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    98 KB Dark Overlord Quest Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/12/11(Thu)16:26 No.14904666  
    Long ago, in a land of ancient secrets and powerful magic, there was a mortal man. This man, this singular will, would become the Dark One, the greatest evil of all time. Legend tells of his rise to power, and his glorious victories over the pathetic forces of GOOD. His name is whispered in hushed voices, by people huddled in dark corners, out of fear their own reflections. Those who were alive during his reign of terror fear his return above all else, for he alone do they consider "A huge douche, really."

    Well at least that's better than "A bit of a dick, I suppose". Gods, what does it take to impress these people?

    You, the great and terrifying Dark One, have just succeeded in acquiring the services of an assassin, formerly in the witch's employ. You have also begun work on replacing Frank the Dead's tower with something less like a giant rotten carrot, and more like a symbol of your awesome power. The village you recently took control of has been working very hard to get construction underway, but being a bunch of smelly pumpkin eaters, they have a hard time understanding the intricacies of the project.

    It's been two weeks since you took over the village. Having set your affairs in order, you took it upon yourself to modify your existing artificial spiders. Integrating a modular silk-spinning device into their bodies, they have learned to use it quite effectively, and can spin webs of organic metal five feet wide in only a few minutes. In addition to experimenting with your spiders, you have begun working with the Magewater you used to rid the town of the zombie threat. Using it in the forging process of a small silver ball, you have discovered that it possesses magic amplifying properties. From your research, you determined that the Magewater caused a necromantic overload in the zombies, thus rendering them catatonic.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/12/11(Thu)16:27 No.14904679
    You have continued your studies into Frank the Dead's books, and have picked up a few magical tricks. You can now summon creatures to do your bidding, and channel raw magical energy into target-following spheres of lightning.

    You awaken to the sound of a bird chirping outside your tower window. Disgusting creature. With a wave of your hand, a spider drops from above, grabbing the bird in mid jump and pulling it out of sight. A dulled crack indicates that it is in fact, dead. Such beautiful things as your spiders bring a tear to my eye, oh Dark Overlord.

    What dastardly and evil plots shall you undertake now?

    >Previous Threads:
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)16:29 No.14904698
    rolled 63 = 63

    We clearly need to breed us up some intelligent (but still wholly subservient) man-spider guards to use.

    Let's see if we can get a few "volunteers" from the townspeople to experiment on.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)16:29 No.14904702
    Let's go abuse our power! Light people on fire for no reason and then make them thank us!

    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)16:31 No.14904721
    rolled 27 = 27


    No. We are not turning this into "Stupid Evil Quest". Go take your pyromania somewhere else. As a Dark Overlord, we have standards.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)16:31 No.14904722
    rolled 70 = 70

    yeah, this sounds good.
    >> ACOG 05/12/11(Thu)16:35 No.14904774
    I propose a system of public works projects to improve the lives of our subjects.
    captcha which vireding
    Set up the library up with occult tomes, the statues in a magic ring, rig the wells with poison, the bridges to collapse, and raid the morgue for useful materials.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/12/11(Thu)16:46 No.14904890
    An inspired idea, evil one. Splice together human and spider biology, to make creatures better than they could ever be apart! You need only get volunteers, for you have everything else you need for the project.

    You, in your traditional fashion, rise from your bed and get straight to work. Addressing what problems the witch-mayor brings to your attention, you soon leave your tower and ride your spiders as a wave towards the village with no name. The trip is fast and easy, you need only stand upon the spiders as you fly forth over land. Finding your way to the mayor's mansion, you call forth the guards I call Fat and Ugly. Ordering Fat and Ugly to gather some volunteers for a magical experiment, you assure them that it is in no way evil or malicious, as much as it pains you to do so. A clever ruse, sire.

    As you wait patiently in the mayoral mansion, you take the time to write up orders to install an occult section at the city library, which for now is just a large, empty building with ten bookshelves and a bunch of dust. You decide upon renovating the library with more occult works, and as you finish your instructions and hand them off to the mayor's assistant, you spy Fat and Ugly approaching, having rounded up some the dirtiest, smelliest homeless you have ever gazed up. Ordering Fat and Ugly to bring them to your tower, you look around at the city you rule. Your orders to clean it up have not gone unnoticed, but it still has a long way to go to be acceptable by any standards.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)16:51 No.14904937
    rolled 98 = 98


    Smelly bums? Hmm, not the most ideal pictures of health to deal with our tests, but we can get stronger human subjects to use after we perfect the process.

    And why do we want to allow occult tomes in the library? I would think it would be best to limit access to magical knowledge from our subjects, to better keep them in line under us.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)16:52 No.14904952
    Now, we must experiment on the volunteers. But we should also consider the fact that our power base is very small, and we need to expand. I think once the zombie control tower is working though, we'll have a much better chance of taking over the lands around the village.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)16:53 No.14904961
    I think we're doing the whole thing that >>14904774 said
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)16:54 No.14904968
    >This thread's first post

    Just as planned.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)16:54 No.14904980
    rolled 92 = 92


    Well it's a bad idea. The more the plebians know about magic, OUR magic, the less intimidating and authoritative we appear to them.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)17:02 No.14905068
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)17:05 No.14905096
    I think we should clean the hobos before we spiderize them.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/12/11(Thu)17:11 No.14905156
    Oh dear, it appears that you were not decided upon the idea of an occult library. I shall rectify that immediately.

    Telling the assistant to keep the orders for later, until such a time as you are completely decided upon the library renovations, you tell her to go ahead with the modifications to the bridges and wells. Leaving the mayoral mansion, you glide overland far faster than the stinking homeless, and reach your tower before they are halfway there. Yelling out orders, the tower spiders, larger than their brothers the wave spiders, begin preparing your laboratory. It's not extraordinarily large or well stocked, but with the extra room next to it set up as a temporary home for your spidermen, you should have no trouble with your experiment.

    As Fat and Ugly arrive with the homeless, your tower guards escort them to the spare room, where they wait impatiently as you prepare the mixture. It takes several hours to mix the proper amounts of spiders into the various chemicals you create, and another three before they are all properly mixed. But it is worth it, for the power to alter life on a fundamental level. One by one, you call forth the stinking commoners into the room, and sit them in a chair in the center of a summoning circle. Injecting them with the chemical, you attach them to the chair and begin to recite the incantation you created. Channeling large amounts of Divine magic, you imbue the homeless with the power of spiders, and as they slumber in a drug induced coma, you watch them begin to change. Their skin shifts as their bones strengthen, and their muscles become more dense. It is both horrifying and wondrous. The homeless, all the dirt burned from their skin by the spell, are left in the room, as you continue to review your notes. It appears to be a complete success, Dark One. They will sleep for several days at least, sadly, but when they awaken I expect they will be far more than merely mortal.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)17:12 No.14905170

    It's not like they're going to be too pretty-looking when we're done with them anyways. Heh.

    But sure, why not. Make them comfortable at least before we begin in earnest.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)17:14 No.14905190

    Indulge in a little evil laughter at our success. We can worry about training them properly when they awaken. For now we should get some information on how the other projects we've started around the town are progressing.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)17:21 No.14905271
    Go and troll the witch-mayor, and then get an update on the tower project.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)17:21 No.14905272
    We should definitely have someone trustworthy keep notes and records on their transformation in the meantime.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)17:24 No.14905305
    I say we make the occult library for us and only us. make a warding spell of some sort to keep others from getting in. T the very least have some sort of librarian spider keep it safe.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)17:27 No.14905334
    rolled 52 = 52

    yes, we should have our dark lady taking notes for us.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)17:28 No.14905347
    The witch mayor is not for trollan she is for shadow govormentan. We are a gentleman we do not gloat.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)17:31 No.14905382

    Didn't we offer the assassin a chance to humiliate the witch? Let's make good on that.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)17:35 No.14905417
    rolled 97 = 97


    Remember though, the witchlady is the newly-elected mayor of the town. She's the public face of the town, and we don't want to delegitimize her authority in the eyes of the populace.

    If our assassin does humiliate her, make sure it's done privately.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)17:38 No.14905451

    We seem to be using Fat and Ugly a lot as guards, might as well let them watch.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/12/11(Thu)17:39 No.14905465
    Laughing at your success, as all true evildoers are so prone to you, you cough as your voice cracks slightly. Writing a note to the witch, you send a spider off to find her, that she might meet you at the laboratory. A few minutes pass, and she comes quickly down the bend. Carrying a small notebook to write down your discoveries, she bows and speaks.
    "How may I serve you, master?"
    Smiling, you cheerfully dictate your notes on the homeless/spider hybrids to her, and request an update on the tower project.
    "The common folk have been extraordinarily cooperative, my lord. They have completed their work on preparing the building materials, and will move the materials to your tower's location first thing tomorrow. They have also requested that I hold a feast in your honor, for overthrowing me. It is set to begin next week."
    Smiling, you pat her on the back and move on, instructing her to keep an eye on the hybrids as you go about your work. Leaving the witch be, you send a spider to summon the assassin.

