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  • File : 1321892222.png-(540 KB, 480x360, jugando_rol_en_laboratorio_de_dexter.png)
    540 KB Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)11:17 No.16981996  
    Hey /tg/, i would like to know some stupid items you made up and gave to your players (or your DM gave you)

    for example: once the players invaded a magicians castle and in one of the rooms they found a staff that the only thing it can do is stand in perfectly equilimbrium, they thought it was an important item and they always take it everywhere

    You can tell useful items as well
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)11:22 No.16982028
    A staff that stands up perfectly straight and never falls over?
    Your players just stumbled upon the perfect portable hat and coat rack.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)11:23 No.16982032
    Have you heard the one about the bag of chewing that became the bag of gumming, or the longsword of fragging?
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)11:28 No.16982050
    Do tell.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)11:28 No.16982055
    I gave a PC "boots of haste" so he could flee the battle (he was fucking useless most of the time), he once asked "how fast does the boots go" and i told him "emmh, uh, 150km/h"", then he says "okay, i draw my daggers, run and stab that fucking giant!, tell me, ¿how much damage i do with daggers at 150km/h?" the other PC's were amused by this, i made him roll and he died in the impact against the giant (the giant died too, at least).
    Never try to outsmart your GM using physics if he knows more than you do
    >> Belisaurius 11/21/11(Mon)11:29 No.16982060
    It was a human finger, that tasted different each time you tasted it...
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 11/21/11(Mon)11:31 No.16982066
    .... Unless he's handed you a Universally Imovable Rod.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)11:31 No.16982071
    Hahahaha!, they never thought about doing that and me neither, maybe some day i might give them a hint or something
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)11:36 No.16982091
    I gave him a shortsword that was very heavy and had high requiments, but dealt poison damage, because it was made out of plumbum.

    I was twelve, and what was that.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)11:37 No.16982094
    The Bag of Chewing is like a mimic, except it's mimicing a Bag of Holding. Anything that gets put into it gets chewed up, anything it can't chew just gets spat out. The party in question gave the fucking thing to the Rogue and it became the Vorpal Bag... Until it was put over the head of someone wearing a +2 helmet. Then it became the Bag of Gumming.

    The Rogue then sold it to a sailor.

    The Longsword of Fragging's effects vary depending on the target. Against an enemy it's a Merciful Longsword +1, only capable of doing nonlethal damage, but doing that damage in full up until the target reaches zero HP. Against an ally, friend, servant, or other similar target it's a Keen Vorpal Longsword +5. The party sold it to the cheiftan of a local Orc tribe to help ensure he ramained chieftan.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)11:37 No.16982095
    I gave them an "Unbreakable Walnut", after, like, 4 sessions they stumbled unto asquirrel and gave it the walnut, then they stood there like 3 hours looking how it went crazy trying to open it
    >> Voge Gandire !!XTu+8ESfHFY 11/21/11(Mon)11:41 No.16982108
    Hammer of Driving Force.

    A regular carpenter's hammer, but it always drives a nail in with a single blow.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)11:41 No.16982112
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    Magical potions of silliness. Before they gave cosmetic changes/joke effects like becoming Brian Blessed regardless of gender.

    Then I found http://mochakimono.chipx86.com/agen2.html
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 11/21/11(Mon)11:44 No.16982125
    Here, have another:


    I prefer the first myself. Much sillier half the time.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)11:48 No.16982150

    The alchemist gave the party three crates with twelve of the potions in each of them. I think they already went through half of the first one.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)12:41 No.16982398
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    In an evil temple I pulled a sword out of an alter. I had to keep killing people with it and drain there soul or it would drain mine.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)12:56 No.16982496
    A ring that prevents drunkness. hahahah
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)12:57 No.16982502
    A DM recently introduced an item into our campaign. It was a silver disk with a large hole in the middle. Apparently the badguys used it to pass messages and items. He had planned for us to use it to undermine their efforts with forged messages or something.

