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  • File : 1319070937.jpg-(97 KB, 500x408, 3276250442_bf961ef9e4.jpg)
    97 KB Zerg Quest LVIII Cerebrate Anon 10/19/11(Wed)20:35 No.16677642  

    Delving into the Worldship fragment's horrible corrupted, tattered, and (perplexedly) lyrical computer files from the cartographer O-Sip, we have found several new technologies for scouting out and mapping star systems, an art that the Swarm had never been particularly interested in. Labbrate believes that with this knowledge, we can more easily determine which systems are likely to be inhabited in UED space, speeding up our survey missions substantially.

    There are also some partially corrupted files concerning geography and psionic energy. Cyberbrate offers to attempt to recover what data it can, if we would like.

    The first four of our new Zergleks are arriving in Lutrious, joining the one battleship, one carrier, and assorted smaller units there.

    What are we up to?
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)20:39 No.16677689

    Well first off, give Cyberbrate the go ahead to salvage what data he can. Then have Labbrate start on that cartography business, sounds useful.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/19/11(Wed)20:39 No.16677694
    (What's this red text talk about posting issues?)
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)20:40 No.16677700
    Labbrate is to work on the mapping technology. We must know the extent of the UED, and their war with Dyles.

    Cyberbrate is to recover the data.

    And now that the reinforcements have arrived at Lutrious, the defenses are to be expanded, hatcheries grown and shipyards built.
    The listening post is to be expanded to a full-functional and self-sufficient forward base of Zerg operations.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)20:41 No.16677713
    Posting was inconsistent the past few days, and we suffered posting downtime of a few hours today.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/19/11(Wed)20:45 No.16677769
    (Non mi piace. Nothing shall threaten the Quest!)


    (Roll 2d100, one for each of them)

    Accountantbrate hisses that unless we begin expanding outside the system, building orbital shipyards will use nearly all the resources left on Lutrious.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)20:47 No.16677789
    rolled 97, 1 = 98

    2d100, as requested.

    Taking Accountantbrate's advice under consideration, begin scouting out nearby systems for resources to fuel the growth of the Lutrious forward base.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/19/11(Wed)20:50 No.16677815
    >rolled 97, 1

    (Yikes. /tg/ dice giveth, and /tg/ dice taketh away)
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)20:52 No.16677842
         File1319071946.jpg-(17 KB, 287x403, 1317526766184.jpg)
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    >natural 1
    >out of 100

    We just corrupted all the files in the worldship, didn't we?
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)20:55 No.16677869
    rolled 69, 64 = 133

    lets try for something better.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/19/11(Wed)20:59 No.16677917
    (Which of these do you want to use?)
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)21:02 No.16677954
    rolled 35, 72 = 107

    Interesting question. My above roll which is slightly shitty, or a crit and a fumble.

    Offhand, I think my roll is safer, but the crit and fumble may end up more fun. I'm tempted to say crit, but my survival instinct and experience with computers say "A wiped harddrive is bad."

    I'd like to go with
    >> TUCAMP 10/19/11(Wed)21:08 No.16678015
    rolled 73, 6 = 79

    I maintain that we need more... I can't think of anything witty.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)21:08 No.16678021

    Yeah, I'd think we'd better go with this.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)21:10 No.16678035
         File1319073027.jpg-(33 KB, 500x415, Immanentize the Eschatron.jpg)
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    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/19/11(Wed)21:14 No.16678080
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/19/11(Wed)21:15 No.16678094
    (One of you seems to be having more fun...)
    >> TUCAMP 10/19/11(Wed)21:21 No.16678164
    rolled 94, 81, 86, 3, 49, 74, 13, 44, 87, 98, 4, 81, 52, 34, 76, 65, 61, 25, 31, 42 = 1100

    Rolls are, in and of themselves, fun.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)21:22 No.16678174

    I WAS going to make a joke about going with the 69, but decided not to, in case Bernie heard me.

    I don't want to give him anything to work with.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/19/11(Wed)21:24 No.16678193
    (Alright, then. Going with >>16677869 )

    Labbrate works O-Sip's methods into our ship systems, and comes up with seven systems that are probably inhabited or worthy of habitation near Lutrious. It rules out a few stars we probably would have scouted that aren't likely to have planets.

