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  • File : 1319084254.jpg-(391 KB, 667x500, Stone_Incinerate.jpg)
    391 KB Your Most Glorious Death Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:17 No.16680180  
    I'm sure all of us here have died at one point or another in a game, whether it be by another player or just simple folly. I'd like to hear about such stories.

    What was the most glorious way (either in amount of awesome, circumstance, how annoying the cleanup afterwards was or whatever else) that your character or other characters have died?

    Here's mine:

    Dark Heresy (the game of glorious death), the rest of the party are having slapstick shenanigans involving an exploding collar, piggyback riding an Ogryn and sexing the governors mistress.

    My character manages to slip away from all of the excitement and starts looking through documents for our assassination targets, as the party feels that things might not be as simple as they seem (they rarely are).

    After looking through shipping records and the like, getting partially exploded by a fire bomb and stealing a bolt pistol, he finds a stairway that leads down.

    >Test Awareness. Fail.
    >Awareness again. Fail.
    Character trips two screamer alarms, and shoots them out.

    Further down the stairs, there's glass cases with suits of ASTARTES POWER ARMOR painted DEATHWATCH colors. Whatever shit this was for, it got real.

    Door slides open on the other side of the room, fucking gun servitor with a lascannon arm comes out, murder-tron mode. I win initiative, blast a revolver round to its face, do shit-all damage. Distort vision and strafe to the side for cover.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:18 No.16680189
    Is that MTG Card art?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:27 No.16680288
    Servitor shoots, misses. Swiss cheese out of the fucking wall. Go blind from the glare for a round.

    Spend next round behind cover, flashbang the thing to stun it. It recovers from stun, but loses its turn. Great.

    Pop out, full auto at it. One damage. It's taken three out of ten wounds. Fuck.

    Lascannons through the cover, still take light wounding. 6/13 wounds left. Pop out with bolt pistol, aim for its charge pack. Shoot. Damage it, slightly. Enough for it to leak...and explode.

    Off goes the charge pack, 15m radius explosion. I'm 28 meters out, so alls cool with this psyker.

    Then the power packs on the Astartes armor gets breached. Goes off. Blows up. We spend an hour rolling damage, and to see if the charge packs blow up. They do.


    Ten suits of Astartes Power Armor blow up, taking down this entire room with them. And me. I try to burn fate, but the explosion is so complete, that I'm incinerated (picture in first post related). All the 20+ kilograms of ammo I'm carrying go off, it's a big fucking mess. No way to fate out of this one.

    Now this entire section of the building is nonexistent, but that's not the best part.

    I was caught on camera before entering the room.
    My party was sent here by a non-inquisitorial Rogue Trader to assassinate someone, someone that the Inquisition was suspicious of. My character wanted evidence and fucked up. Now everyone in the party is deemed an accomplice. And the Deathwatch were on their way to pick up the armor.

    Whoops. Glad I died.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:29 No.16680318
    Also, yes. I believe it is. Looks like older MtG art. I just googled (Incinerate) and it came up as a result.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:31 No.16680335

    Great, thanks.

    Also, on topic with the thread, one of my fighters died during sex with a drider. That's glorious in its own right, right?
    >> CaptainKeyes 10/20/11(Thu)00:31 No.16680336

    In spite of my lack of the actual picture....


    Let me think for a moment of -my- character deaths...may take a moment to find the most glorious one.
    >> Mendou 10/20/11(Thu)00:40 No.16680414
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    My character had, over the course of the campaign, almost fallen in this one particular chasm three times. It was near the BBEGs stronghold. Failed jump checks, balance across a narrow plank placed as a bridge, while fleeing from monsters, etc. I had managed to save myself from certain death at the bottom twice, while another party member saved me the other time. I thought I was cursed, and this chasm was my destiny, and would some day be the death of me.


