huge amount of negative XP and is punished by the gods
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:54 No.17066222
    That's some pretty fucking slow combat.

    Are all participants having tea breaks in between gentlemanly duels?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:55 No.17066225
    It's not even hard to break this. I'm gonna strut around in my lizard armour throwing squirrels and turtles at vampires and dragons.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:55 No.17066229
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    do it slowly and painfully. Also, pics or it didn't happened
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:55 No.17066231
    The first time a unicorn kills another unicorn, the whole race insta-wipes.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:56 No.17066240

    >Think of a wolverine on a cat's body about 2'-3' long and you have a Bearcat.

    Well. That is not what I was thinking when I read the word "Bearcat".
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:57 No.17066248
    Bearcats? What gods protect these? Are they playable?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:57 No.17066251

    you still can't meet the powerful vampires.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:58 No.17066255
    They can pick which loved one dies, so they'll just use some virgin as a scapegoat.

    Everyone knows unicorns love virgins, right?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:59 No.17066258
    Kill a unicorn. Declare you love a god.
    Continue until all the gods are dead
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)15:59 No.17066260
    Presuming that unicorn loves you back, I'd assume you either double-die, or the god has to kill himself for killing a unicorn.

    To be honest, the goddamn setting makes no fucking sense at all.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:00 No.17066265
    I more like the CHAMELEON SPIDER! thing.

    what if you are an emo kid who hunts unicorns? And you don't love anyone.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:00 No.17066270
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    they seem to be a random wildlife encounter. I'm not sure if the 120 EPs are gained or lost by killing them.

    and in my mind, experience is measured in a recorded music format (longer than a single, shorter than an album. usually 4-8 songs)
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:00 No.17066274
    I'm trying to imagine the creative process behind this game. Did this guy play one game of AD&D in 1993, decide "I can do better," then lock himself away for 18 years?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:01 No.17066276
    You gain it unless there's a minus sign, I think.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:02 No.17066283
    So it's a wolverine riding a cat corpse like a skateboard? That's a really weird monster concept.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:02 No.17066286
    But I'm now picturing a cat with a head that is an entire wolverine. Or just wolverines riding cats
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:02 No.17066298

    >kill a Bearcat
    >gain 120 E.P.s

    oh fuck at least two dozen of these are the Flaming Lips' Fight Test EP. :/
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:04 No.17066313
         File1322687086.jpg-(65 KB, 410x584, Wolverine.jpg)
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    Now I'm thinking of Wolverine riding a 2-3 foot long cat. Which is still not what the word Bearcat made me think of in the first place but is certainly more entertaining.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:06 No.17066322
    I love the fact the bearcat can apparently bite and attack with all four paws in a single turn. So apparently bearcats fight by flailing spastically with all four limbs simultaneously while biting their prey.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:06 No.17066328

    So if you kill a bearcat you can kill 24 squirrels
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:07 No.17066331
    If one turn is indeed 7,2 minutes long than it makes sense
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:07 No.17066332
    Perhaps they roll on their back so they can grab and bite you if you try and scratch their belly? It's what my friend's cat does to me, but doesn't actually sound very threatening
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:08 No.17066338
    They pounce on their prey, I guess?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:10 No.17066357
    I would presume "yourself" if for some reason someone incapable of love were to kill a unicorn, but I have no fucking clue what the dumbass author would rule, so who the fuck knows
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:10 No.17066358
    But in that case, why the fuck can it only use each attack once? Are bearcats really that slow? I wouldn't exactly be scared of a wolverine riding a cat that can bite me once every 7 minutes.

    Then again, it kind of makes sense. Must be hard for the cat to move with an entire goddamn wolverine riding it.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:10 No.17066359
    You know, this statblock implies that the creature uses all four of it's limbs and it's jaws to attack you at once.