    Cyberbrate feels frustrated, making only marginal progress in restoring the files. They aren't much more legible than they were to begin with.

    >> TUCAMP 10/19/11(Wed)21:32 No.16678279
    rolled 10, 8, 8, 4, 7, 5, 1, 9, 4, 4, 1, 9, 10, 3, 3, 3, 8, 3, 5, 4, 8, 3, 4, 1, 4 = 129

    Explore/Infest/Colonize those planets. And give cyberbrate a psionic pat on the head to reassure him that it's ok.

    (Unrelated: how many dice ran you roll at once?)
    >> TUCAMP 10/19/11(Wed)21:34 No.16678291
    (25 maximum apparently)
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/19/11(Wed)21:36 No.16678324
    (I sure don't know. You are free to let Cyberbrate try again, btw)

    A cloaked overlord arrives over one of the worlds, chosen at random. There are two inhabited worlds here. The colonies both appear Terran (though, so did Lutrious when we first arrived). There is not much comm traffic, just civilian chatter, though we do notice two odd-looking satellites in geosynchronous orbits over the worlds.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)21:40 No.16678377


    Seconding sending recon teams over to the viable systems and scouting out the place.

    In addition, we should probably notify Kerrigan that Dyles is out and about and may be preparing for a massive attack on the Korpulu System. While Umoja probably has a large number of buffer systems between it and known UED space, she may still want to be prepared for a surprise attack.
    >> TUCAMP 10/19/11(Wed)21:43 No.16678425
    Why are they odd looking? And can we "feel" dyles, is there more or less psionic emanations from the planets then there should be for human populations that size?
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)21:43 No.16678430
    rolled 70, 30 = 100

    Have cyberbrate try again?

    >>foleel wrote
    And we should check what Foleel wrote, btw.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/19/11(Wed)21:45 No.16678472
    We've never been able to "feel" the entity before. If anything, it feels as if there's slightly less psionic energy here than we would expect.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/19/11(Wed)21:46 No.16678484
    (Don't delete bad rolls. That's a no-no)
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)21:48 No.16678511
    rolled 94, 56 = 150

    Sorry, it was a double post.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/19/11(Wed)21:53 No.16678592
    (So, doing anything here, or just moving on?)
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)21:53 No.16678595

    Less psionic energy than we would expect in reference to a planet with that many apparent colonists? Or less psionic energy that we would feel in a system that is completely devoid of life?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/19/11(Wed)21:56 No.16678628
    Less psionic energy than we would expect in reference to a planet with that many apparent colonists.

    (Though, now you've given me an idea for later)
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)21:56 No.16678629

    Try to tap into that civilian chatter. See what they're talking about.

    Dyles might be a huge zerg wannabe with parasites, but I doubt he can fake genuine smalltalk.

    Also, send a cloaked overlord on a scouting mission inside the planet's atmosphere.
    >> TUCAMP 10/19/11(Wed)21:57 No.16678648
    For that number of colonists. Let's pop a carrier in and scan away. If it's Dyles, burn it, if it's UED, take, if it's an unalligned power, take it.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)21:58 No.16678657
    rolled 65, 2 = 67

    Shit, that sounds bad.
    I second that.
    >> Codeki 10/19/11(Wed)21:59 No.16678666
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/19/11(Wed)22:01 No.16678686
    >1 for intense spying, 2 for an invasion
    >> TUCAMP 10/19/11(Wed)22:03 No.16678715
    Well, invasion after spying. Can't figure out if it's Dyles or not without taking a close look.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/19/11(Wed)22:06 No.16678740
    >1 for erasing Codeki's name
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)22:09 No.16678781

    One more for spying. We can destroy them after we find out who they're working for. Also, look at those satelites.
    >> Codeki 10/19/11(Wed)22:13 No.16678830
    It wouldn't have been quite so bad if that hadn't been my 4th post that it removed my name on.

    But yeah, scan then infest.

