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  • File : 1306802138.jpg-(83 KB, 378x500, 1906501989_f93d833f49[1].jpg)
    83 KB Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)20:35 No.15107319  
    >DMing game for friends
    >one of them is a first timer
    >rolls elf samurai
    >wants a bushy beard
    >the rules lawyer informs him that elves cannot grow facial hair
    >new player doesnt understand
    >keeps asking if theres any way his elf can have a beard
    >i rule that if he worshipped moradin devoutly, the beardy god would grace his face with a mustache
    >+2 on diplomacy to dwarves
    >he is revered everywhere he goes as the only elf ever to have facial hair

    Let's have a thread about the little things you do personally for your players.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)20:36 No.15107331
    You are a bro DM, OP, even if your player is a bit touched.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)20:38 No.15107353
    rolled 5, 6 = 11

    Why am I reminded of that one elf in Dwarf Fortress, Cacame Awemedinade?
    Show that guy to your players I'm sure they'll love him.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)20:39 No.15107357

    He almost got into a fight with some dwarves in the first session because they thought the mustache was fake.

    He then started belting off "The Lessons of Moradin" from the "dwarf bible" as he put it, to convince the dwarves it was legit.

    It was basically tips on beard care, I haven't laughed that hard in a game in a long long time.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)20:39 No.15107359
    Let them have little things they want. Stick to the rules where it is important. Compromise, but be firm.

    Giving the guy who could turn into animals and talk to dogs an older sister who was a bitch so he'd have a foe worthy of his attentions and an NPC who thought he was a fucking badass.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)20:39 No.15107366
    It's a shame about elves and beards, because their stereotypical facial structure is perfect for small, well trimmed beards.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)20:42 No.15107387
    You are awesome and your elf player is even more awesome.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)20:43 No.15107397
    Actually, an elf with that kind of thin, clipped goatee could be interesting
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)20:43 No.15107398
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    >> KARANDRAS 05/30/11(Mon)20:43 No.15107399
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    You're now picturing Fingolfin figting something big and red.
    Except now the manliest elf ever has a beard.
    >I have no face so complimentary penfang
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)20:46 No.15107426
    OP and player confirmed for god tier
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)20:46 No.15107432
    >jungle campaign
    >player uses poison darts to hinder foes while bigger PC knocks the hell out of them
    >one time player wants to fill his blowgun with darts and fling it downwards like an atlatl to make them all fly out
    >the fuck is going on
    >allow it at a -5 cumulative for 6 darts roll seperately for each dart
    >they all hit

    His people gave him the nickname "Swarm of Bees" for that.

    I told him to never to it again.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)20:47 No.15107440
    This, you're fuckin bro.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)20:48 No.15107447
    >Manliest Elf
    >Not Feanor
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)20:50 No.15107470
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    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)20:52 No.15107484
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    My DM gave me a giant owl on my druid for my birthday one time. I had been investigating where to try and tame one for like 6 sessions, than all of a sudden:

    >anon, you should check the back of the cart
    uh k
    wait... do you mean...

    >my face
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)20:52 No.15107486
    I ran an Elven Duskblade character that also had a beard.

    He developed a spell that allowed elves to grow facial hair, specifically for this purpose.

    He was a mercenary general and siege expert, and wanted to be associated with dwarves, "the true masters of siege warfare," rather than with elves, whom he considered "the true masters of getting their homes set on fire." He, in fact, refused to admit he was an elf, even when intensely questioned about his lineage by other members of the group.

    I think the whole "elves pretending not to be via beards" may be a surprisingly common theme in D&D games.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)20:56 No.15107530

    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)20:57 No.15107534
    Wish my DM did that kind of stuff, he goes 100% by the book.

    It's nice to have consistency in our games, but damn do I get jealous of these kind of stories.
    >> KARANDRAS 05/30/11(Mon)20:59 No.15107551
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    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:01 No.15107570

    I haven't laughed like this in a while, thanks Anon, you made my day.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:01 No.15107573
    Well played.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:03 No.15107588
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    Every session, I bake cookies for my players. Sometimes pastries. One time I was sick and posted on our forum that I had no time to prepare, but they still wanted to play, even if it meant just working on their characters or whatever. I warned that there would be no cookies... and all four of them showed up unexpectedly with various baked goods.

    That evening's adventure turned away from the main campaign. I improvised a wacky ghost story involving a haunted bakery and devious underworld machinations. They saved the baker's daughter and the countess, both of whom were smittem with one of the PCs. He later married... the baker's daughter. She always had baked goods ready for the party when they were due to head out on a mission. It was universally agreed that this was better than the nobility title.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:04 No.15107595
    Good job.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:05 No.15107601
    Has anyone else noticed that Eladrin are basically fey-supremecists?
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:07 No.15107626
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    >Legend of the Five Rings
    >Guy rolls a Monk.
    >Monk is jovial, friendly and (of course) a kung fu master, ends up being most combat effective team member
    >Political game though, so he's often an outsider
    >He buys himself a pet monkey
    >L5R rules explicitly state you can't use your pets bought this way in combat; they're assumed to be too small to be useful and untrained
    >He wants his monkey to be a bit smarter, trained etc, so he can have it do errands for him.
    >I allow it, on the condition that when he's not supervising it, I roll a dice to determine if it flips out and causes trouble.
    >Basic evens/odds roll - Player guesses and I roll. If he guesses right, no shenanigans.
    >The Shenanigans Dice ends up causing belly laughs for the entire group
    >Raizeru, the Kami-Damned Thunder Monkey, waltzes into the halls of our table's myth, flinging poop as he goes
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:08 No.15107637
    I feel like this and OP's story are both examples of what I could do with my group once we actually get decent at the game itself.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:08 No.15107644
    Oh hell yeah.

    I like to think that in every eladrin city there's actually fashion police who patrol and write citations for bad taste.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:09 No.15107648
    dming pathinder for a new group
    there is a paranoid kid in this group
    - make a perception check... you see a crow out of the corner of your eye
    I constantly harrow him with the crow for the next two sessions. It appears where ever he is and and he is the only one to roll within a certain range and thus is the only one who sees it.
    He died a session later before the punchline could arrive... literally, a murder of crows.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:11 No.15107673
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    >elves with beards pretending to be dwarves

    Toss in some Sorceror levels and this is my next character.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:12 No.15107675

    Every Eladrin that's been played in my gaming group has always been utterly snobbish and talked down to everyone. The only reason that nobody ever took issue with them is because they're always capable. Kind of like Aryans...
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:12 No.15107677
    Brb, making a new setting where Eladrin are Nazis
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:12 No.15107684

