Flim, the gnome artificer, trying out his new invention, "the goggles of detect sexual orientation", on his all-female party.

This is James. James is a 34 year old accounting clerk in Austin. He's never really amounted to much in his life. He has a shitty, dead-end job with no prospects of advancement. He lives with his grandmother because he needs the Carer's Pension to make ends-meet. He is single and has been single for the last 14 years since July Maddson spread the rumour he had a tiny dick back in College. He is below average height, above average weight and is utterly unremarkable in every way.

James can read minds. He can read minds and he can write them, too. He spends hours down in the basement with his Grandmother, writing and re-writing her mind. One day, when he's ready, he'll re-write his own mind. Then James will be a better man.

Cartoon Clint Eastwood coming out of bar, for last standoff with the outlaw.

Celestial Eagle, the summoned celestial eagle, after having been given the order to fly down a corridor in the Tomb of Horrors to check for traps.

Flint the nihilistic pyromancer strikes again.

Ana Fayle, a telepath, gloating over her victims as she psychically chokes them to death

This is Adam. Adam is a 27 year old actor from Australia. He's recently moved to Austin to try and improve his job prospects as a performer. He's not really known on the scene, but his performance of Iago is to die for. Although he is physically unstriking, he has a presence of personality which dominates the room where-ever he goes.

Adam has been getting strange headaches lately. Flashes of light behind his eyes and sharp stabbing pains in his pupils. He hears things that he can't. He knows what you're thinking. He wishes you'd stop thinking that. Who the hell is James? Stop calling him James.

He'll make you stop calling him James.

Your name is Sarah.

Calton opened the chamber door and saw the Beholders.

This is Hector, an ex-cleric. His search for purity began in a decadent coastal town, where he lost all belief in the goodness of mankind. He continues throughout the world, "purifying" reality the only way he knows how - erasing it.

This is Alfred Nimmberg. He's a soldier in the German Wehrmacht, and he's listening to his buddy Gunther (not pictured), who is telling Alred a dirty joke about his mother (also not pictured).

Irwin the fighter, unfazed by the water's queen attempt to slow his assault, chugs down a potion of bull's strength.

Daves 'Oranges' Glumm is a fifty-three year old mob boss in the body of a diabetic two-year old. He's super-pissed because he's a fifty-three year old mob boss in the body of a diabetic two-year old.

This is Kell Degat. The monk in the party just tried using his stunning fist on the dragon again.

>>14815422
>>14815472
I like where this is going.

>Alan didn't know why or how he had become imprisoned in the television set, nor did he feel he should care. After a whole life of ignominy, the world would know his face as the first human being to lead a two-dimensional life - and if he was not mistaken, he felt a network of optical fibers stretching his visage into the realm of all other digital media, a force to which he'd gladly yield. After all, why settle for mere attention? Soon, all electronic communication would be the embodiment of his mind, and the world his quivering mass of subordinate flesh.

This is ... fuck, I dunno, do owlbears have names? This is, uh, Sally, and her mate was just hacked to pieces to use in Prestidigation, presumably, and Sally's gettin' stuck in.

>>14815518
and zen, zey get down und BOOGIE!

This is Sarah.

She is...she...I....

This is Sarah.

El'rez, an elven druid, has finally beaten his arch-nemis Serlus in single combat where both have taken their beast forms.

This is Jim Reynolds. He's a city guard who just had sex with a dragon. Her shape shifting missed a few scales.

After months of planing, John, the midget lich, finaly achieves his revenge on the children who mocked him so.

Now! They shall taste his fury!

This is Leer.
No not the guy in the gas mask.
The moth on his head.
The moth is named Leer.
He Is a illusionist and he kills with his mind!

Orius, psyker of the Imperium, after he has just read your mind.

graz, after being told by a lousy git that he cant be in the WAAAGH

Tom, a wizened old merchant, after drinking Skavenbrew.

>>14815422
>>14815472
>>14815596

I like this.

this man is barat obongo, a camel dealer. he is happy because he made a good deal. he will spend his hard earned money at the local whorehouse (and some absinthe too).

Frederic, the epic level bard, used his skill in intimidation to strike fear and confusion to his fellow man

This is Bill. Bill isn't exactly a nice person, if a bit paranoid. And at the moment he's a bit busy dealing with someone trying to kill him. Again.

