>GA thread

Courting Aquilas is the only reason Custodes leave Terra.

Hell, I got half an hour. And if there is a master of Mary Sues, it is I and my vast experience of WoW Roleplaying.

Allow me to write something.

>>15287459
That's so awful it must be made so.

OH FUCK YOU FUCKING DUMBFUCKS LET THE LAST THREAD DIE WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WE YOU NOW WE'RE ALL GOING TO GET RAPED BY CAPTAIN DEMENTIA

The last thread died AGAIN? Emperor, can't /tg/ keep these alive for more than one day?

>>15287460
>WoW Roleplaying
No No No No No NO NO NO!

>>15287459
Mind if I try to one up you?

The GA are the only chapter known to have converted a Necron Tomb Lord to heir side.

They're all lesbians and prepare themselves for battle with ritual orgies

>>15287601
...Ehhhh...a bit much, but we'll see how people like it.

>>15287601
Dante and the Blood Angels did it first.

Helveticus Archival, The Venerable Brother
The only Battle Brother of the Golden Aquilas, and one of the founding members (artificially cloned from the Emperor himself to increase the purity of all the combined Geneseeds), he was deemed near-perfect in the eyes of his Chapter Sisters, except for the smallest flaw: A birthmark over his right eye. Despite this, he fought furiously alongside his Sisters, eventually earning the (short-term) love of the Chapter Mistress, Susan Superbus. The relationship was short-lived however, for he was struck down in the invasion of Krieg by the massive Ork Warboss "Warboss Squig-Chompz". He single-handedly held the line for thirty days and nights against the Green Tide, but all was lost for when the Warboss fought him himself. Seventeen feet tall, and armed with dual Powa Klawz, they battled without relent. With one foul swoop, the Warboss cleaved both legs and the left arm off of Helveticus, leaving his bleeding form on the ground. But with his final breath, he plunged his mighty Power Sword into the throat of the vicious Ork Warboss, ending both of their lives.

The rest of his chapter arrived mere moments later, in the nick of time, to save the planet from the Orks Waaagh!, in which they recovered Battle Brother Helveticus's fallen body.

Cont.

>>15287505
IT IS TOO LATE! RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!

>Intentionally making Mary Sues.

How clever.

The C'tan weren't killed by the Necrons.

Logistia enacted a tactically cunning tactical plan full of cunning and tactics, and cornered the Nightbringer.

Susan Superbus challenged the Star god to a one on one duel, but to make it fair they gave him his most powerful weapon first.

The battle was fierce, Susan inflicted many powerful wounds, and the nightbringer left her with a single thin scar on her cheek that only makes her look more awesome. Eventually, she triumphs, and defeats it. The Nightbringer realises the error of his ways, and vows to stand guard on the GA homeworld forever more.

And he also changes his form to that of an anthro wolf nightbringer.

>>15287654
>chapter made entirely of females
>one man

Why did I not think of this? This is the greatest Sue idea ever!

I'm guessing he screwed every notable battle sister and then some?

>>15287710
Bitches and Whores.

Want me to finish his story? I can pump Sue out of every orifice until he explodes into somekind of furry abomination of Olidammara.

>Mary Sue chapter
OH GOD WHY

>>15287744

No Nidhoggr, NOOOOOOOOOOOO

;_;

>>15287744
>Want me to finish his story?

Yesses. We should also work on some fluff that occurred beofre his death, seeing as how he was the only dude in the entire chapter And it would be a shame to let him go to waste with just one story.

>>15287744
As a fellow writefag of this chapter i say go for it!

Also, don't forget the drinking game! one shot for every horrified post!

>>15287783
>his death

Woahwoahwoah! Who said he died? Obviously the Aquilas brought him back to life using the power of love and faith in the Emperor!

.....right Nidhoggr?

>>15287776
Hey, I've got a bunch of pent-up aggresion towards WoW Roleplayers, due to them getting me banned just because I rolled a Dwarf who was absolutely convinced he was a robot.

This is on the same server that "Daughters of Thrall" and such were on. I shall vent with horrible write-faggotry.

Someone work on his backstory, I'll work on his Venerable Dreadnought tales.

>>15287783
>it would be a shame to let him go to waste
That's what the chapter mistress said...

>>15287809

But theres so many other awesome things to do besides contribute to this shamefull act.

>>15287823
Making complete and total Mary Sues takes less than five minutes of writing, and zero minutes of detailing.

Making a completely balanced yet unique Tyranid fleet that doesn't inspire complete RAGE as much as this SPESS MAREEN chapter? Too much time I don't have.

Plus, I find this entire chapter absolutely fucking hilarious.

>>15287854

>>15287809
Aspiring writefag here. I can do some backstory for Brother Archival.

Tell me, would I be taking it to far if I had him get a chapter captain pregnant with a girl who later became a Golden Aquila as well?

>>15287882
the chapter mistress is the mother of Caiphas Cain and the Captain of the ninth is in a relationship with Kal Draigo.


Go for it

>>15287882
NOTHING IS SACRED.

Here's a bit of Heresy for you about Venerable Dreadnought Helveticus:

Tau Weaponry
Necron Regeneration
stillsopure.jpg

Time to write the Battle against Magnus the Red.

>>15288008

NO GOD DAMN IT , STOP, LEAVE MAGNUS ALONE.

>>15288008

>Venerable Dreadnought
>Necron Regeneration

But there more or less is a dread like that.

>>15288023
Luckily for you, I don't have the time to write right now. But tonight. Tonight shall be different.

>insert evil laugh

>>15288050

Your MSN. Give it to me.

Arnoldface.jpg

Helveticus Archival, first and only battle brother of the Golden Aquilas, was a very special and great marine. Along with being the only ever male member of the chapter, Brother Archival was one of the founding members of the Aquilas and cloned from the Emperor himself. He was an incredibly skilled swordsman, a courageous warrior, a noble protector of good and an extremely charming/handsome young astartes. These qualities made Helveticus very popular, both in sense of friendship and intimacy, amongst the Aquila battle sisters who he all loved very dearly.

After joining the chapter Helveticus Archival was assigned a squad in 10th Company, led by half-eldar Sergeant Serena Starhawk (future captain of the 10th). After several battles and a display of heroic action by Helveticus the two young marines fell deeply in love, and began spending much of their leisure time in each other’s quarters.

>>15288354
After one night of wild passion Serena became impregnated with her lover’s seed, and soon gave birth to a quarter-eldar baby boy. As the boy could not become a Golden Aquila, Serena and Helveticus agreed to give him over to an agent of the Assassinorum who was an ally of the chapter. The assassin took the quarter-eldar boy to an untamed feral world where he taught him many things. Today the boy is renowned as being an extremely skilled and fearsome warrior of the Imperium, and is known to frequently assist the Golden Aquilas.

The relationship between Serena and Helveticus was shattered after the battle brother had consummated with Sergeant Ebony Dementia, the half-dark-eldar of 4th company. When Serena found out she scolded and smacked Helveticus, then proceeded attack Dementia in a vicious catfight.

Despite this incident, Brother Archival’s popularity continued to grow. Especially after tales of his abilities in bed spread by Dementia and Serena, and a legendary foursome between him, Serena, Yiffle and Logistia which is still told of today.

>>15288361
>quarter-eldar

>>15288361
>fucked a half eldar astartes
>fucked a half dark eldar astartes
>had foursome with a lesbian cat person, half eldar and TACTICAL GENIUS
Helveticus Archival = Alpha as fuck

>>15288361
Moar?

rolled 5 = 5

>>15288354
>Helveticus Archival

YES, YES!