    You sit on your throne as you wait, and continue reading from a Tome on Shadow magic as you do so. Three hours pass as you sit in the quiet of your throne room, your mind taking in all the knowledge it can. Glancing over the edge of you book, you see a flash of black drop from the ceiling and land before you. The assassin waves as she gets to her feet.
    "You wanted to see me?"
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)17:44 No.14905519
    rolled 18 = 18

    >they have also requested that I throw a feast in your honor for overthrowing me
    I laughed more than I should have

    anyway, we tell the assassin that she'll get a good chance to publicly humiliate the witch at the feast, and request that she train our spider-men in the arts of assassination.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)17:44 No.14905529

    "You've had a chance to see how the town is working now. I'm sure you understand that the witch is too useful to kill in her new position as puppet mayor, but I would hate to deny you the opportunity to exact some revenge on her. Have you been thinking of ways you'd like to see her humiliated or otherwise punished? I'd prefer that she not be permanently injured, since I ultimately have to pay for her medical expenses, but anything else is on the table, so to speak. Understand that I wouldn't offer this to just any of the people she wronged; I like you."
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)17:49 No.14905581
    Also totally voteing for occult librabry. Just saying guys; Spider librarians.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)17:50 No.14905596
    rolled 24 = 24


    On one hand, it would get the populace being more accepting of the darker arts, but I'm still wary of exposing too much of our knowledge to the general public. We could severly restrict access to it with the spider librarians...
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)17:51 No.14905604
    rolled 34 = 34

    occult library is a fucking stupid idea, not only would it bring foreign mages to our little town, it would also educate the unwashed masses in magic. for all we know there's a prodigy in there, even stronger than us
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)17:51 No.14905609
    I propose we investigate a weapon of mass destruction, a McGuffin suitably fiendish as to render reality as putty in our gloved hands.

    Perhaps a Dimensional Door we can kick off it's hinges?
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)17:53 No.14905624
    Would you rather we wait for some idiot prodigy to stumble upon power or let them discover magic while we are still viewed as a hero and possible tutor.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)17:54 No.14905630
    Which why I wanted it to be for US. and ONLY us. A warding pell or a magic mcuffinn to keep stupid people away. We are evil. We are not building a fucking pubic library. Just one for us.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)17:55 No.14905636
    rolled 88 = 88


    We could institute some kind of reeducation program to specifically identify people with magical potential and indoctrinate them to serve us.

    But freely allowing access to information is never a good idea when we're trying to control people.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)17:55 No.14905639
    We do have a magical pool so why don't we just continue experimenting with that ,maybe even create some macguffin's to spread chaos through other false overlords.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)17:56 No.14905641

    Education and upward mobility make life under an evil overlord tolerable, or even desirable for the masses. So what if a prodigy is discovered and he doesn't want to work for us? We'll have an entire school of trained mages, a legion of spider hybrids, an army of peasants loyal to us because we made their lives much better and promised better lives for their children, a supernaturally loyal witch, and an assassin that knows her bread is best buttered with us.

    The benefits outweigh the risks.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)17:56 No.14905643
    rolled 62 = 62

    >build a library
    >for personal use
    how about..you know, adding a study into our new tower?
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)17:57 No.14905651
    we could do a set of spells when we are more powerful to create illusions over the books to all those who can't do magic and only leave minor spellbooks. Along with this we could et up some spiders to watch for magic usage.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)17:58 No.14905661
    rolled 87 = 87

    you assume anyone can use magic, what if it's only a handful of people?
    and when the rabble inevitably gets roused (don't forge t that this will piss of the king and his giant army) all the spiders in the world won't stop them.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)17:59 No.14905667
    Ok study library whatever. I was just suggesting a place to put our magic shit.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)18:01 No.14905690
    rolled 65 = 65


    We'd need to have direct oversight of such education though. That's why I suggested actively seeking out young people with magical potential and setting up a reeducation camp to indoctrinate them into serving us and ONLY us.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)18:03 No.14905709
    rolled 2 = 2

    Make it a Butt-kissing Meritocratic(silly me, is there any other kind of Meritocracy?) magical-scrying Fascism and we are go.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)18:03 No.14905712
    Reeducation is a little iffy without a huge power base we'd be better off with hunting down outcasts from actual magical institutes (if they exist) and simply giving them access to knowledge with a binding agreement to not use their power against our own (maybe a dark contract with a bunch of arbitrary rules).
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)18:07 No.14905735
    rolled 64 = 64


    We can combine the two. Make our initiates pledge an oath (under penalty of death or extreme pain or something else fun like that) to be loyal and obedient to us, and reward them based on how well they please us and carry out our instructions.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)18:09 No.14905758
    I think that giving them free reign would be more productive since it's more appealing (so they will come of their own volition) and the fact that they will cause issues everywhere will make our regime be an attractive alternative. downside is that there will be a larger percentage of adventurers coming to take down one evil sorcerer or another.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/12/11(Thu)18:10 No.14905767
    "Really. You're really offering me this chance? Well, I must say, I've spent the last two years dreaming up ways I could humiliate that whore. And now I get to put them into action? I can't wait."
    She pauses to admire the decorations on the wall. Classical artwork of ancient deeds and battles unknown. While she's looking at the art, you take a moment to continue reading. She turns back to you and speaks again.
    "Right. I'll train your little 'spidermen', but don't expect me to train them well enough to replace me. I'm an assassin, not a professor. But yeah, I've got some ways I'd like to make that bitch pay. And I can do it at that feast she's been advertising."
    You go to speak, but looking up from your book, she's nowhere to be found. Hmm.

    Marking your page in the book, you walk to your tower study. A small alcove in the side of the tower, it hasn't much in the way of space. You think to change that. Ordering your spiders to begin expanding it into the unused rooms it sits between, you leave several of the tower spiders as guardians and librarians for the moment. Perhaps once the larger tower is completed, it will have a much larger study.

    As you return to the homeless room to check on the patients, you hear someone yell for you. Fat comes running up, breathing sharply, soon accompanied by Ugly. Struggling to catch his breath, Ugly speaks up.
    "Some... Lord... next week... the village."
    You tell him to speak in an actually sentence. Explain yourself, guard!
    "Some Lord is coming to the village next week. I just got a note from his messenger. He wants a feast held in his honor. Something about a victory over Picardwall."
    Well. That's no good.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)18:12 No.14905787
         File1305238364.jpg-(42 KB, 491x398, 1298223550578.jpg)
    42 KB
    Alright, kids, keep the game moving. This metagaming shit has to stop somewhere.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)18:13 No.14905793
    rolled 2 = 2

    but..but that's when OUR feast is...oh well, hope he likes pie.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)18:14 No.14905796

    It's too risky to let them work independently. We can break and train them well enough, simply hide the brainwashing part of our education from initiates and attract newcomers through other means.

    Somebody mentioned targeting outcasts and misfits from other institutions. People with nothing to lose and a desire to prove themselves. We can go the old "Join the cool kids club, we understand you FAR better than those stuffy old codgers ever could" route to convince them to come, but once they sign their acceptance to our contract, they are ours to control.

    Nobody ever said we had to be honest about our methods. We're evil, remember?
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)18:16 No.14905825
    Arrange for his kidnap and ransom with a group of local thugs and bring them on as "enforcers". What do we know about Picardwall?
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)18:17 No.14905839
    let's not be too hasty we should investigate this lord and make sure we cover up our experiments and creations in the mountain and make the village seem as unappealing as possible (wont take much work). Make sure he meets with the witch alone and give him some pie then work from there.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)18:19 No.14905860
    Info on picardwall would be nice. also have some smaller spider apy on him when the lord arrives.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)18:19 No.14905869
    For that we should probably set up a small magical university of sorts a little ways off from the village with the senior dorm being carved from the mountain and connected to our tower. We just have to make sure a proper headmaster is in power to minimize suspicion and hide our existences (us and witch).
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)18:20 No.14905870

    We know nothing about this guy. Let's get some intelligence down first. Bring the witch back and ask her what she knows, as an opener.

    We may need to hit city hall for information, the people there would surely know who this guy is and what war he's talking about. Once we have more information we can start planning what we'll do against him.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)18:20 No.14905880
    rolled 12 = 12


    I agree with this plan.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)18:24 No.14905911
    rolled 7 = 7

    >I just got a note from his messenger. He wants a feast held in his honor. Something about a victory over Picardwall

    Well, I guess it is time to heat up the oven! hehehe
    (I mean to bake the pie, if you didn't understand)

    Then we need to find another volunteer! (to sell his soul, of course)

    I think we need information:
    How many spiders do we have (at least average amount)
    WHAT kind of spiders do we have, and what can they do?
    What are our spiders made from (are there still spiders made out of rotten wood and rat bones?)
    What recourses do we have? I know we should have gotten a Gold mine from the Witch, but are we exploiting it?
    Are there any other recourse deposits nearby? IIRC the mountains should hold iron... right?

    What I was thinking... why are we using commoners to build the tower, exactly? I know ruling over them and all is fun and dandy but it seems to me that the spider wave would do better job.
    Speaking of spiders, we should upgrade them all to better materials (steel spiders).... and have personal spiders (which take us to places and become our mobile throne) be gold plated, imbued with germs and shit, and be decorated ... Basically, PIMP our spiders. We will have BLING spiders!
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)18:25 No.14905922
    rolled 44 = 44


    Sounds good to me.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)18:30 No.14905978
    >blng spiders

    >> Taffer 05/12/11(Thu)18:31 No.14905986
    Also, we may be slightly vulnerable on the spiderwave. Can we get a bigger spider that can burrrow? So when we travel on the wave, we have an unseen, underground protector, ready to pop out at a moments notice.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)18:31 No.14905995
    rolled 58 = 58

    Then we need to find another volunteer! (to sell his soul, of course)

    Speaking of volunteers, the Lord should have some kind of escort, we just could fetch one from them.
    Give pie to the Lord, then order the Lord to have someone from his escort to come to the dining hall and eat some pie.
    Commence shadow-contract.

