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  • File : 1311127545.jpg-(142 KB, 600x600, fttech.jpg)
    142 KB Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:05 No.15640568  
    "Nearly a century after first contact, we had come to realize what we humans were.

    We were not warriors. There were other beings who have proved far stronger than us, both physically and in ways of war. Aliens who had cultures based on martial prowess and destructive natures.

    We were not diplomats. There where xenos a thousand times greater than us at that. Empaths and telepaths who could read the thoughts of others and understand alien concepts within mere hours.

    We were engineers.

    We were the architects of the galaxy. Innovators and creators who could design great machines of limitless potential.

    Even before our race reached sentience we began to learn to use the nature tools around us. Soon, we began complicating them. Creating new tools and by merging the knowledge of old ones together. We took the fruits of our own planet and forged them into wonders of our own design.

    Once we had analyzed our entire world, learned everything about it and built everything possible from it we set off to construct more machines. We soon grew artificial wings made from the scraps of the earth, and soared into the unknown. All for the purpose of having new tools to compose and new information to analyze.

    We are the galaxy's analysts, and now after learning nearly everything about our galaxy, we have finally learned what we are.

    We are engineers."
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:08 No.15640592
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    Fuck yeah.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:09 No.15640604
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:10 No.15640616
    More H:FY?

    Well at least it's not bragging about how "HUMENS ARE AWESUM CAUSE WE KILL EVERYTHING INCLUDE OURSELVES".
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:11 No.15640633
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    >humans are creators
    You know if this an idea I can get behind. We are at our most awesome when we're building or learning about how to build something.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:12 No.15640638
    Yeah man fuck dem aliens, lets analyze their insides.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:13 No.15640646
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    So we're the Ad-Mech?
    Fuck yeah indeed.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:15 No.15640679
    Actually, I think its less 'H: FY' and perhaps the basis for a pretty cool setting.

    We're not the fastest or the strongest or the smartest but we have something that makes us unique. We might not be the strongest, but we can build something to compensate for that. We might not be the fastest, but we can fine tune our creations to get there. We might not be the smartest but our massive knowlage bases can give us unique insight.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:16 No.15640681
    >Well we dumped his intestines in a Plutonian corn field after learning they could be used as compost in cold-temperature planets, are currently studying the mold-like properties of his heart and had his kidneys turned into a USB key.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:16 No.15640687

    Actually i believe the term is "necrons in the making"
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:17 No.15640693

    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:17 No.15640694
    >humies ITT
    >all about innovation
    >all about preservation and searching for lost tech

    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:17 No.15640697
    >We might not be the smartest but our AI units compensate for it

    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:19 No.15640702
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    Can i haz robot servant?
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:19 No.15640708
    So humans are gnomes.

    At least in the D&D sense. Crazy contraptions, etc.

    I like the concept as humans as the mercenary race of the galaxy better, I guess.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:22 No.15640739
    Wait, so wikipedia at some point becomes sentient and will happily provide us with information in exchange for new information?

    Actually.....that sounds neat. Each planet has its own version, ships have small need-to-know versions, and they all want knowledge. Thus, a number of our interstellar wars have been over information that one planet has that the others don't.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:22 No.15640740
    "Sir. The Klingons are bringing their weapons to bear. What are we going to do?" The ensign spoke with her voice trembling. Picard would smile ever so slightly and would lean back in his chair. He had no fear for the might of the Klingons. Hell, he'd gone through dealing with the Borg and had survived that. This ship had nothing on him. "REverse the deflector shield and channel a tachyon pulse through it, then engage at warp 9, before dropping right back out into normal space. That should get their shields to drop, teleport an explosive charge to the bridge. Make it so."

    Ahh. Shitty write faggotry. My contribution to this thread.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:25 No.15640770
    God dammit, OP.

    God fucking damn it.

    Earlier today I spent hours typing up a whole spiel about how the hat of humanity was extremism, how we could always be counted on to go furthest possible extent that physics allow on any issue. How that, every time an ideological argument pops up, humanity can be seen arguing for both sides, with their fervor even outmatching their ideas' originators. How that every time a riot against the government is suppressed in Erru space, a policeman there will shoot dozens of human protesters, only to get messages congratulating him on his upholding of law and order, from creatures that appear no different to him from those he saw in his sights mere days before.

    Then my computer crashes.

    Then, first thing I see after I reboot my 'puter and /tg/ is someone who got there ahead of me with his own writefaggotry about humans being engineers. Not to disrespect some quality writefagging, but still...
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:25 No.15640772
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    Am I the only one who thinks that we won't even need to war properly anymore? As engineers all we'll need to do is sent our battlebots and warmachines while we sit in a floating chair far away pressing buttons now and then.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:27 No.15640785
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    >aliens attack humanity
    >unleash the robots
    >see the terminators beat the shit out of the aliens

    "Fucking xenos"
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:28 No.15640795
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:28 No.15640801
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    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:30 No.15640823
    Or just send a nano bomb that eats up their infrastructure.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:30 No.15640824
    Engineers and creators? Seems to me like we'd be damned good precursor race.

    You know, before we all go extinct via mysterious means and all that is left behind our are overly-complicated shiny toys nobody knows how to use.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:30 No.15640825
    Makes me think that very few aliens have ever seen an actual human. Since all sapient species are better than us in some way, and we compensate for our weaknesses with technology, "normal" humans don't usually deal with others. For war, we have war-bots, guiding AIs, and the brains of ancient generals hooked up to those AIs. For diplomacy, we have androids, AIs, and databases chock full of all the information available on any particular species. We rely on our tools whenever possible, and our tools are now so sophisticated that they interact with everyone for us.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:34 No.15640857
    A Humanity: Fuck Yeah! concept which I can actually feel proud of? INCONCEIVABLE!
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:39 No.15640901

    fucking this! there's never been a sci-fi story, at least to my knowledge where humans are the mysterious creator race. Maybe the reason why we can't find any intelligent life out there is because were the first to gain sentience in the universe.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:39 No.15640903
    I'd like it better if we just advanced to a higher state of being, uplifted and left to make room for other species, or just dicked around and are hiding to watch the other species.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:40 No.15640909
    >"Captain, a vessel of unidentified origin is approaching us. What do we do?"
    >"Get the probes ready. It's time to do some analyzing."
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:41 No.15640920
    Maybe these stories describe how we got to that point.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:41 No.15640924
    And then Shepard banged an alien
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:42 No.15640939

    The Vorlons?
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:42 No.15640940
    So like the Forerunners from the Halo universe?
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:43 No.15640945
    This might be a technicality, but the Ancients from Stargate were human.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:43 No.15640951
    Or they I never can remember their name. Is like the race from lovecraft that can time travel with their minds
    >> Engineer Guy 07/19/11(Tue)22:44 No.15640958
    Fuck yeah.

    But what about GENETIC engineering? That's fun too.

    I could see humans as being the only ones with their biological sciences being applied to more than medicine and crops.

    Better living through science.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:45 No.15640960
    Hey look buddy, I'm a Homo Sapien, and that means I solve problems.

    Not problems like "What is beauty?" because that would fall under the jurisdiction of your race's philosophers.

    I solve practical problems. For instance, "How am I gonna stop these bugs from munching up all of our colonies?"

