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    69 KB random encounter Indonesian Gentleman 10/11/11(Tue)06:00 No.16588974  
    IRL random encounter thread?
    >Going home from highschool
    >what's that in the distance, on the road?
    >a dude, riding a bike, arms crossed, eyes wide open as if concentrating
    >went straight past me without uncrossing arms
    >noticed that he wasn't paddling the bike either
    >he went straight down the street
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:07 No.16589013
    Looks like you're in a nWoD game mate

    >walking to LGS on side of the road at night
    >usually about a 5 mile walk, nothing too hard
    >avoiding road kill, broken glass and trash like a boss
    >suddenly guy in a long coat walking next to me
    >he doesn't say a word
    >walking right next to me for a few minutes
    >I think I'm hallucinating
    >he stops me
    >hands me a card with a Raven and the word "Rook" on it
    >sprints off into the woods
    I still have no idea what the hell happened
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:07 No.16589014
    >live in Beijing in apartment building
    >across the street is a business building with lots of glass windows and lights all night
    >occasionally watch people working
    >one night can't sleep
    >3AM go outside to the balcony and look at the building
    >see dudes in suits being chased by girl in trenchcoat with guns blazing
    >they run out of sight

    Never did find out if they were filming a TV show or what.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:09 No.16589027
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    nWoD? I don't know what that is. And I don't know what they saw, either, I did see something move but not a fucking DEMON. They swear too it, one of them is scared to talk about it cause it freaks him the fuck out, apparently they didn't get no glimpses out of the corner of their eyes, they saw it head on in the lights and watched it take off like a rocket. I'm glad I didn't see it or I'd lose my sanity, I'm scared of it and I didn't even see the fucking thing.

    Fucking road demons, god damn.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:10 No.16589033
    It was probably a dear with a dead octopus strapped to its head.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:11 No.16589037
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    >walking around in the woods at night with three bros
    >standing around our campsite when someone with a flashlight slowly approaches from the distance
    >we walk up to the light and it's three drunk, almost-naked, sweaty, stuttering hicks
    >eventually they leave after saying how they've been wandering for miles while drunk
    >they leave and we go back to our shenanigans
    >the hicks return in a truck with a spotlight and search for us while we hide
    >decide to go back when they pull up at the entrance of the woods and sit there waiting
    >we walk by and nothing happens

    Who switched up my woodland creature cards?
    ..actually that might fall under woodland creature.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:11 No.16589040
    Pff, that's exactly what I said, but they were like "noooo"
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:17 No.16589059
    >walking home from school
    >See large dog without anyone near it
    >Assume stray, and keep walking
    >Get closer and realize it is not a dog. Coyote maybe?
    >Realize it is to big to be a coyote.
    Wouldn't have been a problem except I live in the middle of a city, and wolves aren't exactly common around here.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:18 No.16589066
    Could have been someone's dog-wolf hybrid.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:20 No.16589072
    >Go out clubbing with my brother
    >Walk home
    >A drunk guy steps out from behind a building
    >"There's a possum eating chips around the corner"
    >We follow him
    >Sure enough, there is a possum from the park nearby eating from a box of potato gems at the foot of a tree
    >The guy tells us not to hurt the possum because it's his friend
    >My brother and I leave
    >As we leave we can hear this guy talking to the possum as if they were having a conversation
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:21 No.16589082
    oh my god. For some reason this just lights up my night. A possum just eating chips.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:21 No.16589083
    Wouldnt have been a problem.
    I dont have nearly enough hitpoint for that shit...
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:21 No.16589085
    I later met the owner. It wasn't a hybrid, just a wolf. He was cool, and it's quite friendly. I was just weirded out by it.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:22 No.16589090
    >see animal
    >make eye contact
    >ima druid
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:23 No.16589096
    >>see dudes in suits being chased by girl in trenchcoat with guns blazing

    Young Hunter was pissed off.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:23 No.16589102
    >Dragging my overworked ass to home
    >2 AM, middle of fucking nowhere passing through school grounds for a shortcut.
    >Hear loud sound, as if something is coming down with massive force.
    >Loud explosion, very asphalt cracks as I land on my ass.
    >Ears ringing notice what the fuck was that.
    >A meteor size of a golfball smoldering on the ground, amazingly still intact.
    >Grab everything not looking like asphalt pieces and walk home.

    What are the odds of being hit by a small piece of space debris? I donated the stone to various geologists, surprised and cynical to my case and said that the rock was from the moon, how in the love of christ it got pulled down into earth's orbit is anyone's guess.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:25 No.16589108
    who knows what the fuck REALLY came down with that rock. hope you didn't keep any of it.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:26 No.16589113
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:28 No.16589126
    It was just around the corner from the clubs, so there were plenty of people walking past and it had this guy standing less than a metre away from it, but it didn't give a fuck. I just sat there and ate the chips.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:28 No.16589127
    Oh man that's fucking legit
    >Walking my dog on the path that winds back through the suburbs I live in
    >Walk around the corner
    >Bear out of fucking nowhere
    >Silent prayer to the god emperor for protection
    >Bear just sort of looks at me
    >Realize that the bear is on a fucking leash
    >There's a man holding the leash
    >He looks like Alan Moore
    >Fucking hippie with a fucking pet bear
    >We shoot the shit for a while
    >Apparently he adopted the bear when it was a cub and he just held onto it
    >We still hang out
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:28 No.16589132
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:28 No.16589135
    I've also had an experience with a possum. My friends and I were drunk, and it was quite hot inside the house so we wanted to open the door, but we were convinced that if we did the possum that was outside would come in.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:29 No.16589140
    I swear to god that bear fucking loves him man, I can't even explain that shit
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:30 No.16589144
    >holiday with my friends
    >we decide to spend it in a cabin in the middle of nowhere
    >its snowing outside
    >during the night I wake up, everyone else is asleep
    >suddenly some weird ass noise outside, possibly a bear or wolf growling
    >something thumbs on the door 2 times
    >was puzzled for a while, figured out its nothing and went back to sleep
    >wake up tomorrow, everyone's freaking out
    >doors are scratched from the INSIDE

    We figured it was just a coincidence and we failed to noticed that doors were scratched earlier.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:33 No.16589164
    Id contribute but i cant greentext.
    (I dont have a numpad either)
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:34 No.16589168
    >Several years ago
    >17 of age and by a campfire out in the woods around 3 am
    >drinking with my old pals and some girls we met in the city
    >suddenly someone moves towards us through the bush
    >think it's either some other drunk teenagers or a junkie
    >it's an old man with a great white beard and a helmet
    >he's towing an old rusty bike, doesn't explain what he's doing out there
    >sits down and starts talking smalltalk with the girls like he's been the all along
    That's when I realise I know the guy. He's one of my elementary school teachers, retired several years before. He looks very old, and judging from the things he's saying it seems his mind is long gone. The girls look pretty nervous, so I ask him what he's doing in the woods several miles from home in the middle of the night. He looks confused to hear me say his name, but he doesn't recognise my face. Nevertheless he excuses himself and leaves. The rest of the evening is uncomfortable and the girls are weirded out.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:36 No.16589178
    >>we decide to spend it in a cabin in the middle of nowhere

    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:36 No.16589179
    >attacked by monster
    >no one is hurt
    You met a BOOGEYMAN alright, but a real docile one. I bet he ate all your fucking food before running back to his cave in the woods where he collects human bones.

    Bones that come from people the REAL monsters kill cause he's too babby.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:38 No.16589191
    >Australia, years ago visting relatives overseas
    >Strolling through the thick bushes
    >suddenly hear "FUCKBADGERS!"
    >Look around for source of the noise
    >Funny looking bird hurling insults

    I still don't know what the fuck is wrong with australia and it's birds.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:38 No.16589196
    You may have just been recruited by a secret society. You'll probably get your orders sooner or later.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:39 No.16589199
    Sounds like a crazy familiar.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:39 No.16589203
    Oh, well thats fortunate. I just ended up giving the card to my friend who goes by Rook.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:40 No.16589205

    and so he did.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:40 No.16589206
    That's... disturbing. Were any windows opened or something? If not, I'd be watchful about your friends... or yourself.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:40 No.16589209
    Soon the training will begin, and you can take your first Psionic level
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:41 No.16589212
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    hey anon is this you?

    cuz yer a fuckin werewolf.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:42 No.16589217
    >/tg/ - /x/

    It's like I don't even need the other boards any more
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:42 No.16589220

    Wasn't a Raven, it was a Rook. It's closely related to the raven, however.

    Doesn't make any more sense, but hey.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:42 No.16589223
    These stories are way more entertaining than /x/'s bullshit
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:42 No.16589224
    >Eating various snacks with friends.
    >Feel something crawling in my snackbowl
    >Disregard, I like my snacks fresh.
    >This is rather squishy for a potato chip.
    >Take it to mouth, bite, like the taste, pull the remains out.
    >Realize that I was eating a black widow.

    Ohgodwhat. Why something so deadly could be so delicious.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:43 No.16589228
    Speaking of Australia
    >Go to Australia
    >Driving out to brother's wife's grandmother's farm.
    >On the highway (seriously, fuck Australian roads)
    >Going at least 100km/h
    >Look out my left window
    >Old guy on pedal bike, waving at me, staring in my eyes.
    >He's just casually pedaling
    >This goes on for three minutes
    >He takes the next off ramp
    >Never see him again
    How is that even possible
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:43 No.16589229
    black widows are fucking microscopic small man. You were eating something bigger, like a Recluse or something.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:44 No.16589233
    /x/ used to be good, back in 08 or so. Tons of writefags and drawfags just doing their best to weave stories and universes we could lose our selves in. Legends and myths that if we believed were true in the slightest made the mundane world scary and mysterious.

    Now it's all just "HUUUR HOW DO I SUMMON DEMON" and "GHOSTS BLOWJOB"
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:44 No.16589237
    It was probably a fucking lyrebird. They can literally copy any sound they hear.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:44 No.16589240
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    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:45 No.16589249
    >BBQ at the beach during the night
    >suddenly rain
    >we went into an old house, almost no roof, no real doors, no windows, no lights
    >found a good shelter spot, decided to continue our BBQ in there
    >everyone feels like they're being watched
    >everyone saw something in the corner of their eye
    >everyone swears they saw something trying to peek at us from behind the doors, roof etc
    Nothing really happened but that was it. I myself saw a black figure watching us, peeking behind the wall.

    Writing this giving me the chills man.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:45 No.16589250
    About a month ago my friends and I picked up a megaphone and we've been using it primarily to shout 'NEEEEEEEEEERD' at pedestrians from our car. The running joke is that at some point we'll accidentally piss off superman or some shit and I'll look in the mirror and see some jogger or cyclist screaming up at as with intent to fucking kill. I'm more afraid to be a dick to random people than ever.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:46 No.16589252
    Australia was founded by THE FLASH. his descendants are scattered around the place.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:46 No.16589257
    It was prolly just a black guy, not even shitting you
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:47 No.16589261
    >Got a summer job working in Yellowstone.
    >Arrive at Gardiner, Montana and check into hotel.
    >Go to phone booth to call girlfriend.
    >See a black bear fleeing down the street, being chased by guy with video camera.
    >Guy with camera trees the bear.
    >Cops come and tell the guy with the camera to leave the poor bear alone.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:47 No.16589265
    This sadly may be true.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:49 No.16589269
    Or hell, several black guys- you're lucky you escaped
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:49 No.16589271
    We're Asian from Asia, there's no black guy here. Even more scary there were moments we saw these figures from different places at the same time.

    We didn't freak out though, we tried to play it cool.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:50 No.16589276
    >hunting pigs with friend, shoot one in the face
    >come down to drag it away, pig suddenly wakes up and tries to run with me holding its legs
    >friend comes down to slit it's throat
    >pig runs down hill
    >chase pig down hill and finally kill it with a bayonet through the heart

    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:50 No.16589279
    Black guy on vacation? Escaped gorilla from the zoo? Either way, grats on not dying bro
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:51 No.16589283
    >dat feel when you work as a cop and see strange shit on weekly basis

    Especially when you get sudden instructions from your chief to archive ongoing cases for no reason whatsoever. I suspect shadow play.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:51 No.16589284
    Fucking pig clerics healed him back from negative hit points while you weren't looking
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:52 No.16589288
    Where do you live bro? I could see some shit going down in a city
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:52 No.16589289

    I actually live in Hawaii, and there's tons of stories of hunters coming across pigs that are supposed to be the manifestation of a god here.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:52 No.16589291
    lol I wish it was really just a group of black guy who can sneak around without making noises.

    But yeah good thing nothing bad happened.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:53 No.16589299
    There are parts of Hawaii that are still wild enough to have 'hunters'? I need to go to fucking Hawaii.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:53 No.16589301

    Fuck, I want to do that now.

    Random Cryptic Questgiver would be awesome to do on Halloween as a counter-troll to Trick or Treaters
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:54 No.16589303
    Halloween is too obvious, people would be able to laugh it off. Do it on New Year's Eve or Thanksgiving.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:55 No.16589305
    >Doing archaeological survey in the middle of nowhere.
    >See a tape measure sitting on a a stone wall.
    >Pick it up and see it has a name scratched on it.
    >I know the guy.
    >Fellow archaeologist who I haven't seen for a couple of years.
    >A year later, I bump into the guy and give him his tape measure back.
    >He had been doing survey in the same area about six months before I showed up.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:55 No.16589309
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    >watching homeless man at 1 am in the morning with friends, standing at a hang out across the street from said homeless guy
    >he pulls a chain out from his sleeping bag, and starts beating the shit out of a stop sign
    >"Shit dude it was that guy over there!"
    >homeless man freaks out, starts whipping the shit out of the sign in hyper drive, as if whipping it just ONE MORE TIME will save him
    >cop drives over a curb, leaps from the car, and arrest the FUCK out of him, screaming, yell, dragging him to the ground
    turns out he was an extremely wanted drug lord who fucked with his own shit too god damn much
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:55 No.16589310

    You mean Kamapua'a?

