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    98 KB Dark Overlord Quest Novice's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/17/11(Tue)18:12 No.14960957  
    Long ago, in a land of ancient secrets and powerful magic, there was a man. This mortal, this singular will, would become the Dark One, the greatest evil of all time. His rise to power and his glorious victories over the pathetic forces of GOOD have become mythical in their own right. His very name is feared, to hear it being a fate worse than death. Those who by some miracle lived through his reign of terror fear his return above all else, for he alone do they consider "Pretty evil. He probably worships demons and stuff."

    As before, I am quite pleased with this new classification. It shows your ever increasing evilness is recognized by the common folk. Congratulations, Dark One. In spite of the fact that it implies you would ever worship anyone.

    Where we left of, you had just been notified of the Drow ambassadors presence in your tower. While one would think that you would have been told the moment they entered Mooncrown territory, it seems your orders were not specific enough. As you grudgingly follow the mayor's assistant to your study, your guards saluting as you pass, you feel your arms being to cool. Gazing down at them as you put one against the wall, it seems to move slightly into the wall for a moment, but reality soon snaps back to normal. The assistant having announced your presence to the Drow within your study, you enter with a faux smile and a cool head. Sitting opposite the Drow matriarch's daughter, the Mooncrown arena champion, you lean back next to the mayor on the couch, doing your best to look that part.
    >> Novice's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/17/11(Tue)18:13 No.14960968
    The witch-mayor pats you on the head like some kind of pet, and though you feel the sudden urge to burn out the eyes of everyone in the room, you resist it, for the moment. As much it pains you, and pains I to see you forced into such a situation. An ambassador, wearing what appears to be your spider's silk, speaks up at this.
    "So, this is the man we've heard so much about. He looks handsome, for a human."
    The witch laughs a bit at this, and you silently grind your teeth. Do try and not kill them all, sire. You'll only be hurting yourself.
    "Oh yes, very."
    "So then, man, what do you have to say for yourself? Were you not amazed at Dricree's victory in your mistress' arena?"

    Oh how I despise elves.

    >Previous Threads, for your consideration:
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)18:13 No.14960969
    Dark Overlord Quest, fuck yeah!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)18:15 No.14960988
    Can we flood the room with spiders, killing all of the non-slave drow in it? Because I think that'd be fun.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)18:16 No.14961005
    Stupid goddamn Drow. I can't wait until they're all dead.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)18:17 No.14961012
         File1305670631.png-(40 KB, 306x368, 1303083110517.png)
    40 KB
    evilhat status: ON
    no apropriate picture to post
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)18:18 No.14961023
    Hell, i just came home, and i find this. Is a great day indeed.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)18:30 No.14961166
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)18:32 No.14961190
    "Oh fair mistress, Dricree's combat prowess is without compare of any I have had the privledge to witness." Feign awe at Dricree's skill and at the drow before you, anything to keep up the charade.

    Since the drow are obviously sexist, it would probably be better to let her handle things and speak only when spoken to.

    As much as i hate it, it seems we should play the part.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)18:39 No.14961269
    YES! Dark Overlord Quest!

    This is good.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)18:40 No.14961285

    Right, the smart way to do this is to play along for now, shuffle wealth around and get our clothes accepted widely throughout the drow civilization. Once we're able to short-circuit any rebellions we'll be able to do what we want with them.

    Haeliira didn't have any ill effects from the shadow contracts she wrote, but she never took over another person's contracts like we did either. It could be related to that, or it could be related to the dragon we drained (again, we tread territory with little precedent).

    Finally, it could be poisoning from living in the tower itself. It is a magic focus for the entire region now.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)18:41 No.14961310
    Speaking of which, we should be able to control all the ZOMBIES in the dungeon now.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)18:57 No.14961502
    bumping for evil
    >> Novice's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/17/11(Tue)19:08 No.14961638
    The Drow laugh as you compliment Dricree with as much humility as you can muster without spraining something. Feigning as much awe as is possible, you calmly sit back on the couch, as the Drow cease their laughter.

    "And he knows his place! You've trained him well, dear mayor."

    The mayor, having gave it her all to join in on the laughter, agrees, and continues to discuss business with the Drow as you do your best to look 'pretty'. Gods, it makes me want to vomit, an evil such as you, playing nice to a bunch of cave elves. But it is necessary, it seems. You must retain your hold on the Drow clan, and to that end Haeliira must seem to be in control. A few spiders watch from the balcony above, no doubt confused at this turn of events. Their eyes shift as you glance their way, appearing to be recording the scene for later. The mayor finds a way to get you out of the room, however. Smiling, she tells you to go get the servants to bring the Drow drinks, and thanking her, you exit the room. Clenching your fist to calm yourself, you light a nearby plant on fire and tell the guards to bring the ambassadors drinks as you leave for the tower focal point, now completed.

    Walking up the outside of the tower, you feel the cold autumn breeze upon you as you climb the exterior of the structure. The climb is long and tiring, as you move ever upwards, magic seeming to warp the space around you, making the climb harder, longer. You remember passing that torch twice now, why are you passing it again?
    >> Novice's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/17/11(Tue)19:10 No.14961662
    But at last, you reach the summit of the tower. Runes and spheres float through the air, over the hundreds of intersecting circles on the floor. The ceiling, open in the center, lets off the occasionally bolt of energy to one of its three supports, as they arc lightning to the central circle. You can practically feel the power course through your body with each step, moving to the center of the focal point with feelings of true awe. Stepping into the circle, you begin to feel time and space twist around you, and with a jolt, find yourself floating... everywhere. You can see the whole of the tower, and all within. Not only that, but you can feel the labyrinths within the Dark Mountain, your spidermen training within. And you can feel the undead in your dungeon, moving back and forth in their pit, the steel gate to the tunnels before them shut tightly. Reaching out with your mind, you grasp the zombies and slowly weave your strings around them. Pulling on them like undead puppets, you have them march forward and backwards, the creatures stepping in unison, obeying your every command. Laughing evilly, your voice booms across your field of awareness, as you drop the undead strings and return to your body.

    Opening your eyes, you breath in sharply as you fall out of the circle. Looking around the focal point, you feel yourself begin to sink into the floor. As you begin to panic, your perception of reality returns to its original state.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)19:16 No.14961739
    We need to Focus all of our attention on figuring out just what the hell is happening to us. Gather all the free servants, spiders and the like and have them search through the library for different magical maladies.

    Claim that its an experiment.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)19:18 No.14961757

    It is obviously related to the tower itself. It's hooking into the local magic field and letting us manipulate it directly.

    We should see if we can hook into magic items with it, and not just the creatures we've treated with magewater.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)19:25 No.14961829
    Well that's just fucking weird. We need to go talk to our Shadow Lawyer.
    >> Heer Vaaghaar 05/17/11(Tue)19:32 No.14961912
    Well, we went to the "Focal point of magic" on top of our tower, it is only natural for us to experience something supernatural because of it.
    Still, I suggest researching this, as it, in my oppinion is similar to godhood, being an omnipresence, even if it is just in a limited area.

    Oh, and I feel the need that we, in some way, increase our magical 'endurance'. I suppose this is needed, because we slept for nearly, or even more then 24 hours after fighting the drow. This long sleep in our lab of sorts probably caused the ashen taste of the food before.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)19:38 No.14961973
    Bumping for OP.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)19:42 No.14962027
    Summon the shadow lawyer while we stand at the top of the tower.