>>15288572
That's all for now. Hope it was appropriately terrible enough.

>>15288401
What would you call a quarter-eldar? Quadrelf?

>>15288815
Do quadrelfs take Quad damage?

>>15288361
>Today the boy is renowned as being an extremely skilled and fearsome warrior of the Imperium, and is known to frequently assist the Golden Aquilas.
Now someone's got to fluff this shit out.

>>15288815
>>15288854

Does Helveticus still continue to get pussy even as a dreadnought?

We need to have moar awful fanfiction that makes no sense.

A young Golden Aquila Scout, K'laui'h Rose, whilst scouting on Armageddon, is captured by an Ork Warboss, Urgath, because she has vital information about how to save Archon Hive, where the orphanage she grew up in is. However, the Warboss Urgath is fascinated by K'laui'h, and spends long hours just talking to her in her cell, and listening to her talking about her tragic upbringing in the orphanage that only made her purer, and falls in love with her. He frees her, and they run for it, and almost escape Armageddon before Ghazghkull Thraka ambushes them. They fight, but are overmatched and K'laui'h is wounded, and gains a spiral-shaped scar on her hand in the fight, so Urgath dies letting K'laui'h escape the planet, killing Ghazghkull Thraka and all his Lieutenants to give her time to escape, and so save Archon Hive, and her orphanage. However K'laui'h's half-orc, quarter-tau heritage allows for her to be pregant with Urgath's daughter (3/4 Ork, 1/8 Human 1/8 Tau), who she names Urgas, in honour of the father, the noblest Ork who ever loved.

And now I hate myself for writefagging that.

>>15289175
I hate you for writefagging that, too.

>>15289018
of course

NO. JUST NO. GUYS, YOU WENT INSANE.

>>15289279
Yeeeah, bit too far with that one.

>>15289175
>killing Ghazghkull Thraka

Nononononononono!

The trick is to work your way AROUND canon instead of destroying it. Make it as implausible as possible without actually ignoring any pre-existing set-in-stone fluff (aside from fem marines).

I experience conflicting feelings. I both love you all and hate you to death.

>>15289298
Too far or not far enough?

NOT FAR ENOUGH, MOTHAFUCKERS!!!

Did anyone get to writing the Draigo/Captain of the 9th fic or are my efforts not yet in vain?

>>15289316
Ghazghkull Thraka comes back to life because K'laui'h cannot bear to see someone Urgath respected so much die, and so prays for him to come back to life, and due to her purity of heart, it is heard, and Ghazghkull Thraka is revived, and always knows how pure K'laui'h is, and what she did for him.

How's that?

>>15289369
Preparing to deliver.

Writefaggotry apparatus online

Writefagging commencing.....please wait

>>15289369
Yes, in the last thread. Draigo was impressed with the 9th cpatain after she managed to defeat a force of renegade Custodes.

>>15289406
Dude, you don't have to. Mine's already halfway done, and I wouldn't wish this disgusting heresy on ANYONE

I only do this because of my significant contributions to the first two threads. My soul's already damned.

>>15289298
GLORIOUS KAWAII VICTORY!

CONTINUE, MY SISTERS! WE'RE SO PERFECT THEY HAVE TO LOVE US!

>>15289018

Of course, but regular dreadnoughts are too clumsy for the GA, so they just reconstruct the marine's body and repair any damage with new parts that are even better then the original. They cannot share the technology with the other chapters, or the adatus mechcanius, because only the GA's have perfect enough bodies to warrant the repair.

Captcha: Necessity llespole

Name of a marine?

>>15289421
Damn. Oh well. Time to find another thing to writefag about.

>>15289465
How about the quarter-eldar from >>15288361

>>15289406

Writefaggotry Complete, Initializing presentation.

"Is that the last of them?" The chapter Mistress' voice asked over the Comms channel.

"Yes My Lady," answered Captain de la Fleur. "That last one was a bit tricky though. I believe he was the leader of these custodes."

"Renegade Custodes?! What, might I ask drove you to this conclusion?"

"What other force in the entire galaxy could possibly wear us down this badly? What other group could possibly wipe out the fifth company to the last woman?"

Aranelle de la Fleur, the captain of the 9th company of His Majesty's Ultimate Chapter, The Golden Aquilas waited whilst her dirty blooded commander pondered her flawless reasoning.

"She Doez Haf a point" "Seargent" Bludsplittah said. God she hated that Ork Freebootah.

Before ther Chapter Mistress could reply, the captain of the tenth, Necessity llespole Von Pier, cut in to the conversation.

"More vessels inboud m'lady. IFF confirms that it is Kal Draigo himself."

"Doubtless here to pursue these renegades" the Chapter mistress said, almost as if to herself. " Come, sisters. Let us greet them."

1/?

>>15289431
No problem at all. shocking as it may be, I actually LIKE writing this stuff. Very good way to unwind after finals.

"Doubtless here to pursue these renegades" the Chapter mistress said, almost as if to herself. " Come, sisters. Let us greet them."

+++++2 hours later+++++
The steel-grey Thunderhawk Landed in the ruined square of one of the nearby chapel-villages. Though her armor was, as always, immaculate and her natural beauty was as perfect as ever, Aranelle was forced to suppress a shudder of nervousness while the thunderhawk's ramp began to lower.

She had heard so much about Kal Draigo, how his purity could defeat evn Demon Primarchs, How his Handsome Face could convert even the staunchest supporter of Slaanesh back to the Emporer, and above all else how relentless he was in pursuit of the forces of chaos.

The ramp lowered, and she immedeatly realized that he was staring. right. at. her. She desperately tried not to blush and failed, but at least managed to blush prettily.

The chappter Mistress strode foreward, "Hell mastr Draigo, as you can see you are a little bit la-"

"Who killed their leader?" he inturrupted, still staring in, what she hoped, was admiration at Aranelle's beutiful face.

The Chapter Mistress paused, unused to being interrupted, before gesturing dismissively at Aranelle. "She did, but If you'll-"

"I must speak with her, alone." he said as he strode off into the remains of the city, clearly heading towards the chapel monestary. the only building in the village that hadn't been completely destroyed.

Aranelle stared, mouth agape at the fact that the most Famous and Handsome man in the galaxy wanted to talk to HER, before quickly regaining her senses and rushing after him.

As they walked, they discussed many things. Favored tactics, the strengths and weaknesses of various weapons, theology, and the possibility of peaceful coexistence with non-human species (both decided it was more trouble than it was worth). Kal seemed surprised at the breadth of her knowledge and her intelligence, as well as her unmatched beauty and eloquence. When they got to the chapel, they began to discuss more base subjects, such as love and desire before retiring to the basement for the night.


She never told anyone what transpired, but every once in a while she would pull out a small, hand-forged emblem of the grey knights and contemplate it, before returning to her quest to find some unknown figure that had been lost to the warp.

If she had her way, he wouldn't be gone from the imperium forever.

>>15289833
*cries*

Anyone know if that drawfag from the previous thread is done his Serena/Kharn thing yet?

>>15290084
I'm not sure. I think he was leaving it uncolored/ broke his hand for making him draw that

So for character we've got...

The Founder-with-a-ridiculously-long-name
Chapter Mistress Susan Superbus
Serena of the Tenth
Logistica of the Second
Dementia of the Fourth
Bellastasia of the Sixth
Aranelle of the Ninth
Sergeant Yiffle
Scout K'laui'h
Venerable Brother Helveticus

You know what these fuckers need? Titles.

>>15290331
Well one of Helveticus's titles is sure as fuck going to be "Chief Pimp".

