Posting mode: Reply
Password(Password used for file deletion)
  • Supported file types are: GIF, JPG, PNG
  • Maximum file size allowed is 3072 KB.
  • Images greater than 250x250 pixels will be thumbnailed.
  • Read the rules and FAQ before posting.
  • ????????? - ??

  • File : 1305337236.jpg-(60 KB, 500x375, 2599969114_84c1b92acb.jpg)
    60 KB Dark Overlord Quest Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/13/11(Fri)21:40 No.14918470  
    Long ago, in a land of ancient secrets and powerful magic, there was a mortal man. This man, this singular will, would become the Dark One, the greatest evil of all time. His rise to power, and his glorious victories over the pathetic forces of GOOD, have become mythical in their own right. His name, uttered as a terrible and horrifying curse, is used only by the most cruel and sadistic of mortals. Those who somehow managed to live through his reign of terror fear his return above all else, for he alone do they consider "Sort of evil. Like a dire badger."

    Like. A. Dire. Badger. Those ignorant bastards!

    I'm sorry, oh Dark One, but that is really unacceptable. How dare those fool insult you? You, the lord of all evil!? Oh, they shall pay for this insult. They shall pay.

    Now, it has been... wait a tick. Where is it? What's happening here?

    I'm so sorry, sire, but it appears that the records from the time after your meeting with lord Blackmoor up until the completion of your tower have gone missing. How odd. I will look into it, but for now, let us continue from that point. I believe I have a general idea of what went on during the lost time, so I shall tell you what I know.

    At some point during that period, you provided lord Blackmoor with the spider silk he had wanted, and he, so pleased with your services, ordered several more suits of the material for his small army. While this may have had the effect of providing you with plenty of wealth, it also brought on some... unwanted attention. Indeed, while the entire village (now named Mooncrown by Blackmoor, after the mayor) profited from his investment, it brought that oldest of diseases to Mooncrown.

    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/13/11(Fri)21:43 No.14918509
    These adventurers, small groups of thieves, low-grade mages, and unskilled swordsmen, have been using Mooncrown as a base of operations for the past two months. What's worse, along with the adventurers came merchants, artisans, and other rabble. Along with OTHER RACES, if you can believe it. Damned elves and their stupid gracefulness. Bah! Oh I long for the old days of barbarism and- oh, I'm drifting off topic.

    Mooncrown's population, once a measly 600 strong, has quadrupled in the past two months, as people fleeing the war have moved to this small corner of Ferdnia. This only made it harder to keep the construction of your tower a secret, but, with the dozens of new spiders you have created with the now-city's taxes, you have managed to complete it ahead of schedule. Almost, at any rate. They're still working on the 'zombie mind control' aspect of your tower, but apart from that it's a marvel of evil engineering.

    From your tower, hidden within the Dark Mountain (Named for its dark coloring, a stark contrast against the grey mountains around it), you have watched as Mooncrown slowly grew, buildings cropping up like weeds. While the mayor, under your orders, has resisted providing status for mage guilds, and other institutions, they may soon attempt to find legal means of subverting her authority.

    Apart from all this terrible news, there is some good news. Many noblemen, apparently jealous of Blackmoor's far more extravagant clothing, have commissioned their own. To that end, you have put several of your spiders on permanent fabric duty, as they weave evil and darkness into stylish suits and dresses. All, of course, with a small spider weaved into them, capable of delivering poison at any time. You are so clever in that regard, Dark One.

    It is currently morning. Looking out the tower window, through the crack in the mountain, you can see the town. Expanding, ever so slowly. And all under your control, for the moment.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/13/11(Fri)21:44 No.14918519
    >Previous Threads, for your consideration:
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)21:48 No.14918538
    I don't see why we didn't just feed the Lord the pie and made the shadow contract. Would have been much more easier not to forget EVIL
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)21:48 No.14918540
    Shit, adventurers?

    God dammit, what happened to those records OP?

    Curse our bad choice in henchmen...
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)21:49 No.14918543

    Adventurers are a pox, but even a pox can be turned to useful ends. Let's see what we can do with them.

    Merchants exist wherever there's a profit to be made, and are as inseparable from an economy as the crabs from a whore's bush. You need to hack the whole thing down to the bare essentials to get rid of them, and we're not ready for that.

    Elves. Ugh. Well, ponces that they are, we can use them the same as anyone else.
    >> Taffer 05/13/11(Fri)21:49 No.14918544

    Ok. ok. We can deal with this. Are our spidermen (We really should give them a better name. Driders? Venombacks?) up? If they are, send some adventurers that will not be missed, the newbies at least to test them or use the adventurers to make more spidermen.

    Well, that or you could give the adventurers the quest to get back Frank the Red, now Dead, some Redemption by getting his books back.

    PS. After they do that, toss 'em into the zombie pit.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)21:49 No.14918547
    Time to set up a dungeon gents? Pack it with the human/spider horrors and offer rewards for some trinket that you hide way down at the back of it perhaps? This would not only get rid of some of the adventurers, while alerting us to the stronger ones; it would also give our manspiders some much needed combat experience.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)21:51 No.14918558
    Why don`t we make a non-spider dungeon (we are already known for spiders) and use it to collect some prime specimens for new monstrosities.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)21:51 No.14918560
    Problem Loading Page: The connection was reset

    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)21:51 No.14918562

    We want to keep the number of noblemen we directly subvert to a minimum, just a hand-picked few that we can use to help us complete the coup as bloodlessly as possible (bloodlessly for the masses that is, anyone who won't submit to us will be turned into something useful).
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)21:53 No.14918579

    Ah, we definitely are "that spider guy", good idea.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)21:55 No.14918589
    I do not see the presence of adventurers as a bad thing. We can use them, in oh so many ways.

    We will not be able to stay hidden forever. Or for much longer, if Mooncrown's supply of nosy assholes continues to increase. No, we should make ourselves known, before we are discovered at an inopportune moment.