    >Implying not Gil-galad

    Sure he got smoked by Sauron, but he stood AGAINST him. Against a Maia on roids incarnate.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:14 No.15107697
    Also, I cooked up a magical bakery (potions = pastries) for the PCs in one of my cities, it was run by dwarves
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:17 No.15107719
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    I'm a reluctant DM, and I was running a pre-made adventure for my players.
    >Party encounters a tribe of neutral lizardfolk, whom they manage to convince to join their cause
    >Foes destroyed by combined party and lizardfolk tribe
    >One player, a kobold sorcerer, wants to do the dirty deed with a certain lizardfolk NPC
    >Sigh, let him, on the condition that we fade it to black
    >He rolls high enough to seduce her through 2 checks, then rolls a 1 on the actual act
    >She's preggers
    Party continues on its way, more pre-made adventures. Suddenly, inspiration strikes.
    >Improvise news about a half-kobold-half-lizardfolk from down south, it's already years/levels later in-game
    >Party bites, and they go on an epic quest to rescue the kobold's son
    >Turns out that out-of-game, the kobold's player really wants to be a father
    >Thanks me profusely, and excellent roleplay of father-son relationship continues throughout the rest of our adventures
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:18 No.15107728
    Dear lord...
    >Fey Step
    ENTIRE RACE ARE SS NAZIS. Dwarves are Jews. Orcs are negros.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:21 No.15107757
    I always make sure my PCs start with nice homes, and rarely do I mess with them. I've found that this really makes a difference to the game. For example, one player in a CoC game wanted to own a used book store. I liked this idea so much that I gave it to him for free at the start. It rarely figured into the grand scheme of things--certainly, no horrible tomes of demon summoning ever came through--but it was a nice place for the PCs to hang out between stints in the asylum.

    When you really think about it, that's the whole point of LotR. The hobbits are on these great adventures doing heroic, world-changing things, but all they really want to do is go back home and live peacefully. And when they get there and Saruman has messed everything up... well, that's the best part of the story.

    Often my players will be married and have kids. We pretty much never roleplay any of that, but it gets mentioned. "Mrs. Barbarian comes out to wish you all off, holding young Trollcleaver in her arms. He smiles and spits up on the bard." There's just something more to fight for than purely selfish survival, and they all love that idea.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:22 No.15107766
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    And fingolfin didn't take on a valar?
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:25 No.15107784
    Gil-galad was doing it to protect his world, Fingolfin was just a fucking lunatic.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:27 No.15107798
    This is news?

    >functional riptri
    Even Captcha is being dwarfy. Wonder how'd you use a RipTri?
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:29 No.15107823
    Are you a girl?

    (not trying to be a dick, just actually curious if you're a guy that likes to bake for his friends - my friends can go fuck themselves, my cookies are mine)
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:31 No.15107848

    You reminded me of A Pimp Named Slickback and what he does (not) do for the "homies"
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:31 No.15107853
    That's less of a bro thing and more of a D'AWWWWWWW type of awesome.

    Which, personally? I like more.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:31 No.15107854
    Running a Pathfinder in a homebrew session. Had a player wanting to be Alchemist Gnome. He wants to move his Charisma bonus to Intelligence.

    Lawyer bitches.

    I allow it, but it's gotta be argued for in his backstory. Says a scientific explosion caused his face to be marred has metal plates in. People don't like talking to him much, instead studied profusely and did his science. Roleplayed it wonderfully! Got weird looks from everyone but loved it.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:32 No.15107867
    Sounds like my campaigns. It makes it suck more when they get TPK'd though.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:38 No.15107918
    I hope you realize that he was playing Doctor Doom.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:39 No.15107927
    >>the rules lawyer informs him that elves cannot grow facial hair

    Another reason I like FFXI Elvaan. Besides being warrior focused, their king has facial hair. Not sure about the rest of them, but maybe that's just standard Squaresoft character design at work.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:39 No.15107931

    Not him, but I'm a guy and I've been known to cook for my playgroups. Only real baking is banana bread, but as a SEAsianstudiesfag I can do some miraculous things with bok choy, tofu, some bouillon and fried rice, for instance.




    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:42 No.15107969
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    >your face when rule lawyers
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:48 No.15108023
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:48 No.15108024
    This whole thing gives me an idea...

    Who would be up for some hypothetical GM testing?

    We take turns throwing out situations and GMs respond by coming up with the best way to handle it. Could be a real scenario or a made up one meant to test your reaction to certain challenges.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:49 No.15108037
    Good idea, fire away with the first one!
    >> A Pimp Named Slickback Esq. 05/30/11(Mon)21:50 No.15108043

    hell yeah, throw some shit out nigger!
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:52 No.15108065
    One player uses an unlimited wish to resurrect an NPC.

    Rules lawyer flips out, how do you handle it?
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:53 No.15108074
    No, I'm a guy. I love baking... it's kind of a hobby. Makes the house smell good, and then there are tasty byproducts. Also, kneading dough relieves tension after a tough day of work. I bake way more than I can eat myself, so I don't mind giving stuff away.

    I'll make pancakes for the start of an all-day session, too, and will occasionally slow cook a roast for game night dinner. Our old DM used to barbecue burgers or make tacos for us on game nights, and occasionally someone else would contribute a stew and biscuits.

    > Hint of the day: get one of those round stone slabs made for cooking pizza on. Wax paper over the top, and cookies on that. Totally worth it.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:54 No.15108088
    I'm jelly of everyone who posted cool stories.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:56 No.15108110
    would depend on the rules of the setting (is resurection illegal hence the wish?)
    If so, I'd throw em a moral quandary. Sure the NPCs soul can be retrieved, but you cant just stick it back in the body, you need a new one. A living one. A willing living one.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:57 No.15108122
    Why is this a problem? Shouldn't Wish be able to bring people back to life? Whatever, it doesn't matter.

    Have the RL make an Int/arcane knowledge check with a penalty/bonus sufficient to make it a 50/50 proposition. No matter what the result, suggest subtly that yes, perhaps that spell shouldn't have been able to do that. But it did. Is there some greater mystery to be discovered?

    If he succeeded in the check, he'll think himself clever for working out the next plot twist. If he failed, he'll curse himself for failing the check and not getting more information.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:57 No.15108123
    Lemme use a few from a game I'm running.

    >A player wants his character to gain a reputation as a vicious torturer, to the point where his character seeks out medical texts to research ways to best inflict pain and even pull off feats such as chopping off someone's testicles while keeping them alive so he can feed them to that person. He wants to turn his spotlight time into torture porn, in other words. How do you handle this?

    And another one

    >One of your players has decided to play the most morally ambiguous character in a group of morally ambiguous adventurers, to the point where he would change sides in the middle of a fight and attack another player in mid-combat if an NPC offered him money. How do you handle such a character without simply killing him off or forcing the other player to kill him?
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:58 No.15108129
    Flip his books off the table, grant the wish, and end the session by storming out of the room, pretending to be pissed off.

    Wait for the rules lawyer to come into the room to apologize, then apologize back for being a dick and calmly explain to him that's it's a fantasy setting, he's not running it, and that part of a fantasy setting is that the rules get bent and broken to make a good story.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:58 No.15108132

    Baker DM, have you ever considered running a Yakitate!! Japan type of game?
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)21:58 No.15108136
    Angry that they didn't use the wish on making the character a god and then just rezzing him themself.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:00 No.15108152
    I lol'd.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:03 No.15108177
    > He wants to turn his spotlight time into torture porn, in other words. How do you handle this?
    Get a new group.