    They drain magical energy as you question them, and we have a high amount at the moment.
    >> Novice's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/17/11(Tue)20:09 No.14962313
    Rising to your feet, you rub your forehead and try to recall how to begin a Shadow Consultation. Your mind still thinking of your out of body experience, you call together mystical forces from around you and begin. It seems easier at the focal point, for some reason. Like there's more magic available. Pulling and stretching the magic around you, time seems to slow, the lightning arcing to the circles seeming to halt. As the world around you goes dark, and the floor turns black, you feel a small amount of energy slowly drain from your body. Ice forms at the edges of the platform, and the sun turns grey and fades out of sight. A familiar red tie pulls itself off the ceiling and to the ground, followed by a shadow of humanoid shape. Adjusting its suit, the Shadow turns to you and speaks.


    Addressing the Shadow directly, you request a consultation. The Shadow smiles with its razor sharp teeth, and laughs.

    You cough a bit, the cold getting to you, and ask the Shadow about your condition. Feeling energy begin to leave your body, your hands go numb as the Shadow responds.

    >> Novice's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/17/11(Tue)20:11 No.14962330
    Taking in the information, you ask another question. How might you cure yourself of your ailment? The Shadow begins to speak, and your arms slowly grow cold.


    You angrily ask him how he could have 'no idea'. He is a Shadow, is he not? You fall backwards as your legs give way, your energy beginning to run out. You cannot hold him for much longer.


    As you try to ask another question, your tongue seems to freeze, as the Shadow fades away. Trying to get up, you watch as the platform returns to normal, the sun burning brightly in the sky. Coughing, your energy slowly returns, the focal point amplifying your ability to drain magic from your surroundings. But trying to summon the Shadow again yields no results. Pulling yourself to your feet, you begin walking down the staircase to the tower main. The trip seems shorter, somehow. You only walk a few yards before coming to the door.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)20:15 No.14962384
    >out of sync

    Greeeeeeat. So now we're gonna start falling through walls and stuff.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)20:16 No.14962397
    Ah shit... well, we already have the power to summon Celestials due to our divine magic, let's get to that, ensure we're able to bind it upon summoning it. Hmm, maybe we can fuse it to a spider, angel spiders would be a great boon.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)20:19 No.14962421
         File1305677946.png-(20 KB, 564x450, 1293940307372.png)
    20 KB
    Well that's mighty disconcertin'.
    What do you guys reckon' we can do?
    Do some lore research? send our spiders to find people who might know about that stuff? extend our mind tendrils from the focal point to pretty much omnisciently find hidden knowledge? shit, I dunno.
    I don't think we can just let this slide, can we?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)20:21 No.14962458
    we barely managed to defeat a drow, what makes you think we can bind a celestial to our will yet?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)20:22 No.14962463
    We should probably avoid using it maybe we should find a way to permanently summon something to our world and use that as a bartering chip for information.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)20:23 No.14962475
    The fact that it was explicitly stated that we had learnt the magic for summoning and binding Celestials in a previous thread unless I'm mistaken? It was in one of Fred's tomes..
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)20:25 No.14962493
    We learned demon summoning, actually, I think. Which demon would be useful for such purposes?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)20:27 No.14962522
         File1305678440.jpg-(245 KB, 700x782, 1293301115870.jpg)
    245 KB
    Oh I forgot that.
    Let's do that, summon then bind (if temporarily) a celestial.
    Let's not denigrate it/her/him further by giving it a spiderbody. let's find and then pie-pact some maid-wench-stableboy, one' a those should suffice. that way the summonee should be more cooperative.
    Otherwise let's just put them in a spider, probe and torture the shizm outta them.
    for long term evil, say aye. for short term spiderprobe, say CAKE
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)20:34 No.14962611
    Maybe we should get access to the drow libraries since they are tied to some evil beings.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)20:34 No.14962614
    Bump for evil!
    Also what are our resources looking like these days? What happened to our Elf Slave?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)20:49 No.14962807
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)20:53 No.14962853
    If we can't find more about our "problem" for now, let's at least get a status update from the Witch on the Drow, possibly using the orb.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)21:04 No.14962983
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)21:06 No.14963002
    Probably writing.
    >> Novice's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/17/11(Tue)21:20 No.14963156
    You've got an extensive amount of wealth at your disposal, though it is less considerable than many might think. With the need to keep the people otherwise preoccupied, the money that's been going towards your little side projects, and the pay for your guards, you spend about 40% of your income a month. The rest you have of course invested in the town, buying up tailors and small merchants to add to your income. The Mooncrown bank, recently opened, has a vault dedicated entirely to your fortune, as does your tower.

    Apart from wealth in the form of currency, you have a considerable stockpile of gold and valuables, all taken from the dragon's hoard. Most of the magic items are weak, things such as rings of fireball and wands of open door. Stuff that you can do yourself.

    As for the Elf thief, he and the assassin have been spending a lot of time together. He, ahem, seems to have a lot of bruises afterwards.

    I believe a Shade would be most suited for the task. They've got a reputation for keeping hidden knowledge.
    >> Novice's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/17/11(Tue)21:21 No.14963167
    As you begin to find your way to the laboratory, you take the time to get an update from the witch. Sifting through her mind, you pluck her sensory input from her orb and listen in. The Drow and the witch are laughing at some joke you missed. Messaging the witch, you ask for an update on the Drow relations. She responds that the ambassadors seem pleased with 'her' gifts, and pushed on by Haeliira, they have proposed an alliance. A limited trade agreement, your digging spiders and a supply of silk, for some of what wealth they get from the Ferdnia government. They'll keep the POWs, but the Picardwall siege weapons and currency are yours. Deactivating the orb, you enter your lab and begin to prepare for the summoning. It takes several minutes, and a lot of patience, as you carefully sketch the summoning circle onto the stone floor. Drawing runes and enclosing them with smaller circles, you copy the diagrams from memory, making sure to make no mistakes. Exiting the circle, you walk inspect it and begin to recite the incantation.

    The candles within flutter to life as you drain magical energy from the surrounding area. Burning ever brighter, you can feel the heat from the meter high flames as you continue to chant the words of summoning. Moving your hands in enclosed patterns, you draw runes in the air before you, and the circle glows with red heat. The center seems to fall downwards, and the portal you have opened roars with power. Pulling forth a Shade with naught but your will, you close the portal as the magic binds the Shade to the circle. Pleased with yourself, you sit back in a chair against the wall as the Outsider examines its surrounds.

    "WhY hAvE yOu CaLlEd Me HeRe MoRtAl?"
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)21:26 No.14963211
    Demand respect. Show control, ask for information as to the effects of shadow magic such as the circles we have used on mortals, and method of reversing their ill effects. And then possibly bind the creature.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)21:28 No.14963226
    I have called you forth to ask questions about shadow magic.

    Tell me everything you know.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)21:29 No.14963233
    Offer to trade something it wants for it curing our shadow magic use side effects.
    Then never actually use shadow magic again, Fuck that hurt.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)21:30 No.14963239
    Ask him if he's thirsty and would like a drink
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)21:32 No.14963266
    Huh, we're sending digging spiders? We'd better send a good number of the smaller ones to kill/watch Haeliira's rivals. If we describe them as requiring orders it should be a good disguise.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)21:40 No.14963344
    Offer to trade him what he wants to cure us ect AND a drink. Being polite is important.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)21:41 No.14963350
    Why not create new diggers containing compartments for the smaller spiders. A Trojan Horse of sorts.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)21:43 No.14963374
    Or a Trojan SPYDER!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)21:47 No.14963413
    Be polite to the Shadow and explain our situation, shouldn't take long and we'll find out what it wants in return.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)21:48 No.14963416
    If we're sending digging spiders to the Drow, we should probably give a few of them orders to find/dig a secret cavern, and prepare to reproduce exponentially at our command.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)22:04 No.14963573
         File1305684244.jpg-(71 KB, 413x666, gillesderais21.jpg)
    71 KB
    rolled 7775 = 7775

    Cool! let's call a Succubi so she speaks all '411 UR B4S3 4R3 B3L0NG T0 U5'
    +1 to the idea of being polite, show some magnificent bastard class. The evil spirits love that shit. Offer him a partnership; we hire him as an external consultant and in turn we sacrifice a goat every two nights or so.