    We know the confederacy is protected against our spores. . . has the UED ever encountered them? If this is a planet they don't need suits to breath, we could set up a few spore makers while we spy on them.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/19/11(Wed)22:15 No.16678842
    Our overlord gets closer, maintaining its cloak as its antennae adjust for civilian communications. There are more than we expect, with a lot of machine chatter. It seems that the UED has sent word to this system that evacuation of planets compromised by the aliens is expressly forbidden. If an attack is fought off, nobody will be allowed off-planet until they have been thoroughly scanned to confirm to absence of parasites. There are many, many advertisements for weaponized cybernetic implants.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/19/11(Wed)22:24 No.16678957
    (Questions? Comments? Plans?)
    >> Codeki 10/19/11(Wed)22:27 No.16678997
    Weaponized implants? Interesting.

    Lets infest the hell out of this planet.
    Spores preferably. I want to see how thoroughly their scanners work.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)22:28 No.16679001
    rolled 56, 66 = 122

    Send a simple hello!
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)22:31 No.16679029

    Well, the question here is: do we want to Zergify the hell out of them, or possibly attempt to open up a channel with the UED?
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)22:32 No.16679043
    Be friendly!
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/19/11(Wed)22:32 No.16679046
    >1 - Produce and use spores
    >1 - Say hi
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)22:33 No.16679056
    Seriously, we have no idea how powerful they really are, they are fighting an enemy of ours, a SERIOUSLY dangerous one, and we just made peace with humanity in this area anyway.
    >> TUCAMP 10/19/11(Wed)22:33 No.16679058
    We want to bust out the spores we haven't used since the Icarus debacle.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)22:34 No.16679065

    Let's send them a hello message.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/19/11(Wed)22:35 No.16679070
    >2 - Produce and use spores
    >2 - Say hi
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)22:37 No.16679093
    Say hi!
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)22:37 No.16679098

    One more for saying hi.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/19/11(Wed)22:40 No.16679127
    (So, just send a message from the overlord? What message?)
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)22:46 No.16679189

    "S'goin on my homo sapien bros?"
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/19/11(Wed)22:48 No.16679204
    (So far, this is the only response. I just thought I'd make that clear)
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)22:48 No.16679216
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    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)22:49 No.16679223
    Send parasitic spores into the athmosphere and wait until they are all devoured.
    >> timetravelbrate Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)22:50 No.16679230
    *bromo sapiens.
    But this message, yeah.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)22:51 No.16679243

    I meant it as a joke, but I am seriously considering it now and want to see how they would they respond to that.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)22:52 No.16679264
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    Welp, so much for a serious message.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)22:52 No.16679265

    What, we don't have a standard greeting?

    "Greetings, we are the Zerg. We wish to open a dialog at your earliest convenience."
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)22:53 No.16679280

    Send a message that we wish to speak with their highest authority planetside. Also, what the hell are you doing all the way out here?
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)22:55 No.16679295

    Don't act like you wouldn't be suprised and at ease if some alien Hivemind contacted your species with that message. Hell it would catch me off guard just by the simplicity of it.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/19/11(Wed)22:55 No.16679297
    (We now have equal votes for "Sup, bromo sapiens?" and a serious, cordial message.)
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)22:56 No.16679305

    Just pick the one that would yield the more interesting results.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)22:56 No.16679307
    I don't think an alien hivemind would contact another race like that, especially one as brutal as the zerg.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)22:57 No.16679325
    >>16679307I don't think an alien hivemind would contact another race like that, especially one as brutal as the zerg.

    >>as brutal as the zerg

    The zerg are acting in self defense. They've only encountered TWO races

    -Protoss: who want to KILL THEM ALL
    -Terrans: who want to ENSLAVE THEM
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)22:57 No.16679333

    The Zerg also wouldn't have a non hostility pact with the Protoss or a peace / trade / tribute treaty with the Terrans. Also we were fucking CREATED by the Overmind to think outside the box and do the unexpected
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)22:58 No.16679339
    I vote for sup bros
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)22:59 No.16679351

    Bromo sapiens. Just because.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)22:59 No.16679354
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    The UED don't know that we are brutal infesting insects who will eventually turn on them in the long term when they are most vulnerable. We have yet to establish a character archetype with them.