>>15290331
Captain Logistica Lamperouge; Queen of Warfare, Master Strategium and Tactical Genius.

>>15290472
>Lamperouge

Also Lady of Britannia.

>>15290218
I regret nothing, but I do have another hand to use.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/15287443/

Archiving this.

>>15290331

Chapter Mistress Susan Superbus, heir of Her Legacy, Commande of Women, Seducer of Men, and Winner of the Miss Imperium Beauty Pagent

>>15290532
Meh. Titles need to be more absurd yet played-straight.

Helveticus: Masta o teh pus ay (his honaray tau name granted to him by etherals)

>>15290612
I approve of this.

>>15290331
Captain Ebony Dementia

Lady of Raven Way
Mistress of Pain
Top Bitch
the Loose Cannon

You will never be more mary-sueish than the Ice Serpents.

>>15290770
How so?

New characters outta be added to the 1d4chan page.

>>15290774
Their founder was "as strong as a Primarch."

Innate pysker abilities allowing them empathy with the hivemind

oh dear

>>15290770
Yeah but are they as kawaii as us? I thought not!

Pic related; it's our special beast mounts.

>>15290774

http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Ice_Serpents

Before some anon started trying to fix the chapter...

>The Ice Serpent chapter is an Ultra marine sucsessor chapter that actually is descendent of the Loyalist Luna Wolves.

>Original Chapter Master was said to be as powerful as the Primarchs

>originally the chapter did not know it's true lineage until the Chief Librarian Novus Inimicus revealed the truth.

>The Ice Serpents do not turn their failed Marines into severators when possible. instead Folding them into the Space Knights Company, lead by Chaplin-Captain Galeus 'Fumbles' Cycanus.

welp

>>15291024
>5th company in action

>>15291069
So it's a joke chapter, right?

>>15291024
Which one is this supposed to be?

>>15291069
Well fuck those un-cool dweebs! Our chapter is way better than them! I mean, our founder was considered the Emepror's sister. So their founder can shove it up his ass!

>>15291089
Not at all.

>>15291110
apparantly 5th company, I dunno

Hm...we must decide who is more Sue-ish.

I propose the two chapters fight to the death.

>>15287654
>Brother Archival
>forever a clone

Just thought I'd share. Nothing of any real relevance, but hey, at least I might provide something for his angst. And his certain creation of the 3rd Company as he desperately fights his own inner battle to achieve his own sense of self.

>>15291146
I'd think the chapter mistress makes more sense, being part tyranid and all.

>>15291156
NO FLEETS
NO TANKS
MELEE ONLY
ARMAGEDDON

>>15291156
GOLDEN AQUILAS VERSUS ICE SERPENTS

WHO WILL WIN?

>>15291191
The Galaxy Angels would, of course. Ice Serpents are just poorly written. The Galaxy Angels are designed to win. (And kawaii!11)

Ice Serpents would all seppuku if they were told they had to fight the Golden Aquilas.

I GOT THE WARCRY!

For the greater kawaii!

>>15291446

Think you may be confusing them with the Rising Sons there.

Sister Cerise of the Golden Aquilas smiled at the figure in front of her, ignoring the unelegant, yet still lethal Bolt gun aimed at her graceful figure.

“What is your name, Brother?”

The marine’s gauntleted hands did not tremble as he said a name by rote.

“Alpharius.”

Cerise covered her titter with an elegant hand, wreathed with garlands before letting her dainty arm fall, before smiling gently.

“No Brother, it is not. We are friends, you and I. Let us speak truly,” she whispered.

The bald marine’s eyes flicked to the side once too quickly for mortal eyes, but nothing could escape the gaze of a Golden Aquila. The man was nervous.

“Aerimus of 18th Company.”

Cerise clapped her hands together in appreciation. “Progress.”

Despite himself, Aerimus couldn’t resist a grin at the situation. Unlike the other Legions and thin-blooded Chapters of the Imperium, the Alpha Legion always spoke to their agents on even terms, giving them social skills and knowledge most did not expect of the hulking weapons. “You have me at a disadvantage lady.”

>>15292397
a lady must have some secrets,” she smiled, her cheeks dimpling as she did so.

“I confess I have no knowledge of that particular Order,” Aerimus said gently.

Cerise gasped in mock surprise, saying “Oh please do not lie and insult us both Brother. The Alpha Legion is known for two things. Their infinite knowledge, and steadfast loyalty to the Emperor.”

“You neglect several aspects Sister Valjean.”

“Cerise is fine. But no, those plans and your dealings, they stem from old wounds. Pride. Hubris. They are not what makes your Legion so great. I come with an offer from Chapter Mistress Superbus. Join us. Make our great Emperor, our Uncle’s Imperium a better place. We know what you have done to the Tau, to open their eyes. We can help each other.”

“My Legion is divided Lady. Many of us have fallen to the Ruinous Powers.”

“No, they have not. As we speak, my sisters go about cleansing their broken hearts, mending their souls from the damage the warp gods have done. Their kisses are pure, and lift the lives of all they touch. One embrace, and they shall return to the light.”

“In that case, it seems there is no downside Sister. I accept.”

Cerise pouted, a slight imperfection that nevertheless only served to highlight her beautiful lips. “Then let us be honest Cousin. I am Sister Cerise Valjean of the Golden Aquilas.”

“Alpharius Omegon. At your service.”

To the entire thread

Astropath transmission [EXPUNGED] Duct-Tertius
Destination: Operative-Cells Dercius, Gammus, Hydrus
ORIGIN:
The Eighteenth is lost with all cells and operatives. Withdraw at once and do not engage. All operatives in contact with the enemy are to be considered compromised and terminated on contact.

For the Emperor.

Sue bump.

The reason their Terminator Armour and Dreadnoughts are so powerful is that the Tech-Priests of Mars gave them a complete, working STC to make their equipment from.

The STC in question is the ur-STC, that created all the other STCs, and was created by the Emperor himself, who gave it life. Unfortunately, it had fallen dormant because it was the only complete, uncorrupted STC left in existence, and so was full of angst. However, by the power of the purity, faith and attitude of the Golden Aquilas managed to drag it from its brooding introspection, and show it the light of the Emperor once more.

Also, because it is so powerful, and so pure, it can modify itself with other technology - Eldar, Chaos, Tau, Necron, Ork - and still remain uncorrupted as it produced sanctified versions of heathen tech.

How's that?

>>15287776
I dont have an MSN, but I do have a Yahoo.

Damn I'm late, reading over stories to cry and cringe.

His body broken and shattered, to the point that not even the divinity of the Sisters of the Golden Aquila's could revive him whole, Helveticus Archival was interned into a Venerable Dreadnought from the Holy Forge of Mars. But there was a quirk: This Venerable Dreadnought was based on a newer STC archetype, recently discovered by a fellow Spes- Space Marine chapter. It was classified as the 'Icelus Pattern Dreadnought', an amazing specimen of technology that incorporates stealth technology and emphasizes mobility.

But the Techmarines of the Golden Aquilas found this pattern wanting. Through a direct revelation of the Omnissiah, the Techpriestesses crafted weapons and armanents into the Dreadnoughts frame.

A sword of solidified plasma, able to cut through the toughest metals and the hardest carapace.

A Storm Shield crafted for the size of this new Dreadnought, able to defend against the fiercest of blows and the strongest of weaponry.

And an assault pack with the power and strength to send the Dreadnought soaring through the air to crash into the enemies of the Emperor.

This new Icelus Dreadnought was thus dubbed:
"Untraced Golden Aquilas Dreadnought Model 1.0 version OC: DNS"

>Mary Sues: Stealing from everyone. Claiming as their own.