    You saw the shit the Demon pulled on the Drow rite(he FORCEFULLY brought her from the Underdork!)? I don't think we can quite take on a Shade.
    >> Novice's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/17/11(Tue)22:04 No.14963580
    As you demand respect from the creature, it seems to laugh, its voice echoing off the walls over and over with no loss of volume. You glare at it, as it mocks your power.

    "A cHiLd, DeMaNdInG mY rEsPeCt? I aM fAr OlDeR tHaN yOu CoUlD pOsSiBlY iMaGiNe. Go AnD fInD yOuR mAsTeR, bOy, ThAt I mIgHt HaVe HiM pUnIsH yOu."

    Frowning, you gesture with the same binding runes you crafted in the air, and with a bone-chilling scream the Shade fights the circle. The circle holds true, as it sends waves of pain through the creature's body. Doing so for many minutes, you allow the creature to rest for a moment, so as to answer your questions. Offering it a glass of wine, it refuses, and thinks on your questions regarding Shadow magic. The hateful creature answers your request for a cure with another mocking laugh.

    "HoW dO yOu ThInK i BeCaMe TrApPeD iN mY cUrReNt FoRm? I wAs ThE gReAtEsT mAgE oF mY tImE. mY cOmMaNd Of ShAdOw MaGiC wAs LeGeNdArY. uP uNtIl ThE dAy It KiLlEd Me. ThErE iS nO cUrE, sAvE dEaTh."

    Waving at it once more, sending it into spasms of pain, you crush the wine glass beneath your heel. Questioning it further, you ask it of its use of Shadow magic. What spells did it use to earn such a reputation? The Shade, in all its spiteful glory, answers with amusement. As you press it further, it unveils to you the dark secrets of Shadow magic, the secrets most do not know. The fate of the souls used to power contracts, and other unnatural consequences. Taking notes in a large blank book, you press the Shade for information for many an hour, filling the pages with equations and words, all pointing to death being the only cure. Several times you torture the creature in anger, but calm yourself.
    >> Novice's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/17/11(Tue)22:05 No.14963585

    By midday, you have filled the book with the Shade's knowledge, and it, with its wretched humor, continues to mock you. Claiming that you shall soon find yourself in its presence once more, the vile creature mocks you once more as your dismiss it, the candles completely burned down.

    "YoU wIlL bE oUrS."

    The red eyes and white teeth fade into the darkness of your lab as you read through your notes once more. The Shadow realm, it seems, is more than merely another plane. It is the endpoint for souls, the place where all those without an afterlife to go to find themselves. The Shadows feed off the souls, but always want more. They cannot leave the Shadow realm of their own, however. They need mortals to gather souls for them. Thusly did they create the Pact of the Shadow, the means through which the will of the Shadows was forced upon the other planes. Wherever there were sentient beings, the Shadows could find someone to take for their own. Binding their own essence into the Contracts, they took the sacrifices to feed upon. And with the gates between the Shadow realm and the other planes opened, Shadow magic took its place in reality.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)22:05 No.14963589
    Tell it to speak properly.
    And grab a lemon for good measure.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)22:07 No.14963606
    >There is no cure, save death.

    Well shit. Looks like we have to die, and come back to life somehow.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)22:08 No.14963622


    time to invest in necromancy
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)22:10 No.14963636
         File1305684617.jpg-(17 KB, 264x399, Benito_Mussolini.jpg)
    17 KB
    rolled 675 = 675

    >Create rape factory, hook them up on our cheap, mass-produced souls, become the Steve Jobs of the Shadowplane.
    Pic related, Battle of Births, look it up!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)22:14 No.14963670
    rolled 7580 = 7580

    Let's save that for contingency plan B, how are we going to enjoy the pleasures of life without the equipment needed, y'know, down there?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)22:14 No.14963674
    I see 3 possible choices to over come our inevitable death.

    1) We l2necromancy and become a lich.

    2) We l2artifice and soultransfer our selves into a golem body with magical wards all over it.

    3) We l2mindswap and keep swapping bodies as they become too corrupted to sustain us.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)22:16 No.14963689
    ForeSHADOWing indeed.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)22:17 No.14963698
    You know, the shade could've been lying just to spite us. He does seem like kind of a dick.

    Besides, what kind of "Greatest Mage" actually lets himself die?
    >> Novice's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/17/11(Tue)22:17 No.14963702
    Again, sire? You really used that same pun again?

    Just, stop. Please, for the sake of all your minions, just stop.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)22:17 No.14963707
    rolled 93 = 93

    welp, looks like it's time to become a dark lord of the dead.

    and spiders...dead spiders..
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)22:17 No.14963708
         File1305685079.jpg-(30 KB, 500x367, 1301596803080.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)22:19 No.14963716
    Is it really that bad?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)22:19 No.14963721
         File1305685189.jpg-(78 KB, 503x744, 737604-m.bison48_super.jpg)
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    Bodyswapping sounds the most EVIL. It also allows for hilarious subterfuge.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)22:20 No.14963734
    It really is. You could even say that it's quite...ghastly.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)22:24 No.14963751
    Idea number 4.

    Find a way to consume a few hapless peasants souls. Maybe, if it is indeed our soul rotting away, consuming other souls will bolster ours enough to survive.
    We can get cellar and treat souls like fine wines.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)22:24 No.14963754
    OR, we can pull an EU Emperor, and CLONE a new, greatly improved body. And I mean improved in ever department. Stronger bones, denser muscle, greater pain tolerance, the works.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)22:26 No.14963764
    What do our books tell us of ways to achieve imortality, do we have any that speak of such a thing?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)22:27 No.14963792

    The shade was bound, it probably was not lying, though it could have exaggerated its powers in life. And in any case, death can come suddenly to shadow mages.

    It was probably telling the truth.

    We know a couple of things now. We know that the damage shadow magic does to a user is as much metaphysical damage to reality around the the mage as to the mage himself, and we know that it accumulates. We know it originates from the inherent incompatibility between the shadow realm and the material realm.

    The solution is simple. Instead of changing ourselves, we simply need to make the material realm more like the shadow realm.

    This opens up an option 4) Let's research the metaphysics of the shadow realm further and learn how to tweak reality here to our liking. Once we can, we just need to modify a bubble of reality around us to be more like the shadow realm. We can keep expanding this bubble as we like, until it encompasses the entire world.

    This is much better than shifting our mind around (and there's no telling if the damage is attached to our corpus or our soul anyway).
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)22:30 No.14963815
    Samefag is right. While we could make reality more like the shadow realm, that might take years, decades, or hundreds of years. Let's get ourselves a reliable method of semi-immortality, THEN work on changing reality.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)22:31 No.14963823
    Changing reality isnt exactly that fees-able of a plan to save our selves.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)22:31 No.14963830

    This, this, omg this!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)22:34 No.14963853
    Let's go with artifice since it's easier to create backup bodies and we can combine it with our gems (once they are more advanced) to control others as opposed to sudden changes in mannerisms.
    >> Anon 05/17/11(Tue)22:37 No.14963874
    Can we bind our own soul&Magics to the earthly realm?

