We break into a scientist's lab to get some fancy new super-science widget-gizmo-whatsit to replace our pistol. Which is certain to go horribly wrong and give us superpowers.

>>16509680
THERE IS NO POSSIBLE WAY THAT THIS PLAN COULD GO HORRIBLY AWRY; I SUPPORT IT ENTIRELY!!!

>>16509680
>Ilikewherethisthreadisgoing

Any more takers? Or ideas?

stop this petty life of crime and turn to good
you can't beat the bat
he is always watching

>>16509698
see
>I'll tell you one thing - you get a taste of the easy money, you never want to go straight again

I like the breaking into someone's lab idea. Any idea of what it might be, though? Strength, speed, elemental powers, etc.?

oh my shit, I'm so in for this quest.

Please please, do not give up on it.

First order of business, do we have any connections? Especially the villainous kind.

Medium term goal needs to be releasing the villains from Arkham.

Preserving our anonymity is of the utmost importance. As long as we're dumb muscle to the Batman, the worst we'll receive is a beating.

What if that's who we are?

Crowdsourced.

>>16509749
>>Crowdsourced.
I like this idea. Maybe we end up with cloning powers and can duplicate ourselves into a single-man mook crowd, with no other superpowers?

>>16509680
>>16509690
I look at my heater, and it's a shoddy thing indeed. A small hunk of blue-gray metal that feels so light in my hand. Against an old lady with a purse, maybe, but hell if it won't jam just when I need it. What I'd give for an electrified umbrella right now... As my head turns from the grimy window to the newspaper on the floor, I catch sight of the headline.

>>16509739
Above a photograph of a white-haired man with soda-bottle glasses toting a long glass-studded doohickey the words read SCIENTIST DEVELOPS NEW ENERGY SOURCE.

>>16509749
The phone sits right where I left it, on the cheap plywood nightstand next to me. I know Larry's still in town, and Roy-boy too. Hell, might be worth a shot!

>Time to get down to brass tacks, boys! Roll a d100 to see how well you do at getting a crew together. Two rolls, that's all you get.

rolled 70 = 70

my curiosity is peaked.....

>>16509828

>waiting on one more roll

rolled 68 = 68

>>16509828
guess ill roll again. Also, can Roy-Boy work at a gun shop? pic-related

>>16509802
Let's get the gang back together. Call em up.

rolled 71 = 71

>>16509886
Dammit

rolled 91 = 91

After we pull a crew together, we gotta hit something. Can't run a gang on empty pockets.

for the dice, is higher better or worse?

Let's slang rocks, Eazy style.

>>16509939
THIS, MUTHAFUCKA!!!

>>16509828
>>16509881
>>16509886

"Dooley's Tavern," the voice on the other end growls.

"Yeah, is Wanda there?" I ask. A moment goes by, then I hear Larry's voice on the phone. "Hey, pal, I got an idea..." A few moments later, I'm on the phone with the neighborhood pawn and gun store.

"Right," Roy-boy says. "See you tonight."

"And bring some friends, if you've got any," I joke, and he laughs.

"All right, I'll see what I can do."

As I hang up the phone I bend over, making the springs squeak as I pick the newspaper up off the dirty wooden floor.

"Professor Aston Deward has developed a technology that he claims draws energy from henceforth undetected dimensions, wholly similar to our own. While this may sound like something out of a science-fiction novel, the public demonstration tomorrow night will, in Professor Deward's own words, "put to rest any nay-sayers."

>Two hours before you meet Larry and Roy-boy in the park, fella. Any other business before you head over?

Can we be classy for this? How about a little shoplifting a suit or something so we can be flashy for a little heist?

>>16509966
oh shit, were gonna end up on a different earth by the end of this.

>>16509966
As I said earlier: let's push dope

>>16509966
Make sure to NOT look stylish. Stylish guys are supervillains. We're just a normal Crook.