>>15296948
Eisenhorn had a blade of solidified plasma, but his was blessed by the Provost of Inx.

>>15297002
The last part was more or less aimed at the Emperors Nightmares. And to make the Dreadnought more weaboo-esque.

Bumping.

If you're going to have a single man in the chapter, he has to be either not a marine or hopelessly incompetent. (Ken Akamatsu demands it) A large amount of the women must be tsundere towards him, and he must accidentally end up in compromising positions with them constantly.

Needless to say, he must be their butt monkey.

>>15297547
Hmm... I think this is as Mary Sue as you can get... Well, except have him have an annoying Harem of GA's following him around while he shows absolutely no interest in any of them, and the one person he does like (read Susan Longbus) shows no more interest in him due to FOREVER DREADNOUGHT.

Bump.

>mfw a GA thread finally made it through the night without dying

>>15297602
>>15297547
Well if we combine that idea with this >>15288361 we get a once skilled and handsome pimp-warrior loved by all the battle sisters who, after becoming a dreadnought, lost most his charisma, although many Aquilas still fantasize about getting inside his sarcophagus and seeing if he still possesses his once legendary skills in bed.

>>15299415
Nah. Obviously he is still a pimp. He just got the armoury to install a lot of mechadendrites and add a vibrator setting to his powerfists.

>>15299470
Although he rarely gets to use them since everyone is so tsundere towards him (especially the much kawaii Serena Starhawk).

Will the GA be taking part in the Tiji sector crusade?

>>15299626
Doubtful. They'd probably destroy the entire thing and rape every other Chapter/Warband/Waaagh!/Sept/Regiment/Kabal/Craftworld/Hive-Fleet/Tomb World.

It's what they do best: win. (And look good doing it.)

Bump.

>>15299707
I'd have a problem with that.

But anyways, we need more Mary Sues. For example, we have no techpriests. And everyone loves hot, skimpy tech priestesses with mechadentrites.

Can 8th company (that's the on with the uber psykers right?) be led by a half-human, quarter-ork, quarter-tau?

>>15302165
What's the pic of?

>>15301648
Golden Aquila techmarines can fill that role.

>>15302571
Can we get a Chapter Quartermaster then?

Writefag here. I get some fluff done with an Aquila techmarine soon.

RANDOM QUESTION! How was Tzeentch created in the 40K universe?

Guys, Golden Aquilas doesn't sound kawaii enough! WE SHOULD BE THE GALAXY ANGELS!!111 uguuu

>>15303436
>RANDOM QUESTION! How was Tzeentch created in the 40K universe?

Well, you see, Big Daddy Tzeentch and Big Mommy Tzeentch got drunk together one night...

Hes their favorite accident, lol.

>>15299470
He is the Pimplord Supreme. EVEN IN DEATH I STILL GET BOOTY. I also imagine him as the only actual person with a normal mindset for the 40k universe.

I got a few more hours. Anyone want to see more abominable Helveticus Archival write-faggotry?

(Who said that Mary Sues had to be hated?)

>>15303841
what.

>>15303436

40,000 years ago, a black man won the Presidential Election in America...

Edys ex Machina is widely regarded as one of the greatest techmarines the Golden Aquilas have to offer. Stunningly gorgeous like all Aquilas, sister Edys remains beautiful even with a bionic arm and leg, both crafted from the remains of a necron lord she slew. The techmarine wears a red cloak given to her by a former techpriest lover who once overlooked the Aquila’s forge world.

One of the most talented techmarines ever, Edys gained the rank in her teens due to her truly amazing abilities and intellect. Along with being a brilliant artificer she is an expert warrior. Edys uses a form of literal techno-sorcery, using her natural psychic abilities to manipulate materials, elements and mechanics.

(continuing)

>>15303841
>Anyone want to see more abominable Helveticus Archival write-faggotry?
YES PLEASE

And if you find a way to wedge in tsun-tsun Serena I will love you forever.

>mfw this thread

Jesus Christ, /tg/, reading some of this stuff is making me physically ill.

>>15304144
then they'er doing it right

>>15304074
>bionic arm and leg
>red cloak
>techno-sorcery

WAIT A SECOND

>>15304090
Alright, give me a few moments. Gotta write a 'Beauty and the Beast' style bit of eye-napalm.

>>15304074
Edys has accomplished more in her few years than most techpriests/marines do in their entire lives. This includes having slain an instant-regenerating necron lord on her own, having used here psychic-tech powers to cause a Tau Cadre’s weapons to fire upon their wielders, managing to take control of an enemy renegade titan from outside, and turning an entire tomb world’s necrons passive.

Her most notable accomplishment, however, is personally knowing and having spoken to the Dragon of Mars. The two hold a close bond, and it is believed by that Edys is actually a “daughter” to the Dragon, her abilities being blessed with all the powers of the Machine Spirit.

Edys maintains most of the Golden Aquila’s equipment and forges almost all the personal wargear of its leaders. Her skills are so amazing the techpriest lords and forge masters from all over the nearby sectors come to seek her talents. Anything she touches becomes blessed by the Machine Spirit and anything she forges is beyond master-crafted.

>>15304251
>it is believed by that Edys is actually a “daughter” to the Dragon
Stop...PLEASE JUST STOP!

>>15304251
Well, I've been out-Sued. OR HAVE I?
+++++
The internment process of Helveticus Archival did not go without its few issues. The several hundred mourning Sisters trying to touch his glorious, ravaged body, his divinity at first preventing the augmentations of the Dreadnought chassis from correctly synchronizing with his nervous system, it was through the iron-will and the knowledge of one of his former lovers that brought him back to this world in the magnificent form that he has now. That former lover of his was Edys ex Machina, the Daughter of the Dragon. She could not bear the thought of Helveticus's masculinity to be obscured by the iron tomb of the Dreadnought. So, during a night when the Golden Aquilas were doing their rites, she snuck back into the armory, and began to work on the Venerable Brothers chassis, adding some 'additional' bits of armory.

Helveticus's first sight upon awakening within his new frame was of the beautiful Daughter of the Dragon lying on top of his sarcophagus, her bare augmented breasts pressed against his tomb, as her skin was drenched in sweat.

"...I AM AWAKE, BATTLE SISTER. IS IT TIME FOR BATTLE?"
+++++
Points to those who got the reference.
:D

>>15291027

>>15304173
Problem, anon?

>>15304350
Brother Helveticus: Playa for life

>read over stories
>cry

>>15304769
We're doing it right. KEEP UP THE WRITEFAGGOTRY.

Also, need suggestion for next Helveticus story.

Bamp.

>>15304822
I demand a story with ex-lover Serena and while Helveticus is in his dreadnought.

>Come back to thread
>Alpharius converted
>Mary Sue dreadnought
>FMA sues

>>15308093
Don't forget Mary Sue dreadnoughts banging FMA sues!

>>15307451
This. SerenaXHelveticus is a must.

Buuuump!

WHY?!?!

>>15308698
Because it's fun.

Reporting in! Selena on Helveticus action, eh?

Well, first I need a confirmation of the rules of /tg/.

We're not allowed to post porn pics, right? But what about writefaggotry thats relating to /tg/?

>>15309454
>We're not allowed to post porn pics, right?
Aye.
>But what about writefaggotry that's relating to /tg/?
Not sure about that...what if you posted in on 1d4chan?

>>15309454
Make sure that Serena is uber-tsundere. I mean, this guy got her pregnant then screwed her rival.

>>15309749
Do you guys want me to?