    We threw it in a lake.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)13:07 No.16982559
    I once offered my players a "magic" flesh-tonned wedding ring that would make a married wearer more appealing to those who would normally distance themselves for 5 gp. surprised how long it took them to understand the concept and that one player wanted to buy it because it was "magic".
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)13:08 No.16982561
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    My friend is running a game of modified D&D 3.5 for 3 of my other friends. One of them is playing a 'halberdier', which is one of the classes the DM made up. It's his attempt to balance a melee without spells with a caster. One of the class features is that if he has a piercing polearm, he gets his damaged multiplied when he charges for a distance of his movement speed or less. His damage is multiplied by x2 at level five, x3 at level 10, x4 at level 15, and x5 at level 20. Also, at level 14 he will be able to do this on any charge and at level 20 he gets Pounce. And that's not even all of his class features. He's about level 10 now.

    One night, my DM rolled on the random loot table and the halberdier got the Gáe Bulg. Yes, THAT Gáe Bulg. The Belly Spear, The Spear of Mortal Pain. The one used by the legendary Cuchulainn that killed everyone he stabbed it with.

    And what were the stats on the Gáe Bulg, you ask?




    Small wonder the DM decided to start over with a new system he made afterwards....
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)14:21 No.16983087

    That's pretty bad-ass.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)14:25 No.16983105
    in my current campaign, I finished the first session by describing a large stone sphere lying in the nest of the giant firebugs the party had slain. The human wizard picked it up, failed his fort save and fell to the ground nauseated.

    The sphere is a magic item based of the sympathy and antipathy spells. It attracts any firebug within 1 mile, and causes any human holds it to fort save or vomit.

    Its an item of some importance which I have decided yet, but was purposefully left near a human frontier town by an evil shifter cleric.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)14:35 No.16983149
    I... don't get it?
    It's a flesh-toned ring that makes married people hot?
    How is that not magic?
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)14:45 No.16983201
    bored, so i'll share my dumb story
    back in highschool our DM gave us some crap items. he gave us a ring that turned the wearer into an immobile stone statue, a ring that disentigrated the wearer's finger, and a magical spehere of immense wieght (so heavy that i couldn't be picked by normal means). the last one at least proved of some use when we loaded into the bag of holding and saved it for the right moment. sure enough, about 4 sessions later we were in a mc escher style physics free room where we could walk up the walls, where he spawned an earth elemental infront of us. i basically told the rouge to run to the ceiling and ordered him to loosen the strap on the bag and pitch it twoards the elemental's head (we needed to kill it fast due to being injured and out of spells from earlier battles). our DM like my idea and allowed us to make the roll. upon succes, basically the bag flew open and dropped the orb onto the elemental's head and shattered it in one strike. our DM literally made this in an effort to show "not every magic item is useful" by trying to make the most pointless item ever. joke was on him when we finished that battle in less than 2 rounds.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)14:59 No.16983278
    Gave a halfling ranger in my party a "Ring of Suggestions" about 3 months ago. What it does, is the wearer can make suggestions to it (Sort of like really weak wishes) and then the ring has a percentage chance to grant them depending on how big the wish is. The kicker is that you have to word what you want very specifically. The other night the ranger said "I wish my arrows were on fire" because the part was fighting a few trolls, and had no fire or poison. The rangers quiver caught on fire instead of what he had intended, so that was good for a laugh.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)15:12 No.16983343

    It was a wedding ring that was hard to notice. That's it, that's the entire "magic" of it. People who would normally respect marriages would not have the visual cue of a wedding ring to warn them away.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)15:41 No.16983495
    Bump for laughs!
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)16:42 No.16983864
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)16:47 No.16983887
    Yesterday my DM made the lucky charm my character uses to meditate into a magic item that would warn me if my actions would lead to an alignment change. Not quite sure what to do with it though. I like my character as he is and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to do something that would lead to an alignment change.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)16:52 No.16983906
    Thats...thats really quite powerfull.

    Get one bigass nail and procede to destroy walls, and damn near anything else that you can place a 2m nail against and then hit with the hammer.
    Good siege weapon that, tell me...if there is nothing infront of the hammer, would the nail fly and embedd itself fully into the first thing it contacts?
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)16:52 No.16983910
    " You turn into a wolf, then you have an incredible orgasm, and finally you turn into a dogperson."
    My poor eyes.
    You never said anything about furries.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)16:53 No.16983916
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    A very powerful item indeed.
    Make a carpenter warrior with various types of nails of varying metals. Nail the enemy to death, nail giants to death, nail the very gods to death, nail death itself to death(is that even possible?)