    Right now, we are essentially in charge of the entire town and its economy, through the witch-mayor. We're also known to Lord Blackmoor as an awesome master of textiles who makes spider-silk armor for those who pay well. It would be a short step from there to owner of a grand corporation, with many subsidiary businesses.

    We must become a fixture of the town. A well-known, seemingly benevolent mogul who is friendly to all, and whose franchises sell equipment, information, and everything else at affordable prices. The more visible we are, the less suspicion there is.

    But what to do about the tower...
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)21:55 No.14918590

    Indeed. We need to go all Aperture Science on them.

    Set up an overly elaborate underground dungeon - just say it's a relic of our master's master some time ago. Then we fill it with traps, weapons, spiders, etc. And some maguffin - maybe a suit of armor woven from the spider silk that has a trap on it that would allow us to soul bind the person who wears it.

    Anyway, we fill it with traps, and use the adventurers to test all sorts of nefarious monsters, traps, and god-knows-what that we set up in there.

    After all, how will we know if our security system would work if all the test subjects get past them?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)22:00 No.14918613
    as far as soul binding goes we could set up a way for us to easily enter the dungeon at a later point while also making it very hard to leave. Using that we could just convince struggling but promising adventurers to sign a dark contract for their survival.
    >> Secondary Overseer !H9RPpIGJhg 05/13/11(Fri)22:03 No.14918632
    how about a departure from spiders.

    I like centipedes too. and minotaurs.

    and maybe the mcguffin could be something that appears useful but would be of no help getting out of the dungeon. like a runestaff of conjuration that only makes food and chickens and shit like that. WHAZAM FLUFFY PILLOWS FOR ALL!

    i'd laugh at that
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)22:04 No.14918637
    rolled 8 = 8

    holy shit, that's brilliant
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)22:04 No.14918645
    What if we build a bunch of dungeons with various non-lethal traps, puzzles, and guards, and charge for entrance?

    We could make a show out of it. Each dungeon connected to the others, with steadily increasing difficulty and a massive prize at the end. Several parties scrape together the gold deposit needed to enter, and pit themselves against each other for the heap of treasure at the end. There can be only one, you know. No compromise; only one group can claim the treasure.

    We can use magical relays, like with the spiders, as cameras to monitor progress. We can also roof the dungeons with thick glass, which appears to be stone from below but is perfectly see-through from above. This way, an arena can be constructed around and over the dungeons where spectators can watch the battles within. Gigantic pools of scrying water, help upright like the Jumbotron, will play focus shots, instant replays, and ads for our many businesses.

    Spiders will take tickets. Spiders will serve refreshments. Fat and Ugly can be announcers. It's perfect!

    With a modular configuration for each dungeon, no game would be the same. Alterations to their structure could even be made during the game. Each treasure would be different as well, and in a different place. The most obvious treasure would usually be fake, and filled with spiders.

    Anyone down with this?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)22:09 No.14918661
    Yeah, but there's not much inherently EVIL about that. I might use that idea as a GM sometime, but It doesn't reek of EVIL like we need.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)22:09 No.14918662
    Fuck. Yes.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)22:10 No.14918667
    rolled 76 = 76

    ...nice, nothing says evil overlord like bloodsports, and then you can offer the winners employment opportunities, and we can even have a tournament of champions, where we gather the past winners in a "Hunger Games" like tournament
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)22:10 No.14918668
    It keeps the masses busy with cheap entertainment, so they don't realize that we've taken all power out of their hands when they weren't looking.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)22:15 No.14918694
    We don't want anything overtly evil. This is for public consumption, to keep their minds and eyes away from our real plans.

    Besides, every month or so, a trap will malfunction, or an adventurer will have an unexpected allergy to a weak poison, and we'll get a new patient for our experiments. To say nothing of the adventurers who will ferociously murder one another to keep the treasure away from them.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/13/11(Fri)22:21 No.14918719
    Your spidermen are indeed ready, evil one. They have been awake for the past three weeks, and during that time have undergone intense training. While they were programed by the procedure to be completely loyal to you, the extra mental conditioning you covered that with has furthering increased their resolve. They have also progressed greatly in their training by your pet assassin, becoming adept in the art of ambush and infiltration. This has made them slightly paranoid, however, and they have taken to camping out just below your bedchambers, believing that your life may be in danger at any moment.

    Your metal spiders have taken to hiding in the tower library since its completion. In fact, just a day ago, you came across a bizarre scene. One of your larger spiders, which was set for librarian duty, had an open book before it, and, looking at the pages, made clicking sounds not unlike speech at a group of smaller spiders gathered in front of it. You payed it no mind at first, but you still feel that somehow the larger spider was teaching the smaller ones.

    Well, let's see here.

    Oh, it appears that you began construction on the stadium four weeks ago! Glorious! There are still many weeks to go before it's completed, but with your spiders digging the modular labyrinth of your own design, it will be a testament to your evil will.

    In addition, you have created a smaller, private dungeon within the Dark Mountain itself, within which your spidermen have been training. They have memorized the layout, as has your assassin, so with the addition of an entrance separate from your tower, it would be an excellent source of experimental data.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/13/11(Fri)22:24 No.14918739
    Now, as per the norm, you have eaten breakfast, and received your morning report from the witch. Fat and Ugly, now the heads of the town guard, have also updated you on the construction of the town wall, which, when completed in eight weeks, will protect the town from hostile forces such as invading armies.

    There is a problem that needs you attention as well. The witch has informed you that your newly expanded gold mines have been robbed in the night. More than double her weight in gold was stolen while the mine was closed down, right out from under the noses of a full group of town guards. The idiots didn't even realize someone had unlocked the mine entrance until morning.

    The witch has ordered a full investigation, and it has turned up evidence of magical tampering. Probably from a member of one of the guilds that have been trying to form in the city for the past month.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)22:26 No.14918757
    I think it's time to find out what the hell the spiders think they're doing. Clearly they are advancing in intelligence. This could be good or bad, depending on where their loyalties lie.

