Hours have passed since the sunfangs decimated the woodfolk raiding party, and it's the middle of the night. The lizards are, almost to a man, passed out on the field of battle, since most of them managed to drink themselves into a happy stupor. But hey, they deserved the celebration, didn't they?

You, sitting inside your bear-skeleton's web-covered ribcage, are watching over the sunfangs. The sunfangs gave you a lion's share of the leftover meat (read: the corpses of the slain woodfolk), and for quite possibly the first time in your life, you are actually close to being full.

The sunfangs revere you as a deity. They believe that you will bring them to a new age of prosperity, and you overheard them talking about how you'll help win their ancestral lands back from "those vicious fucking woodfolk."

Honestly, you're not sure where you stand on that right now. You pilot your bear skeleton past the sleeping sunfangs, toward the ramshackle tent in the middle of their encampment. Because, well...

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/16748063/#16750418
>rolled 20 = 20
>Also, kill in sleep and take feathers.

... you have some unfinished business to take care of.
(continued)

>Thread theme

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrNiDAHFDRQ%26autoplay%3D1

Blorp! GLORP.


HURP!

The tent is pretty big, but the entrance isn't NEARLY big enough to accommodate a giant bear, let alone its bones. You're forced to hop off and wriggle your way in on foot. The Chieftain is probably sleeping, so this should be easy...

- wait. No... no, he's not sleeping. The Chieftain is facing the tent's entrance, sitting with his legs folded under him; that massive bone club is within arm's reach. He cracks a wry smile as you freeze.

"Hah! I knew it. Some things never change, huh? Damn straight."

Without anymore warning, the Chieftain grabs his club and lunges forward, swinging wildly; you just barely manage to wriggle past his swing and trip him up. The confined space works against him; while he's struggling to get up, you get your jaws and mouth-hooks around his throat, tearing right into the soft flesh. It's too little, too late, though. The Chieftain brings a large hand up, a hand large enough to crush your skull without effort-

- and he pets you lightly, giving you a terrible, bloody grin. You're so shocked that you actually stop eating for a few moments.

He's beyond speech, but you hear his thoughts anyway:

>This is the fuckin' way it has to be. You're... you're the damned Guardian of the Earth, yeah? You've earned this; need it more than I. I remember the old ways.

His grip falters, but he never breaks eye contact.

>Fight for survival... and for food.
>Only move forward... never move back.
>Evolve and... become strong. Damn... straight...

Finally, the light in his eyes fade.

>MYSTERIOUS TIME STREAM EVOLVES YOU.

(Choose 1 Unnatural Power (New or Upgrade), and 3 Body Part Improvements.)

Trying something new! FOR ALL DECISIONS, ROLL D40s. (dice+1d40 in the email field)

CURRENT STATS
_______________________________________________
POWERS:
Calming Aura, Level 1
> Attempts to pacify creatures; overridden by strong emotion.
> 10 ft radius, weakens as it goes.
Shapeshifting/Body Sculpting, Level 1
> Transform into the last creature PARASITED, duration 5 min.
> May also alter the SIZE of one Body Part.
Necromancy, Level 1
> Can raise and animate ONE bear-sized body.
> No auto-pilot. Must continually focus.

Shadow Travel, Level 0 (Dormant; Bear's Power)
> Instantaneous travel between shadows. All other details unknown.
> ???

CRYSTALS:
Yellow Crystal:
> You can understand simple languages.
> Other effects unknown.
________________________________________________________
BODY PARTS:
Oversized Cave Salamander
>Parasitic Mouth Hooks: Drains blood; medium telepathy; grants control
>Brain Improved: Logic. Language. Foresight. Knowledge.
>Web Spinners: Shoots sticky web from ass, distance of 5 ft. Medium strength.

EYES: Small; can see in Lowlight
NOSE: Weak
JAWS: Weak. Mouth-Hooks. Vocal Chords- Blorp, Gleep, Hurp.
NECK: None

BODY: Rotund. Dragging Gait. Blue.
SIZE: Two feet long
LIMBS: Stubs
SKIN: Delectably Fleshy
TAIL: Dragging
________________________________________________________

rolled 8 = 8

Take his feathers. Take his feathers. Make them OURS. Put them on our war bear. But hide them with webs.

Strip him right back to the bones and pretend we had nothing to do with it.

rolled 28 = 28

>>16759110

Brain improved. We need to communicate with our followers.

rolled 22, 23, 9, 12 = 66

>>16759099
Power: Calming Groove 2.0
Body: Jumping legs, MASSIVE pipes (vocal), Googly eyes

>>16759131
>Choose 1 Unnatural Power (New or Upgrade), and 3 Body Part Improvements.

You're gonna have to choose more than that!

rolled 15 = 15

>>16759099
Unnatural Power: Upgrade Necromancy

So we may bring this man back to life as our "avatar" for the lizard folk.

Body Parts: Vocal Chords (for talking), Sticky Hands (for climbing), and a large red plume (for STYLE)

rolled 5 = 5

>>16759099
Awaken our dormant shadow travel powers. We can create a shadowed section INSIDE our bear golem and hunt that way.

rolled 12 = 12

>>16759099
Adrenal glands (For legging it like a blue hedgehog)

rolled 4 = 4

Unlock the power of interpretive dance, so that anyone can understand us by tapping into their ancestral groove.

rolled 10 = 10

>>16759099
calming aura upgrade
gecko fingers(to climb anything)
parrot like vocal ability
better back limbs(to be able to stand and maybe walk)

rolled 39 = 39

>>16759099
We should start upgrading. I think we should upgrade our calm aura.

As for body, we should upgrade our jaw strength, give ourselves some natural armor, and a long stick tong to rope things into our pincers with.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS OP! THE BLORP IS STRONG!

rolled 13 = 13

>>16759141

Necromancy, level 2. Our bear skeleton is our GREATEST asset right now. We need to improve it.

Body Improvements: Brain improved, Skin improved, hearing improved.

>>16759099
>Power
Radiate (somewhat) controllable levels of intense heat
SALAMANDER MODE ENGAGED!

rolled 30 = 30

Improve Necromatic Powers

Increase brain size
Vocal Cords.
Make our webbing hard as titanium alloy.

rolled 35 = 35

>>16759200

This

rolled 19 = 19

>>16759203
>>16759200

Agreed. My votes go with this.

>>16759165

Why the fuck would we need the tongue? We have fucking PROJECTILE webbing.

rolled 9 = 9

>>16759099
Power: establish a hive mind

Grow armor plating, improve musculature, and increase grip on our mouth hooks

rolled 31 = 31

>>16759200

This. I want my own shambling horror.

>>16759213
From our ass. That doesn't get tings into our mouth.

rolled 18 = 18

>>16759140
Upgrade necromancy, some kind of super jumping ability, bony plates to give us better durability, and improved brain.

So, our consensus is MORE NECROMANCY (Here we come Giant Bone Colossus!) Titanium webbing (To armor whatever the fuck we want with it) the ability to speak and becoming smarter?

Those are actually good choices.

rolled 28 = 28

Upgrade Necro

Ink jets
Devolve legs into elongated viper body
We can shit acidic bio-land mines

rolled 7 = 7

>>16759140
Power: improved necromancy

Body: Bipedal form, thick skin, ripping claws

>>16759232
It holds things down so we can get to it later.

>>16759232

You are missing the point buddy, if we have PROJECTILE webbing. Why the FUCK would we need to DRAG it into our mouth when we could just Web it to the ground, immobilise it from a distance, and THEN take our time feeding on it?

rolled 11 = 11

>>16759141
Just realized why everyone was rolling d40's, way to go me. Rolling a d40, ignore if you feel it's invalid.

OP I just have to tell you that I had stupidly high amounts of fun in the previous threads, and that you are an excellent writer and a credit to team.

rolled 15 = 15

Upgrade necromancy

Body parts: Vocal cords, rubbery body that can bend tremendously, jaw

rolled 37 = 37

>>16759284

Woops, rolled 20, rolling 40 now

>>16759165
>Calming Aura Lvl. 2
>Jaw Strength Lvl. 1, Natural Armor Lvl. 1, Rope Tongue Lvl. 1

You consumed the better part of a battlefield without evolving, but for some reason, the oversized Chieftain is more than enough to put you over the edge. In fact, you feel yourself gaining more power than ever before, though most of it seems to be flowing into your physical body rather than into your mind-!