    Hog-man, that out of spite of Pele turns her obsidian and lavarock filled land into fertile soil in the myths.

    That and Pele called him a "son of a pig" which hurt his feelings.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:56 No.16589316
    This isn't really a random encounter, but this is what my friends and I do most Halloweens:
    >Five people (including myself)
    >All close enough body shape that this can work at night
    >Put on generic hockey mask/chainsaw slasher outfits
    >Stand with chainsaw ready staggered about a mile apart each on the side of the highway
    We made the paper last year
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:57 No.16589320
    Here's the thing bro, if you're scared. They didn't hurt you in anyway. They actively chose to just sit and watch. Must not have it in for you too hard if they didn't kill you then and there.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:57 No.16589324
    >walking home at 3 am, piss drunk
    >decide to take a shortcut through a forest
    >immediately regret my decision, because I can't see a thing
    >suddenly floodlight in my face
    >some hairy dudes in black jump onto the path
    >oh fuck, I'm going to get mugged and killed now
    >almost piss my pants in terror
    >"Hey man, what are you doing here?"
    >turns out they were just a bunch of metalheads out camping
    >they take me back to their camp where they were roasting an entire goddamn pig over the fire
    >spend the next three hours drinking mead and eating pig with them

    Still the most terrifying thing that ever happened to me
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)06:57 No.16589326

    Yep. If not Kamapua'a, then someone's aumakua.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:00 No.16589334
    You were piss drunk. You think that was a pig they roasted?
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:00 No.16589335
    >Family resort, near a warm cozy beach
    >Have a swim
    >Surrounded by dolphins
    >Whrr Click Click
    >Grab a ride in one
    >Social buggers, swimming and throwing about water

    Odd creatures.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:02 No.16589342
    In that case I'm glad I wasn't the first guy they encountered.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:04 No.16589346
    >Driving down dirt roads in Colorado.
    >Late night, tired as all hell.
    >Park the pickup off the road and lie down in the cab to get some sleep.
    >Wake up the next morning.
    >Llamas everywhere.
    >Surrounding my truck.
    >Looking through the windshields at me.
    >Fucking llamas.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:08 No.16589359
    >Me and some friends camping in the woods, we were about 16, 17?
    >sitting round campfire, making smores, chatting shit
    >We see this dark shape off in the distance, humanoid, tall and thin, large head
    >We stare at it for what feels like five minutes
    >We all look away for whatever reason, when we look back it isn't there
    >The campfire starts to die and a chill breeze blows
    >We start to argue and panic over what it was
    >Slenderman, Candlejack, Boogeyman etc are all thrown around
    >We start to get really pissed at each other
    >A fist fight breaks out and my mom got scared and said you're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:09 No.16589362

    This is my worst nightmare.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:11 No.16589371
    it's Will Wright's fetish
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:12 No.16589377
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    God dammit.

    Although, your story was kinda shitty anyway.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:12 No.16589379
    You were damn lucky they didn't rape you to death.

    Yes, dolphins do that.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:14 No.16589388
    >Driving to grandmas late one night on long, dark Australian highway.

    The stupid fucking thing must have been wandering around and jumped right up in front of me, I could see its stupid fucking face looking at me with those derp eyes right the split second before it exploded on my 110km/h bonnet. Scared the shit out of me. When I stopped in the next town I found its guts hanging and cooking off the bottom of the car, served it right.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:14 No.16589393
    >Years ago
    >Walking through town on a Friday night
    >Walk past doorway
    >Happen to look left
    >Completely naked lady
    >Taking a piss in the doorway

    Classy place Derby
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:15 No.16589398

    Large amounts of them were female, I'd guess.

    Most of them were really curious to inspect every bit I have, that and swim about looking how clusmy swimmers humans are.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:22 No.16589428
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    >Out camping with my friends for our end of school shit.
    >Fairly secluded camping area near a beach.
    >Wake up at 4 in the morning to go take a piss.
    >Start pissing down a small hill overlooking some low dunes, sun is just starting to rise.
    >About 50 meters away is an old man standing naked, ankle deep in the water with his arms raised before the red morning sun.
    >Watch him for a while, after about 5 minutes he lowers his arms and walks north over the dunes and then northwest into the scrub, away from any of the designated campsites in the area. We were right on the border of the preserve.
    >After he leaves I take off my clothes, cross the dunes and wade ankle deep into the water and raise my arms.
    >Friend walks up behind me, pushes me into the water and asks me where the weed is.
    I at least partly understand why the old man was doing that, but where the fuck did he go?
    The only thing to the north was a bunch of hills, more dunes and beach, the boundary fence and eventually the highway.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:22 No.16589430
    >Random naked poodle coming down the street, no owner in sight
    >Poodle has serious DERP face and lolling tongue
    >Barking sounds like incohorent demon speech and baby laughter.
    >Dog keeps following and keeping up the retarded barking.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:25 No.16589450
    >curious to inspect every bit I have
    Why didn't you go with the dolphin blowjob? Seriously man.
    >> SUPER AGGRO CRAG !!7x7KzlxQrrH 10/11/11(Tue)07:26 No.16589455
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    Got another one

    >lying in bed watching tv late at night
    >hot as fuck out, window open
    >suddenly a cat jumps in and lands on my chest
    >curls up on my chest
    >i stare at this fucking cat for about 5 minutes
    >cat eventually gets up, wanders around
    >give cat some leftover chicken, it eats it, continues rubbing itself all over my furniture
    >cat rubs against my leg then jumps out the window it came in and runs off into the night
    >never see that fucking cat again

    seriously what the fuck cat
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:27 No.16589461
    >Eating breakfast, custom muesli and peanutbutter sammich on my backyard enjoying the morning sun, also sweetcorn
    >Fierce battle for my breakfast, I manage to eat most of my sammich until a hungry squirrel manages to grab the leftover corners.
    >They also ate every single nut in my delicious muesli.

    God damn squirrels.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:29 No.16589475
    >Be in boyscouts, first night at annual summer camp.
    >Dad's Scoutmaster, makes peach cobbler in the dutch oven.
    >eat peach cobbler, sitting around fire, playing Boot Hill by firelight.
    >Yes, my Dad had his Boyscout Troop play roleplaying games around the campfire.
    >Notice a pair of raccoons hanging around near the tents.
    >Group watches as Raccoons unzip someone's backpack, pull out a ziplock bag of pistachios, open it and have a few. No ripping or tearing involved.
    >They HIGH-5 and then book it with the pilfered bag of nuts.
    >Troop goes nuts after what we saw. Game wraps up, we hit the sleeping bags.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:29 No.16589479

    Or a mynah bird that escaped its cage. My uncle had one he brought back from the navy and he taught it to say fuck-knuckle every time it saw a vicar or a priest.

    My aunt was so proud of him, you can imagine.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:34 No.16589509
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    >Live in California
    >hanging out at Venice Beach
    >Giant dude in a ketchup costume with the arm sleeves ripped off runs across the beach yelling about the low cost of mortgage refinancing
    >no one ever saw him again
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:34 No.16589510
    >working on homework in my dorm at college
    >look up
    >raccoon staring at me from outside the window
    >look down to work on more homework
    >look up to see if raccoon was still there
    >it's not
    >turn around to open my mini-fridge for a soda
    >it's on top of my fucking mini-fridge

    In other news there were apparently very large holes in the ceiling of the dorm I was living in and the university had been putting off repairing them.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:35 No.16589514
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:36 No.16589518

    Not with those teeth man, they were eating tiny crabs off that were scurrying off into the shallows.

    That and I am not fluent in dolphinese.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:38 No.16589532
         File1318333115.jpg-(53 KB, 510x546, giftedwut.jpg)
    53 KB
    >> 2011
    >> needing other boards
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:38 No.16589534
    >Cat died due to eating processed chicken
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:40 No.16589542
         File1318333235.jpg-(668 KB, 2048x1536, dive_2 079.jpg)
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    >Be SCUBA diving mid-atlantic, maybe 10 Km from shore
    >Not deep, but there's a shelf, where the depth drops to 3000m
    >Been joking about Cthulu on the boat on the way out, now looking over the edge is a bit vertiginous
    >Suddenly, long thin shape comes lancing out of the black, powering stright towards me
    >Last moment, Mr. Shark swerves away from me, heads for the surface and circles back round.
    >Fucking dolphin, alone.
    >I swear to fucking christ that trolling bastard was laughing at me as I tried to control my breathing while hoping there isn't a brown cloud hanging out of the back of my wetsuit.
    >Divemaster later tells me it's the first time he's seen a dolphin in this part of the sea.

    Fucking dolphins man, trolls of the ocean. Grinning slimy cunts.

    pic unrelated, but I thought she had a nice arse, and she laughed her head off about the dolphn thing.
    >> SUPER AGGRO CRAG !!7x7KzlxQrrH 10/11/11(Tue)07:44 No.16589562
    it wasn't processed it was leftover roast

    unless cats can't eat roast chicken
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:46 No.16589565
    Practical joke.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:48 No.16589576
    Cats can eat almost anything and will try to. They're basically tiny, slightly more social goats.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:51 No.16589587
         File1318333898.jpg-(33 KB, 267x400, dolphin_trolling_cunt.jpg)
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    Follow up:

    >Six months later, SCUBA again, this time coral reefs, Indian Ocean, 18m - lovely warm. No cthulu
    >Really are sharks this time - Black tip reef sharks, no biggie, but everyone's keeping their eyes out.
    >Charges straight at me, ignores everyone else
    >Swerves away at the last moment
    >Circles back round, swims right up to me and looks me in the eyes
    >Swear to christ this motherfucker is laughing at me
    >Troll dolphin fucks off.
    >Back on the boat, Divemaster tells me he's never seen a dolphin do that before (he though it was a shark attack as well), and thats not the normal type of dolphin for this water.
    >Am I being stalked by a dolphin troll?
    >Divemaster: I've heard of stranger things.

    Fuck dolphins man. Fuck them in the blowhole.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:52 No.16589592
    Might be important. Rooks are thought to sense the approach of death and, in some folklore, are responsible for bringing the virtuous dead to heaven.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:52 No.16589593

    Hadn't even thought of posting dive related ones...
    Fairly tame but meh.
    >> years ago, be like 16 or so
    >> going out on dive into coves around west coast (Irelandfag <---)
    >> Nothing going on, nothing going on...
    >> turn around to leave cove
    >> hundreds of jellyfish
    >> no seriously, hundreds
    >> just sit there wondering what I do now
    >> dive master starts whacking them around with flailing arms
    >> escape through hole in jellyfish wall
    >> get stung on face
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:53 No.16589595
    Your divemaster is a druid and the dolphin his animal companion. When you're gone, the two of them have a laugh about it over a plate of salted mackerel.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:54 No.16589605
    Is it weird that I suddenly want to learn SCUBA so that I can earn the title Divemaster?
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:56 No.16589612
    Not at all, we all aspire to become one of the fabled....

    DIVEMASTERS *guitar solo*
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:57 No.16589616
    Well great, I met death and I was dealt my card.
    Time to go post this on /x/
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)07:59 No.16589625
         File1318334384.jpg-(2.26 MB, 2048x1536, dive_2 142.jpg)
    2.26 MB

    Not at all weird.

    I swear to god when I get divemaster certificate I will answer to NO OTHER NAME. I'm going to legally change my name so that my credit cards say simply "Divemaster" I might change m surname to Deal-With-It as well.

    Divemaster Deal-with-it.

    Pic not entirely surprise wandering monster, but I saw this rock, swam over, and SUDDENLY 20 MORAY EELS poke out of different holes. Laughing through regulator as I wished I had a mallet to pose for Underwater Whack-a-Moray picture.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:01 No.16589635

    Could be worse, you would've been in australia surrounded by lethally poisonous jellyfish, like irukandji.

    Speaking of which.

    >Vacation, in australia mid-summer.
    >Getting a tan, setting down stuff and my friend is smoking.
    >Stealthy crab steals my cellphone, pulls it back to its sandpit.
    >Wonder where the phone is, friend calls the said phone
    >Find the phone in the sand lair of the said crab, notice that friend's pack of smokes are missing and so is the lit one.
    >Crab is smoking like a boss.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:04 No.16589650
    I love you /tg/
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:04 No.16589652
         File1318334659.gif-(640 KB, 250x170, crab_fag_deal.gif)
    640 KB

    Problem, fag?
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:04 No.16589653
    >When anon
    >dives for real
    >and tries to
    >whack an eel
    >that's.. a moray.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:05 No.16589656
         File1318334739.jpg-(206 KB, 500x375, 2892359862_ae60c82db8.jpg)
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    >waking up
    >pull jeans on
    >go to piss
    >sitting down (fuck you I just woke)
    >Huge motherfucking bug comes shambling out of the jeans I wore
    >Struggle to lure onto cardboard piece with intense feeling of disgust
    >Flush down toilet
    My brother had a lizard at the time, and zophobas larvae is a common feeding insect. One apparently got away and grew into a full size beetle in my room. Didn't help that my one single phobia even before this is bugs beneath clothes.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:05 No.16589657
    That pic reminded me of another story i can share!

