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  • File : 1304932850.png-(175 KB, 500x271, rogue-trader-logo-lg.png)
    175 KB Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)05:20 No.14865918  

    Its been a while Since I've seen one so, Rogue Trader General!

    Feel free to post and share the Stories of you time playing/GM'ing this great time, And all the adventures you have had Amongst the Stars of the Koronus Expanse.

    To get the ball rolling I'll dump the background of my current groups flagship, plus the original message from the Tech-Priest to try and get the players into the Spirit of the Game.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)05:21 No.14865920
    Part One:

    The 'Astra Imperator' is a Ship of great age and experience, constructed during a golden age of the

    Imperium as the Personal Vessel of Admiral Nathin Sarvus, and was completed just a few Decades

    Prior to the Beginning of the Horus Heresy. The Admiral funded great portions of the Ship's

    Construction with his own personal fortune, as well as the addition of powerful Archeotech

    Componants from humanities Dark Age of Technology that the Admiral had encountered and hoarded

    in his service to The Imperium during the Emperors Great Crusades.

    However, with the beginning of the Horus Heresy and the battle between the Various space marine

    Chapters, Admiral Sarvus fell in with the forces of Chaos. Pledging his fleet to Warmaster Horus in

    their Battles against the Imperium. however "Tristan Aphesius" First Officer aboard the 'Astra

    Imperator' was not swayed to his Admirals cause, instead leading a mutiny and purging his new Ship

    of those now aligned with Chaos, before fighting his way from the fleet, Managing to Destroy one of

    the Chaos vessles and cripple a further two of the Chaos Ships before fleeing to The Warp.

    For these Deeds, as well as "Heroic and stalwart actions, worthy of the Emperor's name" Tristan

    Aphesius was rewarded with A Warrant of Trade by the High Lords of Terra, allowing him all the

    privileges of the rank of "Rogue Trader" in recompense for his Great deeds in the Name of the

    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)05:21 No.14865927
    Part Two:

    The 'Astra Imperator' fell into disuse in the 38th Millennium, crippled beyond hope of traveling any

    distance for repairs after a Fierce fight with a small Pirate Fleet. The rogue trader in Command at the

    time "Arthanil Apheseus" ordered The ship to be landed on the nearest planet, a uncolonized Primitive

    world that had yet to have much real contact with the Imperium. It was not untill two Centuries into

    the 40th Millenium, more than 2000 years later that Descendants of Tristan Aphesius, still acting

    under the Blessing of His original Warrant of Trade returned to the planet with the means and intent

    of repairing and Re-launching the Ship. Hoping to use it to Save the Dynasty from its slow decline and

    Eventual collapse, spending most of His great wealth the repair and refit his great ancestors signature

    vessel so that It could once again make the House of Aphesius renown among the stars of the

    Koronus Expanse.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)05:22 No.14865938
    Tech Priest Letter - Part One:

    Lord Captain,

    "Thus do we invoke the Machine God. Thus do we make whole that which was sundered."

    The Hymn of reforging has been prepared and performed, and I am very pleased to report that the

    Machine Spirit has been appeased, and the Warp drives are once again operating at peak efficiency.

    You may inform the Warp Guide that the Omnissiah Is pleased and once more grants this ancient

    vessel the ability to travel through the Immaterium.

    As for the state of the hull, I'm not sure if there is much we, Indeed anyone in this sector could do.

    Even with the great forges of Mars herself at my disposal I doubt I could undo two millennia of

    neglect, and a further eight millennium of devout service before that. We must accept that the ship is

    now operating at peak efficiency, and, as much as it pains me to say it, We will never achieve the

    level of operational capacity that the 'Astra Imperator' Had in the days whe-


    Which Leads me Into the Information you Wanted regarding the Archeotech Components we have

    discovered Installed on the Ship:
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)05:23 No.14865944

    Part Two:
    Plasma Drive (Jovian Pattern “Warcruiser” Model): 112% Efficiency – Never before have I seen Engines

    of this power or efficiency, they should be Able to Easily Propel the Astra at more than a 9% increased

    top speed, Perhaps more if the Machine Spirit can be Coerced to the Cause.

    Void Shield: (Castallan Array): This technology is simply a Marvel, I'm sure the Mago's on Mars would

    give up a Titan Legion to Acquire such a device. The Arrays and projectors are arranged in Such a

    manner it would be possible to Double the Sheilding capacity for short Periods of Time, With the

    Machine Spirits blessing and the proper Rituals of Course.

    Bridge: The ships Command Center is truly one of antiquity, the Cogitators are advanced far beyond

    anything I have studied or Even Imagined possible. Whilst Commanding from the Bridge any orders

    you Give will be processed much faster, and to add to this, there appears to be some strange

    Connection between the Bridge control panels and the Maneuvering Thrusters, allowing faster

    processing of orders and more calculated burns. I cannot express just how much this adds to the

    overall Maneuverability of the Ship.

    I am Frankly Amazed +TRANSMISSION CORRUPTED – FRAGMENT LOST+ and should be considered a

    prize in itself, worth the riches of many Lifetimes.

    “To break with ritual is to break with faith.”
    Enginseer Prime Lucius Macharius of the 'Astra Imperator'
    ++End Transmission++

    That's all from me for now, Although if you get me Interested enough I might be bothered to actually write out some more.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)05:29 No.14865981
    Wow, I wish my GM put this much effort into our Games. He kinda just sits there and glares at US if we don't know the canon Backwards, forwards and Inside out.

    Anyway, enough Griping. I really enjoyed the backstory and character you gave to the ship, although from the look of that report isn't the thing bloody overpowered against anything its size or smaller?
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)05:34 No.14866011
    One of the most Enjoyable PnP that I've played in a while. Our gm ran a one shot in between DnD Campaigns and everyone had a metric shit-ton of fun, we've been pestering him to run it again ever since.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)05:34 No.14866016

    What class of ship was it OP?

    Because if you gave them a Cruiser as the Starting ship you just went full retard
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)05:36 No.14866030
    >>Implying there is a 'right' way to play Rogue Trader
    >>Implying the ST can't do whatever the fuck he wants.
    >>Implying that there aren't plenty of ways to make a cruiser, even a tricked-out one with an Astartes escort, shit a brick (Hint: Bust out BFG)
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)05:39 No.14866050

    Nah, mildly changed Dauntless Light cruiser.


    I agree, If my PC's wanna go around in a transport that shits Lance broadsides I'll let them as long as the give me a fucking good Roleplay of it and make me Laugh
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)05:44 No.14866082

    I always love hearing about the shit people come Up with when they play this.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)05:49 No.14866114
    One sec. I'm gonna try and find the stoy of my group I wrote up.

    Keep the thread alive for a Bit
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)05:50 No.14866117
    lol, perhaps Shas'O R'myr will come along and have some storytime. For my group, not much to report; our 'fleet' is a Star Clipper and an Iconoclast, and we are currently fighting the beginnings of a chaos invasion, while trying to stay friendly with the RT's old dynasty and their Golden-Age era battlecruiser, and their expectations of being compensated for birthing her. The whole thing creates an...interesting dynamic.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)05:52 No.14866128
    My group had a cruiser stuffed to the gills with macro cannons and lances named the Bruce Willis then another ship that was an ex-IG transport ship to haul all the group's loot. The group wasn't very good at naming things.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)05:54 No.14866137
    For some simple background on the group, we begin this green as spring grass to it all and mildly unprepared. To begin with I was designated GM and decided to start with the introduction campaign found in the back of the Core rulebook.
    the cast are as follows:

    Tristan Aphesius: Rogue Trader played as the true master of the art of Blather.

    Chuck Carter: Arch-Militant, played by our most reluctant roleplayer with ridiculous stat rolls, often called 'Beefcake McGee PhD" dude to his insane strength and Intelligence. Wielder of the mighty hereditary chain-sword "Gregory XXVIII"

    Sarvus Godwinne: a Sycophant and Incompetent, the 'Navigator' of the ship, better known as the murderer of hundreds in missed shots.

    Lucius Mecharius, the trigger happy Explorator with a binary cortex induced psychosis and several extra mechadendrites bristling with Guns
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)05:55 No.14866139
    this is how I Rogue Trader.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)05:59 No.14866157
    To elucidate on our group, our DELICIOUS HERESY group...

    Rogue Trader: A death worlder from an ancient-ass RT dynasty founded shortly after the Great Crusade, she was captured by another RT who was an out and out pirate and enslaved, fled onto a space hulk to get the fuck away, and found that one of the ships in the hulk was an RT cruiser...complete with intact (New, made out to 'bearer') warrant. This created...frustrations with her former dynasty when she turned out to be reluctant to play ball.

    Seneschal: A former Slaanesh cultist who figured out he was going to become a daemonhost, said 'fuck that', and busted free with his two kids. Still not the most restrained soul, but he has a mad hate-on for chaos that would make a Redemptionist proud.

    Voidmaster: Captain of the Icono, a mutant and former slave who led a slave revolt and rescued the ship from a space hulk that turned out to be entirely made out of detritus from the Gothic War. Much pants-shittery ensued when it turned out to be a former Tzeentch ship, and had to be cleansed to the bones.

    Ork: A 'ded kunnin' ork separated from his ship and krew in a tellyporta accident, he works for the group as a mercenary while looking for his old ship and krew, or failing that, a new one. One of the smartest orks you'll ever meet, this gets played with in hilarious ways, given that he is a warboss and not a mek.

    Yeah, we are just lucky to not have attracted the Inquisition...yet. Names withheld to protect the guilty.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)05:59 No.14866162
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    >Hymn To Red October
    dat song
    It's to Rogue Trader as what the Riddle of Steel is to DnD.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:01 No.14866169

    Now, for those who don't know, the introductory Endeavour starts with the crew meeting with a servant of the rogue trader dynasty, Orbest Drey, who tells them a tale of the treasure ship the "Righteous Path" and gives them a map to the system it was located. This meeting takes place within a crowded market on Port Wander. As Orbest leaves, several men and a woman,all armed, emerge from the crowd and approach the crew.

    Lucius Immediatly decides to flip his shit and opens fire on them with a shoulder mounted hellgun, Gunskull Laspistil and Slug Pistol on his Mechadendrite. Missing with everything barring the gunskull and beginning our alarming tenancy towards collateral Damage. This is all of course Despite them making no aggressive actions, not even drawing their weapons. Anyway, he hits, but only poorly, this results in the drawing and firing of several shots from both sides before Tristan get's it together and calls for a ceasefire, Beginning another trend of stupidly low Blather rolls and not much else.

    The woman, leader of the group warily calls off her men and approaches Tristan, who was busy chastising Lucius for his itchy fingers (He of course blames it all on his Binary Cortex), and introduces herself as lady Ash, in the employ of the rogue trader Hadarak Fel, saying that she was simply curious what such a high profile man as himself would want in port wander and what Orbest Drey could possibly have to give him. Tristan proceeds to roll a 98 on a charm test to pull her away from the subject and when she decides to press the matter also freaks out, he does the only logical thing, uses his quick-draw talent to pull his plasma pistol and uses semi auto burst.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:01 No.14866172

    he rolls a 10, so he hits her with both rounds, in the face,
    he then proceeds to roll twin 9's, with a total damage more than enough to put her to 10 critical wounds. At this point i was almost stunned, as the book itself basically had neon lights telling me to not let this Woman die, whatever the fuck happened, so proceeding with the only real course of action I told the group how her now headless and flaming corpse went running off into the gathered crowd, setting fire to several buildings, and killing hundreds in the end(Glaring at them as I did So).
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:01 No.14866173
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    >>Your group consists of a chaos cultist, an ork, and a mutant, plus the RT.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:03 No.14866180
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    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:05 No.14866190

    Battle naturally ensues, and is fairly unremarkable, apart from Sarvus managing to miss by at least 2 degrees of success each time, with a melta-pistol.
    After Chuck mops up what's left of Hadaraks men with his chainsword, a member of the Arbites comes running at the group, screaming at them to stop what they are doing, drop their weapons and surrender themselves for judgment, that is until Tristan opens his mouth, rolls a series of 7's, 8's and 11's to blather managing to confuse the poor cop then convince him that Hadaraks men had not only fired first, but had planted the several hundred witnesses to claim that Tristan and Co. were the aggressors, And this was not the only time Tristan ability to blather would come in so stupidly Handy.

