Here's the cliff-notes version of the story so far: Inquisitor Rightina Immam (Ordo Hereticus) visited the Aprior Sector in mid-M41, after the Sector came back into contact with the Imperium after being incommunicando for some thirteen hundred years. Since the Knights Inductor are a chapter of Reasonable Marines, she saw heresy, heresy everywhere (although the Apriori were careful to hide anything that actually violated a written law). She reported as such to the special panel assembled to discuss the Aprior Sector, but Recongregators at the hearing managed to forestall an actual Crusade; instead, Rightina got sent back to the Sector to conduct a more thorough evaluation. So far, Rightina has:

*Seen a Public Service Announcement about Chaos (which alarmed her to no end).
*Visited a school, where she saw how the Apriori include civil defense training as a part of their public education program (which she liked).
*Visited the Aprior Sector's Primary Workshop, where she met Artisan Zora, who explained how and why Apriori tech-priests reverse-engineer xenotechnology and depart from the STC canon, and Adept Underminer, a former Tau Earth Caste Engineer, and learned why he left the Tau Empire.
*Visited the Panopticon, headquarters of Aprior Sector Internal Security (“ASIS”), where she learned how ASIS treats heretics and mutants, and met Gordon, a former cultist of Tzeentch, and Ardi, a Reasonable Daemonette (whom she initially tried to kill). She also learned of Da Green Shadow, Norn Queen Adelind, and the Exodite World of Lida.
*Visited the Torch, Fortress-Monastery of the Knights Inductor, where she met Librarian Alex Ilon and Silencer Ryan Ornus (and saw Sister Silmarwen from afar), and saw the unique joint-training program employed by the Aprior Sector Armed Forces.

Now, Alex is about to give Rightina a lesson on the history of the Knights Inductor.

And without further ado...maybe we can bring back the light!

Alex brought Rightina and Harald to a massive archway in the wall of the Torch's main cavern. “Our chapel is through here,” he explained.

The chapel was dimly lit cavern, with a vaulted ceiling that was almost too high for the light to reach. Again, the chapel was relatively spartan, compared to the ostentatious cathedrals typical of most Imperial worlds, or even other Space Marine Chapters. As Rightina's eyes adjusted to the darkness, she could see red lights in the walls. Most of them were within a foot or two of the ground, but here and there, a column of lights stretched up to the ceiling. “What do those lights mean?”

“They are a history of our Chapter, told in casualties. Each column stands for one of our campaigns, and the height represents the number of lives lost – it's a logarithmic scale, so when the height increases by a foot, the number of casualties is multiplied by ten, or so.”

“So, that column by the door back there – call it seven feet tall – represents –” Rightina wracked her brain – “ten million losses – from what? There aren't that many Marines in the galaxy, let alone your Chapter.”

“Not our losses; they stand for losses from the forces which fought beside us, and the civilian populations whom we sought to protect. Every day, every Aspirant, Marine, and Sister passes through this hall at least twice, and they're reminded that, when we falter, people die.”

Rightina swallowed. “And you memorialize all of them here...” Few Chapters thought twice about the civilians whom they protected and armed forces with whom they cooperated; how many forced themselves to remember the casualties which had occurred on their watch twice a day, every day? “I don't think I've heard of anyone else who takes them so seriously.”

Alex snorted. “Of course not – as long as you uphold the status quo, you can always claim that your actions are justified in the long run, no matter how many deaths you cause. We don't evaluate methods by that measure; instead, we strive to minimize collateral damage, like we learned from the Salamanders. And in that respect, Inquisitor, we've had some pretty spectacular failures.” He turned to the column that Rightina had first indicated. “Take this one, for example; it stands for Jemax, our Chapter's first independent operation, in 010.M37. Jemax is – or was, perhaps – a hive world with several munitions manufactora, and at the time, there was an opposition movement fermenting among the workers; the Imperial Guard needed those guns, so we were sent to keep them flowing.” He paused, deep in thought. “Now that I think about it, we have pacified a lot of mining or manufacturing worlds with large, oppressed populations. Maybe the Imperium should consider a different industrial model?” Alex shrugged, and continued.

“Anyway, we didn't handle public relations very well, and we were perhaps a little too heavy-handed in dealing with public disturbances, and so most of the populace, especially those who heard about us second- and third-hand, got convinced that siding with us would only result in trading one oppressor for another. We didn't pick up on that resentment until it was too late, and we found ourselves with a spate of riots. We would put out the riots in one hive segment, only to find that those riots had triggered more riots in other hive segments, and then we had to put them out, but we couldn't clamp down too hard, or we'd only make things worse! About a hundred thousand people died in the riots from crowd crush and the like, and millions more died from network disruption – food and other supplies weren't getting to where they were needed, with all the rioters wrecking everything. In the end, the riots fizzled out once people realized that they were only hurting themselves, and we did get things back on track, but it took us decades longer than it should have.”

“And the munitions? Those must have been disrupted, too.”

“Ah, yes, the munitions, the whole reason the Administratum wanted Jemax pacified in the first place! Turns out that the Regiments which Jemax supplied had been wiped out or folded into other Regiments about a century before. I'm still not sure whether this is a good thing or a bad thing – it's nice to know that, in the grand scheme of things, the Imperial war machine wasn't harmed by our inexperience, but I'm also bothered, and I'm sure that the Knights of that time were bothered, that all of those people died for nothing.” Alex shrugged again. “On the other hand, Jemax was destined for rebellion anyway, and if we hadn't cleaned it up, they would have been in the hands of someone who might have been more willing to inflict collateral damage, and we did learn a lot from the experience. We got much better at engaging with people, for one thing; we actually created the post of “Master of the Deal” to handle those tasks! We do other things a little differently, too – did you see the Legislative Assembly building?” Rightina nodded. “And there were people protesting in front of it, right?” Rightina nodded again. “We let them do that because, without some way to relieve pressure, popular resentment builds, and – well, we learned what happens next the hard way.”

Rightina noticed a pair of tall columns, further around the Chapel's wall, and very tightly packed together. “What do those columns stand for?” she asked.

Alex studied it for a moment, and frowned sharply. “The first one is the 404.M40 campaign on Archos; it's a world in this Sector, and they tried to pay off some pirates, and – well, first I need to explain a little about the Sector Charter. It's the document under which all of the worlds in this Sector were colonized, and we knew that, with the Warp turbulence making communications spotty, we couldn't have worlds relying on a central authority, so it doesn't actually require much Sector-level activity. Because of that, most worlds' internal affairs were entirely their own business, and therein laid the problem. Archos was free to do more or less what it pleased, so nobody else knew what they were doing, and even if they did know, there wasn't much they could do. Archos paid the pirates, which would be problematic enough, but then those pirates turned out to be Dark Eldar, and they wanted to be paid with young, living bodies.” Rightina's lip curled with disgust; she could see where this was going, and Alex nodded wearily. “Archos paid that tribute with some Guardsmen and Guardswomen, and some of their tributes had information on Archosian defenses; once the Dark Eldar had that, they infiltrated Archos, took control of the world, and started kidnapping the inhabitants. We stopped them, but millions of soldiers and civilians were killed...or worse.”

“We learned from that, though,” Harald interjected. “The Sector Charter was amended to slightly reduce a world's autonomy, by requiring that all dealings with outsiders, pirates and xenos included, be conducted by Sector-level authorities if they were available – and then, those Sector-level authorities were created. Aprior Sector Internal Security was founded to coordinate investigations into those outsiders and other possible threats to the Sector.”

“Then, the Aprior Sector Armed Forces – the Knights Inductor, Apriori Guard and PDF, and Battlefleet Aprior – founded the Aprior Sector Executive Council, to coordinate military responses to those threats,” Alex concluded. “They're not a policy-making body in the way that the Legislative Assembly is, and they aren't quite an executive body, like ASIS, but they help keep everyone on the same page, and make it easier for our forces to cooperate. It was their idea, for example, to integrate training the way that you saw today.” Alex paused, glancing at Harald. “These reforms led directly to the next event. Maybe you should talk about it, Harald?”

Harald grimaced, and nodded. “ASIS has extensive powers, but that's offset by transparency, public education, and press freedom – people know quite a lot about what we do and why, and they know even more about their planetary governments. The organizations are still powerful, but there are also many checks on them. This wasn't always the case, and we paid a heavy price for it.” Harald pointed to the next tall column of lights. “In the early 400s of M40, the Kobol Branch of AIS – especially their Director at the time, Janus Doscaras – decided that the Kobol government was too inefficient to adequately deal with the threats of the Fringe, and that they would run things better, so they used blackmail, shell corporations, and other covert methods to influence the public to grant themselves more power, leading up to a declaration of martial law in response to a 'clear and present danger' of heretics – one which was exaggerated at best, and wholly fabricated at worst. In any case, the people of Kobol thought it was real, and they became suspicious of each other, and then paranoid. Anyone could be accused of heresy for just about any reason, and imprisoned without trial – or even made to disappear.”

Huzzah!

Sounds neat.

Are all of the other parts on 1d4chan?

>>16191383
>http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Return_of_the_Reasonable_Marines

“How's that worked out?”