    >mfw nailing through adamantine armor with an iron nail
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)16:54 No.16983926
    A skull that screams any time you make a mistake or forget something.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)16:59 No.16983962
    Bag of Useless Items:
    Looks like a bag of holding but produces items not normally useful in a fantasy setting.
    Like: Carburetor for a 1984 Trans-AM, 1d6 beanie babies (no unicorns), 1d4 AAA batteries, a TV remote control (uses AA batteries), etc, etc.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)17:02 No.16983977
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)17:06 No.16984004
    The Beard of Dwarven Ancestry
    It changes you into a dwarf while worn.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)17:13 No.16984065
    What happens if dorfs wear it?
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)17:19 No.16984119
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    I didn't know about it either until I played around with it afterwards. I omit those effects.

    Then again, you can also get pic related.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)17:23 No.16984140
    He becomes the perfect dwarf, true Urist McUrist.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)17:24 No.16984157
    Once way back in the dark ages of playing Forgotten Realms in 3.5, my friend was playing a giant robot who was fueled by magic. He was resurrected from Netheril or something. Anyways, we were fighting our way through this crazy drow-related plot and we found some powerful amulet. I was the rogue/magic item specialist, so I investigated the amulet. I couldn't figure out what it did, so my robot friend ate it, thus powering himself for the next thousand years. Our DM was so mad that we ate his quest item.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)17:28 No.16984188
    a pebble that when placed in a pot will perfectly boil eggs no matter how long they are placed in it
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)17:30 No.16984214
    Once the DM gave me an "Infinite Torch", as the name implies, it doesn't wear out, but only could be used when "it's touched by daylight" -.-
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)17:32 No.16984229

    That, my friend, is the perfect railroading item, i would throw it to a lake if i were you
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)17:35 No.16984260
    Like a Rememberall crossed with Car Alarm?
    >> Finder Wyvernspur 11/21/11(Mon)17:36 No.16984265
    our DM had us fight "Demonic pooh bears"...evil versions of winne the pooh, with bee hive battle hammers that shot a version or africanized honeybees. we enchanted the honeybees with regeneration so they regrow their stingers.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)17:43 No.16984319

    Double Dwarf
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)17:45 No.16984337
    Make a modified nail gun with this and Mage Hand, fire rail spikes, you're going to ruin the world with that thing.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)18:01 No.16984471
    +2 Adamantium Ladder
    It also gave a bonus to profession (Lawyer) when equipped
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)18:08 No.16984525
    The Staff of Distraction:
    Emits an extremely loud and annoying buzzing sound when not held. This sound is so distracting that nobody can focus on doing much of anything. No magic can be successfully cast, no abilities can be used, all rolls will probably fail.
    The rod will float after the last person to touch it. When you hold the rod, it stops buzzing for everybody except the person who is holding it.
    >> Team Grunt 11/21/11(Mon)18:17 No.16984586

    It's a stepladder, not a ladder.