>>14815907
This is Wade.
He is trying to kill Bill....
AGAIN.

The Bo'Kehpk was without question, Dr Diolens least successful experiment. Certainly, there was an appreciable aesthetic, indeed, a beauty to the way their stocky, brutish, un even, yet suprisingly nimble body, fused and knit together, like a darling patchwork quilt of flesh, organs and etcetera, and it was mobile, which was a plus, and so far had not shat itself inside out like so many of his other....works...

If only he could get the two heads to stop arguing.

Reginald Winterfell, ex-captain in the duke's guard, retired successful adventurer, bane of the Northern Goblin Tribes, Winner of Lord Hemrich's Tournament of '98 (that is 1398), slayer of Yggressich The Red Terror of the West and since the biggest landowner this side of Shriekhill Forest (now dividied up between five of his eight half-elf children). Currently sitting in the tavern down in the village he practically owns looking at the latest newflangled adventuring party in their shiny fancy magical armours (he was lucky to get a ring that could give him some water twice a day) who just slayed a dozen trolls on their first adventure.

Weisman.

At first glance, this armless barbarian looks to be taunting his foes, but is in fact taunting his gays.

Nackramor, wandering Minstrel and servant of the Dead God, entertaining a group of newly orphaned child-prostitutes-to-be.

This is First Sergeant Leo and Abdul il Surbin (he's off camera down below).

First Sergeant Leo is testing the new boost function the mechanics installed in his tank. So far, he's digging it.

Abdul is about to be the first person in a warzone to ever killed by a flying tank. He was busy reloading and won't be able to move out of the way in time.

Captain Uberawsomeohmygodsweet, what he does is never less than the most awesome thing you have ever imagined and he has done it at least 3 times.

Probably a Solar Exalted...

This is Gaston.

Gaston's having a Gargleblaster.

Fethren Boddywick, halfling "explorer," was incarcerated due to an honest misunderstanding over the provenance of certain objects d'art. While in the city lockup, she happens to notice the arrival of the guard payroll lockbox on its way to the bursar's office.

Darren is an evil necromancer who's had far too much drama in his life. In his un-life he wants a lot less drama.
Unfortunately he is beset by adventurers, who like dramatic entries, and complaining about his unhygienic tomb.

Hmmm /tg/ related persona?

Typical /tg/ 4th Edition D&D player in any thread that is not about 4th Edition D&D

(The actual horsecock is 4th Edition)

Teresa, a Level 1 Human PC.

Until recently she has been a rather normal person with a normal job and a great family. But after a band of adventurers came to town things went downhill bad. Her family and everyone she cares about have been killed by a demon of desire. Watching from hiding, she could do nothing to save them. And in that moment, her sanity snapped.

Arriving late to the battle between the adventurers and the demon, she was too late to stop the slaying of one of their number. Sanity eroded and revenge consuming her, she leads the charge against the foe.

It will be made to pay.

DISPLACER KITTENS!!!!

Ardir, the Human Rogue, reacts to being asked to 'save the village' for the umpteenth time pro-bono.

Groshnak, Devourer of Small Helpless Animals and Bane of the Five Hills, stumbles upon a moonlight elven frolic.

>>14816349
Now you're just being a jerk.

Orwald, the deadpan jester engages in his legendary social commentary by watching the bickering of petty nobility one evening at court. The dim witted spectators watch the argument. The more refined and informed members of the audience watch Orwald's own reaction to the events.

>No, I'm not the bird of paradise you were hunting, I'm that guy you see on the front of Pringles cans.
>nat 20
>Oh, ok, carry on.

This is a guard of the Imperial Watch.
Years of patrolling the streets of the Imperial City and fighting criminal scum have given him the ability to think like a criminal. Any criminal. Every criminal.

If you commit a crime anywhere in Cyrodiil he will be there, watching and waiting.

Time is but a window.
Son I am disappoint.

"Widget", the team's rigger, speaking to a Lone Star beat cop moments before becoming the target of a city-wide manhunt.

James was a cowboy, once. Back when there was still cattle to herd, still calves to rope... Hell, back when there were still cows!