    Which means it's only method of attack is launching itself at you directly perpendicular to the ground.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:12 No.17066376
    Maybe everyone moves super slow in this world.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:12 No.17066378
    You know, this begs the question of just what the fuck happens to hunters in this setting. If killing small animals draws the wrath of some faggy nature god, how the hell do they survive? Especially in a medieval-type setting, where hunting would be incredibly important to society in general.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:14 No.17066388
    Fucking Time Dragons. They mate in the Season of Time, making time move 30% slower.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:14 No.17066391
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    cat's are lazy. And they generally doesn't give a single fuck about you. Deal with it.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:16 No.17066413
    The squirrel goddess doesn't mind if you kill a couple of squirrels to eat.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:17 No.17066420
    But they're supposed to have the temperament of a wolverine. And if there's one thing wolverines are known for, it's ferocity.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:17 No.17066425

    you will starve to death if you can eat only a couple of squirrels
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:18 No.17066435

    I thought he was a borderline alcoholic
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:21 No.17066462
    But it wouldn't be a couple. It would be a lot. You'd need lots of fur for the winter, feed more people than just yourself, and so on. The hunters would need to supply a lot of people with meat and fur. Of course, I guess they could just leave squirrels alone, but it sounds like you're not allowed to kill any small animals, which would cause issues. Or force hunters to group up and go after actually dangerous animals.

    You know, this could be somewhat interesting if the author had thought about the ramifications of his retarded goddamn design decisions.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:22 No.17066471
    He's also prone to going off the handle and decapitating motherfuckers. He once let the Hulk eat him so he could stab him to death from the inside.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:22 No.17066474
    You could hunt crabs, thus gaining XP. However, only magic can them.
    Does that mean you can lure one in with some bait, then flail at it like a piñata till you hit it?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:24 No.17066494

    Is it wrong that I want to buy this? I gotta be able to cop at least a minor charge off of just owning this.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:26 No.17066510
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    I've got an idea. What if we actually repair this whole system?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:27 No.17066518
    >Unknown Armies reference in a shit game thread
    I don't know whether to high five you or slap you in the face.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:29 No.17066538
    If you buy the book, HE wins.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:29 No.17066539
    You might be able to repair the mechanics, because those are merely awful.

    It's when you get to the fluff that shit starts becoming bugfuck insane and unreadable. My advice? Cleanse it with fire, start again.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:30 No.17066547

    I don't care about the mechanics, I want to repair the fluff
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:31 No.17066563
    I don't know if we could fix it, but at the very least, making people behave realistically in the face of all this retardation could at least be fun in a "breaking the poor creator's vision" sense.

    For example, people ganging up and killing Chaos Dragons wherever they find them, smashing their eggs and doing their best to get rid of them. Vengeful people tricking their enemies into killing unicorns. Leyline lizards being used as protective measures.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:32 No.17066576

    All of them also seem to have the "only affected when they want to be" quality. I'd like to see you try to fix that.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:32 No.17066578
    Just play it straight. Civilised races are cowering vegetarians who fear and resent the cruel gods and the random dragons. Development is slow as every industry needs to have a third more workforce than necessary, just in case a dragon snatches some away. People run in fear of invincible crabs that are about 7 inches across. People tend to think hard about taking action, because once committed, you can't change what you're doing for at least 7 minutes
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:33 No.17066589

    >Leyline lizards being used as protective measures.

    In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millenium, the hide of a ferocious lizard worn as a cape is high fashion.

    In The Realms Of Atlantasia, you just wear the damn lizard.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:34 No.17066602
    Why am I laughing so hard at this?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:35 No.17066619
    I think I could play at least one game session in this sort of mindset.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:36 No.17066628
    Apparently "Saringetti" is a type of environment, not a specific location. 80% chance of encounter in the day, 40% at night. (everything is either 80 or 40 in Atlantasia, apparently)

    Encounter types include rhinos, elephants, hyenas, cheetahs, asps, lions, GIANT INSECTS, antelopes, giraffes, hippos, watter buffalo (oh fuck), hunting parties, gorillas, DRAGONS, and rogues.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:36 No.17066633
    If the crabs are invincible but not threatening we should make shields out of them or something. Or build houses.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:37 No.17066638
    >all animals except rogues
    Ah yes, the wild rogues that roam the Savannah, looking for gold.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:38 No.17066653

    Dungeons and Ruins have a 55% chance of encounter.