This doesn't stop every cell in your body from feeling like it's burning, though. You manage to wriggle back outside and squeeze yourself back into your bear skeleton, gleeping in soft pain until the worst of it subsides.

When you come to, you feel stronger... mostly in your mouth. You probe your teeth with your tongue and nearly CHOKE on the damn thing; as you pound a froggy fist against your chest, you realize that your skin feels more leathery than slimy-smooth.

Things are looking up! You're no longer so vulnerable without your giant of a bear to protect you!

"... you FUCKER."

You whirl at the voice; about five sunfang surrounded you sometime between you coming back out of the tent and your evolut-

Oh god fucking DAMMIT, it's the club-wielding sunfang who escaped right before you captured that magic-slinger. He grinds his teeth and points an accusatory claw at you.

"You killed Chieftain's son! You kill sunfangs left and right! And now you killed Chieftain! You are no deity!!"

The other four sunfang snarl angrily, advancing with their clubs upraised.

>COMMAND?

>>16759296

Awwww I wanted a Necrotitan armored with Titanium webbing ;_;

rolled 17 = 17

>>16759296
>>16759296

Calming aura in this bitch. Make them awe at our dark might.

rolled 8 = 8

>>16759296
kill him and eat fast
be stealth as possible
walk out of the tent and BLORP around

>>16759250
We'll have a LOT more chances to get more evolutions; the last thread evolution-less thread was kind of an anomaly.

I was worried about flooding this guy with more abilities than anyone can keep track of, but I think I thought of a few ways to work around it.

rolled 9 = 9

>>16759296

Calm aura, take the chief's plume and wear it

rolled 23 = 23

>>16759296
Blorp, emit calming aura. Does he still look angry?

Dinner!

rolled 5 = 5

>>16759296

CALM AURA THAT SHIT

>>16759296
Also! Sorry for the sudden system switch, but as a reminder again:

WE'RE ROLLING D40s FOR EVERYTHING NOW!

rolled 20 = 20

>>16759296
Crank dat Groove up and give them a shoulder massage with extend-o tongue. I am curious about the increased strength properties.

If they doesn't work, rev up the Bear-tank and Gleep defiantly before engaging them newt to lizard. I don't think snapping some bones will be difficult with our new jaw and hide. Try and latch onto Mr. Leaf shitter and establish a mind link again. Make him understand that they can either follow us or become EXP points.

rolled 30 = 30

>>16759326
Calming aura all of them. Use your new tong on the must angry one. Let your saliva relive his angry feelings.

rolled 14 = 14

>>16759296
INITIATE CALMING AURA

FULL SPEED INTO FRIENDSHIP

rolled 27 = 27

>>16759296
Best to begin the slaughter now. Just for fun though, let's try that new tongue from inside the bear. Shoot it out and at the neck of the one that spoke to us, try to drag it in.

rolled 13 = 13

Calm aura, shapeshift into the chief and demand the finest female of the village come forward for snoo snoo and then sacrifice, and proclaim that a female will die every time you are crossed

I still think the Rope tongue is largely useless to us.

>>16759370
That's not what the female glorps say.

>>16759374

True, but I meant practically. I mean, anything the tongue can do the webbing can do better. The webbing also doesn't put us in danger of losing our tongue if we extend it...and we can always make more webbing but we only have the one tongue.

rolled 12 = 12

>>16759296
Put some slow jazz on and try to simmer down the harsh vibes. Then polymorph into the Chieftan while extending our arms outward and motioning for the Bear-ghoul to raise on it's hind legs and imposed behind us.

Let them test our right to be a God if they dare. Slaughter them if they don't bow!

>>16759389
Now we can tangle, ensnare, and pull victims from both our front and back at the same time! Or spider man from the trees using alternating methods in a tumbling motion.

>>16759353
You immediately send another pulse of calming aura outwards- and the resulting surge of power surprises you, nearly knocking you off your feet.

The effect is as immediate as it is gratifying; most of the sunfangs falter, and the one on the far right actually collapses into a gooey pile of smiling zen (figuratively, not literally). The ANGRIEST sunfang, however, grits his teeth and powers forward at a leisurely pace, raising his club-

>BlorTHHHHHHWUP.

- your tongue snaps out from between the bones and catches the Escapee right on the snout, sticking like glue. Before you can stop it, your tongue automatically- and instinctively- reels itself in at about the same, blazingly-fast speed.

There's a bone-jarring THUD as the Escapee's face smacks into Bearbones' ribs, right in biting distance. Working on pure instinct, you bite down and hook right into the sides of the poor guy's nose, eliciting a hissing wail of pain.

... to tear faces off or not to tear faces off. That is the question.

>COMMAND?

rolled 24 = 24

>>16759426
Calming Aura that shit

rolled 23 = 23

>>16759426

Tear his face off. We must send a message that we are loving to those who bow to us, but unforgiving to those who are defiant.

rolled 5 = 5

>>16759426
Probe the lizards mind for knowledge of the sunfangs culture while we drain him dry.

>>16759426
Oh please like there is even any choice here.

The Chieftain, who knew what we were, understood his final fate. We are the force of biological destiny, we will not be swayed. We run on instinct and kill all in our path. We are not even aware of the meaning of mercy.

Slurp his face off.

rolled 21 = 21

>>16759426
Offer him a chance to surrender.
Survival of the BLORPest, amigo.

rolled 23 = 23

>>16759426
Calming aura *everybody*. We need minions. I didn't even want us to kill the chieftain.

rolled 29 = 29

>>16759426
Calming Aura like a mofo on this one.

rolled 11 = 11

>>16759426
No mercy. Rip, tear, and consume. We will allow only those who bow to us to live, the rest are food.

>>16759478
>>16759485
Guys the aura is already on....

rolled 13 = 13

>>16759426
Shapeshift into the chief and repeat his last words to them. They need to understand, like he did, that this face-devouring monster is the best thing to ever happen to their tribe.

>>16759503
No vocal organs. We can look the part but need to do interpretive dance to communicate

rolled 34 = 34

>>16759492
Extra large dose of calming aura, concentrated on the angry one.
If we are a deity, we should work to bring bliss to our followers.

>>16759440
>>16759485
The Escapee tries to club you, but he's too awkwardly situated; he manages to hit the bear's shoulderblades once before you unleash another calming pulse at point-blank range.

His eyes glaze over slightly as he just relaxes every bone in his body; your parasitic mouth-hooks are the only things holding him up, but he's way beyond caring at this point.

"Well... guess we can just let this slide," he murmurs indistinctly. "'Sides, it ain't like we can't fucking choose a new Chieftain. Just gotta leave it up to his club."

You blink. Come to think of it, there are a LOT of questions you need answered- about this world, about the sunfangs, about the crystals, and-

- wait, did he just say that his CLUB'S going to choose someone!?

>COMMAND?

>>16759524
But...we have two snickers sized bone jaws embedded in his nose....

rolled 35 = 35

>>16759426
First we connect, then we tell him that if he doesn't calm down then GOD (BLORP) shall not smile upon him, preferably with an image in his mind of a bear mauling him. Then we command him to reach word of the great sacrifice that their glorious Chieftain made, and how his last words were to follow us as they can. Then we release and calming aura to the maximum output.

rolled 15 = 15

>>16759531
Not that he really mind the BLINDING pain of being speared through his face lets get him on his feet and hop in his shoulder and reestablish a link and have a nice discussion about the going ons of the world around us. Most importantly see if he knows the location of more power Orbs.

rolled 35 = 35

Do whatever we can to get our pal the leafdancer selected as new chief.

rolled 7 = 7

>>16759531

Grab the club.

rolled 32 = 32

>>16759531
How long have you been at war with the woodfolk?
Why would the chieftain offer himself up to us?
What is the Guardian of the Earth?
Gleep.

rolled 20 = 20

>>16759531
GLEEP

>>16759541
>>16759532
The Calming Aura blunts pain, and the parasitic mouth-hooks are used to control people with the intention that they're beyond caring about JESUS FUCK MOUTH-HOOKS IN MY NECK.