    That may be one answer
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)22:40 No.14963895
    Ok, but what are we going to do NOW?

    Maybe summon some Succubi or Balors or something, ask them about coming back from the dead?
    >> Anon 05/17/11(Tue)22:40 No.14963896
    I vote for either Lich or Artifice

    Become a spider!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)22:43 No.14963916
    Let's ask the matron what sort of magical research she's done. Discuss the problem with her and get her to think about possible avenues of fruitful research in undoing damage caused by planes clashing.

    When we call her up to us, strip her down again, just so she knows who is boss.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)22:49 No.14963949
    I'm with this.

    Begin looking into artifice considering we already know how to make spiders and shit. Maybe we can make our selves a body like Tevesh Savat or whatever from magic.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)22:54 No.14964000
    But we don't wanna lose our dick. Do we?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)22:55 No.14964008
    rolled 2317 = 2317

    Nah, becoming a Lich since our senses and being start getting phased out of reality is the pussy way; to get off the road, curl up and die like a miserable little bitch faggot who ain't got the balls to get shit done. The true Dark, Evil way is to bring down the goddamn world around us so we can continue tasting our goddamn morning Coffee!
    >> Anon 05/17/11(Tue)22:55 No.14964009
    HMm.... Maybe turn the world the way of Phyrexia?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)22:55 No.14964015
    I know liches are the traditional route for wizards who just don't want to die, but bones are so passe. I say we build a new body; out of very cores of stars if that's what it takes to be nearly invincible.
    Or we could just consume a few peasant souls. That's, you know, easier than building a 300ft body out of pure magic and rare metals and shit.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)22:59 No.14964051
    Lets see if we can't eat some peasant souls and stave off the effects, looking into lichdom and other stuff for the future. Also, can we eat DRAGONS to stave it off?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:00 No.14964070
    Summoning the celestial opposite of the shadow could be a good idea, could see what the "good guys" have to offer in the realm of not dying. Of course we'd have to keep word from getting out that we can use shadow magic, and are fated to be EVVVVILLLLLL.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:11 No.14964186

    I like this idea, get an angels perspective on this, I'm sure it would be less damning.
    >> Novice's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/17/11(Tue)23:14 No.14964212
    While you know not of the exact methods by which you might achieve immortality, you do know stories. Many, many stories. Tales of beings who through their own power, defeated death itself, through many differing means. The most well know of these are as follows:

    There was Thraxia of the North, a northern mage of legend. It is said that he enchanted his own body with powerful magic, that his bones would hold his mind after his death. And for centuries after his death, his homeland was said to be haunted by a robed skeleton, who took their people in the dead of night, never to be returned. It is said that they were brought to Mount Diablo, but for what reason remains unknown.

    There was Forge the Mad, for whom the forge is named. The greatest artificer in history, his artifacts persist to this day, and those who wield them are said to be mightier than gods. For centuries he worked in his workshop within the volcano of Mount Diablo, slowly replacing his body with pieces of his own design.

    And then there was the sorceress Hecate. Though she died many times, she never stayed dead long. She merely took the bodies of others for her own, until finally being defeated forever on the plains below Mount Diablo, her tower crumbling into the volcano. The resulting eruption buried the land in ash for decades, and in the aftermath Mount Diablo was destroyed, and its location lost.
    >> Novice's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/17/11(Tue)23:14 No.14964223
    Deciding upon summoning another Outsider to question, you decide to summon an Archon and a Succubi to question. These creatures being far easier to bind to this world than Shades, you easily draw the circles through which you will pull them into the world. The runes are far simpler, and the incantation shorter. Placing the candles within the circle, you begin again, summoning the Archon first. The candles light, but burn only faintly, though the entire room seems to illuminate. As the portal opens, light shines forth, and from the circle comes a ball of golden light. The runes around the circle holding it on this plane, the portal closes once more, and the sphere of gold swims through the air. You feel its gaze set upon you.

    "Ah, good day to you mortal! What might I help you with?"
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:15 No.14964226

    Sure, it'd be a good idea to get all the information we can before commiting ourselves to a plan.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:15 No.14964230
    rolled 2324 = 2324

    I'm with them if this means advancing the story. inb4VoilĂ !Inview,ahumblevaudevillianveteranAngel
    Before condemning this plane to ETERNAL DAMNATION we should see what he light side has to offer. So as long as it's not release--all--pacts fucking retarded we should be fine. Alternatively; start harvesting organs and graft them to our body, SCIENCE! style.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:16 No.14964237
    guy's we should go to Mount Diablo
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:17 No.14964251
    "I used shadow magic to defeat a rampaging dragon and now I'm horribly fucked up. How can I fix it?"
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:17 No.14964256
    Ya even if we decide to not go with the artificer route we can still see if we can learn from his techniques through lost journals and tomes.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:17 No.14964264
    Ask about the same questions we asked the Shade, but without revealing we are evil. Also, be polite.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:18 No.14964268

    Do this >>14964070

    And be polite.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:19 No.14964291
         File1305688772.jpg-(14 KB, 276x205, isildur.jpg)
    14 KB
    rolled 3314 = 3314


    When he says "Relinquish your powers" softly say "...no" Then DRAIN HIS ESSENCE. That should balance the shadow curve right?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:20 No.14964303
    Sooo, why aren't we already searching for this Mount Diablo?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:22 No.14964333
    No. Can't we relinquish the Dragon Powerz? And then practice Arcane/Divine magic well enough to replicate their loss.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:23 No.14964353

    We'll make a note to get on that as soon as we're finished here. Send our best spider-constructs out to search for information or paths which might lead there.
    >> Anon 05/17/11(Tue)23:24 No.14964355
    "I have a question in regards to shadow magic, you see, It has come to my attention that it is far more dangerous for beings than was previously known, and a friend of mine has begun to... Be cloaked in these shadows, and I fear for him. I do not want him to go the way of the shade's, and yet I know of nothing that I can do.

    Could you help me?"
    >> Anon 05/17/11(Tue)23:25 No.14964375
    And use them for others.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:25 No.14964376

    "A rampaging dragon threatened my town. To defeat it, I used a magic-draining circle from a book of what turned out to be shadow magic. I know, it was stupid to use something I didn't understand, but I was desperate, pressed for time, and my master was dead.

    "So, I manged to kill the dragon with help from my friends and the shadow magic. Unfortunately, I was exposed to a great deal of shadow magic "radiation", for lack of a better term. It's done long-term damage to the metaphysical structures around my body. I'm exploring options for repairing this damage. So far my research has only turned up fully swapping my body out, somehow, as the only possible option besides dying and giving my soul up to the shadows. Neither of these are very appealing. The former seems very risky, and the latter is the shadow realm.

    "Is there anything I can do to fix this? It's affecting my perception of time, my thoughts, my dreams, my senses."
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:26 No.14964389
         File1305689182.jpg-(144 KB, 950x1369, executivealphabastard.jpg)
    144 KB
    rolled 6370 = 6370


    O mean, we can hardly consider ourselves EVIL if we relinquish our powers at the earliest inconvenience? The whole Evil part comes from forcing reality to do our bidding, not gracefully adapting to it like some pansy bitch ass Elves.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:26 No.14964394
    Ask our minions (Assassin and Orc Samuraiii) where this dragon makes its lair, I predict... MOUNT DIABLO.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:27 No.14964399

    This sounds good, use it.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:28 No.14964416
    We can, however consider ourselves survival minded. Being infected with a power that fucks with how we perceive reality is not a strength it's a liability.