Harald and Alex shared a glance. “Fairly well,” Harald finally declared. “Of late, we've been having increased contact with xenos, both hostile and friendly, and it's bringing some friction with it – it seems that old xenophobia dies hard. Less well-off worlds in particular are more suspicious and reactionary towards outsiders, and it seems that some Preachers from the Ecclesiarchy have been stirring up those feelings as we get more traffic with the Imperium. The world of Norion V was the worst of these; they're on the border of the Sector, so they're the first stop for many invaders, a convenient location for a Preacher looking for his first gig, and not located on any major trade routes. About four decades ago, after Hive Fleet Draco, the Zeist Campaign, contact with the Eldar of Lida, and the Green Shadow arriving in-system, Norion V had an economic depression thanks to, among other things, some underhanded practices by off-world financial institutions; those factors created a perfect storm which resulted in a tremendous increase in the power of the Puritan Preachers. Finally, one of them, Joachim Urian, attained the post of Pontifex Mundus, and he started preaching violence against 'anyone who threatened the dominance of mankind,' and...you heard what happened next, when we saw the ASLA building. As I said, it was resolved peacefully, for the most part, but Redemptionist mobs did riot in several immigrant neighborhoods, and there were some who talked of seceding from the Sector Charter.”

I like. It is a shame that the sector will be purged

The transition between scenes sometimes feel a little clunky, like you're just telling us what happened rather then giving us a real sense of change

Ah, also I think that the paragraphs of exposition could be broken up a little with character action like "He picked up the glass and sighed," or something like that. Other then that, this looks pretty good.

Is this just fluff on the Reasonable Marines, or do you plan to make this a full fledged story?
Any idea on an antagonist?

Why is this not in first page, this will not stand.

Also, been waiting forever for another episode of Reasonable Marines, I'm not good enough for constructive literacy inputs so I'll just bump it right here.

>>16191501

Don't give up on the Sector just yet!

>>16191506

I didn't put any scene transitions in this Chapter -- unless you're talking about Return of the Reasonable Marines in general?

I do see what you mean about breaking up walls of exposition.

I guess that Return of the Reasonable Marines is pretty much a bunch of exposition about the Aprior Sector, but it is part of a larger story -- Inquisitor Lord Damnos (Rightina's mentor) knows of the Aprior Sector, and he's got a Crusade on the way. He's got some Imperial Fists on board, and some Grey Knights, Angry Marines, Marines Malevolent...he's not looking to take the Sector; he intends to smash it.

"From Darkness, Light" (tentative title) will be a sequel to this story. It will start when Inquisitor Lord Damnos's Crusade Fleet arrives, and cover the initial attempts to divert him, and then a couple of battles with him, and then several other threats (possibly including but not limited to the Dark Eldar, the Tau, some Necrons) decide that, with the Apriori busy dealing with Damnos and company, the time is ripe for them to strike as well. Damnos decides to postpone the Crusade to help the Apriori fight off these other threats, and I'm not sure how it will go from there -- once the threats are ended, it may be that the Crusade is largely spent, and so Damnos calls it off, or maybe he decides that, since the Sector is on the edge of the Imperium (further out than the Tau Empire, actually), and they've clearly got their act together (he's going to see them in action), the Imperium is better off with them than without. Or maybe Damnos gets overruled -- the Knights have been working with sympathetic Inquisitors, and Apriori IG, Navy, and Space Marine units are exceptionally well-trained, especially when it comes to working with other armed forces, and so they are quite valuable to the Inquisition, and thus too valuable to destroy.

>>16191954

Phew.

The other story idea I've got is "The Defense of Lida," which will take place about eighty years before this story does; in it, an Emperor's Children Strike Cruiser threatens the Exodite World of Lida, and the Aprior Sector lends a hand to the Eldar there. Long story short, they part ways amicably, and in "From Darkness, Light," some Lidan Eldar lend a hand to the Aprior Sector (not sure exactly what capacity). I will likely write this story first.

Beyond that, I've got a bunch of short-story ideas buzzing around in my head, just little slices of life around the Sector (some of which will illustrate the events discussed in this chapter).

>>16191706
I'm glad you like it!

>GORKY ideskin

>>16191954
What I meant was that you often have long uninterrupted blocks of text consisting of one character explaining something. It gets a little monotonous to get talked at, even in text form, so I would recommend you break that up by narrating the actions the exposting character makes as they talk.

Also transition between scenes just seems a little abrupt, is just what I meant

>>16193597

I'm still writing, don't worry!

>>16193624

Mmm. Make the expositor a little more active.

Have you read Chapters 5 and 6? Are they more to your liking? I ask because, in those chapters, Rightina's being taken on a tour around a facility, while here, she's in the chapel (i.e. static).

Now that I think about it, the original concept I had for this chapter was that the red lights would be in the hallway leading to the chapel. Maybe I could expand the lights, put little explanatory plaques and pict-casts by the columns, make a sort of "hall of history"...inject dynamic activity that way.

I'm also curious, what do y'all think about the content of the chapter? My intent was to explain why the Knights Inductor do things the way they do, and show that they're not infallible (but capable of self-improvement).

Shameless self bump.

Also, here's what I'm thinking. I'm not entirely satisfied with "Return of the Reasonable Marines" for several reasons: as >>16193624 said, getting talked at isn't a lot of fun, and I feel like I'm doing a lot of telling and not much showing.

So, I think I may end up replacing "Return of the Reasonable Marines" with a different story, tentatively entitled "Further Investigations into the Aprior Sector," which will be sort of like a text-only Xenology. Instead of having people talk at her, Rightina will go through various records (pict-recordings from Knight Inductor helm-recorders, transcripts of speeches, technical data and blueprints interpreted by her tech-priest aide, all accessed via her Inquisitorial Mandate). The primary sources will be annotated with her commentary (and commentary by members of her retinue, like the aforementioned tech-priest). The point of this (fairly extensive) style shift would be that she (and we) will get to see events "as they happen," which should cure wall-of-text-itis and telling-not-showing-itis.

What do you all think?

>>16197124
I dunno, I kinda like the whole guided tour thing you've got going atm.

>>16197613
Well, I've only got another chapter to go (The Inquisitor's Report), plus an epilogue (The Inquisitor Lord's Crusade), so I'm definitely going to finish this story. Then, I'll decide if I want to write "Further Investigations" (basically the same story, in a different style).

Then, I've got a bunch of ideas I want to put down on paper (metaphorically speaking), which may take some time. However, they should be more active and less expository (which, now that I think about it, is not a style in which I usually write, but we'll see how that turns out).

One last shameless self bump before bedtime. If the thread's still alive tomorrow, I'll answer any questions/comments left overnight, and will likely have Chapter Ten: The Inquisitor's Report ready by tomorrow afternoon!

>fragments iotelys

I wonder... how does one know which page this particular thread is residing now? Before one bumped it of course.

Not sure, other than combing through each page (although, in general, you've got seven to twelve hours before a thread drops from the front page to the back).

Of course, now this thread is on the front page!

>police: offeredn

I wonder if Captcha is in trouble for something...

Shameless self bump -- almost done!

In her decades (or centuries, depending on how one counted time spent in the Warp) of service to the Inquisition, Rightina had faced Chaos-worshipers, Genestealer hybrids, and deviant Imperial Cults, and had exterminated each without second thoughts. Never before had so many lives ridden on her actions: her report would determine the fate of not just one world, but over two hundred worlds and a trillion and a half humans, not to mention the myriad xenos that the Aprior Sector contained.

Had she been asked about the Aprior Sector a year before, she would have answered immediately: exterminate them. Even if their actions were taken without malice (unlikely, in her opinion at the time), showing any mercy to the enemy was a recipe for disaster. Losing a Sector was bad enough, but allowing the enemy such a foothold could be devastating to the Imperium as well.

But from what she had seen, things were not so simple. The Aprior Sector was hardly in danger of falling to any of the enemies of Mankind – indeed, if a few of their policies were adopted in a few key Sectors, the Imperium would be better off for it! Rightina's brain whirled a mile a minute as she imagined the possibilities.

What if the Scholae Progenia and a few Space Marine Chapters implemented a joint training program? Would the Damocles Crusade have been more successful with a more cohesive force?

What if a few Forge Worlds developed novel patterns of old STC designs that were no longer dependent on archeotechnology? Imperial Guard Armored Regiments were chronically under-strength, but a truly mass-producible tank could turn that around. Even if the new patterns were inferior to the designs of the Ancients, surely that could be compensated for through superior numbers?

What if interstellar travelers were required to be genetically screened upon arrival? What if every Imperial citizen were screened for mutation? How many Tyranid invasions and Chaos cults could have been averted with proper vigilance?

Of course, cooperating with xenos (even if they had sworn allegiance to the God-Emperor) was out of the question, and she would have to handle that part of her report with extreme care, but surely the Aprior Sector's good policies outweighed the bad? Rightina resolved to convince her superiors of this.

She was shaken from her thoughts by a chime from her dataslate: Chapter Master Randi had sent her a message.

“Inquisitor Rightina, I am told that you are writing your report on our Sector. When you are finished, I would welcome an opportunity to meet you and discuss your findings. We knew that we would face a reckoning for our choices, and have some plans for dealing with objections, but we would appreciate your input.”