    Just because it might catch them off-guard and that we've never done anything like that before, let's go with the "sup" message.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)23:03 No.16679396
    I'm giggling like a mad man at the prospects of what we have just done.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/19/11(Wed)23:06 No.16679424
    (I think they're technically a franchisee government...)

    (Oh, my)

    Attuning its antennae to a broadly-used frequency, our overlord broadcasts to the Terrans. Its message is simple:

    "Yo, Bromo Sapiens. What's up?"

    Almost immediately, the nearest of the odd satellites activates, scans everything with a high-intensity sensor, then launches itself out of orbit. As we watch, it spools a single-use warp engine and is gone.

    The planets both appear to be in a panic. Police are barricading areas, and the local militia forces are mobilizing.

    >1105-1107. tiesDP

    (I know a girl named Ties, and this is just disturbing)
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)23:10 No.16679458

    Somehow, I think that could not have gone any better.

    Now, do we move the Overlord out of the system or wait for a possible response? Or do we elaborate on our purpose here?
    >> TUCAMP 10/19/11(Wed)23:14 No.16679491
    I say we just wait. Then when the forces show up to check the non-infested status we do it again.
    >> Codeki 10/19/11(Wed)23:15 No.16679505
    I'd say send them another message saying that we're fighting off the Dyles Parasite and we're wondering if they're in need of help.

    Oh, and bring the Paldronlisk as an ambassador.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/19/11(Wed)23:18 No.16679536
    (Very different approaches. Be sure to remember what the UED's experience has been concerning how many alien species exist, hint hint)

    Two battlecruisers arrive in the system. There appears to be a mechanism on the top of one of them that we have not seen before. They begin methodically moving around the system.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)23:19 No.16679550
    sounds like anti-cloaks, or with UED tech, psionic-scanners.

    let's stay out of sight for now.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)23:20 No.16679557
    >"Yo, Bromo Sapiens. What's up?"
    Are we certain this was translated correctly?
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)23:24 No.16679596
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    About our ambassador form, I think we should make something akin to pic related, but have it wear cloth and armor of Zerg chitin and stuff to make it look like its wearing armor / robes which are actually apart of it, and instead of just being another zerg unit we should make it nothing but a special "shell" that will remain inactive until we ASSUME DIRECT CONTROL on it and give it the ability to speak in an actual language, instead of direct mental-speak which would most likely unnerve the Terrans more.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/19/11(Wed)23:26 No.16679623

    >>Everybody else
    (A plan. You should get one)
    >> Codeki 10/19/11(Wed)23:28 No.16679644
    Well, considering we already (very stupidly) alerted them, we should probably at least try for peace.

    I'm still of the opinion that a stealthy infest and invade before they could have sent off a message would have been better, but we can't go back in time till we find out how Voidgate was going to do it.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)23:28 No.16679648
    Look look look, lets send a mechanical probe broadcasting a message, offering a meeting at a location of their choice. If accepted, we should send a non-hostile looking zergform which we can directly communicate through. Keep it calm, and don't get pissy if their paranoia kills the form.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)23:29 No.16679664

    You just had to pick one of my favorite looking aliens didn't you?
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)23:30 No.16679668
    I'm going to have to agree with this.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)23:32 No.16679687

    Alrighty. Let's see what's happening here:

    1.) UED peeps are freaking the hell out, despite our facetious and unassuming message.

    2.) UED have sent Battlecruisers to discover whatever the hell sent that message.

    As for what we should do... we must consider the UED:

    1.) The UED are basically wide-eyed children when it comes to dealing with aliens. Aside from Dyles, the only other experience they have with non-human life likely comes from sci-fi films.

    They may assume that we are hostile and destroy us, but if we present a seemingly-honest and straightforward front, that may get us farther than going around and whispering stuff.