    The answer to that one? Build a turret. If that don't work? build a wall of turrets, in space.

    Like this, 40cm combi-plasma/lance self constructing mark 5.

    Designed by us, built by us, and you best hope.... not pointed at you.

    >entirety of the transmission sent from Sigint-765f (Terra) to empire space post-kitrak invasion after the senate sent an offer of aid
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:46 No.15640967

    Personally, I think that if aliens ever did visit us, it was hundreds if not thousands of years ago, and they took one look at us and went "...Nope", and never returned.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:47 No.15640977
    Anyone have that story about the aliens who have a message from humanity dropped all around their planet? the pillars say something like "Don't worry about space, we'll protect you till you get up here."
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:48 No.15640986
    "So, exactly why do everyone consider humans to be the ultimate engineers?"
    "Uh, a couple thousand years after we gained sapience we began building piramids that are still standing. What about you Vurlook being the ultimate warriors?"
    "Oh, we've had about seven world wars, of which five were nuclear."
    "No, building a stone building the size of a nuclear silo with only your dick and some mud. That's hardcore."
    "I drink to that, my friend."
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:48 No.15640988
    I think so too, and you know what?


    In fact, when we get to space and take over the universe with our superior technology, we will FUCK them in their ASSHOLES.

    Because fuck them, that's why.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:48 No.15640989
    You know, I imagine being extremely knowledgeable and having robots do all our work would turn us into the dicks of galaxy after a while.
    >What did the humans do to our kindred on Gh'eavhaz?
    >Well after "borrowing" a few specimens and experimenting with them they found out we get negative reactions to hydrogen they sprayed an entire layer of it over the planet's atmosphere. With the entire populous in a state of temporary comatose they captured 5,000 additional citizens for "further research". They left only one droid behind, which told us that "If we have a problem with human methods of learning we could talk it over with the Ultra ZX-Killbot extinction forces."
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:49 No.15640996
    I know which one you are talking about but I can't find it
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:51 No.15641006
    Human: Well hello there! I'm sure most of you know about the Asari. Enlightened and shit like that, and they're all chicks. But we've only got one question here tonight for them to answer.


    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:52 No.15641018
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:53 No.15641029
    Turian: Ah yes, blenders. We have dismissed those-OH GOD MY INTESTINES OH GOD THE PAIN WHYYYYYY!?!?!
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:56 No.15641060
    Asshole had it coming.

    I wonder though. Could we create a blender big enough to BLEND A REAPER?

    We need to try to find out, I think.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:57 No.15641067
    That made me smile
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:58 No.15641074
    First we'd have to analyze the reaper, identify and categorize it's properties, and THEN built a device specifically designed to blend one.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:58 No.15641077
    Fuck that,
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:58 No.15641078

    I was referring to Babylon 5.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:58 No.15641079
    We're humans.


    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)22:59 No.15641084
    "So anyway, I was thinking about taking a Kirtorian battle tank hull, the build. But making it with Terran biometal, they make some excellent stuff in France, got integrated active camouflage, regeneration. Everything. Now we stack a Batatatian powercore in there, but we let some human engineers install it. Because Batataian powercores are dangerously unstable. But we can fix that. Put in an emergency nuclear fuelcell, so it can get back to base if the powercore fails.
    And now your favourite. The Vurlook destructor cannon, shaped in a Challenger X turret.
    That would be THE ultimate tank."
    "Man, us Vurlook and you humans. We could conquer everything and beyond together."
    "I drink to that."
    >> Engineer Guy 07/19/11(Tue)22:59 No.15641088
    Wait, you guys, think about this:

    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)23:00 No.15641090
    I know, but I could not remember their name thats all, I was not saying they where forerunner
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)23:00 No.15641093
    Our destiny is clear.

    We must blend the universe itself.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)23:01 No.15641104

    How can we blend the universe with a blender inside the universe?

    No, we must turn the universe into a blender, and then use it to blend OTHER universes.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)23:02 No.15641110
    >Oh hai. Guess who found out your atomic structure is destroyed upon contact with aluminum-plasteel surfaces?
    >OH FUCK
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)23:07 No.15641154
    The OP actually reminds me of the World War series, by Harry Turtledove, in which a race of reptilian aliens attempts to conquer our planet.
    Problem is they sent probes 700 years before the invasion, and since they and ever race they've subjugated advanced slowly in technology, they assumed we'd still be sword-swinging savages on horses by the time they got here (granted their ships only took 40 years to get here). When they neared our system and picked up radio signals, they got their first taste of humanity.
    More interestingly is that they invaded in 1944, at the peak of the WWII arms-race. And the aliens? Other than their so-called "cold sleep" for long-term space travel and space travel itself their tech was 21st-century (ceramic armored tanks with sabot rounds, jet fighters with laser-guided bombs, nuclear weapons, radio/TV, semiconductors, etc.
    It's a very good read, it's alot more complicated than just "HURFDURF ALIENZ", with alot of politics and such involved from ALL sides of the conflict.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)23:08 No.15641165
    >implying the universe isn't already a big ass blender
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)23:10 No.15641181
    "Oh wow, the orbital station is so huge! Honey, thanks so much for bringing me her for my birthday, you're so sweet."
    "No trouble, baby, you know I'd do anything for you. And hey, since I'm on the administrative staff it's not too much trouble at all."
    "But really, it's so big! Even back in Chasm City the Giga-trains weren't this large. And there's even aliens here too, more than down in the tourist districts!"
    "Hey, don't call them "aliens" out loud, darling, it's not PC."
    "Oh, right, sorry! So are there any *gasp* h-hey, what is that?!"
    "Don't point. You mean that big bulky space-suit-looking thing with the reflective visor, right? Honey, that's a Human."
    "Human? I've heard about them, they're like, really clever things, right?"
    "Uh, sort of...Humans are a fast-reproducing species from the planet Earth in one of the stellar loop zones. They're excellent engineers and traders, and they tend to wander all over inhabited space."
    "Oh, so they're friendly?"
    "Yes, but they breathe a dangerous and poisonous Oxygen gas mixture, so they can't interact well with the rest of us civilized races. I heard rumours that their homeworld is racked by storms, rain, and full of jungles filled with vicious beasts, but out here they're a great help when it comes to running the station's machinery. I'm friends with a few of them, they're nice guys."
    "Huuuh....So what do they look like inside the suit?"
    "Nobody knows."
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)23:15 No.15641227
    Hey, Bo'B

    Hey, D've. What you doing?

    Well, you ever notice how the hyperspace rifts that bend space and time generated by the lost precursor's gate network all look the same?

    Well...yeah. Why do you ask?

    Nothing...I just can't help but think about it when I mix my drinks. Plug that thing in and set it to 'frappe' will you?
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)23:16 No.15641231

    So humans are Quarians?
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)23:18 No.15641245
    >We were not warriors.

    Yeah we are soldiers. Honor is the crutch of fools. Mercy is the mistake of the weak. Restraint is the strategy of the idiot. We despise a fair fight, or any fight where our victory is not assured. Ours is not to fight, it not to die, it is only to kill and go on killing without pause, or doubt, or any petty moral consideration.

    Tactics win engagements, strategies win battles, logistics wins wars.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)23:18 No.15641249
    >humans at the next table
    "So frank, how close are we to cracking those gates?"
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)23:19 No.15641255

    Or Volus. Take your pick.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)23:19 No.15641256
    And nukes beat soldiers.

