Oh wow, looks like there was a bunch of discussion after my net died, reading now...

Okay, so yes, to answer questions from before:

It WAS a Monty Python reference, but it's also canon. So yes there is a magical sword on your doorstep that everyone's been ignoring, including the nymph who threw it and now lives with you...

But anyways. You have 55 silver on your person. Ready to go see the main attraction at the Athens festival?

Hmmmmmmmm....

Maybe I should have taken care to tell people WHEN the next thread would be last night.

Guess I'll just launch into the initial description and see if anyone's around after all, then.

A great arena has been magicked in at the very heart of Athens; it seems that it has wondrously replaced the buildings for the duration of the tournament. You show your letter to the guards and are led up to a privileged box mostly full of actual clerics of various sorts. You feel...a bit intimidated.

>>16445429
Lets strike up a conversation with some of the other clerics couldn't hurt right?

>>16445503
Oh wow someone IS here!
Are you from rpevious threads, or a newcomer? I need to know so I'm careful with my references.

Yay WoodQuest! :D
>>16445503
Yeah, this sounds good. What do they all look like? Let's talk to someone who doesn't look like some stuck up asshole. Someone who maybe will drink some wine with us.

>>16445527
While you weren't talking to me...
I'm >>16445529, and I come from previous threads. I was there pretty much right from the start, and through both of the threads. Incidentally, I think I was the guy you thanked for explaining the rolling stats rules again, so... you're welcome!

>>16445529
>>16445539
Alright!

You are near:
>A hippy-looking chick in gauzy green robes
>A real stuck-up asshole dressed in all white with gold chains and things
>A young, slender woman clad in garb a bit like your own; a cross between a hunting outfit and robes, dark green.
>A really old dude with fiery eyes and a simple white toga

Who do you want to talk to?

16445503 here
I'm from the previous threads though a quick recap might be good to encourage newcomers to participate cause I'm not sure how long I'll be able to stick around

>>16445563
I don't think I like the asshole... and the hunting person sounds like a cleric of Artemis. Maybe better not try that for now.
So hippy girl or fiery old dude? I really want to talk to the hippy girl, but our wife is probably still around. She may be happy for now, but let's still... talk to the old dude first... just so we don't look like too much of a flirt.

>>16445576
Your wife's right there, it WAS a cleric of Artemis, and the other chick WAS a plant I put there to bring you and your wife trouble.

Well done, you've aced this round.

He turns to you and says:
"I'M SORRY WHAT? I APOLOGIZE, I CANNOT HEAR SO WELL, BUT I AM ALL OUT OF AUTOGRAPHS FOR TODAY, TERRIBLY SORRY."

He raises a conch to his ear. Apparently you're meant to shout into it to talk to him.

>>16445569
Quick recap:
You're a dumb Greek hunter, you pissed off Artemis, you called on Dionysus to save you, he did, now Dionysus and Artemis are apparently at least tolerating each other, you're a cleric of Dionysus, you have a big vineyard and some banging hot nymphs living in it, who Artemis basically threw out of her following after they fell to Dionysus various wiles during the chase scene.

You are now at a special event in Athens on Dionysus' invitation.

Also there's a more detailed summary of thread I in thread II.

>>16445586
Great... let's offer him some wine! I'm sure it will improve his hearing!
Let's try gestures first, but if he doesn't get it, shout.

>>16445613
He drinks deep.
"AH NOW SUMMAT THERE HIT THE SPOT, IT'S GOOD TO BE IN THE COMPANY OF PROPER CLERICS YESSIR! THEM NEW SCHOOLS ARE LARNIN ALL THE FIRE OUT OF THEM SACRED BELLIES I DO DECLARE, NOW WHAT COULD I DO FOR YOU?"

He's literally shouting, because he can't hear himself. And he's probably slightly drunk now.

