The Kill Team has returned to the Looted Krooza, above the world of Surat Thani, the cemetery world for the sector's Guardsmen. Studio 69 and the Doggpound are in orbit. They appear to be holding. A steady stream of troops is flowing from each ship to the surface. Wurrza is meditating, and trying out his zappy powers on squigs, attempting to start a barbecue. 'Eadmangla is thinking of ways to loot some XV-9 armor himself. As the doors to the Last Danca open, Grakgut steps out...and crumples to the ground, asleep.

"Iz... wots dat smell?" asks Kroz.

'Eadmangla attempts to put Grakgut out...and catches on fire himself. 'Eadmangla is now running around on fire, while Grakgut begins sleepwalking, while still on fire. See, Grakgut has enough toughness to completely eat fire damage. He also is regenerating fatigue as fast as the fire gives it. So as long as he is on fire, he stays asleep. Grakgut is in a state of fiery quantum balance.

"OI! OI! NO FIRE ON ME SHIP!" yells Kroz.
"DA FIRE HURTS!" replies 'Eadmangla.
"Oy, ya didn't have ta start cookin' yerselves first!" says Wurrza.

After a bit of searching, Kroz finds some blanket squigs, and tosses some to 'Eadmangla, who puts himself out. He then looks at Grakgut sleepwalking away.
"Best not bother 'im..." mutters 'Eadmangla.
"Dun let'im walk inta da fuel tanks or weeze'll go fast da wrong way!" says Kroz.

At this point, the voxcaster starts blaring. "Oy boss!" yells Uzgob, "Da skanna jamma's blarin' again! Dis wun looks interestin'!"
Kroz switches to the main screen for the Skanna Jamma.
"-and today, we will rout the disgusting Xenos where they stand!" says a voice. "The Eldar claim dominion over this world, but by the Emperor we shall see them burn! All able ships are advised to meet outside the orbit of Scholar's Rest!"
'Eadmangla gets a serious mad-on.
"We shall show them the fury of the Imperiu-" as the signal cuts out.

"Doze Panzees ain't takin' a world on MY wotch!" yells Kroz, "Clarence! Git me to da bridge!"
"Of course, boss!" says Clarence, as he points at Grakgut walking off, "Is he going to be okay?"
"'e'z just sleepy!" says Kroz.
Wazgor decides to follow Grakgut as Clarence brings Wurrza, Kroz, and 'Eadmangla to the bridge.
"Awright! ALL BOYZ GIT YER SLUGGAS AND YER CHOPPAS ALL GUD, IZ TIME TA HUNT DA POINTY'EADED PANZEES! ERE WE GO!" yells Kroz, though 'Eadmangla pushes the button before Kroz can reach it. Da Looted Krooza forces itself into the warp.

"Ya GIT! KROOZA WUZN'T READY YET! I DIDN'T SEZ DA FUN FINGS!" yells Kroz.

What the shit.

The trip is estimated at four days. Yet, it seems longer. Time just seems so...slow. Wazgor has been following Grakgut around for what seems like weeks.'Eadmangla decides to take this time to train his grot Dak in the Art of the Kommando. This training seemingly goes on for weeks. Everyone's nearly at their wits end from all this waiting around.

"Ya may be ready, but ya 'ave ta make a disguise tah go with me," says 'Eadmangla.
"Right boss!" yells Dak as he runs off.

"DATS IT. IZ JUS GUNNA KICK YOUZE TILL IT WERKS!" yells Kroz as he walks to the Warp drive and starts kicking it.

'Eadmangla then decides to find Grakgut, and get some surgery done to make Dak sneakier. Heading around the hallways, 'Eadmangla sees Grakgut still sleepwalking. Wazgor is following. He looks haggard.
"'EADMANGLA!" cries Wazgor.
"Wut?" replies 'Eadmangla.
"I'Z BEEN FOLLOWIN' 'IM FOR..." Wazgor takes a moment to count his fingers, "DIS MANY DAYS! 'E HASN'T SAID A WORD!"
"Dat's eerie..." mutters 'Eadmangla.