>>15309454
drawfag here, thats true, i got banned for drawing porn. still on ba but i'm drawing one marine from each company and will post here when finished

>>15309767
Yes pwease.

>>15309796
Very well, I'll post a link after I'm finished.

Done yet Nidhoggr?

>>15309454
How about if you just do it? The best known /tg/ writefags produced, some exclusively, rape porn faster than Larry Flynt could publish it. Hoop and Xiombar never received as much as a slap on the wrist.

Bump.

Has anyone done the Chief Librarian yet? If not, I call dibzees.

Darkness of the Drop Pod.
The heat of the roiling atmosphere scorched over his iron frame, invigorating his glorious, decrepit frame.
And then the solid, enigmatic crunch as the landing device slammed into something, most likely the planet itself.
The doors blew themselves off the hinges, as the Golden Aquila Class Dreadnought barreled out the cage of steel and ceramite. He gazed around, admiring the scenes of war around him, before looking down at his 'feet'. He was standing on top of the corpse of a Carnifex, apparently a victim of the pods landing.

"Nice Timing, Brother Helveticus! That horrible monstrosity was just about to slay me with one foul blow! I predicted it, but you saved me as through some unforeseen divine occurence!"

Helveticus turned, and saw none other than Sister Serena Starhawk. If he were capable of still doing so, he would have beamed down at her. She was magnificent in every way, as every member of the Golden Aquilas were. From her glorious, curving hips to her magnificent bosom, so barely contained by her Wraithbone Armor, and all the way up to her half-Eldar ears, which he knew... Well, used to know how to touch just right.

But this was not the time to be thinking of such things, for there was a battle going between the Golden Aquilas and the Tyranids.

"DO NOT PRAISE ME BATTLE-SISTER, UNTIL OUR VICTORY IS AT HAND! WE FIGHT FOR THE EMPEROR, AND SPREAD HIS JUDGEMENT ACROSS THE UNIVERSE! TO ARMS!"

cont

>>15310720
The mere sight of the Venerable Brother inspired his Sisters to battle harder, gunning down the Tyranid fleet with haste. Sisters of the Eight Company were confusing the fodder by mimicking the Synaptic pulses of the leader creatures, as others simply dominated them, turning them against eachother.
Sisters of the Tenth company flew like cherry blossoms in the wind through the Tyranid forces, striking down foe after foe before the Hivemind could comprehend its own losses.
Tyranid losses mounted, and before long they retreated back to their digestion pools, saving what little biomass remained. Yet another noble victory for the Golden Aquilas...

Venerable Brother Helveticus Archival, loaded up on a Thunderhawk to be transported back to the Battle Barge 'The Fury of the Emperors Fury', was being operated by several Techpriestesses, before Serena Starhawk appeared in the door of the armory, nodding courteously to all those within.

"If you mind, I'd like to speak to our Venerable Brother before you put him into stasis. I need to properly thank him for saving my life earlier."

Edys ex Machina, the lead Techpriestess working on Helveticus's repairs, seemed to glare at Serena as if knowing her intentions.

"Battle Brother needs to return to stasis immediately. He has strained himself too much during that battle, and we do not want to stress his divine frame."

Serena glared at Edys, before smiling coldly at her. "I assure you, this will not take more than a few hours, Techmarine. And I do not think it is in your decision to make Brother Percivals decisions for him."

The Daughter of the Dragon and Starhawk seemed to glare at the Dreadnought, as if to seek his opinion on the matter.

"... LET US SPEAK IN PRIVATE, THEN."

(cont)
>On another note, Mary Sues don't really need a reason to start fuck, now do they?

(I'm a slow typer, and this is on the fly. Please don't kill me. Oh wait. These are Mary Sues. You already WANT to kill me.)

>>15310741
And now I'm bored and lacking ideas.

Roll for threesome?

>>15310741
>>15310720
This writing, I like it!

MORE!

>>15310830
First Serena has to go all tsundere bitch on Helveticus.
Then threesome with Dementia.

rolled 13 = 13

>>15310830
THREESOME WITH EDYS

>>15310842

... Alright, define your version of tsundere. We obviously have different versions.

And if you haven't noticed, I'm trying to make my writing as Sueish as possible, making every bitch godlike and GAWJESS.

As a bonus, give me music to write to.

>People not getting this thread is supposed to be satire.

>>15310830
Dreadnought performing a brutal anal penetration, while what is left of his prostate is being stimulated by the techpriestess.

There is no God.

>>15310853
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oECIKVaz5rc

>>15310853
>Alright, define your version of tsundere.

Serena hitting him while going all "FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH! HOW DARE YOU HAVE A CHILD WITH ME THEN TURN AROUND AND FUCK THAT STUPID DARK-ELDAR BITCH RAAAAAAAAAH!"
Then she jumps on him and starts grinding/humping furiously.

And music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbYtqAWDF2U&feature=related

>>15310879
Or "YOU ENJOYED TEARING APART THAT SLAANESHI TRAPNOUGHT, DIDN'T YOU?!"

>>15310860
Don't be ridiculous! The awesomeness of the Golden Aquilas isn't "satirical". It's pure serious awesome!

>>15310888
>>15310888
Yes

UNACEPTABLE SERENAS ALREADY WITH A SWELL GUY WHY WOULD SHE CHEAT
TEAM KHARNE Khar/ena

>>15310896
HA! Screw that, everyone knows Helveticus/Serena is the best couple.

Helvena FTW!

I have got to start requesting for Helveticus Drawfaggotry. Anyways, back to writing. Looks like Edys + Serena + MECHANICAL GOODNESS. I'm sorry if it reads anything like TWINS THEY WERE.

>>15310906
Kharne is better. he can turn into a were wol.... wait what?!?!?!

>>15310906
OHHH yeah technically helveticus's power fist is a saint in its own right ever since it brofisted bjorn

NEW CHARACTER. I just want some random imperial guardsman that got press ganged into being a (concubine HERESY) SERF. hes sort of the straight man of the chapter. (NOT A MARINE) he is a SERF. Maby hes the only male serf dunno. This is not related to my sexual in anyway. whatsoever. Maby a little

>>15310977
You're late, bub. Helveticus is THE dude of the Chapter.

Make sure to put it on 1d4chan when finished.

>>15311000
No what hes trying to say he thought helveticus was the only space marine. the dude hes talking about is some metphorical manifestation of his fap fantasy. whos a serf

>>15311011
GOTHIC MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!

BUMPITY DUMPITY

>>15311030
Fine, point out my errors so i may better myself.

>>15311011
Why are you talking about yourself in the third person?

And Helveticus fucks everyone. There's your fapfantasy. Read the 1d4chan article.

>>15311041
"," and ".". Use them. Don't be afraid, they're your friends.

Edys ex Machina, defeated, left the armory, glaring back at Serena. Serena strolled in and grabbed what looked to be a power wrench, before standing in front of the Dreadnought, the tool hidden behind her back.
"I thought you said you didn't love me anymore."

"... HAVE I EVER DEJECTED FROM MY CURRENT MINDSET?"

"You saved me today. Obviously you still have feelings for me! Why do you act so playful when we're alone together, yet you put up a front whenever we're around others! You act as if we're not together!"

The Dreadnought looked around, locating all the nearby exits... And noting that all but one was blocked. "...BUT I BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT I WAS 'THE LECHEROUS, UNFAITHFUL BASTARD AND I DESERVED MY CURRENT FATE'."

Selena smiled at Helveticus, stepping forward to rest a hand on his tomb. "I was angry at the time. I know you are the only man in our chapter, and I know how hard it is to resist temptations from the most beautiful daughters of the Emperor... But you did say that we would be together forever, did you not?"