>>16445633
Just inter- JUST INTERESTED IN MEETING THE OTHER CLERICS HERE BEFORE THE FESTIVITIES BEGIN

>>16445633
Hmmm... he doesn't seem like the right kind of person to talk to here. I like my conversations to be a bit more... private.
"OH, I'M JUST FAIRLY NEW HERE, JUST LOOKING AROUND, TRYING TO GET TO KNOW EVERYONE. WHO IS YOUR PATRO GOD, IF I MAY ASK?"
Let's be polite for now, maybe we can get him to sit down with us somewhere where our shouting doesn't disturb everyone else. If not, let's just excuse ourselves soon.

>>16445698
*PATRON GOD

>>16445707
>>16445698
>>16445658
"POSEIDDOOOOOONNN!!!" he roars.

There's a bit of a sky darkening and thunderclap and people look around thinking the shjow has begun.

"Whups..."

>>16445719
Intradesting. Let's drink to Poseidon with him...
"TO POSEIDDOOOOOOOOOOOONNNN!!!"
*darkening thunderclap*
...and then excuse ourselves, to look around some more. Still same people here?

>>16445737
Well, seated near you, yes. You might have time for one more short conversation before the festivities begin.

>>16445761
The stuck up asshole, we should avoid the pretty girls, it may very well be our job as cleric to bring him down to the level of the common man, through alcohol.

>>16445775
Hmm... I think I would have preferred to try to make peace with Artemis through her cleric, but I guess we might do that later, if there's time.

>>16445797
>>16445775
Apparently he just doesn't NOTICE your greeting, as he keeps staring straight ahead.

By the way, blond hair, blue eyes, tall, and even whiter than the average Grecian.

>>16445817
Jackass.
Let's walk away from him, and if he has a drink, let's turn it into the strongest wine we can make, with the Changewater orison.
Also, the festivities are beginning?

>>16445797
Seconded, but lets do it now, no clue when the next god encounter is gonna scramble everything up

>>16445848
Suddenly you see a bright, shining light. Unnecessarily bright. Sigh. Like the sun. Yes. We get it. Apollo refuses to turn down the glow during his speech, too. The asshole guy stares straight into it trying to be all badass while everyone else shades their eyes.

I can't even type out his speech, that's how bad, boring, and arrogant it is. He finishes it off by showing how well he can throw a discus, a spear, and whatever else he can find to throw. Thankfully, before he can get too far into throwing huge phallic objects at things, there's a great thunderclap and another bright light descends from the heavens, but this one peters out once Zeus actually arrives...to announce a SPECIAL OCCASION!

I realize this isn't really conducive to you doing anything, but I'll break it off here for the moment so you can talk to people around you if you want or whatever.

>>16445893
Let's hit up the hippy chick offer her some wine and find what deity she priestesses for before we disparage any gods in front of her.

Im more interested in the SPECIAL OCCASION, unless wife was distracted during speech, then hit on the plant.

(Imma ruin this marraige without dice, or get poon under her nose)

>>16445893
>>16445893
My god I hate Apollo. I guess that was your intention, so well done.
Apart from that... it doesn't sound like a good time to have a good, quiet conversation with hunter-gal, Apollo's priest is too much of an ass, don't want a screaming match with Poseidon's guy, and hippy girl might still by dangerous... still, it might be okay now, we've shown that we're not here just to flirt. Let's quietly mention to her how much of a showoff Apollo is.

>>16445966
>>16445947
"Demeter."
She doesn't sound snippy, just preoccupied.
I mean it's Zeus in person and everyone's gazing in awe and stuff.
Well, I mean, everyone but you.
You're hitting on a priestess, I mean, when DOESN'T Zeus descend in glory from Olympos?

I'm really trying to save my descriptive energy for a bit later on, so long story short, the very special event is a hunt, like no other hunt before. The hunter is Artemis, and her assistant is the great trapper Dionysus. The prey: None other than the golden lion itself! The paragon of strength, whose very arrows are brighter and swifter than those of his sister. THE BEST AND BRIGHTEST SON OF THE SKIES THEMSELVES, HIS SON, THE ONE AND ONLY APOLLO!

Shine shine shine. Yeah, soak it up, you asshole cleric, you.