They make a pretty strange one-two punch.

rolled 6 = 6

>>16759531
latch onto one of our new pacified minions, and shapeshift into their form for vocal chords, then ask whats going on with the club thing.

rolled 8 = 8

>>16759556
and/or blorp.

rolled 34 = 34

>>16759531
web him
time for some interrogation
seach the brain for some answers

rolled 27 = 27

Never get vocal cords. Telepathy, Blorp, Gleep, and Hurp are all the communcations we need.

Should probably spec Gleep to level 3 as soon as possible though. It becomes very helpful when we get to the sandworm part.

rolled 23 = 23

>>16759508
I assumed if we took on the chief's form we'd get the use of his vocal cords. Is that not how it works?

Thematically, I really like the idea of us never deigning to use ordinary speech, instead relying on our mouthhooked puppets to relay our words to the masses. But I think we can make an exception this once.

rolled 14 = 14

>>16759592
Not being able to speak is only a disadvantage. if our telpathic powers are jammed by, say, another evolving being, we're fucked. Plus, some creatures might not take kindly to being communicated with from inside their mind..tends to make people distrust you.

rolled 17 = 17

>>16759592
Agreed. The moment we speak to our underlings in their own primitive and foul tongue we lower ourselves.

Find out about that CLUB.

rolled 23 = 23

>>16759610
What part of being a GOD don't you understand. If we just say shit, no one will listen, but if we, in all our fatass blue salamander glory, INVADE their mind and impose our will, they will bow the fuck down.

>>16759536
>>16759548
>>16759551

>BLORP.

"Bwuh...?" The Escapee frowns. "Why d'you want a shrimp like that to be the new chieftain? It's not like-"

You send him a picture of you hammering a woodfolk into another woodfolk- except you replace BOTH of them with the Escapee.

"A-Alright! Alright already, Guardian!! I'm yours, okay!? Chill. I'll spread the fucking word."

>BLORP?

It takes him a moment to catch up with your change of subject. "The woodfolk...? Um, I dunno. As long as we can remember, they've been kicking our asses, the fuckers. They got better senses than us, better tools. If you hadn't been here..."

>GLEEP?

"The Chieftain- wait, he what?" Calming aura or no calming aura, the Escapee stares for a second. "... shit. I had no idea... he was that fuckin' serious about it?" He snorts. "He thought that his strength would go straight to you just by you EATIN' him. It's an old folk's-tale."

>HURP?

"The Guardian of the Earth... um, that's you. Guardian." He doesn't have any other answers, even when you search his brain.

>... BLORP.

You release him with instructions to go spread the word about the Chieftain's sacrifice- and his supposed last words about wanting them to follow you. You don't even NEED to go and pulse your calming aura- he seems pretty shaken by what you said, anyway.

The rest of the sunfangs are stirring, roused by their companion- you still don't see Your Leafdancer, nor do you have any idea about what the Escapee meant about the Chieftain's club.

>COMMAND?

>>16759610
Have have an UNDEAD BEAR SKELINGTON WHICH RIPS PEOPLE IN HALF

We can MIND FUCK EVERYTHING around us into gibbering blissful submission

Our main mode of INTERACTION IS A NUERAL UPLINK TO ONES BRAIN via A FUCKING TONGUE

If we can't get out points across with all that perhaps we're being too subtle?

rolled 10 = 10

>>16759660

Order our slaves to rise. It is time for war. We need to learn the location of the woodfolk camp and head their.

rolled 6 = 6

>>16759660
we need to improve this village
raise the numbers
better tools
we cant kill all the wood folk with a undead bear
but the plus of a lizard army will wipe them from earth
also...the earth guardian requires more of those shiny rocks

rolled 33 = 33

>>16759670
I know. How weak are we when we have to latch onto someone else just to speak?

I mean, come on, you really think others will see us as anything other than a parasite?

rolled 20 = 20

>>16759660
Remove the plume from the chieftain.
Web it to our bear.
Find our leafcaller, for he shall be the direct link to GOD that these lizards need. And by that I mean we burrow into his body after asking if he's fine with us being connected to him for an unknown amount of time.

rolled 5 = 5

>>16759703

This is not enough. We need to find out if there are other tribes of sunfangs and unite them under our banner!

rolled 19 = 19

Hop on our bear skeleton and ride off for the woodsfolk village, alone.

rolled 10 = 10

>>16759749
indeed
HE BLORP BANNER SHALL STRIKE THE EARTH SO HARD THAT EVERY WOODFOLK SHALL NEVER BE FOUND ALIVE AGAIN EVER!

captcha: enorth destruction

rolled 3 = 3

>>16759703
It would be good to improve the lot of our Sunfangs, but we have the advantage over the woodfolk right now and need to keep it.

Find out if Sunfangs are nomadic or what their deal is, get them working on shit and putting whatever loot we got from the woodfolk to use. Find out wear the woodfolk camp is and lead a raiding party of the strongest warriors with a leafdancer along to cover the escape if needed.

After we sort out this chief business of course.

rolled 28 = 28

>>16759764
>Alone

Not only do we not know where it is, but we won't be able to take them all out by ourselves.

rolled 22 = 22

>>16759776
>Type out a bunch of shit
>Roll a three

Suck my dick dicegods.

rolled 10 = 10

>>16759703
>>16759749

These

>>16759728
It takes a few minutes of tearing the plumes off of the Chieftain's head, maneuvering them onto Bearbones (where it won't catch in joints or get tangled in your webs), pinpoint webbing, and spit-an'-polish, but soon enough, your bear skeleton is jauntily equipped! The blood-red plumes are attached to the skull's scalp and trail all the way down its back.

... and then you make your way among the hungover, still-waking sunfangs to look for Your Leafdancer. You find him sprawled out underneath a tree some distance away from the rest of the group, snoring loudly.

Your wake-up call consists of coiling around his shoulders, digging your fingers into his skin, and biting into the back of his neck. Thankfully, his screams of agony trail off into sobbing whimpers after a few seconds of CALMING PULSE.

"W-What...? What's going on, Guardian!?"

>COMMAND?

rolled 9 = 9

We can't improve our sunfangs if we don't have the ability to use simple logic.

We're stuck with the troops that we have now, our best bet would be to try and evolve again so we can get the brain evolutions.

Lets go fuck shit up at the woodfolk camp.

rolled 37 = 37

Go super saiyan and release fecal matter with the force of a thousand suns

rolled 21 = 21

>>16759799
>wepresidentnow.jpg

Find out how the chief selection process goes. Tell him he has your support. Find out where the woodfolk live.

Try not to shit on him too much.

rolled 1 = 1

>>16759799
Rejoice, for you are now my herald. Now, whats up wit the chiefs club choosing the new chief.

rolled 28 = 28

>>16759827
>>16759812
Well this went downhill fast.

rolled 2 = 2

>>16759799
"You get to talk for us when or if we need you to. As new Chieftain, I expect you not to disagree." Then explain how the Chieftain gave his life to us in order for us to grow, and that we shall lead the people to glory.

rolled 3 = 3

>>16759812
Let's not do this.

rolled 22 = 22

>>16759827
Seconding this and rolling for it.

rolled 27 = 27

>>16759799
loot the corpses
locate woodfolk village
scout defenses
manage the village to be able to win the fight
find allied villages if possible
aquire more weird rocks
learn about the world
and the chieftain's ritual too

rolled 12 = 12

What the fuck are we doing fucking up our friends? Release him at once

rolled 21 = 21

>>16759883
This is how we communicate. Maybe we will get actually telepathy someday, but until then it is limited to blorp, gleep, mindrape, and hurp.

rolled 9 = 9

>>16759812
Oh, lol, what the fuck?

Ask the lizard how the chief selection process goes about.

rolled 24 = 24

>>16759862

This

rolled 5 = 5

EvoBros: BLORP IS MAGIC

Alternatively,

MOBILE SUIT BLORP

rolled 17 = 17

>>16759897
oh and pooping i guess

>>16759812
>>16759823
>>16759862
Sadly, the most you manage is a gigantic blast of webbing; since you're wrapped around Leafdancer's shoulders, it ends up spreading all the way down his right arm and back.