Rightina had to laugh at the absurdity of the request – she had arrived in the Sector expecting to find heresy, and now, having found it, the most powerful man in the Sector wanted her help in justifying it to the Inquisition!

…

In the hours and minutes leading up to the meeting, Rightina found herself plagued by doubt. Of course, the Chapter Master had the defense of humanity as his goal, but would the other Inquisitors see it? Even if they did, the Aprior Sector was not like any other: it had a Space Marine Chapter in residence, and, more importantly, it had been built from the ground up with its present state in mind. Most Sectors in the Imperium had neither of these luxuries. Would other Inquisitors decide that the risk of a world getting an idea for which it was unprepared was too high to permit the Aprior Sector to survive? Would they decide that, for all their good points, the Apriori were just too far from the status quo?

“We could easily have kept you from seeing our, shall we say, unique practices,” Randi explained. “Harald is quite adept at giving Tau spies the runaround, and we had initially thought to do the same to you. It was actually Darren's idea to show you everything – to force you to confront your preconceived notions with the reality that we have created. Of course,” he admitted, “we can't do this for every Puritan in the galaxy; that's why I asked to meet you. What can we do to convince outsiders that we are loyal?”

Rightina shrugged. “Honestly, I don't think my report will sway anyone to either side – your allies already believe in your methods, and your enemies won't accept your results. No, what you need to do is make yourselves *valuable*. I'll do what I can to help ASIS liaise with the Inquisition, because I'm sure you have information that they can use; you must have studied Genestealer Hybrids as much as the rest of the Imperium put together, for one thing.”

“ASIS can arrange to give you an official post with them, if that will increase the legitimacy of this endeavor,” Randi offered.

Rightina nodded gratefully. “I look forward to working on it. Speaking of the Inquisition, I know some Inquisitors who would kill to have Deathwatch Marines with the innate Warp resistance that you have; I suspect that many of your critics would be willing to look the other way if you lent the Ordo Xenos a few of your battle-brothers, especially a Silencer or two.” Rightina glanced at her dataslate. “I recall that there was also concern about the unusual size of your Chapter, and your force integration and joint training programs. If you launched a few Crusade Fleets, that would spread you out and cause those concerned to calm down.”

Randi leaned forward eagerly, as he considered what a Crusade Fleet could accomplish. “We could do that, and send some Imperial Guard and Navy units with them, too – show off how powerful an integrated force is!”

Rightina grinned. “While you're at it, you could use those fleets to spread your genetic screening program – that was actually your only policy that got a majority approval, so you need to play that up as much as possible.”

“And public education, too? Imagine – every Imperial citizen standing vigil against the enemies of humanity!”

Rightina's enthusiasm abruptly plummeted. “About that,” she warned, “I feel that it could be useful for supplementing Imperial Guard training programs, but there are extremely powerful parties who object to any public knowledge of Chaos whatsoever.”

“Other Inquisitors?”

“And the Grey Knights. They are deadly serious about keeping the threat of Chaos a secret from Imperial citizenry, and when my report reaches them, they will undoubtedly react with force.”

“Funny you should mention the Grey Knights,” Randi mused, “because reports have just come in that there's been a bit of a shake-up in their leadership – in the Inquisition, too, for that matter.” Randi picked up a dataslate from his desk. “It seems that the Emperor objected to many of their policies, including their, shall we say, zealous protection of their secrecy.”

“And how did the Emperor make His displeasure known?”

“Very directly,” Randi explained, and he read from the dataslate: “'YOU KILLED HONEST, UNTAINTED CITIZENS AND SOLDIERS OF MY IMPERIUM BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT PRESERVING YOUR OWN SECRECY WAS MORE IMPORTANT. YOUR ARROGANCE AT ASSUMING THAT THE GREY KNIGHTS SHOULD REMAIN A SECRET AFTER NINE THOUSAND YEARS OF COMBAT ACTIONS IS APPALLING.' This was said to Grand Master Draigo, by the Emperor Himself.” Even though Randi was merely a mortal, Rightina felt as if the words themselves had retained some echo of the Emperor's power.

Finally, she swallowed, and asked, “And how did He deliver such a message? I thought He was...incapable of speech, to say the least.”

“That is difficult to say, but it seems that He summoned a massive daemon before the Golden Throne and possessed it – I keep seeing the world 'Emperasque.'” Rightina stared, disbelieving. “I realize that this seems far-fetched, and it is possible that the reports have become distorted with each re-transmission, but every report is in agreement that the Emperor walks again.”

Rightina took the dataslate, and perused it. Rescuing an Eldar goddess, purging Cadia of daemonic taint, finding the still-living Primarchs – surely, none but the Emperor could accomplish such feats. Finally, she shrugged and said, “At least you won't have to worry about the Grey Knights torching the sector.”

Randi sighed. “We're out of the frying pan, but possibly into the fire – by all accounts, the Emperor has been dispensing judgment as He sets things right. We're not a high-priority zone right now, but I must assume that our time of judgment will come, and while I am sure He will be fair, we certainly have taken actions which violate the letter, if not the spirit of the Lex Imperialis.”

A gloomy silence descended upon the room, until Rightina forced a smile. “I guess we'll just have to work extra hard to convince Him that He needs us,” she suggested. “Unless you have any more questions, I'd hate to keep the Inquisition waiting.” Randi and Rightina stood and shook hands, and Rightina made the sign of the Aquila. “The Emperor Protects,” she declared.

“The Emperor Protects.” At least, Randi hoped He would.

…

After discussing her report with the Chapter Master, Rightina felt as if a weight had been lifted from her chest – all of the stress of anticipating his response and of second-guessing herself had evaporated. In fact, she had left the meeting in such high spirits that, when the maglev train she and Harald had taken smoothly decelerated to a halt, it took her a minute to realize that it wasn't her stop – the stop which would have taken them to the spaceport had been bypassed long ago. Rather than bustling with life as that terminal had been, this one was empty and sterile, decorated in the same style of the Panopticon. The gate was flanked by a squad of ASIS troopers, and when she turned back to face Harald, his expression was regretful, but resolute. “There's been a change of plans,” he said.

“I had figured that back-room executions weren't your style,” Rightina snapped.

“Your report has already been sent; killing you won't change that. We're here to take you into custody, and give you a choice.” Harald passed her a dataslate with an image of a fleet. Rightina recognized Battle Barges and Strike Cruisers from a dozen Chapters – the Black Templars, the Marines Malevolent, the Imperial Fists, and several vessels in the Angry Marines' red-on-yellow. At the center of the fleet was an Inquisitorial Cruiser, silver-on-black; its prow bore the unmistakable profile of the terrible Exterminatus weapons. The dataslate said “Command: unknown,” but there was no doubt in Rightina's mind: Inquisitor Lord Damnos was at the helm.

“He actually called a Crusade,” she whispered. “Even though the Panel vetoed the option!”

“One choice,” Harold continued, “is to remain a prisoner of Internal Security. You will be interrogated, but you will also be treated with the same respect given to all those under the care of ASIS.”

“And the alternative is to help you?”

“Yes, by volunteering information, or otherwise –”

“I want to talk to him,” Rightina interrupted.

Harald was taken aback. “I beg your pardon?”

“I want to talk to him,” Rightina insisted. “He's on extremely shaky ground, here – I've never known him to act against his fellow Inquisitors, and I may be able to convince him to abort the Crusade, or convert it into a quarantine, or otherwise spare the Sector. This fight will accomplish nothing but bloodshed, and there are far more deserving targets for his ire.”

Harald heaved a weary sigh. “For our sake, I hope you're right.” He motioned to the troopers, and they relaxed. “In that case, we need to get to the Torch. It's time to convene the Executive Council.”

*munch* *munch* *munch*

>>16207497
Alright! One is infinitely better than zero.

...so, what does that image mean? Boredom? Enjoyment? Curious minds want to know.

>>16207723

Sorry, that's me.

It's great.

The knights Inductor are my favorite of the /tg/ marine chapters. The Emperasque, all of it is /tg/ cannon, which is infinitely better than GW canon.

I love this thread, and getting the popcorn meant i was watching with great interest. So much so that I could not leave my seat for proper nutrition.

Though, actually, I did just leave my seat for food, Y'know, dinner and all. The husband called, and I had to go there, but, seriously. Write more. It's epic, and I'm glad you did write more.

>captcha World itspri

The Emperasque thing seems a bit out of place to me personally compared to everything else you've written.

Sorry for being away for so long.

>>16207871
Glad you like them!

>>16208038
What do you mean?

Its a good bit o' fluff but the Emperesque is as others have said a bit too much. The rest however is golden.

>>16209091
I think its because the Empraesque is a gamebreaker. Once he hears on what the Inquisition is doing, he'll just teleport on over there and *boom* no more conflict. No more war between the KI and the Inquisition.

>>16208038
>>16209091

>So, something more like this?

Rightina's enthusiasm abruptly plummeted. “About that,” she warned, “I feel that it could be useful for supplementing Imperial Guard training programs, but there are extremely powerful parties who object to any public knowledge of Chaos whatsoever.”

“Other Inquisitors?”