Secure some non-lethal weaponry, maybe? Killing people might bring undesired attention to us.

rolled 32 = 32

>>16509999
Fudged my roll. Also, quads.
Hoody, trackies, nikes.

>>16509999
Straight up, let's put some work in!

How much money do we have right now? Might want to buy some equipment or hire some thugs just incase we run into Bat or any other crime fighters.

>>16509966
Got to get some background information- read that article carefully, and see if it mentions where the scientist works. Then we can look up where that place is, so that we're not working totally aimlessly here. Actually pulling something at the demonstration would be way too high-profile; we want to move on this tonight, and hopefully catch the scientist alone at his lab.

>>16509992
I skim the rest of the article and flip the page absentmindedly, and in front of my eyes is a picture of a dapper-looking fellow in a three-piece suit. A glance at the address tells me it's near Century Park...

>>16509999
As I ponder the merit of dressing for success, yelling from the crackheads in the alley outside my window gets my attention. For a moment I consider how easy it would be to push that junk, but even a guy like me has standards.

>>16510002
Dressed to the nines, or dressed to look like Joe Citizen? Decisions, decisions...

>Roll a d100 with your choice, suit or sweats. First vote for each is the one that counts.

rolled 99 = 99

>>16510084
Sweats, we're not the type of goof to dress up for a robbery

rolled 19 = 19

The usual clothes will look less conspicuous if we have to make a getaway.

>>16510100
:D Hah, beat that, you fancy dressers

Let's get hired as glaziers by Wayne Enterprises. For some reason they always seem to be the ones who replace the windows in places that the Batman busts into, so maybe we can look for clues about him while on the job.

>>16510084
Don't be such a busta and push some fucking Dope.

>>16510143
Say no to dope. We're not that kind of crook

Uhh...

What is "dope"?

>>16510100
Nah, I think to myself as I toss the paper back onto the floor and stand up. I've never been the type to hog the limelight. I pull on a hooded jacket, pocket the mask and gun, and check myself in the cracked and spotted mirror. Not bad, not bad. Could hardly pick myself out of a lineup.

>>16510037
I pull out my wallet and open it up, but the only thing that pops out is an expired coupon.

>>16510067
Richard A. Watkins Research Center... I think I was there on a field trip when I was a kid. Uptown, not the place I usually hang out. It's in a secluded enough place, though.

I head out the door to meet they guys.

>Anything else you want to do, roll a d100 and state it. Five minutes to decide.

>>16510173

Seriously?

Anyways, I vote for sweats, or something else easy to move around it and inconspicuous.

We don't want to attract attention to ourselves, we're not a supervillain out for fame, just the fortune part.

>>16510173
>What is "dope"?

Drugs. Specifically, >>16509939 crack cocaine.

rolled 61 = 61

>>16510198

If it's not a place we're familiar with, we should see about discreetly getting some information on it, maybe a map or some other layout.

>>16510198
Make sure there's beer and fresh milk in the fridge.

>>16510202
Perhaps at first, but at some point we totally need to get some superscience to counter the Bat.

rolled 27 = 27

Get some whiskey! Liquid courage is still courage!

What kind of criminal who wants lots of money fast DOESN'T turn to dope?

I say we upgrade our wardrobe to something more respectable once we get our hands on some money.

>>16510305
A Gothomite.

>>16510224
As I walk to the bus stop I pass a magazine stand. Lucky for me the owner has his back turned, and a moment later the Twenty Top Tourist Attractions of Gotham City is in my pocket.

>>16510227
Only too late do I realize that I never checked to see if the milk in the fridge was bad. I look up, and see the blue neon display of George's Liquor.

>>16510259
The thought of knocking over the place for a bottle runs through my head (because with the bus fare change I sure ain't buying it), but then I see some more blue. Boys in blue, inside, and I make a neat turn and keep walking.

One twenty-minute bus ride later, I get off at State Avenue, and stroll on over to Century Park just as my watch says 9 p.m. At first I don't see anyone, just a deserted playground, but then Roy-boy materializes from behind a tree.