The line made him regret being sarcastic, but he does not get every opportunity to be so. "BUT DID I LIE, BATTLE-SISTER? WE -ARE- TOGETHER. ON THIS SHIP. JUST AS MUCH AS I AM HERE TOGETHER WITH THE REST OF THE SISTERS."

Serenas face contorted in anger, before she jumped at the Dreadnoughts vision slot, slamming the Power Wrench against it, sending the Dreadnought reeling backwards.

"IT WAS A JOKE, SISTER. BUT I STAND BY THAT I AM HERE FOR MY SISTERS AND THE BATTLES. LAY DOWN YOUR ARMS, OR I WILL BE FORCED TO ENGAGE WITH FORCE."

Selena continued to slam the wrench against his sarcophagus, laying dents within its adamantium hull. Streams of tears continued to pour down her face, before screaming violently at the Dreadnought.

"You were meant to be chaste in this form! This was meant to stop you from sleeping with all the other women! This was to make sure that you'd be mine forever, and mine alone! Why would you do this to me?!"

Helveticus grabbed the Power Wrench and ripped it from her hands, sending it flying into the adjacent wall. He reached down and picked her up roughly by her mid-section, lifting her so her face was at level with his vision slot.

"BECAUSE I AM HERE FOR THE BITCHES. LOVE ME OR HATE ME, I CARE NOT, FOR I LOVE ALL OF YOU EQUALLY. SHARE IN MY LOVE, OR STAY AWAY FROM ME. BUT REMEMBER WHO IT IS YOU FIGHT ALONGSIDE, AND KNOW THAT OUR PETTY EMOTIONS MEAN NOTHING IN THE EYES OF OUR EMPEROR."

He waited until she calmed down, before setting her on the floor.
Unfortunately, the straps to her wraithbone armor caught on a bolt in his hand. When he pulled back, the strap snapped, and the armor came with his hand leaving a bare-breast Half-Eldar standing before him, covering herself up while screaming and blushing, glaring up at the Dreadnought with a look of pure hatred.

Helveticus began to flail his arm around, trying to dislode the trapped armor from his hand.
"WHOOPS, MY BAD!"

>>15311146
Anyways, I'm going to go find a gun to shoot myself with. One, because I find this so laughably horrible, that I'm ashamed. And two, I'm a terrible writefag.

>>15311140
>>15311146
Man, this is so deep and emotional.

>>15311168
You write better shit on the fly than I write in a week. Continue or I will guarantee the skinhead gang of your campus makes a visit that doesn't include drinking tea and having good time.

>>15311183
I know right? It's very serious and touching, even by normal Aquila writefaggotry standards.

>>15311183
Its like if Edward and Bella got into a fight. ;_;

>>15311188
Jesus Verg, ._. I forgot you're watching me type.
Alright, let me get a wall of text going here.

>>15311209
Damn right I'm watching. 02:11? Sleep is for the weak.

That is perfectly Sue-y, normally there is no room for other emotions than hate and rape in the grimdarkness.

"Why don't you ever say you love me?"
"REMEMBER WHEN I TOLD YOU I LOVE YOU WHEN WE GOT MARRIED?"
"Yes-"
"I WILL INFORM YOU IF THE SITUATION CHANGES."

>circum wheded
Circumcised? No, I not. Damn it feels good to have a foreskin.

Taking a break. Gonna brainstorm the rest of the plot/hang out with family so I can drop the illusion of looking anti-social.

>>15311340
DAMN YOU! I must know who this emotional conflict between the two former lovers ends! IT'S SO FUCKING TENSE

>>15311340
>Illusion
Cool story bro.

Check PM.

Bumping.

Serena stood there, her face calm as she tried to maintain control of her temper as the Dreadnought struggled to remove the armor from his other hand.
Helveticus gave one final shake of his hand, and the armor flew and clattered across the floor, before hitting the wall. He stood there awkwardly, gazing down at Serena's figure. Her luscious, D cup sized breasts, barely contained behind her crossed arms. Her thick, pouty lips, with the lightest sneer behind them making her that much sexier when shes angry. And the way her skin seemed to glow in the low light of the hangar bay made it all the more exquisite. And yet... Here he was, stuck inside this metal chassis and deriving no pleasure from the blessings he gives to his Battle Sisters. Oh how he wished to be alive again to touch that blessed flesh!

"ARE YOU GOING TO STAND THERE, OR ARE YOU GOING TO GO GET YOUR ARMOR AND LEAVE? YOUR THANKS HAVE BEEN ACCEPTED." He grumbled, with a billow of smoke pouring from an exhaust vent.

"But I have not even begun to thank you, Helveticus." She walked slowly up to the Dreadnought, unfolding her arms and pressing herself against his metal shell. His CQC cameras showed various angles of the woman in front of him, and you could almost feel the simmering anger coming from within him.

"AND HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO THANK ME, SISTER STARHAWK? BY GIVING YOUR BODY TO ME? I'M A DREADNOUGHT FOR THE EMPERORS SAKE."

She rapped her knuckles on his vision plate, before hoisting herself up to leer into his dark tomb. "You liar. I very well know you've been pleasing women somehow with this form of yours. They talk about it all the time, and don't you dare call the Sisters liars!"

Emperor Damn Them and their loose tongues!

>>15312063
Proceed.

With the closest thing to a sigh his form could make, the Dreadnought vented a billow of steam.

"TECHPRIESTESS EDYS. I KNOW YOU ARE LISTENING. COULD YOU PLEASE COME IN HERE?"

With a muttered curse, the Daughter of the Dragon appeared around the corner, walking swiftly up to the two. "Selena Starhawk, Commander of the Tenth Company. Venerable Brother Helveticus Percival. How may I be of assistance?" Her voice was laden with sarcasm and bitterness, as typical of a Battle Sister of the Third Company.

"YOU WERE THE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR MY AUGMENTATIONS AND MY CURRENT PREDICAMENT, SO YOU SHALL BE THE ONE TO SHOW HER."

Edy's mechadentrites flailed around, betraying her emotions while she stood stock still. "I'm afraid that would be improper of me. Are you sure you don't want to introduce them to her yourself?... Like, alone?" ex Machinas face began to flush a bright red, and her optics began to flash in a multitude of colors.

"NOPE. THAT'S YOUR JOB, AS IT WOULD DO ME A DISHONOR TO YOU TO DISPLAY YOUR HANDIWORK WITHOUT YOUR PRESENCE." It seemed as if the Dreadnought knew how to force someone into doing something.

The Daughter of the Dragon grumbled, before muttering a single "I'll be right back". She disappeared into a darker part of the armory, before coming back with a massive crate behind her, being towed by six servitors. The servitors aligned themselves around the box, and unbolted the top off. They lifted the lid, and gently placed it right next to the box, in which the topless Serena went over to observe what was inside the box, accompanied by Erys ex Machina.

>>15312281
I like what I'm reading.

Sooo... Let's do a little game called "Let's roll to see what's in the box".

1d100 if you will. I may as well make the rest of this thread into an RPG. All in favor?

rolled 33 = 33

A cake! With pink icing! And sugar! And icing smiley faces!

rolled 72 = 72

>>15312343
Obviously it's the machine that hooks into his dreadnaught form, causing it to transformer into him laying on a bed, his form perfect except for where bunches of wires connect to his missing limbs and flow out of his head like hair.

Because these are Mary Sues, and they don't care about how dreadnaughts are supposed to work, damnit. He's probably slowly regenerating, anyway. A few more centuries and he'll probably be ready to crawl out and put on his power armor again. Fucking Sues.

