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    • File : 1310253661.jpg-(124 KB, 827x600, market.jpg)
    124 KB Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)19:21 No.15528042  
    So I was playing D&D 4e with a mediocre DM the other day, and ran into a rather interesting idea because of it that maybe /tg/ could help me with.

    The party was travelling through the singular city of Devas in the setting, in which they're mostly attendants of the divine, like really low-tier angels or devils. Anyway, it's nearing the end of the session and we're all tired. One of the players mentions he wants to find a temple to pray to his god. That's fine, says the DM, as due to their nature, each deity has a temple in this (apparently much larger than previously thought) town.

    I mention that my character is hungry, and roll streetwise to find a place to eat. I get a good result, and the DM mentions that each temple has a cafe or restaurant appending it with appropriate theme and food.

    I joked about seeing what was on the menu at Cafe Vecna, and wondered if the staff at Moradin's Bistro all wore false beards, and then it struck me. Though obviously lazy, hacked out, and born from desperation and want for sleep, the idea of a series of restaurants each revolving around a specific god had its merits.

    What do you think, /tg/? Which god-cafe would you eat at, and what would it be like?
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)19:29 No.15528100
    I feel Ioun would be always very interesting, I love trying new foods. Hmmmmmm now you have me thinking...
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)19:30 No.15528118
    Yondalla's temple probably has a pretty delicious restaurant.

    The worst would be Kyuss, or maybe Doresain if we're counting demigods.
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)19:36 No.15528139
    Zarus' Place. Where we love to serve Man.

    Wonder if the lesser races would be the waitstaff, or the entree.
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)19:37 No.15528154
    >Wow, this Vecna's Roast Beef Sandwich is really good.
    >HERESY! Nothing can compare to the great Pelor's Sunny-Side Eggs!
    >Both of you are fools! Corellon's soup is imbued with his DIVINE FLAVOR!

    And thus the Great Food Crusades began.
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)19:39 No.15528162
    Asmodeus, obviously. I like my food hot.
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)19:44 No.15528195
    >>15528139

    You have to know somebody to get the special menu.
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)20:15 No.15528340
    Lloth's restaurant would be like an evil Hooters.

    The patrons, of course, would mostly be all those Renegade Drow we keep hearing about, who are their incognito to try and woo the beautiful serving girls away from the place.

    The whole staff lets them stay simply because they're good tippers.
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)20:17 No.15528347
    Garl's restaurant used to be a second story place above Kurtulmak's, until he collapsed it as a practical joke.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 07/09/11(Sat)20:19 No.15528358
    >>15528340
    I...I like that. I like that a lot. It's meta as hell.
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)20:22 No.15528370
    This thread has a lot of potential.
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)20:24 No.15528377
    >>15528139
    Gruumsh's Steakhouse. Where we love to serve man--try our famous ribs!
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)20:27 No.15528398
    Mystra's place failed a random inspection and was closed despite having nothing wrong with it.
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)20:28 No.15528405
    >>15528340
    >>15528358

    In fact, there's only five or so actually "evil" Drow in the place. It's a templaurant to Lloth in name only.

    The staff pretends not to notice this. They're quick to praise Lloth in between taking orders, but when somebody spills the dishes and it's time to whip them with the snake flails most of the managers are all "Ehhhh" or "I have a thing to do."

    Eilistraee considers the franchise prime convertin' grounds.
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)20:31 No.15528420
    Tiamat's fine dragons and dining
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)20:32 No.15528427
    >>15528139

    What a coincidence! Gruumsh's Meat House also loves to serve Man. And Dwarf. And Elf. Actually, it's a long menu.
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)20:35 No.15528446
    Might be 3.5, and Faerun but...

    Ristorante Savras. They know what you want before you do, and have it ready the instant you walk in. Every meal comes with one free scrying too :D

    Also, I think this is an awesome idea lol
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)20:36 No.15528458
    Morradin's Place where the ale is good and the waitresses have beards.
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)20:37 No.15528465
    >>15528427
    That's exactly what I was getting at.
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)20:39 No.15528475
    Fahrlanghans restaurant would be a great fast food place for travelers.