"You got something better for me?" I ask, and he grins.

After a couple minutes of small talk Larry shows up, with a guy I recognize who used to do odd jobs for the Penguin once in a while.

"You remember Dave," Larry says, and I nod and unfold the map of the Center from its section of the tourist guide.

"OK, here's the plan..."

>We'll do this in stages. Best of two rolls determines how well you pull it off. Five minutes to plan things.

rolled 14 = 14

>>16510394
I think we should scout it our tomorrow, and rob it at a later date. We have literally no idea what kind of security they have in there.

Maybe five minutes is too small of a window to demand, considering how long it takes me between posts. We'll stretch it out to about 10.

rolled 6 = 6

>>16510394
Here's the plan, one guy stands guard in front of the building (have him wait in bushes with a radio to contact the others if there's an intruder). The other three take the rope and grappling gun that Roy-Boy brought and go in from the roof. Two infiltrate the building while the guy with the biggest gun keeps lookout on the roof. When the deed is done, the guy standing guard at the main entrance gets the get-away vehicle. A quick in and out.

rolled 99 = 99

Sounds like a plan to me.

rolled 81 = 81

>>16510471

Have the guy on the roof come in. Sitting outside with a big gun when the freakin' Batman is flying all over the place looking for trouble is a bad move.

rolled 2 = 2

>>16510505

Yeah, better to have two guys inside watching each other's backs.

>>16510471
>>16510490

I'll allow it.

Screw that noise bout planning. All we gotta do is wait near the parking lot, watch some high muckity muck come out to his fancy car, then take em hostage and force him to help us get into the lab. Once we get the science doohicky we just steal the saps car.

>>16510543

rolled 16 = 16

>>16510543

Heh, I love that we're basically nicking Captain Cold's origin story for ourselves.

In fact, once we've got our new stuff, I say get the fuck out of Gotham and its all assorted psychos and head for Keystone. The Flash is tougher than the Bat sure, but the Rogues watch each other's backs. Something we sure as hell wouldn't want any of the Arkham alumni doing.

>>16510471
>>16510505
>>16510522
You might wonder where a bunch of mooks like us get military-grade hardware like grappling hooks, but those are the fringe benefits of working for an outfit like the Penguin. As Larry drives us over to the Watkins Center I check the gas cartridge on the grappling gun, while Roy-boy snaps his Uzi closed. Dave has his own piece, an oldie but a goody.

Larry kills the headlights and tools around the side of the building, and we slip out just before the car glides away into the shadow. Up we go, easy as pie, nothing we haven't done before. The skylight at the top is locked, but hey, you don't live long in this business without picking up a few tricks and tools. A few moments later the lock is off, but then something catches my eye.

The blinking of a security system.

>What now, fella? Roll a d100 for anything you want to attempt...

rolled 85 = 85

>>16510615
We'll try to cut the power to the security system, or try to shut down the phone line if we can't kill it entirely

rolled 96 = 96

>>16510615

Can we tell what kind of security system it is? Laser grid, cameras, motion detectors, pressure-sensor, what?

rolled 68 = 68

>>16510615
They don't let just anyone work for the Penguin. One of our boys should be able to disable it.

>>16510615
Did we already set off the alarm by opening the skylight?
What kind of security system is it? Surely by working with Penguin we should have tools and / or skills required to deal with it.

>>16510630
>>16510641
>>16510643
>>16510647

It's a motion-sensor, sure, and there's some kind of trigger on the window as well.

And neither of them set off any alarms before I got to them.

"What the hell?" I whisper to myself.

"You think they forgot to turn it on?" Roy-boy asks me, and as I shift my stance to look at him I see someone else on the roof with us. A big guy with a black ski mask and a shotgun, aiming it right at us!

