That tome he’s referring to sort of contains the secrets to the now-lost art of golem-crafting, and we’re pretty sure that giving that sort of power to an already deity-like creature is less than the best thing to do. We turn around and start to run, when another balor FUCKING DROPS FROM THE SKY and lands not twenty feet in front of us.

“YOU SEE, CREATURES OF BLOOD AND BONE? THERE IS NO ESCAPE. YOUR LIVES ARE FORF-“

He would have continued gloating, though the LARGEST FROST GIANT WE’VE EVER SEEN runs out from behind a boulder and bisects the balor with a single slash from his axe. We didn’t see this one back at their camp, but help is always nice when you’re completely outclassed and outnumbered. He barrels right through the party, knocking most of us over, and throws himself at Demogorgon while shouting “FLEE, TINY ONES!”

Not wasting any more time, we all run back towards the icy wastes, with some of the demons breaking off to give chase. Even if all of us fought just one of them, it would most likely be the end of us, so we take another route through the glacial plains; an evergreen forest to the west, which won’t delay our travels too much, and will also get us away from most of the demons.

o7 Frost Giant

After entering the forest, we decide it would be best to split up, since combat against these things would be futile anyway. I, being a cat AND our rogue, am given the golem-crafting tomes. All of them. If I’m caught, it’s going to be a bad day to be a celestial… or anyone who doesn’t agree with Demogorgon’s agenda. We all scatter, and before long, each of us has a demon on our tail. In my case, though, there’s three; a glabrezu and two mariliths.

You know what’s nice about being a cat? Cats can climb things REALLY damn fast. These evergreens, with their trunks covered in ice, high-friction-coefficient bark, are perfect for climbing. The demons are huge and relatively slow, and I’m fairly sure that they aren’t exactly parkour specialists, so I’m being sort of a smug bastard at this point.

I pass a climb check with ease, and scamper up a nearby spruce tree. I would have been out of trouble right there and then, though there were two factors present that I failed to predict. First, one of the demons made a very high spot check, and I failed miserably on my hide roll. Second, THE MARILITHS BEGAN SLITHERING UP THE TREES.

At this point, I’m jumping from tree to tree, and the Mariliths are making attacks on me whenever they get the chance. Here’s where the DM decided to be a nice guy: Due to the nature of the combat they’ve engaged in (trying to hit a cat jumping from tree to tree), I get a Reflex save against any successful attacks against me. If I pass, I take no damage. If I fail, I make another Reflex save, or fall to the ground below. As a cat AND a rogue, I have a particularly nice Reflex save bonus.

The other party members are able to escape the forest safely (except for the cleric, who took half his hitpoints in damage from a fall off a cliff he failed to see), and ALL the demons are now after me. Let’s get this in perspective: Five mariliths, a balor, and a glabrezu are now trying to murder me thirty different ways, and I’ve nearly failed my second reflex save once or twice. As I’m nearing the party, the dice decide ‘HEY, FUCK THIS GUY’, and I take a hit from a marilith that drops me down into the snow. I’ve got about 10 hitpoints left, but, being a cat, I take no damage from a fall of such a small height.

I manage to escape a grapple from the balor, as well as the glabrezu. I’m faster than them, but there’s no way I can avoid attacks and grapples forever. Then, the Cleric, that glorious bastard, saves my ass by casting Summon Monster IV, bringing in a Celestial Lion to distract the demons. It only holds them up for one round of combat, but that was all I needed to get out of there.

We set off across the frozen plains once more, when suddenly, we hear this unholy screaming coming from the forest. There’s nothing there to make the screaming except for the demons. We assume it’s Demogorgon punishing his subordinates for failing to catch us, though we couldn’t have been more wrong. We see this giant figure sprinting at us from the forest, so we’re shitting ourselves once again. We try to run, but it’s easily faster than any of us.

It comes into clearer view, and we see it’s that huge Frost giant from earlier. Except it isn’t just a Frost giant. “DO NOT FEAR ME, LITTLE ONES!” he declares. “FOR THE ENEMY OF MY ENEMY IS MY FRIEND… for now.”