    Fuck off, this is the 21th century.

    You use soldiers to beat up third world countries that don't even have police forces.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)23:25 No.15641307
    <>transmission begins<>

    Greetings humans. We are the Clath.

    We are your interstellar neighbours. However, we have some bad news for you: Your solar system is unusually deficient with a specific ore which is used in FTL travel. So, your species would never be able to expand and colonize space. We, however, have an abundance of this ore.

    But there's another problem: Space is crowded. We Clath want to expand and colonize new worlds, but there's a massive federation of aliens surrounding our small territory! And we Clath are slow-growing soft weaklings. So we can't take these worlds by force.

    But you humans, did you know you are based on musculature testing the strongest and fastest on average of all known species? Though there are stronger, they are slow. And though there are faster, they are weak. We Clath have great technology. We can transport your armies and engineers and people to these border worlds, and you can take them for us.
    Then, we can divide the spoils 50/50.

    Humans, together we can cut out a piece of the universe for ourselves, together.

    Will you help us?

    <> transmission ends<>
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)23:25 No.15641309
    I think he was comparing a mechanized and soulless army of humans and automata to an alien army with martial pride. And wouldn't nukes be part of the whole "not restrain philosophy". You hit them hard with everything you've got. Pretty much all maneuver warfare has turned into just a way to get in a position to bring as much force to bear on the enemy as possible.

    Technologic prowess + ruthless disregard for life = fleets of von neuman warships. Planets and stars are nothing sacred, they are merely conveniently concentrated construction material. Down them in oceans or our combat thralls' blood, crush them under mountains of our dead mechanical slaves.

    We do not send men to fight for men are weak things, instead we build machines. Beasts of metal which battle their own kind for the right to glut themselves on the blood of men whose ability to build machines was found wanting.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)23:25 No.15641314
    True. If humanity became an engineer race we would just invent thousands of different bombs for various situations and start dropping when shit goes down.

    Soldiers would be unnecessary when you can release satellite-guided explosives and gas bombs capable of causing an entire city's population to enter comas.
    >> Yaden Juki 07/19/11(Tue)23:25 No.15641315
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    you use soldiers when you want to capture and hold territory, nukes make an area uninhabitable.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)23:27 No.15641327
    >You use soldiers to beat up third world countries that don't even have police forces.
    >implying that preying upon the weak is not a good strategy
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)23:33 No.15641372
    <>transmission begins<>

    Greetings, Clath. We are the humans.

    We have been aware of our own lack of this critical ore for quite a while. Thankfully, we have solved this problem in the way we know best. Our FTL engines work on different principles. They do not require the ore.

    We are also aware of your lies. You are not slow-growing. You are not soft. You are not weak. And we are neither strong nor fast. But that does not matter.

    Our satellite weapons should be entering your home system now.

    We eagerly await your next message.

    <>transmission ends<>
    >> dirigible 07/19/11(Tue)23:35 No.15641389
    <transmission begins>

    Good health, Clath. We humans have convened our council of nations and decided that your proposal is acceptable. However we have 2 conditions which must be met before we are to participate in any 'expansion' operations.

    First, Humankind must be granted a planet for mining the FTL ore, as well as a shipment as soon as can be delivered, so that we might study it. We wish to build our own ships.

    Second, Humankind must be granted a series of territories extending from the Solar System to the opposite edge of Clath territory. We wish to arrange our own supply lines should expansion efforts become violent.

    We look forward to working with you in the future.

    <transmission end>
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)23:36 No.15641402

    <>transmission begins<>

    Well that's convenient, because....you're on Candid Camera!

    <>transmission ends<>
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)23:39 No.15641432

    <>transmission begins<>

    Sure you can have the ore sources. In fact, since we have a much slower reproductive and growth rate, we can adjust the planet allocation rate to 60/40 in your favour. We also fully intend to outline our invasion plans with out on equal terms at your discretion.

    This is a partnership, not a master/servant relationship.

    <>transmission ends<>
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)23:40 No.15641446
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    This it?
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)23:41 No.15641456
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)23:42 No.15641470

    yeah thats it, thank you kind sir.
    >> Yaden Juki 07/19/11(Tue)23:44 No.15641479
    <>transmission begins<>

    Greetings, Clath. This is Cave Johnson here.
    The boys in the lab tell me they've developed a kind of faster than light travel engine that uses our Aperture Science Combustable Lemons for propulsion. Still, send us some of that ore, perhaps we can share out studies for better results.
    This is Cave Johnson, We're done here.

    <>transmission ends<>
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)23:46 No.15641494
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    I laughed so hard I nearly inhaled the tortilla chip I was eating.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)00:05 No.15641638
    Cave Johnson for leader of humanity.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)00:05 No.15641640
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    Sorry for shitty quick edit.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)00:07 No.15641650
    > the race from lovecraft that can time travel with their minds
    The Great Race of Yith? From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_shadow_out_of_time .
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)00:17 No.15641716
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    Is that really so bad? I, for one, welcome the ability to bounce back from any injury and have aging become obsolete.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)00:21 No.15641744
    Does anyone remember that short story Asimov(?) wrote where humans didn't make it to deep space, but the robots we made ventured into the void on a campaign of vengeance, hunting down the race they believed to destroy humanity?
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)00:25 No.15641776
    No, but that sounds awesome. Story have a name?
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 07/20/11(Wed)00:26 No.15641780
    That does indeed sound hardcore.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)00:27 No.15641790
    So Vurlook are the galaxy's bro race?
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)00:29 No.15641801
    >Plutonian corn field
    Do want.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)00:31 No.15641813
    This is that exactly, retard. It's just placing emphasis on a different human quality than the capacity for violence.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 07/20/11(Wed)00:32 No.15641820
    I'm stealing the shit out of that for future writefaggotry.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)00:38 No.15641859
    I'm certain it does but I can't remember it, and I can't remember where I read it, if it was a book from the library or if it's one of the books I have hidden in storage somewhere.
    I remember it began with humans evacuating a moon-base to head back to Earth, and they had to leave a bulkier older-model robot behind because it couldn't fit in a shuttle. So it waited, and waited, and waited, and then noticed no more lights on the dark side of Earth, so he went to Earth in a spare shuttle and discovered no people left, and the cities in ruins. He gathered up the surviving robots, built an army, and headed out into space to avenge humanity.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)00:42 No.15641883
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    /tg/, now this's a fine piece of work. Good job.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)00:43 No.15641891
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    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)00:45 No.15641904
    >for science
    Science is a blind whore, sir. We do this for COST EFFECTIVE MARKETABILITY.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)00:47 No.15641922
    Actually, I'd not be surprised to see a variant on this idea of humans being the, for want of a better term, "space jews" in a scifi setting. We do seem to love our wealth.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)01:05 No.15642054
    I recall a story where humans took over a much larger and multiracial civilization because it pretty much didn't fight back. The reason it was multiracial, was because it was taken over many times, and each time the previous culture just absorbed its new leaders, taking their strengths and adding them into its own. One of the strengths humans brought was completely revolutionizing the economy.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)01:07 No.15642071
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    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)01:11 No.15642091
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    Mankinds greatest foe will be a race of Crab-like saboteurs.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)01:12 No.15642106
    rolled 85 = 85

    Oh please, I want to read this now.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)01:12 No.15642107
    That's awesome. Why do so many stories have robots as the bad guys, destroying all humans and such? I for one prefer robots as total bros.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)01:14 No.15642124
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    Not better living through science, better living through Morgan Industries! Our customers expect no less of us. We have never sought to become a monopoly. Our products are simply so good that no one feels the need to compete with us!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)01:17 No.15642145
    rolled 27 = 27

    Do any of these titles ring any bells?