    >> Recently now this one, haven't dived in about a year due to being busy as fuck in college
    >> Decide i shall attempt my first night dive as my first dive back
    >> all going well
    >> lose my partner
    >> oshit.jpeg
    >> swimming around in pitch black offshore wondering if lovecraft knew he was right on the money describing underwater stuff at night
    >> find partner
    >> follow other diver's lights to see whats up
    >> they're flailing and pointing
    >> look under little overhang and see...
    >> the single biggest lobster in existence
    >> he looks pissed and is snapping at us for interrupting his... lobstering
    >> his claws are bigger than my head, he's bigger than I am (and I'm 6' 6'')
    >> decide against close up picture with camera
    >> get lost again, surface.
    >> have never been so glad to see stars in my life
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:06 No.16589661
         File1318334770.jpg-(12 KB, 300x400, costanza_ve.jpg)
    12 KB

    You magnificent bastard. Actually lol'ed.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:09 No.16589679
         File1318334983.jpg-(72 KB, 310x451, 1318290977774.jpg)
    72 KB
    >school trip in shanghai china
    >Green man flashing, crossing the road
    >Suddenly motorbike out of fucking nowhere
    >missed me by inches, actually felt the biker's jacket brush my left arm.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:11 No.16589686

    Somebody please shoop a pic of a Hipster Krabby immediately

    >gmd buthosi

    Anyone ever heard of thid system? Captcha ran a game of it once, apparently
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:11 No.16589691

    >Diving at night
    >See something interesting
    >Get distracted
    >Look around

    I know that feel bro - lost underwater is bad enough, then when you realise you're not sure if you're swimming up or down, then you start to really freak.

    inb4 depth gauge - I'm talking about the gut feel. Lovecraft was right - all the scariest things live in the dark underwater.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:14 No.16589710
         File1318335295.jpg-(178 KB, 400x913, 1277535962554.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:15 No.16589715
    I fucking hate jellyfish. I live in NZ and do compeditive sailing, and there's is nothing worse than schools(?) of fucking jellyfish. It's like you can't even see the water sometimes, just pink fucking jelly.
    My retarded brothers once collected jellyfish from the beach and piled then all together in a line. I shot you not, the made a slide down the beach out of hundreds of jellyfish.

    Fuck jellyfish, I'd rather face a shark anyday.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:15 No.16589716
         File1318335343.png-(66 KB, 250x193, what le fuck is going on.png)
    66 KB
    dolphin wants to rape you.
    they seriously love raping humans...beware...
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:16 No.16589718

    That lobster was fucking ancient, and pissed.

    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:16 No.16589719
    >Having a cig outside my house, roughly 1:30ish AM
    >Hear coyotes, not usual but there must have been like 6 or 7 of them
    >Dogs barking
    >Three gunshots come from the farm across the road
    >Suddenly coyote howls everywhere
    >Go inside
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:16 No.16589720
         File1318335412.jpg-(498 KB, 785x3593, 1270316320244.jpg)
    498 KB
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:18 No.16589725
    WHAT? You didn't take the lobster? WHY NOT?!?
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:19 No.16589733
    What the absolute shit am I looking at
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:20 No.16589738
         File1318335639.jpg-(90 KB, 610x536, all kinds of awesome.jpg)
    90 KB
    my guess is that when a lobster is big enough to crack your skull open....
    you dont fuck with 'im
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:20 No.16589739
    IMO, ocean is scarier than space. Scale of space doesn't scare me, that is a bit creepy however
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:20 No.16589740
    "But why didn't you just take the tarrasque?"
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:21 No.16589744
         File1318335682.png-(51 KB, 505x440, I1P0K.png)
    51 KB
    Not mine, but relevant.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:22 No.16589746
         File1318335720.gif-(374 KB, 250x140, 682q3qbvz2.gif)
    374 KB
    A relative of this I believe:

    >(I have not fucking idea)
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:22 No.16589750
    Space is more or less a well lit void with rocks in it. The deep is pitch black crush pit where eyeless fang monsters thrive. So, yes, I agree. The ocean is more terrifying than space.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:23 No.16589756
         File1318335802.png-(149 KB, 1000x500, Nope.png)
    149 KB
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:24 No.16589760
    >Last week am driving to friend's house in 1989 LeBaron Convertible with the top down.
    >Another 89 LeBaron Convertible with the top down coming towards me to make a turn and slows down just long enough for both of us to look across.
    >I nod and he waves.
    >We continue on to our separate destinations.
    Nothing big but pretty amusing at least for me.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:26 No.16589767
         File1318335963.png-(260 KB, 492x296, tsar bomba.png)
    260 KB
    Fuck the deep ocean, fuck it with a thermo-nuclear ICBM.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:26 No.16589768
         File1318335985.jpg-(16 KB, 269x309, I have seen some shit.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:27 No.16589773
    You really want to Irradiate the shit down there?

    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:31 No.16589795
         File1318336281.jpg-(71 KB, 545x606, godzilla.jpg)
    71 KB
    Nigga, that's how shit like this happens.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:33 No.16589810

    It's usually forbidden to take crustaceans while diving - and responsible divers wouldn't even think about it.

    Additonally, according to the post - the thing was more than 2 metres long, which would give it claws the size of a man's head. Good luck with your underwater grapple rolls on that one.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:33 No.16589813
         File1318336395.jpg-(145 KB, 1200x1600, Bobbit Worm 01.jpg)
    145 KB
    See those pincers? They slam them together so hard, they cut little fishies in two in a split second.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:33 No.16589814
         File1318336417.jpg-(13 KB, 200x225, neato, ol' chap.jpg)
    13 KB
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:33 No.16589821

    Cthulu's Auntie Jane,
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:34 No.16589823
    >out larping with around 30 guys
    >everyone wears pretty authentic medival clothes and equippement
    >walk through a forest
    >bump into some random guy in a car

    I... I think I was the random encounter...
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:35 No.16589833
    >drunk, walking home at around 2 am
    >walking down the street, about half a mile away from home
    >suddenly notice money on the sidewalk
    >pick up two 5€ notes, and a couple of 1€ coins
    >see one more coin a few feet away
    >dont look up and walk over
    >bang my head into someone elses head
    >look up, its some dude
    >we both look down, its a 2€ coin
    >he hands me a 1€ coin, picks up the 2€ coin and walks away, no words exchanged

    Also WTF captcha...
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:36 No.16589840
    >eastern europe
    >no black people
    >at bus stop smoking a cigarette
    >an unusual car in the distance
    >what the
    >a 60's convertible Impala driven by two grinning black gentlemen rolls by
    >rub eyes
    >fuck it's early
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:36 No.16589841
         File1318336567.jpg-(4 KB, 300x57, captcha WTF.jpg)
    4 KB
    Goddamn, forgot my image.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:36 No.16589845
    The Hellworm! I remember reading a story about something like a Seaworld that got a larvae of one of those things by mistake. It grew over time to adult size and slaughtered everything in the tank as well as damaging the coral and PLEXIGLASS of the tank itself.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:36 No.16589849
         File1318336619.jpg-(343 KB, 1164x3700, cthulu.jpg)
    343 KB

    I like my version better.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:38 No.16589865
    I know that feel.

    It's probably one of the best feel ever.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:41 No.16589890
    There's a similar story about an octopus here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q36_8s5z6S8
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:45 No.16589916
    That narrator sucks so badly...
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:47 No.16589932
    >this guy narrarates my actions when i have sex as well
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:48 No.16589933
         File1318337285.png-(90 KB, 318x235, mah_nigga.png)
    90 KB
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:48 No.16589935
         File1318337302.png-(863 KB, 1160x4706, 1302374839690.png)
    863 KB
    Almost there bro. This one goes a bit deeper.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:50 No.16589949
    >local Vidya Bunker/cafe
    >having break outside during overnight gaming
    >naked guy strutting down the street with trench-coat over his shoulder
    >everyone cracks up laughing
    >he notices us and starts yelling at us
    >while yelling he thrusts his pelvis at us
    >almost die from laughter
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:50 No.16589952

    I am very happy that this thing is safely housed a couple of miles underwater. Can you imagine seeing it running behind the TV?

    Jesus, I'm giving myself the screaming ab-dabs just thinking about it.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)08:59 No.16590028
    I'd love to actually know what it's called, I only had the picture and file name. And I wonder why crazy underwater creatures freaks us the fuck out this much.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:01 No.16590043
    >5 years ago I used to get everywhere by bike
    >pedal home late at night and have to travel over fields and meadows in pitch black darkness
    >only light is my shitty headlight
    >race down a slope around a corner
    >loud demonic screams as the THING jumps into a closeby bush
    >pedal like a motherfucker and race at top speed back home
    >this happens 3 times over the course of a month

    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:03 No.16590060
    Is it just me or is dat a horrorterror in the background?
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:03 No.16590062
         File1318338208.jpg-(58 KB, 400x300, Goliath-Tiger-fish2.jpg)
    58 KB
    Not everything lives miles under the sea, though...
    >> Darkstar !!I7IxiYSOtLO 10/11/11(Tue)09:05 No.16590074
    >Security guard at military airfield
    >We work 12 hour shifts, I always work at night, have to do building and perimeter sweeps throughout the night to make sure everything is alright.
    >Certain Hallway always gives me the creeps
    >Enter hallway hear faint footstep noise, but with a weird gravel crunching sound inside the tiled floored hallway
    >Partner is sweeping other end of hangar
    >Turn on flashlight, pull side arm move towards noise
    >Flashlight dies, hair on neck stands up, air feels warm and moist
    >Sound gets louder as I approach, then it stops, flashlight cuts back on, go to where sound was
    >Nothing...sigh of relief
    >For some reason turn around
    >Glass window before me, hazy figure standing there
    >Approximately 5'3" brown skin, visibly muscular with veins under skin, slanted eyes with reptilian pupils, rows of sharp angular teeth, clawed hands and feet.
    >Approaches window,I draw down on it, think "I'm going to die"
    >It smiles? Caresses window with hand, takes a step back, turns around takes a step then disappears.
    >Never tell anyone, 2011, still work this job, haven't seen it again.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:26 No.16590095
    Now don't get me wrong, but I would've filled that shit with bullets.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:26 No.16590103
         File1318339572.jpg-(60 KB, 391x332, megamouth.jpg)
    60 KB

    >And I wonder why crazy underwater creatures freaks us the fuck out this much.

    Racial memory - we all come from the sea, and we know what's down there. The sheer NOPEness of pelagic and abyssal life is basically what motivated us to get the fuck out of the ocean and really crack down on that lung project we'd always been promising ourselves we'd finish.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:26 No.16590113
    Might have been a bush baby.
    I had a nasty encounter with one of those fucking abominations once on holiday
    >Chilling out on balcony admiring the moon
    >Lovely breeze, a cup of tea, the perfect evening
    >Brown-grey fuzzy thing lands on the balcony out of nowhere
    >Startled, no idea what the hell it is, thinking bird perhaps.
    >It begins to spaz out, spinning and tossing to right it's self
    >Stares at me for a second with huge luminous eyes and lets out the most fucked up screeching noise
    >Scarpers off the balcony

    It took me ages to discover just what the hell it was.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:26 No.16590120
    >Leaving shop
    >Old lady behind me
    >Hold door for old lady
    >She looks up
    >Hands me fiver
    >Never see her again
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:27 No.16590151
         File1318339641.jpg-(71 KB, 580x390, lyre bird.jpg)
    71 KB
    Did it look like this?
    Sounds like you ran into a lyre bird that had heard someone swearing. They're expert mimickers and can basically make any sound they hear, I've heard a few pretending to be chainsaws.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:27 No.16590160
         File1318339677.jpg-(89 KB, 379x250, Jessiah.jpg)
    89 KB
    Oh damn, I had a black '89 (mostly-- encounter with a guard rail; white hood/fender) convertible too! I always felt like it had the potential to be the Batmobile's sidekick. Good times.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:33 No.16590186
         File1318339992.jpg-(32 KB, 383x260, cobra3.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:33 No.16590189
    we found one while camping
    eventually got it to yell "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD" and "SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE"
    Shit was so cash
    apparently it scared the hell out of some mountain bikers later that day
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:34 No.16590197
    >Working at a coffee shop
    >Closing up
    >Already locked the doors, cleaned the bathrooms etc.
    >Step into the back for a second to put some dishes in the wash
    >Step back out, man is standing there.
    >"Pardon, just needed to use the restroom."
    >Too freaked out, I tell him to go
    >Check the doors
    >Still locked
    >He comes out, leaves just as someone would expect.
    >Ask him as he's leaving how he got in
    >Smiles, says nothing, slips me a $20 bill.
    >Walks out into the darkness and eventually lose sight of him.

    It gets weirder. The Camera didn't catch HOW he got in. He seemingly just walked out of a blind spot.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:37 No.16590212
    I've got one.

    >Late at night, mid summer so it's fucking hot
    >Back door normally left open for breeze
    >It's about 3am and I hear scratching kind of sounds coming from the next room.
    >Figure it's the cat being a turd in the kitchen.
    >Continue gaming for another 20 minutes or so.
    >Noise gets louder, I figure I should see if the cat is wanting food.
    >Turn around in chair...
    >Freak out and tell the dog to fuck off... Loudly.

    Fucking Satan and his devious canine companions.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:37 No.16590215
         File1318340236.jpg-(92 KB, 400x580, BeaverWarriorSYE-NA-C-1E[1].jpg)
    92 KB
    There's a really awesome creepypasta about one.

    >Be a teenager walkin in the woods
    >have a wooden practice SORD cause I'm a huge nerd
    >Exploring farther into the woods a ways away from my house (maybe a mile away and a mile in)
    >tromping along not giving a fuck
    >stop when I see something moving in the trees ahead of me
    >the thing stops when I stop
    >move closer, thing moves closer
    >the thing is about the size of a over-sized beachball, brown.
    >inch closer, thing inches closer.
    >about 10 feet away from eachother at this point.
    >stop for about 5 mins and just stare
    >turn and walk a different direction
    >spot a bunch of felled trees around in the area
    >think its a beaver
    >there's no large bodies of water around for fucking miles
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:37 No.16590218
    Why does the idea of birds making chainsaw noises just to scare hikers make me laugh so hard.
    I'm just sitting here imagining birds chasing hikers at night making chainsaw noises and now I have to piss. brb
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:37 No.16590219
    >On the road, driving to a fair that's fucking two hours away
    >there's a little town up ahead
    >it's covered in fog
    >it's around 10 am, but there's no one on the streets, sidewalks or in any of the stores.
    >drive out of the town and the fog is gone.