    > How do you handle such a character without simply killing him off or forcing the other player to kill him?
    See above.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:03 No.15108180

    Okay, gunna go for the second one, I't play off it, put them up against a unscrupuless buisnessman and his escorts. As the fight progresses the businessman offers the morally ambiguous dude more and more money, getting closer and closer to his flip point (make sure you know what this is ahead of time) Make sure the players know it too, so its becomes a game of them bidding while fighting while being ready for their tank/healer/rogue/pet elf to flip sides at any second.

    Another way would be to have enemies only offer the guy money when him turning sides wouldnt effect the outcome (the guy offering is the last guy and is badly wounded, the rest of the team is at full health). stuff like that
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:03 No.15108186
    >friend makes a ranger in D&D 3.5
    >renaissance fantasy setting
    >he uses guns
    >"There's nothing for my character in the Ranger class"
    >Let him take Fighter feats in place of the Ranger combat style
    In session one, I let the PCs gamble money on a fight, roll out a kiosk to sell "druid water" and tip them off to the city-wide resistance to get rid of the oppression.
    Oh, and our gnome wizard is riding the ranger's war dog companion, and the bow-using fighter is probably going to have some fun with the things I have planned for him.
    Now to get the Druid to stop BUCKING THE PLOT. GAWD.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:03 No.15108187
    >rocks fall, everyone dies
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:04 No.15108198
    >torture porn
    If you and the rest of the group are for some reason okay with this, let it slide.
    If not, as is infinitely more likely, inform him that it bothers you, and tell him that while his character can be a sadistic asshole, the actual torture can be left unsubscribed, and just have NPCs react based on vague rumors if appropriate.

    >backstabbing asshole
    Try to set up situations that make it more profitable for him to aid the party. If it begins to cause problems out of game, take the player aside and talk to him. Civilly.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:05 No.15108204
    >Confirmed for not bro, shit-tier GMs.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:05 No.15108208
    I have not heard of it... is this something I should be investigating?
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:07 No.15108233

    1: Make the torture come back to hurt him in some way depending on the setting. Maybe the police are trying to hunt him down, maybe his employers don't necessarily want the reputation he brings, or maybe someone he's preparing for torture manages to escape and cut his face open? These could be used as hooks to get the players into another adventure too.

    Although unless the game/setting works well with stuff like that, I'll put my foot down and say no to it.

    2: Probably best to give the player a reason to not betray the party/switch sides. A strong motivation to work together and some sort of goal that requires team work to be achieved, or like in number one have these actions bite them in the ass.

    But some people are going to betray because they want to act like a dick, and in that cause you yourself That Guy and should probably just kick him out.
    >> Praetor Lillifag 05/30/11(Mon)22:08 No.15108239
    If it's my house, tell him to get out of my house.
    If it's not my house, pull the player aside and tell him that this isn't something I want to run.

    Let him run it, but have more of the encounters be against things that wouldn't offer him profit, like animals or dumber magical beasts or things he wouldn't want to work with, like demons and the like, or just give him a good reason to work with the party, like the world being in danger.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:09 No.15108249

    >dat filename
    >connan laffind.jpg

    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:14 No.15108318
    Both of them: god of retribution fucks their worlds up.

    It starts off slowly and subtly: accidentally slicing open a finger on a botched roll, slipping on botched roll while going in to flank the other PC.

    But then it starts getting worse: Gets stuck by the only guy in the melee with a poison blade and can't heal fully without begging another PC for a heal.

    And worse: These random encounters when he runs off on his own to "do his own thing" for awhile keep getting more and more hard to handle. And the people that keep attacking him have a strange tattoo on their hands that he's never seen.

    And worse: He realizes that he's being hunted when he's alone, but that when he's with the party he's safe(r). His paranoia distracts him from doing the things he was doing before and becomes more of a team player since that's the only way he's safe.

    Until finally: He thinks he's not being followed anymore and so he starts to venture out to do his thing again. Finds a victim or someone who will pay him to betray his friends. And doesn't realize it's a trap set by some monks who all have that strange mark. They take him to their temple where he thrust before the eyes of the god and given a life-changing option: improve his behavior or be paid retribution for his cruel acts.

    And then: either it works, or you find you a way to kill him in a very non-spectacular fashion. Don't let him have a glorious, well detailed death. Rather, somebody drags him into an alley with a knife at his throat and says "Your money or your life!" Before he can fight back, he gets his throat opened and falls to the ground, lifeless. The last thing he sees before going black is the man going through his pockets, while a medallion of the god of retribution hanging from his assailant's neck knocks against his face.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:16 No.15108343
    Here's one that came up in a game I was in a few years back. A doppelganger kills off a prominent businessman in a small village, taking his place. The man's wife is pretty sure she knows, but she has a 1 year old kid and nowhere else to go. Various travellers and villagers have been going missing for the last while. The party is called in, investigates, chases some false leads, and finally discovers the real bad guy. There's a showdown, bad guy dies, and the day is saved.

    So now the party goes to loot his lair. But wait... doesn't that stuff rightfully belong to the widow? The paladin says it's all stolen from travellers, rightful spoils of war, etc. The cleric of Pelor says that the widow should keep it, because we don't know what was hers in the first place (she was known to be quite wealthy before this all took place), or that she should get some and the rest should go back to the village. Party is divided equally and comes to minor blows.

    So the paladin and his supporters win the fight and take all the loot for themselves. Cleric decides that that's not right at all, removes what he considers his share in the middle of the night, and steals back to the village with a chest of jewels for the widow, who is understandably happy to see it.

    Paladin demands that cleric should lose his powers over this incident. Cleric counters that paladin should lose his. What do?
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:17 No.15108361

    for the torture guy, allow him to torture a single NPC, let him go wild. If the NPC survives, it escapes and desperatly seeks help from the greatest heroes in the land. The party.

    If the NPC dies, bend things subtly so that the party finds the corpse. Drop hints that finding the fiend that did this is worth their time.

    Sit back and watch the fireworks.
    >> KARANDRAS 05/30/11(Mon)22:18 No.15108374
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    Like you name all your reaction images perfectly.
    I'll have you know, the humorous misnaming of response macros is quite a hobby in other, seedier boards of this same 'chan.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:20 No.15108395

    It would depend on what kind of patron deity they are beholden to and what kind of vows they took upon coming into the deity's service.

    But considering that both of them consciously did what they felt was the right course of action, and did not actively decide to break from their duty, then neither of them deserve to fall.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:21 No.15108409
    Gil-galad = epic badass. But Maiar < Valar, so Gil-galad < Fingolfin.


    In the Feanor vs. Fingolfin debate- while Fingolfin may have beat up Morgoth, Feanor was so strong of spirit that he automatically killed his mother when he was born. He was able to make such astounding craftwork that one of his greatest works was hallowed by the Valar, and its subsequent theft set the stage for a two-age campaign against the most powerful Vala in the world. When Feanor died, his spirit was so fiery that it transcended just being a figure of speech, and his physical body caught fire and burned to ashes. This was after he curbstomped Morgoth's army with a token force, and had singlehandedly set out to assail Angband. He was then ambushed by 3 balrogs including Gothmog, who was Morgoth's chief lieutenant and so powerful that he could have singlehandedly stomped Sauron into the ground and annihilated his spirit without breaking a sweat.