    >Assassin humiliating the witch
    It has come to my attention that all the contract forbids to inflict harm upon us ... but not on other people, right? Just to be sure we should order the witch not to harm the assassin.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)18:32 No.14906004
    What about spiderbees? You can't even run away from them.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)18:36 No.14906037
    rolled 17 = 17

    We should have different spiders:

    Universal spiders (can do general tasks but aren't experts on any kind of thing)
    Worker/builder spiders
    Soldier spiders (optimized for battle, can have crossbows mounted on them and fire-breath. Sizes can vary)
    Siege spiders (gargantuan spiders optimized for breaking down castles and shit. Maybe a mobile factory which can shit out waves of smaller spiders by using local resources [trees, bodies, animals, grass, metal, weapons, armor etc])
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)18:36 No.14906045
    Why don't we just skip the wave all together and instead have a mobile spider platform/throne (Giant spider/chair with many smaller spiders inside)
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)18:40 No.14906076
    seconded on thew witch part. There is nothing stopping the witch from zapping the bitch.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)18:40 No.14906079
    Yeah, good idea. When we next talk to the witch we should order her to not permanently harm the assassin, though invective and even slap fighting is acceptable.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)18:49 No.14906181
    In fact mud wrestling is very acceptable.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/12/11(Thu)18:53 No.14906213
    Dark One, your spiders are as follows:
    7 Small Spiders, Bone and Iron
    30 Medium Spiders, Steel
    10 Large Spiders, Wood and Iron
    You are, of course, actively exploiting the gold mine, which has thus far lined your coffer significantly. The iron that your mountain once held was sadly mined out decades ago, but you can easily purchase more as needed. The witch has also diverted the money from the villager's taxes away from the former mayor's own funds and towards your own. While you could use the spiders to build the tower, they lack the sheer numbers of the villagers. And if they were to work together, the relationship between them might stall the construction.
    Your larger spiders can burrow extremely quickly, but are non-threatening in a combat situation. Being a mage, you can easily change that, if you so choose. Doing so would make the spider less practical as a servant, however.
    Muttering under your breath about interlopers and how you hate them, you question Ugly on the lord's identity.
    "Uh, he said his name was Blackmoor. Never heard of him myself, but-"
    Fat interrupts Ugly: "I have. He's the guy who put the old mayor in power, your lordship. Before the new mayor came along, the old mayor answered only to Blackmoor."
    "What, really?"
    "Yes, really."
    Sighing at their stupidity, you send the guards to the town with orders to act normal. While they leave, you call forth several of your smaller spiders. They eagerly hang from the ceiling as you give them their mission. They are to go forth, find this Blackmoor, and relay all the information they can to you. They cannot under any circumstances allow themselves to be discovered.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)18:53 No.14906214
    rolled 42 = 42

    Yes, and we should called upon if such thing happens so that we can watch it atop of our golden spider throne
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/12/11(Thu)18:54 No.14906225
    The spiders happily scurrying off, you turn and continue on to the laboratory. The witch is still there, monitoring the spidermen, and as you approach bows and gets you up to speed on their condition. Their condition has not changed. You are now up to speed. Thanking her for the update, you lean in close and tell her that she is not to harm the assassin. Questioning her, you feel confident that she understands, and dismiss her to the town to act as the mayor, for now. Entering your laboratory, you look upon your spiders with some manner of curiosity. Perhaps you might improve upon their design?

    Ordering forth all the materials needed, you get to work on several of them. Replacing old bone and wood with steel rods and reinforced stone, you enhance all you can regarding your spiders. When you finish with that, you move on to weaponry. A few small gems, enchanted with magical power, are wired into their bodies. And for the larger ones, several wands installed in their structures. It is a long and boring process, but as you make progress you watch with glee as the spiders adapt to their new abilities. The now far more deadly, and far more efficient spiders are gathered before you. The tower spiders, with their wands and cold steel blades, the single guardian spider, able to burrow under walls and buildings, and attack from behind. And the spy spiders, your first creations, able to inject deadly poison with but a touch. But forget not the wave spiders, now armed with jets of flame and ice. Your small army, however odd, is now a far more potent force.

    You glance at the clock on the laboratory wall. It can't be THAT late, can it?
    >> anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)18:57 No.14906249
    Anyone thought about making a uberarachni yet?

    It could have the abilities of several of these creations...
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)18:58 No.14906254
    rolled 35 = 35


    Build bunch of spiders which can burrow and have some kind of metal detection. Have them go around you domain to seek out more metal deposits.

    Buy some iron.

    Upgrade all your spiders to be made out of better material.
    Make your small spiders into crafters . Have about 20 of them or something.
    Use these spiders to make stuff (including other spiders)
    Then build whole bunch of builder/digger/miner/logger spiders. We will use them to mine out any deposits we find, log trees and build shit.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)18:59 No.14906262
    Am I the only one that hears this narration in Gnarl's voice?
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:01 No.14906276
    Given the context of the quest, I'd say that's intentional.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:02 No.14906281
    Does that mean we can kick the OP?
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:04 No.14906299
    rolled 57 = 57

    Oh, also

    Don't forget that our spiders are learning and adapting which is .... rather scary.
    Wouldn't want a spider revolution on our ass would we?

    So apply the modified "Laws of Robotics" onto your spiders.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:08 No.14906336
    Maybe? I'm not sure how exactly the OP exists in the quest?
    >> anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:09 No.14906353

    The spiders are loyal to their brood-master.

    Perhaps though it would be wise to treat them for a change, after all - such wonderful minions should be rewarded for their services.

    The only question is, what manner of reward should one provide to an army of carnivorous arachnids?
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:10 No.14906366
    I don't think they actually EAT, really. But they seem to like killing things. Maybe give them a whole bunch of chickens and let them go crazy?
    >> anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:12 No.14906379

    > a bunch of chickens.

    Depends. Do we have any prisoners or traitors we need to deal with?

    I'd look over the previous threads but i cba.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:13 No.14906392
    Or more hobos!
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:14 No.14906404
    We should invite Shaiara (the assassin) to dinner a couple of days before the feast. Just a social thing.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:16 No.14906418
    Maybe have the witch there too, so the assassin can build up to whatever it is she's going to do.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:17 No.14906422
    Speaking of the hobos maybe we should make another spider-beast and test the effects of the magic pool on it.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:19 No.14906438

    Keep the witch in another room near by, maybe, and broach the idea at dinner.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:19 No.14906441
    rolled 81 = 81

    How do our spider-men even look like?
    Are they some kind of hideous creatures with 8 limbs or did we make comic book Spider-Men?

    If it is the latter then "with great power comes-"
    AH, I am just kidding
    We need to make the spider-web devices for them if the can't produce them.

    (we did make sure that they would be utterly loyal, didn't we?)
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:22 No.14906459
    What about the weaving idea? I'd imagine spiders that can produce metal thread could make some grade A chainmail.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:27 No.14906508
    They'd need to operate as tiny forges maybe we could set them up with some kind of alchemists flame.
    >> anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:29 No.14906520

    Unless we had some sort of spider that could handle molten metal.

    Maybe if it had some sort of diamond-encrusted carapace or something...
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:41 No.14906631
    Really all we would need is an enchantment on the spider itself and create a large abdomen out of a stone capable of withstanding heat (enlarged abdomen could act as forge).
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:43 No.14906666
    Why haven't we created any biological spiders yet? People keep suggesting it, but we still only have golems.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:45 No.14906690
    We do have the spider-human hybrids and bone spiders (small only).
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:46 No.14906698
    Question, are we moving towards keeping the villagers well off serfs, or perhaps develop the area into an evil commune of sorts? Think upper/middle class, generally dark/evil folks. I think the latter would end up translating well into a sweet evil nation state, capable of rousing armies of necromancers and undead legions.
    >> anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:47 No.14906717

    But crystal spiders would look really cool!
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:47 No.14906720
    I think we are going more for blissfully ignorant slaves at this point.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:48 No.14906727

    Slaves that don't know they're slaves are the best. It's even better if they think they're free but honestly just can't afford to do any better than they are under us.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/12/11(Thu)19:49 No.14906730
    Despite the fact that you are deep into the night, you can't sleep. How could you, evil one, when there is so much to do? Studying your spiders, you have them weave many a thread, as ideas spin through your mind. As they arrange their threads into new and interested shapes, an idea forms in your mind. Directing them in their spinning over the course of an hour, you show them the basics of weaving fabrics. They take on their new skills swiftly, but the creation of the fabric is a slow and careful process. As the spiders weave cloth in the darkness of your laboratory, you leave them for sleep. Sadly sire, despite your immense intellect, you are still a mortal man.

    When you awake, you find yourself staring at a thin grey shirt hanging from the ceiling. The spiders scurry about happily, and wag the shirt back and forth, beckoning you. Climbing out of your bed, you pull the shirt on. It is lightweight, and seems to move with your body more than regular cloth. As the spiders leave your room, you dress yourself completely, and leave for your throne room. The witch is there waiting, along with Fat and Ugly. They bow as you approach, and the witch holds a small bundle of papers towards you. Taking it, you read the report, and pause. Blackmoor is coming to the city with armed escort, and in only three days. There is a war going on, and nobody thought fit to tell the citizens of your village. Apparently it's been going on for months.

