That's probably the only one you can do without sounding like a tool

Bull in a china shop.

A minotaur has broken loose from its old dungeon and taken up residence in a shop selling high-end tableware.

>>16727348
Sounding like a tool is irrelevant.

You are what you eat.
A necromancer conducts hideous studies involving zombies and humans to transcend human mortality.

A Bird in the Hand is Worth Two in the Bush

A Wizard cons a merchant out of a rare bird by convincing him there are two in a nearby bush via ghost sound and a familiar

"life ain't shit but hoe's and tricks"

A rogue devotes all his energies to cheap card tricks and easy women.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Players recover magical fruit with curative powers that make clerics/ healing potions unnecessary.

"A golden key (money) opens any door."
There is a rumor about a magic key capable of opening any lock.
OR
There is a rumor about a magical device that if it is given enough gold it will open any lock.

Many hands make light work.

Multi-armed golems begin to replace biological workers in manual labor.

I can't believe it's not butter!

A Wizard has cast Silent Image at the breakfast table, and his save DC is too high.

A thing of beauty is a joy forever

Wizard is going to reverse engineer Medusa and curse beautiful women so that whenever they look at someone it inflicts permanent Otto's irresistible. dance.

No Man Is An Island

A female Earth Elemental Giant has been taking a nap the last 500 years in the middle of a great lake.
A hermit lives on her brow, but when she awakes again, he flees to town and warns them of the awakened giant.

>>16727384
Isn't that a bit too common?

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

The child of a player's defeated nemesis follows in their parent's footsteps. (I know, this one is fgurative, not literal. you get what you pay for, asshole

A stitch in time saves nine.

An ancient array of nine beasts were slain long ago by an army led by a group of heroes; however, a time mage seeks to undo history, and prevent the beasts from being defeated.

Give a man enough rope and he will hang himself

Several hundred years ago it became common practice to send your enemies decanters of endless rope.

"It's a dog eat dog world"
That creepy dog-world story, that's out there on archive.
"Better safe than sorry"
A mimic becomes an iron chest, protecting its soft heart.
"Dead men tell no tales"
Undead storyteller.
"Don't judge a book by its cover"
Sentient book tried for making a spellcaster insane and ordering him to summon horrors from beyond the physical universe.

One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready.

A Rogue, a Bard, and a Wizard create an adventuring group.

>>16727460
AND GO GO GO BUT DON'T YOOOOOU
STEP ON MY BLACK LEATHER ARMOR!!

>>16727460
So this...

>>16727457
>>That creepy dog-world story, that's out there on archive.
What's that? Can anon provide a link, please?

>>16727486
Plus this?

"A little learning is a dangerous thing."
The PCs stumble upon a mysterious case of horribly mutilated corpses that only share one thing in common, a book with instructions for a very simple summoning and a single Entity's name. The catch is that whoever reads the book is compelled to summon the creature whenever he is alone/isolated from others.
"All roads lead to Rome."
A pair of magic boots, when worn, will always lead the wearer to a lost mythical city.
"Many a true-word is spoken in jest."
The Curse of Cassandra has taken hold of a local (Important Person) and now nobody can take them seriously due to everything they say sounds like a joke.

>a bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush
The fast paced world of bird commerce?

>The rolling stone gathers no moss

A great rolling boulder is tearing apart the countryside; The only way to stop it is to cover it with plant-life.

A penny saved is a penny earned.

The PCs adventure in a world where money is literally impossible to make by mortal means - the only way to acquire it is to rescue it from diabolical monsters.

The cat is out of the bag now.

An ancient evil druid was trapped inside a magical bag, has been recently released and seeks revenge.

"The Law is an ass."
The local ruler has gone insane and has placed a Donkey in charge of laws. The Donkey is actually an Imp in disguise. Shenanigans will now ensue.

>>16727553
The Druid also happens to be an Awakened Manul

"There's a sucker born every minute."

The PCs must save a town from being overrun by hideous fast-breeding vampire monsters.

>>16727492
Anyone has answer?

>>16727558
>The local ruler has gone insane and has placed a Donkey in charge of laws. The Donkey is actually a giant chicken. Shenanigans will now ensue.

>>16727492
I don't think I can.
It's on 4chanarchive as far as I recall. Should be easy to find with phrases like "dog world". It started as a thread about alternative interpretation on Dr. Seuss' stuff - one of the threads links to the other one, both are worth reading.

"Don't look a gifted horse in the mouth."
This is because gifted horses can breathe fire.