"He will be their quarry, but even 2 against 1, the hunters should take care, lest they become the hunted, for his sinews are mighty, his weapons sharp, and his just wrath terrible to behold! The three gods will go at it, unaided except for their respective clerics, who will act as spotters and advisors via telepathic links. And now...to begin!"

With a wave of his hand and a small thunderclap, the area below you (previously covered in fog) is revealed as a wooded area with a great lake in the middle. It is much bigger than it looked from the outside.

Get ready, hero.

>>16446043
Heeeeeeeeey, we get to help our bro!
Say goodbye to our wife, tell her to wish us luck.
Let's first clear up with Dio.
1 If we are allowed to also use some magic of our own
2 If he would want us to do it even if it isn't allowed. Perhaps we can still try that replacing the drink of Apollo's priest with wine plan.

Dio is doing work? Brush off suprise and get our game face on, we need to find where Apollo is so we can ensnare him

>>16446089
*krrrkr static*
"HELLO, OGG? No, stay right there, right up there, we're going for aerial view here. Find Artemis' cleric! You two are our eyes and ears...and our brains too, up there, out of the ripping and tearing and stabbing and pain. Alright? We're starting in just a bit. Ready?"

Apollo appears hovering in midair over the center of the area. Artemis and Dionysus can be seen through some trees towards the far end. Apollo has abandoned his normal toga for, well, just a pair of superhero spandex, it seems. Still shining of course.

>>16446125
Boooooooooorrrring, I want to shoot stuff!
Well, I'm not sure what he wants us to do for now, the guy should be plain to see even for him?
Alright, let's get to Artemis' cleric then. Greet her nicely.

>>16446180
"I figured it was you. The wine red robes, the expression like you had no idea what you were doing here..."

She laughs a long, very silky laugh, and extends a hand, her bosom still heaving slightly with good-natured chuckles.

"I'm Sylvia. Cleric of Artemis. You wouldn't happen to be the one man in Greece who knows Apollo's vulnerabilities, would you?"

(No seriously, think hard about this one. No need to Google for it. Just think about it. And no, I don't mean tell Dionysus to try and kick him in the balls.)

Our sneaky plan:
1 get apollo's cleric off his ass wasted
2 act like worthless drunks, pretend we are too drunk to use telepathy and say everything, but what we say is completely wrong.

First up, act impressed by apollo's appearence. Then attempt 1. Operation Drunk Herring is go.

>>16446228
Um... hubris? An unsurpassed desire to show the world how awesome he is? Sunglasses?

>>16446228
Iirc, nymphs. Go figure. We brought our wine right? The nymph piss wine?

>>16446284
>>16446243
"Hubris." you mutter to the altogether too-attractive Sylvia.

She rolls her eyes, but then suddenly falls silent, thinking hard about something.

You turn to the cleric of Apollo:
"Yea, despite my heterosexuality, I do feel great and irrepressible stirrings in my loins at the glorious vision of your deity! I am all out of my skull...alack..."

"Indeed. You are not the first among the weak to be overwhelmed thus."

"I OFFER YOU AND YOUR GOD THIS TOKEN OF MY RESPECT!"

You offer the wine, having covertly cast Changewine on a skin of what was already wine. He laughs haughtily.

"Planning to inebriate me to improve your god's chances, eh? How very subtle. But allow me to show you the unwavering strength of Apollo, that the despair may not crush you due to his inevitable victory!"

He drinks the whole skin in one long pull. Mission success.

>>16446347
Well, at least his cleric is certainly good at showing his hubris... perhaps we should transform a lake into wine and ask his priest to tell Apollo to drink all of it.
But for now, let's concentrate on what's going on on the battlefield. Also silently ask Sylvia if she's got a plan already.

>>16446414
She whispers in your ear, your wife watching and stewing a bit, but too overawed to do anything but melt into the background. I mean, Zeus is up there beaming down on everyone from a couple thousand feet high.

"Hubris is indicative of insecurity. No matter how mighty and confident he acts, it's all indicative of his insecurity. What typical male behavior."