    You are more likely to encounter something in a specific desert than in a dungeon, where the encounter table includes skeletons, ghosts, ghouls, vampires, demons, slimes, various other shit and DRAGONS. You know, the kind of creatures that populate a fucking dungeon.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:40 No.17066668
    Glad it amused. It just seems to be the logical conclusions from a world full of arbitrary magical punishment for anyone doing anything
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:40 No.17066670
    Actually imagining this world is giving me the best laugh I've had in a while.

    "Mommy I did a bad."
    "What did you do Bobby?"
    "I killed a lizard"
    *angry god appears 3ss's later and flattens the child with his 48' long mallet*
    *also accidentally a unicorn in the process*
    *god war ensues, meanwhile sobbing mother is left by herself, starving because all the crops are flattened and she can't kill anything in the woods without dying of XP loss*
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:41 No.17066679

    >without dying of XP loss

    >without dying because she ran out of copies of Nine Inch Nails' "Broken"

    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:42 No.17066681
    They're like 7 inches across. You could build chainmail armour out of rock crabs and be all but fucking invincible.

    Worn beneath your cloak of lizards, obviously.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:44 No.17066704
    Crabman and Lizardcloak, the heroes this world deserves.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:44 No.17066709
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    >i can name more polearms than that.

    Ditto, Hell, i can practically do it in a motivational poster...
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:44 No.17066713
    The idea of your power and level being defined by your record collection is hilarious. Kings would spend their time scouring music stores for vintage vinyl.
    I wonder if your class would effect what genre of music you need? Heavy metal warriors, jazz wizards...
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:45 No.17066716
    I want to see this as some sort of gladiatorial fight.

    Two guys in crab armor swinging at each other with giant versions of those things you use to open crab legs.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:46 No.17066726

    but only EPs. not full-length LPs, and not, say, a 12" single.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:46 No.17066732
    They would need to be magical.

    Because according to the rules, you basically need a legendary magical weapon to be able to harm a 7 inch rock crab.

    I wish I was joking. A civilian could swing at a crab for days and he wouldn't even scratch the thing.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:49 No.17066755
    I don't know, it's stat block looks like only magical weapons can reliably hit it. Anything else has a 96% miss chance, with the accompanying chance to hit yourself three times harder than you were swinging it
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:49 No.17066757
    If you lose all your LPs you bleed to death.
    >burglar-assassins break into homes and steal people's music collection
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:50 No.17066761
    So Crabman Lizardcloak can quite literally defeat armies by standing still and letting them hit him.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:52 No.17066783
    Also, if they did hit him, the lizards would die and gods would avenge them.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:53 No.17066792

    But he could cover them in cement and make bitching houses out of them.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:53 No.17066794
    Well, the point wouldn't be to hurt the crabs, it'd be to hit the unprotected areas. The damage reflection would make it a true gladiatorial challenge.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:53 No.17066798
    What happens if you cause a lizard to die but don't actually kill one?
    As in, you see a starving lizard and don't feed it, and it then starves to death.