Recently, he's been in a spot of bad luck, barely making it from paycheck to paycheck on his shitty cook's salary. He supposed that it was his just due, after all of the horrible things he did to get those cattle to the railways on time.

Today was his Fifty-first birthday, and he'd heard from one of his co-workers that something special was planned for him

Today, James was told by his boss that he couldn't come into work tomorrow, or the next day, or ever.

Devastated, James grabbed his old Colt, a priceless antique given to him by his father. "Not today!" cried the old man. "Not today..."

This is Linus Rajotte. He is a perfectly normal physician at a perfectly normal hospital. Sometimes he forgets to shave, but that failing is perfectly normal as well.

In his spare time, Linus reads mystery novels. Nobody knows this, although it isn't a secret--Linus simply doesn't seem the mystery novel type. That said, his collection of Christie stories alone is impressive.

Linus had a relationship back in college with a girl he met in a coffeeshop. Her name was Marcie Wilkins, and she liked Agatha Christie novels, too. They had a good run, but eventually Marcie broke it off when she moved to Rhode Island. The breakup was amicable, and the two of them are still friends.

His lack of noteworthiness aside, Linus' friendly disposition has earned him a good working relationship with most of his co-workers. He is often teased about his relationship with nurse Anne Bolinger, however. Linus has no romantic feelings for Anne, but he does consider her one of his closest friends, so when Anne sticks her hand into a bin of used needles and begins bleeding the wrong color blood, Linus is quite alarmed.

Tobias the Techmarine barely manages to restrain himself after being forced to work with an Eldar Witch in order to complete a common goal.

Balls the Blue Wizard.

He isn't welcome in most towns, in fact he's not even a wizard. He just pulls out his "wand" and begins casting "spells" on the local livestock.

Four-fingers Sedgwick has been sentenced to hanging for crimes including burglary (seven counts), arson (two counts) and unnatural acts with a halfling. In return for a pardon, he has agreed to acquire the Feelstone from the clifftop fortress of Arshrak, storm giant sorceress.

He has just glimpsed Arshrak for the first time.

Meowtimer the cat familiar, trying to gain his master's attention and warn him that danger is afoot.

This is Brother Axeibloodikus
He is learning the hard way that a motorcycle made of skulls, though an impressive piece of chaos engineering, actually does drive that well.
That skull that flew off, wasnt that supposed to be the brakes?

Stevra Shae'varyn, fourth daughter of Matron Kizren, has just learned that her father was a human and that she was an accident.

Chok Durzonk, unnaturally intelligent troll wizard, has his Permanent Image fail at perhaps the worst time.

This is the Emperor. He has left Terra to lead a holy crusade. But did he remember to turn the stove off?

Climbs Swiftly, the Tarsier:
Here we see our little friend after eating a bad piece of fruit, and having a terrible moment of clarity wherein he realizes that human civilization will soon end, and there will be no more fruit to be had easily, a vision of the End.

Mialee has just discovered the spell that forces unwilling men to become uncontrollably and painfully erect.

This is Paul, he just learn his family just got murdered while he was attending a fancy dinner part.

Battle Brother Jules after "getting into character" to punish the traitorous Brett

Gerald, the shopkeep can do little but react when Dorf the dwarf crit-failed his intimidation check for lower prices. The attempt was nothing but the dwarf giving the raspberry too hard, and soiling himself.

This is Steve. He was once a level 20 sorcerer, but had an accident while gazing into the neighboring planes of his region. He saw something so ballshateringly awesome that he forgot exactly what it was. His hair has not followed the laws of gravity since. All he remembers of the incident is that he witnessed beings of imense power. He now believes that the gods are these same entities, and he will never let you forget he believes it...

Regina calmly explained why, as a paladin, she wore boob-plate and a skirt instead of more reinforced armour.

Life in the human world took some adjusting, but this dryad was finally fitting in...

Jerrix Olysham, master wizard, attempts to explain exactly how his brilliant use of magic will save the party from certain death at the hand (or claws) of the ancient dragon they're fighting off.

...The rest of the party is less than convinced.

Things went badly for the crew of the Osiris when both of Engineer Thompson and Sergeant Bates' players both rolled ones on their attack rolls.

bump. i need more of this.

Ivan watches.

Ivan waits.

Ivan *knows*.