'Eadmangla finds a nearby squig blanket, and tries to put out Grakgut. He luckily succeeds, and Grakgut collapses for a few minutes. Grakgut finally wakes up.
"owi, you'z been sleepin' too much!" says 'Eadmangla.
"Oi feel....gud." exclaims Grakgut, "Loik a milleeeon teef!"
Grakgut jumps to his feet.
"Oi dreamt uv... sumting. Kan't remembah, but oi need ta git sum surjery dun!" he yells as he makes his way to the Painbay.

>>16900887

Shas'o's all-ork Rogue Trader game. He promised us weekly updates.

Entering the painbay, Grakgut and 'Eadmangla see Grakkar running in circles. "IT'Z TAKIN' SO LONG!" he yells. Uzgob is there too, fiddling with some gubbinz.
"Wutz takin' so long?" asks Grakgut.
"We'ze been travellin' foreva!" says Uzgob, "It'z borin'."
"owi, quick!, wot could ya do ta make sumfing see betta?" asks 'Eadmangla.
"Dependz" says Grakgut.
"Like, make a grot...less grot, more boy?" asks 'Eadmangla, "but still good at grotfings, like hidan, or seein?"
"Oi kuld try dat..." thinks Grakgut, "Git me dis grot, gotta prep 'im fer surjery. Den git me sum uv dis sneaky stuff. DEN foind me a sneaky gitz body ta yoose."

Grakgut's grot manservant Grakkagrak eventually brings in Dak, and a very squishy squig.
"Soz da proseeeja iz eazy. Put on deze squishy bitz, give 'im bettah kneez ta curl inta a ball wit, den put on dat sneaky stuff!" exclaims Grakgut, "Wanna watch me surjery? Youze kan be me nerse!"
"Okay..." says 'Eadmangla worryingly.
"Now 'erez wut yoo do: Anyfing oi ask," says Grakgut as he pulls on his squigskin gloves, "TOIME FER SURJERY!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DH8zmC-GeRc

Grakgut begins the procedure by knocking out the grot. While unconscious, he begins flaying the grot of unneeded skin. A little bit of super glue and a couple rivets later, the new Cameleoline Skin is integrated into Dak's body. Grakgut then proceeds to lop off Dak's legs and replace them with double-jointed squig-bitz. After an agonizing half hour of surgery, Dak wakes up. His legs are quite squishy.

"Boss? I..." he unconsciously pops into morph ball mode.
"Bettah lern kontrol fer dat!" says Grakgut.
Dak practices Morph-balling for a bit. Wurrza looks at the spectacle. "That jus' ain't right..." he mutters as he begins to telekinetically dribble the morph ball, the grot screaming the entire way through.

"Now. Go an' 'ide. Oi wanna make shure yer skin iz gud enuff." says Grakgut. Though Dak fails stealth, Grakgut fails awareness harder, and thus is pleased at his medical miracle.

"Now. Oi want yoo ta practice wit Pliskin fer a bit, lern frum 'im!" Says Grakgut as he reaches in his pocket, "Oh! An' afore Oi ferget. Give dis ta Eaddy wen 'e wakez up." He hands him a bill for 30 teef. "Soience ain't cheap!" he yells as Dak rolls off.

Kroz, meanwhile is going batfuck insane. The Warp core is currently set to MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE, but they still seem so slow.
"WOT. DAT CAN'T BE PROPA. 'OW LONG WE BEEN IN'ERE?" cries Kroz.

After what seems like a horrifically agonizing four entire months in the warp, the ship finally shudders as the Kill Team arrives in wild space, outside the orbit of Scholar's Rest. There is a huge fleet coalescing among the blackness. The voxes pick up a signal.
"Space Marines!" says a voice, "Truly the emperor smiles upon us this day!"