    Taking advantage of the confusion, they hightail it back to their ship the Astra Imperator and quickly get out and make a 'quick' warp jump. Sarvus quickly estimates it will be a matter of but 2 hours before they are back in real space, but instead, due to yet another ass backwardly poor roll, they spend 2 weeks trapped in the warp before they drop out into a normal looking system that happened to have an imperial fleet passing through, docked for repairs and stripping the local Asteroids. Deciding it was the wisest course of action, our intrepid crew approach the fleet and hail the flagship, requesting to speak with it's captain.
    Captain Francesco the 3rd of his name, grandson of one of the greatest pilots ever known to the Imperium answers, politely yet bluntly asking why this damned rogue trader interrupts his sleep.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:06 No.14866194
    Last session my players, after having half their light cruiser's hull and most of their crew obliterated by lance fire, rammed their vessel into the offending Eldar Dragonship, crippling it.

    I'm so proud of them.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:08 No.14866201

    How is this a derail? 'Tis a rouge Trader Storytiem.

    Tristan launches into a speech about how he is tracking a band of pirates, led by a man named Hadarak Fel, and if he had seen him.
    Francesco orders the Macrocannon and Lance batteries of the Entire fleet to lock onto the Astra Imperator, see Francesco happens to be a close, personal friend of a certain rogue trader, who also goes by that name and that Tristan should be careful with his next words.

    Aphesius's brilliance and luck shines once again as Tristan tells a tale of a pirate mascaraing as Hadarak Fel, and that they are The rightful servants of the Imperium sent to Hunt him down.
    he then rolls a 1.

    And boy way my face priceless at that point. I had hoped to get back at these guys for fucking around with the carefully pre-written railroaded adventure, but Nope.jpg
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:11 No.14866212
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    My group has learned that 'redshirts' are replaceable, expendable, and extremely useful recently, after acquiring a teleport homer and a teleportarium, they promptly began using it to port down press-gangers in packs of 10, and using them as trap detectors/disarmers, meat shields, spare guns, suicide bombers, and in one memorable case, human bridges. I think the one-shot 'jungle treasure hunt' adventure I ran for them, ripped straight out of Temple of Doom, ended up with them casually killing off close to a hundred red shirts, and barely a single wound on their part. Their next plan is to find a hive world with a crime problem and offer their (Expensive) services to help clean out their jails. Their ship is swiftly becoming a mix between the Enterprise and SuperJail. Pic related.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:12 No.14866216
    A derail of the campaign, not of the thread. Please, continue.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:12 No.14866217
    He was saying the players derailed.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:12 No.14866220
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    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:12 No.14866222
    How's their Morale level going? I don't imagine that the rest of the crew would be pleased if they found out that their chums were being used for arrow fodder.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:12 No.14866223
    Francisco immediately takes back his orders to target the Astra Imperator and declares that he is willing to aid them in their hunt for this impostor claiming his friends name, just name what they need to hunt down this blight upon his freind and he will gladly give it.

    Tristan decides not to push his luck and only asks 3 things, How long ago did the pirate pass through The system? Could they get some help in Deciphering the map that Orbest Dray had given them, and could he have 2,000 imperial guardsmen plus officers to help them in their hunt for this criminal? Naturally Francisco is more than happy to oblige them in this and supplies them with the coordiantes, the men and the fact that a man claiming to be his Freind Hadarak Fel had passed by the planet not three days past.

    Pleased with the acquisition, The crew turn down more offers for help and quickly make the warp jump as soon as they can, and make good time. It is now I decide to spice things up, try to get a little bit even with my player for so very soundly screwing with the Adventure. During the journey through the warp, the gellar fields flicker and shadows begin to coalesce on the bridge, as a warp daemon begins to form, I kindly gives (And horribly Naively) give them a turn for it to fully form, allowing them to prepare and roll Initiative. Chuck rolls the highest initiative and goes first, charging the still forming daemon, striking it, and then we go to roll damage...

    Righteousf ury, he confirms and then rolls a another, and then a 9, this combined with his high strength and best quality Anscestral chain-sword manage to kill this daemon.

    with a single blow.

    Fucking hell.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:14 No.14866228
    They're using press gangers and not the actual crew to do it, and bribing the voidsmen with bread and circuses. Cuts into their profits, but keeps the important people happy.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:17 No.14866238
    Good thinking. As long as you keep the Us vs Them mentality going (and ensure you never have an uncontrollable number of press ganged men aboard) you should be fine. Unless something entirely unexpected happens, allowing the underdeck scum to rise up in a furious mutiny. But what are the chances of that happening?
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:19 No.14866250
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    (I'm the GM for this game, btw)
    >Unless something entirely unexpected happens, allowing the underdeck scum to rise up in a furious mutiny. But what are the chances of that happening?
    Oh...none at all. None...at all...As long as they keep their sociopathic antics amusing, that is. I admit, some of the shit they got up to during that little adventure had me rolling.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:20 No.14866254

    Ah yes, that makes much more Sense. Please accept a Derp on my part.

    Suffice to say that we were all pretty dumbstruck at this, and several minutes later when our jaws were off the floor (And chuck had stopped grinning like a Retard) we moved on and dropped into real-space, when my still stupidly grinning players heard a cracked up transmission coming from an apparently damaged missionary ship. Of course, their first reaction was the Scream TYRANIDS and hit it with everything they had, just to be safe. This was followed by two minute guilt trip and I patiently described in detail the dying screams of thousands of Refugees. And then told them of the 2 raiders that had come out from Silent running behind some debris, and were throughly pissed we had just blown up their Bait.
    Winning Initiative the Fired, and...

    Missed almost totally, barely scratching them. This is also when the running joke "broadside the engines" became standard. They hit the first raider in the Warp Drive and critical'd, causing it to blow itself up,with enough force to almost destroy the other raider as well, Setting a large portion of it on fire which promply wiped it out as well a few turns later.

    After it missed it's attack a second time.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:25 No.14866273

    They began Another journey into the warp, following the coordinates they had been Given (Sarvus failing spectacularly once again) and began scanning the planets for details, chuck naturally volunteers to operate the EXTREMELY VALUABLE ARCHEOTECH scanner control system in the EXTREMELY VALUABLE ARCHEOTECH BRIDGE.

    He makes it explode.

    So, we first go to the big planet with the large building with a giant crystal on top, yadda-yadda.
    without much for-thought Tristan deploys a squad of guardsmen in a transport, they crash into the invisible field of no-technology and plummet to their deaths, (Shame really, I was hoping to actually wound them with this one, due to a crash. But i had to settle for killing their Red Shirts)

    At this point Lucius sagely advises they check out at least one of the other planets before destroying more valuable craft in attempting to land. Tristan agrees to it for once and we set off to the planet closest to the star, finding a crashed admech transporter, and then we discover a recurring thing for Tristan, he can't pilot landing craft.
    Not in a he can never do it, he just drives it like he drives the Astra Imperator, by swinging the controls back and forth violently, now this matters not in a several kilometer long spaceship, that takes an age to come about in the best of Circumstances, but in a little transport, it's almost a death sentence (he rolled 35 out of the 34 he needed, still technically a failure, but not a nosedive one like I wanted, Still I got to Crash them Anyway. So, Hooray!)
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:28 No.14866279
    To elaborate on this...the adventure was a little canned thing between arcs, them having stolen the teleportarium from a rival Rogue Trader. They hear of forbidden archeotech of some kind on a remote death world, evil natives, terrible threats, yadda yadda, they heard 'archeotech' and came running.
    So they went on down there and their landing zone was immediately ambushed by approximately nine million arrows and blowdarts from the jungle. Fortunately, everyone was inside except a minor lackey who took a dart to the throat, and promptly swelled to twice his original size, turned purple, rolled around in agony for four minutes, and subsequently died of suffocation. I was intending to scare them, but their response was to don full stormtrooper armor and grab 20 press-gangers as ablative shields. The dead redshirt they kicked into the jungle, which promptly elicited a munching noise, and horrible gagging noises shortly thereafter, as a local predator found it.

    This would set the tone for the rest of the session.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:29 No.14866281

    And god, Tristan cannot drive, you do eventually run out of adjectives for "The shuttle swings about wildly, before scraping into the ground with a large cruch" ect ect

    So after a 2 km trek thanks to their RT's pants-on-head piloting skills they arrive at the ship, find themselves a heavy-combat servitor in Stasis storage, still in working order, raid the logs to discover that the big building was actually where we wanted to go, and then chuck and Lucius dragged the stasis bin onto our transporter seconds before chuck got severe sunburn due to solar radiation, and Continuing my Trend of not being able to land a single wound on the Guy.

    We get back to the big crystal place and get out, Lucius stays behind in case the anti-tech field fries his tech bits he needs not to die, keeping his new pet servitor with him, doing Tech Priest'y things with it I guess.

    ((On a Side note are people actually enjoying this or Am I pissing in the Wind?))
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:32 No.14866299
    Anywho, Our Intrepid group continue to make their way into the ruins of this fancy-dancy Civilization (And yes, The navigator is still with us. We figured it out later, he made roughly Seven rolls this session, and failed all of them) All the while they are seeing the bodies of brutalized Imperial Guardsman, but no sign of what exactly killed them until they eventually reach the area near the Inner sanctum of the Crystal palace and see a whole bunch of orks. The players, Continuing their annoying bent to not allow me any fun decided to call in their bloody IG regiment and proceed ot mop up most of the Orks with the 200 men that they had brought down (while I, of course gleefully slaughter most of the IG's in a narrative battle as a form of payback) until finally there are about 8 Orks, 10 guardsmen and out little Squad left to do Battle. Sarvus opens up with his melta-pistol, and manages to jam the bloody thing. Tristan fires a few rounds at one of the nearby Nobs, and Chuck Runs in Screaming, and manages to take out a Ork in one turn with his Chainsword (Continuing *His* bent of being stupidly OP). At this stage I rub my hands rather gleefully and set the Orks to destroying the remainder of our RT's allies, before turning my attention to the players, the Ork Weirdboy charging up an Attack; green Energy flickering around his head as he grins Crazily. After two more rather pointless rolls by our regular members, buffcake Mcgee runs in, and manages to, in a single turn, decapitate the Psyker, sending his head towards the clustered Orks who watch, dazed, as the roll of 100 on my part leaves the still crackling head to stare up at them, then explode, decimating the remaining enemies and leaving me a fuming wreck as i begrudgingly allow my players to continuing forwards, no worse for the wear.

    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:36 No.14866312
    Now, as they walked towards the ominous temple o' doom in the distance, they were keeping an eye out, naturally, for more tribals. Unfortunately for them, the tribals had melted into the jungle as soon as they saw that the volley had done little to nothing, and started setting traps. The first trap was a punji stick trap, which turned out to hit the Explorator. Naturally, his legs being bionic saved him, and he plucked out the poisoned spikes and kept them. The next trap was a mantrap pit with poisoned spikes, which ate two of the lead redshirts.
    Quoth the RT: "Oh, fuck me!"
    Explorator: "Yes, an unfortunate waste of life."
    RT: "I don't give a shit about the corpses, but one of them was carrying our demo charges! Those fuckers!"
    So there was nothing else for it but to retrieve the charges. I rolled skill tests for the 'shirts. Botches. Botches all around. Nothing below a 70 on anything, until somehow all 8 remaining red shirts had killed themselves trying to get the charges. At which point the Explorator walked across the path the corpses had made, and plucked the charges and the rest of the gear out from between the spikes, along with several old human skulls. The RT called in a new batch, and we continued on.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:38 No.14866321
    YEAH, need more.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:39 No.14866328

    Using the buildings logs to locate the righteous path, the group hauls ass over there, docks and moves into the bridge. And as Lucius attempting to get basic functions back online, Two Heavy-Combat servitors whirr to life and launch an attack on Tristan, one even manages to scratch his Armour (Gasp), then Chuck happens, charging one of them, and cutting it in twain with (Yet Another) single blow followed, by Tristan unloading into the next, bringing it down to around 2 wounds, then a miracle happens, Angels cry as Sarvus finally hits his target for the first and only time since we started, killing it. They then order their men to begin shipping the the goods over the Astra, when who appears but good old Hadarak Fel, our new Archnemesis (Due to the fact that they decapitated and Immolated his Psyker Girlfriend),

    IT was building up to be an Epic battle of godly propotion untill, in only two rounds they managed to not only puncture his voids sheilds and armor, but also destroy several Integral componants, and then they did it again. Hadarak fel doing his best Impression of
    'team rockets blasting offf agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain' Whilst inside his personal shuttle as they manage another broadside directly to the (Thankfully Realspace this time) Engines , Destroying what remained of the ship in a series of catastrophic explosions that finally actually managed to scratch the paint of the Imperator.