    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)01:18 No.15642157

    Oh, hey, i remember this one!

    Its the one where, basically, easy-peasy space travel technology exists, and humankind just kind of didn't discover it by accident UNTIL the aliens 'invaded' and got a taste of warfare with a race that uses their tactics, but with better tech?

    Humanity jacked it, of course.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)01:26 No.15642212
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    >avenging robots
    >pic related
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)01:26 No.15642215

    No, that's a completely different one. In that one, the aliens were the most advanced beings in the galaxy... with 17th century tech (muskets and cannonballs) Then they hit Earth, and get automatic weapons to the face.

    Something about the FTL tech being anti-science, so those who develop it abandon the scientific method. Except humans, who never make the discovery and so continue advancing...
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)01:34 No.15642267

    Actually what happened was we ended up in a stalemate, they could've nuked us back to the stone-age but they actually wanted to colonize our world. They were forced to agree to a cease-fire because, while they had better tech, they also had shit tactics, and they found themselves in an arms race that they were getting alarmingly close to losing.
    There were 4 books in the "World War" series, 3 in the "Colonization" series, and then it ends with "Homeward Bound", all in all a great series.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)01:35 No.15642270

    Fix for realism and manliness.

    >We're not the fastest or the strongest or the smartest but we have something that makes us unique. We might not be the strongest nor fastest, but that is completely irrelevant when even our cheapest combat bots, not mention our special task force operators with their nanosuits, can outreflex and overpower any warrior hunderdfolds and rip them to shreds with both their guns or arms like pieces of cloth. Initially we might not be the smartest but our extensive mental augmentations by both nanomachines and nootropics, combined with wide use of psychedelic drugs and enormous knowledge bases gives us unique insight simply not possible in most alien cultures not enjoying the freedom of information we take for granted.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)01:37 No.15642286

    Gah, no! This sucks, man, it might not even have been an Asimov book, but a sort of spin-off based on his laws of robotics. If I could remember what the hell the robot's name was I'd be better off.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)01:42 No.15642314
    rolled 79 = 79

    Oh well, maybe I'll run across it one day.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)01:43 No.15642317
    We don't have to press anything. Let the automations do it themselves.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)01:43 No.15642319
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    Further fix, plus shortened/

    >We're not the fastest nor the strongest, but we damn well build something that is.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)01:44 No.15642325
    It's so quiet.

    I feel completely at ease here, the vast nothingness that encompasses my form removes all physical strain from my body. You have never really relaxed until you've stepped out into the void. That there's only a thin skin between myself and the universe is such a mindblowing concept. Zen-like.

    "Salvation One, this is Intrepid, over"

    My reverie is broken by the buzz of the comms. Reality invades. Sort of like having the colour and sound suddenly turned up. I open my eyes and look out through the gold helm that keeps my face from explosively decompressing. the stars shine back, nothingness. And yet everything.

    "Copy Intrepid, this is Salvation One."

    "Salvation One, the boys here are wondering what's taking you so long to fix the drive plate."

    So quiet here. unlike those poor bastards inside. Alarms and machinery whirring and grinding.

    Something squawks from the comm unit.

    "Sorry Intrepid, say again?"

    "Salvation One, this is the Captain."

    A female voice this time. Authorative. Snaps me out of my thoughts. I jet the to the left to get a better view of Intrepid's drive plating.


    A pause.
    "What's the situation?"

    Micrometeors had struck the ship only a half hour ago and we'd had to make emergency repairs when the engine stopped. I volunteered to go out, because hell, what's the point of being the only K class engineer if you never go zero-g?
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)01:44 No.15642326
    will* not well.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)01:44 No.15642330

    "Captain, the drive plate is repaired and you're ready to go. There was a small issue with the reactor compartment, too much pressure buildup in the coolant because of the damage to the feed line. I swapped it out, everything should work now."

    A pause now. longer than the others.

    "That's a relief Salvation One, Come aboard as soon as possible and we'll make our jump."

    My breathing is shallower now. Strangely upsetting.

    "I don't think that'll be possible Intrepid."


    I take my last glimpse at the ship that would save a world. Cylindrical, vast. So small from this distance. I was proud to serve her.

    Damn micrometeors.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)01:47 No.15642344

    I fucking loved that series. Aliens with modern day technology come to earth expecting tribesman who just learned how to tame horses and carve spears, got World War II. Try to preserve the the world for colonization, get bumfucked by the nuclear arms race and highly intoxicating . . . . something. Cinnamon? Anyway, fastforward a bit, Humanity turns around and invades THEIR homeworld. Fucking awesome
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)01:48 No.15642352
    You know, in most sci-fi settings the advanced tech races always just seem to be there, with little explanation of why their tech is so awesome or how they got it to be like that.

    This whole analyzing everything and building with the knowledge ITT seems the reason for why the super-tech aliens get such great tech.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)01:53 No.15642373
    Archived this.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)01:54 No.15642383
    As much as I like these ideas I still can't ignore the idea that humans are and will always be the species filled with fun-loving idiots.

    >Excuse me human but what is that dev ice on your arm?
    >Oh this? We call it the god hand, it allows us to destroy things by punching them!
    >Ah, sounds quite powerful. To what purpose do you use it?
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)01:56 No.15642400

    We never really invaded, we visited, but the threat of retaliation was very much there since we discovered FTL travel by the end of it.
    And it was ginger. Shit was hilarious, fucking Soviets making "fuck bombs" filled with ginger that'd make the alien females go into heat. :V
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:00 No.15642424
    Slightly terrifying fun-loving idiots. The kind you kind of want to rein in, but are a bit nervous to do so, and overall, are happy they're on your side.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:00 No.15642425

    >Humans are the only race to view things as "Why not?" when it comes to building things.

    >This leads to improbably powerful and useless items that baffle aliens.
    >> Magus O'Grady 07/20/11(Wed)02:01 No.15642434
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    I'll drop a few of my favorites, as long as we're bouncing some light H:FY around.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:02 No.15642437

    I fail to see how knowing how to have a good time and being damn good engineers can not go hand in hand.

    Imagine, building the most elegantly designed and efficient star ships the galaxy has ever seen, not just because it was an exercise in FTL technology, but because it was FAST and AWESOME and we are so going on the best fucking road trip of all time! There will be delicious green skinned space babes (because bitches love a bro with the hottest ride), pizza and beer, and more spatial anomalies and mind-bending physics that even we can ever hope to analyze.

    Shit is going to be so cash.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:02 No.15642440
    Would also lead to us as the only ones who value information for it's own sake. Abstract knowledge, things like the average solar flare activity on the far side of Epsilon Eridani.

    "Why bother researching this?"