    Did I just survive a trip through Silent Hill?
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:38 No.16590224
         File1318340317.jpg-(768 KB, 2592x1952, laser_kitty.jpg)
    768 KB

    Animals and their glowing eyes are a sign that god likes a troll as much as the next deity.

    pic related - it's my cat, and she's about as paranormal as ice cream.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:39 No.16590228

    You must be a very pure soul to have not been surrounded by monsters.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:39 No.16590231
    Jesus fucking christ, I read about someone trying to remove a bobbit worm from his aquarium. He gave it several large doses of poison, fed it ground glass, and motherfucking superglue. Then he got it to swallow a hook and managed to rip most of it's body off. AND THE FUCKER LIVED.

    Finally he broke half the rocks in the aquarium and cornered it, apparently it'd been 4 feet long from the start. He managed to catch it and brought it (alive) to some place where it's now exhibited.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:40 No.16590236

    The dog just wanted to be your friend bro. Don't be hating just because doggy eyes glow.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:42 No.16590244
    >By a pizza delivery guy.
    >Fairly quiet night, quite a few drops, but not too hectic.
    >Go out to the shitty drug-dealer infested part of town.
    >Knock on door, guy answers, greet him and give him pizzas, take his money etc.
    >Focusing on counting change, the guy's dog comes out to sniff me so I glance over at it and WHOA PENIS
    >Didn't even realise that he was just wearing a shirt.
    >Dude is just chillin', casually leaning against the door, like 'Sup? This ain't nothin', just mah balls.'
    >Give him his change and get the fuck out of there.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:43 No.16590251

    I'm not that guy, and as a britfag, I've never had a gun in my hand my whole life, but even I can see that shooting at things like that isn't such a good idea.

    >Partner comes running, weapon drawn
    >Bulletholes everewhere, mysterious trollbeast has fucked right off.
    >Err, Anon, what are you shooting at?
    >Anon, put the weapon down please, and come with me
    >We're very sorry, Anon, but we can find no evidence of a trollbeast and I'm afraid we're going to have to dismiss you from your position. And take your firearm. And there's some men from the psychiaric hospital who'd like a word.

    Nah man, I think I'd keep schtum about the whole thing.

    Worst case scenario - you shoot at the thing, and it laughs and then it chews your face off.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:44 No.16590261
    >greentext: activate
    >be 21
    >just married
    >walking to visit wife at work at convenience store
    >carrying XBox hueg soda mug/cup from gas station promo
    >drop cup while walking across street
    Dude is holding the mug with one hand, from above.
    >"Looks like you almost spilled your drink, sir."
    >take mug from strange man
    >did not see him walk up near me
    >thank him for the excellent catch
    >he smiles, waves
    >he takes off in a dead sprint, running due west
    >hear someone behind me speaking
    "We just missed him."
    >six cops, looking out of breath and exhausted from running

    Hey, he caught my soda before it fell. I owed him.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:44 No.16590262

    Plus it did smile at him. You never know, one day it might save his life to repay the favour.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:45 No.16590268
    sounds like a fox to me.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:48 No.16590285
         File1318340901.jpg-(8 KB, 259x194, mainecoon.jpg)
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    >paranormal as icecream
    Just because you have a friendly soft warm and cuddly death machine does not make it any less of a death machine, my friend.

    I'm a New Englander. The birth place of the Maine Coon is in my state. Cats are considered apex predators across the world and especially around human civilizations for a reason. They adapt to climates and food sources and will most certainly evolve best to destroy things.

    Pic related. This is what you get when you mix a Norwegian Forest Cat with the god forsaken soil and winter of the northern North America. A god damned super predator.
    We used to visit my younger brother when he worked at an old gay man's seafood restaraunt called the Look Out Inn. There lived a gay chef named Butch. And he had a cat. a Maine Coon named Elwood. Elwood delighted in eviscerating actual factual raccoons by the boatload, and would stalk the dumpster. I can't tell you how many carcasses the cat has created over the years. An animal that answers to man does not usually have this kind of repetitive success and murder power.

    But he loves people. Like all Maine Coons. Loves water, too. Like all Maine Coons.
    May not be divine or supernatural, but they're more than extraordinary.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:51 No.16590300
    An animal (and especially a cat, which even as a domestic animal is far more wild then a dog) killing things within what it sees as it's territory is hardly paranormal.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:52 No.16590311
         File1318341169.jpg-(59 KB, 604x453, lebaron.jpg)
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    You're mah nigga now too. I fucking love this car. The inside makes me feel like I'm in my own personal star fighter or something because of how much it feels like a cockpit. That digital HUD, perfect elbow rests to hold the wheel, personal space just enough to drive and have a navigator. Getting her up to 88 even makes me think one of these days I'll see some serious shit.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:53 No.16590319
         File1318341218.png-(175 KB, 500x281, confound it!.png)
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    >confound it! that dastardly thief got away again!
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:54 No.16590323
    >sit in train
    >a bunch of girls on the other end of the car talk and some old hag sits next to them
    >a few stations in, a girl shrieks
    >girls get up and walk past me
    >as they are next to me I can overhear one of the girls saying "... thought she only farted but she actually soiled her..." or something like that
    >next stop I get out of the train, see the old hag waddling around in the station
    >she screams "SHITMONEY SHITMONEY!"
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:56 No.16590336

    >Death machine

    Not this one, muchacho, she's scared of pigeons.

    I love those Maine Coons, until one starts sitting on you and kneading your lap, near your balls, with those fucking claws out. Not paranormal, but fucking scary.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)09:56 No.16590337

    I lol'd and then felt bad. Then lol'd again.
    >> Darkstar !!I7IxiYSOtLO 10/11/11(Tue)09:59 No.16590347
    The thought raced through my mind, but all the glass is attack resistant so I decided to stand ready.
    Pretty much this, also I felt as long as I had a tangible barrier between myself and it I'd be alright.
    I don't want to see it again. Some nights out here I get real paranoid, besides a few other odd things, I haven't seen anything similar. Also the smile felt predatory like it enjoyed my fear or was entertained by my intent.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:00 No.16590353
         File1318341624.jpg-(987 KB, 2048x1536, IMG_0417.jpg)
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    >bobbit worm
    >fuck you, deap-sea nasty bastard, I'm not scared of you
    >be checking wiki and shit
    >Bobbit worm lives at 10 metres
    >Don't fancy going diving again any time soon
    >Fuck you bobbit worm
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:00 No.16590356
    Nah, I guess it was a fox... and the little rascal most probably was more shocked to see me than I was shocked when it barked at me.
    I mean, I was really fast with a dim light and nearly ran over it when I sped around the corner...

    The strange thing is this happened a good three times... always on the same spot...
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:02 No.16590366
    >canoe in the backwoods of Maine
    >giant fucking snapping turtle surfaces and goes "O HAI."
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:06 No.16590395
    >coming home from a three week holiday
    >go through the house, opening all the shutters and windows
    >open bedroom drapes
    >HUGE FUCKING Beehive RIGHT THERE ON THE WINDOWSILL (outside, thank god)
    >creepy guy is standing hunched over it and stares me square in the face
    >he bows down and picks the fucking nest up with his bare hands, all while staring at me and not saying a single word
    >takes the nest and carefully walks out of my garden, down the street and around the next corner without breaking eye contact

    My neighbors later told me that they saw the nest and contacted the honey farmer from a ways out to come and pick it up. Apparently that was him and he decided to fuck with me a bit when he saw the shocked look on my face. He brought down a glass of honey from the same hive a week later and we had a good laugh.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:07 No.16590400
    They chew through rocks and make slimy web-covered tunnel systems to live in. How the fuck can things like this even exist :(
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:09 No.16590409
    Because nature hates everyone. Case in point, Australia. Like, everything there.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:07 No.16590415
         File1318342075.jpg-(41 KB, 468x332, bobbit_worm.jpg)
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    >Bobbit worms can cause permanent numbness with their sting,

    Srsly, God, WTF are you doing down there?
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:09 No.16590420
    Because you don't pray enough.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:10 No.16590423
    Foxes have the creepiest shrieking ever, I swear to god.

    I once was on my way to a bro and somehow ended up in the middle of a group of foxes that were hiding in a several bushes near a school ground. I somehow must have surprised them cause they started shrieking (possibly to wanr each other of my presence) and boy was that fucked up.

    On an unrelated note:
    A few years back when we still lived in a house with a garden, we had a bunch of foxes live under our shed. 2 adult foxes and at least 5 puppies (or whatever they are called) that were only a few months old... they used to play in our garden during dawn and dusk before going out to hunt food.
    Little cute rascals...
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:12 No.16590435
    That's incorrect though, it's "fire worms" that cause numbness.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:12 No.16590440
    Hares have really fucking terrible screams too.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:12 No.16590441
    First I was reminded of that Junji Ito manga with the beehives... but then I had a good chuckle at the old dude fucking with your brain.

    I hope you enjoyed the honey.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:13 No.16590444

    Do I want to know why they're called fireworms?
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:15 No.16590458
    A hint: its not an ironic, clever nickname.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:15 No.16590459
    If you hadn't done that, drag me to hell. Always remember to be nice to the elderly.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:16 No.16590467
    >Workers at the Cornwall-based attraction had been left scratching their heads as to why the coral had been left devastated and - in some cases - cut in half.

    >cut in half

    Fuck you, nature.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:17 No.16590470
         File1318342622.jpg-(92 KB, 500x591, silent hill.jpg)
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    That reminds me...
    >Be at school
    >have to walk home
    >fuck this shit, I don't wanna go a huge way around the meadow
    >just walk straight down
    >walk halfway through it
    >suddenly a giant hare jumps right out of the grass in front of me, less than a meter away
    >it runs to a distance of 50m and looks back at me
    >I'm startled and haven't moved since the rabbit came out of nowhere
    >rabbit goes apeshit and runs circles and then disappears somewhere in the far corner of the meadow
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:17 No.16590476
         File1318342642.jpg-(1.23 MB, 2048x1536, fire_worm.jpg)
    1.23 MB

    Fire worms don't cause permanent numbness though - it hurts like a motherfucker for a few hours.

    Pic related - it's a really crappy fire worm picture because I didn't want to get too close to the bastard.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:17 No.16590478
    They are covered in neurotoxin spines. At least they're slow.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:20 No.16590492
         File1318342837.jpg-(20 KB, 200x308, portal_glados.jpg)
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    Neurotoxin you say? Interesting.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:21 No.16590495
    >live in the north of sweden
    >be 11
    >out camping/fishing with family
    >It's getting late but still light thanks to midnight sun
    >sitting around fire roasting todays catch
    >see something reddish-brown in the corner of my eye
    >turn around
    >it's a young fox
    >it's just sitting there staring at me
    >hold out the sandwich i'm eating
    >tell the fox it's ok. i won't hurt it.
    >the fox actually comes over to me
    >it grabs the sandwich, sits down and start eating it.
    >it wanders off a couple of hours later after having gotten two more sandwiches and some fish
    >i go back to the same place next year.
    >the fox turns up again
    >same procedure as last year.

    Too bad i had two years when i could go there. the next time i went there the fox wasn't there.

    I miss that fox...
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:24 No.16590519
    >diving off of the coast of the US Virgin Islands (St. Thomas)
    >see football-sized brown object hurtle past
    >surface long enough to hear a guy swimming back to shore say, "... something something sea turtle something something."
    >shrug and return to scoping out a deflated inner tube inhabited by teensy-tiny little fish which are adorable and brightly colored
    >shadow passes overhead
    >feel massive turbulence from water displacement
    >motherfucking shark
    >body attempts to eject ink cloud defense
    >frantically hide behind sea water
    >look back up
    >dead shark is being towed by guy on a Jet ski
    >guy hit it by accident and then shot it on purpose
    >guy was carrying a shotgun
    >scared of him
    >exit water carefully, find ink-free attire, return to beach
    >guy is arrested for something by local cops
    >shark and jet ski left abandoned
    Free jetski for the day!

    Random encounter with loot drop.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:25 No.16590524
    Middle Sweden here. I was up north a few years ago on a fishing trip. First thing we see is a young bear crossing the road 50 meters from the car.

    I also had a squirrel sit on my foot later on.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:25 No.16590525
    Animal Empathy like a BAUS

    you better be a ranger or druid
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:25 No.16590526
         File1318343143.jpg-(49 KB, 450x332, Futurama dog.jpg)
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    He waited for you, anon.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:26 No.16590529
    Not especially paranormal, but fox related. Greentext GO

    >Be working in a casino
    >walking home at 7 am every day
    >regularly see foxes
    >Seem to get used to me and pad along behind me most of the time, especially through the subway (underpass for americans, I think)
    >One day, hear foxy claws ticking behind me
    >See female fox with McDonalds bag gently held in mouth, top of the bag neatly folded
    >lol slightly as I realise she's taking a happy meal home for the kids on the way home from work

    Oh, and squirrely - I used to see hundreds of those eating kebab meat out of the bin. When you've seen twenty squirrels boil out of a dustbin with their little faces covered in meat juice and chili sauce, then sit in a group and stare at you, daring you to start some shit, then you stoip thinking those little bastards a cute.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:31 No.16590567
    >Walking through shit neighborhood because I missed the last bus.
    >Person, guessing female/crackhead, climbed off their stoop and walked onto the sidewalk in front of me.
    >Oh shit, no eye contact, just walk passed.
    >As I reach the closest point. Hear zipper going down, crinkle of balled up news paper.
    >keep walking.
    >Next intersection, look back.
    >Pants down, no visible paper, back to me.
    >Watch black guy on bike swerve hard and almost wipe out from staring.

    Maybe peeing? or propositioning?