“And the Grey Knights. They are deadly serious about keeping the threat of Chaos a secret from Imperial citizenry, and when my report reaches them, they will undoubtedly react with force.” A gloomy silence descended upon the room, until Rightina forced a smile. “I guess we'll just have to work extra hard to convince Him that He needs us,” she suggested. “Unless you have any more questions, I'd hate to keep the Inquisition waiting.” Randi and Rightina stood and shook hands, and Rightina made the sign of the Aquila. “The Emperor Protects,” she declared.

“The Emperor Protects.” At least, Randi hoped He would.

>>16209229
Fair nuff

>>16207458
>>16207463
OH
EM
FUKIN
SQUEEEEE

So, two in favor of the Emperasque, two opposed.

Honestly, I kind of like the shout-out; one reason that I have for including it is because of an idea I'm kicking around for how Inquisitor Lord Damnos's crusade will turn out.

Basically, Damnos starts Exterminatusing planets (he's not interested in taking territory -- let's face it, the edge of the galaxy is not prime real estate -- he wants to destroy). The Apriori have means to evacuate a lot of the less-populated worlds, and they have extensive orbital and planetary defenses around their most populous worlds, which forces Task Force Dagger to make expensive ground assaults to destroy them before the Exterminatus fleet can move in, which not only cuts down Dagger, but also gives more time for evacuations. However, Damnos eventually gets enough sabotage teams running around that ASIS can't catch them all, and he is able to destroy a highly-populated world before evacuation can commence. Ten billion deaths sets off a big flash in the Warp (especially from the relatively barren Eastern Fringe), which attracts the Emperasque's attention ("Didn't I say they were supposed to stop Exterminatusing worlds?"). He investigates, finds that Damnos just executed a world that was in no imminent danger of massive heresy ("WAS A DAEMONIC INCURSION IN PROGRESS? WERE THEY REBELLING? NO!" "But [they were doing heretical stuff, because Reasonable Marines]" "I WILL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT. IN ANY CASE, THERE WAS NO NEED TO DESTROY THEM."), and has the remaining Marines go somewhere more important while he judges the Aprior Sector.

This leads to "Tales from the Aprior Sector: The Emperasque's Verdict." I may end up literally tacking that short story on as an epilogue.

>>16209883
Annnnd, that's the plot for the sequel to "Return of the Reasonable Marines," in my head, at the moment. There might be interludes where the Apriori deal with multiple, simultaneous, and devastating deep threats, like the Tau Empire, or the Tyranids, or the Dark Eldar, or whatever, but that's where the overall plot arc is going.

Thoughts? I mean, ultimately, I am the author, but what's the point in writing stuff that nobody likes?

>>16209883
Whoa, whoa, no, I'm not in favor of the Emperasque solving this.

Think about it. It makes no sense. The Emperasque flies around solving problems. Your characters are immediately and irrevocably weakened if mine solve their problems no matter how it happens.

I'm just saying it's cool to see Biggie get featured in the story. In THIS story. Maybe a gaiden?

The Reasonable Marines Return!
Yayifications!
I am pleased, and you are talented.
Huzzah!

OK.

Let me clarify that. SCENARIO:
The Emperasque hears about this whole internal Crusade from something. A disturbance in the Warp, a set of loose lips in Ordo Hereticus, whatever. And he goes out there to investigate. He finds Inquisitors bombing the shit out of his own worlds. A necessary evil, sometimes, sure, but...what is this? The people there are of an inquisitive nature, are willing and able to fight the enemies of the Imperium, were judged by another inquisitor to be not heretical to an unacceptable degree, and the crusaders are killing innocents for no truly justifiable reason? The Emperasque would teleport in and slap Damnos upside the head. Especially since the Imperium reverse-engineers xeno tech all the time, even the Inquisition (as covered extensively in the Grey Knights Codex, the second third of the Cain novels, and the development of Mk. 7 power armor).

What kind of story is that? It's not a Reasonable Marines story any more. It's an Emperasque story.

I kind of regret handling the Inquisition and Armageddon the way I did in the Tales. It made the Emperor seem like he was being a hypocrite for yelling at the Knights and the Inquisition for killing humans when he did that all the time. He wasn't mad at them for killing humans, he was mad at them for killing humans for knowing about daemons and the Knights. I think people got the wrong idea.

>>16207489
>Playing Advance Wars with /v/
>Not LongPoster thread on /tg/

Today is a good day. Will give feedback after reading

>>16210237
For what it's worth I see baseline level of hypocrisy as being core to what the Emperor is.
Men must die that Man may live.
An empire of atheism built on the backs of godlings created with the aid of insane gods.
Knowing the truth about the Warp, and hence knowing that the Dark Age of Science was going to end in calamity for mankind -and letting it happen anyway.
No, no...that the Emperasque would be hypocritical and unsubtle is entirely in line with his normal operating measures imo.
And for what it's worth I like the Eldar showing a little genuine deference. With Isha returned their entire race may have a chance at a genuine revival.
At that price a little sincere respect should've been bought.
And hey, a little Isha/Emperasque rule 34 would be ok, too -guess I'm just wrong like that.

>>16209915
Mmm, good point. This is why I post here.

Since Rightina's already had the "sees the Aprior Sector and decides it's okay" plot happen to her, it would be rather dull for Damnos to do the same, so I suppose that leaves the war of attrition -- in which case, the Aprior Sector basically wins through endurance. They whittle the Dagger Fleet down with last stands over worlds being destroyed (forcing him to destroy orbital and ground defenses before closing in for the kill, for example), until they have the Crusade fleet small enough to be engaged directly, where it is destroyed. I'm not sure as yet how it will end for Damnos. On one hand, he could justifiably die, since he's basically murdered a dozen planets, and a few hundred billion humans (not to mention the Imperial-aligned xenos who fall along the way). On the other, I see some poetic justice in him seeing his crusade fail before his eyes (especially as he is going to be only one of several threats to the Aprior Sector -- so, not only did he fail to destroy them, he failed to destroy them as they were busy dealing with other threats), and then get denied the satisfaction of dying for the Emperor. (This may lead to a later scene where the Emperasque says "INQUISITOR, I AM DISAPPOINT.")

>>16210286

Ok read it. Firstly

>Finally, she shrugged

The EMPEROR HIMSELF HAS MANIFESTED AND IS KICKING ARSE AND TAKING NAMES, ITS THE GODDAMN SECOND COMING. AND THE RESPONSE IS SHRUGGING? WTF#%$(*%@(*$

All round solid. Continuing to enjoy and looking forward to it.

You know I've been thinking about the unlikelihood of an Inquisitor seeing the light? But then I realised what makes it work. Its the hope. Sure terrans and others are always skirting the rules, but life is shit, and breaking them always goes wrong just as much as it goes right. But the reasonable marines have brought hope in the grim darkness of the 40th millenium. When you can hope that something can go right, the whole grimdark inquisitorial shit goes out the window.

Ahem....

Anyway with the whole emperorasque thing. Put me a vote against it. Here's the thing. To paraphrase one writer, the first rule of fanfiction is to keep your challenges balanced. If you make Frodo a Jedi Sauron has to get a Death Star. This is the number one difference between good, page turning, tense, fiction, and mary sue and / or wish fulfillment fics. (I accept that Knights Inductor is wish fulfillment but they need stout challenges to knock over so we can all cheer

...Continued


If we have an emperorasque running about, he *can* exist, but he *cannot* help the main cast - he needs to be engaged in some sort of ridiculously outnumbered battle that keeps him offstage (fighting the Chaos gods? My knowledge of 40K canon is p shit). The only help the reasonable marines can expect is indirect affects - ie the emperor's return has thrown the conservative wing of the imperium in to disarray, and a new wave of hope and optimism for the future is coming in - just the environment the Knights Inductor need to be able survive in a stagnating imperium.

In general I think you're not sure what you want to do with your writing - on the one hand, this is a guided tour kind of thing we've got going - solid worldbuilding, but you are burning through your best content really really fast, which is a bit of a waste. On the other hand, you probably aren't in the mood to write detailed giant stories for each major event in the Knights Inductor history.

As it is, we've mostly finished this arc, so lets move to the payoff. You've given us a good world, we know how they run shit. Now give us our combat porn. I want massive battles between angry, blind, tacticless combat of the angry marines vs the precision of the reasonable marines. I want to see them storming into buildings to find them full of traps, misdirection, long ranger snipers, the fucking lot.

Of course we can't let it go full blown so at some point, reasonable marines style the fighting is cut short with a diplomatic solution (or perhaps while the angry marines focus on chasing a chapter that isn't there, the reasonable marines have taken then flagship with a boarding team and captured the leaders - again, I don't actually play 40k here, so take my advice and knowledge of canon with a grain of salt).

>>16210862
I hear ya (and Someone Else, above) about the Emperasque's presence in the Sector proper -- I guess he's funnier as a background event (every now and then, you hear about some epic feat that he's accomplished, like chewing out the Grand Master of the Grey Knights).

As for Rightina's reaction, I suppose I could handle that a little more smoothly, but honestly, what can she do about the rise of the Emperasque aside from accepting it and moving on? (maybe "Trying to find a bright side to the situation, she said...")