>What now???
>Roll a d100, that's what!

rolled 5 = 5

>>16510702
Shoot the fucker!

rolled 34 = 34

>>16510702
Eat lead!

rolled 20 = 20

>>16510702

FUUUUUCK

CAP THAT MOTHERFUCKER

rolled 16 = 16

>>16510711
>5
Run away!

>>16510702
Nuts. But dressed like that he's not security, the law, one of the Bat's many sidekicks (Jason Todd's ski mask is red) or a supervillain. He's probably some minor crook unlucky enough to pick the same place to rob as us at the same time as us.

rolled 90 = 90

>>16510756
captcha ate my roll

>>16510711
>>16510717

Dave turns and raises his pistol too late as the masked man squeezes the trigger on his shotgun!

*KACHOW!*

"Mother-" Roy-boy starts to say before he raises his Uzi at the stranger!

Your own pistol jams!

>What now????

rolled 73 = 73

>>16510771
Hide behind something, obviously.

rolled 72 = 72

>>16510771
Surrender. Drop the gun, put our hands in the air. Ask who he is, and what he wants.

rolled 57 = 57

>>16510771

DO WE HAVE OUR GRAPPLING HOOK?

IF SO: FIRE IT AT HIM.

>>16510789
>>16510790

I dive behind an air vent pipe, suddenly aware of my own mortality. As I peek up and shout "Hey pal, let's be cool about this!" I see Roy-boy and the stranger in a nevous stand-off, guns aimed at each other.

"You son of a -" Roy-boy snarls at me, throwing a nervous glance my way. "Don't leave me hanging!"

"Put down your guns, and get out here where I can see you," the masked man says, and just as Roy-boy starts to protest a radio on the man's hip crackles.

**What's going on, we heard a shot up there**

The man with the shotgun glances in my direction and back at Roy-boy. "You punks! You're dead! Do you know who I work for?" he laughs.

"I'm with the Joker, idiots!"

>What now???

By the way, what setting does this take place in? Is it 40s inspired setting from Batman TAS with Tommy guns and police blimps or a more modern one?

>>16510820
Yes, you have your grappling hook.

I will accept votes on the merit of this idea, now or later.

>>16510861
"What? Are you an idiot? Almost everyone who works for the Joker dies!"

rolled 31 = 31

>>16510861
Fffffff-

Just shoot that guy. You can't make a deal with the Joker.

rolled 72 = 72

>>16510861
"That son of a bitch, us too! Funny fucking joke, man, sending two people after the same prize and not telling either of us. That guy...So now that we know we're on the same side, let's get this thing and get the fuck out!"

>>16510878
>By the way, what setting does this take place in? Is it 40s inspired setting from Batman TAS with Tommy guns and police blimps or a more modern one?

It's... a little bit of a mish-mash. I guess we'll all find out together.

>>16510861

rolled 18 = 18

>>16510901 here

Go with >>16510905

Shoot them later.

rolled 68 = 68

>>16510861

What the hell does the Joker want with this place?

Whatever it is, I'm not too excited to find out. Fire grappling hook into the guy, yell at Roy to GTFO, and get out of there. Radio Larry and tell him there's been a change of plans, we meet up with him on the ground.

rolled 66 = 66

>>16510905

Actually, yes, I change my vote to this instead.

>>16510898
I rise, feeling like one of those Hollywood tough guys about to mow down the competition, and raise my piece-

>>16510901
But the gun jams again.

>>16510905
"A-heh-heh... funny how that works, huh?" I ask, pulling the trigger a couple more times for effect.

"Seriously?" the masked man asks, and from his voice I get the feeling that he might believe this yarn.

"No fooling," I say, and step over the body of good ol' Dave like he's nobody, putting my gun down and planting my feet between him and Roy-boy. "Now how about we all get in there and-"

**Roof, what's going on? Answer!**

>You gonna keep this charade up, or try something else? Roll a d100 either way!