    >Vow never to miss bus again.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:31 No.16590568
         File1318343483.png-(183 KB, 500x281, fascinating.....png)
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    >walk past man dressed as pirate and girl dressed as parrot
    >then meet a drunk who thought I was too posh to be real
    nothing much
    >saw a sheep run trough the streets all alone
    S'been a quiet few days in Aberystwyth...
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:32 No.16590577
    >Sitting in car with dad, driving slowly through suburb
    >Pigeon and magpie eating something by the side of the road
    >Just as we come close, the magpie lunches towards pigeon
    >Would have been ran over if dad hadn't slowed down
    Magpies are fucking murderers. I'm 100% sure it was intentional.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:32 No.16590583
    >Northen Finland late winter
    >Jogging like a boss in thick forest couple hundred meters from my cabin in 25* C
    >Blood drenched growling timber wolf look at me from what looks like remains of a deer, thing is fuckhueg
    >Draw my trench knife, assume stance
    >Wolf lunges for my throat, my weighted coat catches the fuckers eager teeth as I slam the knife into the fuckers right eyesocket killing the wolf.

    Fucking god damn things ruining my perfectly fine afternoon.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:35 No.16590605
    Squirrel related

    >lived in London for two years
    >went jogging every morning through Hyde park
    >squirrels, squirrels everywhere
    >one day decide to bring some nuts along
    >get squirrels to come close to me and take them out of my hand
    >three of the buggers sitting around me, munching nuts
    >more come
    >"don't worry, my furry friends, I have enough for all of you"
    >two minutes later there are, like, 15 squirrels sitting around me, fighting over nuts or trying to climb onto me
    >notice a few Asians observing me and taking pictures
    >suddenly stand up and point at them
    >covertly scatter a few bits of nuts in their general direction
    >shout "GET THEM, MY MINIONS" as the Squirrels dash for the nuts, towards the Asians
    >they scream and run away
    >see them half an hour later when finishing my jog
    >they look like they're seeing a ghost

    I may have become a random encounter there...
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:38 No.16590620
    Oh, you wacky Finns. If you had told me you were assaulted by a wolf in a New York subway station, I would be forced to believe you. Something about you just pisses wolves off.

    >central Oregon, mid-winter
    >walking home from bus stop after work
    >two feet of snow on the ground
    >almost out of cigarettes
    >see man walking toward me
    >man is dressed in a fur cape, safari jacket, pith helmet, leather pants and bell-toed shoes
    "Do you have the time?"
    >give correct time
    "Much obliged, good sir. You look as if you could use a cigar-ette. Is this the case?"
    >nod slowly
    >free pack of Marlboro Red 100's
    >man departs my life, but not my sense of wonder
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:38 No.16590622

    My friend and I always shout whenever we have similiar Squirrel invasion

    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:40 No.16590635
    Weren't you in that other thread, jogging over a frozen lake?
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 10/11/11(Tue)10:42 No.16590646
    Dude, I remember this! You had to back-track to the wolf carcass because of a cop found you, didn't it?
    Why didn't you skin the wolf and wear its pelt, man?
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:42 No.16590649
         File1318344151.jpg-(7 KB, 180x180, rookCards.jpg)
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    Sweet. I love Rook.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:44 No.16590663

    Precisely, and the thought didn't cross my mind at the time, as it was the cold and the blood started to freeze already.


    Yes, the one with the breaking ice.

    I couldn't believe that people remembered this.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:46 No.16590676
    >Be on a week long kayak trip in Baja California
    >All supplies were carried in the kayaks, so we made camps far from any roads or other forms of civilization
    >Have trouble going to sleep one night
    >everyone else is asleep, get up to take a shit
    >wander far from our camp in search of a good place with shells to wipe and such
    >squat, begin shit, look up
    >eyes suddenly locked with the glinting eyes of a big coyote standing at most 3 meters away
    >pull up pants and stand up awkwardly
    >yell at coyote, it doesn't flench
    >charge it, it retreats a few meters and stops
    >sprint at it until it runs up a hill, constantly looking over its shoulder at me
    >resume shit, holding flashlight in mouth
    >keep shining light on the hill it ran up and eventually see two glinting eyes return
    >every time I move the light away to find a shell to wipe my ass with the eyes move closer
    >eventually finish shit
    >go back to bed

    most stressful shit ever, fuck coyotes
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:47 No.16590677
         File1318344431.jpg-(40 KB, 646x551, HAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUWWWWWWNNNKK H(...).jpg)
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    >Go to park to feed the gooses (Geese?) for the first time
    >Arrive at the small lake
    >Start throwing out pieces of bread towards them
    >More of them keep coming
    >Out of bread
    >They're still moving towards me
    >Raise both my palms, showing them I have nothing now
    >They start honking, which attracts even more of them to start coming near me
    >Gooses are angry, are trying to tear me apart with their harmless flat beaks
    >Walk away
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:47 No.16590680
    Yeeeah, weren't you terrified?
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:48 No.16590685
    >Taking one of the last trains home after long day at uni
    >Guy comes up and asks me for change, say I'm out
    >He walks to the other end of the carriage.
    >Starts yelling at the door
    >Continues to argue with the door and everything as he gets off the train
    >Realize he has a bluetooth headset in his ear as he walks off the train

    Goddamn PCs.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:48 No.16590690

    Fuck yes I was, I was scared shitless but adrealine does amazing things when pressured.

    Wouldn't you be ready to fight for your life in such situation?
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:48 No.16590692
    He probably just wanted to eat your poop.
    Not even kidding. Fucking Coyotes.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:50 No.16590699

    >a shell to wipe my ass

    Are you demolition man?
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:50 No.16590700
    >Live in lancaster, UK
    >Go to university here
    >many awesome roleplayers
    >on campus is a sort of pond
    >inhabited by the dread Devil Goose

    I was forewarned, but Devil Goose causes trouble this time of year for many a fresher. It bites.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:52 No.16590714

    >harmless flat beaks

    Don't kid yourself man, geese can fuck your shit up. They use them to guard farms and shit here in UK.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:52 No.16590715
    In the same vein as that...
    >walking down the street
    >enjoying a quiet afternoon off
    >pass by man speaking conversationally
    >nobody nearby
    >oh, bluetooth
    >hear funny splash noise after he walks past
    >turn around
    >see guy shitting into the planter in front of the local Burger King
    >he's talking to Jesus and Moses about the importance of sharing music files
    >no bluetooth
    >just crazy, lots of crazy
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:53 No.16590716

    sea shell haha, we were by the beach
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:53 No.16590717
    I wouldn't know, I live in Canada, Finland's pussy cousin.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)10:54 No.16590726
    >Be 6 in the morning driving home from mates house to get ready for work at 7
    >see two babbys running down street chasing a dog, I think the dog was a staffy
    >one is dressed in people clothes and the other in a diaper
    >no sign of anyone else
    >WTF? keep driving
    The most random thing I have ever seen
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:03 No.16590779
    >Work on millitary base as a Civvie
    >Walking into work one morning
    >See a reflection off something in the bushes
    >Realise there's a guy with a rifle looking right at me
    >Bolt to the main building and get inside
    >frightened as fuck for the rest of the day
    >Later that night when going home...
    >Walk outside building
    >See about 10 guys get up out of the bushese because "The roos are moving in"
    >Millitary trolling me hard

    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:08 No.16590816
    >bored at age 15
    >mass-message on the ICQs. "I'm bored. Nothing exciting ever happens around here."
    >hear noise of large heavy vehicle screaming down the sleepy rural main road, minutes later.
    >Pepsi truck jackknifes and takes out my mailbox.
    >never be bored again.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:08 No.16590818

    I'm thinking that if you work on a military base and get so NOPEd out by men with rifles, then you may want to look for a different job, because when the supernatural beings come for you, like Mr. >>16590074 up there, then you are quite frankly going to literally shit yourself.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:11 No.16590834
    Because you can't mess with other soldiers, because they're your bros and will mess with you back. You can't mess with officers because you'll get in trouble. That only leaves civvies to mess with.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:12 No.16590841

    Yeah, aquarium in Britain.


    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:12 No.16590844

    Exactly, and if Anon is so freaked out by rough soldiers and their sense of 'humour' then it's going to be a fucking long contract being the lolcow to a bunch of bored squaddies.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:14 No.16590853
    I have a familiar random encounter!

    >Live in Australia
    >Walking around the house in the middle of the day, on the phone to my mother
    >Go to lean on a window sill
    >Feel something fuzzy
    >Look down at where I put my hand
    >I am resting my hand on a Huntsman
    >Oh, will you look at that!
    >The moment I lift my hand, it turns around and climbs up my arm and sits on my shoulder
    >Excuse me one moment, mum.
    >Walk into the backyard
    >Put my arm out onto the grass
    >It crawls down and away into the yard
    >See ya, spiderbro. Sorry mum, what were-

    I always have strange encounters with spiders.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:14 No.16590860
         File1318346091.jpg-(66 KB, 500x793, I did not ask for this.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:16 No.16590870
         File1318346173.jpg-(12 KB, 210x352, tvteamrocket_display.jpg)
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    >Normal November evening
    >Leaving student flats to go into city
    >Reach front gate of complex
    >Randomly pass two people dressed as Jessie and James coming into apartment complex
    >Regret not wearing Team Rocket Grunt t-shirt

    It was like 5 in the afternoon too. No idea why Team Rocket were fucking around here.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:19 No.16590889
    Oh yeah, and the James was talking in the right flamboyantly camp voice and everything
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:19 No.16590890

    Reminds me of something that happened to my Crazy Uncle.

    >On his property, just HANGIN' OUT
    >notices something odd in the bushes, for just a second
    >casually watches from corner of his eye
    >Camp Greyling is only two miles away

    My uncle collects old military vehicles, and stuff like that.

    >TROLLIN TIEM. Casually finish beer, go to garage out back.
    >Fire up Duce-and-a-half with the registered quad-50 he brings to air shows and stuff.
    >Loads with several hundred bucks worth of blanks.
    >roll riiight up to the strand of woods with the military boys
    >JUMP out, into back, drop back gate, spins the gun around and opens up on the woods
    >two military boys "shit so hard they fly straight out of the trees" to quote him

    Turns out they were indeed snipers-in-training practicing evasion and observation.

    >Well we're on duty....
    >.... fuck it, yeah!

    Northern Michigan is a fucking weird place.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:20 No.16590897
         File1318346400.jpg-(31 KB, 500x200, ABC_Cornwall.jpg)
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    What was slightly funny about that video was that I saw a placename flash past. I never knew there was a place in England called Sexhow. I bet there's an "S" permanently grafftied onto the sign at the border. Just like there's always an F on the River Uck sign. I dunno why they don't just change the name, save everyone a load of knobache.

    back on topic

    >Be travelling in the British countryside
    >See eyes beside road
    >Cruise past, realise eyes are half a metre above the crash barriers.
    >Animal is huge
    >As car passes slowly, see black shape turn and head back into the undergrowth.
    >I swear to god it was a panther. Fucking ABCs.

    Who switched my wandering monster tables with the fucking Indian Jungle ones?
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:21 No.16590908
    >Walking home from a mates place
    >Stop at service station
    >Five guys dressed like spartans ala 300 come in
    >Full outfits, down to real leather and spears / shields
    > One of them grabs a novelty mnm display thing
    >They run out
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:22 No.16590910
         File1318346533.png-(78 KB, 240x240, 1277548267242.png)
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    >.50 cal blanks
    >registered quad-50

    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:23 No.16590920
         File1318346592.jpg-(76 KB, 519x600, batman laugh.jpg)
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    >run out with m&m display thing

    That's fucking awesome.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:23 No.16590921
    Ausbro here, wtf is it with fucking huntsmans man?
    >watching a war doc, feeling woozy due to gore
    > 11pm
    > fucking huntsman the size of a fucking bread plate strolls out of my foucking laundry and stops on the ground infront of the tv
    >raises his little front arms at the tv twice and strolls off into the kitchen
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:26 No.16590932

    Kind of; it's all sunk into his toys. The kind of guy who will blow a few hundred bucks worth of blanks for a good giggle. Although I think that particular incident was worth it.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:26 No.16590933
    You are now aware that it was praising the TV for showing the deaths of humans.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:26 No.16590937
         File1318346805.jpg-(68 KB, 800x534, huntsman.jpg)
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    >Aw, huntsman, that sounds cool
    >Off we go to google
    >I like spiders me - I think they're cool
    >See pic related
    >No more googling australian beasties for me.

    Seriously, that thing is giving me the heebeejeebees - if that walked acrosss my living room floor, I think I'd just move house.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:27 No.16590942

    ... well that's fucking odd. Well, not so much, I guess, the standard "escaped pet" thing, for sure. But of course, the whole "alien big cat" thing over there.

    Here in the States we've got native big cats, so seeing one in a different color doesn't get us as excited.

    Now an ELEPHANT, that'd be cool.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:29 No.16590952
    I remember hearing about an actual case about that, and there being an actual panther loose in the British countryside.

    SO you probably DID see one. Congrats anon!
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:30 No.16590957
    and they regularly grow over 15 cm wide. fuck australia.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:30 No.16590960
    I have no goddamn clue. Sometimes I believe that they are the cows of the spider kingdom. Big and dumb. I find the Daddy Longlegs to be much better company.

    >Sitting on a one seated couch, playing some vidya
    >Spot a Daddy Longlegs in the corner
    >Eh, he ain't bothering anyone.
    >Little while later...
    >Feel a tickling sensation on my leg
    >Look down
    >He's crawling up my leg
    >We lock eye contact and stare for a while, unmoving
    >I get bored and lean back in my chair
    >He keeps climbing up
    >Turns out he just wanted to reach the arm of the chair
    >Sits there for a while and watches me play vidya
    >After about 20 or so minutes, he leaves

    This happened over the course of a week. By the end he was my favourite spider ever.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:31 No.16590963
    Guy in Maine, here.
    Everybody seems to know about the existence of a local mountain lion or have had sightings/encounters with it. Everybody but the forest ranger, who swears there are no mountain lions here.
    I don't care what you say, mac. I don't trust giant fucking cats unless they're visible and friendly.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:31 No.16590964
    Here's some insight into Australia's fauna: everything over there, from the trees to the fish to the air itself, all of it - all of it, no exclusions whatsoever - is as remorseless and pitiless as a Terminator and they have the exact same goal: they want to kill all humans, forever.