Snufflekins, the archmage's pet cat achieves sentience and begins his plot to usurp control of the kingdom from those filthy humans, and then...

THE WORLD!

He Who Can Posses All Items, Monk leader of Kung-Fu island, observes with pride as his monk disciple begins his own mastery of the art of holding all these items

An invisible trickster travels the world dropping sunglasses on unsuspecting animal faces.

Jukenshi was told of his elven wife's pregnancy today.

Jukenshi is not a happy man.

This is Kimiko. She is an investigator.

She has just failed a very important will save.

Captain Gerard O'Toole organizing his crew of space pirates into teams to scavenge through the wreckage of a downed enemy space ship.

this is jeffrey the owlbear, but as you can see, he has undergone a terrible transformation at the hands of the evil wizard st. bobberstein. he has stolen his owlness, leaving him with only his beary nakedness, no feathers or anything!

Swift, an animal companion, has been asked to spy on a lord for the purposes of revealing the location of his valuables in his bedroom.

Unfortunately, the lord has several people in the bedroom at the time. Swift has no idea what he is looking at.

Paladin Marcus just witnessed a necromancer kill and then reanimate an entire village. Understandably, Marcus was upset. The necromancer, who has yet to notice Marcus, is entirely fucked.

Roderick the Valiant is still trying to get the hang of his new, fuzzy form after being polymorphed into a kitten by a particularly spiteful witch.

>>14817201

>Goddamnit, Captcha

To protect his master, his home, and the fenced in world he loved so deeply, Ruffington forged a pact with a devil, sacrificing himself, just for one more "Good boy."

Inspector Pennysworth witnesses a particularly shocking display of depravity

Talstos, the king's messenger, has just received word of a massive enemy force marching on the capital, and needs to hire the fastest horse in town to ride and raise the alarm.

He can only pray that he gets there in time.

Sharl Jas'Lomir, elven bard, got high on shrieker caps the night before he was supposed to attend a party held by royalty. He had a terrible hangover the entire day.

Captain Smithson was not a brave man. If anything he was a coward. But, as he watched the perfect storm creep nearer and nearer he couldn't help but feel a touch of contentment. If he had to die, better he have no choice in the matter.

No one on the seas is safe from Babyfaced Jane and her scurvy crew of cutthroats!

God, if there's anything a Marine loves more than battle it's watching his enemy get blown up by artillary.

Life as a polymorphed bear really wasn't as different as Fred was worried.

What? Who? You mean old aqua-eyes over there? Yeah, what about her? She rolled into to town about three years ago and she's yet to say a word to any of us...

And honestly, I prefer it that way. She's not a normal one...

Tommy the stick figure drawing has just read this thread on /tg/ and is greatly amused.

>No, seriously, these are hilarious.

"PVT. JENKINS, WHAT THE FFUUUCCK ARE YOU DOING!?!?"

"I'm sorry, sir! I don't know what happened! Dear lord this hurts!"

"OF COURSE IT HURTS YOU SORRY SACK OF SHIT!!! IT'S BARB-WIRE!!!"

As Davidson awoke from the dreamless sleep he had found himself wrapped in on the long bus ride, he came to a realisation of sorts. Looking around he found that he saw everything differently, as if the small sleep had lifted and unknowable fog from his eyes. He saw the people as they really were. The fleshy stumps, the gauged open holes of eyes and mouths, and beneath the skin, he could feel the rustling call of a million screaming souls.

He wept.

That pitter patter of rain
On the tin roof of the bar
Reminded the man
Of his allies from afar

Where once his face was a frown
A grin was born anew
As his old friend cracked his attacker's crown
He was reunited with his old crew

Derrik Johanson, Cleric of Kord, is fed up with everyone's shit.

Pootis Spencer, the Mad Barbarian, is known far and wide in these parts. He appears out of the wild, laughing like a maniac and wielding an implausibly large warhammer to attack travellers, especially convoys of traders. No one's seen him express anything outside of pure joy bordering on screaming insanity.

Maurice, the fastest gunslinger in all of Botswana, is enraged when he finds out his horse has been stolen.
The horse thief is oblivious to the depth of shit he's in.

I bought a small prayer book from the Church of Brosidon...but this was the only page with anything on it.

Margaret Hopkins, specialist gourmand, is viewing the delicacy she's most recently acquired: you.