    Obad-Hai's restaurant would be 100 percent vegan food.

    Olidammara's (spelling?) restaurant would be that kind of sketchy place that sells really good food but you doubt if a health inspector has ever set foot inside it.
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)20:43 No.15528504
         File1310258603.jpg-(58 KB, 600x750, 144.jpg)
    58 KB
    I FINALLY HAVE A CHANGE TO USE THIS IMAGE.
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)20:43 No.15528506
    Dude, Ardarvia's restaurant.
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)20:45 No.15528517
    Oghma's menus are each the length of a decent sized book, not due to the numerous items, but to the extensive descriptions of each.

    The food is rather dry and flavorless despite this.
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)20:46 No.15528528
    >>15528504
    THAT'S AMAZING!
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)20:47 No.15528535
    >>15528528
    I know, right?

    Now, imagine that at each restaurant, there is a set of very skilled cooks/bards who preform epic tales of their god IN FOOD.
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)21:00 No.15528644
    Cyric's Madhouse!

    The only thing crazier than the food is OUR PRICES!
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)21:03 No.15528674
    >>15528644

    Literally, the prices are nuts. The steak costs two coppers. The gruel costs fifty gold. The dessert costs Pi.
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)21:07 No.15528699
    >>15528535
    So like those Japanese restaurants where they make your food in front of you with pizazz?
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)21:08 No.15528712
    Nobody can find Mask's Diner.
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)21:10 No.15528734
    >>15528644
    FUCK THAT! COME ON DOWN TO BHAAL'S HOUSE OF MURDER, THE OPEN-AIR SLAUGHTERHOUSE THAT CARES FOR EACH AND EVERY CUSTOMER! KILL YOUR OWN MEAL IN BRUTAL GLADIATORIAL COMBAT AND DEVOUR IT RAW FOR NO EXTRA COST! THIS SUMMER SEASON, EVERY PRICE MUST BE *SLASHED*!
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)21:15 No.15528768
         File1310260501.jpg-(27 KB, 275x168, food_wagon.jpg)
    27 KB
    I'm now picturing the temple of Fharlanghn as a food wagon.

    Pic Related
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)21:16 No.15528779
    Just make sure you leave a good tip at St. Cuthbert's. They'll do more than just piss in your food.
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)21:18 No.15528799
    >>15528734

    "Closed indefinitely"
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)21:21 No.15528834
    Kord's Grill Stage.
    The only place in town where you have to defeat your food before being allowed to order it.

    Esoteric Attic.
    One little pub owned by Vecna, one of the rare place where money will buy you nothing. Here we trade Diner for Secret and Memory.

    Dear OP. Consider this idea stolen.
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)21:31 No.15528903
    >>15528834
    >Kord's Grill Stage.
    >The only place in town where you have to defeat your food before being allowed to order it.

    I could do so much with this. I WILL. Thank you for having the idea, and consider it stolen.
    >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)21:33 No.15528917
    >>15528699
    Yeah!

    >>15528834
    Stealing that along with OP's idea.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)02:09 No.15530966
    This thread demands more content.

    Zehir's Outback Grill. The special glaze is a subdued venom.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)02:21 No.15531092
    Garl Glittergold's Gormet Grub
    "Waiter there's a fly in my soup! Oh wait, its rubber! Ahahahaha! "
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)02:32 No.15531178
    Pelor

    NOW YOUR COOKING WITH THE SUN

    BAM!
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)02:35 No.15531192
    Is it weird that when I looked at OP's pic's thumbnail the first thing I thought was "That looks like David Tennant's Doctor there in the middle?"
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)02:38 No.15531217
         File1310279893.jpg-(262 KB, 1280x960, 1298124441865.jpg)
    262 KB
    this is beautiful. we need archival.

    Have a gigantic fucking dessert.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)02:57 No.15531334
         File1310281059.png-(283 KB, 500x489, fractalpizza.png)
    283 KB
    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/15528042/

    Archived!
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)08:38 No.15533006
    bump!
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)10:15 No.15533616
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xc5wIpUenQ

    what diety would serve the turbaconepic?

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