    Consider what the Evil Overlord list has to say on the subject of energy fields and our head.
    >> Anon 05/17/11(Tue)23:28 No.14964421
    Also include that escaping death may be an affront to some gods, and that is not something we care to do.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:31 No.14964454

    Which I hope is us completely bullshitting the celestial in hopes of making ourselves seem not evil? Because to an Evil Overlord like ourselves, escaping death seems like a pretty sweet deal, we just don't want to jump into a risky option if a better one is available first.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:32 No.14964463
    rolled 1535 = 1535

    Pretty much go with this. Also ask him if absorbing some divine 'essence' may counteract the effects of the shadow magic. Explain that by 'essence' you mean holy bread sanctified in the services of [fictionalreligion], the tears of a Saint or the Holy water from a church. That way he won't see it coming! unless... he has a detect evil aura or something.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:33 No.14964472
    While 3 is always effective, it usually seems to short out after a while.
    We're going to either have to find a way to become immortal (Dark god, anyone?), or lich it up.
    >> Anon 05/17/11(Tue)23:34 No.14964480
    Of course. Why the hell would we close up options?

    And I ultimatly want us to ditch the bag of bones we are in for a nice and shiny Carapace.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:34 No.14964481

    I, for one, would rather choose Ascendance to Evil Demigod (or full-on god if we can swing it) over lichdom.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:37 No.14964511
    And I don't wish to end up dickless.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:37 No.14964514

    Carapace? Makes sense, we are trying to keep up our spider motif, after all.

    But while we still have to maintain pretenses of not being completely evil, we should hold off on that. Soon there will come a time when we can reveal the true extent of the blackness of our soul to the world. But that time is not now.
    >> Anon 05/17/11(Tue)23:38 No.14964526
    Thus we craft a body for ourself.

    And we will not be dickless.

    Ascension could be a good long term goal.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:39 No.14964543
    rolled 38 = 38

    Lolth won't be SHIT compared to us.
    >> Anon 05/17/11(Tue)23:41 No.14964561
    ...Goal B: Make Lolth our bitch when we become a god.
    Then we can do whatever the fuck w3e want, and have a badass evil god who is cunning to bounce idea's off of.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:41 No.14964568
    This is now how i picture us with the witch.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:43 No.14964590
    Except with spiders everywhere.
    And of course the which will have a drow on a leash.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:49 No.14964680
    rolled 6609 = 6609

    ...No. For the root of all this Feminist supremacy bullshit, such is a fate far too good for her. Let her name be forgotten but from the most learned and obscure annals, let her temples be run into ruin and dust, let her race die out, not in a single majestic event that sends repercussions towards the entire galaxy and is echoed for eternity; effectively becoming the greatest Monument, but rather as a whimper; that Death comes slowly but surely to these disgusting bitches, their blood thinner each generation, their decadency mere nostalgic remnants of their glorious days, their faces blurred and unrecognizable. Let these savages turn to darkness, to oblivion. Let their name become naught but a footnote on a sage's journal. A mere blink. Nothing. And women be treated as per the FATAL corebook, that'll teach them to mess with James Mcbadguy!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:52 No.14964707
    rolled 27 = 27


    Oh come now. We should be an equal opportunity evil overlord.

    All shall recieve equal opression and misery under our rule, regardless of gender or race.

    Except for Elves and Drow. Fuck those pointy-eared pretentious bastards.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:52 No.14964714
    rolled 89 = 89

    Stiiiill not seeing the interference with making Lloth our bitch.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:53 No.14964721
         File1305690784.jpg-(23 KB, 378x340, 1304730658740.jpg)
    23 KB
    rolled 100 = 100

    jesus, man. thats...evil...yessssssss.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:53 No.14964722
         File1305690786.jpg-(50 KB, 600x585, 1140922-deathmetal_super.jpg)
    50 KB
    rolled 1827 = 1827

    I was thinking more along the ines of this but whateva!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:53 No.14964736
    Why throw away a tool simply because it is unsuited for the task at hand?

    Why not re-forge it into what we want? Why not make it into what we need?

    We do not need to do that, to erase her name.

    Would it not make us greater to have her in our Harem? To command such respect that she could never have drawn? to have gods at our beck and call?

    TO win so completely, that they serve us willingly?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:54 No.14964738
    rolled 3 = 3

    I vote we treat the drow females in particular as per the FATAL rulebook for their many transgressions against us. The males can share the fate of the elves, whatever that may be.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:55 No.14964751
    rolled 73 = 73

    But her being willing is so much less fun.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:56 No.14964772
    Personally I would like to open a portal to the Abyss in the Underdark on whatever level rape is represented, but I'm outvoted.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:56 No.14964773
    All these grand goals for our endgame are wonderful, but we have more urgent matters to attend to right now.

    So, our itenerary:

    1. Find a way to counteract ill effects of shadow magic
    2. Ascend to godhood
    3. Make Lolth our bitch and subjugate the entire Drow race
    4. ???
    5. Profit!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:59 No.14964804
    Hey guys, don't forget, we have soul-binding contracts. Ones that can be edited too.

    Who is to say that they expire with death? Who is to say that we can edit them so they DON'T?

    It's simple, really; we establish contingency plans.

    Plan 1: Using Soul-bound servants. We become a Shade, yes, but through the soul-binding of servants, we have them either A: become our temporary vessel, or B: continue to work in our name, sacrificing more souls for us to feed upon as a Shade until a time so that we can return and fuck shit up. As a Shade perma-possessing someone. Would work best if said someone is one with authority (Kings, Lords, the prince next in line for the throne, etc.)

    Plan 2: Cloud conscience within the spiders. We use our spiders as our vessel for when we die, their collective being the container for our soul. With this, we will forever be with them, have the ability to be everywhere at once, and possibly expand our soul beyond the limitations of one meat bag of a body, and have the ability to combine into one awesome spider.

    >We can also call ourselves the spider lord.

    Plan 3: Godhood/Lichdom. The eventual goal of Plans 1 & 2. Much easier to do once we're dead and don't have to worry about rotting flesh or perma deaths.

    Also, for the most loyal subject, I vote for Lliara being the one. In a weird, twisted perversion of her "love" for us, she would become our vessel, our "mother." Which would make turning her into our eternal companion kind of awkward.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)23:59 No.14964806
    ah, but erasing her name can only be done once.
    Breaking her and reforging her into a symbol of our power, that not even the might of gods can stand against?

    That is true evil. and entertainment.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:00 No.14964817
    Nah. Going with possession.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:02 No.14964831
    >cloud consciousness with spiders

    That is awesome.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:03 No.14964848

    We can also possess via soul-binding contracts.

    In any case, I think it would be a good idea to at least create a backup plan. The spider one seems the safest, as being large in number and likely to spread, they would all be able to contain our consciousness and allow us to repeatedly escape death.

    So to that end, I suggest we begin earnest research into the transfer of one's soul, as well as methods to turn our soul into a cloud conscience.

    We can also speed this up a bit by creating that damn magic academy to train our Dark Apostles. All those apostles can be put to work experimenting. Just like graduate students!

    >Implying that every noble would be fighting to fund that place once they realize we're researching methods to immortality.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:03 No.14964849
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:04 No.14964865
    Averse, that is.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:05 No.14964878

    Because when we become the anthropomorphic personification of Evil, I doubt we will have need of such base desires. We can get our pleasure from far more powerful actions than just sexual intercourse by that point.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:05 No.14964881
    Hence the dark godhood.
    Our dick can be bigger than our tower for all we care.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:06 No.14964891
    Bu we will need our penis to fuck goddesses!!
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:06 No.14964894
    rolled 93 = 93


    we can keep the assassin as our queen, the witch as our concubine, and Lolth as the bitch.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:07 No.14964906
    I know I, for one, wouldn't lose my dick for anything.
    Shit, when you are evil incarnate, why not conjure a penis?
    >> Novice's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/18/11(Wed)00:08 No.14964919
    Weaving for the Archon a tale of heroism and self sacrifice, you are more than thankful you remembered to weave runes into the circle to block the Archon's evil detection. Indeed, it should be getting a reading of 'neutral' from you. As with most people. The archon swims through the air as you speak, slowing so as to pay more attention.