    "Got to do something on my way to tenure."
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:03 No.15642446
    They can, that's what I was trying to illustrate.

    I was just trying to say that you all seem to be ignoring this part of humanity
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:07 No.15642465
    >Sir, did you see that human stuffing a sensor module into that contraption of his?
    >Yes. He specifically asked me for it.
    >Why did you give it to him then?
    >He wanted to know if it would blend.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:08 No.15642472

    Space rednecks will be the best/worst of it. They'll get their hands on alien tech, look at it long and hard and tell themselves "Reckon I could put a motor/bigger motor on that..."
    Proof? Bar-stool races.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:11 No.15642492

    This made me realize that in the "World War" series, to The Race we must've looked like a bunch of Cave Johnsons. Just doing shit as fast as we could and seeing what happens. At least to them we would've, The Race advanced slowly for safety reasons, to better understand environmental, cultural, economical and political affects before introducing anything, and when it was introduced it was done so SLOOOOOOWLY.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:11 No.15642493
    >>We're not the fastest or the strongest or the smartest but we have something that makes us unique. We might not be the strongest, but we can build something to compensate for that. We might not be the fastest, but we can fine tune our creations to get there. We might not be the smartest but our massive knowlage bases can give us unique insight.

    That's HFY. The "hurf durf humans kill errything we bad we bad" fags are the ones doing it wrong.
    >> Magus O'Grady 07/20/11(Wed)02:12 No.15642496
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    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:12 No.15642497
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    Ah, yes. It does seem the future gets very serious business, whether it's a 'humans are warriors' or 'humans are diplomats' in a lot of media. I for one support the idea of humans basically being that fun-loving, adventure-seeking gadgeteer genius who likes to kick back with a copy of Popular Mechanics while knocking back a few.

    Basically, that guy.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:15 No.15642507
    I agree that the KILLMAIM humanfuckyeah thing is stupid, but I also haven't seen any of that done in the last several threads, just people endlessly complaining about it.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:17 No.15642523
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    >"Yes, but they breathe a dangerous and poisonous Oxygen gas mixture

    Not this shit again. Oxygen or something else highly reactive is an ABSOLUTE necessity for complex multicellular life with to evolve (not to mention one capable of sentience). It all comes down to energy, and complex multicellular life requires FAR more of energy in comparison to bacteria etc. simple lifeforms, and oxygen with it's highly reactive nature makes this possible.

    Just saying that your aliens could not exist, at least not exist as anything more complex than a puddle of primordial goo.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:20 No.15642536
    It's entirely possible life could breathe some other form of gas, making oxygen poisonous to them, or at the very minimum useless like nitrogen is to breathing.
    >> Magus O'Grady 07/20/11(Wed)02:20 No.15642542
    In all likelihood, it won't be the oxygen in our air that's dangerous to other races. That's only a fraction of our atmosphere anyway. It's the nitrogen that makes up the bulk of our air that would be dangerous to other races.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:21 No.15642543
    This is something I've never understood about modern science. How do we know things like that? Life for us can't exist without oxygen, yeah, I know, but how do we know stuff like this?
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:24 No.15642573
    no, no it really is impossible.

    Oxygen is the one and only chemical that can be used in aerobic respiration, no other chemicals can replace it, even if you're operating under a different biological basis oxygen is still vital
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:26 No.15642584
    Also stuff about deep space. We can't experiment on that stuff yet, so...how? This shit bugs me guys.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:26 No.15642586
    Could it not be possible that some life form evolved from an anaerobic microbe?
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:28 No.15642599
    Flourine is also capable of all the same interations as xygen, just so you know. Chlorine is capable of a number of them as well. There is a reason they are in the same section of the periodic table.

    It is worth noting that chemosynthesis is less reliant on oxygen than it is on sulfur compounds as well.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:28 No.15642600
    no, absolutely not.

    The sheer amount of energy required cannot be achieved through anaerobic respiration.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:31 No.15642613
    Also, we didn't think non-carbon based lifeforms were possible, yet we have a silicon based bacteria instead, replacing the phosphates in their DNA chains with arsenic.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:32 No.15642620
    That is entirely correct, but fluorine is TOO reactive, introducing fluorine into a cell results in the fluorine breaking down pretty much every bond in the cell in order to bind to something.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:34 No.15642626
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    >Flourine based xeno
    >Integrated into human colonies
    >Includes alterations to water supplies
    >pic related

    >periods heaymon
    >I hear ya, you crazy Jamaican misogynist
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:34 No.15642630
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    What if everything in the cell was already built to accommodate fluorine?

    There's a ton of shit we don't know about how life works. All we know is an idea of how Carbon-based life works. And even then those are just theories, like everything else.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:35 No.15642637
    >Implying aliens have cells
    Honestly, unless you're a PhD in Chemistry who has done years of research on alternatives to terrestrial biochem, I'd take your pronouncements with a grain of salt.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:37 No.15642642
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    >drop a few of my favorites
    >Post your own material
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:38 No.15642646
    Not true at all. You could achieve comparable amounts with iron reduction. From our point of view, it would be only slightly less efficient, since aerobic respiration achieves + 0.82 EoV and iron reduction achieves +0.77 EoV. Methane could also be used, although I can't give you the values on that,
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:38 No.15642651
    Somebody fucking answer me, why could something not evolve to where it doesn't need oxygen while maintaining "sentience"? And is it definitive that whatever evolved would need any kind of respiration? I mean, everything we've seen on our planet has a form of respiration, but this doesn't necessarily mean things on a different world with a different setup in its solar system (gravity, type of sun, amount of sunlight said planet gets, other shit I know shit all about) wouldn't have something different.

    I'm really just curious cause no one has ever said anything aside from "it's impossible for our life to occur on such and such". Which I get, we need specific things, and we're really quite lucky with our planet the way it is, but what makes us think that it's IMPOSSIBLE for something else to evolve in different circumstances?
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:39 No.15642657
    What the fuck kind of life form doesn't have cells?

    How does that even work?
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:39 No.15642659

    hmm... maybe.

    It might be possible, it also comes with the added bonus of being viable for silicon life, considering that silicon tetrafluoride is a gas unlike silicon dioxide, which is a solid lattice.

    good idea, dear anon
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:39 No.15642660
    I will admit, friend, that my people are not your equals in wisdom. Your philosophy is the driving force behind galactic thought, every scholar from here to the core studies your thinkers. Neither are we the equals of the Rayyans in military discipline or tactics, nor the Jaroon in scientific research. But I ask you, who builds and maintains the gate network? Who runs the finest shipyards in the galaxy? When the allied fleet pushed back the Z'tan, what was stamped on their hulls?

    What are the three most important words in the galaxy? How about "Made On Earth"
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:41 No.15642672

    Just to make sure we're on the same page.

    Respiration and Cellular Respiration are two different things.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:41 No.15642673
    >Humanity is the engineer/shadetree-mechanic of the galaxy
    >Humanity is not the best, but we can make shit to get there
    >Humanity built this in a cave with a box of scraps

    >sudden derail discussing biochemistry

    ...wait, what?
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:42 No.15642679
    'Scientific theory' is as close to hard truth as you can get. What you wanted to say is 'unfounded hypothesis', which is on the opposite end of the spectrum, together with creationism and people who think 3e wizards are balanced.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:43 No.15642689

    Welcome to /tg/, the complimentary Ward-rage-kit is on the table to the left.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:43 No.15642690
    So are we all under the impression that first contact will completely cause globalization?