    And that is the end of session 1, no trolls, as true as I can remember it
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:40 No.14866330
    I'm having to refrain from reading your story since I'm playing through the same adventure right now, but do continue.

    Their disregard for the lives of redshirt is applause worthy. Are they are least telling them that it's all for the Emperor's sake that they're dying, at least?
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:41 No.14866335
    cruisers are affordable to starting RT groups who roll high for SP but low for wealth. not RECCOMENDED, because you'll lack the dosh for, yknow, guns and shit, but it IS doable.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:43 No.14866345
    At this point, the group realized that they had 20, not 10, press gangers somewhere around here, and radioed in for their locations. With no reply, they said fuck it, called in another 10, and kept going. As they got near the temple, they were greeted by a complement of close to 200 feral warriors brandishing bows, spears, blowguns, and other such fun implements. Surprisingly, they spoke Low Gothic, in a shitty, tribal sort of way.
    Tribal leader: "You go away! You tresspass on sacred ground!"
    Seneschal: "We seek no offense...we seek only to make a tribute to your glorious civilization..."
    Tribal boss: "Make tribute! Then go away!"
    The seneschal loads up a redshirt with a sack full of something, palming something with an insane Sleight of Hand roll. The goon walks up to the tribals, who gather round, and the goon opens his sack to reveal...a solid block of plastic explosive from the demo supplies.
    At which point the Seneschal pressed the detonator, taking out 2/3rds of the tribals, and the rest of the party started shooting. Combat was over in a handful of rounds, total annihilation on the tribal's part. The other redshirts are suddenly looking decidedly nervous, when a lasgun blast comes out of nowhere from the temple's upper level, which the seneschal narrowly dodges, and the beam blew a random redshirt's head off. Well, they'd found out where the other red shirts had gotten off to.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:48 No.14866372
    A "standard" fully gunned Lunar cruiser is 66 SP (with the prow being a lance weapon or an armoured prow). You have to roll a 10 on the starting PF/SP table to be able to afford it. Or reduce crew quality for bonus SP, but that's a terrible idea. It'll give you one hell of an advantage in fights (double broadside = unimaginable pain if you get some good rolls) but you'll have such a crummy PF rating that you won't be able to afford proper repairs to it.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:49 No.14866385
    Some of them did have the good sense to turn against their masters then. Using your mooks as walking bombs does not inspire loyalty.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:52 No.14866400
    The party immediately takes cover, with the Explorator noting that the tribals had somehow gotten ahold of a long-las, had seen everything that had gone down in the courtyard, and were, naturally, fucking pissed. His bleated questions of how in the hell they knew how to use the gun, much less how they got it, were drowned out by the fact that the sniper was expertly suppressing them. It'd take a miracle to extract them now. Or would it? (It didn't)
    As always in this adventurer, their solution was to use the redshirts as human shields while they advanced. While the redshirts weren't happy about this, at all, the boltgun butt-strokes to the nuts and ass convinced them that the risk of death was better than being shot right there. The party, with some haste, managed to get across the open courtyard, only losing five redshirts to lasgun fire., and entered the temple of these tribals.
    Their first impression: It was burning. Their second impression: It was melting. Actually, it was neither. It was a red stone building, with braziers of coals everywhere, and intricate designs picked out in brass.
    The Seneschal makes his Knowledge (Heresy) roll, realizing that the entire tribe was dedicated to Khorne. Rather than demoralizing anyone, to my amazement, this made them even happier, since they could spin it all being in the name of the Emperor. They would just need to wade through hundreds more tribals to do it.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)06:53 No.14866404
    No. No, it does not. This will come back to bite them in the ass more than once more.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)07:00 No.14866419
    The tribals attack, furious at this violation of their holy ground. They're armed with the same weapons as before, but unarmored, and the party is showing absolutely no restraint in gunning them down left and right. The red tiles ran slick with blood within minutes, and a few tribals managed lucky wounds, with the Seneschal taking severe damage from that bloat poison before the Explorator managed to counteract it. Eventually, sheer weight of numbers pushed them into a fortified side room, containing one of the cult's holy books. The Seneschal, a bit of a Forbidden Lore nut, grabs it and reads it, with it being full of rather apocalyptic language, but warning of 'they who come spilling blood of the nameless in the name of themselves'. These people are apparently the center of the cult, there to make them sacrifices and ascend their high priest as a daemon prince. Somehow, none of them catch the implications, the Seneschal pockets the book, and they go on, pausing only when one of the redshirts tried to take his leave. He was dealt with in a Commissariat-approved manner, and they refreshed the redshirt cadre, noticing again that several more of their goons had mysteriously vanished. Suspecting magical African ninjas, the RT demanded they press on, looking for this archeotech he was promised.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)07:01 No.14866427

    Archive Dis shit now
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)07:02 No.14866430
    Faster damn you faster!
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)07:07 No.14866448
    I am halfway between exasperated and appalled at this point, from their self-centeredness and the admittedly very 40kish total disregard for the lives of what I laughingly call 'their men'. So far they've burned past half a dozen obstacles by use of mook death, and created an epic shitstorm for themselves because of it. I admit that them being the catalyst for the daemon prince's ascension was improvised, but let's be honest...they were already spilling plenty of Blood for the Blood God here.
    They head deeper, reasoning that it would be kept deep underground, in a super-secure vault, and then they discovered what -else- the cult was hiding: A mine hundreds of feet deep. The group starts exploring, casually murdering tribals and slaves as they go, and sending redshirts ahead whenever the mine looked even slightly suspicious or unstable. They lost all 20 redshirts within an hour of in-game time, to traps, rockfalls, unstable caverns, and ambushes, and this deep underground, they couldn't get a signal back to the ship for more.
    So they do the only sensible thing: Grab the demo charges, load up the explorator's servo-skull with them, and blow a hole to the surface with it! Amazingly for them, this actually worked, with the side effect of collapsing about 20% of the mine and killing hundreds of workers. But they figured they could dig anything useful out later, and they'd replenished their redshirt allowance, so they didn't care. Time to head deeper and find out what the cult was hiding in their vaults.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)07:09 No.14866462
    Rogue Trader really isn't the game to get mad over people being sociopathic monsters.

    That said, they sacrificed the servo-skull as a flying bomb? Aren't they meant to be constructed from the skulls of the honoured dead?
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)07:15 No.14866498
    So, the redshirts are hiding and waiting to attack them, right?
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)07:16 No.14866505
    As it turned out, the cult didn't have any vaults, because they were too busy mining shit. A central fact of their Bronze Age society was that brass was holy to their god, and the temple was built on a mother lode of copper. They'd conquered entire tribes just to mine the stuff, all of it going to their temples rather than their weapons, and the group had just killed almost all of the slaves.
    They managed to kill the rest on their way up, since the slaves were in full panic-born revolt mode, and ready to fucking kill anything at all that stood between them and freedom. This time, they were set on checking out the top of the temple. Even more las and bolter and grenade fire later, they were heading up, losing redshirts left and right as they went, so fast that they didn't even bother asking for more, and focused on just adding moar goddamned dakka in the name of the Emprah. Until they found themselves in the High Priest's chambers, with nearly 30 deserter redshirts training lasguns and plasma grenades on them.
    Quoth the RT: "You?! I thought you ungrateful bastards were dead!"
    Deserter Leader: "If we'd stuck with you, we would be! You know, you are a pretty godsdamned lousy leader when Khornates are better bosses than you! We're through with you! Fuck off or we'll kill you, and send your worthless ass to hell!"
    The RT's face just got hard, and cold, like I'd literally slapped him in the face, out of game. He spoke again, distant and measured, and I'm not sure if he was speaking in character, or out.
    "Kill the fuckers."
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)07:17 No.14866510
    No, they just used it to deposit the bombs and fly back. It's a miracle they didn't get it killed, though.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)07:17 No.14866514
    So, yeah, not to distract from the tales of intrigue in this thread up to this point, but I had a question. Coming up not too long from now, I'm gonna be in a Rogue Trader campaign. I was talking with my GM and the conversation shifted to the Mechanicus. It was then that he said that he was treating the machine spirits, not as things techpriests simply believed in because they're nutsos, but as actual spirits. Because he thinks it sounds more fun. Should I be worried, /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)07:19 No.14866520
    It's one valid interpretation and can be fun. Machine spirits are a great big blank spot in canon, with regards to how real they actually are, so he is justified in saying so.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)07:19 No.14866521
    Honestly, what did the guy EXPECT?
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)07:20 No.14866534
    I'm just worried it will get out of hand. Our group tends to be a bit wild and he has a habit of taking little things and taking them to their idiotic extremes.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)07:24 No.14866552
    Depends how far he takes it. For stuff like starships the machine spirit is very, very real. Sort of a gestalt psudo-consciousness that the explorator literally communes with. It's not quite sentient, but there's definitely something to it. This isn't the case for everything, though, especially not simple devices.

    As for that simpler stuff, I usually dress up malfunctions as angry machine spirits. Like when the navigator's bolt pistol jammed twice in one session I informed her that its spirit had been enraged by her lack of love and care for it. It's mostly superstition but there is some substance to it. I'm also generally fond of the idea of high ranking tech-priests (or at least the dogmatic ones) paying respect to the spirits of lesser devices even if they know that they don't have to. It's a matter of respect for the Omnissiah's works, no matter how small they may be.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)07:27 No.14866565
    Not redshirts calling him out on being a sociopathic asshole, that's for sure.

    The Explorator chose this rather opportune moment to reveal those spikes he'd taken from the punji trap earlier, throwing three into redshirts before they could react, and the battle was joined in earnest. Blessed by Khorne, the former redshirts gave as good as they got, and concentrated 100% of their fire on the RT, forcing him to drop into cover, which was swiftly being melted through.
    His response, in hindsight, was not unexpected. Semi-concious, fighting a losing battle, he orders the others to provide delaying fire, and demands immediate pickup from the dropship. As the Seneschal is hurrying to comply, panicking because he is sure a TPK is imminient, he voxes to the ship...and tells them to port an armed plasma bomb to his location, with a ten-minute fuse.
    Everyone at the table literally asked 'are you insane?' at this point, but through some epic Command skills, he managed to pull an Ah-nuld and get everyone on the drop ship just in time to fly away as the plasma bomb incinerated what was left of the temple. Breathing a sigh of relief, they didn't notice the cult leader in the crater, laughing as he glowed red with the spilt blood of his entire tribe, and more besides. They would...in just a moment.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)07:31 No.14866592
    He threw who knows how many people to their death.
    I find it hard to believe he expected them to sing his praises, or anything.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)07:36 No.14866606
    Amazingly, they had completely forgotten about the whole 'ascendant daemon prince' thing earlier, and they watched in horror as he began his transformation. The Seneschal finally realized what I had been hinting at if they kept up the act, and with a rather stiff Knowledge roll, realized that the Prince was still vulnerable while he transformed. The RT nodded, seemingly unsurprised and unruffled, now that he had laid some smack down, and decided on the best way to handle things:
    "Throw the demo charges out of the ship, fire into the forest. I want this jungle burning red hot ASAP!"
    So saying, they heaved all the firepower they could into the circular little patch of forest immediately outside the temple crater, until the whole thing was burning hot and bright and smoking like hell thanks to burning animals, trees, and people, and a few detonations as the fire reached especially volatile objects.
    The RT nodded, and checked with the ship. "You see that smoke plume on the northwestern planetary hemisphere? Center macrocannons on it. I want this place pounded by macrocannon shells until I can write my name with the craters."
    As the macrocannon shells manage to hit, thanks to him starting a giant forest fire visible from space as a goddamned targeting signal, a few hits found the still-growing daemon prince mid-transformation, blowing it into bloody pieces. Not believing it was dead, the RT kept them pounding that spot for 32 hours straight, until they were literally out of shells.
    That was where I ended last session...now they plan to go to a hive and replenish their redshirt population, having apparently learned very little from the whole ordeal. The Prince...I have plans for, suffice to say. Hope you enjoyed it.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)07:37 No.14866608
    To be fair, Rogue Traders are somewhat known for being mad and/or expecting utter obedience from their lessers. Especially if they're bred for the role.