    "Though I cannot say I approve of your use of Shadow magic, my son, the fact that you did it to save others makes up for the incursion into darkness, if only barely. But I cannot lie to you. Your life is forfeit. But fear not, for even as you fall, Good shall always triumph over evil. Thus it is written, and so it shall be."

    Hiding your disappointment with the Archon's answer, you ask if you might somehow reclaim your soul, that you might enter the afterlife. The Archon seems to blur for a moment, thinking. Then it speaks once more, as you get another book with which to take notes. Its voice, though supposed to be calming and serene, seems flat and unexpressive to you.

    "There is no path through good, my young mage. But to turn to evil, that you might question them on such things? To do so would damn your soul, regardless of whether or not they show you how to reclaim it. Therefore do I offer you my sympathy. Such as you are, you would have made a glorious leader, and lead the people of your world to a new age. But alas, the Shadow magic has shattered all hope of that occurring. Though vengeance is not the way of good, retribution is. One day, the Shadows will pay for all the lives they have destroyed. This I promise you."
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:09 No.14964923
    >assassin queen
    The one that isn't our slave? Poor choice.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:10 No.14964937
    rolled 6372 = 6372

    Ah yes but you can only release the Tarrasque on the material world so many times before they all die...
    >> Novice's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/18/11(Wed)00:10 No.14964942
    Thanking the Archon, you sit back in your chair as if devastated. The Archon seems to sadden as you wave your hand, and the portal below it opens. Giving you one last glance, the golden orb floats downwards, into the Celestial Realm.

    Throwing the book onto a nearby table angrily, you erase the markings around the circle with the flat of your foot. Using chalk and sand you remake the circle to summon the Succubi. Pulling the melted candles from the floor, you replace them with new ones and slowly carve runes into the air before you. Reciting the summoning spell from memory, the candles flicker to life, shedding a red glow across the room. The portal sinks downwards once more, and from it comes a cloud of black smoke. Coalescing into a vaguely humanoid shape, the admittedly attractive, tiefling-like creature licks its lips and looks around the room. Its wings stretching out to fill the rest of the circle, the Succubi looks in your direction. Leaning down to the level of your leaning face, its breast exposed to you, it laughs in an eerily feminine voice.

    "Why, hello there sexy. Didn't know kids like you could get so good at summoning."

    Why must everyone comment on your age, sire? I would think being the embodiment of all evil would make them less likely to judge you based on physical factors.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:10 No.14964943
    rolled 45 = 45

    the witch loves us because contract, the assassin wants us of her own volition.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:10 No.14964945
    Ah, fuck. Consume it and talk to the succubus.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:10 No.14964951
    So, uh, this what about this Archon, eh?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:11 No.14964953
    ...If we do it right, we could even give our spiders souls.

    Actually, we should ensure that we can give our spiders souls, and soon.

    Make them better.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:12 No.14964967
    >less likely to judge you based on physical factors

    No minion, that's GOOD. EVIL is very shallow, and more likely to judge people based on physical factors.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:12 No.14964976
    "Oh, shut up, demon slut. I summoned you for a reason other than you commenting on my age".
    Explain our problem.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:14 No.14964992
    Fuuuuuuuuuuck, never mind. Spoke too soon.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:14 No.14964995
    I need information, and a copy of the Kama Sutra.

    I need information on Mt. Diablo, cheating death, ascension to godhood, and artificing, and I want to keep my dick throughout.

    The Kama sutra is more for my personal life.

    Can you help?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:14 No.14965000
    Speak for yourself. Evil is not a unified force.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:17 No.14965033

    This... yeah, let's do this one.

    Also ask if there's a method to penetrating the Shadow Realm and eating all them Shades/Shadow people.

    Because through consumption, therein lies victory, as well as the absorption of their power.

    That they dream to devour us? FUCK THEM! WE WILL STRIKE THEM FIRST!

    And when the world celebrates our names, when the people call us a hero, and when gods favor us, it is then, and only then, do we turn our wretched face, and ascend to godhood, and plummet the world into the chaos and evil of our soul!

    Also ask about creating that cloud consciousness. And if our little robot children have souls, and if it's possible to split a soul up amongst small artifacts.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:20 No.14965067
         File1305692432.jpg-(24 KB, 320x360, laharl21_2.jpg)
    24 KB
    rolled 2639 = 2639

    Perfect foil to cement our grouchy nature, I love it. No point in being suave to her, they fuck for a living...literally. >>14964995
    Go with these. Do we know if Succubus(pl.Succubae?) slowly feed on our soul when having sex, and if said damage is permanent? Tell her we MAY be able to promise her 5 young boys if she helps us with information, to keep her enticed.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:22 No.14965090

    Alternatively, would it be possible to, ummm... implant bits and pieces of our soul into our... sperm?

    You know, so we can go around, living it up in debauchery, making as many wimmenz preggers as possible, so that when we die, we have the whole cloud consciousness thing, but this time spread across many little evil bastards that we're going to control/influence, so that one day, they will summon us so that we may consume the world?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:24 No.14965116
    rolled 5401 = 5401

    Better pull a Baldur's Gate, less Herp Derp.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:24 No.14965121
    I for one think that the waifu witch would make the perfect dark queen.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:26 No.14965138
    Assasin would be queen.
    Witch would be consort, concubine, or mistress.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:29 No.14965169
    To each his own i suppose.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:31 No.14965198
    well, the way I figure it, the witch only loves us because the contract says so. Thats just..empty, and she would gladly accept a position as footstool if it meant she could be around us. The assassin, on the other hand, actually loves us on her own, thats wife material.

    and lolth is goddess of drow, so she gets bitch position...the assassin can torture her for fun, or something.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:31 No.14965205

    I vote for the witch to be our dark queen wife thing. After all, she's got crazy magic powers, right? And magic talent is something you inherit, right?

    Of course, we could go all out harem route and call each of them our dark queens.

    >This probably includes the Drow bitch(es) as well.

    In which case, we have our son(s) and/or daughter(s) fight each other for supremacy. Not sure what that would accomplish, aside from possibly plunge the world into war and darkness and provide us a perfect scenario to go feastin' on some yummy souls throughout the resulting apocalyptic magic war.

    Elaborate, vile fiend.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:35 No.14965233
    Well, think about it. We want our queen by our side, and we want a bodyguard who can protect us from all manner of assasin's and unsavory and unusable people.

    And we need someone who can go out, and be a power in their own right, a diplomat of sorts.

    The Assassin fills the first roll, the witch the second. Though a Succubus suitably disillusioned would work well too.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:35 No.14965234
    Just have both be our wives. Evil doesn't give a fuck about marriage laws. Problem solved.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:35 No.14965240
    I see her as genuinley loving us or as one guy put it, stockholme syndrome. She more or less hated us until we tenderly took care of her after the assassin tortured her. And again after the battle with the Drow nuked her.

    I admit im a sap, but i believe she no longer follows the contract because shes forced to , but because she wants to and if it breaks, she wont really change.