    Though I've been known to be a raging idiot before when it comes to tactical decisions, I think we should pull our Overlord out to a safe distance from the UED Cruisers and de-cloak. Then send a message clarifying that we want to open up a channel with the highest authority that they have within the system.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/19/11(Wed)23:34 No.16679712
    (Should we continue talking like bros?)
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)23:35 No.16679715
    I vote for broing it up.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)23:35 No.16679717

    I vote that we should switch our diction to a more stately manner.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)23:36 No.16679732

    Broing it up in a serious manner.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)23:36 No.16679733
    "Yo dudes, we've noticed you're fighting the Dyles parasite too. Want some help?
    >> Codeki 10/19/11(Wed)23:36 No.16679736
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    I'd say that's a WONDERFUL idea. . .

    All joking aside, we need to act intelligent and regal, like the protoss, but without the dickery.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)23:37 No.16679752

    We may want to wait for an actual dialogue to open before we reveal anything vital. Mentioning Dyles when they're in a state of frenzied panic might work against us.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)23:39 No.16679763
    Let's be all like,
    "Dudes, have you never met an alien race before? Bad form, bros. For shame. You'd get eaten up in heartbeat out here being all jumpy like that."
    >> timetravelbrate 10/19/11(Wed)23:40 No.16679771
    We should come on serious, but friendly. Like a good salesman or waiter. Decloak (but not right on top of them, outside their weapons range) and introduce ourselves.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)23:41 No.16679783
    Are we still the Zerg?

    >I come iateDa
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)23:42 No.16679803

    We stopped being conventional zerg the moment we spawned our first pair of Zerglings, Bernie and Ernie.
    >> timetravelbrate 10/19/11(Wed)23:43 No.16679808
    We're the cerebrate made to think outside the box. So let's try something we haven't tried before? Innovate!

    Which, on second thought, would work even better as bros.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)23:44 No.16679824

    Yes. But we're nowhere NEAR as large as the Swarm was in Starcraft canon.

    If we were, you betchurass that we'd be steamrolling and infesting the hell out of all of them.

    Presently, however, we don't have the luxury of declaring war on everyone. That would result in bad things happening to us.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/19/11(Wed)23:44 No.16679826
    The battlecruisers swing (inasmuch as a ship that size can swing without shearing in half) toward our overlord when it decloaks. We address them calmly.

    "Hey, dog. Not sure how you wanna do the first contact thing. We come in peace, bro. You wanna give us your digits? Maybe meet up sometime?"

    There isn't any response for a good 40 seconds, until...

    "This is Captain Harris of the United Earth Directorate. This is a Terran system. Identify yourself and your intentions, alien."
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/19/11(Wed)23:46 No.16679850
    (You should read the archives. We let Moria conquer the Confederacy, then steamrolled them into a corporate merger. The Protoss revived Khas, their visionary super-Jesus, and we have a shaky peace treaty with them. We're Zerg, but we're definitely divergent. Also, we killed Skynet)
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)23:47 No.16679856
    "We are the wonderful, glorious, ostentatiously narcissisticaly majestic sorta-Zerg!"
    "We come in peace, and we intend to party. Do you guys have any idea how freaking long we've been waiting for you to show up in this corner of the universe? It's been boring as fuck, and I hear you guys got the best beer and the biggest guns!"
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)23:48 No.16679865
    Well yeah, I've been here sine the beginning, but I never thought to question our zergness until now.
    >> Codeki 10/19/11(Wed)23:48 No.16679868
    Well, if most people are voting for us to act like morons, might as well go full circle.

    "CereBRO Anon here, we want your booze, and video games. We also think your tech stuff is totally awesome and were wondering if we could bum some off ya. We'll give ya some weed if you share your stuff, dudes."
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/19/11(Wed)23:50 No.16679897
    (Well, Kerrigan's Zerg begged, borrowed, stole, and negotiated in Brood War...they just ended up betraying everybody forever. So, if we eventually hit that last point, this is all perfectly in-character!)
    >> TUCAMP 10/19/11(Wed)23:52 No.16679925
    Wow dude. Intentions are like... a real downer, yo. You need to chillax, I got some stuff that might help. It's from... it's good stuff, yo.
    >lake corriesn
    I'm such an idiot, yo. That's where I got it.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)23:53 No.16679936

    >"This is Captain Harris of the United Earth Directorate. This is a Terran system. Identify yourself and your intentions, alien."