    Also, many players don't learn that consequences exist until a GM bothers to enforce them.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)07:37 No.14866612
    In his world, redshirts do as they're told and don't ever talk back. I blame D&D, personally.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)07:46 No.14866655
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    >>Accidentally allow the creation of a Daemon Prince
    >>Create a fire visible from orbit with explosives and weapons fire to use as a targeting signal
    >>Bomb the site from orbit until you run out of bombs
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)07:47 No.14866661
    And of course, now they are also planning to spin themselves as heroes of the Imperium for destroying a daemon prince, eradicating a cult, and taming several miles worth of pristine death world. They neglected to mention that one of the macrocannon shells penetrated the planetary crust, turning the region into a fresh volcano that has obliterated anything of value that was actually there, but that is the price of getting caught up in the moment.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)07:49 No.14866668
    Now now, I'm sure there are other RPGs that typically divorce PCs from reasonable consequence. I can't think of any, but I'm sure this sort of thing isn't -solely- the fault of D&D.

    Does he know about servitors yet?
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)07:52 No.14866682
    The Explorator enlightened him, yes, and that is one reason I say it's turning the ship into the SS SuperJail. They are adding a massive brig for redshirts and a reclamation bay, and already had Cold Quarters and that teleportarium. Their plan is to fill the brig and cryo with expendable convicts whose planets don't want them, and offer freedom if they manage to survive 6 months of active duty. I can only forsee this ending hilariously.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)07:53 No.14866684
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    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)07:54 No.14866688
    Show them the Riddick animated film "Dark Fury." Hopefully they'll get ideas about sticking hardened criminals/mercs in cryo and decanting them when they need to kill something.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)07:58 No.14866707
    Oh, I plan to watch them dig their own graves if they keep not learning from incidents like this. That film is a good example of one way it could end, but for now I am incredibly amused by watching them scramble to try and sustain this insane idea.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)08:02 No.14866727
    If they're going to use expendable troops they need to have a solid supply of desperate men who are willing to risk it all for incredible rewards. Something that makes suicide squad duty worth taking. If the survivors get given bags of cash and set up in cushy jobs then there's a good chance of inspiring some degree of loyalty (or some approximation of it, anyway).

    The Brig and Cold Quarters will certainly go a ways to keeping the scum under control. I'd also recommend that they invest in some quality kit and training for their armsmen. Or, better yet, just get a barracks and retain a personal army. Who don't get used for suicide squad duty, naturally.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)08:02 No.14866729
    Exalted, maybe?
    They've got fucking ridiculous PCs who are so powerful nothing can touch them
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)08:05 No.14866753
    Exalted is all about consequences, actually, and what happens when the world is far too small to contain close to a thousand reality-warping demigods. So not from there.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)08:23 No.14866847
    Some time ago I was RT. I was zealot with a lot of peers. When i encountered shortage in good man for fighting on ground i used my connections with adeptus mechanicus, ecclasiarchy, administratum and military to find 500 guardsman veteran with specifications such as not older than 50, good health shape medals for courage or real combat experience and such on. The main specification was had to be disabled and shitty live after service in army. They they should be transferred to adeptus mechanicus and get their missing legs or arms and join my ship in short time, and the best thing that i asked ecclesiarchy to pay for this complex thing for some deeds I had made in recent past.

    And I sought that was CRAZY :))))))
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)08:26 No.14866864
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    So, you used three individual connections to obtain an elite force of cyborg soldiers?
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)08:31 No.14866896
    and didn't even payed for that +) thought my GM said that i'm bit weird +)))))
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)08:49 No.14866973
    The Rogue Trader in my own game managed to requisition an entire regiment. When the game first started he nabbed a 40k'd version of an old Dutch Trading Company charter back from the age of sail. One of the clauses says that the Imperium shall provide him with troops if he's off to do their business. After a -50 Charm test he convinced his friends in the Battlefleet that he needed some hardened killers and was given a few thousand carapace armoured shock troops for the explicit purpose of "killing whatever heretical scum are off over in that direction."
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)09:34 No.14867185
    Funny. Mine got some Necromundans for the same charter. I think yours got better off it, though.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)11:25 No.14867975
    Possibly. They've yet to have good cause to use them, though now that most of the crew on their flagship is dead and morale has been decimated the few thousand remaining underdeck scum might get ideas about rising up. Might be time for martial law. Or for the spirits that haunt the ship to get angry with everyone for wrecking their home.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)14:41 No.14869502
    Used theirs to take over some shipyards, so pretty well spent.

    I've got a friend who's in some other game, and tells me they greatly regret picking up a regiment of chem dogs there...
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)17:45 No.14870899
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)17:50 No.14870921
    Ooh wait. Cbem dogs. I think they know this game. Didn't the chem dogs hijack a holy atomic?
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)17:54 No.14870940

    If they did I demand to hear About it.

    On a Side note anyone feel like screencapping the two stories presented here? I've found the m both extremely Enjoyable.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)18:48 No.14871255
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    Willing allowing Chemdogs onto your ship?
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)18:58 No.14871361
    I've been thinking about using a form of 40k to play out the bigger battles that you get into in Rogue trader.

    Good idea or awesome idea? It would allow a lot more strategy.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)18:59 No.14871366
    Battlefleet Gothic. Google it.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)19:01 No.14871380
    Ground battles? Rules for full scale ground warfare came out in Battlefleet Koronus but they're pretty undercooked. Thankfully someone stepped up and improved them substantially. Link below.

    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)19:04 No.14871406
    Actually, that's an idea. Couldn't we use RT as a nexus for all the GW games? Small scale skirmish? Necromunda. Larger battle? Tabletop. Space battle? Battlefleet Gothic.

    You could set it up so all the objectives and forces would be determined by role-playing objectives. It'd be good.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)21:07 No.14872420
    If people desire it, sure. There's a few problems, of course. Proper, full scale military action (several thousand men per side) would require Epic and any frigate or smaller ship would be at a massive disadvantage in BFG. As for more personal battles, well, that's that the RT rules are for. Port in Hordes from Deathwatch if you want packs of mooks threatening the explorers and their fancy power armour.
    >> RB 05/09/11(Mon)21:55 No.14872849
    The following are a sampling of tales of the crew brotherhoods of Barrage Invictus as recorded by Savant Birani in 649.M41. This venerable and famous adept travelled the length and breadth of the Calixis sector on behalf of the Administratum, collecting whimsical tales and myths of its inhabitants as a hobby. Ironically enough, it was this hobby that made him lastingly famous, rather than the mediation of negotiations between Mechant House Krin and three Rogue Trader families of the Drusus Marches that Savant Birani considered his finest accomplishment.

    Author’s Note: Dissembling Rupert does not appear to be an actual historical personage, but rather an apocryphal figure in the crew lore of the Rogue Trader ship “Barrage Invictus”. Comparisons to similar characters, themes and tales of the Voidborn reveal an uncanny similarity, clearly pointing to certain predilections of those who fare between the Emperor’s stars. Dissembling Rupert and other characters that appear in these tales embody the hopes, fears, hatreds, and admirations of the Voidborn. (to be continued)
    >> RB 05/09/11(Mon)21:56 No.14872860
    Dissembling Rupert and the Foolish Glutton.

    One day Rupert fell afoul of a mean-spirited bosun. The bosun promised Rupert that he would cut his corpse-starch rations in half and beat him mercilessly for a full month unless Rupert went down into a lower hold and retrieved the bosun’s favourite dagger which he thought he dropped there. No matter how hard Rupert thought about it, there was nothing to do but go down into the lower hold. He took his stout cudgel, an old rattled revolver that Rupert’father left him, rope, oil lantern, his lucky rebreather, and a few strips of Grox jerky. He climbed for hours until he reached the bottom, and he barely had any oil left then.

    He wandered for a bit, but he could not find the bosun’s dagger in the bad water and darkness of the lower hold. As he was wandering about he saw two red eyes and a growling voice addressed him: “Harr! Little man, you who wander into my domain, shall be my little snack,” and a huge green arm reached for Rupert. Though he nimbly dodged, he stumbled in the water and was caught. The big green arm turned out to belong to a big green ork, he must’ve come from a boarding party which our crew have gloriously massacred earlier. Rupert was afraid, but he was also canny, and so he blurted out: “If you’re hungry I can give you a bigger meal!” And the ork stopped and scratched his head and thought (it took a while). Finally he said: “You are small, it’s true, but I’m hungry now!” So Rupert gave the ork his Grox jerky and his trusty cudgel and told him that Rupert’s bosun is big and fat and stupid and would make a wonderful meal for the ork (which is true as bosuns are usually all three), and climbed and climbed and climbed up.
    >> RB 05/09/11(Mon)21:57 No.14872868
    The bosun was very angry that Rupert came back without the bosun’s dagger, but Rupert lied very well that he discovered a forgotten treasure in the hold but it was too big for Rupert to carry out alone. So the bosun thought that if he and Rupert retrieved the treasure and then he killed Rupert, then no one else would know and bosun would keep the entire treasure, and so he eagerly agreed to climb down. “My rope won’t hold us both,” said Rupert: “Why don’t you give me your rope as well?” and the bosun did as Rupert asked, and then the two of them climbed down.
    When they reached the bottom, the ork was waiting with Rupert’s cudgel and crushed bosun’s head. He started eating the bosun and Rupert then told the ork that there were many more fat and juice humans if only the ork could climb up. The ork, even though he already had plenty of bosun’s meat, said yes. Rupert went first, to show ork the way.

    When he got the top he took out the bosun’s dagger which he had stolen several days before, and cut the rope. The ork fell and was crushed to death. Rupert then climbed down with bosun’s rope and took all the gelt that the bosun had, and cut off the ork’s head. Rupert claimed the bounty on the ork that killed the bosun, and had a good meal each day for a whole month.

    Basically I liked the ship that my players made so much that I wrote crew fairy tales for it (and a bunch of other stuff).
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)22:09 No.14872985
    What a time to have just woken up.

    You know, I spent a few days building ships for one of the homies for his Black Crusade game. He said that he was worried they would be too tough for the players. And to think I built half of them as jokes.
    >> RB 05/09/11(Mon)22:13 No.14873029
    The End of Innocence was among the ships of the Angevin Crusade that brought the Calixis Sector into the fold of the Imperium. At first it was a fuel and supply ship for the crusade, and was later refitted into a pilgrim vessel. Its final journey was to bring pilgrims and members of Ecclesiarchy to a world that would become Maccabeus Quintus. End of Innocence never completed that journey.