    What's the theological retribution for lizard manslaughter?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:54 No.17066805
    Seems that way. Defence of 96%. 10% of missed attacks lead to you apparently cutting your own head off.
    You've got a better chance of killing yourself than the crab
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:54 No.17066806

    And if he waits for days 17-23 of the Season of Chaos, all the mages will self destruct if they try to hurt him. He could conquer entire cities without lifting a finger, assuming he isn't randomly teleported to Bruges by a pair of copulating chaos dragons while en route.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:55 No.17066813

    The gods won't kill you, but the same can't be said of a Dire Squirrel.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:56 No.17066825
    You know, it's really too bad. While most of the game is shit, a few ideas are kind of cool. I actually like the leyline lizards, though of course he went full retard with the idea. If he'd left it at them being naturally drawn toward leylines, they would simply be immensely useful and probably venerated by a lot of people. But by involving the gods infallibly hunting down anyone that fucks with them, you ruin it. Had you left it alone, you could actually build on the idea. Lizards are worth millions on the black market, but of course being discovered smuggling one is an instant death sentence. So you have this super exclusive black market item that requires thorough checks just to make sure the guy who sees it won't kill you on the spot for fucking around with one of the greatest natural resources in existence.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:57 No.17066826

    detective work in this world would be remarkably easy.

    >Constable! We've found a dead body! With a severed head!
    >A severed head, you say? Why, he was clearly attempting to murder a crab. Case closed.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)16:59 No.17066842
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:00 No.17066844
    >Dimensional Guard (cast time: 3ss) (magic cost: 42)

    >This spell allows the mage to call a random dimensional beast (see Dimensional Quarry) to stand guard for the following duration:

    >lv. 50 - 99: 1 cycle

    >lv. 100: until released

    >*Note: this guard will not fight in combat situations


    >Will not fight.

    So... it's not really a "guard" so much as it is a "watcher". a "voyeur" if you will. I mean, if a Guard won't fight to defend what they are guarding, then it's not really a Guard at all. Just a thing, standing around waiting.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:00 No.17066846
    You could murder someone by starting a fight and being good at dodging
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:03 No.17066875
    It's the mall cop of the summon world. It stands around telling you to stop it, but can't really do anything.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:03 No.17066877
    I suppose it depends on your definition of 'combat situation'.
    Maybe it only attacks people who can't fight back
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:04 No.17066887
    Maybe it stands there and attracts attention until people attack it and cut their own heads off.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:05 No.17066891

    if they miss you there is a 35% chance that they will hit themselves
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:06 No.17066902
    I am now imagining a summoned monster that will run up behind people and smack them over the head with a folding chair, only to run away screaming if they survive.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:07 No.17066907
    It doesn't apply to ranged weapons does it?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:08 No.17066918
    >Browse the site
    >White on light blue.
    >I've seen worse
    >Turn on JavaScript
    It's not a link btw
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:08 No.17066920
    Is it sad or terrible that I'm thinking of getting Chainmaill Mud-Crab armor and Leyline Lizard cloak from this universe to use in TG/Meta quest?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:09 No.17066923
    >Fuck, I nocked my bow so hard I accidentally shot myself in the gut!
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:11 No.17066935
    >miss shot with crossbow
    >bolt loops around the world
    >embeds itself in your spine
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:12 No.17066941
    DO IT.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:14 No.17066959
    That's another thing. Almost everyone in this world would be a pacifist, because a third of all misses would end up hurting themselves. I mean, can you imagine having an entire contingent of say, 300 archers, of which a hundred miss? Congratulations, 10% of your archers have now killed themselves.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:14 No.17066961