    "I am proxy. My intent is to open a formal dialogue between the UED and my race."
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)23:53 No.16679938
    "Hey dude, what's with the harsh vibes? You got issues? We got stuff for that you know."
    >> TUCAMP 10/19/11(Wed)23:53 No.16679942
    And have daleks and a tv station.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)23:55 No.16679960
    Oh my heavens, instead of these, let's offer them a subscription to ZergTV!

    >its tunnelay!

    Exactly captcha!
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)23:57 No.16679978
    I support a hybrid of this:
    and this:
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)23:58 No.16679988

    That.... may actually not be that bad of an idea.

    It would be like a brochure for the Zerg race. It would show them that we are clearly cultured enough to have our own television broadcasting station and the associated programming with it. We could show them our face that is specifically tailored to be palatable to Terran audiences.

    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)23:59 No.16679999
    I'm out.

    Can't stand the derp any longer.
    >> Anonymous 10/19/11(Wed)23:59 No.16680002
    > our face that is specifically tailored to be palatable to Terran audiences.
    For a given definition of palatable, if memoery recalls we still have plain zerg as actors.
    >> timetravelbrate 10/20/11(Thu)00:00 No.16680016
    "We have come to expand our marketing opportunities! Tell me, alien bros, would you be interested in free television?"
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:00 No.16680020
    See you next time, bro. Thing's will get more serious once this initial contact is over.
    Myself I'm busy loling over the idea of all their 'alien threat?' journalists being frustrated by recordings of "dude, want munchies?"
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:00 No.16680021

    We should combine all these.

    It would be like 'hey we're here to talk with you guys, but if you want to think about it before being committed, allow us to give you a brief programming segment that can give you a brief summary of us."
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:02 No.16680045

    We should DROP the bro-accent. They're scared and frightened and 1 bad move away from turning our Overlord into so much superheated bits of burnt organic matter.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:03 No.16680049

    Hahaha! I've been laughing uproariously for the last 5 minutes!

    Do these, please! It'll make there first impressions so fucking weird our inevitable infestation of them will go ages before proper response!
    >> TUCAMP 10/20/11(Thu)00:03 No.16680050
    But Cerebrate's Street is the only children's show in the sector that teaches kids their ABCs and xenobiology. I support expanding ZergTV's service area.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/20/11(Thu)00:04 No.16680063
    We respond: "Yo, Harr-of-the-dawg! We're the Zerg, man! We've traversed the cold blackness of space to, like, trade and peacefully coexist and stuff! Don't harsh our vibes, dude."

    The battlecruisers have reached weapons range, but do not appear to be preparing to fire. There is another long silence.

    "I'm sorry, but we have recently been attacked by an insidious alien life form. I am going to have to, uh, ask you to stay where you are while I confer with my superiors."

    A wraith launches from the lead battlecruiser, and heads into warp. It seems like Harris is passing the buck.

    (Do you want to try to negotiate tonight, or just wrap up early? Dialogue's not this quest's strong suit)
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:05 No.16680065
    Sorry, *their.

    Goddam it I hate when I fuck up the there/their/they're usage.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:06 No.16680079
    > go ages before proper response!
    That's because we'll be too busy selling it as a miracle-cure for depression, bad skin, cancer, weight-loss, and impotence!
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/20/11(Thu)00:07 No.16680094
    (This is without a doubt the silliest Zerg Quest since the Jolly Candy-Like Button episode)
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:08 No.16680096

    Hopy shit. It worked.

    We've disarmed them by going so against whatever impressions of alien species they may have had because of Dyles or from their Sci-fi media diet.

    >quest dialogue issues & ending early?