    Can we ensure that we have absolute command over them? If not, we need to address this, and soon.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)22:28 No.14918765

    If we've been keeping up on our intelligence work, then we know the names and likely domiciles of the local guild heads. Let's collect hair samples from each of them and make spy orbs.

    We can then have the mayor summon them to ask their advice on how to pursue the matter, and keep an eye on their minds when they are posed the question. The culpable parties should reveal themselves mentally at that point with no further special effort on our part.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)22:28 No.14918766
    SEE!? SEE!?

    You let adventurers into your town and BLAMO! Thieves rob your gold mine.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)22:29 No.14918780

    Scutters, the lot of them. They're loyal and hard workers, let them teach each other.

    We should make an effort to learn their internal language though.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)22:30 No.14918787
    Make it clear that the thief or thieves are to be given harsh penalties when found. The public should understand that Mooncrown is under the rule of law, and it is fair as well as just. The perpetrators will have to pay back more than what they stole, and will be subjected to a prison term, of course.

    During this prison term they will be put under a soul-contract, just like the witch. But tell no-one this.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)22:34 No.14918809
    It was bound to happen sooner or later. But this is a good thing.

    Now we have access to talent. As we increase our security, it will take more ingenuity, skill, and power to breach our systems. Those who continue to succeed are the best of the best, and we can use them against our enemies as they have been used against us.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)22:47 No.14918871
    Freaking /tg/ loading so slow.

    Magic you say? We must find this not-us-or-the-witch mage and kill him or her.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)22:52 No.14918892
    Kill? Why?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)22:54 No.14918902
    Perhaps we could get the town scared shitless of magic users? Maybe next time the Mages guild comes around, some sort of arcane horror is summoned? We could explain to the townsfolk that the mere presence of so many magic users ripped a rift between the worlds, and if bad stuff happened in the future, we could blame said fake rift. The townsfolk would no longer accept the presence of magic users, and the problem of the guilds would be taken care of by the townsfolk.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)22:59 No.14918932
    rolled 86 = 86

    ...and when they find out we're a magic user dumb ass?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)23:04 No.14918963

    Yeah why kill when we can subvert to our own ends?

    On that note, who is still in the witch's dungeon? I'm sure she had more people besides the assassin in there.

    Also, we should totally make another dinner date with Shaiara. Go all out this time, present her with a gift that will remind her of her home (we know roughly where she is from right?). It shouldn't be hard to do a little research on what delicacies or flowers are from that region and get some for her. What's cooler than an evil mage having an assassin consort and a witch-thrall?
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/13/11(Fri)23:05 No.14918968
    Well, the board seems to be back to normal. Now that I can see your posts, Dark One, I may respond.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)23:19 No.14919038

    >>mere presence of so many magic users
    >>presence of so many magic users
    >>so many magic users
    >>so many

    As in >1.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)23:23 No.14919054
    rolled 78 = 78

    >no longer accept the presence of magic users
    like us and the mayor.

    if mages make rifts, no mages allowed.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/13/11(Fri)23:23 No.14919055
    Checking the report the witch hands to you, you flip through it quickly, getting a general idea of how the crime was committed. Your immense intellect lending itself to the problem, you come to believe that whomever robbed the gold mine was in command of some perception-altering magic. Illusions of some kind, to fool the guards into thinking nothing was wrong. You have experience with such Arcane magic, and believe yourself more than able to match whomever formed the illusions in the field of mysticism. But who could it be?

    Questioning Fat, Ugly, and Lliara, you command that the heads of what guilds deal in magic be brought to the witch's mansion. Thinking to have them be told that it concerns their guild's status as legal organizations, in an attempt to make them more willing to comply, you continue to review the report as the the three leave to perform their duties.

    Placing the report on the arm of your throne, you turn only to see something out of the corner of your eye. Peering down the long hall of your throne room, you spot someone looking around a pillar. Shouting out at them to stay where they are, you leap from your throne as they turn and flee down the hall. Giving chase, you call forth your spiders, and they arrive within moments. Pouncing upon the intruder, a single spider pulls the elf to the ground, but somehow the elf breaks free. Looking back at you, it turns and leaps from your tower window, the glint of gold flashing back at you as it exits. Looking down the side of the tower, you see the elf on what appears to be a long piece of rope, sliding towards the mountain. It lands upon the mountainside and keeps running.

    Firing a bolt of lightning at it, you turn back to your throne room. One of your golden vases is missing.

    Oh those damned elves.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)23:27 No.14919073
    rolled 65 = 65

    tell me the spiders got the little elf-shits hair.

    and call the spidermen, we're going on an elf hunt.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)23:29 No.14919081
    Send our best spiders after it. If it just happens to be wearing spider-cloth armor, activate the kill-switch and paralyze it. If not, dammit.

    Increase security. We must have detection spells, so we should use them. Increase guard presence as well, using spiders as well as humans.

    We need to develop flying creatures or machines so that we can take advantage of aerial surveillance, among other things.

    Ask if anyone present recognizes the elf.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)23:32 No.14919098

    Well this is unacceptable. Time to lay a trap for the elves. We got a good look at the elf, right? Let's stage a murder, preferably of the assistant to the most powerful magic using guild leader, with one of our hybrids playing the part of murderer but glamored to look like the thief we just saw. With an unmistakable description of the "murderer" the elves will either have to turn their thief in or risk us whipping the entire human population of the town into an anti-elf lynching frenzy.