    (Did I get the correct reference?)
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)18:21 No.16984606
    Nope, 10 foot ladder made of adamantuim.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)18:21 No.16984610
    Rimg of Bic
    basically turned my thumb into a lighter.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)18:21 No.16984612
    My DM once gave me an item that could change the world polarity...
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)18:22 No.16984623
    what reference were you thinking?
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)18:25 No.16984639
    my DM gave me a complete deck of many things because she didn't really understand its power
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)18:25 No.16984644
    A DM I had once gave us a human throwing dagger. When it was thrown at an enemy, it threw the human party members through the air.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)18:26 No.16984650
    How is that possible without not reading the description?
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)18:28 No.16984666
    new DM, ended up giving us a huge amount of magic items on a frequent basis, then got mad that we wouldnt play her story the exact way we wanted it and dropped a level 27 demon on our poor level 8 party
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)18:29 No.16984680
    correction: the exact way SHE wanted it
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)18:31 No.16984703
    Should've had it draw a card from the deck. You would actually stand a chance that way.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)18:33 No.16984722
    yeah, she was the picture of bad DM. Overly weaboo, had an over powered DMPC, didn't know half the rules and only was here because she was my best friends gf and wanted to try dming
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)18:37 No.16984746
    Ick. Did she at least join a game before that to learn the rules?
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)18:37 No.16984750
    Telminsier's Bow of Hilarious Confusion (+5 Longbow)
    On a to hit roll that is an even number (before modifiers), the target and the firer switch places, counting as having teleported.
    On a to hit roll that is an odd number (before modifiers), the target moves D6 squares directly towards the firer, counting as having teleported.
    If target has immunity to being teleported, neither effect occurs
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)18:39 No.16984774
    Telminsier's Ring of Dimensional Fuckery
    At the start of each encounter, roll a D10:
    1 - Acid
    2 - Fire
    3 - Cold
    4 - Lightning
    5 - Force
    6 - Necrotic
    7 - Poison
    8 - Radiant
    9 - Psychic
    10 - Thunder
    For the duration of that encounter, the wearer of the ring has resistance 10 against the the rolled damage type. However, If the wearer is struck by an attack which overcomes the resistance, the ring's affects are nullified for the rest of the encounter.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)18:40 No.16984786
    she did but was slightly smarter then a brick and had no idea what she was doing. She was also the party cleric so....tpk's where everywhere. She would wright the game for the day like an hour before we would play and had no concept of homebrew and when we tried anything outside of HER STORY it would lead to shit like
    ME: I attack that NPC
    HER: you can't
    ME: like fuck I can *nat 20*
    HER: he has fifty billion hit points your attack does nothing
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)18:41 No.16984791
    Telminsier's Rad-as-all-Hell Hat
    When you put this hat on, choose one of your at will powers. That power deals fire damage in addition to its normal damage types, and also causes ongoing 5 fire damage (save ends) in addition to any other effects. This effect only happens when you are wearing the hat (on your head).
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)18:42 No.16984803
    You need an oldie from my group: Arrow of DM Slaying
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)18:43 No.16984816
    Telminsier's Fiendish Puzzlebox
    This puzzlebox takes a DC25 Knowledge check to open, and opening it takes a full round where the user cannot do anything else. If successful, roll a D10 on the table below:
    1 - Lemure
    2 - Imp
    3 - Bearded Devil
    4 - Chain Devil
    5 - Erinyes
    6 - Bone Devil
    7 - Barbed Devil
    8 - Ice Devil
    9 - Horned Devil
    10 - Pit Fiend
    (the summoned creatures cannot summon other creatures using their own abilities)
    The rolled creature immediately appears adjacent to the user (or as close as possible) and does nothing except attack those hostile to the user. It disappears after D3 rounds. During thier next round, the user of the puzzlebox must pass a DC25 Will save or must attempt to open the puzzlebox again.

    Each time the puzzlebox is opened beyond the first opening each encounter, roll a D10. On a 10 or more, the summoned creature is instead hostile to the user of the box. This roll has a +1 bonus for each cumulative opening of the box beyond the first.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)18:45 No.16984839
    Yeah after her little story ended I decided to DM to remind the group what it looks like.....she did not like dark sun to much.....also the tomb of horrors is now in Athas.........she left
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)18:47 No.16984861
    That's too bad, she deserved torture. Worse torture.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)18:48 No.16984874
    Telminsier's Totally Innocent Dagger, Honest (+3 Dagger)
    The corpse of anything slain by this dagger becomes invisible.
    However, each time the user kills someone sentient with the dagger, they become progressively more paranoid that they'll be found out. Each time they kill with the dagger, they must pass a DC5 Will test or every creature slain by the dagger will lose its invisibility, and will have convinient evidence to accuse the user of the murders. This Will save increases by 5 with each killing.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)18:50 No.16984893
    I had a character in 3.5 that gained like 10 levels from being in many one-shots with several different DMs. Being something of a pack-rat, he kept any and all of the weird items the DMs would throw in the games.

    I'd have to dig out the sheet to remember most of the crap he had, but one of my favorites was his "cursed" belt of strength. The DM gave our party a treasure that was full of gear with supposedly annoying curses on them. My melee-centric character promptly put on the belt of strength that was in the pile.