    My viewpoint though is just that, mine. I admit its probably a stupid one, but thats what i like to think.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:37 No.14965253
    Just have all fucking three as wives. So says we must stick to one?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:39 No.14965269
    I thought we where building a harem? Some of our women may have more privledges than others true, but still a Harem. Not some queen nonsense.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:42 No.14965306
    you gotta keep up appearances..besides, you need to pick your favorite to have as a wife, because that one will be the one you present to diplomats prior to the whole becoming a god thing.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:43 No.14965309

    Exactly! Problem solved!

    Can't decide which to bed?


    They'll all be ours! We're EVIL. Why do we have to do what society says is right? What's to stop us from building our harem and fucking a different woman every day of the week?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:45 No.14965329
    No, we fucking don't. If diplomats don't like it, they can smoke our pole.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:45 No.14965333

    In terms of wife, I say the witch is ideal. Also, she came first, and it wouldn't be so strange if the two of us became an item.

    I mean, COME ON! We defeated her, then "helped her become a good and upstanding citizen and Mayor of the town/city/thing" blah blah blah. And everyone knows that we're always with her.

    Everyone and their mothers are probably waiting for the day our wedding day will be announced.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:49 No.14965360
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:49 No.14965366
    the witch can go suck a drow clit, the assassin is the superior favorite.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:52 No.14965392
    Why do we need only one, again?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:55 No.14965409
    Simple Wichever one lets us fuck in the ass first wins, Numbe one in the harem,

    Appearances though , witch all the way.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:55 No.14965420
    you can have a million concubines, but only one can be your favorite.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)00:57 No.14965437
    Whichever one pleases us most at the moment shall be it. There is no reason to have "favorite" set in stone.
    >> Blackheart !!d+z47tvchVl 05/18/11(Wed)00:59 No.14965454
         File1305694753.jpg-(51 KB, 427x460, disgaea-succubus.jpg)
    51 KB
    Did someone say drow clit?

    I see what you did there. And I like it, little boy.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)01:01 No.14965474
         File1305694867.jpg-(41 KB, 435x571, wizardwhohasmorempthanhp.jpg)
    41 KB
    rolled 3758 = 3758

    Upon reading a bit, I found out it was not so much Bhaal's(God of Murder) plan but rather Bane's. It's one of the premises of the Baldur's Gate Saga(SPOILERS for a game what, ten years old by now?):
    >The Lord of Murder shall perish
    >But in his death he shall spawn a score of mortal >progeny
    >Chaos will be sown from their passing
    So sayeth the wise Alaundo


    >For Bane, it soon became apparent, death was but a temporary setback. Anticipating the possibility of his own death Bane, the god of tyranny had, like his companion Bhaal, created a scion for the purpose of his own regeneration. When the time was right Xvim, who was in fact little more than a cocoon to contain the essence of Bane, burst forth into the black and armored figure of Bane, destroying the younger god entirely. This event, which occurred on Midwinter in the Year of Wild Magic, appears to have been in part the work of the lich Szass Tam as well, who performed a summoning the same night. Overnight the Faithful of Xvim, led by the god's Chosen Fzoul Chembryl converted to the worship of their returned master, as did many of Cyric's own worshipers.

    It doesn't say what kind of ritual was performed, though, and my knowledge of this field is very limited. My best guess is that is some Epic level Divine Magick that used his progeny as a material Focus to bind his Essence to a familiar body. I believe the Witch Lliara could pull this one off, and we could return the favor, effectively living in the bodies of our descendants for all eternity....or till she got mad @ us for forgetting our anniversary lol.

    Aeditted for horrendous grammer mistakes.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)01:02 No.14965492
    rolled 465 = 465

    >Let's all be friends!
    >> Novice's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/18/11(Wed)01:03 No.14965508
    As you are aware, Succubai don't actually feed off souls. Rather, they feed of the corruption of the innocent. Generally through sex. The whole 'soul' thing is because people tend to get damned to the Infernal Planes as a result of relations with Succubai.

    Ordering the Succubus to silence herself, you pay no attention to her attempts to seduce you. Questioning the Succubus regarding your problem with Shadow magic, you order her to answer your questions to the best of her knowledge. The Succubus gives up trying to seduce you about halfway through, it becoming painfully obvious that you only want answers. Sighing, she folds her arms over her chest and sits cross legged on the ground. What a childish creature. As if pouting like a little girl would change you mind.

    "Fine, I'll answer your stupid questions. And give you the book, not that you couldn't just have it imported. Not like I have things to do, oh no."

    Waiting patiently in your chair, you gesture for her to get on with it.

    "Alright, calm the fuck down. Heh... fuck... anyways. I've got no idea where in the Planes your stupid Mount Diablo is. You think you're a first mortal to ask me that question? More like the hundredth. Most of them seemed to think it's somewhere off the coast of Panala. Wherever that is. But I'd assume it's near water, given the whole 'coast' thing."

    The Succubus lies back in the circle, her legs using it like a wall to hold themselves above her head. You sigh as she adjusts her wings.
    >> Novice's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/18/11(Wed)01:05 No.14965515
    "And the whole 'reclaim your soul' thing is out of my jurisdiction. Even if you get yourself damned to the Infernal Planes, the Shadows still get you anyways. The Pact is as tight as an Angel on that sort of thing. So you're basically fucked. Which I can do, by the way."

    You angrily look at the Succubus and frown.

    "Oh, you're no fun. Alright, so you could destroy your soul, but that would also kill you. Going to the Shadow realm won't work, because you'll just get broken down into your base materials as soon as you pass through the planar barrier. I don't know. Maybe if you had a friend in the Shadow realm, it could bid on your soul and give it back to you. It would probably just eat it anyways though. Yeah, you're screwed hun. Unless you manage to somehow go back and time and get yourself reborn a Shadow, you've got no hope at all."

    The Succubus finished with answering your questions, you get up from your chair. Approaching the circle, you take the book from her hands as she produces it, as it passes through the barrier and out of the circle.

    "Anything else I can help you with? Maybe you need to relax a bit?"

    Ignoring the Succubus, you throw the book onto the table and look out the window. The sun is about halfway down from midday.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)01:06 No.14965529
    Ask her what having sex with us would do for both us and her.

    Ask her what she does for fun, besides sex, and if she wants to be free in the mortal world.

    Then we can release her for her to have fun (if possible)
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)01:07 No.14965538

    You know, since she asked, why not give her a good sexing?

    Then once we're done, we suck the magic out of her.

    Or just skip the sexing and take her magic from her.

    That, or we ask about making horny pheromones. Ones we can use in place of a charm spell. Or stick in pie to create really awesome parties.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)01:10 No.14965563
    rolled 5575 = 5575

    As a reward for her services; release her from the Binding Magicks and grant her a small boon, for 12 hours she shall look and smell as a comely maiden, without wings nor the smell of brimstone. The sun has almost settle, let her go and have a bit of fun in town. yes, I'm not really evil but not-acting-like-a-total-asshole can give us some brownie points, form relationships which we can after abuse right? And, deep down, I guess I want to be the lucky guy who gets to have free sex with a Succubus.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)01:10 No.14965564
    adding a succubus to the harem?

    I like your style.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)01:11 No.14965567
    ...That is our answer.
    We steal a shadow's magic.

    The same goddamn way we stole the dragon's.

    And we do the exact same thing with some light being that can planeshift.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)01:11 No.14965568
    Let's go and see what the Drow are doing.

    Drain the powers of the Succubus too.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)01:12 No.14965577
    No harem can be considered complete without a succubus!!

    More seriously though, it looks like we are well and truly fucked with this shadow thing.

    Try to summon the shadow consultation again? Now that we know more, we might be able to ask him questions he may know the answer to.