    (Continued below)
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:47 No.16680491
    >Playing Star wars Saga edition
    >Playing a Droid Noble whose main goal is to make money and fuck the consequences
    >inadvertently Kill a man's mother while trying to steal her couch
    > Inadvertently kill his father when I ordered a stormtrooper base to be nuked from orbit when I said a dangerous disease escaped and had infected all of the people
    > Inadvertently destroyed his home planet when using the m'ngal m'ngal virus to infect the stormtooper base on the planet
    > Hunts me down when we land on an extremely foggy planet to sell some strength stims for a quick buck
    > Hits me in the chest take away almost half my health
    > Fly up into the fog using my jet pack with over 1000 charges instead of dying
    > Team beats the crap out of him forcing him to retreat while I distract and insult him from the fog
    > His gun gets disarmed in the struggle but he manages to escape
    > Gun is basically my gun with straight upgrade so I equip it
    > We walk along and fight some baddies when we encounter some officers on the planet
    > The officers attempt to stop us because the man reported us to the police
    > Attempt to lie through my electronic teeth to get us off the hook
    > They take out a button and press it causing the gun I have a equipped that I took from the man to explode killing myself and forcing two of my team mates to burn force points to avoid death
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:47 No.16680492
    >Dark Heresy
    >Playing House Rules for a Navigator(before Rogue Trader came out)
    >Navigator is terrified of everything since he's never been outside a ship for long time.
    >Players survive a minor Orkish incursion
    >Return to a spaceship, Navigator feels at home again
    >Get sent to check out a Space Hulk
    >Navigator wants to take over the ship as his own
    >Ship is Demon infested
    >Through various shenanigans, Navigator reaches the control room, tries to plug into the Machine Spirit
    GM: Test for Willpower
    Me: Okay. Rolled an 11(Willpower is 49)
    GM: Failed by six degrees.
    >Navigator goes insane due to the messed up machine spirit. Spends the end of his days screaming at the ship to obey his commands, until he's found and ripped apart by Demons,


    >Playing Deathwatch
    >Same DM
    >Team encounters a Space Hulk
    >Runs into the Navigator
    >Kills him by stuffing a Krak Grenade down his throat.
    >Turns out that was him
    >> Mendou 10/20/11(Thu)00:49 No.16680511
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    In the final battle against the BBEG, an ogre mage, he was flying out over the chasm, bombarding the party with spells. Hyuga, my character, managed to leap across the chasm, grappling him in mid-air and clinging on for dear life. While in the grapple, I drew my dagger and stabbed him, leaving it there for extra leverage. My grip started to slip, and I found myself hanging on to his legs. I wasn't about to fall in that fucking chasm though. Pulling myself back up, I headbutted the dagger in deeper (damaging myself a bit as well), and pulled myself back up until we were face to face. We wrestled in mid-air for a few more rounds, with me punching, biting and trying my best to keep him occupied while the rest peppered him with arrows and spells in the back.

    Finally, as we both neared death (single-digit HP each), I released my grip long enough to Quick Draw / Iaijutsu Strike, stabbing him deep with my sword and again, holding on to it for dear life. However, we both plummeted into the ravine and, well, I just couldn't survive the fall at that point.

    Destiny fulfilled, I guess.
    >> Voice of Storm 10/20/11(Thu)00:50 No.16680514
    Fuck year
    >World of Darkness Game
    >I'm playing a hunter character who is basically a combination of Ash from Evil Dead and McGuyver
    >Is chewed apart by monster, but saved by dumping him in the body of a Promethean
    >End of the world scenario Fae invade mankind
    >HUGE fae army of clockwork soldiers coming to fuck some shit up
    >We find weapons cache, my guy says "Go ahead without me!"
    >Everyone does
    >Rigs two bridges to blow and auto machine gun traps everywhere
    >Clockwork army getting fucked over by my traps
    >SHIT a fuckton made it through
    >Stand alone on bridge with M60 rambo style
    >rig speakers and give epic speech
    >set timer to blow bridges
    >Army gets there
    >I get owned
    >Bridge blows up
    >Not one soldier left standing.

    Bonus points for the clockwork soldiers being powered by the souls of enslaved human children. Fucking Fae
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:50 No.16680515

    This is a comparative short one. We're playing a Mekton Zeta game, loosely based on Gundam; It's near the final battle, and it's a massive fleet engagement; Missiles exploding, Mobile Suits being ripped to pieces, everyone firing ALL THE TIME.

    My 'mech, with a heavy-duty flight pack and railgun, is a capital ship killer; I zip around the battlefield and gut them with my heavy weapon. The problem is, in an 'All-Guns-Blazing' run on the enemy flagship, I fly *right* into the path of one of the flak barrages.

    Rolling...Right arm gone, shit, that was the railgun. Left leg gone, which isn't so bad. Canopy cracked...The cockpit's venting atmosphere, and I don't have a spacesuit. Our corvette is in flames, and the other ships are desperately fighting for our lives.