Regarding challenges to the Sector, have no fear, they're facing an uphill battle -- Inquisitor Damnos chose the best rip-n-tear, Puritan Space Marines he could get his hands on, and there are many factions who want to see the Sector fall -- the Tau Empire, the Dark Eldar Kabal of the Hand of Fate (the Aprior Sector is their traditional hunting ground, and recently, the Apriori put the hurt on them using a trap, and now they want revenge), some evil Necrons, and maybe others, too. I'm also going to be focusing on the "little guys" some -- Apriori Guard and PDF, defector Tau, and civilians -- to make the power disparity clear.

>hope
You said it better than I did, when Harald got asked why he consorts with xenos as part of his ASIS job. He was a little more long-winded about it, but that's basically what drives the Apriori.

Hmm, I can imagine a good scene where that contrast shows up -- some verbal sparring between a Knight and an Imperial Fist, for example, where the Knight argues that hope is always feasible, while the Imperial Fist takes a rather more depressed, almost nihilistic view ("How can you agree with this campaign of destruction? Can you not see a better way?" "After a thousand battles, one only sees death!" "Death, or a reason to make a better future?")

>>16210901
>background events
Hoo boy. That's one major reason I really want to overhaul Chapter Nine -- instead of having Alex and Harald talk at her in the chapel at the Torch, I had the idea that maybe the Knights have a "Hall of History" with each engagement, starting with the Kronos VI crusade and running up to the present day, represented in a little alcove. Each alcove has a column of lights beside it (logarithmic representation of civilian and allied casualties), and inside, has relevant primary and secondary sources, like mission recordings, speeches, after-action reports, and so on.

Take Jemax, the Knights' first independent action, as an example. Rather than have Alex tell her why the people of Jemax rioted against the Knights, she could actually see a video of the instigator, telling his listeners "They come from the stars to enforce the will of our masters! They claim that they want us to be satisfied, and then they stifle discourse with shock mauls and gas. They are not liberators -- they are subjugators in another form. I say, may the Warp take them all!" Followed by images of the riots, and *then* Alex interjects that the riots finally stopped when the Jemaxians realized that they were only hurting themselves by rioting.

More activity, more immersion, less wall-o-text.

It's late at night (early in the morning) for me, and I really need to go, but if this thread's alive tomorrow, I'll see if I can clean up my timeline of important historical events in the Sector and show it to you.

I just wnat to say that I love you
That is all

Keeping it alive.

>>16214023
Stayin' Aliiiiiiiiiive!

Alright! It's timeline time!

A very long time ago: “Tales from the Aprior Sector: The End of a Species,” in which Elliot flees the former Necrontyr Empire, and backs up his personality to a computer on Thanatos. His wife's soul is taken from her body by the Deceiver. Very much subject to change, depending what the new Necron codex has to say.

…

M31: The colony ship “Icarus” is launched to probe the furthest reaches of the galaxy; the early-generation Warp drive is unable to handle the turbulence at the edge of the Astronomican's reach, so they are forced to make an unplanned Realspace transition, which leaves them damaged and unable to continue, which, in turn, forces them to make an emergency landing on the nearest planet (what turns out to be Aprior). The Icarus was built to run lean, so the emergency strains their resources to their ultimate limits, leading to infighting among the colonists, and eventually civil war; they fall into an uneasy truce as they become aware of the threats of the Eastern Fringe, but are unable to unite. New arrivals (the occasional Explorator, a Sororitas Missionary Fleet, other colony ships that got lost) bring new technology and some stability, but for the next nine millennia, the world of Aprior is little more than a barely Civilized World forever on the brink of collapse.

…

Early M36: The Twenty-First (“Cursed”) Founding is held, in which the Knights Inductor are founded, using geneseed from the Desert Fangs (“Angry Marines”) which has been modified to restore the Warp resistance property. The Warp resistance works perfectly, at the cost of the Omophagea and hypnotherapy; as other side-effects, the Knights Inductor are extremely level-headed under fire, but they seem to lack the proper hatred for the enemies of the Imperium. To harden their hearts, they are sent to put down a rebellion on the hive world of Kronos VI. There, they encounter and are mentored by Captain Carolus Norys, of the Salamanders Second Company. The Knights learn the art of conflict resolution, and decide to model themselves after the Salamanders, by making the protection of Imperial citizens their highest priority, no matter what actions they have to take.

The Age of Apostasy and Reign of Blood begin when High Lord Goge Vandire becomes the head of the Administratum and the Ecclesiarchy, and the Imperium is wracked with turmoil under his tyranny. The Knights Inductor resolve to include decentralization and democratization in their reform programs, as it is clear that, when one man (or one group of men) wields great power, he is inevitably corrupted.

010.M37: The Knights Inductor perform their first independent action, pacifying the borderline-rebellious hive world of Jemax. Their hands-off approach and focus on maintaining order results in resentment among the populace, which eventually erupts into a series of riots. These riots require decades to resolve, with millions of lives lost through the direct violence and resultant transit network disruption. The Knights realize that they were too aloof and isolated; they create the post of “Master of the Deal” to handle negotiations and diplomacy, and future pacification efforts include more leeway for civilian discourse and liaisons with the Knights, so that the Knights can identify and address popular grievances before they boil over.

495.M37: A Chaos cult takes control of the world of Nescio, and the Knights Inductor are the first force to respond. To their surprise, the cult has little to no knowledge of Chaos, lacking even the names of the Dark Gods – their rituals are little more than communal sessions which tap the emotions of the Ruinous Powers in a formalized manner, while summoned daemons handle the sorcery.

…

There's a lot of room in here for more events, but in general, the Knights' crusade takes them out towards the Eastern Fringe.

…

109.M39: Genestealers from Hive Fleet Colossus invade and subvert the world of Erewhon, and the Knights Inductor fleet is the closest Space Marine detachment available; their First Company destroys the Brood and evacuates the remaining populace. A postmortem genetic analysis of the corpses reveals extensive alterations from human baseline; when the refugees are examined, no less than two thousand latent infected are detected, of whom approximately one in ten were caught early enough to be cured. The Knights resolve to implement frequent genetic screening programs in worlds which they reform.

Mid M39: The Adepta Sororitas Order of the Sacred Rose launches several Missionary Fleets to bring the light of the God-Emperor to the furthest reaches of the galaxy. One fleet stumbles on the Aprior Sector, and settles the Marion system.

977.M39: Dark Eldar Kabal of the Hand of Fate raids the Sororitas Convent on Dvi-Marion, and kidnap several Sororitas Initiates before being repelled

978.M39: Eldar attempt to colonize the Maiden World of Chatur-Marion, where they are contested by the Aprior Commandery of the Order of the Sacred Rose. The Eldar are beaten off, but in the confusion, an infant is left behind; the Sister who recovers the infant had lost a child to the recent Dark Eldar raid, and is unable to bring herself to kill the infant; instead, it is raised as a Sister (later named “Silmarwen”).

244.M40: The Knights Inductor fleet enters the Aprior Sector, and begins to pacify and unify the world of Aprior Regius.

253.M40: The Warp turbulence around the Aprior Sector erupts into a full storm, preventing (Imperial) entry to or exit from the Sector. The Knights Inductor decide that, since they can't leave, and are in the unique position of being able to build a Sector from the ground up, they will apply their millennia of experience and build the Sector to be a model of their ideals.

254.M40: The Aprior Commandery of the Order of the Sacred Rose attempts to put the Sector to the torch, once they learn of the Knights' intentions; they are stopped on the world of Dvi-Marion, and reformed into the Order of Reason's Light.

261.M40: The first revision of the Aprior Sector Charter is written and ratified by the Regians, and under that document, the other worlds of the Aprior System are colonized over the next centuries.

404.M40: Over the course of several decades, the government of the world of Archos makes a deal with the Dark Eldar pirates endemic to the region, the Kabal of the Hand of Fate. The Hand of Fate demands living, young, and healthy tributes, which Archos supplies from their PDF. The Hand of Fate pumps their tributes for information, and eventually learns the secrets of Archos' defenses. Within the space of a few hours, all contact is lost with Archos, and when the Apriori Guard Regiments and Knights Inductor investigate, they realize that the Dark Eldar have taken Archos and begun to kidnap every human being on the planet. The Hand of Fate is repelled and Archos is recaptured, but millions of soldiers and civilians perish in the process, and millions more are taken back to Commorragh. Realizing that their central authority lacked the power to prevent such atrocities, the Apriori create Aprior Sector Internal Security, an organization similar in focus to the Inquisition, with the task of coordinating investigations of threats to the Sector. The Knights Inductor, Apriori Imperial Guard and PDF, and Battlefleet Aprior form the Aprior Sector Executive Council, an advisory body with the task of coordinating military responses to those threats. The Aprior Sector Charter is revised to slightly reduce the autonomy of individual worlds by requiring all dealings with outsiders to be conducted by Sector-level authorities.