"A man who has two dogs need no wife" (He gets barked at enough when he comes home)
Someone invented a method to transform two dogs into women, this caused human women to become obsolete as the dog-turned-women were cheaper to maintain and were more obedient.
However they turned out to be sterile. Now the women have moved into the forests and live in all-female barbarian tribes together with the orcs and created the new race of half-orcs due to snoo-snoo.
I dunno.

"When in Rome, you have to shake the hand of a badger's dad"

Louis CK shows up, take kidnaps one of the PCs to marry them in Rome. When he introduces the prospective bride to his father, it turns out that Louis was a badger this whole time.

Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth

The PCs need to summon a minor god or eudaemon/have contracted a lethal disease/for some reason need a specific magical recipe.
A witch claims to have the recipe, but will only give it away if the PCs get her and eye and a tooth each.

Ironically, giving her one eye and a teeth cures the disease.

Optional deus ex: it turns out she's actually a good faerie/spirit/whatever and magics the eyes and teeth back into their respective faces... idk...

Every dog has its day.

A plague is spreading across the lands, slowly infecting every canine with lycanthropic power - one new breed each day.

>>16727587
I love you.

>>16727604
>the new race of half-orcs due to snoo-snoo
Fetish fuel...


For my new fetish...

Time is money.

Large amounts of cash in one area can literally distort time and space, causing wormholes and rifts and rich people getting screwed up with a skewed perception of time and space in general.

>>16727621

>>16727603
Bah, no luck.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
In this world all healers are secretly some sort of energy vampire, purposly failing to save some (1 in 10 or 20) of their patients to drain their life energy. They are repulsed by apples like real vampires are to garlic.

>Don't knock it until you've tried it
A caution against using spells impulsively - before trying to magically unlock a door, check to see if it's actually locked.

>Does a bear shit in the woods?

They shit fire whenever someone within the vinicity of the forest asks a painfully obvious question.

Had a rather shitty day up until this thread, quite a few laughs.

I like this board. I like you guys.

Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.

There's an invincible wizard who wakes up early, before anyone else in the neighboring village, and steals their lifeforce, cash and mystical brain knowledge.
Your goal is to keep him up all night, so that he snoozes when he should be collecting power and is therefor vulnerable the next day.

>>16727732
I'm going out on a limb and suggesting Bards will be the MVP on this adventure.

"The pen is mightier than the sword"
Think "Death Note" except EVERYONE has that power, as long as they know someone's name they can kill them by writing down how that person dies.

>>16727660
Try dogscape instead

>>16727847

Suddenly everyone but one person in every city is dead.

Wars are fought by people trying every social trick that they know to convince the last remaining survivors to spill out their name to the rest of the people present at small wine mixers.

>>16727847
I'd have gone with an ogre wielding a gigantic pen as a club but that's just me.

Anywhoo, this thread needs archival.

>>16727847

Some asshole demon lord has provided the people of a township with artifacts that, when a persons full name is written in, grants the owner dominance over the person in the book, able to command or suggest by writing on the page the name is on.

Cue inter-party problems and no clue what's going on because no-one's dying, just acting out, and has to figure out and solve the problem without stepping outside the bounds of suggestions or commands from the person who owns their book.

>Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

A group is going around raising the reputation of the players by disguising as them and perform heroic feats, but are there actions really that selfless...

"We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are."
Localized doppleganger creatures are overwhelming a town. People see in the creatures their strongest desire, regardless of what other people see at the same time.
"If you don't control your mind, someone else will."
A city of the enlightened, who cast their votes by giving their wills to their candidate, who then controls them for the duration of their term. What happens when someone resents being the minority leader?
"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself."
A religious/political leader decides, after a series of failed policy changes, to avert a revolution by staging a coup against himself.
"Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes."
PCs earn experience only for cock-ups. Killing the dragon? That's fine. Didn't take a wound? No experience.
Holy shit, why didn't I think of that sooner. HP->Exp connection. Totally going to come up with a system there.

>>16728305
oh god yes. so many shenanigans that could create!

"Hi, I'm Garrick Thunderhammer"
"...no you're not. Garrick Thunderhammer is like a foot taller than you."

>Takes one to know one.

A well organised group of changelings are systematically replacing members of noble, aristocratic, and royal houses, impossible to distinguish from the real thing.

The only way to know for sure, is to convince one to help identify others, but how are you to find one in the first place?

>A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush

You must help an amorous but sexually deviant princess who-

No you know what nevermind

No you know what nevermind.