    This is what I call a win-win. We weaken two enemies no matter what.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)23:35 No.14919105

    Those fucking Elves. This isn't even regular elf level of annoyance. This is like, dwarf-elf shit right there. Combining elf super-bullshit with dwarven love of gold.
    I say we fight back by combining our spider-men with a crow or something. Three things in one is better than two.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)23:47 No.14919147
    Ok. What about archive this before we forget?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)23:55 No.14919169
    It doesn't even have to be the elf we saw. Just stage a major crime by disguising our spidermen as elves. The townspeople will demonize all elves, and the entire minority will credibility. And if they become lower-class citizens here, we can abuse that and take advantage of them. No more unhealthy hobo test subjects!
    >> Taffer 05/13/11(Fri)23:56 No.14919177
    Did we see the elf's face? Can we describe it? If we can then we should tell our noble friends about it and say "Due to the need for an increased and more secure security system, the textile factory will be closed for a month." This should light a fire under their asses to catch the theif and bring it to our 'justice,'
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)23:57 No.14919183

    It's a good idea, so I went ahead and did it: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/14918470
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/13/11(Fri)23:58 No.14919186
    How dare that elf, sire! How dare it rob you, the Dark One, and in broad daylight too! Fuming with anger, you yell for the guards, and pick up the spider that grabbed the elf. It clicks and you feel it push an image against your mind. Letting it in, you see the elf's face clear as day, and put the spider on the floor. Sending it off to make a portrait of the elf with ink and paper, you wait impatiently as your human guards finally arrive in a huff. Pointing against the wall where the vase once sat, its space among the five others now empty, you glare at them and wait for them to figure it out. With a cry of 'oh, shit', one of them sighs. Yelling at the guards for their incompetence, you send them off, and turn to face your spidermen, who fall from the ceiling with nary a sound. Covered from head to toe in black spider silk, they look like some manner of mummy. As your spider runs towards you carrying a piece of paper, you grab it and hold it before them. The elf's arrogant face displayed on the scrap of parchment, you order your spidermen to bring it to you.

    As they leap from the window, and run down the elf's rope, you frown and look around the tower. Its security is in dire need of an update.

    Collecting the materials needed, your hands move through the motions, as you begin to ward to tower against intruders. The mystical runes and diagrams appearing in mid air, they stretch and twist, covering every surface. Your guardian spider nearby, you bond the wards to its mind, and complete the spells. It seems to freeze for but a moment, and then raises itself higher off the ground. Poking against the ground, it appears to feel the movement of its own claw on the stone. Its talons clicking against the floor, it leaves to search for more intruders.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/13/11(Fri)23:59 No.14919193
    The next several hours are boring, you sitting on your throne, and your spiders checking every corner of the tower. Nothing much seems to be happening. Then, Fat comes running up, followed by Ugly. They hand you a letter from the mayor, explaining the deaths of several guild heads in the past 24 hours. They were apparently found in a field together, with claw marks over their necks. One of them showed signs of being crushed to death, as well as burning. The field around them was burnt as well.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)00:00 No.14919194
    rolled 37 = 37

    call for the assassin. we may have need of her enhanced interrogation techniques.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)00:07 No.14919218
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)00:09 No.14919225
    rolled 94 = 94

    fuck, our fire-spiders turned rogue!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)00:12 No.14919240
    perhaps, they haven't gone rogue. maybe they sensed that we didn't like them, and they were a little overzealous in removing perceived problems?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)00:13 No.14919244
    Damn, there goes our hope of interrogating the guild heads.

    Although, with them dead, this is the perfect time for us to put guild heads under our control in power.
    >> Taffer 05/14/11(Sat)00:14 No.14919249
    Did they? Perhaps there was a conspiracy against us? Perhaps all the guild leaders were in on it? Perhaps they hired the damned elf?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)00:17 No.14919273
    I think we need to leverage this into establishing a spider-robot enforced police state to lock down our borders.

    Perhaps our Witch Mayor could announce new security measures to protect our citizens from the elvish raiders who tortured and murdered the guild leaders.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)00:18 No.14919281
    Whatever happened, we need to know. Let's collect our assassin and some spiders, and go examine the site, and then go examine the bodies (I'm guessing the town guard has collected them already).
    >> anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)00:19 No.14919287

    Recent events have me worried.

    Perhaps we should hold back our advances - the appearance of the elves has me thinking another hand may be at play here.

    If only there were some way to find out more about their activities of late...
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)00:20 No.14919295

    Summon our spiders capable of fire attacks. Or are any of them capable?

    Either way, it may be a good idea to get our oldest and largest spider here with us. Probe it's head a bit to see if it was related to the incident. Chances are, it being the oldest, if our spiders were responsible, it had a hand in the murders.

    Also, we need to question our assassin and witch. Have them investigate the scene, then report back to us on what they've found and their thoughts on it.

    And hey, if it's a dragon, then we now have a use for those adventurers aside from using them in experiments/bloodsports.

    We can also blame it on the Elves. Just make up some bullshit about them; cast some illusion spells to make them "transform" in the middle of a crowd when some guards start giving them shit, make them look blatantly evil and obviously the perpetrators of the attack.

    We should also kidnap a few elves. Just for experiments.
    >> anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)00:21 No.14919307

    You aren't worried they might be spies of some sort or other?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)00:21 No.14919308
    Welp, call in our spiders and its time to exert some Authority as the disappointed paternal autocrat, we made them and they do THIS FOR US?

    I guess we could cook up a biological horror to take the fall, but I think we could probably fob it off on the elves as long as our spiders stay under the radar to the same level they have so far.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)00:21 No.14919311
    Institute a new policy regarding mages.

    All mages must register to be tracked with the city watch as long as they are within the city or its territories.

    This is for their own protection of course...
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)00:23 No.14919325

    >Welp, call in our spiders and its time to exert some Authority as the disappointed paternal autocrat, we made them and they do THIS FOR US?

    We don't know that they did it, though. We need to examine the scene of the crime, and then examine our spiders and hybrids.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)00:42 No.14919507
    Guys, maybe if the spiders are rogue, why not give them working hours? you know, half take 12 hours, other half take the next 12 and once every month they ALL get the day off. It will hurt our production but its better than a 100 strong mini spider revolution.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)00:47 No.14919561

    Hmmm... and perhaps, on their off time, we educate them, and remind them that they are our first creation, and the one that we trust and are proud of the most of all who serve us?