"Dat wuz... Pointy, Krooza. Real Pointy'eaded of youze. I wuz finkin we'ad such a gud friendship..." sighs Kroz.
"Dis iz Deffwotch reportin' in. Point us towards da xenos dat need purgin'." says Wurrza to the voice.
"Of course, Deathwatch! Please come aboard our command cruiser." says one of the crewmen, "We can discuss the battle plan on board!"

"Iz'll Ready da Last Danca. Better make me mood betta..." says Kroz, who is quite upset.
"Yoo need ta work out yer diffrensez wit da ship." says Grakgut as he begins to reminisce, "Oi remembah back in med skool, dere wuz deze two gitz. Dey wuz best matez. But den, it turnz out, wun uv dem wuz usin' de otha wun fer free bludd! Yoo wuldn't believe da krumpin' dat git got. Aftawahdz...dey wuz nevah da same again."

The kill team boards (or in Wurrza and Boldo's case, floats) into the Last Danca, and they make their way across to the command ship, an Overlord Battlecruiser with a flash-looking bridge. Landing in one of the Overlord's bays, the players begin making their way to the bridge, escorted by a guardsman.

"Did we furget da ships birfday?" asks Grakgut.
"It sez it wuz goin fasta, but fasta ain't muckin about," says Kroz, "So'z I dunno."
"Meybe da ship THOT dat it wuz goin' fasta, but wuz aktually goin' slowa becuz weze fergot itz birfday!" says Grakgut, "Bettah trow a pahtey fer it."

The trip up to the bridge is a short jog. The players keep pace with the guardsman, and it looks like the time he jogged with an Astartes Kill Team is going to be a story to tell the grandkids. As they make enter the bridge, they notice it is surrounded by old balding dudes with cybernetics.

"Ah, Deathwatch!" says Old Balding White Dude #1, "It truly is a blessing to have you on our side."
"Indeed!" says Old Balding White Dude #2, "With you on our side there is no way we will lose to the Xenos."
"Weze won't know defeat. No, it'z da enemy dat'll know defeat! We'ze da DEFFWOTCH! WE'ZE DA EMPURAH'S FUREH!" yells Wurrza.
"Come closer," says Old Balding Ethnic Dude #1, "We will show you our battle plan!"
As the players examine the battle plan, two of the commanders goes off tangent.
"We shouldn't even be here, you know," says Old Balding White Dude #1, "This is all after the team of a near-heretical Rogue Trader assassinated the Planetary Governor of Scholar's Rest."
"Without him, military operations fell apart." says Old Balding White Dude #2, "We're just cleaning up the mess."
"Wot 'appened to da Rogue Trada?" asks Grakgut, "woz 'umie justice fast enuff ta catch'im?"
"The Rogue Trader's team proved themselves non-heretical and heroes." says Old Balding White Dude #1, "We are told the Rogue Trader died a death fitting a heretic."
"Sanktioned dey may be, but if a Rogue Trada's flirtin' wit' hair-a-see, dey need ta be krumped." says Kroz.
"We would like to extend the honor of you leading the charge, noble Astartes." says Old Balding Ethnic Dude #1.
"DA DEFFWOTCH WULD'AVE IT NO OTHA WAY, OLD BALDIN' ETHNIC 'UMIE OF NUMERICAL CONNOTATIONS. DA EMPRUH ALWAYS SEZ: MINCE DA ONIONS BEFORE YA FRITTER!"
"Wot Strength are da Eldar?" asks Wurrza.
"The Eldar have the space surrounding the planet completely blockaded, noble Librarian, though we do have some forces currently on ground." says Old Balding White Dude #2.