>>15312516
Sadly, as boring as this is, not a lot of Sues enjoy Necrophilia. Reroll.

rolled 32 = 32

>>15312343
ROLLING FOR BLISSGIVER

rolled 44 = 44

Necron dildo.

rolled 73 = 73

A force didlo that connects to his cock.

rolled 73 = 73

A dildo sword.

>>15312281
NOOOOO DONT DO IT YOU SON OF A BITCH THIS OUT OF HAND THIS TG FOR CRYING OUT LOUD

rolled 62 = 62

So wait...the half-dead pimp entombed in armour is going to fuck a emotional half-elf weeaboo and a female Astartes-version of Edward Elric?

FUCKING MARY SUES

>>15313268
YUS.
>>15313243
Don't worry, it's going to get alot worse. Shame that Mary Sues don't enjoy Guro. Least thats fun to write.

For the sheer hell of not allowing this story to go to shit, we shall do Power Drill.

>>15313379
>Power Drill
Oh lordy. Our fair Serena's waist won't be the same after this.

>>15313476
You kidding me? Shes forever the tightest cunt of GA. Just like all the other snowflakes.

Kharne as warrior of Khorne was slightly miffed seeing the situation he was in. He remembered he was part of some warforce dicken’ (he didn’t really care about the details) around in the subsector, he was bored and joined in. They landed (the chaos forces) on some craptastic agriworld, and Kharne did his thing, he killed some imperials and he killed some chaos. He did his berserker rage, what can I say it was tried and true. But then what do you know when DooMOTHERFUCKINGRIDER bursts out of the anus of an imperial titan. Looking up he saw the cabin was filled with a white substance. The very same substance trailing the ectastic bike warrior. Ol’ Doomie walks up to kharn, stares at the flesh helm hes bludgeoning to death and calm elabaerates “your so negative man, we never hang out anymore. Dude what ever happened to bros before FOLLOWERS OF THE CORPSE GOD”. Kharne responds with a angry ROAR, and fumbles to rip off one of DOOMIES 8 dicks. The biker calmly throws some white powder into the berserkers grille. Kharne remembers slowly that there was another chapter landing soon after, full of …… He slowly turns his head towards the Human? Eldar? sleeping there. Kharne was very confused. He did not want to rip her head off and shove it in to her body cavity. This new emotion or rather lack of one irked him so. This clarity of thought was troublesome. Basic and old instincts indoctrinated through hypnotherapy started to rise, but he crushed them and stared at the beauty .
BE honest guys how bad?

>>15313536
Shit i forgot to space it out, my bad

>>15313536
It's not bad, but this chapter is meant to be reserved for terrible writefags.

And honestly, it was terrible. Mine is terrible. This entire thread is terrible. AND I'M SUPPOSED TO BE WRITING.

>>15313536
>BE honest guys how bad?
Awful. So you're doing it right.

>>15313588
Grammaticly it was terrible, or the story?
Also i feel your pain but its so MUCH fun. also good luck with your power drill

Within the confines of the chest, was a glorious, massive boring drill... At least, thats what it looked like. It was oddly shaped, having a distended tip towards the end. And then it dawned upon Serena as she stared at it. It was a phallus. Or what looked to be a Power Drill -converted- into a phallus. Serena slowly looked towards Erys ex Machina, who simply kept her crimson face hidden underneath her acolytes robes, as the Dreadnought approached quietly behind them.

"BEHOLD THE DEVICE WHICH OUR LOYAL TECHPRIESTESSES HAVE DEVISED, AND LOOK UPON IT WITH DETEST. FOR IF NOT THROUGH THE SACRED BLESSINGS OF OUR DIVINITY, AND OUR BLESSINGS FROM THE EMPEROR HIMSELF, THIS DEVICE WOULD BE CLASSIFIED UNDER SLAANESHIAN HERESY. BUT IT IS THROUGH OUR WILL THAT WE CAN USE IT WITHOUT LOSING OUR SOUL."
+++++
Meanwhile, in the Eye of Terror
Slaanesh is simply watching this entire situation, banging his head against a golden statue of himself while crying profusely.
+++++
"BUT FOR THE PURITY OF OUR CHAPTER, THIS OBJECT MUST REMAIN A SECRET... WHICH OF COURSE, IS POINTLESS NOW SINCE YOU SISTERS CAN'T KEEP YOUR MOUTHS SILENT."

Serena reached out in order to try and touch it, but one of Ery's mechadentrites reached out and prodded her hand. "Please do not touch the sacred armament unless it is mounted on the Venerable Brothers frame."

Serena Starhawk cringed, and simply went about looking at the device. It was odd indeed, and there was a very tiny, dismal part inside of her who thought this device reeked of heresy. Yet her insides churned and warmed, wondering how it would feel to have such a magnificent device within her.

"And this is how you please all the Battle Sisters now?"

"UNFORTUNATELY, YES. WE ARE AWAITING FOR OUR APOTHECARIANS TO DIVINE A WAY TO REGENERATE ME TO MY FORMER SELF."

(Con't)

I'm officially hating myself. Yet the hate feels so good.

>>15313613
It's a syntax, grammar, and spelling mess. Try using Spellcheck in Word.

>>15313817
Someone Else.
I feel corrupt. Dirty. Impure.

Is this how it feels to fall to Chaos?
Is this how it feels to be Stephanie Meyer?

>>15313861
No, Nidhoggr, you become Stephanie Meyer when you look at
>>15311140
and
>>15311146
And think "Yeah....I've done well."

Archive this, going to bed.

I'd call this a spite bump, but I'm laughing too hard.

>>15314720
Y'know, the really fucked up part is that the more characterization is injected, even that meant to mean-spirited, the better it gets. The realer the characters feel.
You feel it, don't you. They're becoming a kind of sympathetic. Almost...interesting. They are starting lack the truly cardboard nature of the genuinely awful Sue. Selena's meant to be despicably flawless, but she just lost her temper and had a wrench-pounding fight with her mildly unfaithful Ex.
That's a pretty respectable amount of personality, no matter how glorious her carriage (tit-tays for the traditionalist) or how pouty her impossibly perfect lips.
Already she's better characterized then all the canon Sues.
Out of the Ultramarines, the Blood Angels, the Space Wolves, the Black Templars, the Grey Knights -how many named Marines have genuine distinct personality traits? Three? Four? Calgar, Telion, Shrike, Loki (whatever his name is the Space Wolf)?
Really the worst of it is how so many of the Ward Warriors have done so much, but remain so uninteresting.

>>15316484
God fucking dammit our freaking uber Mary Sues have more characterization and depth than most canon space marines...

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD?!

>>15316484
"Malicious, backstabbing, and bickering" seems to be a common Golden Aquila characterization...

>>15316484
So what you're saying is I'm failing at creating a fail character for a fail chapter.

FUCK.

>>15318773
It's still fun/horrible to read though.

Moar, Nidhoggr?

Guys, obviously the sarcophagus Helveticus is interred in is based off the Golden Throne, but instead of just keeping him in stasis, it slowly regenerates his body.

But Guilliman doesn't get this miraculous piece of work because he's icky.

Bumping.

Don't fret folks, I'm writing something. It's going to be awhile though, like all of my posts. So relax, sip some Earl Grey, and add suggestions for the Sue Chapter.

>>15320809
Well, I'm still pushing changing GA to Galaxy Angels.
There is an animu by that name, I've never seen it and I don't care, but it is a very nice fit.

Armored Vehicles.
What have the GA's got so far?
My ideas:
Penitent Engines with Void Shields. Failing GA's only have to use them once to attract the Emperor's forgiveness. Naughty Mechadendrites/restraints/interface elements on the PE optional. And satisfying.