    Much easier to control them if we alter our relationship a bit more, to say, a creator and his many children?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)00:48 No.14919569
    I like this idea.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/14/11(Sat)00:50 No.14919587
    As Fat and Ugly give their report, you sit back in your chair and think. Glaring at one of your spiders, you start forming an evil plan within your dark mind. Taking your time, you explain the plan to Fat and Ugly, who being slightly more intelligence than most of the common folk, with only some difficulty grasp its intricacies. They are to bring your orders to the mayor, which you carefully write down on several pieces of parchment, and to have their guards assist in the institution of the new anti-criminal laws. Mandatory magic-user registration, obstinately for their own protection after it became clear that someone was targeting magic-users to murder. In addition, the spiders will be put into place as a supplement to the guard forces, to watch for potential criminals amid the citizens of Mooncraft. In addition, it is to be announced that an elvish gang has robbed the gold mine, and that any citizen with information should step forward. A reward is to be offered for any information that leads to their capture.

    As Fat and Ugly leave to fulfill your orders, you have your guardian spider come to the throne room. As it arrives, you begin to question it on the attacks on the guild heads recently. It, the oldest and largest of your spiders, the one who first made you a sandwich, claims to have no knowledge of the events. You question it further, but it still denies it. Dismissing the guardian spider, you send it to fetch the assassin, with a note explaining you are in need of her services as an interrogator.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/14/11(Sat)00:50 No.14919595
    Waiting another hour, you soon find yourself facing the assassin, wearing her silk bodyglove underneath her ordinary clothing. Smiling, you greet her warmly, and go to explain why you called her here when your spidermen return. Throwing the elf thief to the floor, it skids down the smooth stone hall and rolls to you feet. Trying to run, your assassin gives it a swift kick to the back of its knees, and down it falls. Pulling the elf to its feet, the assassin puts a knife to its back.
    "Ah, so you're the one who I'm supposed to interrogate, hmm?"
    Struggling against her grasp, the elf shouts out to you in a feminine voice. They all sound kind of alike though, so who really knows.
    "Ok, look, I'm really really sorry I took that vase, I swear. But my boss-"
    The assassin begins to dig the knife deeper into the elf's back.
    "-my boss said he'd kill me if I didn't bring him the same amount of gold I lost."
    The assassin slowly moves the knife up the elf's back.
    "What do you mean, lost?"
    "I mean, I lost it, ok? I was supposed to bring it back with this mage, but he ran off with half the gold when I wasn't looking."
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)00:55 No.14919639
    We need to know everything.

    Is there someone disposable around to provide a soul for contracts? Perhaps a child or another useless elf?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)00:58 No.14919679

    No need, we can make a mindreading orb for this elf and just pick the lies out from the truth as we let Shaiara work.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:03 No.14919732
    Ask the assassin to divulge his secrets. Every. Last. One. Im sure she would find the task enjoyable.

    In the meantime, have one of the spidermen stealthily look for a source to the fire, be it magical or otherwise.

    While we wait, have all spiders not already busy doing something, gather so that we may teach out 'children' They seem to be growing in intelligence, and it would be better if we directed that towards loyalty from the start.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:12 No.14919863

    Seconding these.

    All good, although I think we should hold off on making the orb for now. We need to cement our evil nature - why not simply sit and watch as Shaiara does her work? Keep the whole gentleman demeanor up as she does it, and while we "gently" ask her (it?) some questions.

    Also, I vote for stripping the elf. Part humiliation, part figuring out just what the fuck it is.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:13 No.14919873

    "Before we go any further in this interrogation, I'd rather not face unexpected surprises. Let's cut him? I think it's a him? Anyway, cut him out of those clothes. Remove any weapons or escape items hidden on his person, and shave his head. We can't have anything concealed there either."

    Then collect the hair and use some to make the mind reading orb.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:13 No.14919881
    rolled 49 = 49

    bu what if it's a dude? then we have to stare at elf junk. tortured elf junk.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:14 No.14919895

    So what? It's just a penis. Are you afraid of dicks?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:15 No.14919909
    Divine magic can alter biology. Don't like staring at junk? No problem.

    Anyway, a mindless servant has no need to reproduce.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:16 No.14919920
    Or we could just have him castrated for his effort.

    Stop being homophobic, we are evil masterminds.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:17 No.14919935

    If we're going to do that, we should get really creative and transplant his dick from his groin to his nose, so he has to smell his junk for the rest of his life.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:18 No.14919951
    But that's stupid. It's barely even evil.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:19 No.14919960

    Or we can use him (if it is one) to create some kind of terrible elf hybrid thing.

    Not sure what we'd do with them thought.

    Good idea though, albeit a bit juvenile.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:20 No.14919974
    rolled 77 = 77

    but what if Fat and Ugly came running back with important news, and they just see us, amused grin on our faces, staring at this elfs junk.

    then instead of xenophobia, we will only instill xenophilia!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:21 No.14919987

    Are you gonna tell me that we can't lock a door and make them knock?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:21 No.14919990
    we could just leave it to the assassin.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:24 No.14920011
    rolled 59 = 59

    then we're locked in our throne room with a screaming naked elf man!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:24 No.14920015

    In any case, humiliation, torture, and interrogation are in order.

    Do we have an electro-spider on hand? You know, one that can act as a substitute tazer? Would be fun to shock the elf's junk a bit. If it's a dude.

    Oh, but if it's a dude, we can totally brainwash him and use him as a diplomat. And convince him he's a woman. So we use him to seduce other lords, then use the fact that the lord slept with a male elf to blackmail them.

    This, of course, assumes the elf is a male.