    Before I die from explosive decompression, I redline the engine, and scream: "FOR THE DOMINION OF MAN! DEATH TO ALL SPACENOIDS!" Before smashing my mech face-first into the flagship's bridge.

    My engine explodes. Then the warheads I'm carrying. Then all my remaining fuel. So does the enemy ship.

    We also realized, actually, this it's much more effective to ram ships with mobile suits than to actually fire on them. This is the kind of thinking which created Gundam 00's Gaga.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:52 No.16680534

    My bad, it should be:


    Also, two other players died shortly afterward (One burnt a Fate point to be 'merely crippled'), in a blistering firefight with the antagonist's 'Vigilance' mech.
    >> Voice of Storm 10/20/11(Thu)00:52 No.16680541
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    DM liked the character so much that he plugged in the Franken Fran character at the end of the campaign to bring him back to life.

    Interesting campaign
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:53 No.16680553
    >> Playing Dark Heresy for the first time with a group of people of whom I only know one.
    >> Roll up a guardsman, get my hands on a vox caster and along the way, set up relays with trusted peoples
    >>Depths of a Hive City, Inquisitorial Cruiser in orbit, half of party dead, daemons spilling out of a warp rift, DM is railroading us into a certain direction
    >>"I vox the Inquisitor, Exterminatus on my position"
    >>DM Troll Face "Your Vox can't reach that far"
    >>Me Troll Facing harder "Relays already set up, remember"
    >>DM "Fine, roll, but you better have a damn good one to convince the Inquisitor"
    >>The Emperor Protects
    >>Hive City annihilated, DM allows everyone to reroll characters with any experience gained up to the end of said session
    >>"Do I get XP for 6 billion kills?"
    >>DM kicks me out
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:55 No.16680576

    Aren't good guys, like, not supposed to be violent fascists? But then again, if you're killing the space dudes, you're a good guys by default.

    The guys in space are always evil. ALWAYS.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:57 No.16680600
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    your character pulled a YOU SHALL NOT PASS! to a clockpunk army, nice

    But your DM liked him? and he used FRANKEN FRAN to bring him back to life? must have been an interesting story
    >> Voice of Storm 10/20/11(Thu)01:00 No.16680616
    Yep, actually said


    And give Fran some credit, he came back more like his original form than the first time.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)01:03 No.16680643
    DH, huh?
    I'm playing a Redemptionist Cleric with an Eviscerator.
    >psyker rolls phenomena
    >perils roll is 99
    >no Fate Points left
    An unbound fucking daemonhost pops up in the middle of a fucking hive.
    Everyone opens up on it, does shit-all damage. It kills the techpriest with contemptuous ease.
    I use my last Fate Point to activate The Unforgiving Blade, and do a good amount of damage. The thing just laughs and fries the Guardsman. Now, I had on me a bunch of promethium explosives that I made myself. I tell my GM I want to martyr myself while everyone escapes (if you've never read it, you do an unavoidable hit then die), activating the grenades at the same time.
    The entire tunnel collapses on us, and I die screaming praises to the Emperor.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)01:05 No.16680663
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    The end of a campaign that has taken our party from 5th level to 21st level.

    We run into the large mountain lair of this bitch who has been harassing us through mirror images throughout the campaign. Finally get to her throne room. Pearls of power EVERYWHERE in the room. Piles of them. Think Scrooge McDuck piles of gems.

    I am playing a monk, focusing on being able to walk up and hit like a million fucking times.

    The bitch starts to monologue about some bullshit. My character is having none of this. I was tired of her bullshit. I charge up and punch the dirty bitch in the face. Two lucky crits in a row later, she be dead.

    The look of shock on my DMs face was priceless. "Uhhh... She had a contingency spell set. Set to release all the energy in all the pearls of power at once."

    I got a natural 20 on the reflex save to not be vaporized by the release of magic. Natural 1 reflex save to avoid the mountain falling on me.