Idiot doesn't know that he's already dead. Sure the Joker pays well for his gigs, but he also kills about 80% of his goons before during and after missions. Honestly we're doing him a kindness killing him with bullets instead of Joker toxin.

rolled 17 = 17

>>16510988
Keep bluffing, try to get him to our side.

rolled 19 = 19

>>16510988
Keep it up. The Joker probably has way more resources in this operation than us knuckleheads and he's crazy enough that his people will believe anything we say.

rolled 45 = 45

bluff like a mothefucker being caught by the husband!

>>16511035
>>16511044

The man slings his shotgun under one arm, keeping it trained on Roy-boy, as he pulls up the radio to his face. "I got four guys in masks on the roof. They say they're with us."

A too-long moment spins out, then the voice comes back to life with his pronouncement.

**They ain't with us. We're sending a guy up**

"I thought so," the masked man says as he shifts his shotgun and pulls the trigger.

>What now???

rolled 1 = 1

>>16511118
TAKE COVER

rolled 56 = 56

>>16511118
Try shooting him again, then get out.

rolled 26 = 26

>>16511118
Well, looks like we have nothing to lose. Return fire.

This may well be the shortest quest ever.

rolled 48 = 48

>>16511175
Ouch. Try and avoid passing out from the pain.

>>16511175
>>16511179
>>16511186

*KACHOW!*

The shotgun blast tears into my arm, blinding me with pain, and somewhere behind me Roy-boy drops. I spin around as I trip over my own feet, and as I crack one knee painfully on the roof's hard surface I launch a crazy shot from the grappling gun right at him-

-and luck beyond luck, it SPANGS into the barrel of his shotgun and knocks it up into the air, flipping out of his hands and spinning into the shadows. I dig my heels in and get back on my feet, fire in my arm.

>What now??

>>16510988
roll+1d100
AGREED. Stick with it, maybe by accident we get into the Joker's gang.

rolled 32 = 32

>>16511252
Fire again, we're in no shape to go hand-to-hand and we need this guy dead and fast.

>>16511252
roll+1d100

Run like a bitch.

>>16511252
Turned off my name...

>>16511280
Put dice+1d100 or noko+dice+1d100 in the email field, broski.

rolled 58 = 58

>>16511252
Shoot him for real this time.

Also, we're on the roof now?

rolled 14 = 14

This gun is obviously busted. Tackle him in desperation.

rolled 18 = 18

>>16511309
Sorry. Run like a bitch

rolled 39 = 39

JUMP THROUGH THE SKYLIGHT! DO IT NOW IT'S OUR ONLY HOPE!

Dice gods be with me.

rolled 96 = 96

Pray for a superhero to save you.

>>16511336
>>16511293
I start to think that coming up here was a bad idea, and stumble backward, toward the edge of the roof. I fire the last grapple, and when it hits the guy in the leg I get a satisfying yelp out of him.

My gun is in my hand, but whether it's a dud or not I have no idea. He looks to the shadows, where the barrel of his rifle gleams as it breaches the line of blackness.

Whatever I do, it's gotta be now.

>Well?

>>16511433
wat

pfhahaha
>>16511433

rolled 95 = 95

>>16511434

His leg is shot, our arm is shot. Grab his rifle and fuck him up.

>>16511433

Ilikewherethisthreadisgoing.jpeg

rolled 87 = 87

>>16511434
Jump into the building, through the skylight! Damn the alarms. We have to go deeeeeper!

rolled 48 = 48

>>16511433

>>16511433

mfw every single other option rolled lower then this one

rolled 40 = 40

>>16511434
Try the gun again, third time's the charm.

>>16511469
He starts to run for his piece, so I do the only thing I can and fling my own broken gun at him! It catches him squarely in the head and sends him off-balance, and an instant later I raise the shotgun and rack it with malicious glee!

"Eat led, mother-"

>>16511433
Suddenly, a black hand snakes out of the shadow and grabs the barrel, and someone growls into my ear a single word.

"Don't."