    To date, every species in Australia is either toxic by content or behavior; most species can either bite through a dinner plate or corrode it with some form of venom.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:32 No.16590977

    Marginally related story from Michigan:

    >Early morning, why am I up this early on a weekend?
    >Look out back doorwall, pony dicking around in pasture as usual, and in our hay field-
    >Is that a fucking EMU?
    >Get field glasses.

    Turns out a guy a few miles away was breeding them or some shit like that and a couple got out and led locals on a merry chase through the local farm country. Those living near Ann Arbor might recall.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:33 No.16590989
    Used to know a real veteran who worked night security for english heritage here in the UK. He later became a Prison Guard at a maximum security prison, and he's a real bro still.

    Here's one of his random encounters, since my own suck.

    >Working night-shift at a castle
    >Patrolling corridor
    >hear a wooden door creak
    >spin around with torchlight
    >no doors in sight
    >hear creaky footsteps
    >again, nothing
    >getting majorly freaked out
    >turn corner, footsteps stop
    >look back along corridor
    >later when out in the open hear a demonic chuckle
    >shit brix

    Turns out that the area he was patrolling used to have a staircase that went up to a higher(now abandoned) level, and he had walked right through where the stairs used to be.

    Wether he was being fucked with by the other guards(none of whom were nearby) or what, we'll never know. He's had a tonne of other freaky weird experiences since, and once took a photograph of the 2nd floor at a manorhouse, complete with its magnificient paintings and old carpetfloor.

    >The manorhouse in question had its 2nd floor gutted by fire in the 19th century
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:33 No.16590990
    daddy longlegs are awesome. they eat flies and mosquitos for you, make small webs that dont mess up teh house and are prettymuch the most bro-spider ever...

    fuck all the other ones though. especially those ones you stomp on and then watch as the 15 million babby spiders emerge from the mothers fucking corpse.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:35 No.16590993
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    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:35 No.16590998
    All I can think of every time someone says huntsman is The Huntsman from Freakazoid:

    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:35 No.16591001
    Holy crap I couldn't agree more. They spread like a wave after you stomp on the big one. I just want to take a flamethrower and scorch the ground in a 5 meter radius when I see those.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:37 No.16591012

    Related story. The ex-security guard bro swears they once had reports of a big cat loose on the grounds(which were massive and forested.) They never had any sightings, but they found tracks and dead birds that had been pretty well mauled. Might have been that Panther, or something like it.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:37 No.16591013

    Their spiders have health-bars, and are a lvl 12 encounter.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:38 No.16591014
    > Reading Max Brook's Zombie Survival Handbook.
    > Read bit at the back of book about recorded zombie encounters.
    > Get creeped the fuck out.
    > Go to bed around 2am.
    > Summer so window is open.
    > Hear the most ungodly noise fucking ever just outside my back garden.
    > Shit myself thinking the zombie apocolypse is here.
    > Fucking foxes.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:38 No.16591016
    Middle Sweden here too.
    I once encountered a squirrel that made a really strange noice.
    It sounded like the smaller monsters from Cloverfield.

    And about foxes... vid related:
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:38 No.16591018
    reminds me of a hunting story when i lived on a farm in aus.
    >be 15
    >walking along river, getting slightly dark, everything is silent as fuck
    > carrying .22
    > starting to get a little creepy
    >motherfucking demonic screams and moans out of the goddamn trees
    > leg it back to the ute and floor it home
    > dad later tells me its just dropbears mating call.
    srsly though all jokes aside, koalas make the most fucked up sounds. check it on youtube.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:39 No.16591024
    >heading to work after visiting with friends
    >preparing for massive campout event in PA
    >awwww yeah
    >see two guys making fun/harassing kid with a red, glittery star pinned to his chest
    >kid appears to be mildly-to-moderately retarded
    >nock arrow into bow
    >approach rapidly and halt ten feet away
    >both stare at me
    >clear throat and say,
    "I've never shot this bow at a human before, but today I'll try for two."
    >two guys run away at high speed
    >look over at kid
    >smile as best I can and say,
    "Stay in school, study hard and do good things."
    >run to work, fifteen minutes late
    I am a random encounter.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:39 No.16591026

    Agreed, Mainefag. I've dug through my families old, OLD copies of the "Foxfire" books (they're compilations of 'lost knowledge' of the pioneer days; everything from cow milking to tree splitting to making split-rail fences; things almost everyone used to know just like most people now know how to drive.) Part of one book covered old stories about mountain lions, except the pumas in question were occasionally black, and were referred to as "painters" (That's "Panther" as warped by various filthy American regional accents, dear Eurobrethren.) The occasional genuine Panther wandering much further north then usual in those early pioneer days, mountain lions with duskier coats mistaken by jumpy men on cloudy days, or legends springing from the "black == satan" connection plus the already-extant dislike of pumas... take your pick.

    But it's clear that, even since early pioneer days, nobody fucking likes mountain lions. Anybody who's kept domestic cats knows what I mean - if you imagine that silent hunter's competence in a body ten times as big, with the strength and feral will to kill a man, you know why nobody fucking "trusts" them. At least a wolf will give you warning, run you down with a pack.

    But pumas? NOOOOOPE.JPG. Spooky fuckers.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:39 No.16591027
    Sorry to burst your bubble, anon, but that particular picture isn't a Huntsman. It's a Sydney Funnelweb.

    Sydney Funnelwebs are like Spider version 1.0. They are dinosaurs. Their fangs aren't on pedipalps that face eachother, they're faced down like railroad spikes. And they can rear up and crash down on things, capable of piercing fingernails and soft shoes. Even crush mice heads. And worse, they go *looking* for trouble. Yes, they are the original Headcrab. Huntsmen are actually rather tame and inoffensive. They're just huge and leggy.

    Fuck. Australia.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:40 No.16591033
    Not my encounter, other than tangentially

    >Be at work in London
    >Colleague arrives two hours late
    >Sorry I'm late boss, the train had to stop because Wallabies on the track
    >Baws is liek all "fuk U, worst excuse ever, you b&"
    >Colleague is all "no, f' realz"
    >Baws calls railway company "Did you have a delay on your trains today because of wallabies"
    >Listens a while
    >Puts phone down
    >I'm sorry Evans, it seems I have misjudged you. Lunch is on me.
    >Turns out the wallabies escaped from some farm nearby - it was on the news that night
    >Baws bought everyone lunch at Simpsons in the Strand
    >Turned out better than expected.jpg

    England is, apparently, full of all manner of weird shit.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:44 No.16591045
    you forgot that funnel webs are the 2nd most poisonus of all spiders too.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:44 No.16591052
    Aus Spiderguy here again.

    >At the zoo
    >Spider enclosure
    >There are a bunch of spiders in a single large tank
    >Wander around, walk along it
    >Get to somewhere around the middle of the tank, see a spider standing there, with it's two front legs up, looking at him
    >Stare it off for a while
    >Put my finger on the glass and make a figure 8 pattern
    >The spider follows my hand
    >Amused, keep doing this for a while
    >Another spider walks up beside the first one and joins in
    >A kid who was nearby sees this and starts making a big deal out of it
    >Walk away quickly

    I don't think I went back to the spiders again for well over a year.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:44 No.16591054
         File1318347884.jpg-(10 KB, 320x211, 1316225615744.jpg)
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    Emu spotter guy here. Now I know what owned that deer this past summer.

    >Inna Weeds with 10/22, waiting for coyoties
    >Big deer crashing around in the back treeline
    >Fox goes WHROOAH!

    Fukkin deer, man. Fukkin deer.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:44 No.16591059
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    >Ima Druid
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:45 No.16591061
    Quite. We make up for being the safest most tranquil and stable enviroment by having a shit tonne of freaky stuff.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:45 No.16591063
    OK, I got one.

    >At a friend's house
    >Go in, supposed to be a bunch of my friends in there.
    >Nobody's in there, figure they're hiding out in the big ass yard or in the camper out back
    >Find my friend's brother's army flashlight and grab my military tomahawk from my car for shits
    >Go in search of them
    >Think they're in the camper 'cuz door's locked, but they won't make a noise or come out
    >Get bored, decide to check the pasture for another friend, a weasily ass fucker who'd probably hide in cow shit if he thought I wouldn't look there.
    >Go out into the pasture, deeper and deeper.
    >Get to a single line of small pines, more pasture on other side.
    >Start walking, listening to my footsteps (crunch crunch) in the grass.
    >Eerily hear another set of footsteps ahead of me past the trees.
    >Stop walking, they stop walking too.
    >Start back walking, they start back too.
    >Switch off my light and ready my hatchet.
    >Sit for a while and listen
    >Dead silent
    >Turn on the light and bolt for the trees
    >Suddenly hear whatever bolt off in the other direction
    >It doesn't stop running
    >Get to other side of the trees, see nothing but darkness
    >Go back to house, all friends inside laughing
    >Ask who the fuck was out in the pasture
    >All their smiles melt and they don't know what I'm talking about

    I know they weren't fooling me, as most of them are terrible liars and whatever was out there couldn't have reached the house before me without me hearing or seeing it. Friend says it was probably the meth addict that lives off on the other side of the woods who comes and tries to scope his house out. I'm a big guy (six foot, big shoulders and arms) and I was wearing a Leon Kennedy style jacket wielding a hatchet. The only light was a street lamp far off behind me at my back casting a gloomy light... So, who was the random encounter here?
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:45 No.16591065
    The hate of mountainlions has since been reborn in the populace thanks to Red Dead Redemption.

    That and my elementary school's stories to not walk through the fields across from the school because kids have been eaten there seriously! Totally not a scare story made up by the teachers!

    Went back there last year and there's now a housing development there.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:45 No.16591066
    No sir, you are that crazy Musketeer, that everyone stood up for in Court.

    You are epic, and a hero.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:46 No.16591070
    And it's spelled opossum
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:46 No.16591071
         File1318348000.png-(162 KB, 500x602, EXTERMINATUS.png)
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    MFW i read that as funeral web spiders
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:46 No.16591072

    >since early pioneer days, nobody fucking likes mountain lions

    Fuck pioneer days. Anyone who's ever played Red Dead Redemption hates the motherfuckers. Only thing that consistently killed me.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:48 No.16591077
    It's strange, but I envision England as the mold from which Monty Python drew inspiration from. It's like every bizarre nonsensical part of Europe decided to have a potluck in that particular region and what's logical in other areas becomes nonsense there, and vice versa.
    At least in Finland you can imagine an encounter will involve wolves or deer. England? Fucking no. Some marching band led by a gorilla riding an elephant, or a riot caused by faulty tea cozies. You never hear this shit happening to Scotland. At least Ireland has some kind of logic with dealing with car bombs and stupid drunken shenanigans. But does England ever get the normal weird shit? No, it gets real life Monty Python sketches.

    This is why their mad scientists invent guillotines made of water and fighter planes made of wood.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:49 No.16591079

    Depends where it was, because I actually did a bit of poking around (tired of everyone being all "sure Anon, you saw a panther. What were you smoking again?") and there were a couple of other sightings of 'something' in the area - Barrow-upon-Soar in the midlands.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:50 No.16591084

    Pretty accurate, really. If you get bitten by one and don't get to a hospital and treated in 15 minutes, you're as good as dead.

    Also, did I mention they can survive in water for up to 24 hours? *Never* be the poor fool who goes to get the "dead spider" out of the pool.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:50 No.16591091
    >Walking to corner store
    >About 5 houses in a row have toilets in their lawn
    >Look at road, see car
    >Looks like dog is driving it. Whether it was the angle I saw it at or what I have no fucking clue
    >What the fuck is going on here
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:51 No.16591093
    Aus Spiderguy here again. Got one more spider story.

    >At the zoo with my family
    >My little brother drags them all off to see the tigers
    >I say that I will meet up with them later
    >Wander over to the spider tanks
    >There is a large one against one of the walls in the room
    >Walking along it, trying to spot the spiders that are hiding
    >Around about halfway down the tank I spot a lone spider, front legs up, staring right at me
    >I walk over and stand in front of it, we both stare off
    >Eventually I put my finger up onto the glass, and it looks at it
    >My finger starts to slide a little, and it follows it down the glass
    >Get an idea in my head
    >Start making a figure 8 pattern with my finger, the spider is standing there swaying from side to side, following my finger
    >After a few minutes, another spider sneaks out from somewhere, stands next to the first spider, and joins in with the swaying
    >A kid nearby sees this, and starts making a big deal about it
    >As the spiders scuttle off from the noise, I also quickly walk back to my family
    >Don't go back to that enclosure for about a year
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:52 No.16591096
    Ah, sorry. It didn't load the page with the first post, so I didn't think it went through, so I rewrote it out again.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:52 No.16591098
    >riding bike in the middle of the night
    >out for some exercise in the brisk, frigid air
    >fuck this was a bad idea
    >suddenly, deer!
    >a half dozen deer
    >holy shit what was that
    >nearly crash bike
    >deer running behind me, heading in the same direction
    >hear unholy engine noises and frantic yelling
    >rednecks, dozens of them
    >riding ATVs
    >pedal faster
    I thought I heard banjos.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:52 No.16591099

    OK. So I'm supposed to feel better about it because it's got a different name? Why do you fools not understand? AUSTRALIA DOES NOT WANT YOU THERE.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:55 No.16591107
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:55 No.16591108
    >Out camping with the scouts
    >Lake trip
    >Forget to use sunblock
    >End up in a haze of pain and nausea, back pretty much a single contiguous blister
    >Drink lots of water, vomit most of it back up
    >Manage to keep a pair of excedrin down
    >Sleep on front, badly and occasionally
    >Next morning back isn't even red, no trace of back-goo or blisters
    I haven't broken a bone yet, but I'm scared about what might happen if I do.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:55 No.16591114
    nah, what you're not getting is that sydney, is a bad place, fuck sydney, everyone hates it, thats why its got the spider named after it.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:57 No.16591121
    >Walking through the parking lot, going to the game store
    >Car honks, turn to look at it.
    >Parked in the parking lot is a car, with a dog sitting at the wheel
    >It stares at me as I walk by.
    >On the way back, dog is still in driver seat
    >It honks as I go by.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:57 No.16591122
    >This is why their mad scientists invent guillotines made of water and fighter planes made of wood.