    There are no specific rules for ranged weapons. So yes it does.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:18 No.17066991
    Oh wow.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:18 No.17066999
    >A single mudcrab attacks a village
    >"Summon the guard!"
    >1000 men against a single crab
    >333 men kill themselves
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:19 No.17067007
    I don't believe I even know of a system that doesn't have multiple types of magic users, maybe shadowrun?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:21 No.17067018
    Phys adepts, vodoo priests, druids, technomancers, and so on and so on.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:23 No.17067035
    Shadowrun has huge differences between the types of magic available. The difference between Mages and Adepts for one thing
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:40 No.17067185
    Come on, don't let it die
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:45 No.17067218
    The first thing to look at for the defense calculation is the player's (or N.P.C.'s) defense percentage.
    If a player's defense % is less than the attacker's to hit %, follow the following chart*:
    01 - 15%: steps into attack (damage is x3; armor takes 2d20 off durability)
    16 - 35%: block is late (damage is x2; armor takes 1d20 off durability)
    36 - 55%: block is late (damage is x1; armor takes 1d10 off durability)
    56 - 80%: armor is hit (damage is x1/2; armor takes 1d8 off durability)
    81 - 90%: armor is hit (damage is x1/2; armor takes 1d6 off durability)
    91 - 99%: attack glances off armor (damage is x1/4; armor takes 1d4 off durability)
    100%: attack misses altogether
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:46 No.17067228
    > The idea of your power and level being defined by your record collection is hilarious. Kings would spend their time scouring music stores for vintage vinyl.I wonder if your class would effect what genre of music you need? Heavy metal warriors, jazz wizards...

    Did we just create a really awesome concept for a proto-homebrew system? (And would most kings and noblemen be hipster douchebags?)
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:48 No.17067242
    /tg/ has made or tried to make this system about eight times now.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:50 No.17067256
    >What's the theological retribution for lizard manslaughter?
    That this is an actual serious question that can be asked of the system redeems it totally in my eyes. Shit's hilarious. My guess:
    1-49%: You die
    50-99%: You live
    100%: Dragon
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:51 No.17067268
    Got to this point before actual tears of laughter started running down my face.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:51 No.17067272
    I have no idea how to make sense of that. The attack is rolled, compared to the defence, and if it hits you roll again to see how well you hit? And there is a chance that you miss after you've already hit?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:51 No.17067274
    So if I cast a healing spell at a chaos dragon while I'm at -HP what happens?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:52 No.17067277
    It's awesome. Crabman Lizardcloak can be the one good thing to come from this. Recruit him. He'll be like the fucking terminator. Inexorable. Indestructible. He approaches, and you run or you die.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:54 No.17067298
    You hit him, you die. You miss him, you probably die, you run away, his cowardly dimension beast garrottes you while you aren't looking. Then a wild rogue appears
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:55 No.17067300
    I have to be honest, I'm actually considering buying this because it's $3.99 and it has easily given me $3.99 worth of laughter.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:55 No.17067305

    Just roll on the table:

    1-40%: You are healed 100x your spell
    41-49%: Your head implodes
    50-51%: Your head explodes
    52-75%: Barn owl
    76-99%: That one creator dude appears and jacks off in your face
    100%: You summon another dragon, made entirely of dragons
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:56 No.17067307

    you get healed 100 times
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:57 No.17067313
    Oh god stop it. I can't breathe.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:57 No.17067316
    We need a drawfag to depict Crabman Lizardcloak.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:58 No.17067319
    >52-75%: Barn owl
    I think you mean 'Roll on the Owl Animal Familiar table'.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)17:58 No.17067323
    I can't see him as anything other than badass. Like he's the one guy who realised how fucked up the world was so he exploited its rules and now he just goes around fucking everything up for being so retarded.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)18:00 No.17067342
    >Then a wild rogue appears
    I lost it.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)18:06 No.17067392
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    That image sure looks familiar...
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)18:08 No.17067403

    source? maybe we can blackmail him because of the copyright issues.
    We want more dragons in this thing
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)18:09 No.17067414
    I don't know, dude on RPG net pointed it out.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)18:14 No.17067459
    Oh, it may really be a parody. The phone number is apparently the number of a dental office.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)18:15 No.17067467
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    Allright. That's quite enough.

    I have the PDF, I will now attempt to make a character.

    ... or I would, but I have microsoft office 2003, and all the character sheets are in .DOCX filetype, instead of a nice, .pdf like the rest of the damn thing.