Congratulations, you've given him a spiderweb cape that drapes over one shoulder.

>BLORP!

With expert parasitic piloting, you maneuver Leafdancer-

"Fuck's sake! I have a name! Razz!"

- RAZZ THE LEAFDANCER around the battlefield, asking various sunfang about the location of the woodfolk settlement, alternating between BLORPS and Razz's questions. It's... actually not too far away.

The directions don't mean much to you, but you manage to piece together a mental image between Razz's mind and what you know. See, if your cave is smack-dab on the north edge of a map, the huge forest extends to the west, east, and south. The Sunfang Tribe is located at the south-east, right where the forest ends; the Woodfolk are not too far to the west, directly southwest of your cave.

In other word, WEST.

As for the chieftain selection...

>BLORP?

"O-Oh... um, we just take turns holding the Chieftain's club. The King of Clubs." Razz looks uncomfortable. You know, moreso than he usually does when your hooks are in his neck. "Whoever can hold onto it the longest without FUCKING DYING is the Chieftain."

>... G-GLEEP!?

You can still ask about:
- Allied Villages
- Weird Rocks
- More about the Chieftain's Ritual
- Fuck Questions, GET READY FOR BATTLE
- Other.
>COMMAND?

rolled 16 = 16

>>16759955
- Allied Villages
- Weird Rocks
- More about the Chieftain's Ritual
also
LOOT THOSE WOODFOLK CORPSES
and eat what you forgot to eat
pick some useful bones and web to the bear(for later necromantic use)

rolled 25 = 25

>>16759955

Fuck err thang, perpare for battle!

rolled 16 = 16

>>16759883
Dying?

rolled 29 = 29

>>16759955
Ask about all the other things.

I assume the ritual involves some kind of group beatings or some such. Since RAZZ is your chosen champion you will assist his efforts with your bearmech and other powers, but you will take care not to kill or seriously injure any other sunfangs because you will need them for the great battle to come.

rolled 17 = 17

>>16759955

Get a looting party together of the strongest warriors, have them split into two groups. Us and a few other sunfangs will approach the village directly, raise their alarm and create a diversion. The larger team will attack from the rear and kill as many women and children as they can, and make off with as many valuables as they can.

rolled 19 = 19

BUTTSECKS EVERYBODY

rolled 21 = 21

>>16759955

Asked about the weird rocks and allied villages, but do it quickly so we we can start marching towards our enemies.

rolled 40 = 40

grab the teeth of the dead woodfolk and make yourself a necklace

rolled 3 = 3

>>16760109
>welp

>>16760014
>Hurrrrrrp.

"Allied... whats?" Razz looks mildly confused. "Fuck, you didn't know? We're all that's left."

He feels your shock and keeps going, even as he picks his way over the corpses.

"The woodfolk want the fucking forest! All of it! But we can't live outside it... we can't cast leafdancing without leaves, we gotta fucking sleep on the dirt when we're meant to be in trees, and those fucking shitfuckers-"

You are in awe of his- and his entire race's- ability to curse. A full 1/3rd of their language appears to be nothing but curses.

>BLORP.

"-- wha? The- oh, you mean the crystals... fuck." Razz runs a hand across his head-plumes. "Asked a little about that after the fight. They're important. Important, rare, and dangerous. You spend too much time around 'em, and your body starts getting fucked up..."

>HURP.

"Huh? You... you want to help me with the ritual?" Razz shakes his head. "No, no, no- I mean, if you can hold the King of Clubs without your body getting fucked up and exploding, you're Chieftain. Mystic fucking powers."

Before you can think about that any longer, the sunfangs start calling you all toward the chief's tent, led by the Escapee. He barks out, motioning Razz forward; he gets first pick, thanks to your words.

All eyes are on the two of you- most glances are awed, some are frightened, and a few look ill- as your chosen walks into the tent and reaches for the bone club-

>- the yellow crystal resonates so hard that you almost jump out of your fucking skin-

Razz yelps and pulls his hand back, nearly suffering another panic attack. "What? What the fuck was that!?"

You throttle your confusion and stare at the club. No doubt about it- THERE'S ANOTHER GODDAMN CRYSTAL IN THAT FUCKING CLUB.

>COMMAND?

>>16760109
... while your mind reels with shock, the most rational part of your brain files this away onto your To-Do List.

You will feel those teeth on your throat as soon as is physically possible, or you aren't the Guardian of the Earth.

rolled 26 = 26

>>16760119
Hop over the the club and wrap it around our tongue and hold it up high for all to see. Then dislocate our jaws and swallow the fucker whole.

DESTINY IS OUR RIGHT!

ALL SHALL BE DEVOURED!

rolled 35 = 35

>>16760119

Don't break the club now, wait until the fight when we can do it and blame it on the "heat of battle". In the mean time we should hold onto it to garner respect from the sunfangs.

For now, however, we should march on the woodfolk camp and feast on their flesh.

rolled 30 = 30

Attempt to eat the club. Gnaw at it. Bash it on the ground with our tongue - try some magic by Gleeping at it and performing a ritual dance while trying to cram it in our gullet. DO whatever we have to do to try and eat it. That's our goddamned crystal.

rolled 19 = 19

Swallow the club. Attempt to shit the remains all over Razz.

>>16760150
If bashing it against the ground doesn't work wrap out body around it like a kitten on an oversized ball of yarn and crack that fucker open with our improved jaws.

THERE IS DELICIOUS CANDY INSIDE!

rolled 26 = 26

>>16760119
message to Razz:
"this club has part of my power, for me to be more powerful and cleanse the land of all enemies of my people i need to recover all parts of my power, and this is the fastest way"
and then i roll a bluff check?

rolled 13 = 13

>>16760168
>damn dice

rolled 36 = 36

Hold it aloft with your mighty tong!

rolled 25 = 25

>>16760141
This. We're getting that crystal one way or another, it might as well be in a terrifying show of dominance.

rolled 4 = 4

>Eat mystery gem.
>Everyone we bite to engage in conversation dies of head explosions.

rolled 10 = 10

EAT THE CLUB

>>16760145
>>16760180
>BLORP! BLORPBLORPBLORPBLORPBLORP--

"O-Okay! Fine! Fine! You're the fucking deity!!"

>HURP?

"-- you're the fucking deity, SIR!!"

>Gleeeeeeeep.

You march the bear skeleton into the tent, wrecking the tent in the process, and you march it right back out, keeping the club clenched between its teeth. Razz gives a passionate speech about the will of the former Chieftain, may the Guardian protect his soul, and how said Guardian's destiny is to hold onto this dangerous club and take all the burden of responsibility onto his shoulders.

Right on cue, you heft the club into the air with your tongue!

... in some ways, the sunfang aren't the brightest bulbs in the shed, but one look at the bear skeleton wearing the scalp of their former Chieftain is enough to convince them to applaud. This becomes exponentially more enthusiastic when Razz ends his speech with "NOW WHO WANTS TO GO KICK SOME FUCKING PANSY WOODFOLK ASS!?"

One woodfolk-teeth-necklace-crafting later...

As you march into the woods, your bear skeleton looming head and shoulders higher than the sunfangs- even while going on all fours- you vow to yourself that the crystal will be yours. All yours.

In a few minutes, the sunfangs' enthusiasm dims down to a whisper, and then silence, as you all trek deeper into the woods. It looks like you're in enemy territory, and it feels like you're being watched. Even the birds are silent.

Eventually, though- one of the scouting sunfangs comes back to you and Razz with a report: there's a clearing up ahead, with fires lit and a sparse number of woodfolk facing outward with their spears... a mirror of the sunfangs' own position.

On one hand, it's... it's literally the same night as the LAST battle, and they might not know of their raiding party's defeat. On the other hand, you have a bad feeling about this.

You're still looped around Razz.

>COMMAND?

rolled 31 = 31

Jump over the the club and eat that shit like ripe pussy

Use the collective heads of all the Sunfang in the room as jump points like so

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yBJD7aQbMc

rolled 5 = 5

Tell your people you must flee to a safer place, and build your armies.

rolled 28 = 28

>>16760228
FUCKING BEAR CHARGE THAT SHIT

BEAR RUSH!

rolled 2 = 2

>>16760228
Have the bear charge them while you and the Sunfangs flank around and attack from behind.

rolled 5 = 5

>>16760228
BEAR ASSAULT, FULL THROTTLE

rolled 21 = 21

>>16760228

Split our forces. I know that we're not very smart, but I think these simple tactics should work. One group should be lead by Razz and consists of the majority of the lizardmen. They shall attack head-on.