    The ship’s fate and the fates of its passengers - more than fifteen thousand souls crammed into vast holds - was to remain a mystery for nearly a thousand years, when the ship was discovered planet-bound by a group of itinerant priests seeking to establish a new monastery on a shrine world of Veneris in the Drusus Marches. The priests entered the ship, finding it completely devoid of any signs of life, as if its crew and passengers never were on the ship in the first place. Only one priest walked out of the End of Innocence driven mad by the ordeal that claimed the rest of his fellows, but lucid enough to report the find. An Inquisitorial team investigated the ship and purged the ship’s logs, the report of its findings (and presumably a copy of ship’s logs) disappeared into the sealed data vaults of the Tricorn Palace on Scintilla.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)22:14 No.14873044
    I just got the Rogue Trader core rulebook along with Into the Storm. I want to make a black powder combination gun for an NPC. How do I combine a blunderbuss with a musket?
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)22:15 No.14873053
    Use duct tape. Duct tape for everything.
    >> RB 05/09/11(Mon)22:15 No.14873055
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    The End of Innocence would have likely remained planet-bound if two things did not come to pass: the fall of the Tellurian Combine, and the increased exploration and plunder of the Koronus Expanse. The Ecclesiarchy sought a Rogue Trader that would be willing to carry pilgrims and missionaries to the heathen worlds of the Expanse, and the Inquisition sought the removal of a number of noble and mercantile Houses that were linked to the Tellurian Combine without upsetting political balance of the Sector. Thus a Warrant of Trade was granted to the House of Chetevrek, as well as ownership of the End of Innocence - raised from the surface of Veneris, repaired and resanctified - on the condition that the new Rogue Trader and all future bearers of the Warrant are oath-bound to lend aid to the Ministorum and Missionaria Galaxia and carry the God-Emperor’s Faith to the heathen worlds of the Expanse.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)22:16 No.14873074

    Combi Weapon rules from into the storm. Pick which one you want to be the dom weapon. That one goes on top, and remains unchanged. Then pick the sub weapon. Halve its weight, reduce the sub weapon to 1 shot, and attach it to the bottom of the dom weapon. You now have a combi-weapon.
    >> RB 05/09/11(Mon)22:17 No.14873080
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    >>14873055 cont'd
    For the last four centuries the fortunes of the Chetevrek Rogue Traders waxed and waned. The End of Innocence ferried countless pilgrims, colonists, and missionaries from Calixis Sector to the Koronus Expanse, as well as carrying vital supplies and trade goods. Its weapons, armour and systems were continuously upgraded to survive the perils of the Expanse, but the evidence of hauntings and ill omens never left the ship. The crew of the End of Innocence has many stories of such hauntings, some claiming they are the lost souls of its previous crew and passengers, others claiming the hauntings are what took the previous crew and passengers. Either way, the twisted and labyrinthine corridor mazes of the ship have swallowed their share of unlucky crew members, passengers, or interlopers. Though the first Rogue Trader Chetevrek may have been reluctant to serve as a puppet of the Ministorum, his successors forged closer relations with the priesthood, receiving opportunities for profit, holy relics, and even a number of Arco-Flagellants and Cherubim (represented by Murder Servitors and Cherubim Aerie respectively), in exchange for carrying the Emperor’s Word to new worlds.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)22:20 No.14873108

    Cool, thanks! I'll be sure to get some combi-weapon tape from the nearest ork- uh, I mean, trader.

    Yeah, trader.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)22:20 No.14873114

    My crew always had it done by their Chief Technical Officer.

    Who was an ork with a paper bag over his head.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)22:27 No.14873199

    hey you had more stories from before. do we get a choice again today?
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)22:29 No.14873218

    Depends on whether or not you want to hear them.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)22:30 No.14873234
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    >>Implying we don't.
    I'm the one with the 'henchman killer' story, and I request some of your hilarious shit.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)22:33 No.14873284
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    Very well. I woke up from a rather refreshing nap, so pick one you wish to hear FIRST.

    Devils, Monsters - When an abandoned Mechanicus transport warps over the players' moon, they find things better left alone...
    Riders of the Light - Stuck on a chaos-infested shithole, the players must deal with two rival factions and find replacement parts for a gellar field so they can escape.

    I got my drink an' my two-step, it's on.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)22:36 No.14873309

    How do you build a ship as a joke?
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)22:37 No.14873320
    Kind of want to go the Dune route. Famulous Protege Astropath from a water world with Lost Dynasty for a desert one. Have a seneschal with organic cortex implants, a female missionary, an arch militant who plays music, but what else?
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)22:37 No.14873329
    Devils and monsters, please.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)22:40 No.14873361

    >Player's moon

    This one. And do tell how they ended up with that planetary body. I expect hilarious shenanigans.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)22:43 No.14873389
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    By focusing to the point the ship can do nothing else

    Stun Gun the Meritech Raider, with speed 15 and disruptor cannons for disabling shit
    And We're Just The Escorts the Falchion Frigate, with speed 8 and more torpedos than God herself.
    Clown Car the Defiant Light Cruiser, with speed 15, armor 24 all around, no weapons, and boarders, boarders everywhere.
    And finally, the Super Dimension Fortress, the Tyrant Cruiser built around the Voidsunder cannon.


    Hmm, interesting choice. You should know that Devils, Monsters is a story from before the Rogue Trader went full retard, and he actually acts relatively competent here.

    One moment, loading archives.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)22:45 No.14873411
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    So the party has just finished up a round of shopping with the Merchant, and are aboard their ship when their ship sensors start blaring. Something has just come out of warp travel directly above their moon. Augur arrays read it as a Loki-class Q ship. Upon leaving the warp, it was just...drifting there. The Rogue Trader immediately sees a potential new ship, and orders his cruiser near it. Ship markings indicate the ship belongs to the Adeptus Mechanicus. This immediately sets off the Explorator, warning about how the ship could be a trap by Farotek, the techpriest hunting them. Rogue Trader orders a full scan of the ship.

    No living entities aboard.

    This, of course, freaks out the Voidmaster. Having grown up in space, she knew that a Q ship typically has about 18,000 people aboard. 18,000 people simply do not disappear.

    "I don't think it's a good idea to go near there." stammers the Voidmaster.
    "Augury scans pick up nothing." notes the Explorator.
    "We should head over there and pick it clean then! Let's go!" says the Rogue Trader.
    >> Devils, Monsters Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)22:47 No.14873437
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    The party heads to their Aquila Lander, and begins their approach to the Q ship. No movement. No lights. Nothing seen on the Q-ship during multiple passes. The Voidmaster finally finds an open cargo bay hatch, and brings the Aquila down.

    "Where are we?" asks the Rogue Trader.
    Voidmaster passes her knowledge Imperial Navy, and determines their location to be the Main Cargo Hold. The Explorator walks up to the exit door. It seems that all power is out on the ship. The Explorator places his hand on the interface panel, and charges it with his potentia coil. The door opens into further cargo holds. This cargo hold, however, is noticeably disheveled and damaged. walking through the room that seemingly stretches on forever, the Seneschal passes his scrutiny, and realizes something odd.

    While half the boxes appear to be broken INTO, the other half appear to be broken OUT of.

    The explorator finds another door, and charges this one up in a similar way. This one leads to a hallway that the Voidmaster determines to be one of two central access halls for the ship. travelling down this route, the Explorator notes a door. Voidmaster indicates that this will lead to one of the voidsmens' quarters. The Explorator charges up the door, only for the players to enter a bloodbath.

    If you could call it that.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)22:49 No.14873457
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    There are no bodies whatsoever. Plasma scoring, spent bolt casings, and autogun rounds litter the ground. Strange green splotches litter the walls.

    "Oh crap!" yells the Rogue Trader.
    "What?" asks the Seneschal.
    "This is a space hulk! Tyranids killed everybody!"
    >Roll Knowledge Xenos.
    "Made it." says the Seneschal.
    >If this was Tyranids, then there would be scratch marks around and forced entry. Besides, space hulks are huge conglomerations of ships in space. This is one ship.
    "So far, there hasn't been any slash marks in the walls." notes the Explorator.
    "Well what about Rak'gol?" asks the Arch-Militant.
    "Three degrees on Knowledge Xenos." says the Seneschal.
    >Well, Rak'gol weapons are built for ripping, so you would have seen at least some red blood around. And all the weapon casings you see are Imperial.
    "Orks, perhaps?" asks the Arch Militant.
    "Two degrees." says the Seneschal.
    >Orks have no reason to hide bodies. Besides, you would have seen dead orks as well.
    "That's true. We haven't seen ANY bodies yet." states the Seneschal.
    "Chaos?" asks the Arch-Mlitant.
    "No degrees, just success on Knowledge Heresy." says the Seneschal.
    >Wait, how did you get Knowledge Heresy?
    "...I don't remember."
    >Right then...you haven't seen any heretical symbols on the ship so far, and the gellar field is still up.
    "And I don't know of any heretics that bleed green." says the Explorator.
    "I don't know of any xenos that bleed green and hide bodies." says the Voidmaster.
    "I TOLD you it was a bad idea..." says the Voidmaster.
    "Well, we still need to figure out what happened here. Let's continue on to the Plasma drive. We need power." states the Rogue Trader.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)22:50 No.14873474
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    Continuing on through the voidsmens' quarters, the Explorator reaches the door leading to the plasma drives, places his hand on the interface...and herniates.

    >You rolled a 100, didn't you?
    >Well, you're fatigued.
    "Then we'll take an hour to catch our breath." states the Rogue Trader.
    >Your call.

    Explorator successfully charges the door on his second try, and opens the path to the plasma drive. What lay forward was not pleasant.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)22:51 No.14873490
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    The players were wondering where the bodies were. Well, here they were. Blood everywhere, some still holding weapons.
    "Well, then. This doesn't look pleasant." states the Seneschal.
    "Let's just get the power up. Heading through a hallway down the center of the area, the players reach one final door. Explorator charges it, and the players reach the main terminal for the Plasma Drives.

    "Okay, this shouldn't be too hard." states the Explorator.
    >You notice that it says "Emergency Lockdown.
    "well, that explains why the power's out. Will turning this back on open all the doors?"
    >Yes, it will open all the doors.
    "Okay then...12 degrees of success on Tech Use."
    >Well, after a few minutes, the plasma drives come back online, You see light flood into the area.
    "Excellent. Now we-" begins the ROgue Trader.
    "You also hear a beastly roar echo all around you."
    "Oh shit." says the Voidmaster.

    The players leave the Plasma Drive command room, and head back to the central area.

    The bodies are gone.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)22:54 No.14873533
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    "OH FUCK." yells the Voidmaster.
    "Arch-militant runs back toward the way they came in. The door opens, but cargo boxes are blocking the way. There is now way back.
    "We...we need to get to the bridge. The bridge will have more information." says the Rogue Trader.
    "Well...we'll need to pass through the port crew quarters, and there will be passageways there." says the Voidmaster.
    "Very well. Let's go." says the Rogue Trader.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)22:56 No.14873552
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    >>We need power
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)22:57 No.14873555
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    Passing into the crew quarters, the players notice a lot of bodies this time around. Passing into one side room, the players decide to check their ammo and supplies. There is a boombox on the floor, in multiple pieces. There is also a helmet. The Explorator picks it up, and realizes it has a built-in pict-caster. He takes the helmet, and interfaces with it to try and find more information.

    A pair of voidsmen are sitting around, one holding a boombox, one whittling a piece of wood. The boombox is playing the Spice Girls.
    "Bill, why we gotta listen to that crap?"
    "Jim, that 'crap' is mankind's history!"
    "But the Inquisition uses that stuff for psychological warfare!"
    The door opens.
    "Oh, hey Ted."
    "Hey guys, what's going o-argh."
    Something flies into Ted's chest, staggering him backwards. Suddenly, gunfire can be heard.
    "What the hell is going on?"
    'What are those things?"
    "Oh man, it got Steve!"
    Bill pulls out his autogun, and Jim pulls out a stub revolver.
    "Shoot it! Shoot it!"
    The voidsmen begin shooting something off camera. Suddenly the camera falls backwards.
    "They're everywhere-argh."
    The boombox falls to the ground.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)22:58 No.14873563
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    "What in the..." starts the explorator.
    "They sounded very bored when they died." says the Voidmaster.
    >Well EXCUSE ME, princess. I'm sorry I didn't express death well enough for you.
    "But what the hell happened in that video?" asks the Explorator.
    Suddenly noises can be heard in the vents.
    "Captain, did you hear that?" asks the Seneschal.
    The vents explode as dozens of crawling sickly green things pour out of the vents.