    Several other people saved enough times to survive. I did not. We joked that my character survived the collapse, and was able to transform into a dragon to dig my way out (I took the entirety of 'Initiate of the Draconic Mysteries')

    Ended the campaign, and fucking blew up a mountain.
    >> Voice of Storm 10/20/11(Thu)01:07 No.16680682
    I chuckled a bit :D
    >> Voice of Storm 10/20/11(Thu)01:08 No.16680691
    So the DM wouldn't have saved your character by doing the whole dragon thing?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)01:14 No.16680724

    If the campaign had continued, we probably would have said that, or gotten a good ressurection done. It was an evil campaign, and the entire party was working for the same evil church (Cult of the Dragon in Faerun). I was a good enough servant that they probably would have helped bring me back. That monk did a lot of epic stuff for not actually being epic for most of the campaign. I can talk about his most epic moment if anyone is interested.
    >> Voice of Storm 10/20/11(Thu)01:17 No.16680745
    Ah, the reason my Hunter got resurrected by Fran was because of the characters motivation and we were thinking of possibly continuing and the DM liked that character.

    The hunter even learned a lesson. Stop being a Human supremacy asshole and save the cute monster girl and she will bring you back from the dead after you get smashed apart by clockwork behemoths and subsequently blown to bits by your own deathtrap.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)01:22 No.16680774
    Somebody get that fuckaesome story about the lvl1 Paladin, eh? With the broken tree, remember? And the fumble table?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)01:25 No.16680800
    Slightly different one here. This was a Battletech game.

    We were playing on MegaMek, and the other guy had deployed in the middle of a city. I had a fast heavy with MASC and short range weapons, so I had him run towards the enemy as fast as he could.

    Problem was, he ran on pavement.

    Needless to say, he blew his piloting skill roll on a turn and skidded off the road. The good news was that he displaced two enemy mechs, one of which fell ass over teakettle off a cliff into shallow water.

    The bad news was that he stopped his fall by crashing into and destroying a light building.

    The worse news was that it wasn't a light building, but a full fuel tank. Fucking reused sprites!

    So it turns out that we weren't fighting in a city, but in an airport, and those buildings were all fuel tanks. So those buildings we were using for cover? All phenomenally explodable.

    The resulting explosion covered the entire corner of the map and wiped out five of the eight mechs on the board, two of mine, three of his, all on the first phase of the first turn. The damage report took, I shit you not, a good twenty minutes to read, though I'll admit a lot of that time was laughter.

    Since none of our surviving mechs were within weapons range at that point, I don't think we even had a firing phase that round.
    >> Painful Elegy 10/20/11(Thu)01:25 No.16680804
    >AD&D oneshot
    >Playing Dwarf Barbarian
    >Me and group go to fight surly drake.
    >Instead of fighting drake, I choose to take no bonuses and convince it to drink with me.
    >Roll a 2 and succeed in convincing it.
    >It asks "What am I going to use for a mug?"
    >Tell him 'you can use my keg!'
    >DM: You do not have a keg.
    >Me: Really? Check my sheet.
    >Sheet has keg written on it
    >Group goes into a bout of laughter as my plan succeeds and I get in close.
    >Then halfling tries to slit it's throat.
    >Fails then acts lazy and sits onto it, and starts to ride it.
    >I try to calm it down and break into the tavern and crack open a keg in there. Roll an 18
    >I succeed in opening the keg, but the drake also accidentally lights the place on fire.
    >Choose to bust out of there. Roll a 1. Critical Success.
    >I bust out of the place in some type of insane action scene, carrying a keg on my back.
    >drake eats halfling.
    >I try to convince him one more time, but then he steps on me.
    >I get pissed and lodge my hammer in it's head.
    >Knight realizes this will be a TPK, so he uses his hammer on the wall of a building.
    >Building collapses on the drake, the knight, and me (the wizard had run off)
    >We's ded now.

    Still, that campaign was a lot of fun.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)01:27 No.16680816
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    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)01:32 No.16680843
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    Awesome. Wish I saved the screencaps and story of how someone took out an Atlas with an infantry squad.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)01:33 No.16680849

    There are no barbarians in AD&D. Or did I miss something all those years?