The second group will consist of us and a select honour guard of sunfangs. We will advance close behind the main group so if their is an ambush, we will be able to catch the ambushers by surprise.

rolled 35 = 35

>>16760228

Tell the Sunfang to go home.

You'll destroy this enemy yourself.

MOUNT YOUR BEAR, AND CHARGE FORTH UNTO GLORY, CRUSH THE WOODFOLK BENEATH YOUR BEAR'S MIGHT TREAD.

rolled 28 = 28

>>16760253
You and the sunfangs should move around to a better position while the woodfolk are occupied with the bear. Attack in a pincer, bear on one side, sunfangs on the other.

rolled 28 = 28

>>16760228
Send forth the Bear tank. Alone. If there are any hazards those scheming little elf fuckers have laid at least it would kill off a partition of our soldiers. If our mount can reach the first Woodfolk and rip his arms off since in the horde and hop off Razz and go stranger someone with our tongue.

rolled 29 = 29

>>16760228

We should go in and murder everything.

rolled 19 = 19

>>16760273
Spoken like a true God. What kind of deity needs foot sloggers and TAKTECS to win a fight?

rolled 40 = 40

bear charge
in case the bear can cause some distraction use the lizardmen behind him clearing the sides in a spearhead formation
in case the bear fails, retreat like the fake god that you are

>>16760322
WELL FINE I SUPPOSE WE'LL JUST GO WITH THIS IDEA.

rolled 32 = 32

>>16760273

What this guy said, but summon the loudest, most tearing ear rape we can muster and direct it at the woodfolk while charging in

rolled 9 = 9

>>16760322
>>16760322
>>16760322

Some serious shit is about to go down.

rolled 35 = 35

>>16760322
>Critical bear charge

Every time. Truly Blorp is a mighty god.

>>16760322
I fear for the Bear. So far up until this point the Bear has utter and completely flatten any semblance of a threat to our person when before we were getting smacked up constantly.

I think we're about to be taught some humility....

rolled 35 = 35

>>16760322
looks like my idea will pierce those woodfolks formation
or get us all killed

rolled 15 = 15

... Didn't anyone think of sitting up in a tree, and having the bear go in? We don't want to get skewered!

Send in the Bear, by itself, leading 2/3rds of our forces against those pansy-ass woodfolk and have Razz and Escapee lead the remaing third around them to flank.

Profit.

rolled 37 = 37

>>16760322

Bro that's a shitty ass plan, we-

>nat 40
>dubs

rolled 12 = 12

>>16760365
Bitch we rolled a CRIT.

At the very least it will take some of those elf knock-off treefuckers with it.

rolled 7 = 7

>>16760391
We rolled a Crit... /for initiative/

There's just as good a chance that we're gonna get cheesed.

>>16760391
I would be surprised if it didn't go down in a gory bone splintering finish but.... you'll be missed Bear-kun ; ;

Also we should totally consider taking their leader alive.

>>16760386
check the secong thread
>16748888
>nat 20 roll

So I wonder why the woodfolk are expanding into the forest?

Either they're doing very well in the homelands, and this is a colonization effort (meaning a lot more where this lot came from), or things are awful where they're coming from (meaning we'll probably be ok). Or something else entirely, dunno.

Regardless, we need to know more of these mysterious mammals!

>>16760443
Probably something the Sunfang did to piss them off. Now they are on the defensive and losing their home. Not that is matters. All shall be consumed.

rolled 22 = 22

>>16760443
Good thing we can gain knowledge by eating brains or w/e then.

Rip and tear.

rolled 16 = 16

>>16760443
And the best way to accomplish this is by eating their delicious, delicious flesh.

>>16760455
>>16760469
>>16760454
/tg/ - Brutal As Fuck

\m/

rolled 6 = 6

>>16760443
looks like elf talk to me boy

Ahahaha oh god last-second max rolls

>>16760273
>>16760278
>>16760290
>>16760314
You... you are not quite sure what you are.

However, if there is one thing that you do know about yourself, it's that you took down an unnaturally powered beast that was at least ten times bigger than you were. You feel your little salamander hackles rising as you think up a question for yourself:

After all that, are you incapable of handling a few dozen paltry treefucking spindly things on your own?

>..... **blorp.**

"W-What?! Guardian, what are you saying? Your bear is mighty-"

>Gleep.

"- yes, yes, I KNOW that's what she said, but- look at your bear- even you and your bear can't fucking take on-"

>HURP?

"N-No, Guardian, please, I was so fucking wrong for questioning you, please don't 'bear-slap my shit.'"

You're about to go off on your own, when...

>>16760322
>40
... you pause. By some strange happenstance, you happen to glance at the bear more closely; you haven't had time to before. You realize something.

It's still big, strong, and intimidating, but you notice some nicks and cuts all along the bones, thanks to the spears. Here and there are cracks, even fractures, where the sunfang hit it with their clubs. The webbing is nice and all, but if parts of the skeleton start failing, you're not sure it was meant to hold together a whole skeleton, especially under battle.

You think up another plan... and decide to hold the club between your teeth, since Bear is going into battle. You cling onto Razz's shoulders. It's go time.
(continued)

With a titanic roar/blorp, you mentally command your bear barreling straight at the light, and with an equally loud yell, the sunfang charge in behind it, with you and Razz in the middle of the formation. For one brief second after you break tree cover, you see about ten woodfolk staring up at the Bearbones in sheer horror; behind them is their encampment, a collection of crude mud-and-brick huts that are still leagues beyond what the sunfangs can build.

This is all you have time to see before the battle is joined. The bear crushes the first sentry into paste, and spears begin stabbing at your bear- most of them slide off the bone, but one or two of them make it through the ribcage into the empty space within. The spears aren't doing a lot of damage to the BONES- the CLUBS would be much better- but they're perfect for spearing the insides.

The sunfangs slam into the sentries with all the force of a hurricane, and they're clubbed to smithereens before they can focus on the sunfangs rather than the bear.

Your bear rears up again, your army slows down for a second without any enemies, and you take stock; nothing is standing between you and the mud-huts, but there is nothing in the middle of the village except for the bonfire. You see no other sold-

Wait. You hear the alarm being sounded- some sort of loud trumpet blast. War whoops come from the surrounding forest from every direction except BEHIND you... and in the distance, one ancient woodfolk is striding out of the main building. Alone. But with a calm, deadly purpose.

Reinforcements are coming!

>COMMAND?

rolled 26 = 26

>>16760508
That one, elder woodfolk... he's something special.

Time to wreck his day. Have the bear slam him and get the Sunfangs to finish him off. Then we can slaughter the rest of them.

Worst comes to worst, pull out. They aren't behind us. Try and set fire to the encampment too, if possible.

rolled 32 = 32

>>16760508
Tongue the fuck out of oldie's face and fling ourselves into a devouring position, leaders have had a habit of being the most delicious.

rolled 11 = 11

>>16760508
Send the bear to our flank and hope to christ the Sunfang are clever enough to follow it into the counter attack.

Hop off Razz and proceed into the mud village alone. We are taking out this bastard our self. No calming aura.... I want him to FEEL this coming.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTa0bQDZskc

rolled 2 = 2

>>16760508
Beat the elder over the face wih the club.

blorpdamned shitting woodfolk.

rolled 18 = 18

>>16760504
>I KNOW that's what she said

>>16760508
Let's sick the bear on that old asshole, while we get Razz or whoever the fuck to hurl us at his back while he's busy with Mr. Skelebear, then latch onto him.

Let's see what his deal is.

rolled 24 = 24

>>16760508
Beat a hasty retreat into the woods. But first, use you tong to jack that old fucker and drag him with you. He can be a bargaining chip, an information well, then lunch.

>>16760534
>Worst comes to worst, pull out. They aren't behind us

Unless that's what they want us to think, and they're waiting for an even worse ambush.