    >inb4 elf slave/raep wat do
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:25 No.14920026

    What's wrong with that? That's the point.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:25 No.14920030
    rolled 2725 = 2725

    And make our own Evil Survival TV! I love it!
    >Big Monsters, big prizes, I love it!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:26 No.14920043
    *sigh* I knew this was going to go down hill as soon as we caught an elf prisoner...
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:27 No.14920058
    Seconding this
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:27 No.14920062
    We're a mage. If we want him to shut up, we have the power to make that happen. We can also melt him into a pile of goo or turn him into a sofa. It's all good.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:28 No.14920068

    We're above all that, this is purely being horrible and evil for the sake of getting information.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:28 No.14920077
    Remove both of the elf's hands
    No deed will go unpunished, and his theft of your own property is deserving of his offending limbs removed.

    Chain him to a cell in the dungeon, and let him sit there for the rest of his miserable days. Occasionally I will hold conversation with him if only to laugh at the pitiful display that dared oppose me.

    After we have what we need, of course.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:29 No.14920089
    >Elf girl, what do?

    Why is this the way so many new quests have to die or turn to shit?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:31 No.14920103
    We can probably use the elf as an infiltrator. No need to waste yet another asset by maiming it or killing it unnecessarily. Plus, if it's a girl, that's another for the harem.

    Since that's apparently how this works.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:34 No.14920130

    Even if it's not a girl, it's not gay if it is with an elf.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:36 No.14920151
    yes, yes it is.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:37 No.14920164
    Regardless, the elf's sex is not important. We are an equal opportunity evil. We can and will use anyone and anything to our benefit. As evidenced by our apparent benevolence.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/14/11(Sat)01:38 No.14920173
    Quite EVIL my lord, excellent.

    Speaking with very little passion, you do your best to seem gentlemanly and cool as the assassin listens. Grinning, she waves the spidermen out of the room, and they exit via the doors. The doors locked and shut, the assassin prepares the elf for the torture.

    Well, at least you know it's a male. Not that it's easy to tell. No wonder there are so many half-elves, those elvish women must be desperate.

    After several hours of some very loud screaming and begging, yourself calmly watching objectively, and the assassin getting far too into the torture, the elf finally snaps. Collapsing into a mess of muttering and shaking, he tells you everything he knows. It appears that he was contacted by a member of a mage's guild, who had claimed that he wanted to gold to ransom the mayor into legalizing the guild. He had been frustrated with the lack of progress on that front, and had taken to crime in an attempt to force the mayor into signing the deed. But upon pressing the elf further, it seems that he believes someone else was pulling the now dead guild head's strings.

    The mage he worked with had hypnotized the guards quite cleverly, and the pair had used a stolen mine key to make off with the gold. But part-way to the intended drop-off point, the mage absconded with half the gold, thus leaving the elf to foot the bill, or forfeit his head. For some reason, he demanded that vase in particular. The vase he had left at the drop-off point some time ago.

    Satisfied with the elf's answers, you have the assassin escort him to the dungeon. Dragging him past the spidermen, they enter, and you order them to search the surrounding area for fires, as well as the vase. Complying without question, they leave immediately.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:41 No.14920212
    Ask the assassin if the elf would seem an appropriate candidate for "advancement" as one of our subordinates. After all, he is both stealthy and capable of some manner of acrobatics.

    If not, we can always use more spidermen.
    >> anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:43 No.14920232

    I knew it, spies.

    Fucking elves, when will they learn not to meddle in affairs that do not concern them?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:43 No.14920235
    Why arnt we making a work sqedule so our little spidie friends get the proper R&R and organize study groups for them learnng.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:44 No.14920242

    Time to educate our many-legged children?


    Also, we must inform Lliara of this development. Via the mind-orb. Just so both of us can get used to communicating with it.

    We also should try to develop some kind of anti-hypnotism/charming amulet or ward we can work into the guard's uniforms. With some weakness that only we know of, so it won't hinder us in the future.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:47 No.14920271
    rolled 1728 = 1728

    Shit, if they sent him for that particular vase, they knew we would capture and question him! And if they do, they, know we would know they know!

    Also, DUNDUNDUN it seems the guild leaders were being manipulated by an external source, and said source had them killed when we wanted to contact them. I think we are looking at some high level scrying magic. Ward the shit out of our mansion, crate a codex for all our messages. Also, I think we may be facing a Dragon; This is why you don't let adventurers near your town, today it's greedy thieves and ambitious little-shit prestidigators so-called megas, tomorrow it's venerable Dragons and Pallys orders!
    >captcha elvest institute
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:48 No.14920279
    Now is the time to invite Shaiara to dinner, as per >>14918963

    She's got to be totally turned on, we can make her our consort with this if we play our cards right.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:49 No.14920284
    We need to put the mage guilds under our control. Perhaps not completely, at this point, but we need eyes and ears in them, right away.

    Maybe we should have the mayor streamline the legalization process, so we have a nice legal pretext for placing observers and inspectors within easy reach?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:49 No.14920295
    rolled 84 = 84

    I concur. we need to never ever make the assassin angry at us.

    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:51 No.14920308

    The vase may have had recording magic on it.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:53 No.14920323

    Me Thinks that its time to seriously revamp the guards.

    They need to be better equipped, better trained with a military mindset. Incorporate Battle Mages into the guard as well if we can find the bodies for it. Have the training designed to be brutal so that weakness is weeded out as well as indoctrination.

    They will be our Capable and Utterly loyal secret police that should even be equipped to put down a significantly decent sized rebellion should the need arise.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:54 No.14920333

    In which case, we need to investigate where that vase came from.

    As well as the remaining vases.

    We need Lliara in on this. Anything that threatens us threatens her by extension.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:54 No.14920341
    rolled 3615 = 3615

    Also, what's up with the Lliara's 560ยบ(WAY coller than a 180\ IMHO)? From tough muthafuggla bitch witch rollin' with bling to homely maiden waifu who-wouldn't-kill-a-fly? was the assassin's torture THAT GOOD!?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:55 No.14920344
    This, as well as checking on our waifu. See whats floating around in her mind.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:56 No.14920351
    It was our tender and loving response to the torture that changed her. She LOVES us now.