    I know it wouldn't be overnight, but I would to see how that shit works out most if not all the planet breaking out in civil war.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:45 No.15642699
    I get that man, but what I meant...you..and no one else really has answered me. Fuck. I'm not even sure what I mean anymore.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:47 No.15642706
    Humanity IS the best engineer/shadetree-mechanic of the galaxy
    If we didn't build it, we adapted it then optimized it.
    Earth is surprisingly devoid of most of the materials needed for large scale galactic as well as FTL travel, as well as the sheer amount of it. We jury-rigged that shit with durasteel and solder.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:47 No.15642712
    It would eventually, but it certainly wouldn't happen overnight.

    I'd say a about a century and a half after first contact
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:49 No.15642717
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    >Jury Rigging is a Basic Skill for humans.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:49 No.15642719
    Not so sure on that one, anon.
    I could very easily see the world fragment into "pro-xeno" and "anti-xeno" factions, as well as neutral factions who want to open "diplomatic relations" for the sake of our continued existence, and a faction consisting only of America and it's handful of bro-nations who's only goal will be to catch up, tech wise. Whether this is for the purpose of becoming equals or blowing them out of the skies depends entirely on approval ratings.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:50 No.15642722

    It may not necessarily have to be oxygen, but something else highly reactive. Oxygen is simply the more logical choice since atmospheres of young terrestial worlds are almost entirely made of carbon dioxide (like early earth and probably every other terrestial world) and some of the early life is likely to evolve metabolize the carbon dioxide, shitting oxygen in the process.

    And like said earlier, complex life requires lots of energy, and only by breathing reactive gas like oxygen, can they sustain their metabolism, especially their brains.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:50 No.15642725

    Cellular respiration is not respiration. Cellular respiration is the conversion of biochemical nutrients into ATP. What we were discussing is a problem in which we cannot find any other method of ATP production which would result in enough energy gain to sustain sentient life, based on known elements and chemicals.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:50 No.15642727
    So, Ender's Game?
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:54 No.15642754

    Basically what you're saying is, and correct me if I'm wrong, we can't really say we KNOW for absolute certainty that such things are impossible. All we have for evidence is the life that has grown on this planet, and while we may have theories backed by all of the scientific knowledge we have thus far gained, there is still an impossibly large amount that we have no idea about yet, or are wrong about we think we know now. What we have discovered and learned is impressive and amazing. But ultimately it's like taking a single drop of water, analyzing it, and assuming that our findings would hold true for every drop of water on our planet.

    So the possibility of life outside Earth that finds oxygen to be toxic might not be possible according to all that we currently know. But since all that we currently know accounts for jack shit still, the possibility does exist.
    >> Magus O'Grady 07/20/11(Wed)02:58 No.15642774
    I've written dozens of H:FY pieces, and that is the only one that hasn't sucked. And, ironically, I don't remember writing it. I had a pretty bad period of sleep deprivation and lost a bit of time, and a week after i got back on a regular sleep schedule, I see someone post it in an H:FY thread. Color me surprised. Maybe I need to fry my brain more often.

    Dude, look at us. We don't have an abundance of nuclear fuel, or the ores for FTL, or the elements to create the hyper-tensile alloys all the other races use. But we've got Duct Tape. And that's good enough.
    If you can't duck it, fuck it.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:58 No.15642776
    sure...maybe chemistry workes differently on other planets.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)02:59 No.15642779
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    Basically yes.
    We can speculate all we want, and the best part is somewhere, possibly, it could be true.
    We really know very little about the universe, when it comes right down to it.
    We very well may be the Forerunner race, leaving behind massive artifacts for future races, if there ever is any.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)03:00 No.15642785
    "This is the captain speaking. Our primary engines are failing. All passengers are advised to prepare for emergency landing. Any humans aboard, please stand and meet the hostess at the rear engineering hatch. Thank you."
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)03:02 No.15642797

    Biology/chemistry aren't my specialties, but all I'm saying is our conception of "life" is very much limited by what we have on Earth. We all have a common ancestor so it's no surprise we share many biochem pathways.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)03:06 No.15642819
    Now what would be really weird is coming across an alien race that has similar roots as ours.

    Obviously, this means they can be fucked with impunity.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)03:07 No.15642830
    That's the case even if they don't have similar roots. Figuring out how to fuck something that is nothing like you happens to be an engineering problem.
    >> Magus O'Grady 07/20/11(Wed)03:08 No.15642833
    More than just chemical reactions with each other, you have to take environmental variables into account.
    What is the alien atmosphere composed of?
    What is the pressure/density of said atmosphere?
    What is the ambient temperature range?
    Amount of sunlight?
    Color of sunlight?
    Length of the day?

    These are mostly constant on earth, but on other worlds, they may be wildly different.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)03:10 No.15642848
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    And we humans just happen to be good at solving engineering problems.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)03:12 No.15642859
    Yes, thank you. You said it a lot better than how I was.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)03:15 No.15642885
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    That isn't how science works, guys. It's one thing to point at the possibilities and say "this could work." It's quite another to point at one of the possibilities and say "this is what we'll probably see."

    It's completely possible that somewhere in the universe there's a species which shits left handed hex nuts. But we'd be retards if we expected to find it.

    That's why we focus our search on locations habitable to earth life. Because we know of life that exists very robustly in those climes, namely earth life. COULD there be some kind of life which could live elsewhere? Sure. But first let's exhaust the search space where we know of life what could live there.
    >> The Prophet !QxRuU77r6k 07/20/11(Wed)03:19 No.15642914
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    A thread where I can post The Cult of He Who Blends!
    Incoming wall of parody OC!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)03:21 No.15642924
    i recall there was a video game where human did not have steel ships, but instead we mastered genetics and growth hormone so we build ship out of blob of flesh and morph it however we want
    >> The Prophet !QxRuU77r6k 07/20/11(Wed)03:21 No.15642927
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    >Internet died, got bored, wrote up a parody religious cult based off of “Will It Blend?” Internet came back. Enjoy.

    The god they worship is known as He Who Blends, or the All-Blender. He is a god of creation and destruction, for just as you destroy something by blending it, by its destruction the blending takes the old matter and creates a new form for it.

    Priests of the cult point to the spinning of the solar system and galaxies as evidence of His awesome power, and claim that the process of Big Bang-Heat Death-Big Crunch is the result of the All-Blender's blending of the universe.

    Their feared enemy is That Which Does Not Blend; The Destroyer of Blades. They fear the Destroyer of Blades for his agents are insidious, ever persistent in the Destroyer of Blades' apparent attempts to defy the All-Blender's mighty power. When in worship, cult followers spend what time is not spent praising the All-Blendes mighty wisdom and power, and supplicate Him for strength to overcome That Which Does Not Blend in His name.

    Between cult members, the most commonly used phrase said to greet fellow Blenders or end meetings between themselves would be a mutual response of: "He Blends."

    Because He Who Blends is considered to be omnipotent, the greatest crisis of faith a cult follower will encounter in their travels is: "If He Who Blends, blends all that is, then how can That Which Does Not Blend exist?"