    A small spider climbs up the side of your throne as you sit on it. Touching your hand, you feel it try to send you images. Accepting the spell, you see through its eyes. Blackmoor sleeping in his bed, a single claw cutting a piece of hair from his head, and withdrawing. Glancing down at your hand, you see the spider place the hair near your palm, and excuse itself. Hmm.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:50 No.14906744
    rolled 43 = 43

    I kind of want to have an army of spiders which do all the work and leave the peasants to their devices ... maybe experiment on them once in a while but I don't see why we should bother with them too much.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:50 No.14906745
    Kick the OP.
    >> anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:52 No.14906768

    The spiders are showing advanced intelligence.

    Perhaps a test should be performed to determine whether or not they are capable of self-thought...
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:53 No.14906771
    rolled 30 = 30

    Damn, our spiders are awesome.
    We should tell them they did good job or give them a treat or something.

    So, think of all the rituals and magic shit you can do with the hair. Ask the witch if she knows anything.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:53 No.14906776
    Perhaps we could use the lock of hair to control Blackmoor, or create a clone of sorts to replace him and carry out our agenda on a larger, political scale.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:54 No.14906790
    Begin developing a spell to reduce or eliminate the need for sleep.

    Begin magically enslaving and altering regular, biological spiders.

    Test the spider-cloth for tensile strength, damage resistance, magical properties, etc. Have full sets of spider-cloth clothing made for ourselves, the witch, and the assassin.

    See if we can make a balloon, floating either on heated air, hydrogen, or helium, out of spider-cloth.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:57 No.14906823
    rolled 5 = 5

    and have people prepare for the feast.
    At first we will make it look like it was intended for the Lord but them we'll feed him the pie, make a shadow contract and make him a servant of ours.

    Shit, we could keep doing this up till the Crown
    >> sage 05/12/11(Thu)19:58 No.14906836
    After the stuff with blackmoor we must see to it that if spiderhumans work out we aquire the best humans so as to maximize the hybrid potential,not these homeless scum
    >> anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)19:59 No.14906847

    Which is part of the reason why we need to determine the true extent of our creation's self-awareness.

    If we are being used then it is probable they will turn on us when victory is but within our grasp.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)20:00 No.14906860

    We can mess with the spiders further when we have more time. Right now we've got a feast to arrange, an armed escort to divert, and a Blackmoor to subvert to our ends.

    We need a real plan for dealing with Blackmoor. Taking him over the same was as we did the witch is ok if we can get him away from his guards. Given that he is some kinda war hero, I'm betting we're going to have trouble on that front. If we can just trick him into accepting the witch as the new mayor, and leaving us alone while we continue to consolidate, that would be good enough.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)20:01 No.14906876

    What if he's allergic to apple pie? And a feast is a very public event, we're going to probably have trouble getting him alone.

    If we don't want to undo the work we've done here making the peasants think we're awesome, we're going to need to be subtle.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)20:02 No.14906886
    rolled 65 = 65

    We are having a feast ... in his name.
    Can't we just feed him the pie at that time (though he might refuse to eat it and fuck everything up. We should be extra careful to make it look as appealing as possible)
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)20:02 No.14906890
    rolled 84 = 84

    perhaps we should also make some spider cloth clothes for the Lord that's coming, a nice cloak to celebrate his achievements...see if we can get him on our side through diplomacy before we make him a pie.
    >> anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)20:02 No.14906893

    I see.

    Perhaps a plan is necessary then - perhaps we could arrange for the guards to be dispatched somehow without we ourselves taking the blame?

    In chess it is a typical technique to sacrifice a pawn to take an opponent's knight...
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)20:03 No.14906897
    rolled 30 = 30


    Just have a spider shove a little bit it in his mouth when he sleeps. Then appear to give orders (or relay them through the spiders)
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)20:04 No.14906909
    We do have all those hibernating zombies still why not just have them wake up near the camp and cause a little chaos.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)20:04 No.14906919
    rolled 79 = 79

    We still need to find out what kind of ritual we could do with his hair.
    >> anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)20:06 No.14906933

    It's not sufficient.

    We need to incapacitate the fellow somehow and remove his guards, then we can perform whatever mind-control we like on him.

    Perhaps the witch could be... useful... towards this end...
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/12/11(Thu)20:06 No.14906938
    The days leading up to Blackmoor's arrival pass slowly, and during that time you get many things done. Adapting several spiders to search for mineral deposits, you delegate the preparations for the feast, now four days sooner, to the witch. She's all bowing and servile obedience, and the feast seems to come together extremely quickly. The spiders finish the study after two days, now much expanded, and far more expensive looking. The spiders that care for the library hang from the ceiling like lamps, watching and ready to act at any moment. While reading through many of the books in your study, you spot a spider looking through a book itself. It glances over at you, and carries the book on its back in your direction. Placing it carefully before it, it points with a metal claw at the recipe within. Reading it, you find the recipe to be one of ranged mental communication. It creates a small crystalline orb, through which its creator may communicate over great distances mentally. It can only be bound to one subject, and its ingredients include hair the subject.

    You have also tested the new spider silk shirt's limits. It appears to be able to not only resist puncture from things such as knives, but also disperse force from sudden impacts, as well as extreme heat and small amounts of magic. Your experiments with it have lead to your commissioning of a full suit of the same material from your spiders, as well as a dress for the witch. The spiders finish it right on schedule, and with your new, upper-class clothing, you look the part of a mayor, as does the witch.

    It is the day before Blackmoor's arrival. Morning. What course of action shall you take, oh Dark One, before he comes to the village?
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)20:08 No.14906963

    I think that the apple pie in the night strategy should be our Plan B.

    Plan A ought to be just getting him out of the way by getting him agreeable to the witch remaining mayor, since the former mayor had a horrible accident and she was his best assistant, and the town is happy with her, and she's very capable, and we're just a friend of hers that's providing a little help here and there. A businessman, starting to establish a textile factory that makes incredibly strong silks.

    Then we give him a cloak, blah blah blah, diplomicize him into agreeing to let the witch be, and let us alone as long as he gets his taxes. We'd eventually turn on him, or turn him directly, but for now keeping a low profile seems more important.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)20:09 No.14906976
    rolled 58 = 58

    The spiders are a bit eerie
    >> anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)20:10 No.14906984

    Show the witch the lock of hair and ask her what magical potion or spell could be performed with it.

    It's possible we do not have the capable to control this Blackmoor, but even if that is the case having some of his hair could be useful in future endeavours.
    >> Taffer 05/12/11(Thu)20:11 No.14907000
    I do believe we have a plan
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)20:15 No.14907036
    I guess one option for Blackmoor that doesn't have to do with mind controlling him would be to more or less barter off your services. Seeing as how the nation is at war, and Blackmoor is in some sort of military command position, you could perhaps offer up a zombie squadron to send to the fronts. If that seems too much of a giveaway of our evilness, perhaps you could get him to commission a large order of spider thread under armor for the troops, or a few spider spies to send behind enemy lines? If we can get him loyal to us, we could make one of those telekinetic balls to keep him informed of our wishes.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)20:15 No.14907041
    rolled 56 = 56

    become the mans inner voice..guide his actions from afar..use a spider to watch his every move, and then act as a 'voice from god' telling him what to do...or just drive him insane.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)20:16 No.14907043

    Ok, these spiders are awesome little dudes. With the communication orb recipe we can control this guy from afar. Let's make one for him and one for the witch. With this, it's practical to turn him now.

    All we really need is a soul to bind the deal, and terms for the contract. The latter is easy, the former should be picked carefully, since we really do want the town to keep liking us. Maybe we could use a man from Blackmoor's retinue.

    Let's summon Shaiara, invite her to dinner tonight, and then tell her about our new fabric, and ask her to allow the spiders to measure her so that they can make a suit for her as well. Shaiara will probably want a bodyglove or something similar that can go under clothing, but she can have it in whatever form she wants.

    While the spiders measure her, we can watch through their eyes. A little harmless invasion of privacy never hurt anyone.
    >> anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)20:17 No.14907061

    that does seem the logical step, but i wouldn't want to use up such ingredients without having a full awareness of what they can be used for.

    Even if we can communicate with the fellow it doesn't necessarily mean he will accede to our every whim.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)20:18 No.14907075
    rolled 87 = 87

    I agree, we should keep them out of sight, unless we need to display our power..scaring him will probably only lead to getting our stuff lit on fire.
    >> anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)20:18 No.14907078


    Why do we need the townsfolk to like us again?

    It doesn't strike me as particularly dark overlord-like...
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)20:21 No.14907104
    Manipulation we aren't an overlord yet and our subjects are few (plus it's good to have loyal servants at our power base).
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)20:22 No.14907119
    rolled 41 = 41

    you can't just suddenly be tyrannical, you need to have power first. we need a city, and an army, and most importantly, diplomatic sway before we can start shit..we're powerful, not invincible
    >> Taffer 05/12/11(Thu)20:22 No.14907123
    Because we are smart, and a villian with good publicity finds it easier to lead the sheep to their doom
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)20:23 No.14907138

    Because we want willing slaves. We want them to work gladly for us, for a pittance, because we've treated them better than anyone else. They'll be more enthusiastic about working for us, and will work better, and in the early part of our world domination bid will serve as good PR examples.

    After all, what's more evil? Being a total bastard and having everyone hate you, or being a total bastard and having everyone argue over if you're actually a bastard or not? Stalling legitimate authority is great.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)20:25 No.14907160
    rolled 84 = 84

    exactly, one day this town in bumfuck nowhere will form our elite guard, our most loyal subjects, raised from birth to recognize the power of the emprah.
    >> anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)20:28 No.14907199

    And this blackmoor fellow can help us accomplish an army and political power if we play our cards right.