    Feels good.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:57 No.14920356
    rolled 80 = 80


    also, stop typing like hitting extra letters is so hard.
    it isn't
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:57 No.14920358
    >feels Stockholm syndrome

    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)02:03 No.14920422
    Still feels good
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/14/11(Sat)02:22 No.14920605
    A small spider climbs up your arm as you call the others into the room. All of them. Clicking and scurrying around, soon the entire room is filled with metal spiders of varying sizes. As they turn their attention to you, you begin to speak. Confessing your concerns regarding their increasing intelligence, you admit that you've had a change of heart. Where before, you would have had trouble accepting them, you've come to a realization. They, in turn, admit their own fears. They see you as their parent, and while they have developed in intellect, they still understand your position as their leader. They would have rather they told you, but they felt that you may have reacted poorly. They of course suspected you knew, but never dared to bring it up.

    Laughing, you do the part of the caring father admirably. First addressing their work schedule, they feel more than relieved at how well you deal with the situation. Dividing them into fair and balanced shifts, you officially give them permission to educate themselves. Not only that, but you recommend they do so. The spiders, seemingly overcome with some bizarre artificial emotions, rush towards you and latch onto you in a show of affection. Cheerfully leaving you to your work, a few stay behind to guard you, as they requested they be allowed to.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/14/11(Sat)02:22 No.14920612
    The assassin steps out from behind a pillar as they leave, clapping.
    "Well, that was quite a speech. Never thought you the fatherly type, but clearly I was wrong. I'm sure you'll make an excellent, uh, father."
    Smiling, you pet a spider and question her regarding the elf.
    "Oh, him? He won't be bothering you any more. I had a little talk with him on the way to the dungeon. He's very repentant. He has potential too. But I suppose that's all too obvious. Still, I wouldn't recommend offering him a job until he's had a good long time to think about how NOT to try and mess with you again."
    Nodding, you ask her if she would join you for dinner again tonight. Say, 7:00? Your place?
    "Oh, well, I was, um... yes, I'd like that very much. Yeah."
    Excellent. You'll see her there. The assassin smiles, and blushes as she takes her leave. Pulling the witch's orb from your robes, you contact her and relay the news. She doesn't respond for a moment, but soon you feel a thought push its way out of the orb. She asks if you've check the vases. You reply that you have not. She recommends you do, so rising to your feet, you approach the stone the vases are set on. Picking one up, you look at it suspiciously, and shake it. Something is inside.

    Turning it upside down, a small stone falls out. You recognize it as a recording stone, a cheap and easily hide device, capable of recording months worth of information. Any written, spoken, or sighed words within range find themselves recorded for later review. And this one is actively recording.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)02:27 No.14920651
    Track the stone's source, if possible. It must either be destroyed or deafened, so that it cannot do any more harm.

    Ask the witch what she knows about them, and how they got past our security.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)02:28 No.14920661
    .... Well Fuck.
    I think the first thing to do is activley destroy all of them.

    Secondly i point again at

    All this while managing a conversation between minds with the witch.

    Flirt moar,
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)02:29 No.14920667

    Maybe we could sabotage them to explode when accessed, and then allow normal retrieval.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)02:29 No.14920669
    Well that's not good... could it be the government, or is it a private organization looking into us? Either way, I think it's time for a large scale distraction, how many zombies do we have still? If we can beef them up somehow, and send them to decimate another village, the adventurers would hopefully follow, being all helpful and whatnot. The governments eyes would also be diverted, which would give us time to find out if it's them who's been looking into us.
    >> anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)02:31 No.14920685
    I think it was planted by the elves.

    The mages guild obviously gave them the technology to spy on us in such a way.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)02:32 No.14920691
    A good plan, but I'd prefer that they emit some sort of signal that allowed us to follow them "home." They could still detonate, but only if we triggered them. That would give us more options.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)02:39 No.14920749

    We should make the explosion REALLY big, so long as it's activated outside of the town, also I like the tracking idea.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)02:41 No.14920772
    This, but dont destroy it, instead follow
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)02:51 No.14920844
    rolled 2068 = 2068

    I'm all down with the "backtrace their signals and they DUN GOOF'D" plan, with possible detonation, but wouldn't it then be obvious we knew they were spying on us? Perhaps this calls for something a little more... subtle. We may be able to work this to our advantage.

    Could we reverse-engine the orbs and implant fake images on it? carefully erase all evil moments and instead put an image of us petting a spider or writing a poem? We may not be facing an enemy yet but rather an organization which wants to size us up, test our mettle.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)02:51 No.14920856
    Check the other vases, see if there are others in them.

    If there aren't, then it may mean that the Elf was incompetent and grabbed the wrong vase.

    In any case, we need to figure out how the information is accessed, how the stones work, and all that jazz. The fact that the Elf was asked to retrieve it implies that it can't be accessed remotely. Which may be a good thing. Either way, check if it's possible.

    We need to call for Fat and Ugly. Figure out where these vases came from, who shipped them, the route they traveled, who could have had access to them, everything.

    And finally who the hell ordered it - I mean, c'mon, a gold vase? Tacky, and unfitting of our aesthetic values. Simple geometric designs, dark colors contrasted by light grey hues, and spider motiffs are our thing.

    Not skulls though. Too obviously evil.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)02:52 No.14920866
    rolled 4170 = 4170

    >Check the other vases, see if there are others in them.