472.M40: The Kobol Branch of ASIS, under Director Janus Doscaras, massively exceeds its authority, influencing the Kobol government through blackmail, establishing shell corporations to manipulate the public, and eventually instituting martial law in response to a “clear and present danger” of Chaos-backed rebellion. Kobol becomes fractious as people are driven to be deeply suspicious of each other, and in the ensuing mayhem and societal discord, Chaos-aligned forces are able to infiltrate Kobol and instigate a rebellion. Thanks to the ASEC and Sector loyalists on Kobol, the Sector-level response arrives in a more timely manner than it did to Archos, but hundreds of thousands still die due to violence and disruption before order is restored; the process of purging the forces of Chaos from Kobol takes many years more. The Apriori implement transparency measures to prevent one organization from gathering so much power, as well as expanding public education programs to include brief lessons on threats to the Imperium and civil defense training, so that Apriori citizens are better able to identify and deal with them without becoming paranoid.

Early-to-Mid M41: The Shadow in the Warp, advancing ahead of the approaching Tyranid Hive Fleets, dampens the Warp turbulence at the edge of the Astronomican's reach, restoring contact between the Imperium and the Aprior Sector over the period of a couple of decades.

506.M41: ASIS's experiments with treating heretics pay off, leading to the first apparently “cured” heretics. Upon departure from the Panopticon's warded zone, some of them are immediately possessed by daemons – their souls had, apparently, been marked somehow during their servitude to the Ruinous Powers. Five Silencers are required to halt the incursion; several dozen security personnel were killed or injured containing the involuntary daemonhosts until they arrived. From then on, captured heretics are confined indefinitely to warded zones.

572.M41: “An Investigation into the Heresy of the Reasonable Marines,” in which Inquisitor Rightina Immam is dispatched by the Conclave Astartum (of Ordo Hereticus) to investigate the Aprior Sector and report on what, if anything, has changed. She leaves with the distinct impression that the Apriori are hiding a lot.

742.M41: The Imperium launches the Damocles Crusade against the Tau Empire; three Companies of Knights Inductor and forty Regiments of the Apriori Imperial Guard join the Imperial forces. Several hundred Tau prisoners of war and defectors are taken back to the Aprior Sector, where they are surgically freed from Ethereal control and rehabilitated (for example, training the Fire Warriors to keep their violent instincts under control). In the Crusade's aftermath, the Tau commence their Second Phase Expansion, including the world of N'dras – which is abandoned shortly thereafter, for unclear reasons.

785-788.M41: Inquisitor Immam arrives at Nemesis Tessera to give her report to the Inquisitorial Panel Regarding the Knights Inductor and Aprior Sector. The verdict, due to bureaucratic inertia, and the fact that the Aprior Sector doesn't seem to be too much of a threat (compared to the many other known threats in the galaxy), is that the Sector and its Chapter are loyal, if unorthodox, and that Rightina should return to the Sector to keep further watch for irregularities. Monodominant Inquisitor Lord Avius Damnos is not convinced; he begins contacting allies to send a Crusade against the Aprior Sector, code-naming his Crusade Fleet “Task Force Dagger.” His need to operate secretly means that it will not mobilize for many decades or centuries.

898.M41: Ardi is summoned by a Slaaneshi cult on Aprior Secundus; upon learning that the cult practices human sacrifice, she blows the whistle on them to Aprior Internal Security. Some AIS agents become convinced that Ardi is evidence that the gods of Chaos have their positive sides, and that by worshiping those positive aspects, the galaxy will be put on a path to improvement. Those who go public with their plan are rejected; others continue their worship in secret, calling themselves the “Adepts of Unified Order,” leaving the Sector to spread their beliefs throughout the galaxy. A few tech-priests, two squads of Knights Inductor (re-naming themselves Knights Reductor), and a Regiment of Apriori Imperial Guard fall with them.

899.M41: Hive Fleet Gorgon invades the galaxy. The Apriori screening programs keep them mostly free of Genestealer cults, and so most of the Hive Fleet passes them by.

902.M41: The Apriori fail to destroy a Genestealer Cult on Tarquin Ventrus, which attracts a splinter of Gorgon, designated “Draco.” The fleet consumes the Blank gene, severing them from the Hive Mind. The warrior organisms starve without its overriding drive, and the Norn Queen becomes self-aware; the Librarius of the Knights Inductor establishes tentative psychic contact, designating the Norn Queen “Adelind.”

915.M41: Mining efforts on Thanatos uncover Elliot's record, triggering the reactivation sequence. Upon learning that the Necrons are active once again, Elliot immediately pledges his support to the Apriori, volunteering his understanding of Necron technology and xenogenetics. Very much subject to change, depending on the new Necron codex.

920.M41: “The Defense of Lida” (coming soon), in which Battlefleet Aprior detects the Emperor's Children Strike Cruiser “Circus of Envy” on an intercept course with the Eldar Exodite World of Lida. A stealthy RKV attack delays the vessel and leaves it without orbital attack capability, forcing the Strike Cruiser to make a ground assault. A rapid-response force consisting of Apriori PDF and a Knights Inductor leadership and diplomacy team is dispatched to render assistance to the Eldar defenders, while a strike team of Silencers neutralizes the ritual sites on the ground and on the Circus of Envy. The Eldar learn that they cannot scry the Silencers, which convinces them to consider closer cooperation with the Apriori in the future – a decision reinforced when their prognostications reveal that neither the Apriori nor the Lidans will survive the coming millennia on their own. They also give a cryptic warning to the Apriori: among other things, they will be beset by “daggers and hounds.”

951.M41: Da Green Shadow arrives in the Aprior Sector; they quickly take up residence in the eastern border, to take on the encroaching Tyranid forces.

964.M41: Over several decades, xenophobia and Puritanism increase throughout the Sector, stemming from contact with Tau refugees, the Eldar of Lida, Da Green Shadow, as well as lingering memories of Hive Fleet Draco, the Hand of Fate, and the Tau Empire, inflamed by Puritan Preachers immigrating into the Sector. This phenomenon is especially pronounced among the less economically well-off worlds, and when the Norion system suffers an economic depression, Puritan Preachers are buoyed to power. Matters come to a head when Joachim Urian, Pontifex Mundus of Norion V, limits his sanction to those Cults Imperial which support him (the Puritan sects), using the others as scapegoats for the social woes of the Imperium. Urian and his appointed Preachers advocate intolerance against 'anyone who threatens the dominance of mankind,' which included most advocates of Apriori social reforms and outsiders of any sort. Violence ensues, especially as Radical Preachers arrive from other planets and attempt to counter Urian's influence, which attracts the attention of the whole Sector, leading to hearings before the Aprior Sector Legislative Assembly; in the end, the Aprior Sector Charter is modified to have stronger protections for the individual, and Urian is relieved of his duties.

977.M41: In response to a string of daring raids by the Dark Eldar Kabal of the Hand of Fate, Battlefleet Aprior plants a false distress signal on a Q-ship, and disables the unsuspecting Dark Eldar fleet with an ambush. A Knight Inductor termination force (led by a Silencer strike team) infiltrates the stranded ships, annihilating the Dark Eldar aboard and rescuing several thousand prisoners.

“Tales from the Aprior Sector: Adaptations,” in which Sister Constance (a rescued prisoner of the Hand of Fate, transformed into an Eldar) is taken under Sister Silmarwen's wing, so that she can learn to care for and use her new form.

987.M41: A Genestealer Cult on Tarquin Ventrus is identified (thanks to a warning from Adelind) and destroyed, resulting in several infectees being captured.

994.M41: The Hunter Cadre “Doom Seekers” discovers ancient structures on the abandoned world of N'dras; this discovery prompts the Ethereal in charge to order the Cadre to kill itself, but, unexpectedly, they resist. Instead, the Cadre is marked for mind-wiping and re-conditioning.

999.M41: The Zeist Campaign; the Knights Inductor supply two Companies (equivalent to five or six Companies of most Chapters), and the Aprior Sector Imperial Guard sends twenty Regiments to hold territory behind the Space Marine spearhead. The campaign includes an attack on a Tau re-education camp, where the remnants of the Doom Seekers (among others) are imprisoned. The Apriori 223rd take as many prisoners as possible back to the Aprior Sector, where they are surgically liberated and rehabilitated. Fio'El Vral (or Underminer, as he came to be known) chooses to join the Aprior Sector Mechanicus.

000.M41: “Tales from the Aprior Sector: For The Greater Good” (coming soon), in which a former Fire Warrior learns that not all Apriori are in favor of tolerating xenos.

001.M42: “Return of the Reasonable Marines,” in which Inquisitor Rightina returns to the Aprior Sector for further investigation, on the orders of the Inquisitorial Panel Regarding the Knights Inductor and Aprior Sector. She finds extensive deviations from Imperial norms (to say the least), but is forced to confront the fact that the Apriori have been extremely successful; she eventually concludes that, while most of the Imperium is not ready for many Apriori policies, some policies would be extremely valuable if expanded to the whole Imperium, and that the Imperium is better off with the Sector than without.

“Tales from the Aprior Sector: Shadows in the Forest,” in which Da Green Shadow intercepts an Inquisitorial Stormtrooper team about to sabotage a munitions factory.