    For instances, making a contract that would bind your own soul to the material realm?

    food for thought.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)01:14 No.14965591
    rolled 4464 = 4464

    Corporatism hasn't been researched yet though.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)01:17 No.14965611

    Hey, maybe we can ask the Shadow dude which of the other shadows piss him off the most.

    Maybe we can work with him to getting ourselves out of this mess while simultaneously ridding him of his biggest rival.

    I mean, they gotta have rivals; they're all lawyers. Lawyers do this kind of thing, right?

    Alternatively, we can ask him how to turn into a Shadow, so we can eat the other Shadows.

    Combine this with
    And let her loose on one of the Drow. I don't think she'd mind some girl on girl action.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)01:17 No.14965614
    corruption of the innocent huh?

    lets show her how how ''innocent''' we are..
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)01:18 No.14965621
    I vote for keeping the succubus.
    No way. She'd enjoy that. Set an incubus on her.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)01:20 No.14965638
    Would be interesting have a succubus in the harem.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)01:25 No.14965672
    Succubus shall be a mistress. Our soul is already damned. Might as well have fun meanwhile.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)01:26 No.14965682
    rolled 5073 = 5073

    I just don't see the point in draining her powers; she is far weaker than us. It's like she got some levels in NPC "hooker" and took a dip in "call girl" while we are full of Dark Overlord overpowered levels with extra magic granted from eating a Dragon. I don't think she has much to offer in terms of power and would be infinitely more useful as a henchwoman with some power of her own.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)01:27 No.14965692
    Why drain her power? Just keep her in the harem.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)01:31 No.14965730

    Okay, okay, no draining her powers then.

    We still asking her about making crazy pheromone/aphrodesiac for the lulz?

    I mean, we CAN'T be all work and no play, all day, everyday. We need to kick back every once in a while.

    And if by kick back, I mean "inducing a massive orgy during a state ball by lacing the pie with super aphrodesiac," then why not?

    Would be fun either way, and we may actually get something out of it. Aside from potentially getting some important female noble preggers.
    >> Novice's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/18/11(Wed)01:58 No.14965998
    Watching the sun cast a shadow over the tower courtyard, an idea begins to form in your mind. What if you used the same thing that made you ill to cure yourself? But how? The subject of your little plan would need to be a Shadow, of course. But to drain your Lawyer would be folly. Perhaps his rival then? Yes, that would work. Feeling your heart slow as you consider the possibility of not dying, you hang your head and grin. Turning back to the Succubus that helped you to think of such an idea, you inform her that you have decided to reward her for her service. The Succubus grins and rises to her feet, pressing against the circle barrier slightly.

    "I knew you'd come around. So, we gonna do it here?"

    Scoffing at her, you inform her that you aren't going to reward her in that way. She frowns again, as you explain. A day for herself, to do as she will. Without a nosy mage watching over her shoulder. The Succubus laughs at this, thinking you joking, but as you rub away the runes on the outside of the circle, she eyes you warily. Finally scrubbing out the third barrier rune, you sit back in your chair as she tests the circle. Her hand stretching forward, out into the laboratory, she smiles and jumps out of the circle, her wings expanding to their full length. Laughing with glee, the Outsider continues to smile widely as her body shifts into that of a tanned human female. Wearing a bright red dress, the Succubus examines the lab with some hesitation, and moves for the door. Informing her of the existence of several Drow on the premises, the Succubus turns and grabs a whip from the wall before running out into the tower proper.
    >> Novice's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/18/11(Wed)01:59 No.14966002
    With that over, you clear your head and get to work. Once again calling forth the powers of magic, you feel your way out into the world around you, and call forth to the Shadow realm. Time slows to a halt, the flames of the candles ceasing their red flickering and turning grey and cold. The Shadows on the walls shift and turn, warping themselves into a humanoid shape, with a bright red splotch in the center. The figure pulling itself from the wall, it solidifies, becoming sharply visible and far easier to look at. The figure adjusts its tie and grins.


    Requesting a consultation, the figure nods and you begin to ask your questions. Asking how you might call forth a specific Shadow, the figure pulls a blank piece of paper from its pants. Producing a pen from its jacket pocket, it begins to write on the paper.


    Looking around the room, as if bored, you tell him to fill in the name of his biggest rival. The Shadow keeps writing for a moment, and hands the piece of paper to you. It's in a language you cannot comprehend, but the writing seems to fall through the paper and out the other side. Thanking the Shadow, you dismiss it, the figure brushing itself off and merging back into the wall as the room returns to normal.

    Placing the scrap of paper in your pocket, you replace it in your hand with the witch's orb. Activating it with a thought, you call out to her and ask for an update on the Drow. The witch replies slowly, informing you of the Drow having been escorted to their individual rooms a few hours prior. Thanking her, you break the connection and watch the candles slowly burn before you.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)02:02 No.14966025
    >Tell Succubus about Drow being in the tower
    >It grabs a whip off the wall and runs off

    Oh yeah, GREAT IDEA GUYS.

    No way this could possibly go wrong. No way.

    It's almost like watching a car crash, but evil, and in slow motion.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)02:04 No.14966046
    When do we bind the succubus into the harem?
    I mean, what evil overlord DOESN'T have at least ONE demon whore? We'll be the laughing stock of evil.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)02:08 No.14966087
    rolled 1922 = 1922

    Thankfully; between the Drows overdone Sexuality, our little pact with the Matriarch, the many guards we have as well as the instareport orbs this shouldn't get out of hand. Start playing voyeur, use the orbs intermittently, but first CHECK FOR THE ASSASSIN, I think she might be in our study and I don't want her to find our about the PALantirs.. If the sucubbus goes for the drow bitch, order her to feel strong sexual attractyion towards her, fap vigorously. Oh, and tell Mommy Drow to transfer ALL HER SPELLBOOKS to us, that Time Stop spell was the shit.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)02:09 No.14966092

    We're evil. And a wizard. We have no conscience. So who cares if she gets to secksin' the Drow?

    Then again, I was unaware that we had a whip to begin with.

    Why would we need to bind her? I mean binding is if they resist. Why would she? Or rather, HOW would she?

    In any case, she has a day of freedom - no more, and no less.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)02:12 No.14966131
    rolled 3631 = 3631

    Sorry for the grammer mistakes, tired, gotta hit the sack. Nice quest but the little spiders were sorely missed. Also we should secretly check on our not-Japanese servants.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)02:18 No.14966194
    I mean on a more permanent basis.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)02:25 No.14966245
    We need to go and ask the Orc and assassin about the Dragon. We need to drain its magic.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)02:28 No.14966270
    rolled 4962 = 4962

    Shit, on my way to bed it ocurred to me that some herderp anon is going to suggest summoning the demon now to absorb his powers, and will try to hunt him down with the full party; Lliara, the Assassin, the Yojimbo and the Drow couple. I advise against this since the demon may have a magick that dispels shadow contracts and may end up turning half the party against us. Please consider this. Bye now.
    >Still spelling magic with a k like a hipster faggot.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)02:28 No.14966273
    Investigate what draining the shadow would do exactly, dragons made us stronger, would Shadows do something different?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)02:30 No.14966289

    Not sure, but I'm still pushing for that magic academy. Why risk our hide when we can have STUDENTS experiment for us?

    Risky? Sure, but then again, so is SCIENCE!

    Or rather, MAGIC!
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)02:36 No.14966348
    No reason not to, really.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)02:37 No.14966355
    This archived yet?
    >> Novice's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/18/11(Wed)02:42 No.14966403
    As much as it pains me, sire, I must end this thread now. While I would love to stay and continue, I must depart.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/11(Wed)02:47 No.14966454

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