The shotgun is yanked out of my hands with a strength I can't match.

"Holy-" the masked man says, pulling out a handgun.

"There's nothing holy here," the Bat growls. "Just me."

>What now, fella???

rolled 19 = 19

>>16511532
Put arms in the air and cry.

rolled 86 = 86

>>16511532
Yell "IT'S THE BAT!"

>>16511532
>"There's nothing holy here," the Bat growls as he turns toward the man with the pistol.

Oops, meant to post it as this. Will allow rerolling if desired.

rolled 47 = 47

>>16511532
Jump inside through the skylight and run for the lab. Hopefully Batman will be distracted by Joker and his thugs and we can get what we came for.

rolled 89 = 89

>>16511566
Okay, run away then.

rolled 57 = 57

>>16511532
OH GOD NO NOT YOU I SURRENDER DON'T HIT ME PLEASE

rolled 28 = 28

>>16511588
>>16511575
WITH OUR POWERS COMBINED!

>>16511588
>>16511608

I'll allow it if you want to go with this crazy awesome plan, but I'll need to see a high roll to pull it off. Roll 'em and let's see, fella!

rolled 70 = 70

>>16511633

Rolling. Maybe we will find a vat of mysterious radioactive crazy juice to hide in.

rolled 100 = 100

>>16511633
Rolling for sweet sweet escape.

>>16511665
OMFG YES

>>16511649
Oh well that's a pretty good ro-

>>16511665
...

I'll be right back.

>>16511665

>>16511665
You are my hero.

>mfw he rolls a 100

>>16511665

>>16511683
>>16511665

Oh god yes

rolled 65 = 65

>>16511665
Rolling the knock this motherfucker into a conveniently overlooked vat of chemicals.

>>16511649
>>16511665

I take one glance at the rappel cord at my waist, and while I hear the guy in the ski mask fire off a shot I leap, hoping the quick knot I made holds up. The glass shatters beneath my feet, and I hit the floor rolling, just like old times!

"What was that?" I hear someone shout from another room, and I hide just in time to see the Bat swoop down like a wrathful angel. He drops like a stone until his form flares out at the last second, and he lands with a nimble grace that doesn't match up with his bulk.

And just then, the Joker and his crew show up, with the Professor's doohickey in tow.

A moment later it's on the floor, and a moment after that it's in my hands. I look up at the same instant that the Joker hits the Bat with a cane that telescopes outward with a bone-crunching snap, and slink back out of the fray.

Larry is right where he said he'd be, parked with the red sedan's engine idling quietly. "What happened?" he gapes, looking at my bloody arm and the long, delicate-looking device uneasily slung under my good right hand.

"Long story. Let's roll," I tell him, gingerly laying it in the back seat and rolling it up in the tarp we brought with.

"Where's Roy-boy and Da-"

"Just roll."

And we do. We roll out of there and onto State Avenue just as the flashing lights show up, speeding past us the other direction. Gotham swallows us up.

I think that about does it for tonight, ladies and gentlemen. I hope you've enjoyed yourselves.

I'll be around for a while if you want to hash out any options; otherwise we can just pick up here next time.

>>16511820
I am so happy right now. So happy. There is just... there are no words. I'll come up with a roll in a second. Just let me enjoy this.

We're alive! Holy shit!

Let's celebrate this with a few cold ones. AFTER we're in our safehouse.

>>16511875
i recomend waffles as well. why? we're alive, why the fuck not?

>>16511820
VICTORY!

rolled 81 = 81

>>16511820
Rolling for afterparty at the Iceberg Lounge. Why? Cause we're just that COOL.

rolled 82 = 82

>mfw the original decision to surrender and talk instead of fight maniacally was me, and then eventually Batman showed up

rolled 89 = 89

>>16511933
I concur, Call Roy-boy to see if he got away alive, if he doesnt answer, toss the battery, throw away your phone, and THEN go to the lounge.

Good thing the Iceburg gives us free tables right?