They call him the Pain-Train. He's a crazy son of a bitch.

Fancy's himself a Psionic... but that boy couldn't lift a boot full of piss with his "Powers"

No, he just hits people really hard while scream "MUTHAFUCKIN' MIND GAMES!!"

No one really understands him...

Scott staggered out of the burn ward of the hospital, hand full of scalpels as he wobbled towards the Adversary, the consumer of souls. It had hobbled his body and slain his loved ones in the great inferno, but he knew he could overcome the beast at last. Drawing the blade across his face, he howled a challenge of battle, the blood spilling and solidifying into armor. Soon, the forces of hell would know the fear of a Hematomancer scorned.

"What do you think he's dreaming about?"
"No damn clue, but he looks happy under the bandages."
"Yeah, he's on the good morphine. Poor bastard. He'll need it."

Dear sir! Yes, I have a question!

Before we, a rag-tag group of rebels, go to war against the mighty Empire, there is one thing I must know! If we are to win the day, you must answer me this:

...Is Mayonase a weapon?

A murder took place here last night. It was dark, in a deserted patch of field far away from the eyes of any human.

But Elisha the Druid knows that Nature has many eyes, a long memory, but a voice that few can hear.

Elisha can hear it. And he vows to bring the murderer to the justice that they thought they could escape.

>>14817396
The doctors left the room and turned off the lights, the room dark and silent. Scott turned and moaned in his sleep, the pain of the burns gone from now. The room echoed with the beeps of the machines and Scott's breaths, the rain quietly falling outside.

The door swung open and The Adversary grinned. It was time.

You know, fighters can wield shields, rogues can duel-wield, rangers can shoot bows, and anyone can fight with their hands.

What does the Warlord carry into battle?

Warriors

...THE PRINCESS!!!

THE PRINCESS IS THE EVIL WIZARD!!

Princess...How could you betray us like this!? HOW!?!?

The wicked Pyromancer simply known as Kindle burns down another settlement, but not after purchasing some kerosene and a red flag from the general store, for some unfathomable reason.

Monsanto the bard desperately attempts to inspire competence in his party. It is sorely needed.

"John? Is that really you? But... I.. that's impossible! I saw it! I saw those bullets punch right through your chest! That night, in the rain...how on earth did you survive that?

...And why did you never tell me?"

"Ok son... It's time for your final test... If you pass this, you are a man... RELEASE THE MONSTER!"

*Button Pressed*

"HOLY SHIT, DAD, I CAN'T FIGHT THAT!!!"

"SOUNDS LIKE ELF-TALK TO ME BOY!!! NOW GET THE FUCK IN THERE AND TEAR IT A NEW ASSHOLE!!!

>>14817489

James... I thought YOU were dead! I saw those bullets hit YOU!... Dear lord, what is going on!?

This is Jim. He is playing what he thought was a simple game of Dungeons and Dragons. He built a Half-Elf Paladin with high charisma. A few seconds ago, he learned everyone else at the table was playing some sort of anthropomorphic animal.

>>14817440
"And THAT'S how your parents met?"

Beth smiled and shrugged, nodding. Despite the red glare of her carapace, she felt like she was blushing. "They're actually madly in love with each other. So. Uh. How did YOUR parents meet?"

Luke wasn't exactly sure how he could adequately follow that tale.

>>14817503

Wait a second... You're not James...

Grand Artificer Barnd Sawspring was given a second chance after a fatal steel serrated disk mishap, because of his pious and zealous devotion to the God Of Gears, but he's had some trouble getting used to the various features of his new form.

This is Claudias, the GM. He is reading the eight page background of Blackwing, a multiclass anthropomorphic monstrosity the player sitting across the table from him has just submitted.

In five seconds, Claudias will kill someone.

>>14817606

This is Claudias' father. A man of strong love, he was glad to see he had received a letter from his son... till he learned it was being sent from jail. Apparently his son had just killed a man...

Claudias' father is now planning a jail-break

The goblin menace nears the small hamlet of Larksburg, and the townsfolk are in a near-panic as they prepare for their once-peaceful homes to be overrun.

When Aldric the woodsman steps out from the tavern. He lived his entire life in this town and he'll be damned if a bunch of ugly green buggers sets one foot inside its walls.