    >If there aren't, then it may mean that the Elf was incompetent and grabbed the wrong vase.

    ooooh this!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:03 No.14920960
    rolled 8703 = 8703

    THEN send the Elf, under our payroll of course, to meet whatever new guild master they sent. After seeing shit go down, he naturally took some time off, till the waters were calm. No sense in being killed himself for any possible relation to the guild huh? But, after great toil and secrecy he managed to steal the vase. He would naturally claim(or rather, not claim unless asked) to know nothing of the magickal doohickey and saw us, the affable industrialist, as just another flavorful npc. When they access the contents, they would see nothing too eccentric and certainly nothing evil. And, voila, they suspect nothing. Fools. MWAHAHAHAHAH

    Or, if they already know we're evil and put their 'wat' face, we could proceed as planned from there. Scry the orb, then detonate it If the place is warded against. Of, for some reason, we can't scry the orb, then have the assassin capture the contact and proceed with interrogation. At least we would know who means us ill.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/14/11(Sat)03:14 No.14921040
    How could this have happened? Who would dare spy on you, even less be able to get the recording stones in your tower? It appears you have a new nemesis, sire.

    Checking the other vases, you find no other stones apart from the first. Holding it in your hand, you carefully take the device to your laboratory. Dipping the stone in an alchemic mixture of Magewater and blood, you pull it out with a pair of prongs and place it on a workbench. Along with your spider assistants, you silently carve smaller runes into the stone, filling them with a quick drying paste. The runes glow as you override the stone's enchantment with your own, reformatting it to send out a signal to you and you alone upon being accessed. Wiring it to a glass sphere filled with Magewater, you hold the stone and the sphere in your hands and think. The recordings of the stone filling your mind, you sense it is near to full capacity. Smiling evilly, you sift through the mountains of data, and over the course of three long hours doctor the information within. Replacing the torture with a conversation with a guard, and replacing your spotting the thief with a game of cricket with your spiders. The doctored audio overwriting the stone's original data, you set the stone back in the vase. Now, how to get it to whoever smuggled it into your tower...

    Taking a moment to think, you contact the witch via orb, and send for Fat and Ugly. Relaying your discovery to the witch, she seems to think that she has uncovered a conspiracy to take over the town. Someone outside, unaware of your tower, most likely tried to spy on your persona the fabric mogul. For reasons she does not know, they also saw fit to try and have the guild heads take over the town, rather than contacting the witch. Perhaps they were aware of her status as a magic-user, and felt that she was too much of a threat. Thanking her for her report, you leave her to speak with Fat and Ugly.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/14/11(Sat)03:14 No.14921049
    They seem angered by the news of the vase deception, as any loyal minion would. Discussing the vases with them, and ordering them to find out who sent them, they leave at your command to Mooncrown, with the vases in tow. Contacting the witch again, you tell her to pull the records on all shipments for the tower and start looking for things related to vases. She replies that she already is, and has found the shipment record, though the information seems falsified. As you hang up the orb, you see your spidermen begin leaping through the large throne room window. Kneeling before you, the spidermen lead holds the golden vase from the drop point in his hands.
    "I have recovered the stolen vase, master."

    Hmm. How shall you use this to your advantage, oh Dark One?
    Ah! Brilliant, sire!

    Laughing evilly, something which you have of course gotten quite good at, you place the stone in the vase and tell a guard to go and fetch the elf and the assassin. Congratulating the spidermen on their success, you wait patiently for the elf to arrive. Dragged before you by the guard, with the assassin close behind him, he yells as he spots her and crawls towards you.
    "Look, I'll do whatever you want, just please keep her away! I'm sorry! I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry-"
    He continues to repeat his apology as you speak to the assassin. Discussing your plot with her, you order her to follow the elf as he redelivers the vase to the drop point, meeting with his contact there. She cannot be seen by either party. Smiling, she turns and leaves, and after watching her do so, you turn your attention to the elf. Pulling him up to his knees, you tell him that he, under pain of a slow and agonizing death, is to bring the vase back to the drop point. Sobbing, he thanks you for the opportunity to redeem himself, and runs off with the vase to do as he has been told.

    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:17 No.14921072
    Wow, that assassin did a good job with the torture thing. Not exactly sure that's a good thing though. We need to watch out for her.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:19 No.14921096
         File1305357570.png-(60 KB, 1501x743, machine_spider.png)
    60 KB
    Send a few spiders with the assassin, for observation and in case she needs backup. Their ability to record and transfer images is invaluable for surveillance purposes.

    After the drop is complete, provided the elf is not required to leave with whoever is picking up the vase (and isn't just killed to leave no loose ends), he is to return here for debriefing. But not directly. We don't want anyone getting even more suspicious.
    >> anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:19 No.14921097

    She's just trying to be helpful - if she wanted to stick the knife in she'd of done it long ago.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:25 No.14921134
    We should have carved some explosive runes into his head, or something.

    You, know, a literal kill switch.

    Or something that we can use to monitor him constantly and speak to him in his head. Just keep using him and slowly drive him insane.

    Hopefully in the middle of a market on a busy day in such a manner that it drives him to a frenzied homicidal state that makes all elves look untrustworthy.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:25 No.14921137
    >Or something that we can use to monitor him constantly and speak to him in his head

    That's right!

    Do we have any of his hair?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:35 No.14921210
    We gotta go and make an orb for him. And also watch the assassin's thoughts while she's watching him.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:39 No.14921235

    We have all his hair, we shaved him, remember?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)04:00 No.14921400
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)04:02 No.14921423
    OP, what if you wrote shorter replies more often?
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/14/11(Sat)04:16 No.14921526
    It appears, Dark One, that 'part of my comment isn't allowed to be posted. No matter how I try and find a way around that.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)04:17 No.14921541
    Paste it in your text editor of choice, and take screenshots.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/14/11(Sat)04:33 No.14921689
    Sadly Dark One, I appear to again be having technical difficulties, and cannot post a screencap.

    Therefore I must sign off for the night. I shall continue at the same time tomorrow. Goodnight, oh evil one.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)04:34 No.14921699
    Well, thanks anyway. See you tomorrow, minion. You have done well.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)04:40 No.14921748

    Agreed. A suitable award should see itself in your possession in the near future.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)14:41 No.14925649
    rolled 88 = 88


    When is the next session?

    Delete Post [File Only]
    Style [Yotsuba | Yotsuba B | Futaba | Burichan]