    DM: You turn into a woman.
    Me: What?
    DM: You put on the belt and turn into a woman.
    Me: Oooooookay. I take it off?
    DM: You turn back into a man.
    Me: So I can freely put it on and take it off.
    DM: Yes.
    Me: And it still makes me stronger.
    DM: Yes.
    Me: *shrugs and puts the belt back on*

    I think the DM was thinking we would use this stuff for a session and then sell or dump it. Screw that. My character had a perfectly good magical belt. I couldn't see the downside (aside from being teased for being stronger as a woman than a man).
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)18:52 No.16984933
    Telminsier's Dice of Dickery
    This is a set of five six-sided dice. One is gold, one silver, one ruby, one emerald, and one sapphire
    Instead of attacking, the user can choose a visible enemy within 6 squares and roll the dice. All five must be rolled at the same time, any less and nothing will happen.
    Roll five irl D6! Preferably of the right colours!
    If the gold dice rolls the highest, the target takes 2D6 Force damage and is knocked prone
    If the silver dice rolls the highest, the target takes 2D6 Thunder damage and is pushed away from the user D3 squares
    If the ruby dice rolls the highest, the target takes 2D6 Fire damage and suffers ongoing 5 fire damage (save ends)
    If the emerald dice rolls the highest, the target takes 2D6 Acid damage and is stunned
    If the sapphire dice rolls the highest, the target takes 2D6 Cold damage and suffers a -2 penalty on their next attack roll
    If two or more dice are tied for the highest roll, apply all the effects caused by the highest rolls.
    If all five dice roll the same number, the target is obliterated, and everything adjacent takes 3D10 damage. Nothing remains of those slain by this roll, except pairs of smoking boots. Even if they weren't wearing any
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)18:53 No.16984942
    Hash Cannon

    A 9 barreled plasmagun that uses a hashmap to (theoretically) keep it from firing any one barrel too often and overheating

    It was a simple thing that took the tens place of the dice, added it to the ones, if the result >= 10 it subtracts ten, giving it a range between 0 and 9

    Whatever that number X is it did Xd10+X E with X Pen

    Players took a while to figure it out, ended up saying "Screw this gun" when a zero was rolled and it failed to fire on an enemy who had an autocannon. Needless to say the player did not survive
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)18:55 No.16984960
    we once found invisible illusion pebbles.
    You could throw them like normal pebbles and they'd deal damage, however they were invisible, weightless (only the illusion of weight) and indestructible.
    We used them to play with a troll.

    stuff our group's wizard made:
    >He made an axe-blade from indestructable magic ice that sticks to his staff (it's only 60cm long so it's the perfect axe).
    >He made a giant barrel-holder from ice that cools your beer when you open the barrel.
    >we once collected honey and berries, mixed them with a lot of water and magically froze that to a long stick. So we had a giant-sized popsicle which we fed to a troll.
    >A shield that, when struck, releases a burst of water that deals a shitton of damage to the guys hit and fills their lung with water
    >making a magical beard made of fog that sticked to one of our groups chins (he had no beard, so the wizard made him a spare one from fog)
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)18:56 No.16984974
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    >So we had a giant-sized popsicle which we fed to a troll.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)18:58 No.16984994
    Gave my party a glowing wax stick for dungoneering. they haven't really tested it out but if you draw a specific shape (arrow, X, circle, etc) the mark will in 1d4 minutes grow into an ooze that homes in on the wax stick. The ooze is not friendly.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)18:59 No.16984997
    Haha, i would use that to flirt with guards, take them to some dark alley and knock them out
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)19:03 No.16985022
    Take off the belt when the guard is inside of you.

    Massive crushing damage on his penis.

    Damage isn't localized in DnD.

    Knock out the guard.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)19:03 No.16985023
    we found this red chalk stick that never wore out, and the lines we drew with it couldnt be removed except by the user. the GM intended it as a throwaway item, but we used it for unbreakable summoning circles
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)19:07 No.16985056
    I honestly am far worse when it comes to building them in character. It doesn't hurt that I'm decently good at drawing up schematics.

    Like the time I created "A cylinder just big enough to fit an armored gauntlet in with a shitload of blades at the end and a crank to spin them with". Had diagrams and everything

    DM laughs and lets me make it dubs it "stupidist thing ever". I proceed to start making fruit smoothies with what is very clearly a medieval blender. Then I sell them to rich nobles and make lots of money. I have a really bad habit of doing this shit, enough so that sometimes the DM just goes ahead and lets my character have this shit before I figure out how to leverage it in. It gets even more fun when magic is involved.

    That's how we ended up with the Traveler's Inn, a carriage that had a full blown inn stored in a pocket dimension just beyond the door. Next thing you know we've signed on with the merchants guild and are considered the best form of travel available.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)19:16 No.16985131
    I feel obliged to mention that said troll is now one of our best friends.