Hell, they could be skullfucking our womenfolk (I'm going to go out on a limb here and say our reptile brethern have women folk, somewhere) alread!

rolled 7 = 7

Take down the ancient. By bear, My Leafdancer, and by Blorp!

rolled 32 = 32

>>16760508
time for the leafdancer do the best leaf storm he did in his entire life
the bear cover our backs by grabbing a dead woodfolk and killing the faggot elder
hopefully the spears will not destroy him before he can retrat with us

rolled 38 = 38

>>16760508

Raid successful! Well done everyone! Grab some spears and run like fuck! Leafdance for cover. And have the bear take the rearguard position.

>>16760582
We didn't even steal their cattle!

rolled 28 = 28

Call Bear back. Collect the spears of the ten woodfolk. Web and wedge them onto his form- snap the spear's shafts or simply use the heads where necessary- to create an even greater BATTLEBEAR. With stabbing and slicing and horns and killing and simple ramming with his bulk put behind the woodfolks' spears.

rolled 16 = 16

>>16760582
As we run, tong that old one in the face and drag him along with us, comically.

rolled 1 = 1

>>16760582 Here

Have the bear toss some sticks from the bonfire towards the camp too why not.

rolled 8 = 8

>>16760618
>dat 1

oh, that is why not.

rolled 40 = 40

Smite the elder and hurp your way the fuck out of there

rolled 2 = 2

>>16760643
Well alrighty then.

rolled 38 = 38

>>16760643
looks like the elder is no more

rolled 28 = 28

>>16760508

This guy dares challenge the might of the lizard god! There is only one thing to do.

>>16760582
>>16760576
WELP.

You toss the club to the nearest (shocked) sunfang and jam your mouth-hooks into Razz's neck again.

"RETREAT! BACK, YOU DUMB FUCKERS!"

Grabbing spears and slinging them across their backs as they go, the foremost sunfang start melting back into the woods- and actually start jumping from tree to tree as they retreat, literally kicking off the trunks like insane homing pinballs. The rest of the sunfang follow quickly; Bearbones is slower, as you command it to cover your backs-

Your bowels spasm in abject fe- WORRY as the flanking woodfolk burst into view. They are all wielding clubs, and they are all arrowing right toward Bearbones! Bones do NOT fare well against tens of blunt impacts!

The elder continues his march; you see that he's got a shock-white Fu Manchu mustache, and tattoos all across his body. He's laughing. "You put too much faith in your toys, false god!"

The woodfolk are fast-approaching the bear; the sunfang will most likely outrun them, though. Also, the sunfang you handed the club to is spasming on the ground--

>>16760643
You suddenly growl. With a mighty HURP of effort, you detach yourself from Razz, bounce off the prone sunfang's head, grab the club (FUCK IF YOU'RE LEAVING CRYSTAL DELICIOUS CRYSTAL BEHIND), wriggle along the Bearbones' back, and start flailing your way towards the Elder, who looks **so goddamned arrogant you have no idea.**

"Brave. Brave, but fooli-"

In the strangest, most unlikely physical feat possible, you put on a burst of speed and headbutt him in the stomach before he can finish monologuing. The old woodfolk goes sprawling.

You wield the King of Clubs in your mouth.

>COMMAND?

rolled 38 = 38

>>16760746
EAT IT!

rolled 7 = 7

>>16760746

Command the bear-skeleton to beat the fuck out off the approaching woodfolk, while we use our mouth attack straight at his fucking face.

rolled 12 = 12

>>16760746
BLORP SMASH!

rolled 22 = 22

>>16760746
EAT HIM! EAT HIM WHOLE!

rolled 15 = 15

>>16760746

Kill the elder with the club before eating both.

>>16760746
SMASH HIS FUCKING HEAD IN

>>16760763
To stop this problem you need a limit to witch u take rolls OP.

rolled 26 = 26

>>16760746
Crunch it, then crunch HIM!

rolled 36 = 36

>>16760746
1 give club to bear
2 make bear club the head of the elder until it breaks
3 eat the stone
4 GET. THE. FUCK. OUT.
5 ????
6 profit?

rolled 4 = 4

>>16760752

FUCK YES! Now if this gets us an evolution I would go for.

Necromancy Increase

and

Titanium webbing. ARMORED BEAR TITAN GO!

rolled 14 = 14

>>16760746

Murder the elder, level up, kill everything.

>>16760752
You look the elder dead in the eye. Then you bite down on the bone club, HARD, with your improved jaw strength. You feel the crystal sliding down your throat, much like the yellow one-

>the red crystal resonates

- and you double up, feeling magma spike through your veins again. The elder growls and scrabbles for something in his pockets- but all that fades into the distance because

>CRYSTAL POWER ACTIVATES.
>MYSTERIOUS TIME STREAM EVOLVES YOU.
__________________
Choose:
- 1 existing Unnatural Power to UPGRADE
- 5 Body Part Improvements (yes, FIVE)

rolled 8 = 8

>>16760752
Indeed!

rolled 19 = 19

>>16760844

NECROMANCY

INCREASED BRAIN
VOCAL CORDS
RENDING CLAWS
BONY HIDE
TITANIUM WEBBING

rolled 20 = 20

>>16760844
Shapeshifting!

Thicker skin! Scales! Denser muscles! Sharper teefs! Independent eyes!

rolled 29 = 29

>>16760859

THIS! A THOUSAND TIMES THIS!

rolled 29 = 29

>>16760859
Seconding. Repeating >>16760775 but with added mocking of chinaman elf with our fancy new voicebox.

rolled 39 = 39

>>16760844
Necromancy!

Teeth!
Feet/Legs!
Increased brain!
Webbing!
Vocal cords!

rolled 24 = 24

>>16760859

Good choices, but could we replace Bony hide with something like...I dunno actually. 6 eyes on our head?

>>16760878
Actually, switch teeth with eyes.
Feel free to add something else!

rolled 32 = 32

>>16760844
improved necromancy
stronger webbing
better eyes
better nose
stronger bones
gecko fingers

Oh wow, holy shit we have a WINNING consensus for once.

rolled 38 = 38

>>16760844
Calming Aura LVL3

Brain Upgrade X2!
Titanium Webbing
Toughen Hide
Bite/Mouth-Hook Upgrade.

rolled 5 = 5

>>16760160
Emit calming pulse! Massive glorping calming pulse cannon go!

Also eat him. Definately eat him. If he tries to resist, bash him in the balls with the club, then tear them off with our tongue. Wash mouth out afterwards.

rolled 19 = 19

>>16760844

Necromancy.

Body improvements: Increased muscle strength, better armor, skin camouflage, brain improvement, fucking increased claw durability.

rolled 40 = 40

>>16760879
Sounds awesome, but let's replace Vocal Cords instead.
Also, Shadow-walking! Before our bear gets smashed and we lose our one shot at such an awesome power.

rolled 2 = 2

Necromancy.

Better webbings
Vocal cords
Brain increase
muscle mass increase
tougher armor.

rolled 22 = 22

>>16760859
Necromancy lvl 2

Claws for rending and climbing
A better brain
Leg upgrades to move faster
Titanium webbing
Jaw upgrade.

rolled 40 = 40

>>16760898
>>16760878

Beat by one, ya'll like that necromancy.

How about:
Necromancy

Calming Aura LVL3

Brain Upgrade X2!
Titanium Webbing
Toughen Hide
Bite/Mouth-Hook Upgrade.

rolled 11 = 11

>>Be the other guy

rolled 19 = 19

>>16760844
Boost Necromancy

Better Eyes, Strength, Body Size, Armor, and Brain.


Alt response: put all points into Gleeping for cheesiest minmax gamebreak.

>>16760913
I dunno, I quite like us just going blorp at everything.

If we do get vocal chords, lets use them sparingly.

>Blorp

>>16760913

We don't have Shadowwalking, the Bear did, and we can't take another power. So, Upgrade necromancy and do everything.

>>16760859

Said but replace Vocal cords with 6 eyes? Fuck yeah.

rolled 13 = 13

>>16760923

What the fuck!

OKAY CUTTING OFF VOTING HERE BECAUSE HOLY SHIT SO MANY HIGH ROLLS AND CHOICES

rolled 2 = 2

>>16760923
Durp, left calming in as a typo.
And rolled max!