    Or were you just going old school as a flavourfull fighter?
    >> Painful Elegy 10/20/11(Thu)01:37 No.16680872

    Probably. I'm not to sure what the system was myself. The guy referred to it as 2e and had some really cliche sheets:

    Male Halfling Rogue - Named Stab by the player
    Male Elf Wizard - Named Rene by the player
    Male Human Knight - Named Mallet Knight
    Male Dorf (Prolly Fighter) - Named Smashy McBashMcDrinksalot

    Whatever it was, it was still fun.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)01:39 No.16680886

    Roads and cliffs are a deathtrap in Battletech. I accidentally skidded one of my mechs off an eight level cliff. It survived the fall, but I think it died from an ammo explosion when it blew a PSR trying to get up.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)01:42 No.16680910
    Are you shitting me? There's awesome 1e and 2e versions of barbarians. The 1e is pretty much Conan: the Class, as opposed to 3e's shonen-style power of feelings barbarians or 4e's magical ones.
    >> Painful Elegy 10/20/11(Thu)01:46 No.16680941

    The fun part was that I was a drunk dorf that almost won combat by convincing a drake to drink with us.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)01:46 No.16680947
    >Playing GURPs
    >Former Soldier recruited by Weapons Corporation for private military work
    >Headshots, Headshots everywhere.
    >Hit it off with the girl running our radios
    >We get completely fucked in the ass by our Corp's rival
    >Decide to go into the CEO's meeting and show them why you don't screw with us.
    >I decide I'll bust in the window.
    >Radio Girl says to be careful
    >"Don't worry, I'll be back on coms before you even know I'm gone."
    >Get to the ledge, about to burst in the window
    >"Roll Perception."
    >An 18
    >Failed to notice the cameras watching me, or what sounded like foot steps running above.
    >Bust in the window
    >Get mowed down with in a single turn, bleeding out
    >"Hey, listen, I know I said I'd be back, but I have some unfinished business. I love you. Tell the team to pull out. I'll handle this."
    >Carrying a Det-Pack of plastic explosive to level the building.
    >Guards turn away
    >Pass both rolls to get out, and arm the bomb.
    >"I set up the bomb, you won't survive. Better start praying."

    Turns out I leveled like 3 buildings in the end and killed a good chunk of innocent people, but I got the CEO and his board of directors.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)01:52 No.16680996
    What, did you fail an endurance check or something
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)01:54 No.16681003
    Female spiders eat their mates after sex, don't they? I think that's what happened, to him.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)01:55 No.16681017
    Only some species. Like Black Widows.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)02:13 No.16681155
    >"Hey, listen, I know I said I'd be back, but I have some unfinished business. I love you. Tell the team to pull out. I'll handle this."

    I don't have a proper crying reaction image, but if I did, I'd be using it right now.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)02:16 No.16681173

    Nobody? Come on, I lost it and need to get it back. Nobody remembers that most epic of all epic Paladin heroic sacrifices?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)02:18 No.16681193
    The one that critfails and decapitates himself and the enemy? I remember it, but I don't have a screenshot.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)02:19 No.16681204

    Pshhh you weren't supposed to ruin the ending. But yes, that one. he also kills the dragon and the horde of orcs.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)02:22 No.16681222
    >play a guardsmen in DH
    >roll play as faithful servant of the emperor
    >Poor man quickly becomes corrupted over our game sessions
    >during his final session we build a bunch of bombs to blow open this door
    >someone finds a way to open it with out the bombs
    >I carry as many of the bombs as I can that we made in case we need them later
    >something keeps whispering to me, telling me to kill my party
    >mange to ignore it
    >after traveling for a while we reach a large chamber
    >There we find what we were looking for
    >Suddenly a daemon shows up
    >It attempts to control our party
    >Without using any fate points I mange to pass this test with a one
    >The GM impressed, lets me do something
    >I ready the bombs and charge the daemon
    >I get to the daemon and detonate the bombs
    >Daemon and I are instantly killed

    GM later told us he wanted to kill the party with said daemon but thought me exploding the daemon was cooler.
    >> pariha !sEfWVGyOCQ 10/20/11(Thu)02:28 No.16681274
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    >shadowrun 3rd ed
    >Premade troll merc, for the shits and giggles.
    > We have to infultrate a large corperation HQ and find documents.
    > After days of info gathering and my Troll merc sitting it out somewhere, the signal is given.
    >Troll merc Kicks in the front doors, while screaming "I have come to fuck bitches.
    > I dont notice the boobytrap on the door, the street samurai trollfacing across the table.
    > large hidden bombs collapse the front half of the building on my char.