    Therefore, Feanor > Fingolfin.

    Oh, and beards? CĂ­rdan the Shipwright had been on Arda so long and had seen so much tragedy that he had begun to physically age, and had grown a beard. As a result, he was pretty much venerated by the dwarves, who as a rule distrusted the elves.

    But, back on topic. Little things:

    >DMing Traveller
    >Players want to essentially play Firefly
    >"Ok, cool"
    >Fudge everyone's rolls so they get a full ship crew
    >Give them a Class S scout
    >They play Firefly, blow shit up, steal shit, fuck shit up, get away, and do it again
    >Everyone has fun
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:23 No.15108423
    Ooh, that's a tough one.
    First of all, the cleric can't lose his powers in this situation. He only loses his power if he shifts his alignment too far away from his god's or if he does something directly against the teachings of his god. If either of these things happened in this situation, you haven't told us the whole story.
    The paladin acted in a way that seems selfish, but if that was honestly what he believed was right, and if he used the treasure for a good cause, I would let it slide, assuming he (as a lawful character) obtained it through legal channels. If he did not, I would have informed him before the act that he was risking moving to NG. I would have given him the chance to take back any illegal action involved in trying to get the treasure.
    If he insists on breaking the law for the treasure, then it seems like the player is prepared for the consequences, and I will probably make the paladin fall for selfish and unlawful acts.

    Basically, I tell them that they're both justified and if they want to fight over it, do the fighting in character. Only if the out of character argument begins to interfere with the game will I step in and tell whoever's being the bigger dick to shut up.
    >> KARANDRAS 05/30/11(Mon)22:24 No.15108438
    And this is why tolkien lore is massively fucked up and unnecesarily complicated.
    Do NOT post Tom Bombadil'ls forest of faggotry please.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:25 No.15108457
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    Trying to make this. How do I get from part 2 to 3?
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:26 No.15108467
    Feanor killed his mother - big deal. And yes, we know he was an excellent craftsman. But that still isn't as awesome as going up against Morgoth single-handed.
    >> KARANDRAS 05/30/11(Mon)22:27 No.15108488
    Lemme do some folder diving, I think I saved a more complete instruction somewhere.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:27 No.15108489
    That's...not how wish works. That's a munchkin, not a rules laywer.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:28 No.15108498
    Dong bang a dildo!
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:29 No.15108517
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    >doesn't know about misnamed reaction images
    >> KARANDRAS 05/30/11(Mon)22:30 No.15108535
    Sorry mate. Deep search shows nothing. I suggest showing it to /po/, those guys have the know-how and the low-down on that kinda stuff. Best of luck
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:30 No.15108540
    Now to respond to my own questions.

    My actual reaction? I snapped a bit and got into an argument with the players about how poorly he planned out one of his torture sessions.
    What I should have done?
    >What are you looking to do?
    >>I'm going to chop out his tongue.
    >Right. Fade to black.. It was somewhat difficult, but you slice out the man's tongue. He wakes several hours later, staring at you with horror as you hold his tongue in front of him.
    As long as he makes a proper roll and passes, I see no reason why he shouldn't be able to torture no-name commoners as necessary. High-lighting the details and all the gooey bits is just uncalled for otherwise.

    Should he try and get more gruesome, leave it to a single roll to torture, depending on how well the roll comes out, he gets so many pieces of information. He gets his rep. no one has to listen to in depth arguments about whether or not someone is bleeding to death or how deeply he's pressing his blade into where ever.

    Scenario 2.
    This guy is cruising for a bruising in every possible way one can cruise their character towards such a fate.
    The other players are trusting him less and it seems whenever he goes to do something or open his mouth, he is only giving them more reason to slit his throat or to just sell him out to the city guard.

    So, instead of just letting him die in an anti-climatic way, I'm going to let him build himself up a bit. On the side, I might introduce him to some sort of ruinous power. Eventually, put him in a situation where it will be him, all BBEG'd out, versus the other players, who have found a perfect reasont o put him down once and for all.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:33 No.15108568
    >And this is why tolkien lore is massively fucked up and unnecesarily complicated.
    >Do NOT post Tom Bombadil'ls forest of faggotry please.

    You DO realize that Gygax, not to mention pretty much every fantasy writer since Tolkien, directly drew the bulk of their inspiration from him?
    The man was a fucking linguistic aesthetist. He built the stories around entire fabricated groups of related languages. He said himself, from the beginning, that every story was just another 'cycle' in the 'great wheel'. His original goal was to give England the mythic history it never had. It's SUPPOSED to be like it is, it's not an accident that it's complicated.

    Seriously, deal with it. I know it's really trendy lately to bitch about Tolkien, but it really just shows the general breakdown of literacy.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:34 No.15108580
    >fucked up


    Tolkien lore? It's like a history book, but with elves, dwarves, balrogs, demigods, heroes, etc. It's also the precursor to almost all modern fantasy.

    Complicated? Maybe for asspie retard weaboo faggots that can't get their heads out of their asses long enough to comprehend anything but "FOURTYKAY, DURR HURR". To decently normal and intelligent people, it's hardly complex at all.

    Oh, and /b/ is that way. -->

    Enjoy the summer!
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:35 No.15108593
    >Black Mans Glans
    >> KARANDRAS 05/30/11(Mon)22:35 No.15108600
    I understand what you're saying, and you draw a good point, but even the best chocolate chip cookie, if it's large enough, will have a disgusting raisin smuggled somewhere.

    All faggotry aside, Tolkien and his stories are awesome and I wish I could write something like he did, if only to be remembered and to grace the world with it. Alas, I'm not a poet or a linguist, just a fa/tg/uy.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:35 No.15108602
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    >no image
    >stupid captcha
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:36 No.15108607
    I was bitching about Tolkien as soon as the first of Jackson's abominations hit the theater. It' sad to be in world with so many wrong people.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:37 No.15108626
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    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:38 No.15108638
    Okay, we get it, you name your images incorrectly. Can you please go back to /b/ so we can continue talking about our imagination games?
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:39 No.15108650
    >Unable to understand complicated things.
    >Doesn't like anything other than 40k

    Damnit man, those aren't just general insults, they actually mean things
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:39 No.15108651
    exactly what the heck is wrong with Jackson's movies?
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:40 No.15108669
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    >curb-stomped Morgoth's army
    >Taken down by 3 balrogs, including was that was close to vala-level power
    >Taken down while assailing Morgoth's stronghold ALONE
    >So badass his body burns as he dies because it can't contain his spirit any longer
    >Somehow not as awesome as Fingolfin
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:40 No.15108672
    >> KARANDRAS 05/30/11(Mon)22:41 No.15108676
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    /tg/ is notoriously uptight tonight. Chill out gentlemen.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:41 No.15108678
    Feanor was bitch whinning about her stolen jewels and blaming everyone and fucking everyone until she gets what she wants. Not only was a girl, but one on his period. Eternally. Fire Spirit? Now you know why.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:42 No.15108685
    I still claim that Morgoth > 3 Balrogs.
    The curb-stomping of his army was impressive though.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:42 No.15108693
    Don't take us literally, there's a lot of bullshit in here.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:43 No.15108702
    Tell him to be a team player and possibly seek a psychiatrist.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:43 No.15108703
    >shits all over Tolkein
    >gets butthurt when it turns out his view isn't shared by /tg/
    >/tg/ is notoriously uptight tonight.