"ONLY WAY DEY AIN'T GUNNA BE 'SPECTIN A FRONTAL IZ WIF ONE IN DA BACK." says Kroz, "BUT...IZ NOT DEM USUAL WAYZ IZ IT? WOTS DEY WANTS WITH A ROKK?"
"We are told they believe this to be one of their Maiden Worlds," says Old Balding Ethnic Dude #2, "A preposterous claim in the eyes of the Emperor, of course."
"WHAT WE'ZE GUNNA DO IS SHOW 'EM WE'ZE ABOVE DERE TRICKERY. WE'ZE ROKK'EM HEAD ON THROUGH DA FRONT!" declares Grakgut.
"We shall follow your lead then, Deathwatch." says Old Balding White Dude #1, "May the Emperor guide your blades."
"TA NOT USE YER NOGGINZ IZ DENYIN DA TEACHINS OF DA EMPRUH. DA COD DEX SEZ: MEASURE TWICE, CUT ONCE." says Kroz.
"We'ze honored, elderly 'umies of deficient 'air." says Wurrza.

The players
then head to the Enginarium of the Overlord.
"OY, COGBOY!" yells Grakgut, "WE'ZE GOT A PROBLEM WIF OUR SHIP!"
"Yes, Astartes?" asks the Techpriest.
"Da ship iz muckin' about. Can ya give it an inspekshun?" asks Grakgut.
"Of course, we shall assemble a team forthwith!" the techpriest says, as he runs off. As Grakgut turns to leave, he notices something else in one of the passageways of the Enginarium. A blue light. Heading toward it, the players see a familiar face.
"Got somethin' that might interest ya, heh heh heh..." says the Merchant

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9l_XYNYczI

Grakgut and Kroz both fail to acquire Cortex Implants. 'Eadmangla, however, gets a replacement camo cloak. Wurrza acquires a team's worth of Stummers. Wazgor lucks out and grabs a good-quality Eldar Deathspinner. As their team acquisition, the players upgrade the pilot guns of the Last Danca from Big Shootas to Radcannons. The merchant walks off as everyone examines their new gear.

Heading back to the Looted Krooza, the Kill Team arrives just in time to meet the Techpriests, who are leaving.
"Astartes, we believe we have isolated the cause of your machine spirit's maladies." says a techpriest.
"Oy, and wozza cause?" asks Wurrza.
"We note that it has been 2.2 months since last repair. Your ship feels...neglected."
"When's da ship's birfday?" asks Grakgut.
"I am afraid we were unable to glean that information, Astartes. It seems information regarding this ship is lost. We hope we were of assistance." The techpriest say as they leave.

"Is awight. I knowz wot da problem iz. 'n Iz gunna do sum cleanin down dere pertty soon." says Kroz.
"Oy, boss!" says Uzgob as he runs up to the kill team, "Get a load a dis!"
Uzgob tosses the team a massive missile.
"Wutz dis? Mo' QAAMs?" asks Grakgut.
"Da computah gubbinz called dis wun a LASM!"
"Wuts a LASM?" asks Grakgut.
"Duno! But we'ze puttin' 30 on ya bomma!" says Uzgob.

>LASM: LASM: Long-ranged Air-to-Surface Missile. This missile cannot target air targets, but rerolls misses vs ground targets.

Grakgut orders Uzgob to try and figure out a good present for the ship, while keeping it a secret. Clarence pulls up in his buggy, and brings the players to the bridge of the ship. Before anyone can press the button, however, the entire ship groans and heaves, as it engages its warp engine for a short hop, aimed directly at Scholar's Rest.
"wut..."WUTZ 'APPENIN'?!" exclaims Grakgut.
"Zog it, who touched da button?" demands Kroz.
"DIS BE A ORKY SHIP, IT IZ!" says Grakgut.

The jump lasts less than a second, but the ship is kindling with fury. Exiting above the orbit of Scholar's rest. Da Looted Krooza is burning hotter than ever. Dozens of imperial ships appear as well. The fleets immediately start firing at each other. Wazgor hugs a pillar of the ship, as the Krooza accelerates toward the battle.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpKjSezYQgQ

Three Eldar ships - a Nova Dragon, a Star Dragon, and a Wraithship begin firing at the Krooza. They take some major damage from the opening salvo of pulsar and starcannon fire, but are now in the perfect position to counterattack. The Eldar holo-fields give massive defensive bonuses when at long range, so the Kill Team fixes this in the most ideal way possible - ramming speed. Ramming the Star Dragon and its lance batteries, the kill team unloads point-blank into the Eldar ship, which detonates it in a large fireball.