Early M42: “From Darkness, Light” (coming soon), the story of the Aprior Sector's darkest hour, being beset on all sides from the Tau Empire, the Necrons (pending the next Codex), the Dark Eldar, the forces of Chaos, and, of course, Inquisitor Damnos' Crusade. Fortunately, the Apriori's diplomacy has earned them several allies, including the Eldar of Lida, the Farsight Enclaves, friendly Necrons (pending the next Codex), and Inquisitor Rightina.

“Tales from the Aprior Sector: The Emperasque's Verdict,” in which the Emperasque delivers His verdict on the Aprior Sector. He disagrees with Inquisitor Rightina's conclusion at first, but upon being presented with a Unity-pattern Grav-Driver (specially modified so that He could wield it Himself), He warms to the idea.

>And that's where the timeline ends.

>I realize that Rightina is apparently alive both in 572.M41 and 001.M42, but if you assume that she spends most of that time in the Warp (not unreasonable, as Nemesis Tessera is near the Eye of Terror, while the Aprior Sector is beyond the Tau Empire and Ultramar; these locations are just about diametrically opposite from each other) then she only experiences 30 to 40 years (per Lexicanum, one day in the Warp is about equal to 12 days in Real-space). The four-hundred-plus-year gap also explains any discrepancies between “An Investigation into the Heresy of the Reasonable Marines” and “Return of the Reasonable Marines.”

Whatever else, that...that's one HELL of a timeline.
Gadzooks, man!
You've basically written more historical material then is common to most RPG supplements, and it's pretty damn good.
Pic related.

This needs archiving if it hasn't already been done so.

>>16215158
I'm shocked and awed. Seriously. You've put so much thought and effort into this that it would make Matt Ward turn blue.

>>16215346
It has been
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/16191331/
Vote it up

>>16215125
Just curious, who is Damnos bringing?

Grey Knights?
Black Templars?
Imperial Fists?
Desert Fangs?

>>16215066
I like this bit at 898.M41, it's a nice callback to some early instalment wierdness, the original archive is dead now, but I remember that the Reasonable Marines were first pitched as a Chaos force, this was understandably abandond in favor of making them a Loyalist force, this however explains how there could technicly be Chaos Reasonable Marines. (did I just write that?!) Plus it goes well with how I've always compared the warp to the river of slime from Ghostbusters 2.

>>16215719
>>16215158
Thanks for the support, guys; I figured, I like what I'm doing, so why not go the whole hog?

Now the challenge is to show my work in the stories, without being too blunt with it.

>>16215346
Somebody went ahead and archived it, so go and vote it up or down, according to your preference.

But! This thread isn't finished yet -- I've still got the Epilogue! It should be done tonight or tomorrow. After that, I'll see if I can't jazz up Chapter Nine.

Are Da Green Shadow Orks that the Apriori have somehow manages to distract with other enemies or something?

rolled 3, 16, 15, 14 = 48

>>16216123
A little like that. It's more like they protect the humans till there beg enough to give a really good fight.

>>16216123
>>16216721

Of course, they've been at this for fifty years or more, and humans (obviously) haven't gotten any bigger. Since Orks generally don't live long, they don't notice, but I'm not sure about Kaptin Feegul and some of his Nobs. Maybe they don't care because they're having too much fun krumping the nasties of the Eastern Fringe.

>>16217824
Indeed, in the even the Orks start to get bored the steady stream of the rest of the setting trying to trash the system should keep them entertained.

One last shameless self bump before bed -- I'll likely have the epilogue to "Return of the Reasonable Marines" up tomorrow, and then I'll see about reworking Chapter Nine so there's less wall-of-exposition.

Hasty morning bump!

Page 12? Hell no.

*BUMP for the BUMP GOD*

Light up the night! Love this stuff, only problem is the Empraesque, as it renders all WH40K fluff moot. I'd say, just let a powerful, mildly-Radical Inquisitor say "Nope. You're a fool." to the Grey Knight's Chapter Master. Or whatever, i just don't like the fact that no-one but the Emperor himself could say no to the Grey Knights. Or just set the scene for a awesome war, wherein the Grey Knights realize their faul... Oh who am I kidding, if this was "true" 40K, the GK would just raep the shit ever-loving shit out of the Apriori Sector... Thankfully it isn't, but if you could just keep the Emperor out of this (in any form!) I'd like it a lot more.

>>16226448
As I've said, I understand that concern, and on reflection, I agree. If the Emperasque appears, it will only be after the fighting has stopped.

One thing that maybe I didn't make clear enough is that Damnos has already launched his Crusade, and hasn't heard (or doesn't accept) the Emperor's directive that the Inquisition should tone down the "kill people who know daemons exist" thing. The Emperor's decree has not stopped him.

War is inevitable, as Damnos attacks, and then the Aprior Sector's other enemies pile in, since they figure that the Apriori will be in a position of weakness. The fighting will basically end through attrition -- Damnos will run out of ships and Marines, the Tau Empire will run out of Fire Warriors, the Tyranids will run out of biomass... it will be a long, bloody affair, but the Apriori will endure, and everybody's going to be awesome (in victory or in defeat) as they go.

Also, regarding the Grey Knights in particular; Damnos only has a few with him, and while they will kick ass and take names, at least some of them will meet their match against the Silencers.

>>16227085
I'm concerned that attrition should really be the Apriori style? Shouldn't they more go for decisive strikes to cut off command? A victory should be more the enemy has lots of shit left, but they've lost all their critical infrastructure, logistics and command chain and negotiation is looking pretty damn good now.

>>16228912
Some of the Sector's enemies will fall to such a strategy, and the Apriori will use such a strategy where they can (like the Tau Empire, now that I think about it) but Damnos won't -- he's basically got a blob of Strike Cruisers and Battle Barges, and he's going to go world by world and burn it. There's not much in the way of supply lines or infrastructure to attack.

There's not enough time to assemble a fleet big enough to challenge him (and even if there were, that would leave the Sector extremely vulnerable to other threats), but each world has its own small fleet and orbital defenses (ground- and space-based). So, the plan is to evacuate as much of the population as possible, while the orbital defenses hold off the Crusade fleet. Damnos can't risk losing his Exterminatus weapons, so he'll have to hold back his command vessel and the Battle Barges while his Strike Cruisers deal with the space-based defenses and deploy Marines to deal with the ground-based defenses. Both will triumph, and the world will be destroyed, but only at a hefty price. After a few such fighting retreats, the Crusade fleet will be small enough that the Apriori have enough fleet assets to spare from their other "fronts" (border w/ Tau Empire, etc.) that they can engage him directly. That will happen when the decimated Crusade Fleet reaches its next world, and then, when the defenses are gone, and the Inquisitor moves in for the kill, SUDDENLY, BATTLEFLEET APRIOR (possibly with allies), launching a cloud of boarding torpedoes (and regular torpedoes, and decoys) to put a stop to them.

Of course, Damnos knew that such a strategy might await him, so he sent saboteurs ahead of his fleet. Most of them got caught by ASIS (or, in "Shadows in the Forest," by Da Green Shadow), but a few managed to get in place, especially on the border systems (where the Knights Inductor have less influence, and the Imperium has more, thanks to their Preachers)...

>>16229393
I love the dynamic the Knights vs Knights conflict brings, they both have some of the best weapons and equipment available Grey Knights are an all Psyker force, Knights Inductor are currently the only chapter mobilizing Nulls/Blanks, Inductors are among the most human marines psycologicly, Grey's are basicly living weapons and nothing more. It will be epic.

>>16229770
>I feel like it could use some more polish, but I can't put my finger on why. Here goes...

Inquisitor Lord Avius Damnos, Ordo Hereticus, Conclave Astartum, had served the Imperium for more than two centuries (or more than six centuries, depending on how one considered the time he had spent in Warp travel). He had exterminated heretic cults worshiping Chaos, the Tyranids, and even the Necrons. On no fewer than two dozen occasions, he had borne the ultimate responsibility for choosing the fate of a world; six times, he had declared Exterminatus. Now, he found himself at the head of a Crusade Fleet bearing down on an entire Sector of two hundred worlds, with enough ammunition to burn them all to cinders, and four thousand Space Marines at his side.

From his advance teams' reports and Rightina's testimony at the Panel, he would need every resource he had brought. The Apriori were, for all their deviations and heresies, highly competent – the majority of his infiltrators had been captured, destroyed, or otherwise thwarted. Unfortunately for the Apriori, his crusaders were the best that the Imperium had to offer, and he had several aces up his sleeve, besides.

In the more than two hundred T-years since that damned Panel had decided against sending a Crusade to the Aprior Sector, he had worked in secret to assemble a Fleet of his own. Where a full Crusade was the Hammer of the Emperor, his would be a dagger in the back, a sudden, unstoppable strike to the heart. Without the Imperial Guard, he could move more quickly, and with less baggage to delay him, at the cost of being unable to hold territory.

Not that he cared. The Aprior Sector, barely within range of the Astronomican, was hardly worth conquering; he intended to destroy it.

Early on, he had felt some regret for going behind his fellow Inquisitors' backs, but the more he heard from his spies in the Aprior Sector, the more he became convinced that he was in the right. The Aprior Sector was too divergent – their mere existence would embolden the hearts of heretics, and give them hope that their foul plans could be implemented on a massive scale. No, an example had to be made of them, and when he was through, there would be two hundred glowing husks of worlds, an eternal monument to the rewards of sin.