    You sir. are a blight!
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:43 No.15108704
    didn't feanor also once basically tell morgoth to get bent when he came knocking on his door?
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:44 No.15108722
    Yeah, but that was when Morgoth was in his wimpy 'pretend-to-be-friendly' mode, I think. I may be confusing that with Sauron and the Numenorians though.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:44 No.15108724
    Maybe the fact that it focused on awesome battle scenes instead of the awesome story by Tolkien? The battles were amazing, but LotR is hardly the medium for a movie that's mostly massive battles.

    They fucked with the lore, had way too much action, fucked with the time scale (could you have told that the entire quest took a full year?), fucked with the distance scale... honestly, what didn't they fuck with?

    Oh, and no Bombadil. New Line faggots.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:45 No.15108737
    Yes. Yes. It is. Please leave it.

    Just read "Return of the King". I know you're trolling, but read it. That's quality writing.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:46 No.15108756
    Nowadays, when I try to discuss LotR with someone, I have to double-check that they've read the books. And most of the time, they haven't. It pains me to talk to people who think they know what's going on, but have been ripped off by a 'fight scene'd version of a real epic.
    >> KARANDRAS 05/30/11(Mon)22:46 No.15108757
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    Im not shitting all over tolkien! perish the tought!
    Sorry if I gave that impression, I just wanted to point out that there are some parts I don't like about his mythology, is all.
    Also, don't take anything I say to heart really, much of what I say should come accompanied by a grin and an elbow, insteaf of seriousface.
    >chocolate chip and raisin cookies
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:49 No.15108781

    Why did Morgoth send 3 balrogs to ambush him? Because he was sitting in the highest tower in Angband shitting his pants at the thought that Feanor might come knocking at his door. So he sent out the most powerful non-valar being on the face of the earth (excepting Feanor himself) to kill him. AND sent backup (both of which were thrashed when Feanor's friends showed up).
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:49 No.15108783
    bombadil is hardly important to the overall story

    and you have to take some artistic liberties with a story the size of the lord of the rings

    Peter Jackson followed the story's heart pretty closely but not the letter, but he did a damn fine job
    >> Ted, the Patient Hunter 05/30/11(Mon)22:50 No.15108784
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    rolled 20 = 20

    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:53 No.15108803

    >and you have to take some artistic liberties with a story the size of the lord of the rings

    No you don't. You can say 'gosh, this is really unfit for film' and not make the damn movie! How about that?
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:54 No.15108809
    Sam is still the most badass character in all the lord of the rings mythos

    fuck all those half valar and first generation elves with their magical powers

    he was a fucking gardener that managed to resist the ultimate temptation a mortal can receive and carried someone his weight up a god damn volcano in the middle of the land of the dark lord himself and he did it while giving said person most of the food and water
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:55 No.15108825
    I don't think you're replying to the right person. I completely agree that LotR is amazing writing, I'm just depressed by the fact that most people don't think of the writing when then think of LotR - they think of that blond guy and the guy who looked constipated the whole time.
    >> KARANDRAS 05/30/11(Mon)22:55 No.15108827
    On one hand, there's you with your puritan and (the one which I agree) view on how book-to-movie adaptations should be made, in accordance to the Death of the Author phenomenon.

    On the other hand, there's Peter Jackson's and Hollywoods way of doing things.

    Guess which one rakes the fatter wads of dough?
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:56 No.15108833
    Yes, but which one is RIGHT?
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:56 No.15108841
    > honestly what he believed was right
    "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions."

    The problem I had (I was on the cleric's side) was that it felt like we were just breaking into this lady's house and stealing all her stuff. I mean, she was there with her kid watching us loot her home. It's one thing when it's a beholder's lair... quite another when it's a victimized villager.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:56 No.15108843
    >most powerful being on earth who sowed the hobbits that the ring wasn't all-powerful in the most jolly feel-good scene in the entire book (after saving lives of said hobbits during trek through massive hostile forest that somehow got cut entirely) somehow wasn't important to plot

    Actually... this. Most overlooked, underappreciated character in the entire mythos.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:56 No.15108845
    or you can adapt a fantastic story in such a way it does not lose its essence on the big screen, only some minor chapters and pieces only an omega nerd would possibly complain about

    they were some of the finest movies the past friggin' decade
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:57 No.15108854
    Not paying too much attention to this thread, but that picture reminded me of the time I bit into a donut.
    To discover it was in fact a bagel.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:57 No.15108858
    Just because Feanor's power level was over 9000 doesn't mean he was all that.
    So he accidentally killed his mom, made some awesome gems, and then fucked his entire race over by the whole battle to get them back when stolen...he had worse avarice than a dwarf...I mean even a human wouldn't have done some of the shit he did,
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:57 No.15108859
    You actually answered, I deserve at least 5/10

    Also, its actually true. Manly as fuck? Fingolfin. Its easy to murder you kin and fuck balrogs when you are fucking overpowered mary sue bitching around. You need balls of steel to face Morgoth and actually hurt him 7 times. Also Fingolfin take a difficult bet, and lose his life. Feanor just died like this:

    >I CHARGE LOL!111! Wut? Im so fast Im alone between balrogs? Man this sucks.
    Dying for no reason and no goal, just like a stupid.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:58 No.15108862
    But DID they break in? Like I said, if it was done illegally, or through questionable means, I would warn the player of the potential consequences beforehand.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:59 No.15108870
    It's something that might be up your ally, if you like baking. It's an anime, if that's not a problem, about a boy and his friends using their over-the-top baking skills to become world class bread artisans. They face off against monster of the week style antagonists with super baking powers. I just thought it might be a weird break from the average kill-things-or-seduce-for-xp kind of games.

    First few seconds basically sums it up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wyp1c1aBqpM&feature=related
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:59 No.15108872
    >in such a way it does not lose its essence on the big screen

    That would be awesome. Too bad it didn't happen at all.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)22:59 No.15108875
    >Fingolfin take a difficult bet
    >just like a stupid.
    English boards aren't very English lately.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)23:02 No.15108916
    You faggots derailed a thread with great potential.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)23:02 No.15108922
    >the book wasn't as good as the movie
    >This was both shocking and avoidable, and I'm offended
    >What gave them the right
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)23:03 No.15108927

    Correct him instead of bitching and at least the fucking troll will learn something.
    >> Praetor Lillifag 05/30/11(Mon)23:04 No.15108951
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    Today is a sad day.
    This season is a sad season.

    In the grim darkness of the present, this is only rage.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)23:05 No.15108961
    There's nothing really wrong with the LotR movies, except... they're not LotR. They miss out on most of the really important themes and storylines of the books. Don't go back to the Shire at the end and rally the hobbits? Missed the whole point of the series.