    > Next round. I DMSO/Doomvirus the shit out of that samurai.
    >get booted for substance abuse.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)02:30 No.16681291
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    took forever to find in my folder labyrinth. here you go
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)02:37 No.16681322
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    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)02:40 No.16681343
    you're a little late. see >>16681291
    also no one gives a fuck about your name on an anonymous imageboard
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)02:40 No.16681346

    My dwarf died -during- it. The drider wasn't especially okay with the idea, and s/he killed my dude right after he released the greek fire, so to speak. My DM wouldn't even tell me what gender it was, citing that my dwarf wouldn't know what either sex looks like, so he just went for whatever the closest hole was.

    Turns out he gummed up the web spinners, which was a bit of a massive emotional blow to the monster and gave it penalties to staying focused on the battle, though understandably the (female) cleric was not willing to resurrect my dwarf.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)02:43 No.16681366
    >Not me, but a player in my campaign.
    >We homebrew some alchemy rules.
    >Drinks potion
    >Makes him frictionless.
    >Slides to bottom of dungeon
    >Party has to go down and rescue him.
    >Dungeon is ancient runes, activate it
    >Dungeon shifts into tower, heroes have to avoid being crushed by the slow-moving walls, floors, etc. while fighting off panicked cultists
    >Reach top of tower
    >Boss kicks frictionless player off edge.
    >somewhere, out there, his frictionless corpse is sliding around the world
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)02:43 No.16681368
    Firstly, duh. It's right there, dumbass, it's hard to miss. It wasn't there when I went looking for it.

    Secondly, that's not my name, you asshat, I am obviously anonymous. It's a reference to pop culture.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)02:47 No.16681387
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    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)02:53 No.16681438
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    >Gummed up the web spinners
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)02:55 No.16681453
    This is pretty much how I picture that ending.

    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)02:56 No.16681458
    Yes, I am a little upset. I take offense to angry posts moreso on /tg/, where the first rule is to be cool and most gentlemen do so. But, I will wake up in the morning completely fine, and the person I responded to will still be a douchebag with his head up his ass.

    polite sage
    >> Painful Elegy 10/20/11(Thu)02:56 No.16681459

    Please go watch Little Shop of Horrors.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)02:56 No.16681463

    I can never understand if that macro is supposed to be a sarcastic response or what.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)03:00 No.16681485
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    >calls people dumbasses, asshats, douchebags
    >admits to being angry
    >says he takes offense to angry posts
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)03:02 No.16681502
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    A friend of mine was playing an Elf Wizard in 3.5 while we were playing through the "Red Hand of Doom" adventure and he's got one of the best in my group that I've seen (probably because of my inability to actually game much).

    >Fighing several Ettin in a swap
    >Wizard hanging back, blastin' some magics while rest of party does their thing
    >SUDDENLY the fighter protecting wizard goes down and Ettin 1 charges.
    >Same round a second traverses some swamp and flanks wizard
    >next round = club sandwich full of wizard meat

    Shit was awesome
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)03:03 No.16681511
    This now makes even less sense. Are you saying in the middle of a battle, your dwarf decided to rape a drider?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)03:06 No.16681521
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    Posting one from me, and one from my DM.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)03:08 No.16681530

    At the time it seemed like the thing to do.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)03:08 No.16681532
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    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)03:09 No.16681537
    >I don't understand it so it must be stupid

    If they get yelled at a lot, they might stop.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)03:12 No.16681554

    He started it, and that is all the justification I needed to let my /b/ side show. If he wanted to be angry, he could get some swearing in return. Hopefully he won't be so rude on /tg/ anymore.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)03:15 No.16681569
    Shhh...we try not to mention that place here...
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)03:21 No.16681591

    What do you think a macro is?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)03:22 No.16681600
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    Mh, next time post a "U MAD???" reaction and dont sweat it.

    Then, HE will be the mad one.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)03:23 No.16681604
    >"he started it""I sure taught him a lesson with my scary curse words"
    no one is in the right here. no one.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)03:33 No.16681664
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    Thank you for the advice, glasses-wearing newspaper reporter who otherwise has the chin, facial features, musculature, hair, voice, and overall general appearance of a super-powered alien who's identity I can't quite call to mind right now. I shall use your advice presently.

    pic related
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)03:34 No.16681668
    If I had a manlytears.jpg I'd be using it.
    >> Inquisitor Kadsirin !!0zRgmmI/1kJ 10/20/11(Thu)03:37 No.16681682