Despite being a 20th level Bard, Sir Travis failed his strength test when attempting to lift The Bass of Forever while preforming before the Celestial Audience.

Boney has just completed his ritual to become a lich and is now going to pursue his dream:
to own a beauty store.

>>14817642
This is Claudias' mother.

She's a bit worried about where her husband is and why he's got a jackhammer and a pick-axe, but it's not bothering her too much.

She's a bit too busy reading the Blackwing Manuscript.

Xadea attempts a polymorphing spell to disguise himself as one of the cultists that are planning on summoning a horrible cosmic horror to this plane.

Predictably, it goes awry.

Joaquin has always wanted to be a Mariachi, but he somehow got drafted into the army. He was deployed in the Gulf War.
His medical records say that he had a 'full recovery' from a head shrapnel injury, but one day, he just left the base, with guitar in hand.
This causes much consternation from the Baghdad traffic police.

>>14817735

This is Claudias' wife.

She's been living with her in-laws since her husband was arrested. Worried about the future, she's become very agressive and depressed.

The last words she heard her father-in-law saying before he left for two weeks were "Don't worry honey, I'm gonna make everything right again.

"Ahhh, so you thought your tricks could evade my scrying forever? Well now I have all the evidence I need to convict you and every little rotten toady working under you of treason against the crown, and see you rot in prison for the rest of your miserable lives."

How do I capture this? This needs to be saved for future generations. Also.

Ronald, a rogue scholar has just come across an exceptionaly important item. He MUST document this.

>>14817802

Unfortunately for the scryer, the usurper had hired a backup merc specialized in long range crossbowsmanship.

The merc had also been waiting there for several days behind an anti-magic barrier. The scryer never saw it coming.
The merc reloaded another bolt into his weapon of destruction, and thought to himself, 'Irony is one of the strongest weapons in this land. I wonder if I could get my bolts enchanted with it.'

>>14817854

After the death of his best scryer, the Emperor was understandably angry.

However, the burning of the entire forest that hid the scyer's murderer seemed a little excessive....

Captain Acirema a paladin fighting by himself against an onslaught of Orc hordes, throws his shield against the attackers in a last ditch attempt, shouts a prayer of victory and begins to witness the true power of the gods.

The Human Rogue, Kayus Elrohein, passed his disguise check to sneak in to the Warforged command post. Once inside, he searched for his friend and ally, Turdok, the Half-Orc whom had previously been captured in battle, so that he and his party might escape to the north.
However, Kayus opened the wrong door, and found himself face to face with the Warforged repairs room. Or, as he liked to put it:
"The sexin' room."

This is Brother Nautilus, astride his trusted airborne companion and striking from the skies.

>>14817879

Naturally, the nature spirits got pissed, and the Empire found themselves embroiled with a tense political situation with the Elves, and various dyrad factions surrounding the kingdom.

The usurpers gambit was going just as planned. . .

>>14817790
This is Claudias' brother.

He's a lot more focused on his job than his family. Sometimes, when they call, he likes to pretend he's not home and just listens to their messages. The last call was from his dad, asking if he wanted to go "to the store to get your brother some presents". He has since unplugged the answering machine and is tempted to change his phone number.

He moved five states away for a reason, damn it.

>>14817534
>>14817440
>>14817396

best thing i've read all night.

This is the wise old man the party has just encountered at the tea shop they chose as thier next investigation site.

He knows what the party is in for, and gives them advice. Wether or not they listen to it is up to them, but he feels pleased that he was able to help, however mildly.

Additionally that young elf lass really enjoyed his tea and promised to come back to share her families recipie.

It was very hard for Annaliese to find a suitable boyfriend. Not a lot of human men want to date a Gnome. But Erick's heart was kind and they've been happy ever since. He attends her social events graciously, and in return she's always in the stands at the gladiatorial arena, cheering on her man.

But today...Erick's not doing so well. And Annaliese isn't about to lose her boyfriend to the Mortal Coil Shuffle, rules of the arena be damned.

He knew he shouldn't walk down these streets. Not at night. Not dressed like this. It was almost inevitable, the would-be mugging.
"Hey, you in the fancy suit! Gimme your wallet."
Always prepared. That's his motto. Some of the most powerful vampires in the world had been slain by his magic pistols, and these brats wanted to pick on him? He drew his weapons, displayed them, and smiled over the righteous slaughter that was to come.