    Philosophers have pondered this question, and three distinct groups have formed within and without the cult: The active Edge, the stalwart Blend, and the mysterious Motorized. (cont.)
    >> The Prophet !QxRuU77r6k 07/20/11(Wed)03:22 No.15642933
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    The Edge believe that, in a time before time, before the universe as we know it existed, He Who Blends and The Destroyer of Blades were known by different names, and had a different relationship in that existence. However, they posit that the two beings began a rivalry with each other, which gave way to enmity, and eventually that gave way to absolute hatred between the two. At some point during their struggles, He Who Blends succeeded in forcing The Destroyer of Blades into submission, weakening and trapping The Destroyer of Blades; but He Who Blends would not leave it at that.

    The hatred He Who Blends had for his rival was such that he desired that no trace of The Destroyer of Blades could exist, and began to blend all existence with his power as an attempt to absolutely annihilate his enemy, yet The Destroyer of Blades shared this hatred, and in his spite continued to strive against the blending wrath of He Who Blends, working to constantly counter or destroy the workings of He Who Blends not out of a vain attempt to survive, but out of hatred and contempt of his foe.

    The Edge also believe that eventually, He Who Blends will have blended and re-blended space-time to the point that The Destroyer of Blades will have ceased to exist, with the future after this point as yet unrevealed to His followers. The Edge feel it as their duty to act as counters to the sabotage of That Which Does Not Blend, seeing the enemy of their god as their enemy as well, and often lead lives of zealotry in their defense of their brothers or in pursuit and destruction of That Which Does Not Blend, so as to hasten the final destruction of The Destroyer of Blades. (cont.)
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)03:22 No.15642938

    >> The Prophet !QxRuU77r6k 07/20/11(Wed)03:23 No.15642942
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    The Blend is the largest denomination of the cult, and they believe that That Which Does Not Blend is, in fact, the blade of He Who Blends that He uses to blend the universe with.

    The Blends reason that, just as the All-Blender is all-powerful, just so would his tools be, and that that which others see as The Destroyer of Blades is not the enemy, but instead see that as a tool of the All-Blender, of course it would ruin and shatter any lesser blades it contends with, just as those who suffer the final judgment of He Who Blends cannot contend with the blending power of His instruments.

    The Blend sees The Destroyer of Blades and That Which Does Not Blend as things to be rightly feared, yet as tools of their god they should also be rightly understood as well. The Blend adopt a stalwart position in the ranks of the cult, with the extremes of the group being the apathetic Grits, who see no point in the struggle to survive the blending as it will only smoothen the Blend further, making the Blend closer to He Who Blends' ideal, and the self-righteous Rotors, who believe it to be their duty to 'maintain the Great Blending' and often act on their own to insure the cult's survival for the self-assumed purpose of assisting their god with the blending of the universe. (cont.)
    >> The Prophet !QxRuU77r6k 07/20/11(Wed)03:24 No.15642949
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    The Motorized are those who have reasoned to themselves that they, too, could become just like their god, and the way to do so is to create more and more powerful blending devices until they eventually equal, or even surpass the blending power of He Who Blends.

    Often viewed with skepticism due to the implied heresy of their beliefs, the Motorized are the smallest notable denomination within the cult, composed of scholars, philosophers, researchers and engineers, yet the Motorized maintain great power and influence by equipping their Edge brothers with weapons able to better combat That Which Does Not Blend, and maintain great political power through the higher ranks of the Rotors by 'assisting' them where is it would be beneficial to the cult or themselves.

    The Motorized have several branches and many self-standing individuals among their numbers due to the constant rivalry and upstaging, as they compete not only in wits and philosophy, but in the construction of the Instruments of their cult. (cont.)
    >> The Prophet !QxRuU77r6k 07/20/11(Wed)03:25 No.15642954
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    These branch groups are disparate in all things, save their dogma, and group themselves loosely among the following groups:

    The one group known as the Theurgists strives to become greater than their god, yet their further plans are obscured by their secrecy and their numbers can only be guessed at by watching the spread of rumors.

    One group known only as The Faithful strives to better channel His blending will through their instruments, they are beloved by the lower cultists and are often called upon by high ranking Rotors as political image boosters, yet their strict code of conduct and highly ritualistic ways restrict their numbers.

    The last notable group of any reasonable size are cultists in name only with no serious beliefs in the power of the All-Blender and little societal interconnection, yet still use the cult to their own ends; they are known only as S.P.I.N., and their numbers are many but ever in flux as members come and go, or only sign in but are never removed from the roster after their brief visit, while most members of S.P.I.N. will be lucky to have met a dozen of their ‘fellows’. (cont.)
    >> The Prophet !QxRuU77r6k 07/20/11(Wed)03:26 No.15642962
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    Members of the cult who have died or pious members who are close to death, as well as the worst heretics and blasphemers, as well as enemies of the cult, are condemned to suffer the Judgment of He Who Blends: the victim is ritually blessed as to prepare him for his meeting with He Who Blends, slathered with incensed oils and clothed in fine linens and silks, before being placed atop that years Chosen Instrument Of His Will, at which point a button is reverently pressed, activating the spinning blades at the bottom of the CIOHW, and with the victims final words, the victim/corpse is reverently shoved in, while onlookers and on listeners hear the sound of one of their own meeting with their god, while the less pious learn a very good reason to not be a heretic.

    In recent years however, developments have been made to include self-shutting trapdoor iris mechanisms for the lid, courtesy of Motorizer Brother White, thanks to the generous support of Rotorist Brother-Pastor Sean Kennedy, removing the whole 'pushing' element entirely, The Faithful representative and the Blend High Priests agree that this advancement in Instrument technology makes the whole experience much more sublime. (end.)
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)03:30 No.15642985

    This is the epitome of humanity doing things just for fun and laughs.

    >"What is this wonderful noisy machine you carry, human?"
    >"Oh this? It's called a Blendtec Blender. It lets us 'blend' things by breaking them into very small pieces."
    >"What an interesting machine. What purpose do you use it for?"
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)03:42 No.15643054
    this is an awesome thread, thanks guys.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)03:45 No.15643081
    Has it been archived yet?
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)05:24 No.15643476

    there is one movie: Artificial Intelligence with jude law. I was kind of proud when those aliens found that kid after millions of years and told him he was the greatest achievement of an ancient, extremely intelligent race of marvel creators
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)07:20 No.15643951
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    Pardon for the shitty translation.

    The time of the invasion had come. And the whole Earth already knew it.

    It was told by the long fingers of the radar that explored the space. It was howled by the alarm sirens.

    It was shouted from every corner by the automatic loudspeakers, giving proper instructions for this case.

    The time of the invasion had come.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)07:21 No.15643956
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    "Do you expect to meet any resistance?"

    "Barely if at all. It is a world that does not know about starfaring. They probably not even have mastered the use of nuclear energy".

    "And you already know our ships can endure even an atomic blast without getting damage".

    "Everything is ready. The fleet has penetrated the planet's atmosphere"

    "Water and Oxygen! This will be a paradise for the colonizers from Tangobar".

    "Disembark routine number one! We will land on the coast of the closest continent. We will establish the language...then we will send the ultimatum...and in case of resistance..."

    "Unidentified objects are moving towards us at high speed"
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)07:22 No.15643958
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    "What was that?"