    I see your point.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/12/11(Thu)20:33 No.14907253
    As you go about your daily routine, you find yourself growing bored. The witch is as subservient as ever, and gladly gives you a piece of her hair when you request it. Your spiders continue to spy on Blackmoor, sneaking about his caravan with glee. They flip through his paperwork when he isn't looking, and check his carriage for anything of interest. They are excellent spies, my lord. Very adept at uncovering secrets.

    In the quiet of your laboratory you craft the orbs from Blackmoor's hair. Slowly melting it into the mixture, the spiders fold and tuck it for you, forming it into a sphere of deepest blue.

    As it cools, you make another one. One for the witch. The hair burns with intense fury as you melt it into the pot, but it seems to work perfectly. Your spiders continue to assist you with forming the sphere, and soon the bright red orb glows with orange light. The two spheres, sitting on your workbench, pulse with feeling. Thoughts. They seem almost alive. As you grasp the orbs in your hand, you reach out and call for the witch. Waiting, she soon arrives dressed in the spider silk dress. Dismissing her, you laugh evilly, and check the time. The assassin should be arriving soon.

    Entering the dinner hall, you sit at the head of the table and wait. The assassin soon arrives, wearing her normal attire. She takes her seat as three tower spiders begin to set the table.
    "So. Big day tomorrow. Blackmoor's coming to town. You want me to take him out or something?"
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)20:37 No.14907305
    Lets test her skills. Have her make an obvious and fake attempt on his life and at the same time have a spider plant the orb within one of his more used possessions.
    >> Taffer 05/12/11(Thu)20:38 No.14907320
    Well, thank you for offering but I believe that will be our Plan C.
    Plan A is to diplomaticize/bribe/a mixture of the two to leave us alone. Plan B is to mind contol him to our service
    >> anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)20:38 No.14907326


    Perhaps we could fake an assassination and make ourselves out to be a hero!

    The silk clothes can stop a knife from penetrating, correct?
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)20:43 No.14907376
    rolled 55 = 55


    that's a fucking stupid idea, he would have us execute her, if not have his own guards kill her, and in addition, the orbs transmit directly to their minds.

    oh yeah, and see if we can use the orbs to read their targets minds, it sounded like we may be able to.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)20:45 No.14907396
    Oh oops I was under the impression it needed to be on his person so nevermind.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)20:51 No.14907448

    "That would be Plan C, if my other techniques prove inadequate. Even were he a total buffoon, he would be missed. The attention from the outside would not be welcome just yet. Still, please do pick out a way of disposing of him quietly, if my other plans fall through."

    Take a sip of wine and then say, "Let's get the business talk out of the way so that we can enjoy our dinner. Could you pick out a member of Blackmoor's retinue who would be most likely to defect from him, and then disable, but not kill, that person? If you wanted help moving the body I could lend you some of the arachnid constructs. They're very capable."

    "I also want to give you a gift: spider-silk armor. It's very light, very comfortable, and very strong. Just allow the spiders to take your measurements, specify what cut you want the armor to have (I would suggest something that can fit under your normal attire, though it's up to you what you ask for), and they will do the rest."
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)20:58 No.14907515

    "And, may I ask the honor of having a lock of your hair?"
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/12/11(Thu)21:03 No.14907566
    "Well, that sounds very nice, and I'm sure it's both lightweight and comfortable. But how exactly will spider silk stop a blade from gutting me? It's not exactly known for its strength."
    Calmly picking up a knife from the table, you turn it towards yourself and jam it into your gut. You hardly feel it as the spider silk absorbs the impact, and the blade is dulled against the fabric. The assassin, jumping at this turn of events, panics for a brief moment before calming as she sees what has happened. Mouthing something in her native tongue, she stares at the knife.
    "That's... that's very impressive. I'll have them fit me after dinner, I suppose."
    You agree to the idea, and as the dinner progresses, you and her discuss the state of the town. Idly treating her as an honored guest, you and her laugh and eat the food before you, as the afternoon stretches into the night. Eventually, you ask her if you might have a lock of her hair. She stutters for a moment, and blushes, before pulling a knife from somewhere in her shirt. Cutting a small bit of hair from her head, she hands you the piece and you accept it graciously. Smiling, she turns away for a moment, before drinking from her glass.

    You hear the sound of a door opening, and turn to investigate. The witch, holding a letter, looks from you to the assassin. And the assassin looks back. Frowning, she spits out the word "You."

    The witch moves towards the door.
    "I'll just leave then."

    "No, please. Stay."
    "I'd rather not."
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)21:07 No.14907611

    "Being a little uncomfortable won't kill you /Mayor/ Mooncraft. Don't leave. Did you have something in mind, Shaiara?"

    Smile at Shaiara and say, "Whatever it is I'd love to see it."
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)21:18 No.14907719
         File1305249538.jpg-(39 KB, 447x335, oh_you.jpg)
    39 KB
    >A little harmless invasion of privacy never hurt anyone.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)21:22 No.14907774
    rolled 5 = 5

    >she wants to bear our magically supercharged children.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)21:23 No.14907780
    you sir must archieve this and set it up as story,also run an irc dungeon,would be fuckin awesome.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)21:29 No.14907846
    Flirt more and prepare for lord whatshisfaces arrival. I mean shit, were going to make him serve us when all is said and done.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/12/11(Thu)21:44 No.14908020
    Shaiara slowly rises from the table, smiling and holding her knife.
    "I'd be more than happy to show you."
    The witch, slowly backing away, moves around the table to the other side. Unable to leave, having been ordered to stay.
    "I'd really rather not see it, if that pleases you sir."
    You drink from your glass and shake your head, as Shaiara moves towards the witch. Replacing the knife in her shirt, she comes within a few feet of the witch.
    "What's the matter? Scared now that you aren't in control?"
    The witch stampers something out, continuing to back away.
    "No, just stay away from me."
    The assassin brushes her hair out of her face, as the witch ceases backing away. Grinning from ear to ear, the assassin moves her hand to the table. And in a flash of movement, grabs the witch by the arm.
    "I'm going to try and not enjoy this too much. But I'm not perfect. I might not have the willpower to control myself. You understand."
    The witch tries to pull away, as the assassin grabs her by the neck.

    Two hours later, and you and the assassin are back in your places at the table. The assassin is happy as a clam, chatting you up about the spiders as hidden weapons. The witch is sitting opposite the assassin, staring at her food. She stopped crying about five minutes ago, and has since reapplied her makeup. It of course occurs to your evil brain that the assassin may have been a bit too cruel, but you disregard that thought. She was entitled to her revenge, however sadistic.

    The tower spiders are clearing away the table, desert long since ended. Taking the witch's full plate, they stare for a moment before returning to the kitchen. The assassin, brushing herself off, stands up from the table.
    "It is getting late, isn't it? I'll leave you to your work and let your spiders fit me for the armor. Thank you, by the way. The meal was delicious."
    She hums and brushes your chair with her hand as she leaves the room. The witch stares at the door.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)21:49 No.14908102
    The witch seems a bit rattled by the torture, perhaps we can order her to forget it happened, or maybe use some magic to wipe that bit away?
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)21:52 No.14908141

    "There, there, Llaira. Take off those rags, and let me have a look. I'll take care of the wounds right away."

    As we tend to her with magic, let's say, "Honestly, imprisoning someone like her was not your best moment."
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)21:53 No.14908171
    Two hours. Well, that's time we're not getting back.

    What was the nature of the torture, if I may ask?

    (If you're intentionally leaving it to our imagination, that's fine.)
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)21:54 No.14908178
    Capitalize on this moment. Drill in to her the benefits of complete loyalty. Not because the contract forces her to, but because SHE wants to. Help her get past this and use it to make her stronger.

    Carefully tend to her wounds yourself, as an act of compassion. Flirt moar.

    >>Dammit i care about the witch waifu
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)21:54 No.14908181

    Or we could comfort her with sweet, sweet lies of how it was all necessary to placate the assassin so that we would be on better terms with her.

    Then again, she's an assassin, and she might be listening from the shadows.

    Also, I had a thought: with the three of us knowing the strength of the spider silk, why not use this to stage an assassination attempt on the Lord when he comes over? Use this doubly as an excuse to solicit our services, put us in the good books, AND make us look the hero?

    Just have either us or the witch proposing a toast for the Lord, and have the assassin attack and hit us, who, if not for our miraculous magical silk robes (we don't have to tell him how we made it), we would have surely perished.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)21:54 No.14908184

    Those two hours made Shaiara a much closer ally.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)21:56 No.14908223

    We talked about that earlier, it serves little purpose in the long run and puts Shaiara at unnecessary risk.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)22:03 No.14908337
    Now that we're past the torture, with Blackmoors arrival just around the corner, perhaps we should tidy up the town a bit? We could send out all but our guard spiders to get cleaning/painting/fixing the town up, maybe even get all Mickey Mouse and enchant some brooms... err I mean, evil brooms. If there's some spell we could cast over it to put the townsfolk into a happy demeanor until Blackmoor leaves, to really convince him that the witch has been turning the town around, and that everything is on the up and up. Also, seeing as how we're going to be coming into the public light a bit, perhaps we should lay down some protective/detection spells around the town, just something to alert you to assassins or other magic users.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)22:04 No.14908365
    OP, you don't always have to fit everything into a single long post. If you split up your posts you can address our stupid requests faster.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)22:05 No.14908370

    Hey let's listen in on the witch's thoughts while we tend to her! Use that orb thingy!
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)22:05 No.14908375

    We should help the witch out, she is our most powerful servant after all. Torture is not good for keeping her that way, and aren't we bound by the contract? Medical wise at least.