"Zog it, I wanted ta loot dat!" says Kroz.

Turning the attention to the Nova Dragon, the players once again connect with a ram and then unload into it. This time, the players' lances rake along the side and tear it apart.

"WOT DA ZOG! I WANT LOOT!" yells Wazgor.

Their last chance being the Wraithship, they open up with a ram and then commence boarding actions. However, most of them are rebuffed by Aspect Warrior teams. The second pass, Kroz is near fixated on the loot now.

"NOW WOTCH DIS! DIS IS 'OW YA LOOT DA PANZEES!" yells Kroz.

Kroz rams once again...on full power total destruction. Kroz rams the Wraithship so hard he bisects it. 'Eadmangla does a quick hit and run on the exploding ship, grabbing as much loot as he can carry. He grabs about five shuriken catapults, four shuriken pistols, a lasblaster, and a bunch of Eldar pointy helmets before making it back to the Krooza. The Wraithship pieces explode on both sides of the Krooza.

"I SAID, DON'T SLOG THE ZOGGIN' SHIP" cries Wazgor, enraged.
"WOT? WEEZE GOTS TA LOOT'EM, AND JUST RAMMED'EM A BIT'ARD." says Kroz quizzically, "DIS COMIN FROM DA GUYS DAT KEPT SHOOTIN WHEN DEY WANTED LOOTIN!"
The Kill team proceeds to start beating the shit out of each other while passing blame for the destruction of all the loot.

'Eadmangla brings in all his loot, and the Kill Team then proceeds to divy it up, each taking a helmet and attaching it to their codpieces. The Kill Team suddenly notices a bunch of imperial fighters heading to the surface. The rest of da boyz are hopping in fighta bommas to join the fray. The Kill team rushes to the Last Danca and are shot out the launch bay, not wanting to be the last to the fight.

"Dakka loaded up, boss!" says Uzgob to Kroz, "Ya got 30 LASMs! Rokk dem panzies!"

The flying is flawless. The kill team breaks atmosphere over the lush jungle world of Scholar's Rest. In the distance, the kill team sees a Marauder Bomber with a satellite dish on it.

"Ah, nice to work with you again, Deathwatch!" says Walrus, "I'll be providing AWACS and ESM as needed!"
"'ERE WE GO! DA EMPRUH ALWAYS SEZ: WAAAAAGH!" yells Kroz as he flies toward the Eldar.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UioDpyCG8sw

There are four Darkstars on approach. The Kill Team blows two up in a devastating alpha-strike, but the other two do massive damage as well, reducing the Last Danca from 50 hull to 2 in one salvo of plasma and brightlance. The Kill Team then turn their reaper autocannon turrets and rokkitz to the last two Darkstars and blow them out of the sky.

"Fox 2, kill confirmed, nice job Deathwatch!" says Walrus, "The Webway gates are the primary targets. Watch for plasma!"

The Kill Team fly to the next combat zone, populated by three webway gates and a convoy of Eldar "armor" including Firestorms, Warp Hunters, and Scorpions. The Kill Team uses their LASMs to snipe out Eldar Firestorms. A close bombing run reduces one of the Webway portals to ashes. Without the firestorms, the Eldar are caught in a free for all fire zone and systematically exterminated by the players' Fighta Bomma. The players destroy two more webway gates before Leman Russes arrive to fight the Scorpions and Warp Hunters.

"Guns kill confirmed, nice going Deathwatch!" says Walrus, "No more firestorms detected!"
"Now it'z a cleanup." says 'Eadmangla.
"Indeed." says Walrus, "It was an honor to fly alongside you again, Deathwatch." Walrus pulls up his Marauder AWACS towards the Imperial fleet.