Necromancy has great power.

rolled 22 = 22

Why nobody has asked for tentacles?
I want spikes, tentacles of the draining kind, brain improvement, feathers and wings just because.
And shadow-walking.

>>16760939
>>16760937

This OP. Is what we ended up with.

why dont we improve the bones too?
yeah the hide protect us from the spear...but not if they toss us a rock...

I for one welcome our 6 Eyed, bone armored, Calming, Powerful necromancer riding in a giant skeletal bear-chimera covered in Titanium webbing overlords.

rolled 34 = 34

>>16760935
That's what I meant, replace the proposed vocal-cord upgrade with the many-eye upgrade. I'm a fan of the blorp too.

ALL RIGHT SO OUR LIST OF NEW ADDITIONS ARE AS FOLLOWS CORRECT?

NECROMANCY

INCREASED BRAIN
6 EYES
RENDING CLAWS
BONY HIDE
TITANIUM WEBBING

rolled 38 = 38

>>16761028
This is acceptable.

>>16761028

MY KINGDOM FOR THE BLORP! DRAWFRIEND!

>>16761028
Yup. Typing post now!

>>16761028
No, I think it's:

Necromancy LVL2

Brain Upgrade X2!
Titanium Webbing
Toughen Hide
Bite/Mouth-Hook Upgrade.

From the 40.

>>16760923
>>16760913
2 forties. Egad.

OP

Next thread, include the RULES of EVO in the opening post.

Like the chieftan said.
"Fight for survival and for food.
Only move forward, never move back.
Evolve and become strong."

Just...try to fit that in every thread. It's almost like a mantra for this sort of thing.

/co/, don't play favorites, alright? We owe no allegiance to these Sunfangs. We must move forward.

>>16761064
Oh FFFFFF-

In that case, I'll swap the six eyes out for the improved mouth hooks. That'll keep most of the consensus while bringing in the second max roll.

>>16761028
>>16761064
Well, they are close to each other, maybe a combination?

Nercomancy
Double Brain Upgrade
Bony Hide
Six Eyes
Titanium Web
Mouth and Claw Upgrade?

Must...remain...conscious...long...enough...to...BLORP

rolled 4 = 4

>>16760937
My bad, I thought we were gaining its powers through our necromancy somehow. Gah, one maxed roll and suddenly it's not enough to randomly skim the thread anymore!

Theme music for our power up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDZenKEYAMI&feature=player_embedded

>>16760859
>>16760885
>>16760913
>POWER: Necromancy Lvl. 2
>Titanium Webbing
>Brain++
>Rending Claws
>Bone Hide
>Parasitic Mouth-Hooks++

When your vision finally clears, you... you feel stronger in almost every part of your body. Your feet are horrible kill-machines, your mouth is one big horrible kill-machine, your ASS is one big horrible-

"I thought you were merely a super-evolved frog, but this-! This changes everything! This is blasphemy! He PROMISED me! The crystal's true powers should be ours alone!"

Before you can explore the rest of your powers, your attention is instantly caught by the elder in front of you, who has a green crystal clasped in his hands. His face is INCANDESCENT with rage.

"DIE."

He pops the crystal into his mouth and-

>CRYSTAL POWER ACTIVATED. RETURN TO FORMER BODY.

- the elder seems to explode upwards, a never-ending pillar of green scale. You backpedal as the elder continues growing; heavily muscled legs tipped with killing claws, a powerful tree-trunk tail, and, somewhere up there, a maw full of teeth, each of them nearly as large as you are.

>FACE THE MIGHT OF TYRANT KINGS... THE MOST IMPORTANT ANCESTOR!

The rest of the battle between the sunfang and the woodfolk seems to fade into the background; this is a battle for the ages. You dimly register the presence of your faithful bear skeleton limping up to stand besides you; its bones are fractured, but there are many pieces of woodfolk between its teeth.

With an earth-shaking roar, the tyrant king prepares to stomp you, its ponderous foot moving deceptively fast.

>COMMAND?

>>16761195
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISTUj3ytaQo&feature=channel_video_title

rolled 8 = 8

>>16761195
Have the bear throw us at the tyrant king's throat.

>>16761195
Web that bitch up, climb him, and drain him down to the last drop.

rolled 27 = 27

>>16761195
Have Bearbones charge him to knock him off balance, titanium web him to the ground, and use increased necomantic powers to raise more minions.

rolled 38 = 38

>>16761195
Begin Blorping the Empire Strikes Back Theme.

We want to start webbing his legs. Web his motherfucking legs. Run around one, get a good wrap going with our titanium webbing and then duck to the other. Drop that motherfucker.

rolled 3 = 3

>>16761195
Quick! Tongue whip out way onto the back of the beast!
Then Bite/Claw right into the base of the neck!

>>16761226
Forgot my roll

rolled 6 = 6

>>16761195

Use our necromancy to tear its skeleton out of its flesh, if we can't do that. Rope tongue our way up to its face. Web its mouth with our titanium webbing. Claw the FUCK out of its eyes. Puncture its fucking BRAIN with our hooks and TEAR OUR WAY THROUGH ITS SKULL WITH OUR FANGS.

>>16761233
what the fuck why isn't it working?

fuck it.

>>16761195
Dive out of the way, then web his foot to the ground. Then see if you can use your new necro powers and use the bits of woodfolk lying around to fashinon a new form foe Bearbones.

rolled 17 = 17

>>16761195
he is huge and cant reach every part of his body...
time to suck blood and info while at his forehead

rolled 31 = 31

Don't forget our tongue lasso!
Indiana Jones swing time.

rolled 37 = 37

>>16761239
roll

rolled 2 = 2

>>16761195
Scramble away from the foot, have the bear skeleton jump onto it and start climbing while we fire webs in hopes of keeping it steady and in-place.

rolled 21 = 21

>>16761231
I gotta be able to roll better than that.

>>16761230
This is going to be so awesome. We are going to need to make a giant bear at some point. You know. For bearslappng peoples shit.

rolled 33 = 33

Let's parasite this bitch.

rolled 25 = 25

>>16761328

Longer Arms*

rolled 11 = 11

>>16761195
Parasite the cunt.

rolled 30 = 30

>>16761195
Parasite, But use teeth and claws to grip on that bitch.

>>16761230
>>16761239
>>16761251
You wriggle right the fuck out of the way- no, you FLAIL, gripping the ground with your claws and hurling yourself end over end- right before the foot comes down. Airborne, you aim and shoot your web, now a silvery reflective gray as opposed to pale white, and nail the tyrant king right on the foot.

With a snarl, the tyrant king pulls his foot away, tugging the string taut and pulling you with it- you'll feel THAT shit in the morning. You whip around like a tether ball, glancing off a few mud huts, but your bone armor absorbs the worst of it, and you kick off and manage to cling to the other leg; the string has looped around ONCE...

But it works, by sheer dint of luck. The tyrant king roars and starts running, trying to dislodge you- and the first step he takes causes him to trip and land on his side (AWAY from you, thank goodness), crushing huts and unfortunate sunfang and woodfolk.

>IMPUDENT LITTLE--!

You barely have time to start climbing up the tyrant's leg before he throws his head back and ROARS. You can feel the power in the air, but whatever he just did, it hasn't happened yet...

Your Bearbones, left behind when the tyrant king started tripping, is limping toward you for lack of a better order.

>COMMAND?

rolled 39 = 39

>>16761371
Tongue lasso to the back of his head, use our awesome new claws to open up his skull, and EAT HIS FUCKING BRAIN!

rolled 30 = 30

>>16761371
Reinforce bearbones, then do this
>>16761388

rolled 26 = 26

>>16761388
I like this one.

rolled 7 = 7

>>16761371

>>16761316
Re:Parasite that bitch.

Tongue lash up to his neck and dig in.

rolled 6 = 6

>>16761371
This creature is huge! So it must have HUGE GUTS!
RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR!!
(Burrow in and WRECK SHIT UP)

rolled 18 = 18

>>16761371
Send bearbones to go for the eyes. Or the groin, failing that. Make sure he watches out for the teefs.