His brooding was interrupted by his acolyte, Misha, who bore a dataslate. “Milord,” she announced, “we have received a message from Rightina Immam. It appears to be her report on the Aprior Sector.”

Damnos took the dataslate and decrypted it with his seal, and his fury and dread grew with every word. Clearly, the Apriori had been busy since the Panel had convened. As a young Acolyte, he had wondered if it was possible for anyone to commit every sort of heresy known to the Imperium, and they had pulled it off. Even worse, they seemed to have hoodwinked Rightina into helping them. “I had expected better of you,” he whispered sadly.

“Milord?” Misha asked, worriedly.

“Not you,” Damnos assured her. “Dismissed.” The acolyte bowed, turned on her heel, and left the Inquisitor Lord alone with his thoughts. Rightina's subversion would ordinarily cast her testimony into doubt, but his agents in the Sector had largely corroborated her testimony: the Apriori were highly technologically advanced, well-defended, and determined to defend their ways. They had apparently constructed a network of agencies and militias in order to fend off the many threats to their Sector, and with grudging respect, Damnos had to admit that they had held for nearly two millennia so far.

>>16230662
I like it, but...I don't know, something seems missing from Damnos, a fire of fury and righteousness.

Welp, one last shameless self bump before bedtime. I'll answer any comments left overnight when I come back in the morning.

I realize that I've made it to "the end," but I've still got some editing to do before I feel like it's done, especially Chapter Nine. I will likely have that up tomorrow for your perusal. Of course, feel free to chime in about what I've written (or what I'm going to write!), if you have any suggestions.

After that, I've been working on a document of all of the people, places, and important things (i.e. technologies) in the Aprior Sector -- short blurbs about each world, character, and artifact that has appeared so far. I'll put that up for your reading pleasure when I've got that all cleaned up.

>>16232091
Ya ninja'd me!

I think I know what you mean. I was trying to get a sort of Judge Frollo (the Disney character) thing going -- dedicated to his job and very much in control, until the end and all his plans unravel, of course, but I guess his motivation doesn't come through.

Maybe if I have him talking with someone, I can explore that. How's this for a quick sequence (next post):

>>16232291
>after Damnos reads the report with, I dunno, the captain of his vessel
[The captain] seemed confused. "I understand why a Sector with as much firepower and independence as this one has is dangerous, but I'm not clear on why we need to be out here -- they're addressing that, aren't they? Rightina said they're going to launch a half dozen or more crusade fleets, so they don't have as much power in one place."

Damnos glared sharply at [the captain]. "That is precisely what they CANNOT be allowed to do!" he snapped. "Don't you see? If we let them spread their tentacles into the Imperium, we'll never be rid of them! Every heretic in the galaxy will see them, and be inspired by them!" Damnos stood and started pacing around the room. "We must make an example of them -- show the heretic that their kind are not tolerated!" Damnos clenched his fist for emphasis. "And when we are finished, the light of two hundred burning husks will illuminate the Eastern Fringe, an eternal monument to the rewards of sin!" Damnos spread his arms wide and gazed upward, as if basking in the glow of the burning Sector. "Let us set the first torch," he hissed, and with that, he struck a rune on his cogitator console, aiming his ship's high-power vox-caster at the Norion System. "Team Alpha Four," he declared, the words streaking across the void, "your day of judgement is at hand! Prepare yourselves and your world to meet it. May the Emperor be with you, and may your souls go to His side." Striking the rune again, he turned to the Captain, his eyes blazing with manic energy. "Prepare your vessel, and have the rest of the fleet do the same. Within a fortnight, Norion shall burn!"

>the end

Okay, for real this time, going to bed. See you all tomorrow.

I dunno...Damnos better pick his planets wisely, because if he hits the cultist detox, the demonic possession will probably draw attention of many other warp-related issues and force him to deal with that first.

>>16232297
Yeah, that does get across Damnos' religious fanaticism better. I like it better.

Shameless afternoon self bump -- working on the revision to the Epilogue, with more fervor from Damnos!

Still writing...

>>16239777
Woot!
Standing by, with a bump.

>>16239777
Waiting patiently

In another life, Captain Ariel Landris had been a courier, with one rule: as long as the customer paid, and stayed out of trouble on her ship, she didn't ask them any questions. The Inquisition was not pleased to learn this when they wanted information on her cargo, and she would undoubtedly have met with some pernicious fate, had it not been for an Inquisitor Lord stepping forward to reveal that she had ferried him and his retinue on several occasions. Instead, she was “volunteered” to serve the Inquisitorial Fleet, where her discretion about her missions would be an asset instead of a liability.

Of course, this mission was not a shuttle run, or even the typical one-and-done Exterminatus action. Landris was the captain of the flagship of a Crusade of over fifty vessels, which, on its own, suggested something well beyond the ordinary, and she had never seen torpedoes as large as the ones she had taken on at Nemesis Tessera. Her years of experience at quashing her curiosity had kept her from cracking under the strain of uncertainty, but at long last, Inquisitor Lord Damnos had seen fit to explain to her just what she would be doing.

“Captain Landris,” Damnos began, “I must warn you that the mission on which you are about to embark will be a severe trial of your soul. Make no mistake; we are entering the den of sin.” He passed her a dataslate. “Further details on the Aprior Sector are contained here, but the pertinent facts are these: the Apriori have fallen far from the light of the Emperor in their isolation, and in their apostasy, they have committed every form of heresy imaginable.” Landris felt herself inhale sharply, and Damnos nodded gravely. “Indeed. Cooperating with xenos, trafficking with the worshipers of the Ruinous Powers, debasing Imperial institutions into mockeries of their true purposes, oh yes.”

“And we're to take it back?” Landris asked.

Damnos shook his head, his face a cold, impassive mask. “No. This Sector is too far out to be of service to the Emperor, and I could never accumulate enough Guardsmen to hold so many worlds. We will burn it all.”

“Not enough Guardsmen – but you managed to acquire ten Battle Barges and forty Strike Cruisers!”

“Yes, and it has taken me many decades to do so. Furthermore, a Space Marine Chapter is a law unto itself, for better or for worse, and nobody will question a Brother-Captain who decides to bring the Emperor's light to the ends of the galaxy, while Imperial Guard Regiments have much more...baggage.” Damnos scowled at the dataslate. “I would need the backing of many other Inquisitors to obtain the Imperial Guard's support, and somehow, the Apriori have managed to deflect or subvert every official investigation of their activities.”

Landris swallowed, and took the dataslate. “Shall I read this, then?”

Damnos nodded shortly. “The details may be of value to you when the time comes for an attack, but the summaries will suffice for the moment.”

Landris read the summaries of Rightina's first report, the Panel's discussion, and Rightina's most recent report, and was astounded by the reversal in tone that Rightina had undergone – clearly, these Apriori were extremely persuasive in person. At first, Landris was puzzled by Damnos's consternation; the Apriori policies on captured heretics and xenos were unorthodox in the extreme, but they still had matters very much under control. Then, Landris read between the lines, and realized that the Apriori were all but independent of Imperial support, even with the many threats of the Eastern Fringe. Landris had never been particularly bothered by matters of faith, but in her years as a courier (Inquisitorial and otherwise), she had seen what could happen on a world that thought it needed no Imperial support; the rebellion of a whole Sector would prove devastating. Still, had Rightina not explained how the Aprior Sector would prove its worth to the Imperium? They certainly hadn't taken any rebellious actions yet. Landris decided to ask the Inquisitor Lord. “I understand why a Sector with as much firepower and independence as this one has can be dangerous, but I'm not clear on why we need to be out here – they're addressing that, aren't they? Rightina said they're going to launch a half dozen or more crusade fleets, so they don't have as much power in one place.”

Damnos fixed her with a glare. “That is precisely what they CANNOT be allowed to do!” he snapped. “Don't you see? If we let them spread their tentacles into the Imperium, we'll never be rid of them! Every heretic in the galaxy will see them, and be inspired by them!” Damnos stood and started pacing around the room. “We must make an example of them – show the heretic that their kind are not tolerated!” Damnos clenched his fist for emphasis. “And when we are finished, the light of two hundred burning husks will illuminate the Eastern Fringe, an eternal monument to the rewards of sin!” Damnos spread his arms wide and gazed upward, as if basking in the glow of the burning Sector. “Let us light the first torch,” he hissed, and with that, he struck a rune on his cogitator console, aiming his ship's high-power vox-caster at the Norion System. “Team Alpha Four,” he declared, the words streaking across the void, “your day of judgement is at hand! Prepare yourselves and your world to meet it. May the Emperor be with you, and may your souls go to His side.” Striking the rune again, he turned to the Captain, his eyes blazing with manic energy. “Prepare your vessel, and have the rest of the fleet do the same. Within a fortnight, Norion shall burn!”

>The End

>U like? U mad? I can only improve by your feedback.

...hopeful two-hour bump?

I'll see about having a revised Chapter Nine up tomorrow (even though I said that yesterday, and the day before...), and then I'm working on a sort of "who's who" of the Aprior Sector.

>>16242138
I'm looking forward to it.

bump