    "Status report! Report of the rest of the fleet!"

    "They took down 70 ship! Seventy with a single attack!"

    "Aren't we invulnerable? Aren't we...?"

    "A combat ship of Tangobar can be invulnerable against a nuclear strike, maybe to several impacts...But not against 20 at the same time!"

    "Those savages must have used all of their missiles against us!"

    "Before the destruction we managed to see a strange insignia in the bows of their ships!"

    "Attention! We detect more enemy objects!"
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)07:23 No.15643964
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    "Let us return to the base. We have to know what is the council's opinion."

    "Seventy ships destroyed! By orka, they will pay for this!"

    "This is madness! The only possible explanation is that the planet is going through a period of wars and all of their effort has been directed towards the making of weaponry".

    "All of their military potential seems to be at their coasts since a war like this can only exist between continental factions".

    "We must disembark in the depth of the biggest continent and attack before their defenses can react. The question, now, is: Should be do it?"

    "If this action remains unpunished, the prestige of the empire will become questionable"
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)07:25 No.15643967
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    "If their war ends with the victory of one of the continents then what will happen if they decide to go to the space with all of its military potential?"

    "I propose the extermination of the race inhabiting this planet!"

    "Our first combat ships have engaged in combat, attacking and destroying enemy forces. The insignias of their ships are similar to the ones of the previous attack."

    "Now they will know the might of the Tangobar Empire! The greatest power of the known universe!"

    "The extermination unit is already on the move. Nothing can stop us".
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)07:26 No.15643970
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    "Sir, the screens show a large amount of enemy objects of a different origin...contact in 40 hertz"

    "They are...are millions!"

    "Have you gone insane, imbecile?" That is not possible! Our radars must be broken!"

    "There's no force like this in the whole universe!"

    "20 hertz!"

    "This is madness!"

    "10 hertz!"
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)07:27 No.15643976
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    "There's not even half of the bombs this race has just launched in a minute in the whole universe!"

    "Let us return! They are capable of destroying even their own planet. Our only hope is to pray to Holy Orka that this race never
    discovers space flight..."

    "That would be the end of the galaxy! That planet is invincible!"
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)07:29 No.15643980
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    Everything was over. The danger of an invasion had already been stopped

    The factories will keep sending nuclear bombs to the depots, just as they had done before this. A new attack had to be prevented, regardless of its origin.

    The little mechanical goblins started their slow daily march in order to keep the ships ready at the slightest alarm.

    They have been doing it since 2000 years ago, since the last gunshots of the 3rd world war. Since the radiation killed the last living being on Earth.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)07:30 No.15643987

    >"This is madness!"

    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)07:30 No.15643988
    quite like this take on us. most sci fi settings, games or whatever seem to have us be the diplomats
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)07:36 No.15644010
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    H:FY that doesn't include rampant, xenophobic genocide?
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)07:50 No.15644044


    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)08:14 No.15644140
    Surely they'd run out of fissionable material eventually?
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)08:40 No.15644274
    Antimatter and Antimatter lit fusion bombs!
    Have yo head of them? - count as nuclear too!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)08:46 No.15644313
    You all are aware that if we take this from a transhumanist POW with humans as great creators and builders , then humans are literally the uber species that rapes everything?

    Your mind is software. Program it.
    Your body is a shell. Change it.
    Death is a disease. Cure it.
    Extinction is approaching. Fight it

    I mean engineering as a term is not limited to big clunking machines.
    software engineering,
    financial engineering,

    >HUMAN Meenti
    Yes, chapcha, the Human Meenti is the only known human that interacts directly with all the aliens and creations that have spawned since the Humans re-engineered the totality of the multiverse. - the rest just go about it indirectly and in the omnipotent mysterious precursor way of arrogance and annoying ominous presence
    social engineering.

    You just attributed humanity the means to build themselves literally to be the strongest, fastest, smartest, most beautiful immortal flawless species in fiction.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)08:50 No.15644333
    social engineering
    political engineering
    chemical engineering.

    heck you can engineer and re-engineer anything.

    Masters of the Universe!
    Masters of the Multiverse!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)08:50 No.15644338
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)08:51 No.15644345
    >POW not POV... wtf am i reading?
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)08:56 No.15644377
    re: chemistry and biochemistry: I'm late to this sub-discussion, but the presence of elements is also really important. I think someone else already touched on that, if not outright stated it. It's a major factor in the difference between such alternately-based life being *possible*, and it being *probable*.

    The chemical makeup of earth isn't anything fancy or unusual; most of the universe started out as hydrogen and helium (and most of it still is). We're made of exploded starstuff. Our biochemistry's core features are, of course, built on the simplest, commonest elements that'd work.

    Now check out the relative abundance of elements: http://www.science.co.il/Ptelements.asp?s=Earth . Hmm. Oxygen is at the top. Fluorine and Chlorine are further down... several orders of magnitude less common. We must consider the odds of some planetoid in our galaxy somehow having, simultaneously, a lot more of those and a lot less of oxygen. Those odds are fantastically low. Maybe after a few billion more years of star life cycles there'll be enough of the heavier elements, and then by chance there'll be a concentration of them that is also unusually low in oxygen.

    But then, astrophysics still makes the 'lack of oxygen' part unlikely. That's just the way fusion (and therefore stars) work; it's still mostly hydrogen going in, and it's still overwhelmingly mostly going to be stuff below Iron coming out.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)09:06 No.15644448
    Well, it doesn't have to be so extreme either, we could always just be the first on a breakthrough.
    Maaaybe as an alternative, in soft science setting we were the only race on the brink of developing psychic powers on an IQ scale, and where all these smarter races just did everything by hand because they could, and the dumber ones were worse off anyways, we've developed the most effective, or only, methods of robotics and assembly line construction.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)09:20 No.15644532
    I can't wait to evolve into a little worm. With parts taped to it
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)09:25 No.15644571
    Rule 34 xenos and sentries
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)09:28 No.15644600
    1 IN the future trolls will be. Diplomats u mad xeno then they hop in the fastest ship we have high tail it back to fleet he says OMG THEY ATTACKED ME 2 ???? 3 profit
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)09:37 No.15644636
    This is how invasions will be like we send a probe and find a satellite near there planet upload 4chan when we get there they will think we are death incarnate
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)09:58 No.15644735
    Guys, I think you're forgetting something.

    Sometimes the drive isn't "because I can."

    Other times, and perhaps with better results, the drive is, "because the Johnsons have one, so I need to make mine better."
    >> Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)10:53 No.15645094
    Ancient Romans, during the early Republican times were weak, merely a fortified city and a few farmlands. One of the many nations of ancient Italy. Everyone around them was better at them; Etruscans were more "cultured", Celts surpassed them in terms of martial prowress, Carthagians were better at seafaring, Greeks were wealthier and more cunning, etc...

    But the Romans knew one thing others did not. They could learn. They could adapat. They could take what others were good at, learn its secrets and make them better. The end result was a Roman Empire, with better culture, engineering, seafaring and military knowledge than anybody else before them.

    Will we humans be the Romans of the galaxy?

    And the real question, will we end up like the Romans?
    >> PostNuclearMan !lnanIRPeSk 07/20/11(Wed)11:16 No.15645283
    Robots are our children, they should love and revere us!

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