Sylvia says this last part sounding a LOT like Artemis would. Meanwhile, on the ground, stuff is going down. Dionysus is running nimbly up a winding vine walkway which seems supported by itself and the trees below. He's looking fashionable in an identical speedo, only his is a stylish wine red. Artemis is hanging back, when suddenly, right in front of the cleric box, she flashes into view.

As in she teleports.
Also,a s in all she's wearing is an identical, light green speedo. She fires four arrows in quick succession, then raises a leg above her head while beginning a flip (even her own cleric is trying to work out how exactly she's managing it), and pushes off of the air itself, dashing straight down into the trees. Apollo is hit squarely in the back by the first arrow, dodges the next three, and rotates halfway around, bow out, arrow already fitted to the string, pointing as if by magic straight at where Artemis is about to be. Dionysus is still a few seconds off on his vine tower.

Report on how the battle is goimg, verbally say "So Dio, like, you pwnin noobs yet? You should totally like kick that sun guy in the nuts, that should do it bro!" Mentally tell him we got apollos cleric with wineified wine, so his support is not at its best now. Also arrogance/nymphs are the key.

>>16446514
(No, you can't summon a nymph lol. Also, be sure to give him a status report on the battle as he can't see well, and advise him on what to do.

>>16446483
Guuuuuuuys, not cool, you could have set up traps and everything, the guy is so full of himself he would have come to you!
Insecure, hm? Pull his pants down with a vine maybe? That thing is, after all, the source of all men's insecurities...
DOES HIS THONG LOOK LIKE HE HAS A HUGE PACKAGE, AND ARE WE SURE IT'S NOT ARTIFICIALLY PADDED?
Apart from those moronic ideas, I'm not entirely sure what to do now... trash talk him?

>>16446525
Artemis pulled some matrix shit and she and apollo are about to get into a mexican standoff. Otherwise things are going good so far, apollo already took an arrow

>>16446525
Well, sure, let's tell him that Artemis has teleported here, and that Apollo is about to shoot her. If there's anything quick he can do to distract the guy, now would be the time. Especially if it makes him feel insecure.

>>16446575
>>16446538
"Good, good, thanks. And who's to say we HAVEN'T set a trap for him? What makes juicier bait than ourselves, my good cleric?"

Dionysus halts, kneeling atop his ridiculous, perpetually falling tower of vines, and SHOTS VINE from his hand to Apollo. It grows about him, seems like ti tries to warp his bow, but that fails. However, vines are now growing out of his bow, and they block the first arrow; it strikes a vine, causing all of the other vines on him to wither.

As they fall, their weight pulls off Apollo's speedo, revealing his GLORIOUS PERPETUALLY ERECT 12" AROMATIC PENIS

His pride does not seem diminished. Also, his next arrow blasts one of Artemis' apart in midair and runs into her next one before breaking. His third arrow strikes her midriff at full force just before she can release her third, blasting her back anime-style through several trees. Apollo goes into a dive, hurtling towards her, shining with blinding light.

His cleric, meanwhile, is still standing tall and concentrating hard, but it looks like the effort is making him sweat a bit.

Sylvia is looking very worried.

>>16446483
Tell Dio to tell Apollo that all the people, men and women he's loved have turned into plants because they he disgusted them, in order to enrage him and make him lose his cool.

>>16446626
Dammit, 12''?
Then WHAT is the source of his insecurities?
Anyway, report to Dio that Artemis has been hurt has fallen down, and Apollo is following her into the trees. Trapping him with some vines might be a good idea, but I'm sure our bro has already thought of that. Also, Arty may need some healing.

Ohgodwhatisthis mary sue dick. My bullshit meter is telling me its a fake. Perhaps have Dio pull out a bigger, more sparkly peen?

rolled 6 = 6

>>16446626
tell Dio to aim for the cock for it is surely fake!

>>16446636
"If you're trying to say they tend to end up as vegetables by the time I'm through with them, then I'm afraid I can't argue!" Apollo laughs.

>>16446695
Dionysus lets himself fall, but cannot seem to hit the ground as fast as Rocketma---err, Apollo.