    Definitely don't want that breaking on us.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)22:06 No.14908387

    Maybe we could make the town smell good too? Possibly cast something on the fields to cause them to grow real fast, that way we can show Blackmoor that we've improved the quality of life for everyone, as well as the towns economy.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)22:09 No.14908414

    We are bound to provide or pay for medical treatment. Abusing her is within the bounds of the contract as long as we get her medical treatment. I was pretty careful about that.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)22:10 No.14908426
    So then, we definitely should provide or pay for medical treatment.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)22:20 No.14908549
    NO we want our town to look like a shit hole. (so Mr BlackMoor leaves as soon as he can)
    Historical Example: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wise_Men_of_Gotham
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/12/11(Thu)22:21 No.14908564
    You witnesses it yourself, sire. You are already aware of what occurred. In my own opinion, it was expertly done, and in other circumstances could have easily reduced a prisoner to a gibbering mess. But my opinion doesn't matter.

    As the witch holds in her tears, you help her to your quarters to tend to her wounds. Helping her to remove her clothes, you slowly clean and sanitize the cuts, as she lies on her side, facing the window. Calmly and sweetly holding a rather one sided conversation with her, you manage to help her into a more relaxed state as you use what Divine magic you know to heal her wounds. Several times she breaks down crying again, only to be calmed by your voice. As she begins to heal completely, and you lie next to her in the bed, she holds herself against your waist and passes into slumber. Smiling, you push her hair out of her face and leave her be.

    While ordinarily such acts of compassion would make me want to vomit, I of course feel differently regarding your actions, Dark One.

    Yes, dealing with the smelly peasant problem is advisable.

    You and your spiders begin to make you way to the village under cover of darkness. Forming together a plan in your mind, you prepare what spells you need, and as the night becomes completely dark, you cast spells from a nearby hill over the town, while your spiders get to work. Warding spells and alarms weave their way through every corner of the village, as your spiders, quietly chittering away with one another, clean and fix what damages they can find. As you move on to the fields, imbuing them with Divine magic to temporarily boost crop growth, your spiders meet you, the larger ones pulling plows in the pale moonlight, the smaller ones planting seeds.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/12/11(Thu)22:22 No.14908571

    Soon you are finished, and pleased with your work, on your way back to your tower. In the distance, you can see the light from Blackmoor's caravan, still many hours away. Climbing into bed as you reach your quarters, you lie next to Lliara and drift into sleep.

    You stretch yourself out as you awaken. Lliara, half awake, is climbing out of bed. She smiles weakly as she sees you glance her way, and dresses herself. As you leave your bed as well, and begin to dress, you feel her pull herself close to you and kiss you lightly on the cheek. Excusing herself, the witch leaves for the village.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)22:24 No.14908590
         File1305253440.jpg-(81 KB, 683x476, Just_as_planned_tzeentch.jpg)
    81 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)22:24 No.14908593

    Maybe we can make some rather half-assed attempts at making the place look nice, so the Blackmoor gets the wrong impression of us?

    As in, make it look like we're not particularly clever enough to pose a threat, but clever enough for him to maybe think that he can use us?

    After all, we're EVIL. Reverse manipulation is something evil people do. Make him think we're playing in his hands, when in reality, he's in ours.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)22:31 No.14908660
    This,reverse psychology. If he thinks hes controlling us, it works in our favor. If he sees through it, well, there are always alternative ways of controlling someone....
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)22:33 No.14908686
    Aw. She likes us.

    Sadly, that'll make it even more sad when we're inevitably betrayed by her.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)22:34 No.14908697
    I say we betray her first and mind control her into a contract.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)22:34 No.14908700

    Let's review the footage of Shaiara getting fitted, prepare Shaiara's orb (keep most of the lock of hair, it really is a sweet gesture on her part and it'd be a shame to not have for other spells that need hair), prepare a spidersilk cloak as a gift to Blackmoor, and then monitor him with his orb. It is a two-way connection right?
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)22:36 No.14908710

    He's talking about the witch, not the assassin.


    That's Stockholm syndrome taking hold.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)22:38 No.14908726
    If we manage her right, like someone actually competent, she WON'T betray us. Shell have fallen in love and be completely loyal.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)22:38 No.14908732
    Eh. I say she was just Tsundere before.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)22:39 No.14908734

    Uhh. We already did that.

    It's the witch, remember? So I don't think she can really betray us, as a direct consequence of that contract we made.

    Still, can't let our guard down around her. We can behave in such a way as to make it APPEAR as if we dropped our guard, if only to create false moment of weakness for her to play her hand.

    How much time until the Lord arrives? If it's within the day, I say we go and help the peasants in the physical labor, if only for PR purposes. Make ourselves seem friendlier to the citizenry, and look like a natural representative of them to the Lord. You know, the 'natural' leader who still prefers to do the grunt work, stay close with the little people, all that jazz.

    Again, another disarming tactic so the Lord thinks of us as less-threatening.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)22:39 No.14908740
    As long as the contract holds, that's going to be pretty difficult.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)22:40 No.14908747
    we DID mind control her, force her into a contract, allow her to be tortured, and forced her to love us after that

    if the contract is ever nullified... yeah she will kill us

    the assassin is pretty bro so far though

    also those spider things worry me, they seem to be developing a bit too fast
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)22:45 No.14908788
    I'm guessing everyone under our command is going to be given silk clothing, since it's such effective armor. I suggest we weave a kill-switch into each of these. A paralytic, at the very least. This will aid us greatly in the event of a betrayal.

    We should also experiment with the mind-linking orbs. See what we can do with them.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)22:50 No.14908844
    seconded, But after Lord BM leaves.
    Right now focuse on Lord BM
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)22:53 No.14908881
    rolled 61 = 61

    I suggest we command the witch and the assassin to fight to death for our amusement.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)22:54 No.14908896
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)22:55 No.14908907
    We're evil, not stupid.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/12/11(Thu)23:06 No.14909058
    As you eat your breakfast, served to you by your tower spiders, Lliara gives you the daily report, passed on to her by her assistant. Blackmoor is due to arrive in five hours, thus giving you more than enough time to get to the city after experimenting with the orbs. Besides that, the construction of the new tower has begun around your current tower. From the plans, the idea is to build your tower into the larger tower, and then take it apart once the new tower is complete. The materials from the old tower will then be used to build the upper levels of the new tower.

    The mayor finished with her report, she has a small amount of the food served to her by the tower spiders, and takes her leave. Allowing you to experiment with the orbs. Finishing your breakfast, you find your way to your laboratory, looking through a window to watch the workers begin construction on your tower. Grasping the witch's orb, you reach out with your mind. You feel thoughts try to pull away like eels, and mentally grab them out of the pond-like orb for a better look. Examining the thought, you find it to be a daydream about you and her lying in your bed, holding each other. Letting the thought go, it swims away as you grab another one. This time, it involves the work on the tower, and the logistics there in. Things you were already aware of.

    You try to reach out and call to the witch, and feel the pond shift. It has recognized your presence, and new eels appear in the pond. Telling her to get back to her duties, you exit her mind and place the orb back on the counter.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)23:11 No.14909120
    SEE! already shes growing to love us.

    see what the assassin is doing, ready the troops, make look like were palls with the peasant folk, yada yada yada. HURRY UP AND WAIT.

    Lord whatshisface WILL be our servant one way or another.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/12/11(Thu)23:12 No.14909127
    Ordering your spiders to prepare to make another orb, you slowly remove the lock of hair from your pocket. Placing it on the counter, you take a few hairs from it, and replace the rest in the cloth it had been in. As the mixture fizzes and heats, you add the hair, and your spiders assist you in pouring it into the mould. Forming it into a sphere, you allow it to cool by the others, and it takes on a green-ish black shade.

    Taking the now cool orb in your hand, you place it in your robe along with the others, and climb the stairs to ground level. Exiting the tower, and watching your guardian burrow into the ground, you begin riding the spiders towards the village.

    As you approach the village, you hear trumpet sounds. Blackmoor is approaching. As you pass a small house, you feel the spider wave shift to behind it, as Blackmoor rounds the corner, accompanied by his loyal soldiers. Armed with pikes, swords, and crossbows, they wear chainmail and leather under ordinary vassal clothing. Blackmoor exits his carriage, greeted by the witch. As he starts looking around for the mayor, the witch begins speaking inaudible things to him, and he nods. They enter the mayoral mansion.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)23:12 No.14909128
    rolled 95 = 95

    we shouldn't forget to make the assassins orb
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)23:13 No.14909137


    Shall we leave to help prepare the festivities? After all, we want this to *look* perfect. Or rather, sub-par, as to create a false impression for the Lord so that he would likely think us bumbling fools perfect to be left to maintain the city/town.

    On that note, let's try to scry the good Lord, see if we can't figure out his surface thoughts on visiting what is surely a backwater town/city/village thing.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)23:14 No.14909154
    rolled 6 = 6

    Have the spiderhobos woken up yet?

    We won't have time to properly deal with them today, but we can at least see that they're cloistered away and kept fed and happy while we're busy preparing for Lord Blackmoor's "welcome".