    Obviously, movies are constrained by the medium, so you can't really fault them... but you can't compare directly to the books either.

    > They're not gay; they're hobbits.

    Pfft... Meriadoc killed the Witch-King of Angmar. (Well, with some help from Eowyn, of course.) The entire civilization of Westernesse couldn't manage that shit.

    Joking, of course. Sam was fucking awesome. He charged a tower full of orcs in Mordor!
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)23:06 No.15108968
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    Fuck. OP reminds me of Garrelf.

    Manly tears.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)23:06 No.15108969
    Yes. Because the fact that Rohan stood alone at Helms Deep without a bunch of faggoty Lorien archers somehow is a minor detail. Because Legolas skateboarding around while shooting orcs, Aragorn looking 40 years too young, and Gimli being a drunken slob are small pieces that don't matter. Because using hobbits for comic relief is totally ok. And changing major pieces of the plot entirely and cutting massively important and influential characters (from Prince Imrahil of Dol Amroth to Farmer Maggot to Beregond). Because skipping the Scouring of the Shire, the entire last part of RotK that sums up the entire series, deals with Saruman and Wormtongue, and leaves the bittersweet taste that makes the series SO perfect, is fine because it felt too dark to do after Gondor and the crowning of Elessar.

    Fucking idiot.

    The fact is, everyone knew about these before the movie. Not just 'omega nerds'. Everyone who had read the trilogy knew about these massive plot parts. The reason nobody knows about them now?


    Fuck you, Peter Jackson.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)23:07 No.15108978
    That's actually pretty awesome. Thanks!
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)23:07 No.15108980
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    I posted this earlier, But my players all have beards and they plan on spreading the church of beard across the land on their adventures.

    I wish I was a more experienced DM so I could do more for the epic quest.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)23:09 No.15108997
    Well, they confronted the BBEG on his doorstep, taunted him into the street, and killed him in the village square. Then they walked into his house--really, his first victim's house, because this was a doppelganger and not the actual guy--and took everything in there.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)23:10 No.15109014
    > Shyguy player
    > Silently goes with the flow, never first, always last, never wants to make a decision
    > Somehow gets it into his head he wants a pet griffin.
    > Kingdom we're in only has royal griffins, eggs and babies are only worth 25K gold, but what the hell, here's a teenage griffin.
    > Hopes this brings him out of his shyguy phase.
    > NOPE.jpg
    > Goes into island dungeon, escapes island on a boat and goes back to the mainland.
    > Loses griffin on the island.
    > Complains to me.

    Feels frustrating man
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)23:11 No.15109029
    >Let's have a thread about the little things you do personally for your players.
    >LotR ragefest
    never change, /tg/
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)23:15 No.15109077
    Okay, new scenario. Your players have built characters which are all highly specialized. There's a couple magic users with no ability to survive at short range, mostly relying on charm spells, invisibility, and so on to survive. There's a couple of badass fighter types with no social graces. And there's a support class guy who is basically the team's "driver."

    So at any given point, at least three of the players are idle. If it's combat, the mages and driver have to get out of the way. If it's diplomacy, the fighters and driver get out of the way. If it's a chase scene, only the driver and maybe one or two others is involved.

    How do you keep everyone entertained?
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)23:22 No.15109143
    >They didn't put everything in 1000+ pages into nine hours
    >The movies sucked

    They did fuck up Aragorn though.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)23:23 No.15109165
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    Crowd control and area denial
    Intimidation checks everywhere!
    >Chase scene
    I only play fantasy so...

    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)23:24 No.15109171
    >they didn't consider 2 movies per book
    >they didn't consider the option that would have made them fuckheug amounts of money and satisfied the fandom

    Ok, bro...
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)23:25 No.15109189
    Make the characters play D&D while they wait.

    I'm sure this will keep the party entertained.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)23:27 No.15109209

    I actually did something like this once. Had a short side-quest pop up for my players involving an evil wizard doing evil things, according to the rumors around the countryside. Necromancy was the word, got the party all sorts of interested since there's nothing else to do in a sleepy countryside village.

    Long story short, the wizard was raising the dead, sure, but to array a personal army of kitchen aides to help him, the head chef, create the greatest soup to ever exist. Our team mom cleric, having dumped nearly every extra point she had into cooking, got challenged and with the help of the party (the rogue stealing tips from the wizards cookbook, the barbarian giving his opinion on how tasty each individual ingredient actually was, the ranger managing to find a really rare ingredient to use as a secret weapon, etc) she managed to beat his undead inspired concoction. I was tempted to help throw her a DC check bonus in the form of 'love and friendship,' but the dice gods agreed with her culinary skills that night and it wasn't needed.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)23:29 No.15109229
    -manly fight scenes in an arcane ambassady thats on fire.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)23:29 No.15109237
    Hey, just roll with it. At all times. I've had many an adventure suddenly not go as planned, and it always turns out for the best. To make it epic, would there be any sort of divine fallout, such as the elven gods calling for a holy war? Cause an elf dwarfy enough to sport a beard has to be a huge one up for the dwarf gods. Those long-eared bastards are too proud to let such a slight stand right.

    Back on OP's topic:
    >Initiation meeting turns into blood fest.
    >Stealth mission is now assault
    >come back next week
    >If they fuck up once, they're fucked.
    >handle it like Team 6
    So when they asked to keep the temple as a new fortress, I said yes. The tipping point were the gold inlaid solid oak tables. They saved those fucking tables.
    >> Anonymous 05/30/11(Mon)23:35 No.15109281
    How is Feanor more badass than Fingolfin?
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)00:01 No.15109550
    Undead cooking contest? Freaking awesome, man.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)00:03 No.15109575

    It happened because of an old complaint that hit me hard when I DM'd another group, that I ignored anything that didn't contribute to battle.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)00:03 No.15109576
    >> Party ship sunk, party captured
    >> Rogue is killed. Equipment confiscated
    >> Party will be sacrificed one a day to an angry sea-god to appease it
    >> Bard escapes during shenanigans distractions by barbarian, cleric and sorcerer.
    >> Rest of party recaptured. Bard climbs main mast, knocks out the lookout, hides there for an entire day, bluffing the whole time.
    >> Gets his chance the next night, climbs down mast, over side of ship, around back, in through captains window, steals ring of MC back from spoils chest where gear was.
    >> Controls captain, gets party brought up, unshackled before captain starts making the will saves and crew notice something off.
    >> Bard ends up in swashbuckling duel on ropes swinging around the sides of the ship, belting out 'what would you do with a drunken sailor' the whole time as his fight music. Rest of party bludgeons or kills rest of crew while he distracts.

    Minimal ranks in climb and acrobatics. No armor, no weapons until the end. Fuckawesome roleplaying ideas, party sacrificing themselves to give him the best chance... when they had no idea he was so miserable at the skills needed.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)00:09 No.15109646
    Bro tier player of around 8 years. Normally plays int based characters.

    >> Rolls Barbarian Hobgoblin ranged combat specialist named 'Grok'.
    >> Specializes in throw anything, improved improvised weapon, monkey grip.
    >> Urban skills set, acrobatics, tumble, balance, climb, jump.