So he improvises. Vines fly from his hands and from the trees below, twining together, allowing him to...ohfuckshitgoddamn...he's Spiderman now. By the time he gets there, however, Artemis has taken two more sun-arrows full force and a punch to the stomach on top of that. He manages to get the drop on Apollo though, jumping onto his back and looping a vine around to attempt to throttle him. He bends backwards, straining, striving to break Apollo's neck, but the sun god throws him off bodily, radiating ferocious energy. As Dionysus lands far away, near the lake, you feel sharp phantom pains in your left arm.

Artemis seems to have disappeared again.

"THE HUNTERS HAVE BECOME THE HUNTED!" booms Zeus' voice, syllables of thunder, from far above.

>>16446718
>>16446716
Come on, he's a god, he's godly.
Still.
The sheer force of the landing shreds Dionysus' speedo...10" and slightly thinner, curses, but on the bright side, more aromatic!

rolled 13 = 13

>>16446765
well fuck... lets just punch Apollo's cleric and get in on the action rollin' for initiative!

What the GAY, by your own devices Artemis is the only one not totally naked in this.


All by YOUR choices.

WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT YOU, OGG?
WELL?
WHAT?!?

>>16446765
Let's try to find Artemis. Also, report to Dio that Artemis has disappeared, and that he is currently near the lake. Can we use that somehow? Throw Apollo in the lake and do underwater/underwine battle?

rolled 17 + 7 = 24

>>16446809
Your init modifier is -1 due to Dexterity, so 12.
But he's not expecting it, so +2 conditional modifier.
So 14.

He has 16 Dexterity and Improved Initiative for a total modifier of +7, which I shall factor into my roll.

>>16446819
It says that we're very greek.
And I'm sure we'll get her naked by the end of this thing.

>>16446819
We're greek, multiple partners and bisexuality is perfectly normal. Have dio fall back, perhaps make a few nymphbait traps. and i intend all uses of the word trap.

>>16446870
He punches you in the face, sending you flying back into your wife. You also take 5 points of non-lethal damage. He sneers.

Meanwhile...

>>16446861
"The lake? Good. Alright...as long as she sticks to the plan..."

Suddenly, Artemis phases into being right in front of Apollo. She brings one leg up above HIS head (again, everyone puzzled), and axe kicks him in the face. Hard. Then she leaps back, off his face, and shoots five arrows at him. He blocks and/or crushes each one with his hands, and zooms after her. Dionysus, still not used to pain, runs unsteadily over to a tree, clutching his arm, and vaults into the concealing foliage. Artemis slips underwater nimbly just as Apollo dives for her.

The moment he hits the lake, Dionysus lets out a piercing whistle.

Anyone recognize this?

>>16446928
No, but I'm sure you will indulge us.

>>16446928
>Anyone recognize this?
Cant's say I do... it doesn't really sound like there's much for us to do anyway now though?

>>16446988
Fine.

"Great trenches appeared in the seas, and boggle-eyed sea monsters appeared from out of the depths."
(Also vines sprang from the masts and the ship began to spin like a top, but there aren't pirates trying to keep him captive here while he toys with them.)

Apollo is mobbed by sea monsters, is out of his element, and has dropped his weapon. He's dealing them mighty blows with his fists as they bear him down underwater.

Apollo watches for a moment, and then dives in. You can see him rebuke one of the sea monsters, and shortly he returns, bearing a waterlogged Artemis in his arms.

HUZZAH

You are now aware that Dionysus kind of edges in on Poseidon's "God of Storms" thing.

>>16447009
But SUDDENLY, from behind him, you see a golden glint in the water...

>>16447009
>Dionysus watches for a moment
FTFY... I think.

Also, remind Dio to not just stand there and expect the sea monsters to win. Use vines to help them, or get Apollo drunk or something.

>>16447020
DAMMIT warn him!

>>16447051
Yeah, I messed that up, thanks.

>>16447020
Yo dio, think he might be ok. Turn around NOW

>>16447061
Not just turn around, MOVE!

>>16447009

Tell him he's about to be attacked and to instaturn the water into wine, then using his control of wine to force the entire like up Apollo's nostrils, down his throat, into his lungs, whatever.