    ... that... actually explains a lot. Right down to the nature of British humor, even.


    I LOL'ed. A few nights ago I was pulling in to home at 12:30 AM and saw three durrs run across the corner of my yard, so I chased them through our hay field in my pickup.

    Now they're sleeping in the middle of our lawn.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:57 No.16591123
    >3 summers ago
    >out driving around with some friends, ~1 in the morning on a Tuesday or something
    >streets are almost completely deserted
    >off in the distance, see a very tall lanky black guy, fairly nicely dressed.
    >As we approach, I notice his walking pattern - he is walking in a motherfucking TRIANGLE. Not a circle - a triangle.
    >hang 3/4s of my body out of the car and start yelling random shit to him
    >he smilles, waves and yells something utterly incomprehensible but pleasant-sounding in response
    ...I'm not entirely sure who was the random encounter for who in this situation.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:58 No.16591125
         File1318348714.jpg-(48 KB, 470x312, spider_eating_bird.jpg)
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    Oh, I thought it was just his name. Y'know - Sydney Funnelweb and Harry Huntsman. Billy Poison-Octopus, Terry Dropbear, Craig Taipan, sort of thing.

    A place where spiders eat lizards is not a place I really want to be.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:58 No.16591126
         File1318348722.jpg-(69 KB, 355x384, Possum.jpg)
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    >"A possum (plural form: possums) is any of about 70 small to medium-sized arboreal marsupial species native to Australia, New Guinea, and Sulawesi (and introduced to New Zealand and China)."
    >"Opossums make up the largest order of marsupials in the Western Hemisphere, including 103 or more species in 19 genera. They are also commonly called possums,"

    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)11:59 No.16591130
    >Mountain Lions
    My dad is a lifelong hunter. He's been hunting since he was 15. He's killed dozens upon dozens of just about any animal that it is legal to hunt in the US. And he's indirectly caused the deaths of many more by taking complete and utter nubs out and helping them successfully bag something.

    He has, in his life, actually SEEN 3 mountain lions. Two of them were just their hindquarters disappearing into the bushes as he put a light up on them. This man has killed enough bears over his lifetime to feed a medium-sized town for a year, and he has only ever killed one single mountain lion.

    More like pork than chicken, if you're wondering. Not bad with barbecue sauce and a little pepper.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:01 No.16591139
    >Grandfather used to own a farm.
    >Like to see cows doing cow things in cow situations.
    >Go up there with aunt for reasons I can't remember.
    >She gets out of car, goes around the other side and walks down a hill.
    >Look over to now open door.
    >Lock eyes with PISSED looking bull.
    >Do not break eye contact until aunt comes back.
    >Aunt has to climb over my seat because she doesn't want to get in front of the thing.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:02 No.16591142

    That's only partially because they're rare. The other reason is, they hunt by keeping out of sight.

    When they catch wind of people, they duck into the bushes and kind of stalk around... sometimes just wary, other times actively hunting you. But at no point are they likely to be flat-out NOT hunting you.

    Not cool.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:04 No.16591154
    It also doesn't help that felines are wired to chase after things that run away from them. Which is a trait even more pronounced in cougars. If you think there's one around, walk away don't run, that's an open invitation to getting attacked.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:06 No.16591167
    Are you the same guy who has all the other crazy pizza delivery stories?

    If so, keep on keepin' on Pizzaman, you rock!
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:07 No.16591168
         File1318349230.jpg-(16 KB, 519x313, 2bilbysinahat.jpg)
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    >thats why its got the spider named after it.
    Actually, that's because that specific species of Funnelweb is found in and around Sydney. Hurp Durp.

    If it's any consolation, there are some much nicer animals found there as well. Pic related.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:07 No.16591172
    Any of you been on safari in Africa?

    Nothing makes you feel more alive than being in a Land Rover when a Cheetah starts prowling around the outside of your door.

    Of course, for the real shit, you have to go off-track and out of the Game reserves, but I don't have the balls to do that- not so much fear of animals as fear of bandits.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:08 No.16591174
    >felines are wired to chase after things that run away from them
    So THATS why cats are so obsessed with marbles and laser pointers

    >vc: Cataryl BUCKLEY
    No captcha, no B^U in this thread
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:09 No.16591179
    My second Caribbean story...
    >hanging out at home
    >watching terribad movies
    >decide to go to resort bar to get a drink
    >look at railing
    >three foot drop from railing to ground
    >if I make this jump, saves me the trouble of walking up two flights of stairs, due to weird layout of building
    >I can do this
    >make jump moderately well
    >slightly hurt ankle
    >hear funny noise
    >see fifty fist-sized rocks migrate from under building
    Hermit crabs. Fucking hermit crabs.
    >discovered a new phobia
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:09 No.16591180
    bilbys are pretty much extinct they barely count
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:10 No.16591183
    wasn't being literal holmes, meant that sydney is a bad place with bad spiders, i prefer the brisbane snakes personally
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:11 No.16591193
    Story might be too long. Hope this doesn't 404 by the time I finish it, but I need to tell my story of my epic battle with Man-Cat.

    > Work at a Petsmart in Colorado Springs, CO
    > Cat adoption center taken care of by cute volunteer girl
    > One day she calls in sick
    > Volunteer to take care of the cats for her
    > Manager:
    "Don't fuck with Man-Cat. Just don't. Let the regular girl take care of him next week. Just don't."
    > Normal cats and kittens, nothing big.
    > Change litter, change sleeping towel, change food and water
    > Come to the end of the line
    > See name "Precious" is scratched off with a knife, and someone has carved in the name "MAN-CAT"
    > Xboxheug feline
    > Looks at me like it wants to eat me for dinner
    > Know I'm pretty good with intelligent animals
    > Usually
    "Alright my friend, I want to change out your food and shit. If you don't fuck with me, I won't fuck with you."
    > Man-Cat cocks his head at me like he's curious
    "Seriously. You don't want to fuck with me. I will win."
    > Man-Cat nuzzles the cage bars.
    - to be cont.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:13 No.16591201
    >But at no point are they likely to be flat-out NOT hunting you.

    This is very true - I've seen lions in Africa, and they look at you as if disinterested, but you can see their gears working, calculating angles and distances, and you know that if you step into precisely the wrong spot where they know they will get you, then it is your ass.

    Although nothing on land has ever scared me like some of the diving things I've posted above (and I'm not even mentioning getting snuck up on by sharks and mantas, cos that's usually not a random encounter- you're looking at them. I've stood twenty metres from lions and been reassured by the fact that I've got a bush knife, and Maasai fight lions regularly with nothing more. You've got a chance. When you have a predator encounter underwater, all you hear is the music from Jaws, and a voice in your head saying "this is not your environment and you can't move very well and OHMAIFUCK WHERE DID IT GO I ONLY TOOK MY EYES OFF IT FOR A SECOND?"

    Scarest land animal I ever saw was a tiger. In a zoo. I was peering into the enclosure all like "fuck you tiger, where are you", and then I saw its eyes, about half a metre from mine, and I swear to god I nearly shat myself. There was something incredibly primal about the situation, and the knowledge that it was probably early humans biggest "oops, I done goofed" moment not to spot a tiger when it mattered was pretty humbling.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:16 No.16591216
    >go with friends to a very secluded part of a mountain where a bro owns a litle cottage in the middle of nowhere
    >wander, party, drink beer and have tons of BBQs
    >one day we decide to go take a bath in a closeby mountain river
    >two SRS BSNS wanderers walk past us
    >they have special mountain gear, ropes, silly trekking poles and whatnot and they clearly think they are hot shit mountain explorers
    >we sit in boxershorts in 4°C cold water with drinking horns in our hands laughing and greeting them

    Also, one day later:
    >Sit in front of cottage, one of our guys just took a shower (watering can filled with hot water basically) and is inside the cottage only wearing boxershorts
    >see a group of wanderers approach the cottage (they always mistake the path to the cottage for a trekking route)
    >to the guy in boxers: "Hey bro... the shoes in front of the cottage... are they yours?"
    >he walks outside just the moment the wanderers reach the cottage
    Goddamnit that was a fun trip...
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:18 No.16591229

    > Open Man-Cat's cage
    > He slowly saunters out like the other cats did
    > Affectionately nips my pant leg as I go past with saber-tooth teeth
    "Whatever. You'll go back in when I say or we're going to have battle."
    > He goes over to the cat tree and waits
    > Clean compartment, litter, food, blanket
    > Walk over to him on the cat tree just chillin
    "Alright, time to go back in. You know the drill."
    > Man-Cat pauses his nap to look at me
    > Feel chills go down my spine as the fucking thing just talked at me
    "Alright, have it your way."
    > Walk in the storage room
    > Find leather welding gloves and a tarp with the words "Man-Cat" in black marker on them
    "What the fuck"
    > Don my battle garb, come out and find him staring at me on the floor with his tail lashing
    > Swear he's grinning at me
    > Try to scruff him
    > He somehow TURNS AS IF HE HAS NO SPINE
    > Rips through the thick welding gloves like paper
    > Rips up my fucking arm
    > Drop him
    > He runs under the cages
    > Other cats are dead silent in terror
    > I go after him
    > Throw the tarp on him
    > Drag him out from under the cages
    > He screams, claws THROUGH THE TARP and in to my other hand through the glove again
    > I scream back and plant my thick army boot on him
    > He scratches completely through my fucking boot like scissors
    > Blood everywhere
    > I grab him by the FACE
    > Hurl him in to his cage
    > He escapes the tarp, flings himself at the bars
    > Slam shut the cage door
    > Realize I've been screaming the whole time
    > So has he
    > We stare at each other
    > Both covered in blood
    > I turn around and let out a hearty victory shout
    > See through the glass that the store opened
    > Manager, every employee, and early morning shoppers are staring at me
    > Grin and walk outside
    > Realize that all of the blood was mine, and I was trailing it along the floor
    "Uhh... Anon... do we need to call like... a doctor?"
    "I've had worse. Get me a medkit."
    - to be cont
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:19 No.16591231

    Could I also point out that, regardless of what that anathema to god is called, it seems to have muscles on its arms. That isn't right, surely? Spiders don't have muscles...

    Do they?

    Actually, how do spiders work?
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:19 No.16591235
    >He likes Brisbane.
    >All is explained.

    And the Lesser Bilby is extinct. A shame, they are adorable. Were, rather...
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:19 No.16591237
         File1318349996.jpg-(190 KB, 760x2314, dont fraternize.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:23 No.16591251
    Spiders, as point of fact, do have muscles.
    What they do not have is pity, remorse or anything resembling a soul.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:23 No.16591253

    > Realize I have cuts on my legs, up both arms to the elbow, on my face, neck, all along my chest
    > Ruined right boot, ruined welders gloves, ruined Petsmart employee shirt but nothing else to wear that day
    > Looks like I got in a fight with an angry lawnmower
    > Empty the medical cabinet of bandages
    > Keep working

    > Later that day
    "Anon, someone wants to adopt a kitten... do you feel up to helping them? Someone uhh... cleaned up... your blood."
    > Big grin
    > Get weird looks from the family
    > Show them inside to the kittens
    > Walk past MAN-CAT's cage
    > Paw the size of a python snakes out, tries to get my pant leg
    > Grab the paw by the wrist
    > Smile gone
    > Stare at Man-Cat, who is not freaking out at all with me holding his paw in a death grip
    > He withdraws his paw slowly
    > We stare silently for about ten seconds
    > He purrs and nuzzles the cage bars
    > I nod
    "We have an understanding now."
    > Smiles again
    "So let me show you those kittens!"

    Man-Cat was gone the next day. Apparently the adoption center employee came back and heard about what happened, then watched the security video. They sent him to another adoption center (Colorado is a no-euth state) probably out of fear that he had now gotten the taste of human blood. Maybe more out of fear that he had finally met his match, and that if we battle'd again, it's epicness would tear asunder the heavens.

    I miss that crazy cat.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:29 No.16591281
    You should have adopted Man-Cat
    And then started a PI Agency.
    Man-Cat would never play by the rules.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:29 No.16591286

    >they are adorable. Were, rather...

    Tasty too, if you make em into snags and bung a bit of ketchup on em. Bonzer, yer flamin' galah, and other such australianisms.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:30 No.16591290
    Greentext greentext greentext

    >One or two years ago
    >Commuting to college in those days
    >Park my truck in a lot
    >Pull in really close to the guy next to me, think about moving
    >Eh, fuck it. He can deal.
    >Turn off the engine. There's a guy standing behind my truck
    >Aw, shit. It's the guy next to me and he can't get in.
    >I get out. "Hey, you want me to move?"
    >He gives me a vacuous look.
    >Fuck it, time to go to class, or rehearsal, or whatever.
    >He gets in my way
    >He talks in a slow mumble
    >"Hey man...you...got a nice truck."
    >"Thanks." I try to leave, but I'm pinned.
    >"My brother...he used to...he used to have a truck...like that. We used to haul...all kinds of things..."
    >He goes on about the truck for a long ass time. He tells me he's homeless and he rides his bike everywhere.
    >I think, "whatever. He's harmless. Time to leave."
    >I squeeze by him and start to leave, he's still talking.
    >I turn around and say, "Nice meeting you, but I need to go."
    >Figure I'll be nice, he's harmless, I reach out to shake his hand.
    >He takes my hand. I notice he's missing a finger.
    >He gets kind of wild eyed and starts asking me if I'll give him any money.
    >I say no, I don't have any on me (true). He squeezes harder. I try not to freak out and stay calm.
    >He starts kind of freaking out and squeezing as hard as he can. He's demanding money.
    >I pull my hand out of his vicegrip. Suddenly he bursts out laughing.
    >"I was just fucking with you!"
    >He gets on his bike and rides away, but not before shouting "Happy Holidays!"
    >It was September

    I told my older brother about it later. Turns out it was a guy who used to try and sleep in the coffee shop he worked at who they called "Fingers."
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:30 No.16591294
    That looks more like a wolf spider to me.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:32 No.16591301
    >On holiday in egypt
    >beach is really long and shallow but want to go further out
    >spend fucking ages walking along a shallow coral bit careful not to hurt feet.
    >Get over coral and instantly some monstrous mouth comes out of the depth, bigger than me
    >run back over coral and tear my feet and legs to shreds

    Scared the fuck outta me and hurt like shit.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:32 No.16591304

    Girlfriend wouldn't let me. She was afraid it would eat the dog and our other cat.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:35 No.16591317
    I am now imagining cats meandering around cat-style with noir voiceovers.
    It's glorious.