    >image related
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)22:59 No.14873579
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    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)22:59 No.14873585
    Nice Halo reference. I approve.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)23:00 No.14873592
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    The players rush to shoot at them. they seem to die from any serious damage. The little things are suicidal, rushing at the players. While most pop on the players' refractor fields, if they hit the players, they explode as they cut through with their tiny tools, releasing toxins that did small amounts of damage. The players fight most of them off, as one rushes off. Seneschal makes his Knowledge Xenos to determine these are Slaugth harvest constructs. The Arch-militant chases the bioconstruct, but freezes as it reaches a dead body. He sees it rush at the dead body, tiny biological shears cutting it open as the construct enters the corpse. The corpse seemingly reanimates, and charges the arch-militant. The Flesh parasite can take obscene amounts of damage - the entire party shooting one barely fazes it. Voidmaster gets a lucky headshot, and burns its head away. Rogue Trader then confidently walks away, only to get whacked in the back by it.

    >It smacks you for...14.
    "Nuh uh." says the Rogue Trader.
    "Nope. Voidmaster shot its head off." He smirks.
    >Implying it needs its head.
    His smile disappears.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)23:03 No.14873632
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    Arch-militant finally gets a lucky hit in, killing the Flesh Parasite. And then the Explorator starts saying words.
    "Hey, is this what we're fighting?"
    >Pic Related.
    >More or less.
    "These guys are Flood!"
    >Couldn't be farther from the truth.
    "Totally. Tentacles? Infecting the dead? The designers were totally playing Halo when they wrote this."
    >I HIGHLY doubt that. Slaugth are made of worms, after all. They fleshcraft like artificers. They are nothing like the Flood. But he has a point. You guys mind if I switch up some vernacular?
    "Not really."
    >Okay...the Slaugth Combat Form finally goes down. You can hear the skittering of Slaugth Infection forms in the vents.
    "Let's get to the Bridge." says the Rogue Trader.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)23:04 No.14873640
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    Shit just got real.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)23:06 No.14873663

    This actually reminds me of a very similar scenario I was running for my players. Basically they had run across the ship which belonged to the head of their dynasty, who was the uncle of the Rogue Trader. The ship had a bunch of bites taken out of it, and they decided to go aboard, against Arch Militant #2's better judgement. The ship is nearly completely deserted, only a few desicated bodies remain. They've just reached the bridge, where the body of the RT's uncle is sitting on the command throne, his skeletal hands clasped on the dynasty's heirloom sword. The RT reaches her hands out to take the sword, when all hell breaks loose.

    At this point I'm clicking onto the next page of notes for the scenario, when at that precise moment, the music track for the game changes. I usually run a low volume music track on my lap-top to add to the game, so it seemed like I'd made a change to the soundtrack on purpose. Arch Militant #2 and the Missionary are twins and big gamers, as well as being probably more paronoid then they really should have been about this whole setup. The soundtrack changes from one of the Star Trek: TNG themes, to Devils... Monsters... Or the Flood Theme from Halo Combat Evolved. They shout "OHH FUCK!!!!", whip out their guns, and start pouring fully automatic fire down the hallway they've just come from. The rest of the party follows suit, the RT grabs the sword out of her uncles hands, and they start to book it back to the gun cutter.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)23:06 No.14873669
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    They run through the halls, occasionally looking out the window and seeing Infection Forms seemingly following them. They rush to a nearby elevatus, and hit the top button. This elevatus would take them to the bridge. As they ascend, through the window, they can see THOUSANDS of Combat Forms swarming the hull. AS they get to the bridge, there is only a single terminal. The rest are covered in some strange fleshy substance.
    "Captain, I believe we let them out when we powered on the Plasma Drives."
    "Okay, so how do we get rid of them? I want this ship." says the Rogue Trader.
    "Captain, I think it's a lost cause. We should just blow this ship up." says the Seneschal.
    "No. Vent the ship. See how they like vacuum."
    "Captain, they seem to be enjoying it just fine. Look outside."
    "Contact our ship. Get our guardswomen armed and ready for combat."
    "No. You saw what that harvester did. Every person we lose, they gain. If those things get on OUR ship, we're toast." says the Arch-Militant.
    Rogue Trader turns to me.
    "GM, is there any way to save the ship?"
    >That is up to you.
    "There isn't, Captain. Let's just blow it up." says the Seneschal.
    "If you just blow it up, the Slaugth will fall to our planet." says the Voidmaster.
    Suddenly, the ship starts MOVING. Cameras at the plasma drives display the same strange fleshy stuff now on the computers.
    "I've lost contact with the plasma drives." says the Explorator, "The ship is moving toward our world."
    "Perhaps overloading the warp drive can take everything out?" asks the Voidmaster.
    "It's our best option. Can the Warp Core be set to overload from here?" asks the Explorator.
    "Okay, then!" says the Explorator.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)23:08 No.14873691
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    The Explorator then works on setting the warp core to self-destruct as multiple Slaugth combat forms bust through the walls. For every slaugth that falls, two more replace it. They use a variety of weapons the former crew used, from boltguns to stubbers to plasma repeaters. The players take cover and valiantly hold the slaugth off until the Explorator finishes his job. They then retreat back out, toward their lander, shooting out Slaugth along the way. They finally reach the lander, and gun it out of the cargo bay. They see the ship continue on for a bit, until the warp core overloads, begins extending outward, and finally collapses in on itself. No trace of the Slaugth seemingly remain.

    "...wow, that was intense." says the Arch-Militant.
    "Let's not piss those guys off again." says the Seneschal.
    "This isn't fair. I wanted that ship." sighed the Rogue Trader.

    The party decided to head back down for drinks and celebrations to their moon, and we called the session there.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)23:09 No.14873702
    And that is the end of that. I wanted to do more with the slaugth, but

    1) I lacked the time
    2) The Explorator kept making Flood jokes

    I decided not to.

    One moment while I prep the next story.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)23:10 No.14873714
    I'm sure somebody has asked this, but how often do you play?
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)23:12 No.14873727

    We played every Friday for the past two semesters. The game ended a month ago. I just tell stories now as I record them.
    >> Riders of the Light Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)23:15 No.14873764
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    A month before, the party rolled Daemonic Incursion. The Rogue Trader literally got on his knees and prostrated himself, begging that it not happen. Well, I waited a month. So it didn't happen. Immediately. Then it happened.

    The party is wondering where to go, as after the last fight the Rogue Trader refused to move out of the system, because he was still "waiting for plot."

    >So, where are you going.
    "I don't know." Rogue Trader says.
    >What do you mean, you don't know?
    "I've never had the choice before."
    "Yes you have!" said the Arch Militant, "it's just that everytime the GM mentioned the name of a planet you set sail immediately!"
    >He's sort of right. You do like to jump the gun.
    "Well, fine. So, where can we go?"
    >Well, the-
    "And this time, nobody say anything. I want to hear all the options." states the Rogue Trader.
    We all raise our eyes. I give him some choices.
    "Let's go to the first one, the Planet of Vikings." says the Rogue Trader.
    "You mean all that bitching, and you still went with the first one?" asked the Explorator.
    "Just set the course. We're going to the Planet of Vikings."
    "Okay." says the Voidmaster.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)23:15 No.14873775
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    The party experiences some turbulence the first half of the warp journey, but rolled all clear the second half.
    "Okay, we're above planet. Let's-"
    >Hold up.
    >Stuff is happening.
    "No it's not. We rolled all clear." he points at his dice triumphantly.
    >Who's in the bridge?
    "Uh, I am." says the Voidmaster."
    >Okay. You see-
    "Nothing! We rolled all clear!" yells the Rogue Trader.
    >Shut the fuck up. So Voidmaster, you're chilling in the Bridge doing God Emperor knows what when suddenly Mr. Squawkers the robo-bird starts flipping out.
    "I KNEW that thing would come in handy!" says the Seneschal.
    >Fluffles charges through the door, rather angrily.
    "Oh crap!" says the Voidmaster.
    >Fluffles runs to the window and begins barking. You see the form of a giant serpent phase through your ship. It glares at you through the bridge window, heads to your Gellar Field Statue, and bites its head off.
    "Screw this! I'm bringing us out of the warp!" she yells.
    >You find yourself above this ratty looking planet. You see volcanoes and shit all across it. The serpent thing starts heading toward the planet.
    "Is it possible to fix? 8 Degrees of success on Lore Archaeotech." says the Explorator.
    >Fix it? Totally. But you need that head.
    "Ha, the Explorator needs head." laughs the Arch-Militant.
    "...wow." says the Rogue Trader.
    "You douche."
    >Piss off. You knew this was coming.
    "I'm going to sleep."

    And the Rogue Trader went to sleep on my couch.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)23:16 No.14873777
    >Planet of Vikings

    I wish I lived there.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)23:17 No.14873793
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    The voidmaster looks around. It seems the planet is surrounded by some sort of warpstorm. So the Seneschal calls for an augury of the planet. Almost nothing worth even considering. At first. Strange energy fluctuations are discovered on the first scan. However, during the second scan, the fluctuations seem to have changed positions. The only constant is that the warpstorm energy is originating from the planet. Seneschal gets the team together, and prepares to land on planet, at least to potentially find gellar field parts. As they are getting on the Aquila lander, Fluffles suddenly charges through and sits on the Aquila, panting happily.

    "Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?" says the Seneschal.
    Fluffles barks happily.

    Also before leaving, the Voidmaster is visited by Asterales Lux. His servoskull hovers by.
    "Can you feel it, my princeps? I sense battle."
    "I'll keep an eye out." says the Voidmaster.
    "I will await your word, and only your word." She stuffs Asterales into her bag.

    The party flies down to the surface, landing in a small crater. At this point, Fluffles charges out at almost 60 km/s, barking happily at something.
    "...Well then." says the Seneschal, "Let's follow him!"
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)23:21 No.14873815
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    The party works on tracking Fluffles through prints in the volcanic sand. As the players pass by lava floes and obsidian outcroppings under a red dusty sky, they see a citadel, like an old medieval castle. Walking closer, they notice that it is three layers deep, and the gates are open. Walking in, they notice an almost feudal atmosphere. People in dusty robes are walking around, trading for small trinkets and bits. The Arch-militant, having grown up on a deathworld, notes that the money does not appear to be Imperial Thrones, and as such advises caution. The Explorator expresses his disappointment by using some of the peasants as target practice. What worries him, though, is the lack of guards. The Voidmaster asks one of the locals where the rulers are. They point to the citadel's keep. Seneschal decides to march the group right up and open the front doors.

    The doors open to an incredibly opulent palace. Fine tapestries hang from the walls as soft rugs lay underfoot. The servants of the castle, all women, wear the finest satins and velvets. They immediately begin treating the players to fine foods and wines. By now, Rogue Trader has woken up, and is attempting to get his charm on...
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)23:21 No.14873821
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    "Well, hello. It's not often we get visitors." A blond-haired fair woman walks out, wearing a purple dress and a black corset.
    "Well hello there! And who might you be?"
    Rogue Trader, I could see it now, was not going to approach this logically. His fall.
    "My name is not important. What brings you to my humble home?"
    "We have a problem. A daemon ate our Gellar Field, and we're looking for a new one. Might you know where to get one?"
    "CAPTAIN WHY ARE YOU TELLING HER THIS?!" whispers the Seneschal.
    "Don't worry, I'm in complete control."
    >mon visage
    "Well, I can't quite say, but I think I can help, but I need to to do me a favor. There's been this pesky bug in my side for a while now."
    "Let me guess. You want us to kill him?"
    "Would you?"
    "Sure thing."
    "Don't worry! I got this!" says the Rogue Trader.
    "Excellent! He can be found in an old keep to the east of here, a few days of travel but nothing for you I trust. Do be careful - he likes heavy weapons, though they wouldn't be heavy for him. I'll await your return."
    The woman walks away.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)23:23 No.14873839
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    Walking outside...
    "Captain, you are an idiot." says the seneschal.
    "Don't worry! I got it all planned out. After we kill this guy, we kill her!" says the Rogue Trader.
    "It's never that easy..." sighs the Seneschal.
    "I wonder what she meant by 'not heavy for him'..." muses the Arch Militant.
    "And does anyone else notice that in the sky?" The Explorator notices strange currents of energy coming from the citadel.
    "Who knows - let's just kill this guy." mutters the Rogue Trader.
    "Hey, I found Fluffles's tracks! They're heading east as well!" says the Seneschal.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)23:24 No.14873855
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    Following the tracks east over a few days, they reach an old ruined building, adamantite and stone melded together in what was once an elegent yet powerful bulwark, now a ruin covered in pockmarks and holes. There was a battle here, the explosive remnants still laying around. Entering the keep, one thing stands out - the halls appear to be covered in blacklight projectors, making it relatively hard to navigate. The deeper one gets in the ruin, the more blacklights there are. Finally, they reach a central area, a 'throne room' if you will. the blacklights highlight a circle of space in the center of this hall.