This is Thrym, the deity of the Frost Giants. As it turns out, Demogorgon has been making moves on all sorts of ancient artifacts in a bid for power, and the Fire giants have been supporting him. Sure, Thrym is a dick, but so long as he’s not here to axe us to pieces, we won’t have an issue (we hope). He’s kind enough to heal me and the cleric, and proceeds to vanish into thin air.

So, now we’re involved in some kind of war between gods. Perfect.

We trudge onwards towards B’rden, and travel through the rest of the day without incident. At about 10 miles away, we stop and rest. No encounters through the night. We get up, and gear up for the last stretch of the trip.

Surprisingly enough, we make that last leg of our journey without meeting a single soul. Nothing stands in our path, though we’re all cautious as fuck. We get to the city gates, and enter. The Mage Tower is just down the avenue; we can see it. We let our guard down for just a moment, and disaster struck. The DM told me to make an escape artist check, and I failed.

‘A young woman(who looks to be about twenty-ish) comes along, and scoops up the rogue. Try as he may, he can’t escape her grasp. “Oh, another kitty!” she coos, and dashes off into an alleyway.’

Dammit. I have the tomes on me, so the party has to give chase. Apparently, this lady has levels in rogue, because she pulls all kinds of crazy wall-climbing and rope-swinging stunts, outrunning the party in just a few minutes. She slips into a disused warehouse… and it’s full of cats. She sets me on the floor, and says “Go play, Mr. Kitty!”.

Apparently, she saw nothing odd about the fact that I was wearing cat-armor, and was yelling at her the whole way here. I ask the DM about that, and he tells me to make a spot check, which I succeed on. I notice that she’s got this blank stare in her eyes, and she seems to be moving in an odd, stiff fashion.

I still think "Cat - A Little Game About Little Heroes" is a better setting than DnD.

An old woman hobbles into the room, and pinches the rogue-girl’s cheeks like she’s her grandchild. Then she walks over to me, and stares at me funny. “You don’t smell like a real cat, and you don’t move like a real cat. What are you?” she asks, not looking too happy. I tell her that I’m actually a human stuck in this form, but before she can respond, the party busts through the door and our Monk snaps her neck. They were taking no risks here.

Almost instantly, a change seems to come over the rogue-woman, and she runs up and starts thanking us. That old woman had mentally enslaved her for two years, forcing her to abduct cats. I spoke with the DM later, and it turned out that that was supposed to be a much harder fight; she was a level 9 sorcerer, and he hadn’t expected our Wizard to use scrying to find me.

Another friend of mine walks into the room, laptop in hand; she was joining our group as a level 8 ranger; the girl we just saved. None of us had realized that the DM had been typing away at his own laptop during this time, telling her what was going on over Skype. We find all her equipment in a back room of the warehouse, and set out to the mage tower one last time.

Oh man, I thought you were dead. Proceed.

We get stopped by the guard at the front door, who laughs at our explanation as to why we should be let in. Before we can protest, the doors fly open, knocking the guard down on his stupid ass. The Archmage of the tower apologizes for his stupidity, and invites us in. We discover that he’s been searching for the secrets to golem-crafting for his entire life, and he offers us the healthy sum of 25,000 gold for the tomes we now possess.

Obviously, we aren’t going to turn this offer down, and I mage-hand him the things we just risked our hides over multiple times. We explain how we came upon it, and what we went through to get it, and he adds another 5,000 gold to our total. He offered to double our sum if we gave him the golem-ring, but I wanted to keep that; it was too handy to sell.

We finish our transaction, and breathe a sigh of relief; that damned tome is no longer in our hands. Before we can celebrate, though, we hear an explosion outside. Everyone rushes to a window to see three balors rushing down the avenue from the now-broken main gate, directly towards the mage tower.

Til next time, /tg/.

>>15884635

Thanks for the update man.

>>15884666

No problem.

>>15884548

We started in DnD. I had no idea I'd be turned into a cat.

>>15884540

And now your cat nature is being used as a quest hook.

The transformation is complete.

>>15884573
What did a lvl 9 Sorceror need cats for?

>>15884877

She was a stereotypical crazy cat lady, but with magic. She didn't need them for anything.

>>15884635
Best stories I ever get to read.

I can't wait for more! I demand more Cat-Rogue!