    "You see this quill? You got a good look at it? Touch it. Yeah, it's a feather. I want you to think about this really carefully. I can kill you with this feather in at least four different ways. But I won't, so long as you do what I ask you to."

    Seriously, this guy could turn a china shop into a shrapnel bomb, or a furniture factory into a warcrime. Hell, we had to actually look up the rules for grappling and throwing small creatures. Gnomish assassin used as first a flail, then as a shotput to batter the rest of the hit squad to death.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)00:16 No.15109711
    >> Typical adventure hook, children disappearing in town
    >> Party of Oracle, Inquisitor, Druid, Fighter investigate
    >> Trail leads to alchemists shop. Oracle has blind curse ( can't see shit past 30 feet). Oracle is TG and a klepto
    >> Alchemist is plot hook, The mad bomber what bombs at midnight.
    >> Oracle steals a 'healing potion'.
    >> Eventual fight against Alchemist. Everyone hurt. Oracle chugs his 'potion'.
    >> Vial of alchemists fire. Couldn't read the writing on vial (perception check fail 2x) failed dex check to OHGODNOTDRINKFIRE, failed will save to not panic about his FACEISONFIRE
    >> Random direction, runs into Alchemist
    >> Alchemist is on fire.
    >> Oracle falls down, Alchemist panics.
    >> Alchemist goes explodo
    >> Oracle player knocked out.
    >> Druid puts out Oracle.
    >> Player of oracle wants to keep going, rolls with throat damage, takes still spell feat, becomes silent and blind.

    I roll with it, because first time TG player of Oracle had ever taken a detrimental in game effect in stride and not wigged out.

    Five weeks later, Oracle is bro tier to party. Player is alright.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)00:26 No.15109817
    Just plain awesome.
    My uncle played 2nd edition for years as a character that would throw everything, ever.
    Kick ass.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)00:41 No.15109967
    bravo sir, bravo
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)00:59 No.15110147
    >'what would you do with a drunken sailor

    it's now stuck in my head
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:32 No.15110878
    Man, I want to make a Drunken Monk so bad. Sounds like he'd be a blast to play.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:44 No.15110975

    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:00 No.15111106
    A real asshole would mix raisins, chocolate chips, and peanut butter chips in the same cookie.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:16 No.15111219
    If only I wasn't too lazy to DM. But I imagine it would go something like this.

    >The cookie has chocolate, peanut butter and raisins in it, it tastes like bear dick.
    >spend next 2 sessions tracking down baker
    >Baker is actually BBEG using magic cookies to brainwash the city
    >> Art 05/31/11(Tue)03:35 No.15111351
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    Fellow player and DM

    PL: So, you're telling me I can summon and destroy as many of these imps as I want?
    DM: Yep. They're pretty much expendable and you can make them do whatever you want.
    PL: (Long Pause)...I begin to summon them and explode them en masse until there is a massive pile of dead imp all around us.
    Pl: I summon several new imps, draw some hellfire around me and command them: "BUILD. ME. A MEAT ORGAN."

    We went on to make the meat organ summonable. At a moments notice, our tiefling warlock could summon and play a meat organ.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:55 No.15111504
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    Bearded Elf
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)04:02 No.15111546
    Please tell me there was a bard on your party that could also make use of it.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)04:07 No.15111586
    best elves ever or dwarfs for that matter
    >> Art 05/31/11(Tue)04:07 No.15111589
    That would have been me.

    We made a band out of it.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)04:53 No.15111870
    Fuckin' a, man.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)08:39 No.15112820
    Once upon a time our group stole a magical artifact mirror from a black dragon. Understandably the dragon was mightily peeved at us once he found out, but we had hidden the mirror at this point, and managed to convince the dragon that in fact, the Drow did it.

    Time goes on and as we find out that the mirror is in fact a game breaking wonder, having the capability of instantly teleporting us nearly anywhere and back. Our shenanigans once we found this out included stealing an artifact submarine in a matter of few turns and assassinating a wizard in the middle of a hall way in broad day light.

    But all good must end, and we lose the mirror when our groups mage uses it in a ritual to become a lich without killing anybody. Some of the mirrors shards became the liche's phylactery.

    At this point our group has become so used to the mirrors power that we had decided to create a replacement artifact for fast loot storage. This ended up being two adamantium rings, about 5 feet in diameter that upon activation would open a portal between the two, sending the items/people from one to the other.

    Our campaign nears the end and we are facing the BBEG and an ancient dragon that is well capable of roasting even our goliath in two turns. Our plan was as follows:

    The monk and one of our wizards step through the ring back to our base, and prepare there with an antimagic field and some monkish ass whooping. Our other wizard shapeshifts into a dragon and flies our goliath up. The goliath at this point is holding the hoop.

    We manage to get above the ancient dragon, and our wizard drop the goliath who plunges at the BBEG, and successfully shoves the ring around him, and closes the portal. Next turn both goliath and wizard teleport to safety.

    And that is how we kidnapped the perceived BBEG with a hula hoop.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)14:45 No.15115206
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)16:47 No.15116157
    >DM likes to put electricity traps on everything, door handles, chests, etc.
    >Tank of the party kept getting shocked.
    >He takes the corpse of a goblin he killed.
    >Proceeds to drag it around the entire dungeons, slapping everything with it to test if the object is trapped.

    No one could stop laughing, it was just amazing.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)18:27 No.15117133
    These stories just keep getting better.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)18:36 No.15117243
    Wait, wait, I have one.
    I'm an extremely new DM with even newer players, but still, feel free to laugh at me for this:

    >Warn players of probable TPK, intentionally made them a challenge too hard so they'd get used to character death because they kept getting in OOC fights when they got in trouble
    >They enter the scary barrow, it's a 3-person party
    >Me: "A heavy stone slides down behind you, locking you in."
    >Rogue: "Wait I'm not inside."
    >Me: "Oh. Sorry. It retracts again as the rogue goes through, and closes behind him."
    >Rogue: "As it closes I reach back and try to hold it up."
    >Me: "It retracts again...kind of like an automatic door, you know."
    >Fighter: "I run back and forth, inside and then under it."
    >Now we're all laughing
    >Me: "It bobs up and down."
    >Wizard: "So one of us should just stand there then, and then when we get low on health we can retreat, or lure out foes."
    >Me: "You can't lure these kinds of monsters out of the barrow, and they'll kill you if you try to fight with just two of you."
    >Rogue: "Wait! We'll hire someone!"
    >I say everyone in town is too scared, and there are no soldiers because it's a village after all
    >They do Diplomacy checks and bribes
    >Pay the guy 5 silver, get to run away and rest/heal outside whenever they want

    It was a fail on my part, but a lot of fun for us as a group.
    >> Minifig 05/31/11(Tue)18:40 No.15117290
    >Running Star Wars d6 campaign
    >Got a combat event coming up where some Tusken Raiders drop down from a canyon, stopping the players in their speeder and maki-
    >Player driving the speeder says "I speed up."

    My combat event gets turned into a roadkill event and the session ends a little sooner than I expected, but damn me to Boboqueequee if it didn't make things a little more fun.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)19:39 No.15117870
    Ah, a fantastic case of Grandstandius Interruptus!