Upon landing for a moment, there really isn't that much left to loot. These tanks are crewed by guardians, and they don't really have their weapons since they have tanks. The Kill Team does manage to nick some shiny eldar tank armor as a souvenier though. Kroz brings the Last Danca back to the Looted Krooza. After a few moments, another lander crashes in the bay. Out march a line of Cardboard boxes.
"Pliskin!" yells 'Eadmangla.
Awright, boss!" says Pliskin, "'Eres da rundown!" The players receive +500 XP and +2 PF.

Most of the boyz are landing back in the bays as well, their ships bearing many new kill markings. Grakgut moves to find Grakkagrak and Uzgob.

"Did you an' Uzgob foind out wut da ship wantz fer itz soopa sekret birfday pahtey?" Grakgut asks.
"Yeah, we sorta did, boss!" says Grakkagrak.
"REPAIRS, BOSS!" yells Uzgob over the clamor, "I fink da ship needs a good repair job!"
"Den get it sum repairs!" says 'Eadmangla.
"We take dis ship to... sumplace ta git it noice an' proppa-like!" says Grakgut, "Now dun tell da ship about da surprize pahtey!"
"Roight, boss!" says Uzgob as he wanders off into the clamor of the post-fight jubilation.

We called the session there, at 15/85 ship hull integrity and 70% crew.

Shit indeed when down.
an i never thought close combat between ships was possible.

Eldar are glass cannons. Their guns did massive damage to the players, but the players luckily upgraded the guns of their Last Danca. These guns, upgraded from shootas to Radcannons and Reaper Autocannons, allowed them to do equal damage to the Eldar in turn. A lot of eldar died this session, and all the players did was argue over whose fault it was they died so fast before they could get looted.

I found the entire thing hilarious.

y u hate eldar so much

>>16901164

You have no idea.

>>16901263

I have no idea.

hmmm. morphball grot....

>>16901291

The best part is I don't count that as among the stranger things they've done.

TPK by session 10. Calling it

>>16901315
Eadmangala ere.
cant wait to test him out, altho i might need to get Dak out in the feild

>>16901448

I actually have something interesting planned for session 10, but I'll be buggered if I spoil it two weeks in advance.

Now Session 11 on the other hand...

So at what point does Grakgut become a Painboss?

Also you guys should get some grapling arms for your ship.

>>16901641

At Rank 4 or 5 the option for Hulking becomes available, so all the players can become proppa nobz.

Currently Grakgut is wearing Mega-armor, which makes his size hulking. He will become Massive once the upgrade is purchased. Some of my players have expressed desire for better armor that is not Mega-Armor (Ork armor scales from AV5 to AV11), and I am working on that issue.

Wurrza here.

Won't be in next week. Wurrza is...trying to sort loot out (he's claiming to be a Blood Raven but his Power armor looks like it used to be blue underneath the red coating...).

>>16901704
Next week: the perfect time for Push.

>>16902399
next week, Perils free push week

"add betta plates"

"Using superior kinds of material for their armor, these boost the protective capabilities of the 'Ard Armor."

An idea, inspired by the looted eldar tank.

This is perhaps the best thing I've ever seen. How exactly did you do an Ork game, if you care to share.

>>16902825
Doesn't look like Shas is still observing, but as I recall, the mechanics are a patchwork of existing Rogue Trader, Dark Heresy and Deathwatch systems all covered in green frosting.

As for the premise, it really doesn't get much deeper than what you see here: someone needs help, and a group of orkz rush in to steal all the fights and glory (and loot, yeah) before more legitimate marines arrive... and really, when you think about it the fights and the glory are what most marines are about, anyway.

>>16903152

Rogue Trader is the base system. However, I do allow weapons and gear from the Rogue Trader, Black Crusade, and Dark Heresy armories. I do not allow Ascension or Deathwatch items, however.

The premise is more or less spot on. The Imperium isn't very bright.

>>16903152
>>16906632

So it's like a cross between GRIM DARKNESS and Elite Beat Agents?

>>16907632

This just makes things better!