In all his life, Palladus the monk had never once willed his hand to strike in anger.

But these ill-mannered bandits are certainly tempting him.

Despite the flak the local fishery gets, it is a vital part of the coastal town of Eoption.

Gron Stonebreaker enjoyed the simple life. He was a dwarf, and spent his days mining and nights wenching and drinking. The advancing orc army heard of this small dwarf clan living under the mountain, and decided to take their gold. Gron, like the righteous hammer of Moradin, donned his armor and went off to defend his clan...

Johann has always been passionate about his line of work. He is nice with the kids, and knows a lot of tricks to keep them entertained. He strives to be the best rent clown, and he is.
But he felt something was wrong when he woke up in an alley, his clown makeup still on, in his blood-drenched clown costume. All he remembered was he showed up at the night job for a charity gala for children with cancer, and that the full moon is larger than usual...

Ranthok always had a bit of an...unorthodox approach to combat, and everyone in the town was dismayed when he charged forth to face down the advancing army by himself....

>>14817415
"No, fellowman, mayonnaise is not a weapon.

Has anyone an extra cudgel to give the poor lad?"

>>14818105
Damnit, captcha.

>>14818067
>>14817958
>>14817854

This is me. Just gotta say, being a first time poster in 4chan and whatnot, this thread is the best.

On topic:

Yomar was a fighter. or a monk. Either way, he was good at killing things with his hands and feet. He is very good at what he does. He is often challenged by various other fighters and whatnot.

They do not expect him to bust out his cursed Boots of Firewalk.

"I am the high warlord of the realm! An army of tiny drow marches on you, and you expect me to drop everything and rush to your aid? Fix your own problems!"

>>14818110
I read that in Squidward's nonchalant voice.
"dammit captcha".

Zalkobrad the renowned shapeshifting wizard explains his meticulous battle plan to the rest of the party, as they struggle to contain their snickering.

Bridgegrow Heights, a Promethean Frankenstein who's taken his name from the place of his birth. He's spent the last month stalking a rather plain waitress who worked at the local diner, in a futile attempt to get her interested in him.

It's her smile that warms his undead heart and gives him hope. More then once, she's raised him from the edge of succumbing to his own sorrow. When he's human, he swears he will make her his bride. Until then, she's the untouchable goddess.

Number 34, one of the many doppelganger clones in the Empires bizarre experiments to recreate the Heroes of the Mythical Age, shows much promise and potential, and possibly the traits of the Heroes themselves.

Sadly, he follies on the agility course on a very basic obstacle. Fast talking, or faster running, will only spare him from a fiery death of a failed experiment.

Lord Fitzgerald Harper challenges his long-time rival to a duel.

The foul ruffian has insulted his good lady's honor for the last time!

Gazgraf the Barbarian decided to multiclass into wizard, and in his infinite wisdom decided to turn his own ass into a familiar.

No one is quite sure how he managed to pull it off.

>>14818218

>>14818258

Yes, that is pretty much exactly the look on everyone's face when "Mister Rear" decides to have a chat.

Dean approves of this thread and desired it to be saved for posterity, and so added it to the archives.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/14815360/

Thomas Ward is a sharpshooter and hunter of big game. His walls are covered with the heads of every dangerous beast imaginable. His furniture is made from their pelts.

He's a gentleman who takes great pride in his abilities. Always up for a new challenge.

A local cult that had been kidnapping and sacrificing people was busted and fled into the forest. Due to his renown as a hunter and tracker, Mr. Ward was hired to track them.

They found the leader of the cult. They also found the shoggoth that he had just summoned.
This is Mr. Ward's face when.

>>14818281

This is Gazgraf's player's GM all of the time, especially when Gazgraf's player turned his character sheet sideways and said, "Now my wisdom of 8 is infinite!"

This is Yoko, Yoko is a an up and coming journalist sent to investigate a series of disturbances around from a local Shinto shrine.

Near the end of second watch, Warforged rogue Hingeblade Bonestripper detects several bandits, the survivors of the raid on their hideout, approaching the party encampment through the field where he stands disguised as a scarecrow.

New thread?

Bunp?