A Predator variant that has D-Cannons on it's sponsons, and a pair of Death Spinners/Mega Bolters as it's turret weapons. Reward firing ejection seats prevent the crew from ever being harmed by the vehicle's destruction (actually they teleport them backwards a safe distance -Ork-derived tech, 0% chance of being lost to the warp).

Landspeeder "Phantoms" that use Eldar/Tau-hybridized tech to be actually invisible to conventional detection as well as to Radar, thermal, sonar, SMELL, etc, etc. Also able to mount Stealth Drone Launchers instead of the normal weapon selections. Stealth Drones have 24hr combat battery lives, are sunlight/water immersion rechargable, and mount Astartes sniper weapons and blessed heavy flamers.

"True" Exorcist tanks. Missiles fire consistently at max volume, can swap warheads before impact for either fragmentation or anti-armor, have a 98% hit ratio selectively targeting things as small as the asshole of a Carnifex, and can "smart" navigate terrain as tight as a Ravenor's tunnel at near Mach 1. The Organ fire interface itself is actually a Blues piano, and in addition to being easier to play it generates Faith with every note.

KHORN PORN

Standard Aquila Stats

WS 4
BS 4
S 4
T 4
W 1
I 4
A 1
Ld 10
Sv 3+ (6+ invulnerable)

Wargear: Combi-bolter, bolt pistol, power weapon (can be upgraded to force), frag grenades, krak grenades, shield, Aquila power armour

Special Rule: Better Than You. Each indiviual Aquila may be given a +1 boost to any stat, or -1 in the case of invulnerable/armour saves.

>>15321244
>KHORN
>WHERE'S THE FUCKING 'E'?!

As for an update on the story, its saved to my Android right now, I plan to finish up the next two or three pages by tomorrow. Someone archive this since the guvmint facility I'm at won't let me.

>>15313536
KHAREN/SERENA SEX AND HERESY EVERY WERE MORE YOU WRITEFAG

>>15321264
It's already archived.

ARMY LIST!

HQ: Special Characters only

Elites: 8th company psyker squad, Aquila Dreadnoughts, 1st company terminators, 3rd company daemon warriors, 2nd company sergeants squad, 9th company knight squad

Troops: Aquila squad, Allied xenos squad, 6th company beauties, 4th company butchers, 5th company pure-marines

Fast Attack: 7th company assault squad, 10th company scouts, Tamed beasts, Half-beast Aquilas, Phantom landspeeders, Bikes, Allied xeno jump-bikes

Heavy Support: Land raiders, D-cannon predators, Devastator squad, Aquila Penitent Engines, True Exorcists

The Golden Aquillas have an entire legion of Castigator-Class Titans they made from their STC. Normally the Castigator's AI would result in Tech-Heresy, but the Techpriest's devotion to the Omnissiah overrides that. Also they are friends with the last remaining colony of the Men of Iron.

>>15321812
Oh my God.

Keep this alive for me folks, I'm gonna finish writing these next three pages by the end of tonight, but they probably won't be on /tg/ until tomorrow morning. In the meantime, go ahead and update the 1d4chan page.

Golden Aquilas mounts (same size as Fenrisian wolves).

>>15322145
DAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWW!!!11 SO KAWAII!!!

>>15322069
When "tonight" where you are? Because here in the northern-lands it's right now.

The Captain of the Third Company is Shadowshade Blacknight, a brooding melancholy queen of darkness, half Daemon, half human. She enjoys sitting in the dark and writing awful poetry. Despite this, she has the most common sense, often complaining about how "Fifth company should be all shot" and "Why the fuck didn't we give that STC to the Mechanicus?". However, most of these glimpses of wisdom are drowned out by her constant brooding over her DAAAAAARK AND MYSTERIOUSSSSSS PAAAAAST, and attempts to get away from any attempts to socialize with her. It is rumored she is the only Aquilla Helveticus hasn't slept with yet.

Bumped from page 11. Don't know why, don't even play 40k. I guess that I feel all giddy inside knowing I contributed something, however slight. Yeah that must be it.

Bumping. Story just about completed. Sex scene still has yet to begin, that's how Sue this is.

>>15313775
Sister Serena blinked as she gazed upon Helveticus, her mind reflecting back upon the past. "Is that even possible after you've been integrated with a Dreadnought?"

Edys ex Machina chimed in, stating in a monotone voice "It is theoretically possible, with the right applications of biomancy and a thorough upgrade of the life support systems. And due to our divine status, we do not require the Adeptus Mechanicus's approval to work on our own designs. We will have a prototype out within the next millenia or so."

Selena smiled an approval, before gazing down at the modified drill lying within its coffer. It was quite impressive indeed, and it spoke of Edys's handiwork. The 'shaft' of the phallus was at an impressive thirteen inches, and roughly one and a half inches wide. She could scarcely imagine that the thing would fit within her, let alone anyone else of the chapter. And yet... She could not help but imagine herself straddling this Dreadnoughts fist as the drill bored deep into her, spreading her insides so widely, and filling her with pure ecstasy.

"SISTER STARHAWK, YOU ARE LOOKING FLUSHED." Venerable Brother Helveticus spoke aloud, almost smugly. "PERHAPS YOU ARE THINKING OF SOMETHING BORDERING HERESY?"

>>15327452
Serena glared up at the Dreadnought, before giving him what would only be summed up to be a very rude gesture amongst the Imperial Guardsmen. "To accuse me of Heresy based on my presumptions would condemn you too, Helveticus. So how exactly does this thing work?"

The Dreadnought merely waved one of its hands towards a nearby scaffolding, where several Servitors were intitiating the Rites of Assembly. "ALLOW SISTER EDYS TO CHANGE MY SACRED ARMANENTS. COME."

Both the Sisters and the Dreadnought (with the Servitors in tow with the massive piece of 'weaponry') walked over to the station, where Helveticus aligned himself with before shutting down all unnecessary functions. Which included all sensory inputs. While the Techpriestess and the Servitors began to work on switching out his payload, Serena simply watched. Intrigued by the advanced process, as well as the drill, she began to question Edys.

"So when exactly did you design that device?" She asked in a rather cool tone.

Edys dropped the power drill she was using to unbolt the arm from Helveticus's frame, her face flushing brightly. "I... I designed it the night that our dearest Brother was interned into a Dreadnought. Why do you ask?"

"You built it in that short of a period? It was what, less than a sixteen hour span between gathering his body and putting him in that, yes?" Serena was impressed, tapping her finger on her chin as she pondered. "I'm guessing you were his first in this form?"

>>15327454
Edys mechadentrites flailed, sending her falling to the floor with a crash. Luckily, she landed in a conveniently placed box of foam insulation, so she avoided injury. "Y-you could say that, as i-improper as it is. It's not like he was awake, an-and I needed to t-test it to make sure it was working p-properly."

Serena bust out into laughter, clutching at her stomach whilst pointing at Edys, "Are you saying you RAPED Brother Helveticus? Does he even know?! Oh wow, I would have never thought that -he'd- be raped by a -woman-... But then again, we are the Emperors Finest, so even we have moments of weakness." Her expression changed quickly, before leering at Edys, "Personally, I would have you executed here and now. But you are obviously too important for this chapter so I shall not."

Edys sighed, getting back to her work.

>Finally shit is getting done.

Bump

>>15322145
I approve of this.

Keeping this alive.

>>15327464
>Are you saying you RAPED Brother Helveticus?
Fuck yeah, Edys.

Bump. I might do some writefaggotry of my own later on.