    We also befriended a mythical troll.
    He was hiding a very very old and legendary sword and in order to make his job easier, we put a stone-elemental into his cave that would fend off attackers and seal the cave when you tell him a code word. (or rather: it's always closed and he only opens it for people that know the codeword).
    That was phase one of our plan: Hiding and protecting the cave.
    Part two was: fabricating tales of fiction and falsehood.
    We made a sword (that vaguely resembles the legendary sword as it's described in the legends) and put a spell on it to make it able to cut anything like butter for three swings.
    We went back to our village, showed it to a high mage (who knew the plan) and made him cut through a rock. Then have another guy (a really muscled guy that didn't know about this plan) cut through a rock as well. And the last and final cut was spared for a little girl that was aged 7.
    Once people saw a little girl cutting a huge boulder like it was made of wax they instantly believed it was the legendary sword.
    It is now well hidden in the deepest of dungeons in an allied magic academy where noone will ever be able to tell the lie.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)19:18 No.16985144
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    My masterwork was an airship I modified and drew up a small book worth of schematics for. The DM ruled that I could alter parts of an Apparatus of Kwalish and scale them up. As far as I mentioned, I wanted the atmospheric seals and the legs as landing gear. What the actual schematics contained was rather more advanced.

    The DM had ruled that an air elemental's control over air allowed it to single out elements and control their form a while back, presumably to use high oxygen environments to start fires.

    So, I immediately befriended one of them and asked if he could force oxygen into a solid. DM rules yes.

    And then the DM realized that he'd just given me solid oxygen boosters and an airship that's atmospherically sealed. Cue a poor man's Spell Jammer. And if that wasn't awesome enough the atmospheric seals and the legs (landing gear) weren't the only parts of the Apparatus I kept...
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)19:20 No.16985162
    We played a post-apocalyptic game of awesomeness and it involved an old Ask Zandar game that the party worshipped as their god, except for one nonbeliever. Also, the party always dreamed of "A red porsche" which by this time was a mystery item. What was it? Porsche was meaningless at this time, but a piece of ancient literature that became a holy book that was actually some guy's journal listed it as "the ultimate". The nonbeliever died in a rockslide, he was me.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)19:21 No.16985168
    I once developed an AH Rifle for a Stargate-themed Corporation game I ran. Unfortunately it never got used, as the campaign ended soon after someone picked it up. I basically made it specifically to dick over one member of the party.

    The campaign was Atlantis-based, and the early sessions were basically exploring the city and finding shit I'd made up on the spot. This one player was going completely against orders and lifting everything he could get away with. Orders were to leave everything as it was in case something was dangerous.

    So I invented a hidden armoury. Accessible only by a teleporter. He specialised in making Ancient tech work, so he ended up there pretty quickly. Knowing that no-one knew what was there, he nicked this gun and managed to blag to his commanding officer that he'd always had it.

    Anyone worked out what AH stands for yet? Yes. An Hero. If he'd ever pulled the trigger, it would have backfired on him not quite hard enough to kill him, but enough to knock him completely out of the fight. One does not come back from severe damage easily in Corp. Shame the campaign ended due to it being my first attempt at GMing, and my not being very good at it. Or really knowing the Corp system.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)19:25 No.16985210
    I like to add magic items that are technically useful but not in a combat setting. For instance, in one module I ran the party was exploring an abandoned mansion. They came across a length of cord that when held by one end looped around and changed color to depict something akin to a shadow puppet show, a music stand that turned the music sheets for you as you played (They took the book thinking it was the magic item. Didn't even bother to cast detect magic.), and a small rag that cleaned any surface without water or cleaning solutions (which they only took because they did cast detect magic funnily enough).
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)19:29 No.16985246
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    List relevant to thread
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)19:32 No.16985278
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)19:34 No.16985298
    Is it wrong I can abuse almost all of those?
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)19:38 No.16985324
    A scroll case with a slider that made candles of two colors, depending on the slider. Once it burned through the white length and hit the blue length, it started making a horrible screaming noise. It could make five candles at a time, but they burned down really quickly (about ten minutes worth of light, not to mention the screaming) and they were vulnerable to all the usual candle stuff.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)19:45 No.16985372
    A new DM gave me a gun where I make 3 attack rolls each iteration of attack. Each hit deals 1d10+10 points of damage. I killed several pit fiends at level 5.