>>16447055
>>16447051
Dionysus sends vines into the water and wraps them around the sea monsters and Apollo. A few moments later, Apollo has burst out in a great flash, evaporating water with the heat of the sun,k creating lots of steam...but for some reason, the audience can still see clearly. You have warned Dionysus and Artemis; they are well prepared.

Apollo literally crawls out of the water, heaving from sheer exhaustion, which is totally strange for him, dripping with seaweed and sea monster blood and salt water and non-victory. He makes on more great lunge and runs smack into a huge oak tree Artemis was saving energy to spontaneously generate. He falls, and retches helplessly.

His pride has been destroyed for the present, that is for certain.

Artemis disappears again. Soon you see, emerging from the mist, a nymph of extraordinary beauty. She approaches Apollo, stroking his cheek softly and whispering to him. For a moment, just for a moment, he falls for it. As he comes back to his senses, he takes three more arrows to the chest and Artemis springs back, abandoning her guise and making him look even dumber.

Still, he is not the tireless sun god for nothing. From here, the match is reduced to a lot of drawn-out shooting, tripping, and bludgeoning, and neither side seems to win, until Zeus himself finally calls it a draw after about 16 hours.

Well. That went better than you could have hoped for. Sylvia smiles warmly at you, and Apollo's cleric leaves in a hurry. Poseidon's cleric thunders on about that being a proper marvel to anyone listening.

>>16447102
Oh, missed that one. So, what I said before, but also Apollo is staggering around drunkenly the whole time.

>>16447108
FUCK. YEAH.

Have a huge grin on our face, and smile back to Sylvia. We should wave our wife over if she's close. Also for now, some small talk with Sylvia about how everything went.

>>16447145
Your wife's behind you looking very dazed about something.

Sylvia seems more than willing to chat.
"That was AWESOME!" she squeals, before calming down and resuming a more clericly tone.

Zeus, she's like, 19 or something.

Dionysus seems to be retaining a residual empathic link with you and is obviously feeling very good about how things turned out. Vines are growing all over the audience boxes and spewing wine/dropping grapes everywhere.

>>16447174
Tell wife we met a cleric of Demeter, she should go talk to her about Demeter stuff. Then get allied cleric wasted and get on Artemis' bad side. Again.

>>16447174
Mental brofist with Dio.
Also, ask the wife what's wrong, with a worried look on our face.

>>16447237
>>16447225
"N-nothing!" your wife stammers, blushing deeply.

You mention that the lady she's been standing beside is the cleric of Demeter. They start talking. Apparently the cleric is actually aware of her existence already. You bring the pretty young thing down by where Dionysus and Artemis are celebrating...oh.

He seems to be rolling about in a fountain of wine. Well that's not unusual. Oh dear, seems she is as well.

The goddess of bitchy feminist elitism, chastity, and generally being frosty is rolling around in a wine fountain with the god of wine.

>YOU GREECE'D

>>16447269
Manly, approving nod to our broiety, then find somewhere more private to try and channel our god's power, if you catch my drift.

>>16447329
I suppose you've earned it through sheer, dogged single-mindedness.

You leave Athens a lecherous, cheating bastard; but damn it was worth it! Sucks for Artemis' cleric though, she'll surely be fired.

Your wife doesn't seem to notice anything is off at all. She's drunk still, and positively glowing.

No, no, she's actually glowing a little bit, radiating natural sunlight, as it were. She's speaking in short sentences and is generally just kind of out of it.

Head home right away?

>>16447269
Oh well... I guess we can't be a cleric of the one true god of partying if we don't participate?
The wife will be mad...
Anyway, get drunk, brofist Dio, have an awesome time, and show these little girls how to PARTY!

>>16447364
That bitch. Slept with the douchbag sun god. Ferret away that nugget of info for when she goes all crazy on us again.

Go home, and check out that sword we forgot about!

>>16447364
Well... we do still kind of need to tell her about that new nymph, I think? Seems like a good time, she probably won't even care right now...
Sunlight, huh? Is there some god who just got his ass whooped doing shenanigans with us? Try to... investigate. Somehow.