    The addition of little trenchcoats would be a bit too much, though.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:36 No.16591325
    I will bet one of my thumbs the word she used was
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:36 No.16591327
    I think this thread has been pretty cool guy eh full of random encounters and errybody afraid of everything

    So I requested an archive thing for it. Now if three more people like it enough, it would be saved for all eternity. Wouldn't that be nifty?
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:36 No.16591328
    Not an encounter but something that happened to a friend of mine.

    She worked at a hospital during nightshift cause it's rather easy work, well payed and synchs quite well with university life.
    However the bad thing is that she had a warden with a lot of old people so sometimes, they'd die during the night.

    And this one time, she checked on someone in a room, some old dude, and noticed he had pretty much every sign that it will be going to end soon for him. He was breathing sudden and strange, he got a pale triangle on his face due to blood pressure sinking... These are the signs old people will die within the next few hours.
    So she and a collegue stood in the room and waited for the inevitable. Around half past 4 AM the breathing became more eratic and finally stopped entirely. The man had died. And just when my friend wanted to do the necessary things that have to be done, the moment she took a step forward, the clock (old analogue clock with fingers) in the room stopped and then suddenly spun its fingers in a frenzy until the small finger had finished one revolution.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:37 No.16591332
    >at local county fair. Band playing in front of the stands.
    >8 shitheads are standing up in front of the stands so nobody in the first few rows can see.
    >Younger brother, 8 at the time, gets annoyed at not being able to see over the fuckheads up front.
    >most malice filled 8 year old voice in the world.
    >8 20-somethings immediately sit down.
    >people in the stands clap and cheer.

    Being told to behave by an eight year old must hurt just for the ridiculous juxtaposition.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:38 No.16591335
         File1318351109.jpg-(180 KB, 500x398, 78345637_2c8554052d[1].jpg)
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    yeah, especially as sydney funnel webs are meant to be glossy and darker
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:40 No.16591350

    You owe me a thumb. She drove in to get me, since I required a ride home, due to one boot nearly falling off all day and now being held on with dried blood and duct tape. She met Man-Cat, and refused to go inside the adoption room itself. She just stared at it through the window and said "No. It will eat the dog and your cat. Or you, in your sleep."
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:41 No.16591354
    Christ. Except for the abdomen, that thing is the darth vader of spiders.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:43 No.16591366
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    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:45 No.16591375

    Oooh. Hair-on-back-of-neck-rose-up eerie. Well played, Anon.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:48 No.16591390
    That could either be really really creepy freakout time, or it could have just been a coincidence with a radio-adjusted clock re-setting itself from being out of time with the radio signal.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:49 No.16591401
    Spiders don't have muscles, they have pistons.
    Ichor powered pistons. They are nothing but little angry organic machines designed to ambush, hunt, poison, kill, and creep out everything.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:49 No.16591404
         File1318351793.jpg-(349 KB, 512x772, spider_eating_lizard.jpg)
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    Some things are just beautiful in the levels of primal, pantshitting terror they induce. If I ever saw that within a metre of me, I think I would puke up a lung from pure fear, or just get on my knees and start worshipping it and wait for it to consume me.

    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:51 No.16591418

    So, tiny hydraulic poison death-machines, or Buffed up murderous little body builders with muscles you can see?

    Nice choice there.

    I jut think I won't sleep. Ever again.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:52 No.16591422
    And suddenly my insane masterplan of welding four JCBs together to make a giant mechanical spider has become even more feasible, knowing that this is how spiders themselves work.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:54 No.16591443
    And for venom, you can set it to inject its prey with thousands of Australian [anything]s!
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:54 No.16591447
         File1318352081.jpg-(263 KB, 800x612, 78566d1266062607-help-identify(...).jpg)
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    i know what you mean

    >go outside, notice a weird hole in yard
    >walk closer see pic related, all of my nope
    >flood it with hose

    then a few hours later look outside again and see my two geese willy and wally fucking its shit up and tearing it apart, willy, wally you my men
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:58 No.16591479

    Water doesn't kill spiders man.

    You know what also doesn't kill spiders? 6 months of starvation, missing limbs, and most legal chemicals don't kill them, just fuck with their tiny anger powered brain and make them madder and more aggressive.

    You how you kill a spider?

    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)12:59 No.16591484
    I wonder if I have my ancestral memory fuckedu p.

    To me spiders equal FOOD! delicious spineless fried goodness, oh and pest control too.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)13:00 No.16591489

    Dude, are there fucking BONES in that fucking hole?
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)13:00 No.16591490
    Actually it's more complex than that.

    Spiders only have muscles to move their legs inward, to pull their limbs to the body, so to speak.
    When they want to stretch their legs, they have to pump fluid into the leg and it gets bent straight by the pressure alone.

    That's the reason spiders turn into theses handy packages when they die.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)13:01 No.16591497
    Spider lungs are book lungs.
    Orange oil destroys insect lungs. Anything with book lungs and their waxy coating is at the mercy of orange oil. Seriously,

    You want to kill spiders? Orange oil derived cleaner. It's mustard gas for spiders.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)13:04 No.16591520
         File1318352652.jpg-(455 KB, 1024x768, White_Sebastopol_Goose[1].jpg)
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    thermite, champ thermites for chumps you want hardcore geese, two sebastopols and the sucker didn't stand a chance

    do you mean behind the spider?
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)13:04 No.16591523
    A liberal application of spray deodorant seems to freeze them long enough to find something to smash them with
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)13:06 No.16591540

    That's not very nice, is it? Just because they're gross and horrid is no reason to kill them.

    Besides, some of the things in this thread, I would be afraid to only wing them and leave them wanting revenge.

    >You killed my children, and I'm going to hurt you once for each of them. All 17,873 of them. Are you ready? THIS IS FOR SYDNEY!!!!!
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)13:06 No.16591542
    Boy, when she told me that story it send shivers down my spine... it even still does today.
    But as for your theories, I had similar thoughts with a radio clock going out of synch, however one question remains:
    What made the clock go out of synch at that specific time?
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)13:06 No.16591548
    >high school chemistry class
    >shared the room with the junior biology class
    >late group of bio students is studying spiders
    >leaves several jars filled with local examples
    >chemistry teacher (a true fa/tg/uy) is not pleased
    >new lesson:
    >making toxic chemicals
    And not a single spider left that day.

    I also have seen what happens to a spider when it meets liquid nitrogen, but only because I brought one back to class with me.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)13:11 No.16591575
    You say it was around 4 AM. Most radio clocks don't continually check in order to save battery life, and instead usually check every 30 mins to 1 hour, usually on the hour. The clock may have been slightly slow and been losing time, but not enough to trigger the radio re-set on the previous checks, and when it hit 4 it realised it was a few seconds too slow and re-set itself.

    I still like the idea of it being paranormal in explanation though.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)13:13 No.16591589

    That spider really ruffled your goose's feathers.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)13:15 No.16591606

    And, furthermore, do hospitals have radio clocks? Since they flip their shit if you turn on your mobile just for a quick game of angry birds while you wait for granny to croak, maybe radio clocks would fuck with their avionics or whatever the fuck. What am I, a scientist? Get off my lawn, you kids.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)13:16 No.16591620
    They only receive, they don't broadcast, and even then only in tiny bursts every hour or so.
    >> ASSMAN !!UBHXCYYLPeR 10/11/11(Tue)13:17 No.16591625
    I'll tell you.
    only partially.

    They move slowly by using very small internal muscles, but to go fast like when they murder stab their prey, they use the hydrolic pressure of their own BLOOD to speed up their movements.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)13:17 No.16591626
         File1318353439.jpg-(8 KB, 225x225, 1315920846469.jpg)
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    this guy, this guy right here
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)13:17 No.16591628
    Well, it was some strange time like 4:37 or something when it happened, so hell if I know.

    I don't believe in ghosts so I guess it's a mundane thing like the clock desync but still... the timing is just made for being creepy as shit...

    And as some bright man once said: "Whoever disregards unexplainable phenomenons and paranormal things as unscientific is indeed acting unscientific himself."
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)13:18 No.16591636
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    Still, unless we know for 100% certainty that this hospital had radio clocks, I'm going with the "old man trolls everyone on his way out from this mortal coil" theory. That or pic related.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)13:20 No.16591648
    I think you may be looking at the problem in a conventional idea.

    Perhaps the old man had become synchronized to the clock itself, and as it lost time, so was he. His heartbeat, for lack of other stimuli, takes on the metronomic tendencies of the clock's "ticking".

    When it was prepared to lose its metaphorical shit, so did his internal biorhythm.

    See? Not entirely scientific, not entirely supernatural, and it sounds kind of nifty.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)13:20 No.16591649
    You must be new here. We use sup/tg/, our own archive with less suck.
    You should read Lackadaisy.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)13:27 No.16591717
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    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)13:27 No.16591720

    I am relatively irregular here, I guess. Although I had heard of that there sup/tg/ thing, but it slipped my mind. I'm more used to requesting archives on the other thing.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)13:45 No.16591903

    More strange but tame stuff from london

    >Walking home from Uni at 3-4am. Exam period.
    >Out of bloody nowhere, a fox runs right across my feet and dashes across the road.
    >This is in Waterloo. Central london

    Why the hell was a fox there in the first place?
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)13:49 No.16591946
    theres foxes all over the cityt
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)13:53 No.16591977
    Thank you for the pointer, but I was thinking more like nature documentary sort of thing.
    The word 'Dame' will be used excessively.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)13:55 No.16592003
    >Get out of the shower.
    >Small brown pider on the bathroom wall.
    >It's freezes as soon as it sees me.
    >I freeze as soon as I see the spider.
    >Time passes.
    >"Well?" I say to it, "get back to work. The bugs aren't going to eat themselves."
    >Spider immediately scurries off.

    I was the spider's random encounter...
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)14:02 No.16592071
    >Summon Nature's Ally 0
    You are a druid.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)14:06 No.16592117
    > This has now become a spider thread

    > Move to Tacoma, WA
    > First day in new house
    > On the shitter
    > Crappy tiny window open since fan is broken
    > Spider crawls in the window
    > Stops when he sees me
    > Staring contest for about 5 minutes

    "Alright, I'll level with you. This is my home now. I don't want you in here. I don't want any bugs in my home. If there are bugs in my home, I will retaliate with angry violence and painful chemicals. I want you to exit that window, find some place else to make a home, and tell all the fucking bugs out there to leave me alone too. If you want, you can even make your home by the back door, and I won't bother you. Bugs love that fucking porch light. Now get the fuck out."

    > Spider turns around and leaves the way he came
    > Makes home near the porch light
    > My one and only Spiderbro ever.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)15:43 No.16593047
    This is a copypaste classic:

    >Walking thorugh shopping centre
    >Turn the corner
    >See a midget pushing a wheelbarrow full of bread rolls
    >I smile at him
    >He turns to me and says "No crossiants today, boss"
    >> Emergency Chair Warmer 10/11/11(Tue)15:43 No.16593050

    Why not keep the spider if you hate bugs?
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)15:55 No.16593137
    Every city has that one crazy guy who everyone recognizes and has a nickname for.
    My city has (as I call him) The Beardy Arab. He's a slightly fat homeless middle eastern man. He's got a HUGE osama-style beard and an equally impressive hobo-fro.

    Thing is, I see him all the fucking time. Usually he's in the corner of a crossing, staring into the beyond with a calm and enlightened expression. He's fond of popping into existence as soon as I think of him. I've seen him chill in the lobby to the cinema, riding on a bike the other side of town, and drinking found milkshakes as I passed him. He's always wearing that peaceful sagely expression.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)16:13 No.16593320
    >Land Rover
    Jesus fucking christ how terrifying- you're lucky the car didn't break down
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)16:22 No.16593408
    Alas poor /r9k/, I knew ye well
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)16:28 No.16593455
    At least it contained a certain part of the userbase.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)16:30 No.16593469
    >Sophmore year of college
    >Live in dorms
    >Late in the Spring Semester, Geese have returned
    >My window was right next to the roof of an adjacent building
    >For over a week, two Geese have sat right outside my window and honked loudly around 6 am each morning
    >finally get fed up
    >get out of bed
    >open window
    >lean out
    >I should mention here that I grew up in NYC metro area, so I have a pretty thick accent when angry
    >slam window shut
    >both geese look confused
    >leave to take a piss
    >come back
    >they see me, start hissing at me, coming towards the window in threatening gestures
    >come at me bro
    >suddenly, someone next door makes a noise they don't like
    >they get all freaked and start to walk away
    >lean head out window again

    They didn't come back.
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)16:49 No.16593659
    JUST had one.
    >delivering Pizzas
    >on way back to shop
    >get stuck behind ubiquitous big white van doing 15 mph in a 30
    >van turns down side road
    >was being held up by car in front
    >car in front has a guy dancing on the roof, naked
    >naked guy gets bored after a while, climbs in through passenger window, car speeds up and blasts off at double the speed limit.

    ...i don't fucking even...
    >> Anonymous 10/11/11(Tue)17:49 No.16594143
    would've been weirder if he had climbed back inside through the DRIVER window.

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