    An experienced DM gave me a pair of magic swords with vampire touch on hit, caster level equal to character level. They also allow me to use all the two weapon fighting feats for free with the pair of them only. I could routinely use iajutsu focus to deal +10d6 points of damage on a draw-strike. I was a gish. I looked at him like he was a crazy person, because I could roll a theoretical +23d6 of damage on a full attack against a flat footed opponent.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)19:45 No.16985373
    Is it wrong that #15 is giving me a chubby?
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)19:52 No.16985414
    The turk-wise rock (sometimes appearing as a foo-chizer rock) This rock is either turquoise or fuchsia. If you drop it, throw it away or otherwise get rid of it, it comes back to your pocket. This rock has been in pretty much every campaign anyone in my circle of friends has run for about three years now.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)19:53 No.16985419
    No. The first use I thought of was using in a hidden area while looking at an important diplomat to embarrass them
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)19:56 No.16985441
    You're taking pride in driving someone away from your favorite hobby, because you dislike the way they play it.

    You're kind of a douchebag dude.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)19:59 No.16985459
    Dat whiteknight.
    If we had been told the horrible GM was a guy you would react as you would with any That Guy, admit it.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)20:06 No.16985514
    There are many ways to fix a That Guy.
    Unfortunately not many people are willing to punch them in their face.
    But if they get kicked out of enough groups, they might see they might be the problem
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)20:17 No.16985591
    nice thread!

    Currently in the campaign i am playing, i have a necklace that when i die my body comes back to life as an abomination with half of all my habilities.
    I got it from a "Box of Random", well that was not the name, but i can't remember it right now haha
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)20:20 No.16985615
    Ahahahaha. Nice
    How did he handle that?
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)20:27 No.16985645
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)20:35 No.16985686
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    We had a level three party. We came across some dude who wanted to show us a "card trick." Little did we know it was a Deck of Many Things. Little did we know the NPC's intentions of having us draw from it. Come to think of it, I still don't.

    Anyway, by the next session, we were all different alignments, level 9, and and were fighting a swarm of wraiths. I don't even.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)20:43 No.16985728
    For weird items my PCs used:

    -Orb of Fortunetelling
    Allows the user to get a general idea someone's future an hour from that time. Except that by telling them that future, you have inherently changed their actions. My party trusted in it so much they would stop everywhere and use it, giving them a false confidence that screwed them over more than once.

    For powerful items that backfired:
    -Cowl of the Banshee
    A Cowl that, when worn, replaces the user's speech with a powerful Wail of the Banshee. The rest of the party died when the Warlock used it in a small cavern with an echo, then he got mauled by a monster that made a Fort save while he was unable to cast spells due to being mute.
    -Dagger/Bow of the Hunt
    A bow that always hits a marked target, and the accompanying dagger that magically marks anything it hits. Ended up killing the party's Warrior when everyone forgot the Troll they killed was marked, stripping it's hide and later complimenting his armor with it.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)21:45 No.16986146
    Hey, we should archive this, i think it's complete enough
    This thread will produce many lols in future campaings, i am sure of it haha
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)21:49 No.16986174
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    >>-Dagger/Bow of the Hunt
    A bow that always hits a marked target, and the accompanying dagger that magically marks anything it hits. Ended up killing the party's Warrior when everyone forgot the Troll they killed was marked, stripping it's hide and later complimenting his armor with it.

    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)21:49 No.16986175
    You are so dumb
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)22:21 No.16986389
    I don't think he is dumb, it was really bad explained
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)23:49 No.16986918

    2/4 votes already!

    The guy that is usually GM in my group always give us shitty items that somehow we end up using to save our asses. For example, we emptied a cave of trolls throwing a stink bomb we got from some kind of ninja, and i think that was the most usefull random item we got from him
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)23:53 No.16986940
    You serious? suptg is our own space for this.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)23:58 No.16986960
    "What a bargain!" exclaimed one of my players. "A ring of regeneration for only 40 gold!"
    Another player looked at me with a smirk. "You sure this isn't a -little- overpowered for a level 2 character to find? 1d6 hitpoints -per round-?"
    I was confident in my decision, even as a first time DM. The party member who got to wear it, a usually squishy assassin, felt like it really gave him an edge in combat, just that bit of extra padding to let him make it the extra mile. He and the party went through an entire day of questing and combat with this item. At the end of the day, when he laid down to rest, he realised that the wounds healed by the ring had been regenerated from flesh of the being that caused them - and he now had spearholes of kobold scales, axe-cuts of goblin hide and teeth puncture marks of dire rat fur.