    The last thing we need today is a secret experiment gone horribly wrong to make trouble at our party.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)23:14 No.14909158

    Time to learn what Blackmoor wants. Let's poke around in his mind for a bit.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)23:15 No.14909169

    Be careful to not alert him to the intrusion though!
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)23:18 No.14909208
    rolled 100 = 100


    Yeah, I doubt he'll be very amicable to deal with if he knows we've been dicking around in his head. Be subtle about it, if he has wards against this sort of thing, pull out.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)23:31 No.14909361
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)23:37 No.14909416
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)23:38 No.14909429

    He's probably writing.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/12/11(Thu)23:41 No.14909465
    Hiding in the shadows behind the house, you pull the orb from your robe. The spiders find their way out from under you, and form a perimeter, organizing themselves in a very efficient manner. As you activate the orb, feeling it beat with ideas, you push into it with your mind, and feel the pond fill with thoughts. Watching them swim, you grab the one moving the most quickly. This time, it's in the form of sound, rather than images.
    "Gods this is fucking horrible. These people are lucky I don't raze the town. But I need to check on my holdings. Fuck. I wish I could just stay in the field, killing people. Or stay in my castle and cheat on my wife, hahaha. At least the mayor's daughter is hot as hell. I wonder if she takes it-"
    You let go of the eel, and grab at another one. It feels like a memory, a memory he's recalling. He's in a battle, stabbing someone. Turning around, he sees a bolt of energy hit the rocks behind him. Someone yells 'for Picardwall' and he turns back towards the front lines. Some more fighting.

    Replacing the orb in your pocket, you glance around the corner at the soldiers. They're leaning on buildings and some of them are smoking. One, obviously the captain by the markings on his plate armor, is talking with another soldier, a crossbowman. The commoners walk by, trying not to stare, but a few of them are tripped by the soldiers, probably as a joke.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)23:46 No.14909517


    Well, we can use this Picardwall thing to our advantage.

    They were the ones who unleashed the zombies in the first place, right?

    Well, who's to say that they didn't release more of them, or, perhaps, spider-soldiers?

    Who, perhaps, in full view of the townspeople, wiped out the Lord's entourage, and nearly killed the Lord himself, if it was not for the intervention of the local wizard-in-training?

    We can test our experiments AND get close to the Lord! No living witnesses (of reputable nature) would exist that could explain/question the fact that the Lord suddenly has a wizard adviser, right?
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/12/11(Thu)23:46 No.14909521
    The spidermen you engineered, Dark One, have not yet awoken. Some of them have seemed to begin to awake, but they simply drift back into their coma. Their muscles have become far more dense, and when you broke one of their fingers it healed within a few hours.
    Checking on the assassin via the orb, you find yourself staring at a far more empty pond. Only two eels swim through it, and as you grasp one, you see Blackmoor through an open window. Looking at what surrounds the window, you trace the assassin back to the roof of a building across the road. She has a crossbow nearby, but it is not loaded. She seems to be merely scouting him out.

    Examining the other thought, you find lewd thoughts of yourself. I'm sorry you had to see that, sire. I'm sure it must have been traumatic.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)23:50 No.14909561
    Say, could we make one of those orbs, bound to one of the spidermen, and use that to force them awake?
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)23:51 No.14909568
    Hmmmm, if we play our cards right, we just might be able to make a harem.

    But enough of that, time to put things in motion. Let us meet LB
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)23:51 No.14909569
    Dammit, we need those spidermen online ASAP!

    Maybe if we poured Magewater on them...
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)23:54 No.14909597

    Alright, she's a keeper.

    Anyway we're all agreed on sticking to Plan A right? We want to make friends with Blackmoor, though he seems an utter boorish pig, and make the most of his connections without taking his mind over right now. Micromanaging a guy like him would get old fast.

    Order the witch to flirt with him a bit, it won't hurt to have him thinking less straight.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)23:56 No.14909623

    What for? We're not even sure of their full capabilities yet. We should be cautious.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)23:58 No.14909650
    Ok, now this is going to be interesting. Now, we can read Blackmoor's thoughts, and tell the witch AND assassin to do things. So, the witch lets us manipulate Blackmoor, and the assassin gives us an out if we mess up by faking an assassination plot.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)00:00 No.14909676

    The assassin doesn't know we can read her mind, nor that we can send her messages. We should reserve using that ability for an extreme emergency only.

    Also, killing Blackmoor was Plan C. Plan B was to perform a dark contract with him using pie.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)00:06 No.14909741
    Im on a Wii so this post is a pain to make but +1 to the 'not let assassin know about the crystals' idea
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/13/11(Fri)00:17 No.14909859
    Again replacing the orb in your pocket, you pull out the witch's orb and activate it. Checking her thoughts for abnormalities, you send a mental message, instructing her to 'flirt' with the lord, as it were. Subtly, of course. Her mind shifts with acknowledgment, and you somehow feel her change her posture. Peering around the bend again, as you replace the orb in your pocket, you watch the soldiers continue to slack off in their duty to protect the lord. Hardly even glancing at several people that enter the mansion, they busily smoke their pipes and joke around. Idiots. If I were that lord, I'd have them all flogged, sire.

    You wait patiently behind the upper class house for the next few hours. Nothing happens, so far as assassination attempts on the lord's life, but on the diplomatic front, the lord seems more than pleased with the witch's report on the town. Of course, from reading his mind you can plainly see that his only interest is the witch herself, and for her part, she flirts with him admirably. Neither too strong, nor not strong enough.

    Finally, with the sun high in the afternoon sky, you spot one of the soldiers leaving his group. He enters the building through the front door, and watching through the assassin's eyes, you see him enter the room the lord is in some time later. Walking up to him as if to give him a report, he draws his sword, and for his troubles receives a crossbow bolt in the brain.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)00:19 No.14909894
    Shit, did our assassin just kill another would-be assassin?

    We should take all the credit!
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)00:20 No.14909908

    Plan A time? Plan A time.

    Alright, let's go over there and introduce ourselves. We need to create the image that we think ourselves important - and, ambitious, if not short-sighted.

    This might mean making a bit of a fool of ourselves - you know, throwing around a bit of "party magic" that doesn't quite work properly (or would appear not to), making it look like we don't quite respect the proper mayor of the town, and that we only respect the Lord because he holds power.

    That, OR we go the other route, where we make ourselves look like some bloke who wants to move up in life and is desperate to make himself look useful. Something non-threatening, yet obvious henchman material.

    Not quite sure how we can get ourselves in an adviser position without making ourselves look suspicious. Also, we're only 18; barely a man. Not sure if he'd even entertain the thought of us as an adviser or something other than a lackey.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)00:23 No.14909945

    I thought Plan A involved us being a very bright merchant out to make a name for himself in the textile industry.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)00:29 No.14910028
    /tg/ loading slow for anybody else?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)00:39 No.14910157

    I'm having difficulty connecting to many sites, not just 4chan. Something's up with the networks, probably related to all the flooding and bullshit.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)00:43 No.14910199

    Is that plan A?

    Well, that works too, I suppose.

    Would increase our income a bit and make our "dabbling in magic" seem sense (young guy with loads of money to burn).
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/13/11(Fri)01:00 No.14910377
    My apologies for the lack of replies, Dark One. Technical difficulties.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)01:01 No.14910385
    Hit yourself.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)01:02 No.14910394
    All good, hopefully not too serious?
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/13/11(Fri)01:03 No.14910410
    No, in fact my posting rate should most likely increase now.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)01:06 No.14910437
    I wish i could say the same for mine. So much lag.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)01:09 No.14910472
    Might help if you write it all out in notepad first.

    That way, if 4chan eats your post, you don't need to retype it all.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/13/11(Fri)01:15 No.14910522
    Seeing this sudden turn of events, you feel a sudden urgency in putting your evil plan into motion. Exiting your hideaway, you approach the mansion slowly, walking calmly and properly, like a gentleman. All while the soldiers go running inside, hearing the shouts for help. By the time you reach the front door, the soldiers have fanned out and begun searching the perimeter, with you estimate twenty of them on the inside, and ten patrolling the outside. Smiling, you inform a soldier that you are here to see the mayor, and using your orb behind your back, inform the witch to confirm your story.

    One of the soldiers leave to confirm your story, returning soon after. Ordering that you come inside, you comply, unacceptable as someone ordering you to do anything may be. He leads you to the mayor's office, where you find the lord out of breath, and the mayor pretending to be. Smiling, you walk past the guard and stand before them. The witch, looking in your direction, waves towards you.
    "This is the young entrepreneur I was talking about, Charles. He's been tying up much of the town's population working at his new textiles factory. It made this dress, in fact."
    The lord nods his head, looking up from Lliara's breasts to your face.
    "Well that's just grand, but it's not as if any kind of clothing could protect me from assassination. Unless you also make armor."
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)01:18 No.14910544

    That's like a big, CUE FAUX ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT right there.

    Sadly, we never told our lovely little assassin of the plan to stage one, did we?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)01:18 No.14910549
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)01:19 No.14910555
    I think we did, but we can't really call it on right now, without letting her know we've got the orbs.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)01:23 No.14910586

    "A pleasure to meet you, your lordship. The clothing itself is the armor. The fibers are stronger than steel, and much more comfortable. Here, I have a cloak I intended to give to you as a gift, since I sadly did not have your measurements."

    Hand over the cloak we had made, and then say, "I had my bodyguard performing overwatch duty. I believe she's the one who stopped the traitor a few moments ago. However, had you had this, she could have stayed her bolt and we'd have had a live traitor for you to interrogate."