    I'm pretty much OK with anything.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:08 No.16680099

    (Don't act like you don't love it)
    >> TUCAMP 10/20/11(Thu)00:10 No.16680114
    I want then to' buy' a subscription to ZergTV. Setup enough transmitters and relays to get our programing to the UED. They'll watch, oh, they'll watch.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:10 No.16680119

    Original "S'goin on brosapiens?" anon here, I did it as a joke but SOMEHOW its turned out beneficial to us and disarmed the UED enough to allow diplomatic talks.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/20/11(Thu)00:11 No.16680123
    (Oh, I do. I'm a fan of rampant silliness. I let you guys have Daleks and fight Terminators!)
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:11 No.16680126
         File1319083883.jpg-(549 KB, 1980x1350, Crazy_Hassan_in_the_Desert.jpg)
    549 KB
    Next up, let's act like CRAZY HASSAN!
    >I SELL ZERG FOR CHEAP PRICES! ONLY SLIGHTLY USED! You need to get across border-space? I have Jumping Zerg for that! Plan to impress your heart's desire? Chrome Zerg is just the thing you need: it comes with suspension and backlights too!
    >> The Awesome Emprah 10/20/11(Thu)00:13 No.16680143
    Ummmmm.... İ approve of this thread but must tell you..... Your zergs arent zergs now....... They are now AWESOMERGS!!!!
    >> EnthusiasmBrate 10/20/11(Thu)00:13 No.16680149
    rolled 17, 90 = 107

    Dialog is good. While they are doing that we should try and engage with them more! Its always worth trying to make friends!

    "So like, what do you dudes do to chillax? You like, party at all?"
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:14 No.16680154
    Maybe we could make a Hassanbrate, for the specific purpose of being the salesman-minded individual for the Zerg?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:15 No.16680168

    "You still there, Harr-dawg?"

    >if yes, then

    >> timetravelbrate 10/20/11(Thu)00:16 No.16680171
    I think it's safe to say the UED has absolutely no protocol for how to respond to us at this point.
    Well done, gentlebugs.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/20/11(Thu)00:17 No.16680173
         File1319084220.jpg-(19 KB, 479x446, sillycolonel.jpg)
    19 KB
    We in no way actually get a transmission from the Terrans from a Colonel that says, "Stop, stop! Stop it right now. This thread is getting far too silly. We will resume next week."


    >> EnthusiasmBrate 10/20/11(Thu)00:17 No.16680176
    rolled 21, 91 = 112


    I would suppose that artisan lord would need /someone/ to breach the gap between his hoity toityness and the general consumer. A zerg for selling is good. Also, did we ever get back the ratings on our manta ray series? Im sure they were amazing.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:17 No.16680178
    >"So like, what do you dudes do to chillax? You like, party at all?"
    "Because, you know, we got our own TV channel if you want to tune in and chill out."
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/20/11(Thu)00:18 No.16680190
    Of course they were. Terrans love manta rays, and alternative histories with knights. They just don't know there's nothing alternative about it.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:21 No.16680223

    Can we have a cameo thing that shows a Terran's view of our fine TV station? I just need to see one.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/20/11(Thu)00:22 No.16680240
    You should have asked like, 5 threads ago. Raynor's POV would have been perfect for that.
    >> EnthusiasmBrate 10/20/11(Thu)00:24 No.16680251
    rolled 40, 94 = 134


    Bwahahaha! The shennanigans we get into!
    Since the thread is over for the week will you answer some stuff that will help for next week?

    1) how has accountant brate been keeping things? Have we started to accumulate a good stock of active mining colonies and resource stockpiles?

    2) Is zergtv still stuck on all re-runs?

    3) Do you think it would be economically viable to produce creep based synthetic whiskey like we did for Raynor and trade it?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:24 No.16680256

    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:25 No.16680263

    >> EnthusiasmBrate 10/20/11(Thu)00:26 No.16680271
    rolled 99, 58 = 157

    Aww cmon!

    You even stopped early! Just a little indulgence for us, your loyal questers?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:26 No.16680274
    >2) Is zergtv still stuck on all re-runs?
    Did something happen to Artisanbrate?

    >3) Do you think it would be economically viable to produce creep based synthetic whiskey like we did for Raynor and trade it?
    If we do, we need to call in a small fleet of Zerg to provide and cater for the party.
    Also, Pauldronlisk needs to get his diplomacy on.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:28 No.16680302

    What do you think of my idea located here


    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:29 No.16680320
    Dude, we made Pauldronlisk specifically for diplomacy. The special alien can be the one we sneak onto their High Council.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:30 No.16680324

    ==== COMING IN SPRING 3050 ====

    A ZergTV exclusive series, inspired by Manta Knight Chronicles:

    A Game of Drones.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/20/11(Thu)00:30 No.16680326
    1 - We're pretty well-off. Moria's giving us most of what it promised, and not getting our shit wiped off of an entire planet in a while is good for business.