    So began the quest to find a church to rid him of the bodily intrusion. God knows what I would've done if he'd sustained any major organ damage.
    >> Anonymous 11/21/11(Mon)23:58 No.16986962
    i'm kind of a newfag in this board, i didn't know that we have an archive for /tg/...
    >> Anonymous 11/22/11(Tue)00:03 No.16986986
    270lbs of brooms
    >> Anonymous 11/22/11(Tue)03:42 No.16987955
    The most stupid thing I ever gave my players was a bag-pipe that turned you invisible when you played it.
    >> Anonymous 11/22/11(Tue)03:45 No.16987968
    Then lurk more and don't post for the first few weeks until you know something about the board
    >> Anonymous 11/22/11(Tue)03:45 No.16987969
    I present: The Quest Item

    A cursed object of unknown origin that, when picked up, cannot be dropped or removed from the new owner's possession.

    It's more akin to a Wizard putting the "Quest" curse on w/e object he wants. So if someone steals a fairly large chest, it can't be put down.

    It's a play on all those games that don't let you remove quest items from your inventory, but have a fucking weight cost, or never trigger an actual quest. So you're left with some brass statue that is worth literally nothing and weighs 20 units.
    >> Painful Elegy 11/22/11(Tue)03:49 No.16987984

    >ramming giant
    >not releasing dagger then turning right after

    silly guy.
    >> Anonymous 11/22/11(Tue)04:05 No.16988085
    Cursed novelty t-shirt, attempting to remove reveals there is another novelty t-shirt underneath!

    Case in point, our orc barbarian put it on, it said "I'm with stupid", rips it off, underneath is another t-shirt with a well known gimmicky slogan.

    Hours of entertainment.
    >> Anonymous 11/22/11(Tue)04:52 No.16988321
    Made a feedbag of balls, he wanted an everfull feedbag (or whatever it's called) for his horse but kept bitching about how he didn't think he should have to spend that much on it and how cheated he would feel if he got that for a part of a treasure horde. So I said that they found a feedbag, or whatever, laying at the side of the road. Assumptions were made due to the bitching, and my hints that touching it gave a small feeling of magical enchantment.

    He tried to put it on his horse at their next stop, but every time he tried the horse would freak out until it came off. They couldn't figure it out until one of them tried detecting. After a shot investigated they pierced this minor illusion. To their horror, it was eternally full of testicles. Yeah, kind of stupid, but I was tired of his bitching.
    >> Anonymous 11/22/11(Tue)05:20 No.16988469
    Barbarian had a +1 Berzerking battleaxe; Had a little wolf-head on the blade, thaat comped and bit when the barbarian raged.

    We didn't realise that the axe was actually spreading lycanthropy to anything it hit.
    >> Anonymous 11/22/11(Tue)07:43 No.16989170
    Fire Throwing Knife and Shuriken, you couldn't grab/throw them because they were on fire, unless you wanted to hurt yourself
    >> Anonymous 11/22/11(Tue)07:55 No.16989235
    Recently i got a cape that gives me the ability to transform into a bat, but it atracts vampires, so it's not revomended to use at night :/
    >> Anonymous 11/22/11(Tue)07:59 No.16989259
    >herp derp
    If someone can contribute something to the thread they shouldn't stop because they are newfags
    >> Anonymous 11/22/11(Tue)08:15 No.16989313
    The gentleman's blade - a +5 rapier which is infused with the soul of a cowardly pacifist. He refuses to take part in any sort of action that would bring harm to others. He does however, have a wide knowledge of fine cheeses and wine.
    >> Anonymous 11/22/11(Tue)08:21 No.16989340
    Hahahahah! i love it, i would totally carry it with a suit, monocle and a tophat to nobelty parties and amuse everyone about "my" knowledge of wines
    I could get it on with a lot of fictional ladies!

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