    "Hello? Anyone there?" yells the Rogue Trader.
    "Why have you come?" A voice echoes through the darkness.
    The players turn around, and from the darkness emerges a man.

    No, not quite. Can you still call an Astartes a man? Specifically an Astartes in pale blue unmarked armor?
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)23:25 No.14873863
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    I'm pretty sure I've told this story before but let me tell it again. So, the Gellar Field flickers for two seconds and BOOM Deamons everywhere. We eventually cleared most of them until our Explorator (who is 90% machine) get's pulled into the airlock with the last one. As we stand outside the airlock door looking in, this is what the rest of the party hears:

    EXPLORATOR: "Oh, look there's a release airlock lever in here..."
    >DEAMON: Wait human! Don't be foolish! You'll die too!
    "Will I? Oh well, anything to destroy warpspawn I guess-"
    >Here, listen to me, My Gods can grant you power, or knowledge, or wealth!!! All you would have to do is spare me and worship them!
    >More power than all the Imperium holds!
    >The doors to the black library will be open to you!
    "And wealth?"
    >More money than you could ever spend! All you must do is kneel before the dark gods! My gods can grant all of this!
    "Interesting... but, tell me this, can your gods grant me the power to breath in the Void?"
    "HA-HA, MINE CAN!!!!!"

    At which point the Explorator slams the "Open Airlock" lever and is sucked out into the Void with the Deamon who I guess died. When we picked up the Explorator 30 minutes later he was still laughing.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)23:25 No.14873864
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    "The slaaneshi whore sent you, didn't she?"
    "Yes, she did." says the Seneschal.
    "What's a Slaanesh?" asks the Rogue Trader.
    "Then she has sent you to kill me."
    "She did." states the Seneschal.
    "She promised you something."
    "Yes. A Gellar Field." says the Rogue Trader.
    "She has played you for a fool."
    "I don't suppose you have an alternative."
    "I have no gellar field. But the Slaaneshi whore probably does. She uses daemons extensively - she may even have yours."
    "I figured as much. It seemed too convenient." says the Seneschal.
    "Will you help us?" asks the Rogue Trader.
    "My brothers will know when to strike. The whore will be your problem."
    "...how do we know we can trust you?" asks the Rogue Trader.

    Suddenly, through the darkness, there is a clanging, getting progressively louder. A blur of red shoots past the party, hits the Seneschal and tackles him to the ground. Then starts slobbering all over his face.

    "GOOD BOY, FLUFFLES! HAVE SOME GROX JERKY" says the Seneschal.
    "It is rare to find one who can tame a Juggernaut. But rarer still to find one without its armor. My warsmith resolved that problem for you. The Slaaneshi whore is your problem. We will know when to strike."

    The blue-armored Astartes fades into the shadows.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)23:26 No.14873877
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    "Well then, let's show the whore who's boss." says the Rogue Trader.
    The seneschal merely facepalms, then turns to me.
    "So what does this armor give Fluffles?"
    >You can use the stats in Creatures Anathema for a Juggernaut. You can ride him as well.
    "Wait, I can ride him?" interjects the ROgue Trader.
    >Seneschal can. Seneschal has been taking care of it, feeding it, even somehow fucking befriending it the entire campaign.
    "But I fed it too once!"
    >Precisely. Once.
    "Not fair."

    A few days trek west, back to the citadel. Explorator continues his new favorite pastime he dubs "peasant popping" as they make their way toward the keep. The doors open once again, and the woman in purple greets them from a high balcony.

    "Well! The heroes return! Is he dead?"
    "Yes." says the Rogue Trader.
    "Good. Now to tie up some loose ends."
    The woman raises her hand. The servants in the room run in a line, and also raise their hands. POMF. They weren't women, they were really daemonettes.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)23:28 No.14873895
    >Juggernaught as pet
    >Deadpan snarker senechal
    >Gung-ho Trader

    Where have I been all these threads?
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)23:28 No.14873899

    Oh Emperor... Please tell me that actually happened, and, if so, who that was. I want them at my table.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)23:29 No.14873911
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    The players fight through the daemonettes. The mysterious woman also joins the fray. With a psychically charged whip, she tore through defenses, and the look on the Rogue Trader's face when he couldn't parry because flexible was magnificent. But the Rogue Trader decided, 'Hey if I kill her maybe the daemons will go away." The rest of the players are left to deal with the Daemonettes while Rogue Trader rushes into combat. The Seneschal pulls out his Hammer of Dawn, and blasts a hole in the roof with the orbital lances. The party suddenly hears bolter fire outside.

    "I guess they got the message." says the Seneschal.

    One rather funny moment was when she tried to cast a psychic power, and Perils'd. All the guns jammed within 5d10 meters.
    >So your guns jam, and-
    "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Our guns don't." taunts the Rogue Trader.
    >Yes, they do.
    "Nuh uh. Best Quality. HAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"
    >That doesn't help in this case.
    "What? Show me where."
    >"If a ROLL would result in jamming, it is a miss instead." The gun can still jam by psychic force. There is a difference between jamming from normal operations and physically forcing a jam."
    "Hey wait! I got a talent that can help! Does Gun Blessing help?" says the Explorator.
    >Hmm, yeah, it totally would.
    "Cool! And you guys said that talent would never come up!"
    And we laughed. Except the Rogue Trader.

    After a few rounds against her, she goes down. Rogue Trader gets smug, until she disappears in a puff of black smoke.

    "Very interesting. This requires more capable tools." She snaps her fingers.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)23:30 No.14873925
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    Seekers of Slaanesh charge the front, while Screamers of Tzeentch start blasting fireballs from the rear. The woman ports down for another go. Once again, Rogue Trader leaves the group high and dry while trying to kill the woman. He is getting blasted with fireballs and yelling at the rest of the party, essentially "I MUST KILL FAST AND BULLETS TOO SLOW." The party has barely taken out the daemons when Rogue Trader lands another deadly blow, looking smug again. Once again, black mist, and she teleports to the balcony.

    "Well, a big solution for a big problem." She snaps her fingers.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)23:31 No.14873941
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    I finally figured out who your Rogue Trader is.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)23:32 No.14873952
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    First Sphere Heresy - Daemonic Serpent, Rakasya.

    The same Rakasya that ate the head of their Gellar Field.

    She once again takes the field. The Rakasya, if you do not know, has the pre-nerf Daemonic/Unnatural Toughness combination. It had Toughness Bonus 24. It could attack everything around it. It could phase in and out, obscuring the ability to hit it. Rogue Trader once again beats up the Slaaneshi woman, who then teleports back to her balcony.

    "Well, I'd love to stay, but I have so much more important things to do!"
    "It's the effects of the warp, dude. We're on a daemon world." says the Arch-Militant.
    "It's not fair."
    >Welcome to the Warp.

    The party works together to take out the Rakasya, the Seneschal and Fluffles charging around happy as can be while the Arch-Militant rocket jumps around shooting it with Filament grenades. Voidmaster unfortunately is not doing much with her hellgun, but she is trying. The Explorator snikts the bub. Rogue Trader is whining about how he wants to summon the Titan but the Voidmaster says it's not necessary. The Rakasya finally goes down, but before fading away, it spits out the Gellar Field head. Explorator hefts it.

    >Can you even carry that?
    "Apparently with my TB + SB I can carry over 9000 kg."
    >Meh, close enough.

    The Astartes bursts in, his brothers shooting at cultists.
    "Don't let her leave!" he yells.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)23:35 No.14873990
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    The players immediately run outside, to the roof of the Citadel. They can see the three walls, and the woman on the far side. She raises her hand, and from below the ground starts to give as a massive Slaaneshi Subjugator rises.

    Voidmaster reaches into her bag.
    "Yes, my princeps?"
    "It's time."
    "To war!"
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)23:36 No.14874000
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    Lightning flashes in the sky as Asterales Lux the Warlord Titan rises from under the citadel itself. The titan releases an access ladder so the party can board it.

    The Subjugator is fast, VERY fast. and they seem to not be doing much. The Subjugator raises its arm, and in a bolt of lightning, appears an enormous blastmaster, which starts launching pure sound at the players. Their void shields hold, but they find themselves at an impasse. Until the Titan voxcaster chimes in. It appears to be the Astartes.

    "Raise your arm yourself, see if your Emperor assists you."

    Voidmaster raises the arm of Asterales Lux.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)23:39 No.14874027
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    Lightning appears once again, except when the Titan brings down its arm, there is a gigantic axe - a Gibson Les Paul in the shape of an Aquila.


    Asterales Lux and the Slaaneshi Subjugator trade blows, laser fire, and chords with each other, and everyone's having a rockin' good time.

    Except the Rogue Trader.

    "Hey, so this does damage that ignores armor based on the degrees of success of my Charm, right?"
    "The fists do more damage. Let's drop the Guitar and-"
    "No. I am NOT dropping the guitar. This is way too awesome." says the Voidmaster.
    "But the fists do so much more damage."
    "Drop the guitar!"
    Rogue Trader starts sulking.

    Finally, the subjugator seems to have had enough. Its leg gives out, and it drops its blastmaster.

    The controls fold away, revealing a single joystick.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)23:40 No.14874036


    I have no idea what is happening in this thread but that made me laugh so fucking hard. When I heard the music, that is when it all came together.

    Also I love the Bayonetta references.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)23:40 No.14874037
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    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)23:41 No.14874047
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    The guitar fades away as Asterales Lux raises its fists. The two fist operators ram the fists together, creating a power surge. Above the bridge of the Titan, panels fold away to reveal a light refracting mechanism. The energy builds up instantaneously as the Voidmaster aims and fires the energy surge at the subjugator. The lance of energy pierces the Subjugator, which explodes to the delight of all.

    Chrome Busted.

    "I love this thing." the Voidmaster says.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)23:44 No.14874066
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    The party heads back to their ship, and the Explorator fixes the Gellar Field. As they leave the Emperor-forsaken world, and try to brush off some of the corruption they got, they get one last voxcast.

    "You've helped me out a fair bit. You have no idea how much. You should have everything you need now. You won't see us again. Death to the enemies of the False Emperor."
    "Let's get out of here, captain." says the seneschal.
    "But he seemed like a pleasant fellow. We bring him with us." says the Rogue Trader.
    >What. That was...I...4 more corruption points.
    "...no." says the Rogue Trader.
    "No." He looks scared, as if he's trying to make a stand.
    >You will take those corruption points. I guarantee it.
    Rogue Trader is silent.

    I then give out XP.
    "And Profit Factor is?" Asks Rogue Trader. He gets out his pencil.
    "None? Why not?"
    >You don't get profit factor from a misfortune.

    And we called it there, as they decided to head back to their moon.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)23:45 No.14874078
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    Afterwards, the Arch-Militant comes up to me.
    "He was a chaos mehreen, wasn't he."
    "What legion?"
    "Night Lords. Based off the blacklight projectors."
    >Nope. Night Lords would have some insignia and markings identifying them as such.
    "Wait, identity...they were Alpha Legion!"
    "We got off lucky."
    >Nobody knows their true allegiance and intentions. Perhaps it's best not to find out.

    Overall, a great session.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)23:47 No.14874095
    I have an Alpha Legion related story, but its DH not Rogue Trader.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)23:49 No.14874114
    My rouge trader was recently given a newly colonized world to govern.

    What do?
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)23:49 No.14874115
    >"What's a Slaanesh?" asks the Rogue Trader.