    Funny thing about this is you didn't even really need to roll for the damage, as every suit of Astartes power armor is nuclear-powered (this is how they're able to function indefinitely without charge). Just one exploding would be enough to send you into oblivion about sixty times.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)03:38 No.16681690
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    Les Miserables reference!!! SPLENDID.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)03:39 No.16681691
    Not the poster but if i was in that situation, and given that being the case I'd want to know just how badly I fucked everything up. I feel a catastrophe of that scale deserves some means of measurement.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)03:43 No.16681710
    We were playing in a game with a relatively new GM. She was using some sort of AD&D module and converting it for our pathfinder campaign. Over the course of the campaign we had tracked some criminals to the sewers underneath the city and were investigating in detail. Apparently we missed a spot check spectacularly and didn't notice that the tracks led into and then immediately out of the next chamber. We just saw them go in. So we enter the next chamber and this is the description we are given. "There are a number of logs floating in the pooled waters at the far end of the chamber. one of them is larger than the others." Ah. Alligators. We decide to do teh big one first and get it over with. Turns out it was a dire crocodile, we were level 2 at this point, and the module and the GM had expected us to leave rather than fight. Long story short over half of our party wound up in the croc's stomach and the others suffered heavy losses.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)03:55 No.16681779
    Just because something is nuclear powered doesn't mean it blows up in an explosion when it's breached. Even the Imperium isn't dumb enough to use armor that's going to take everything around it down when some chump gets lucky shot in.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)04:02 No.16681822
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    3.5 D&D. End of a planar campaign.
    >Party consists of Myself - Cleric/Crusader/Paladin of Freedom devoted to Kord, and his buddy, a Cleric/Temple Raider devoted to Olidammara. We are both human.
    >Have spent half the campaign questing to find The Last Word - the phrase of creation that can kill even a god.
    >We need it because there is a dead god, Dagon, wreaking havoc on the planes, and no one seems to be able to stop him, even the other gods.
    >Finally find it, have to seek out the god because we have to read the word in his presence.
    >Fight past his 13 scions, leave behind lots of the allies and friends we've made over the camapign, who are willing to occupy them while we race for his chamber
    >Burst in on him, and he takes the form of a mishappen, dark-scaled dragon
    >We fight him briefly, but get him monologueing about how unfair everything is. It strikes us how childlike he is.
    >Open the envelope and read the Word, which up until this moment, we hadn't even seen.
    >Halfway through reading it, I realize that this word is not doing to destroy Dagon.
    >The Last Word will destroy Ao - the Overgod.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)04:07 No.16681848
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    >I finish The Word, and the planes ripple as Ao is ripped out of existence.
    >Almost immediately, Kord and Olidammara burt through one of the walls of Dagon's sanctum, and procede to kick him around as only the epic tag team of the God of Facepunching and the God of Backstabbing can.
    >As we watch the battle, the pieces fall into place.
    >Dagon was the stillborn son of Ao - Ao couldn't bring himself to rein him in out of guilt, and actively protected him. In order to eliminate Dagon, Ao had to be removed.
    >the Kord/Olidammara duo eliminate Dagon in short order, and turn to the pair of Clerics.
    >Kord speaks: "Your parts were played perfectly, and it was only thanks to you that we could do this. Unfortunately, the knowledge of how to destroy a god is not something we can leave in mortal hands."
    >the Temple Raider tries to turn and run, gets backstabbed by Olidammara, and insta-gibbed.
    >Knowing my death is coming, I look my god in the eye, and challenge him to an arm-wrestling match for my life.
    >God of Competition and Strength that he is, he can't refuse. He shrunk himself to my size, and we squared up on a block of stone.
    >Kord chooses to humor me for a moment, and actually rolls for the first round - it is a 1. Seeing my chance, I blow the only Str. trick I have left, my domain power, and roll. It's a dismal 5. I use my other domain power, my luck re-roll, and smile as the re-roll comes up 20 - not enough to beat him, but enough to match him.
    > For one glorious moment, for a few precious seconds - my character matched his god - the God of Strength, in an arm-wrestling match.
    >Then his power expired, and Kord stopped playing around. Kord actually used his divine strength and I rolled a 2 for the second round of fighting.
    >Kord mashed his arm into the ground so hard and fast that he was atomized.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)04:10 No.16681865
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    >Kord and Olidammara then exited the Sanctum and became overgods together, before any of the other gods figured out what had just happened.
    >After taking power, they took our souls, wiped them clean, and reincarnated them - the Raider as a Goblin, and myself as a Half Elf.
    >Our new L1 characters are growing up in a world where the overgods only have their position because of us, and we unknowingly have their favor.