We need to start climbing up his leg, spewing web all the while as a safety line and get to the back of his neck. Then we will parasite him, use him to stomp the woodfolk and then make him laydown while bearbones bearslaps his t-rex shit.

Then eat him.

SMITE HIM

rolled 31 = 31

>>16761405

rolled 16 = 16

>>16761388
All rolls! Focus on that!
The Tyrant King is goin' down.

rolled 7 = 7

>>16761394

>>16761371
Get up on the kings head and tear at his eyes, like how you killed the bear. when he screams, tell bearbones to charge down his gullet.

rolled 27 = 27

>>16761425
roll

The T-Rex was never the final boss.

It was just...the start of something new.

>>16761388
>Tongue lasso to the back of his head, use our awesome new claws to open up his skull, and EAT HIS FUCKING BRAIN!
Going with this! But...

ROLL D40 FOR SUCCESS! Taking the first three rolls. 35 and above passes.

If this works, you'll make it up, slice through, and disable him in record time.
If not... well, you'll make it up. BUT.

GO!

rolled 23 = 23

>>16761445
GG

rolled 25 = 25

>>16761445
Rolling

rolled 5 = 5

>>16761388
If his skull's too thick, burrow into his ribcage and get that crystal back!

rolled 35 = 35

>>16761445
FOR GLORY!!!

rolled 9 = 9

>>16761445

>>16761457
Well, fuck.

>>16761459
4th roll after post, but third that linked to the post. Does it count?

rolled 17 = 17

>>16761459
>Fourth roll

Really? Fuckdammit.

rolled 39 = 39

>>16761459

Please for the love of god take this one because it was the third that linked back to the post. Please, please.

rolled 22 = 22

>>16761457

This one dont count, he was replying to the older post

rolled 23 = 23

>>16761445

Steel unload, final blow
We the animals take control
Hear us now, clear and true
Wretches and kings we come for you
-Wretches and Kings (Linkin Park)

how absurdly fitting. Tyrant king, we come for you!

>laugh because holy shit whyyy
>start typing up "not quite" post

>>16761469

................ my god.

For the record-
>>16761457
was responding to-
>>16761388

SO,
>>16761459
is the third response to-
>>16761445
!!

Woo!

rolled 4 = 4

>>16761498

FUCK YES! DELICIOUS BRAIN MEATS! NOW TO RAISE OUR NEW SKELETAL HOST! THE TYRANT KING IS OURS!

rolled 17 = 17

>>16761457
fffffffffff-
Sorry, guys.

>>16761499
Fate, Fate loves the Blorp!

rolled 9 = 9

>>16761506

It doesn't count because you responded to the wrong post.

Our bear has served us well, but imagine the ROOM in that titanic skeleton!
We might be able to fit the entire tribe in there. Or atleast the warriors. With some clever application of leaves to make it non-sticky for our own men, of course.

>>16761371
The Tyrant Lizard King has stubby arms and a big, big gut.

He is huge. Which means he has huge guts.
RIP AND TEAR! (Damn right, Doomguy.)

rolled 33 = 33

>>16761520
I forgot my roll.

Rollin for RIP AND TEAR.

SO! Does this mean we have a luxury suite inside the Tyrant King's cranium as it moves about now?

rolled 35 = 35

That was fucking close.

rolled 36 = 36

OP WE NEED A NEW THREAD WE ARE AUTOSAGE

>>16761539
Someone archive this, quickly.

>>16761454
>>16761455
>>16761388
........ >>16761459

>OFF! GET YOUR SLIMY, FILTHY PAWS OFF ME!

The tyrant king starts thrashing from side to side- but you see it coming and tongue-lasso a nearby branch and pull up and out of the way, swinging around like a goddamn frog-monkey before landing back on his head.

- the tyrant king's eyes swivel crazily as he realizes just where you landed.

>No! NO! I WILL CRUSH--

And then... it screams in pain as you dig into its right eye with your razor claws; you are virtually swimming in an all-you-can-eat-deathfest of blood, gore, and optic gunk, but you have one destination in mind.

The tyrant king thrashes in agony, but you're too far in for him to dislodge you or smash you against the ground.

>AAGH! N-NO! YOU WILL NEVER EAT- WILL BE DESTROYED- B-BOOOAAAAAA-

The sunfangs and the woodfolk look on in terrified awe as the tyrant king's body twitches as you proceed to give the former 'elder' the worst lobotomy in the history of everything imaginable...

And then they all shriek and look UP as a glowing molten rock begins rocketing downward, right at the woodfolk village...

... the tyrant king's unnatural power, and his parting gift.

>THREAD END. TO BE CONTINUED.

... PROBABLY A GOOD PLACE TO STOP because I will die if I start a new thread at 1 am.

Sorry it dragged a little bit at the beginning; I'm going to try and figure out what to do in case of future TRIBAL SHENANIGANS.

This quest will continue probably at the same time tomorrow: 8 pm EST, give or take half an hour. Thanks for following the quest!

>>16761583
And you guys said tongue wouldn't be useful.

rolled 16 = 16

>>16761583

Time to get that crystal out of that stomach and dip the fuck outta there.

I love you evoquest op. You are the best.

Archived! And now I'm going to collapse.

If you guys have any thoughts or suggestions or criticisms that you want to lay on me, leave 'em here and I hopefully will be able to catch them later!

OH BULLSHIT! Does this mean we have to reset back into a fucking retard mouse-lizard thing just like in EVO?

>>16761680
fffff GOD no

Tyrant King isn't nearly strong enough to fuck over the world like that. OR your hard-won evolutionary traits.

>>16761721

Have I told you that I love you? I think I have, not sure. But anyway are we powerful enough to turn the Tyrant King's skeleton into a dragon by replacing its arms with longer ones and creating bone wings using the titanium webbing to make "cloth" for them?

>>16761795
... fff all this love is just- I have no idea how to react to /tg/ giving me love, except perhaps just to stare, marvel, and wonder if I'm not in some sort of bizarro reverse world.

anyway... as much as I'd love to see a giant web-winged t-rex skeleton ferrying the entire sunclaw around like an airship, we're currently at Necromancy Lvl. 2, which I planned to have a description as something like

>You can raise enough bones to create something approximating TWO BEAR-SIZED skeletons

... so it's not likely.

Unless people get a 'best-of-three 39-40' roll or something.

rolled 14, 24, 24, 29, 22, 24, 36, 12, 25, 28, 23, 26, 13, 3, 40, 1, 3, 1, 20, 15, 6, 37, 23, 21, 30 = 500

>>16761874

Really now?

>>16761956

>One 40

>>16761874
>unless
>not until

OP, you're not learning very much from this experience, are you?

But yeah, this is a great quest thread, son. We haven't had one this good in a while. Heretic Quest was pretty fun, but it was ruined by a bunch of faggots going HURR WAIFU over the quest's protagonist having an eldar harlot as his first mate. Died at its fifth thread or so. Sad, sad day when one cannot mention a female character in a /tg/ quest without someone freaking the fuck out...

... And meanwhile, there's a quest thread on /tg/ RIGHT NOW about a bee woman. Which I think is intended to become pornography. Or has already. Yet noone questions that!

But that's nothing to worry about. For this is EVO QUEST.

In other news, where on Earth can I actually FIND E.V.O? I have no idea where to find a cartridge and it frustrates me to no end.

>>16761956
>>16761963
I TOLD YOU, OP. I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE CRITICAL HITS! I TOLD YOU, BRAH! I TOLD YOU ABOUT CRITS!

>>16761956
>>16761963

>>16762009
>>16762021

>That feel when my crits succeed in breaking OP's sanity.

>>16762009
CLEARLY I STAND CORRECTED

Anyway, I'm glad you like the quest!

>But that's nothing to worry about. For this is EVO QUEST.
Yeah- truth be told, I want to avoid that sort of thing pretty much because it derails threads like nothing else.

... thankfully, nothing in the game's bestiary so far, planned or otherwise, has anything remotely attractive in it, so.

>>16762063
But it does have bro as fuck lizardmen. Lizardmen who will worship us as their God of Death sooner or later.

>>16762162
Lizardmen are just food for us.

As are all things.

>>16764105
That's just your opinion, man. I want us to conquer shit, and a bunch of lizardmen who worship us will make that easier.