    Okay, I've gotta get a codec.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)18:17 No.17067480
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)18:17 No.17067486
    It's better than a character sheet which is eight separate one-page Word Documents.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)18:19 No.17067495
    Is it okay if I feel sorry for for this guy?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)18:19 No.17067502
    Not if he's just trolling. Yes if this really is a Fantasy Heartbreaker.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)18:37 No.17067605
    The Assassin's Guild is run by an unknown leader (like all the rest of the Guilds are) who no one is
    sure they have ever met. This leader has messengers that relay information to either random seeming
    people or drop boxes. This keeps the leader informed about each Guild House. These Guild
    Houses, which can be found in every city, is run by a Guild Master who has 3-12 advisors/body
    guards around them at all time. The Guild House itself is usually the house of the Guild Master
    themself (though most times is under an assumed name and could never be linked back to the Guild
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:04 No.17067795
    Unlike other Guild Houses, Spy Guild houses do not have a common area; as the Guild Master is
    the one who wants to determine what information is spread and by whom. So, if there is no place
    for the other spies to gather, then there is no place for information to "accidently" be passed on.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:13 No.17067857
    rolled 10, 9, 3, 9, 10, 6, 1, 7, 1, 6, 1, 10, 5, 5, 10, 3, 7, 6 = 109

    Right! I downloaded a .docx converter!

    I'm making a character now.

    Step 1: roll 3d10 for each outer attribute, take the highest for each.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:17 No.17067883
    rolled 3 = 3

    >rolled 10, 9, 3,

    Str: 10,

    > 9, 10, 6,

    Int: 10

    >1, 7, 1,

    Wis: 7

    >6, 1, 10,

    Dex 10

    >5, 5, 10

    Cha: 10

    > 3, 7, 6

    PStr: 7

    So, apparently, I'm awesome. There's 4 races, i'll roll a d4 to determine.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:19 No.17067902
    Attach leylizards to the soft underbelly of a crab.

    Attack the gods.

    Also, why is "a wild rogue appears" funny to people?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:19 No.17067903
    rolled 2, 10, 3, 9, 5, 8, 10, 1, 2, 2, 2, 7 = 61

    Dwarf! But i forgot to roll for Inner attributes. so rolling for those now: roll 2d10 and take the higher.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:23 No.17067927

    godspeed anon, may the leylizard be with you
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:24 No.17067934
    Yo, dude, stop. Make a new thread. This one is en route to page 16.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:29 No.17067978
    rolled 4 = 4


    >rolled 2, 10,
    Con 10

    > 3, 9,
    Mental Quickness: 9

    > 5, 8,
    Retention: 8

    > 10, 1,
    Agility: 10

    > 2, 2,
    Magnetisim: 2

    > 2, 7
    Psy Defense: 7

    Okay, apparently I am a Tough motherfucking dwarf, I mean, look at that, how many 10s did I get?

    Dwarves get a bunch of adjustments: so, when that's all done, I've got

    Str: 12, Con: 12
    Int: 10, MQu: 9
    Wis: 7, Ret: 8
    Dex: 9, Agi: 8
    Cha: 8, Mag: 2
    PStr: 7, PDef: 8

    So, dwarves only have 4 classes available (Warrior, Priesthood, Assassin, Spy. Next roll is for class.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:37 No.17068039
    rolled 3 = 3

    It's cool, it's archived. Anyhow, Looks like i'm a spah. I'm sure i'll enjoy sapping some sentries.

    Spies get adjustments too.... and applied.

    Str: 11, Con: 11
    Int: 12, MQu: 9
    Wis: 8, Ret: 8
    Dex: 10, Agi: 8
    Cha: 8, Mag: 1
    PStr: 6, PDef: 8

    Anywho, because my Stats are high, I get +2 damage, +3 to each LP die, +4 languages, +25% on learning rolls, +10% diplomatic rolls, +1 to spell rolls, +25% reaction rolls, +10% pickpocket rolls, +20% to charm rolls, x2 Spell damage, and +10% to spell save rolls! Do any of these things mean anythign to me? Not yet! But i do smell page 16 oncoming, let us move on to a new thread!

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