    Pic related, it's my face when I realized that we replaced Ao with Gork and Mork.
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 10/20/11(Thu)04:22 No.16681922
    Kunninly brutal and brutally kunnin. But you two got turned into a grot and an eldar?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)04:24 No.16681931
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    That's. Fucking. AWESOME.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)04:30 No.16681961
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    Pretty much. We rolled randomly on the reincarnation table and that's what we got. We figured Olidammara must have been having a laugh at the raider's expense, and Kord just figured, human, half human, it's close enough, right?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)04:32 No.16681971
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    >Fourth Level Rogue
    >Checking out Ancient Temple
    >Big room with inscriptions on the walls
    >Standing in the doorway
    >"Should we check it out"
    >"Maybe we should leave it"
    >".....da da da..... da da da....."
    >Dire OH MY FUCKING demon blinks in
    >One hit
    >150 damage
    >Party shuts the door
    >"Lets leave that room"
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)04:49 No.16682065
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    >Playing a Bodyguard in Ironclaw
    >Grizzled old military veteran, heavy drinker
    >Keeps a bottle of sake he found by chance, plans to open it "On a special occasion"
    >Charged with keeping track of a dilettante and runaway upstart noble
    >Finds the kid annoying as all hell at first but develops an almost familial bond as time goes on
    >Suddenly, party's in deep shit
    >Classic scene, someone has to hold of a ton of guards
    >Bodyguard volunteers, brief "But you can't!" "Just go, dammit!" moment
    >They do what they have to, kill the corrupt noble and get the macguffin
    >Come back, find all the enemy guards dead, bodyguard slumped against a wall, barely breathing
    >Has dilettante help him pull the sake out of his bag, one last drink, might as well be the best
    >Opens it, takes a swig, gags and coughs
    >Alternates between giving this broken, wheezy laugh and repeating "It tastes like crap," until he bleeds out
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)05:50 No.16682480
    3.5 D&D.

    Lvl 15. I'm a swashbuckler/fighter/dervish.

    One of the final BBEG's, a Balor, challenges me to one of one combat. I accept, thinking that I'm too much of a badass to lose(the character was like that)

    Between lots of HP, fucking awesome rolls on my part(keen'd scimitars muahaha), shit rolls on Dm's side, and stupid number of attacks that dervish gets, I almost have him dead.

    I have about 15%, and decide to use A Thousand Cuts, doubling my number of attacks. Then the Balor rolls a natural 20... Vorpal motherfucker.

    Barbarian in my group rages, throws his spear, and deals min damage... Balor dies. Turns out that had I just rolled 1 higher on damage I'd have killed it.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)06:07 No.16682546
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    That last bit is what makes this truly awesome.
    >> Inquisitor Kadsirin !!0zRgmmI/1kJ 10/20/11(Thu)06:16 No.16682584

    From the post in question:

    >Then the power packs on the Astartes armor gets breached. Goes off. Blows up.

    In this case, the power packs DID detonate. Miniature nuclear holocausts everywhere.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)07:03 No.16682794

    I just can't see any way they'd allow a powerpack which would be taken into battle a chance to reach critical mass
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)08:14 No.16683157
    Game: Exalted
    Campaign: Return of the Scarlet Empress

    Our Solar champions have fought their way across the east, from Halta to Rathess, claiming the First Age Titan buried in Mt. Metagalapa and uncovering the Warstrider Vengeful Thunder. My character, the Dawn champion named Tiger of the Breaking Dawn bears witness with his friends to the death of the unconquered Sun. While the others rage in their own way, he fails to acknowledge what he has seen. The sun WILL rise again, he tells them.

    Together, they take their army across the inland sea to confront the Scarlet Empress and the Ebon Dragon. After an epic mass combat against the Scarlet Empress and her legion, Tiger's Sidereal nemesis/teacher takes his hand, pulls him out of the cockpit of his massvie war machine, and uses the power of the maidens to take Tiger's soul and use it to reignite the Sun.
    Knowing how much he hated this particular sidereal, and the fact that he had finally met and fallen in love with his soulmate just the night before this epic battle, and seeing how his single minded force of will was enough to resurrect the dead sun made it the most epic death of a PC I've ever been involved in.

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