    This man deserves a medal.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)23:49 No.14874121
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)23:50 No.14874133

    And they never suspected it was Alpha Legion?

    Alpha Legion done right.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)23:53 No.14874149
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    I was rolling an Arch-militant for a new campaign a friend was running, ended up rolling very high strength, piss-poor int, etc. Friend looked at the stats, said something along the lines of 'haha, looks like an ogryn."

    We stared at each other for a minute, and then he asked if I'd like to actually play an ogryn Arch-militant. I agreed instantly.

    We scraped together a fairly reasonable-looking set of ogryn stats and traits, and ended up with a fairly solid, if somewhat bizarre character. I even had a few points left and took basic medicae training because the party didn't have one, and even with the low int backing it up, something's better than nothing, right?

    Rolled to name him, and ended up having to take a female name. My friend offered me a re-roll if it really bothered me, but I had a stroke of inspiration (or something) and told him I'd go with it, but he had to accept the surname I'd come up with.

    He agreed, and so was born Vyn Promethium, Ogryn Arch-militant.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)23:53 No.14874153
    Thats awesome.
    >> Captain Baha 05/09/11(Mon)23:54 No.14874159
    So I'm thinking of running a RT game, and this will be the music that opens it EVERY TIME.

    It just... fits, so well. Especially since the group would be one of the more destructive/profit-obsessed groups out there.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/09/11(Mon)23:54 No.14874162

    I tried to make sure it was as ambiguous as possible, and it succeeded at the time. Nobody suspected.
    >> Anonymous 05/09/11(Mon)23:56 No.14874172
    I've had an entire Dark Heresy campaign where the acolytes are working with "Ultramarines" to "destroy a chaos artifact" and only in the last session realize who they were dealing with.
    >> Anonymous 05/10/11(Tue)00:02 No.14874227
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    >Titan Rockoff
    >I will never see something like this in my game
    >> Anonymous 05/10/11(Tue)00:09 No.14874287
    What I'd like to know is how this Rogue trader can walk and breathe at the same time. He's so idiotic.

    I mean, he even tries to ask the GM for help as if some sort of game guide. What the fuck.
    >> Brother-Captain Fumbles 05/10/11(Tue)01:39 No.14875051
    bump for more delicious tales
    >> Anonymous 05/10/11(Tue)02:13 No.14875355
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    Greetings my brethren! My group has just finished with a nearly year long Rogue Trader campaign and boy did we have the time of our lives with it! The campaign told the tale of Rogue Trader Astorius Darlin and his command staff as they smash through Yu'vath remnants, meddle with Craftworld Kael and even face the dreaded Chaos Space Marines in the process all the while building up influence, their fleet and armies.

    It all began with an exploration mission to the mysterious Aegis system alongside an Inquisitor from the Ordo Malleus called "Zhou". As it turns out the system had been out of contact for nearly a century and was largely destroyed and the rest was under the control of what we presumed to be a Daemonhost. The battle itself was short, bloody and to the point, but in the end even a daemon could not stand against the might of House Darlin! (The Inquisitor contributed by having his spine broken)

    Afterwards we learned of a rogue inquisitor that was trying to get us killed. Wait... is this Dark Heresy or Rogue Trader? Well anyway, we had a lot of fun with the political machinations of the Houses (think of a crossover between A Song of Ice and Fire, Warhammer 40k and Pirates of the Caribean and you've got it) that resulted in vast armadas fighting against aliens, heretics and daemons. Oh, and Astorius beat a Chaos Space Marine Captain in a duel.
    >> Anonymous 05/10/11(Tue)02:35 No.14875560
    >be bored as fuck one night, and DM has nothing prepared.
    >Party asks for a random encounter.
    >learns of someone smuggling drugs from some hobo.
    >The three of us, all woefully under equipped for what the DM had rolled up, burst through the door into the warehouse and Judge grabs the nearest cloaked figure and swings him around to sentence him to give him his fair trial.
    >It is squishy.
    >insanity test as it removes its hood. Worms.
    >Our bullets cant get through its toughness and armor.
    >Its techno-abominations are firing flesh melting beams at us.
    >Slaugth chases us out into the streets of Scintilla.
    >Call for backup over all frequencies.
    >All we can do is run, one of us has already been vaporized.
    >beg our Lord Inquisitor friend to come as fast as he possibly can. Death is nigh.
    >Suddenly, the ceiling above us explodes.
    >Down from the heavens, the Lord Inquisitor gracefully lands in front of Slaugth.
    >Lunges at the monstrosity with his golden blade.
    >DM gets bemused look on his face: Lord Inquisitor missed horribly.
    >Slaugth all out attacks him and turns him into a pile of ash before us.
    >Blows up its warehouse and escapes into the Hive, but not before sending us a telepathic message: "No one will ever believe you."
    >No one does.
    >Swear Revenge against all slaugth kind
    >> Anonymous 05/10/11(Tue)02:38 No.14875592
    Ah, Slaugth My players have learned to hate them too.

    I nearly killed them with one. Then they, heavily wounded, sneaked up on another pair- And oneshotted them with so much autofire and righteous fury. I seriously expected them to just die, considering how much trouble they had with the first.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 05/10/11(Tue)02:41 No.14875613

    One day I'll see what players do when they meet Pure-form Slaugth.

    Maybe in Deffwotch...
    >> Anonymous 05/10/11(Tue)03:48 No.14876096
    Played my first game of RT the other day. Shit was so cash.

    Towards the end of the session, we had just saved a Pilgrim vessel that was under attack by a pirate. After dispatching the pirate via a combination of RAMMING SPEED and SHOOT THEM WITH OUR SWORDS, we found out that their navigator was dead and they couldn't plot a course through the warp without him.

    Our navigator, being the helpful soul, suggests that he could plot out a course for them. It would be mostly automated, a lot more dangerous than having a navigator on ship, but it would get them there.

    The trip SHOULD have taken them 130 days through the warp. A hell of a long, dangerous trip and only possible because of the warp drives they had and the archaeotech stasis booths they used for the crew.

    Our navigator botched every roll he made for them.

    The end result was thus; He told them it would take 200 days and plotted the exit vector accordingly. The route he sent them on would take more than 500 days to complete, so they'll end up dropping out halfway. They will also be totally lost, because he sent them in the absolute wrong direction.

    And they will be out of supplies when they get there.
    >> Anonymous 05/10/11(Tue)03:58 No.14876155

    Our group has had a few encounters with the Slaugth, generally resolved by pouring on firepower and yet more firepower. They are all kinds of horrible.

    On the plus side, my Techpriest has a steadily expanding collection of Slaugth tech to research, but can't use any of it on account of not having masses of squirming maggots for hands. Which is probably just as well, as swinging a Necrotic Sceptre around is liable to get one purged, and purged hard.
    >> Anonymous 05/10/11(Tue)05:39 No.14876842
    >130 unnavigated trip through the warp
    >botched rolls

    If they make it there at all it'll be a bloody miracle. Unless they're relying on lots of short, 5 light year hops.

    Sell them xenotech to collectors. What could possibly go wrong?
    >> Anonymous 05/10/11(Tue)08:10 No.14877598

    GM has decided they will make a return at some stage later in the plot.

    Never said they would make it, though.

    Also, just had another session, Rogue Traders looted the pirate vessel and took it in for repairs - leaving a skeleton crew behind and the Religious head of a Death Cult to lead it. Head back to the battle site to see if there is anything more to loot rather than waiting.

    Come back after the ship is due to be repaired.

    Crew have made off with the ship, they are left with a message from the Rogue Traders ex-Flag Lieutenant who they disgraced into quitting the service.
    >> Anonymous 05/10/11(Tue)09:09 No.14877912
    You fools! You never leave the new converts unattended!

    My own group went through that same scenario. Lucky lance hit hit the warp drive of one raider, condemning thousands of souls to an eternity of torment. That, coupled with a bit of fancy talk from my trader and a swift mutiny on the remaining raider, ended the hostilities quickly. Old captain was tried and hauled away to be servitored up by the explorator (and/or experimented, as he is wont to do), remaining crew and the support platform hidden nearby were sworn into the dynasty after alot of song and dance about serving the Emperor, penance and hinting at riches down the road. Hopefully they'll decide that sticking with our dynasty is worth their while. If not, well, that's why we snuck several members of our ship's deathcult aboard. That should keep them busy long enough for us to ship over armsmen to beat any mutineers into submission.
    >> Anonymous 05/10/11(Tue)09:18 No.14877962
    So we are trying to sneak up into this Rogue Traders house in Footfall. The Kroot pack and the Sene are sneaking up while I (a tp), another tp and our rt smooth talk. SUDDENLY KILLER XENOS DOGS! The KP player was afk (this was an online group) for a good 20 so the gm goes on with the game. Dude loses 4 Kroot. Was HILARIUS.
    >> Anonymous 05/10/11(Tue)10:09 No.14878231
    My GM is going to allow me to get a Repulsive class grand cruiser with three archeotech and two xeno components for free.
    Which components I should choose for build a very munchkin ship?
    >> Anonymous 05/10/11(Tue)10:11 No.14878243
    >> Anonymous 05/10/11(Tue)10:18 No.14878287
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    >Firstly you must always implicitly obey orders, without attempting to form any opinion of your own regarding their propriety. Secondly, you must consider every man your enemy who speaks ill of your king; and thirdly you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil.

    >When I am without orders and unexpected occurrences arrive I shall always act as I think the honour and glory of my King and Country demand. But in case signals can neither be seen or perfectly understood, no captain can do very wrong if he places his ship alongside that of the enemy.

    >My greatest happiness is to serve my gracious King and Country and I am envious only of glory; for if it be a sin to covet glory I am the most offending soul alive.

    >Our country will, I believe, sooner forgive an officer for attacking an enemy than for letting it alone.

    God Damn but Nelson would have made one of the finest Imperial Navy officers that the Calixis Sector has ever seen.
    >> Anonymous 05/10/11(Tue)10:34 No.14878378
    There's a reason that the "Master & Commander" talent exists in RT, you know.
    >> Anonymous 05/10/11(Tue)10:49 No.14878448
    Come on OP, Tell us more, tell us more about your players, what they're like, why your Rogue Trader is as thick as he is lucky to have competent people surrounding him?
    >> Anonymous 05/10/11(Tue)12:35 No.14879056
    Shas, why is your rogue trader such a little bitch? Why does your group tolerate him?
    >> Anonymous 05/10/11(Tue)13:02 No.14879259
    He does Shas' homework. That, and Shas' love for devouring the tears of the unworthy, is why he gets to play.
    >> Anonymous 05/10/11(Tue)13:21 No.14879451
    Every killed a midboss with a dodgeball? I have (apologies in advance to my Gm but this was great).

    So we get to the session early, and we're joking around. My GM says "You must spend 14 hours farming schpupel for your liege" "what the hell is schpupel?" "I dunno, look it up."
    >Look up schpupel
    >laugh hilariously
    So in session, while everyone else is doing plot-relevant things, I go out and look for Schpupel seeds. I find them with my horrible commerce check ( I should mention I am a Tech-Priest/Genetor, with a ballin' fellowship of 22). I proceed to easily buy the seeds (which are rare apparently) with our 80+ profit factor. I plant that shit and then constantly bother the GM to check on its growth. Like 2 sessions from the end, it finally finishes. The description was epic enough, and the trees grow skateboards and dodge balls. “How much damage do they do?” “Hmm… lets say…1d10+5+str, primitive”
    So later in the session, we are facing this mecha-dragon thing, and its kicking our shit. GM says it’s my go.
    >Character built for melee, so isn’t much good in midair combat
    >Remembers the schpupel dodge ball does damage based on strength (my main stat as a melee tank)
    >Party member had just destroyed the casing covering its weak point (to be hit for massive damage)
    “This is a bad idea! Called shot dodge ball”
    >Rolled 9=9+5+Str Bonus(15)=29
    >> Anonymous 05/10/11(Tue)17:39 No.14881492
         File1305063589.png-(16 KB, 500x500, 1284918021092.png)
    16 KB
    Come on, there have to be other epic stories waiting to be told, I can't believe that this thread is already on its way to the graveyard.

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