    >> Party meets BBEG in a set encounter.
    >> BBEG has false image cast (remote duplicate of person and actions, must have LOS)
    >> Illusion effects to make attacks seem ineffective
    >> Cleric casts dispel magic, then invis purge
    >> MFW BBEG gets a wizard of oz moment
    >> Surprise round involved four nat 20s and a failed save for massive damage.
    >> BBEG turned into a fine red smear.

    Seriously, I no longer grandstand with my BBEGs. Always the lieutenants and mooks that do it now. Between dumb luck and a flair for HATING dramatic cutscenes, my players have killed that habit. To the point of dry in character dialogue about it.
    "He's a talker, isn't he?"
    "Fire, ice, acid or electrocution?"
    "Lets go with electrocution this time, less to clean up."
    >> Creates water, lightning bolts into it near where BBEG in case of illusionist trickery.
    "Yup, that was much cleaner. Look, no ash on my robes!"
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)19:52 No.15117979
    Something I try to do for my players is give them skill points.

    For example: My bard player mentions a couple mornings that she stretches before adventuring. I mark it down, and after a week I tell her to add a rank to her Escape Artist. She seemed damned pleased, and it won't affect balance or anything gamewise. Did the same thing with my cleric player. He prayed a lot recently, and after a week of praying, I gave him a point in Sense Motive (only Wis based skill I could see that was slightly applicable) as sort of a 'guidance of the gods' thing.

    Of course next time they try that it'll take them two weeks to get a skill rank, and they can never go over their max ranks, but they still enjoy it.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)20:27 No.15118250
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)23:10 No.15119613
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    >Rollan up random chargen for a DH game
    >Schola progenium Guardsman
    >Fate of parents is never spoken of
    >random memento is a Family Saber
    >Guardsman has 40 WS and 40BS right out of the box.
    >Gm and I spend an hour coming up with an intriguing backstory about Frastus Remirez, the prodigious boy who does not dream.
    >The rest of the game is spent with Frastus learning interesting snippets and clues here and there about his past, including his father Being from Krieg, and having a twin brother he never knew.
    >Family saber is now his melee weapon of choice.

    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)23:56 No.15120033
    >AdEva, Players are kid mech pilots in a base that sits somewhere in a mixture between North Korea, 1984, and GitS
    >Most of the party play colossal dicks, which to be fair is largely in keeping with the level of mental problems that PCs in the game have to have, the rest of the party just sort of go along with the Neutral Evil-ness of the party
    >One bastion of JUSTICE, a player whose character is the only one who isn't a homicidal dick, and believes strongly enough in moral right to oppose the other characters
    >He asks an NPC if he could have a knife for self-defense after getting stabbed by another PC for taking issue with said PCs decision to refer to their manufactured girl as a "useless bitch", even when her boyfriend just let it slide
    >He has unwittingly asked an NPC who is the master of knives, a lady who fights with knives in a world where guns are king, this is literally her role as an employee
    >She hates all the other pilots because of other neutral evil shit they did
    >Chief evil PC with a penchant for tearing eyes out of things has Phobia: Knives
    Thus was born the Patagonian terror knife.

    It didn't hit hard, but it was a Fear test for anyone seeing someone wielding it, let alone Mr. OHGODNOTTHEKNIVES

    It was used many times in the name of justice, in order to disrupt villainous plans.
    >> Anonymous 06/01/11(Wed)01:27 No.15120856
    It's always when a character just falls into place, isn't it?

    Also, someone really needs to post this topic on sup/tg/.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 06/01/11(Wed)01:32 No.15120928
    If my players talked to me about stuff, I was more than willing to make exceptions or ways to do it.

    For example:

    >Explorator wants to make his natural Genetor claws better
    >Let him Lathe Blade them so he can snikt bubs

    >Arch-Militant wants to Rocket Jump
    >The Ork and the STC craft him a set of Protekty Plates that function as Gunboats

    >Voidmaster wants to upgrade weapon, but doesn't want to give up her current gun.
    >Kombi that shit

    Those were just a few examples.
    >> Anonymous 06/01/11(Wed)01:38 No.15120988
    >Starting up a campaign in Eberron
    >Second time running Eberron, campaign takes place 25 years after the previous campaign
    >This time around all players are required to submit a detailed personal back story and a detailed story on how the group met and which faction they work for
    >Group complains about extra work
    >Tell them they'll get extra feats or items to start out with if they do the work
    >They do the work
    >Time comes to start campaign, show up with a large paper bag
    >Players ask what's in the bag
    >One by one hand them each an object and explain that it is a representation of an in-game object that their characters start out with
    >Items include a grandfather's diary, a ceramic egg that acts as a sending stone, a magic seal from a chivalric order, a tarot card that acts as an access pass to a black market, and a chunk of amethyst that grows hot when near aberrant creatures
    >Objects become a consistent part of the game and the players hold on to them
    >> Anonymous 06/01/11(Wed)01:47 No.15121062
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    >> Anonymous 06/01/11(Wed)02:23 No.15121369
    >Play in a Mythos inspired game set in dark, weird 1980s America.
    >Playing with a close friend who puts TONS of work into his character, a hard-boiled supernatural detective. A kind of pulpy figure who boarders on being a superhero (think The Phantom or The Shadow).
    >Game runs for awhile and much fun is had, but then abruptly stops for no reason. GM just flakes out and says "Don't feel like it" week after week until we all give up.
    >Friend is sad. Very sad.
    >"Fuck it." I declare.
    >Proceed to run a solo adventure for his character. It's basically just 'Murder of the Orient Express,' only with a supernatural twist and taking place on a zeppelin traveling for England instead of a train.
    >There is intrigue, romantic subplots, mystery, suspense, a beautiful Indian princess, and in the end the murderer is revealed to be an African minor goddess of revenge who also happens to be a cat/catgirl that he recruits as a side-kick.
    >Friend still calls it his favorite game ever.

    This solo game also lead directly into my running a larger diceless game that is basically 'Pulp Heroes vs The Martians from War of the Worlds.' It guest starred my character from the original game, who he also loved, and had a wide cast of additional friends. Has had it's ups and downs in running, but it's mostly enjoyed by all.
    >> Anonymous 06/01/11(Wed)05:25 No.15122591
    You are a true bro.
    >> Anonymous 06/01/11(Wed)05:33 No.15122626
    Guys, this thread has been archived!


    Make sure to vote for it!
    >> Anonymous 06/01/11(Wed)14:12 No.15125860
    Story bump
    >> Anonymous 06/01/11(Wed)18:14 No.15128190
    Our Dm always let's things slide if they sound cool enough. My brother runs a LN Necromancer. He has unlimited uses of Arcane Mark as long as he uses the spell to only mark the dead as Innocent or Guilty. In MnM he's allowed us to replace an entire T-Rex display with a reanimated skeleton of one so that we could have a surprise fighter later on. Same MnM game I through van into a building, my party members proceeded to pile out of the van to retrieve a laptop holding useful information. They drove it out of the 5th story window into my waiting arms.

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