    2 - You kidding? With the recent integration and the public knowledge of Kingston's death, the news programs have been doing great. Artisanlord's been asking if it can have a Kingston robot for a sitcom it's been thinking about, but we're not even sure where it'd fit into the schedule. We might need to have a spin-off network, soon.

    3 - Yes, but evolving a version that wouldn't cremate a human's internal organs would take a lot of effort. Raynor's highly infested, remember.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:31 No.16680329
    Yes. Do this soonest. Bonus points for talking in corporate/marketing doublespeak.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:32 No.16680344
    And triple Scrabble points for him managing to be as ineffably in character as the original Hassan!

    >And into this ring, he poured his cruelty, his malice, and his will to make a sale at any cost...
    >Sauron, Car Salesman of Mordor!
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:33 No.16680348

    I wish to rub my chitin covered thorax with you anon. That is an INGENIUS IDEA!
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/20/11(Thu)00:34 No.16680361
    ...You know we could just sic the Morians on them, right?

    That's what they DO.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:35 No.16680370
    Oh, point.
    I still like having a direct representative to our marketing assets like a Hassanbrate or a Hassanlord.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:36 No.16680378

    >> timetravelbrate 10/20/11(Thu)00:37 No.16680388
    If we let them interact with the Morians, they might find out about that whole conquering and devouring the Confederacy thing, which could hurt our PR. Now, adapting some new unstoppable salescreature based on infesting a Morian executive and mutating it physically to the point it's no longer recognizable as human...
    >> TUCAMP 10/20/11(Thu)00:38 No.16680400
    ZergTV and its sister stations: Nydus New Network, the Creep Creche Channel (children's programing), Swarm Sports Station, and ClawTV. And the best alcohol is the kind that will kill you with a whiff.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/20/11(Thu)00:39 No.16680405
    I can just imagine the horrible slime-beast that would come from trying to warp and pervert the idea of a business executive.

    Nargil would have his work cut out for him.
    >> EnthusiasmBrate 10/20/11(Thu)00:39 No.16680407
    rolled 16, 32 = 48


    And then a 2nd and 3rd yes.
    We need to remember to tell artisan lord, it has free reign to buy contracts on as many comms platforms and sattelites as he can put the effort into tearing the money to afford them away from accountantbrate. An artist needs to suffer for his art lest it stagnate.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:41 No.16680424

    Don't forget, "Molt Monthly" (Women's channel) "Carapace General" (Where the various professionals discuss things with personalitylords) and "Cookin' with Claws!" ( a cooking network dedicated to helping the disabled / improper manipulation tools using audience to make some of the best dishes this side of the universe!)
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/20/11(Thu)00:43 No.16680439
    The Quest portion is over, but the silliness continues unabated!
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:44 No.16680448

    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/20/11(Thu)00:46 No.16680475
         File1319086000.png-(330 KB, 500x374, I like you.png)
    330 KB
    Just a moment.

    Surely I have an image reaction that involves hugging.

    AHA! Got one!
    >> EnthusiasmBrate 10/20/11(Thu)00:48 No.16680496
    rolled 69, 77 = 146

    Should the overlords we send with the party crews have giant overly emphasised kegs strapped to both of their sides or should we stick with things that would be more reasonable asthetically. I rather like the idea of keg mule overlords.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/20/11(Thu)00:49 No.16680507
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:51 No.16680522
    Why don't we just...
    >Uhh, where's the beer coming from, guys?
    >"Don't worry dudes, we make our own! Less harm to the environment, and all that. Want some Ultralisk?"
    >My god! It's made of ZERG!
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:51 No.16680527
    You know those hats with the cans strapped to the sides? Do that. But with kegs.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:51 No.16680532
    cancel this i like Keggerlords better.
    Sometimes you really break my brain, Cerebrate.

    >uldoubl solutions
    >> Anonymous 10/20/11(Thu)00:53 No.16680548

    You glorious bastard.

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