    Cough, and then say, "Well, that is neither here nor there. Allow me to demonstrate the strength of the material."

    And then stab yourself for show, like last night.
    >> Taffer 05/13/11(Fri)01:26 No.14910625
    Say that we are woking on something that should protct aginst stabs and bladed weapons but we need more investment. Might want to demonstrate our shirt and say that it took a ong time (two months?) to produce even one shirt like this. If he could invest in us, then surely it will be a profitable partnership.

    For only one of us. Do not say this last bit.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)01:28 No.14910642
    I suggest one day of each month be the spiders day off, where we throw party to show the spidies how much we love em.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)01:29 No.14910653

    To clarify we can make individual items right now with enough notice, but to mass produce anything we would need investment. We had hoped to be able to start up in this little village; we like it here, and the new mayor is quite a nice person to have encouraged us so far.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)01:30 No.14910664

    I'm starting to get a "Scutter" vibe from the spiders, like the little robots in Red Dwarf.

    I bet they'd like John Wayne movies. Alas, if only John Wayne existed here.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)01:31 No.14910683

    Or we can have Lliara do that.

    After all, from a business perspective, wouldn't it be better to have the acquaintance do the initial marketing?

    Then, of course, after she says it's super-fantastically-awesome, we go in with the technical-term heavy sales pitch that will hopefully go over his head.

    Just need to say the crafting process is done in circumstances that necessitate a long-ass time of preparation if someone unauthorized wants to watch. Like, it's mostly done in the dark in a magically sealed room to prevent contaminants from polluting the purity of the spider thread, and that the spiders themselves are very jumpy and are only handled by us.

    And for the test, we can have Lliara stab us. It would demonstrate not only our confidence as a creator, but her's as a consumer. A bit like how your friend might show off some new technical do-dad to get you to buy one for yourself, really.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)01:34 No.14910715

    "Now Lliara, when you stab me to demonstrate the cloth's strength, be sure you hit the cloth. Ready? Go!"
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)01:39 No.14910768
    Is this archived yet?
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/13/11(Fri)01:43 No.14910799
    As you explain the amazing properties of the spider silk fabric, he looks at you skeptically, obviously not buying it. Then, you pull out a knife and stab yourself in the arm. The robe and undershirt absorbing the impact, it only feels like a small poke, as you press with all your might against your arm. The lord looks at it amazed, and speaks up.
    "That's very impressive... how on earth did you make it?"
    Smiling, you go into the technical details of the silk, talking about energy dispersal and tensile strength with a smile on your face. It is obvious from his nodding that he understands absolutely nothing you say, but the fact that he doesn't interrupt shows he's interested. You finish your little speech, and Lliara sighs.
    "You always were so technical. All you need to know, Charles, is that it's expensive and time consuming, but worth the price. Poison darts and... crossbow bolts need not be a concern with this fabric."
    "Wait, how expensive, exactly?"
    "Not so much as you couldn't afford it. But I prefer to think that no price is too high for a good night's sleep, don't you?"
    Perhaps only partially understanding her innuendo, he looks at your robe and agrees.
    "Yes, of course. I'd of course be very interesting in investing. Name your price, my young friend."
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)01:48 No.14910847
    We want a price that is moderately high but still strikes the lord as well worth it. We can move up to extortion after he's hooked on our products.

    Ask him how much cloth he wants.
    >> Taffer 05/13/11(Fri)01:48 No.14910850
    I have no idea what to ask for. Perhaps Lliara can assist us?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)01:49 No.14910859

    What's the price of a quality suit of armor? For a full suit or cloak, double that.

    And promise that once the mass production lines are set up you'd be able to bring the price down. Perhaps even low enough that it would be economical to outfit an army in the far superior armor.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)01:51 No.14910867

    (Cost of materials to produce + cost of materials to crate one generic spider golem) x 3

    That way we can scale our operations up while simultaneously increasing our spider army!

    And considering that he's probably going to only outfit his officers first, we should think about making them look a bit more decorative. You know, dye the threads this color and that, add some nice shiny buttons, that sort of thing.

    Speaking of which, what are the costs of the building materials for the spiders and enough silk to produce a full suit (shirt+pants) of silk-armor? And how much does it cost to outfit a standard grunt, as well as an officer? We don't want to name some ridiculous price, after all.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)01:52 No.14910877
    Just a small thing, something you'll never miss.
    Your soul.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)01:52 No.14910887

    You know, we can probably just check his mind with our orb for the figures he has in mind.

    Pick the highest figure he'd still pay out for.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)01:53 No.14910891

    Oh, speaking of increasing the price. Once he inevitably wins in the field (thanks to our armor, hopefully), he'll probably go back to the big place with all the nobles, where guess what he'll showcase?

    That's right, our silk robes.

    We need to find ways to make them better. Colors, lining with fur, etc. Something for the wealthy as well. After all, if it's a high-end product, it needs to look the part as well.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)01:54 No.14910907

    The best part is he's probably a very average specimen of nobleman, in terms of the size of his wallet. Whatever figure he has in his head is probably something that most, or all, of them would pay.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/13/11(Fri)02:02 No.14910985
    You pretend to think for a moment, as if trying to find a fair price. Turning your attention back to the lord, you ask how much cloth he wants.
    "Well, let me think. I can't exactly go naked, so a full suit would be excellent. And then I'd need, uh... let's say roughly ten suits, of a type we can determine later. Oh, and of course suits for my officers. Such things would do wonders in the field of battle. Have you given any thought to selling your fabric for battlefield use?"
    You cannot deny that the thought had crossed your mind, but sadly, the production costs are currently too high to make such a thing practical. But with his continued investment, the costs could easily be lowered.
    "Ah, wonderful my lad, wonderful. Now, the suits I ordered need of course befit a man of my station. Something like yours, but a bit more, shall we say, upper class. You understand?"
    Of course you understand, and would be more than happy to provide such clothing. You name your price after a few seconds of faux deliberation.
    "That seems more than fair for such a wondrous material. Oh, and when might I expect it to be finished?"
    Again pretending to be thinking, you give him a rough estimate of five to six days for the combat suits, and another week for the 'fancy' suits. He'll need to see the town tailor to be measured, as will his officers.
    "Of course, my boy, of course. I'll get right to that. I'm sure that many of my, ahem, friends, will come right to your doorstep soon enough, looking to buy some of the same."
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)02:05 No.14911017

    Let's ask him what sorts of diversions they'd enjoy while they're here. After all, we'd like to make him and his friends feel welcome.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)02:08 No.14911032

    Are we going to feed them pie? Magical, or non-magical?

    I do think we should hold off on the magically soul-binding contract until the very last moment.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)02:10 No.14911048
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)02:10 No.14911056
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)02:11 No.14911062
    beat me to it....
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)02:14 No.14911085
         File1305267251.jpg-(155 KB, 413x500, BECAUSE.jpg)
    155 KB
    Couldn't resist.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)02:14 No.14911093
    Congrats, you guys just responded to Babby's First Troll
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)02:15 No.14911095

    The most important ones, sure, but we want to keep that to a minimum. Shit like that has a way of biting you in the ass. What we want is to become powerful enough conventionally that our forces and a few hand-picked subverted noblemen can overthrow the government with a minimum loss of peasants. It just makes no sense at all to waste them in a protracted war, they're more valuable producing wealth.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)02:15 No.14911098
    Musnt forget to hide kill switches in the suits of all but the most trusted subordinates, and maybe even then.....
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)02:25 No.14911186

    We should ask him if he has any advice about people to not sell to. People who, while nominally loyal to the state, are perhaps not what they seem.

    And we should be using his orb when we ask it, so we can see what he thinks.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)02:31 No.14911227
    but we can't check the orb infront of him.

    We could ask Lliara to ask it after we leave.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)02:31 No.14911228
    preferably something involving them bursting into flames or secretes acid all over them, because, you know, we're evil like that.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/13/11(Fri)02:34 No.14911263
    My apologies, oh evil one, but I'm afraid that I must end this here. It seems that other things require my attention. I shall of course, continue tomorrow, at the same time.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)02:35 No.14911268

    Or we weave a special kind of spider into the clothes. That, when activated, will constrict and kill him. Or just inject a neurotoxin into him and kill him.

    Then it will consume his body and replicate more spiders from his bones.

    And we can easily hide the spider by passing it off as a simple design of the clothing. Make it look all fancy and whatnot.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)02:38 No.14911281
    or poison thats magically encapsulated (or made safe some way) till we speak a power word (or something)

    Maybe we can make it so it rubs of so it infect any one who touches it, and it stays there
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)03:23 No.14911669

    Looking forward to it.
    >> Alpharius 05/13/11(Fri)03:25 No.14911682
         File1305271535.jpg-(72 KB, 600x750, EVIL.jpg)
    72 KB
    BAD IDEA on the infect anyone it touches thing. that could get out of control QUICK.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)03:31 No.14911737
    but thats the point, we would be the only ones with the antidote.
    (also the ones with the power word to kill the them)
    >> Alpharius 05/13/11(Fri)03:36 No.14911773
    ah. but how would we keep track of all who got infected?
    like I said. contact poisons have WAY to much colateral damage.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)03:43 No.14911794
    Perhaps leave a magical "tag" that we can look for, or make the disenchanting process only effect a particular individual person.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)04:27 No.14912027
    Has this been archived yet?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/11(Fri)04:42 No.14912114

    Has been for awhile: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/14904666/

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