>>16447395
She TOTALLY got in line for a charge out of his Sunrod. I planned this from the start, knowing you'd go for Sylvia if you could in any way.

>>16447403
Yeah, about that by the way, you get home and...oh look a field of vines. With some vigntering and nicely places poles, this could be a huge-ass vineyard that takes up the whole field. Is that mass in the center where our house was? Oh my, it's THICK with vines. And look, all six of the nymphs are there waving to welcome us back...

Six?

(btw internet totally died for a sec there, so if I just disappear for more than ten minutes, I may be gone for good. Will be making another thread at 6 tomorrow, barring unforeseen events.)

>>16447459
Oh holy crap, what have we done...
On the other hand, it's kinda useful, as long as we can still get inside, and the wife really can't complain right now, having just cheated on us and not knowing we cheated right back. So what the hell.
I guess ask the nymphs what happened, why they're all here.

Oh, also make a mental note: "Destroy Apollo."
Done.

>>16447459
Well our relationship with our wife has taken an odd turn but at least she can't bitch about us cheating so that's nice. We are a cleric of Dionysus so living in a vineyard ain't all that bad and we got more nymphs, SCORE!! Lets say hi to our pile of nymphs and tell them we love what they've done with the place.

>>16447511
They reply that the other two came looking for the eldest, and now they all live here as long as that's okay, and that while you were gone they were able to employ their nature magic in peace without your wife interfering and threatening them and such, and they've endeavored to improve your vineyard.

Your house now has vines growing out of all of the wood in it, but is intact. It's totally full of vines right now though. Also your coatroom now has a pool of wine a few feet deep dripping from special vines...epic temple entrance.

The sword's still there in the stone, vines are wrapped around it now though.

>>16447555
We now have the single most bitching pad in Greece, lets have a party to celebrate and invite whoever we can.

>>16447555
Lets pull that sword out of the stone and proclaim ourselves king and the nymphs our serfs

Cast Identify on the sword. Then go machete on the house to make it usable as a house.

>>16447589
There are actually curious onlookers already.
You get a pre-programmed message from Apollo:
"Hey, free wine to anyone who comes to our temple."
So you let the guests wallow and party all they like in the coat room.

The sword will not seem to budge at all. You see some writing in an alphabet you cannot understand, since it doesn't exist yet, since Rome doesn't exist yet.

"He who pulls this sword from this stone will be crowned King of England."

You have no way of knowing it, but no one short of Kronos himself can help you with the sword.

>>16447602
Pleasant Female Voiceover In Your Head:
"ΕΨκαλιβυρ"

>>16447627
Mixed up Apollo and Dio again?
Apollo is the one we need to destroy.
Anyway, party hard I guess?

>>16447699
damnitikeepdoingthat

Over the next few days, things go well.
Your wife seems less...shall we say...intimately interested in you, but on the up side she doesn't seem to mind when you, or even really care how you, interact with the nymphs.

Random people are staggering into your temple and lying around drunk for a while before leaving, full of praise for Apollo, and Tiberius and his sons stopped by for a visit themselves, increasing your WIS to 8 by the by.

Well, this is usually about when my net dies.
Anything to ask?

Also go ahead and make another move.
I'll read it from the archive tomorrow morning, if nothing else.

>>16447728
We need to get back at Apollo somehow

>>16447794
Yes. Yes, we do. Get with his sister or something, or humiliate him publicly.

Anyway, I don't think there's much we can do right now... everything is going nicely, No mysterious things to investigate...

>>16447728
And you did it again.

>>16447834
>>16447794
Guess who his sister is? Wait I told you guys this...right?

(Net really going to hell, first reply failed)

So, want to contact Apollo for help with getting back?

>>16447848
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

>>16447850
AND AGAIN
*DIONYSUS DIONYSUS DIONYSUS

>>16447850
Yes yes, we know it's Artemis.
Also, archived:
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=WoodsQuest

>>16447850
Not sure if we should contact him about this yet, surely even he would tell us fighting a god this way, especially one as powerful as Apollo, is stupid?
We'll get our chance. Some day, when he's least expecting it.