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  • File deleted. Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)07:35 No.14785908  
    Okay /tg/. It's story time. But not "Yay a story" cutsie sister of battle, emprahesque story. This is a story of something else. This is a story of unrequited love, loss, and epic amounts of patience. But first I must tell you the details behind this story. The GM wants street cred with one of the store workers she has a thing for. Problem is that she hasn't been able to get his attention. So a friend of the store worker steps in and says he will put in a good word for the her if she runs a Campaign for him and his friends. The girl, lets just call her S, agrees because of whatever reason. She asked if they had any specifics, and they said no. This is where the madness starts /tg/. If you wish for me to continue I shall, but I will tell you /tg/ it is not pretty, but it does have an eventual happy ending.
    >> Ted, the Patient Hunter 05/02/11(Mon)07:38 No.14785941
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    Get on with it!
    >> OP 05/02/11(Mon)07:49 No.14786002
    The GM asks me to help her build her world. I say I will take a look at her campaign world and setting. I take a look at the campaign map/ world. It is the most complex and indepth campaign plane I have ever seen. She made competing factions, dwarves that rode bears and hung out in mountains, multiple dragons with hoards and even a giant enchanted floating island (She said her inspiration was from 1001 Arabian nights for most of the planet...) with a population turned to stone. I was shocked and wondered why the hell she needed help in the first place. She stated she wanted to make it her best so she could get a good word. I am surprised.
    A word, I taught S since I was her math tutor. Anyways I tell her that she should be more than good and she should be proud of her world.
    After a few weeks I check in on her and she seems, okay, She says the campaign is giving her a little bit of stress. I tell her that is a fact of being a GM and the Store worker hasn't seemed to pay any attention to her yet. She nods and I waltz off and play some MTG with friends. I watch her campaign from a distance and it seems, well dramatic. I decide I will come in next games night just to observe the campaign.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)07:53 No.14786027
    Intensely interested in where this tale goes.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)07:53 No.14786029
    Either I'm bad at analyzing writing, or you're also doing some writefaggotry in that other thread. Why you do this? Double the waiting, double the blueballs!
    >> OP 05/02/11(Mon)07:58 No.14786062
    So I ask S, when her next game night is. She says next Tuesday, which I cannot go to due to a prior obligation. So I send one of my oldest friends to watch for me.

    Tuesday comes and my friend stops over to my place after the campaign. He explains to me in the most polite terms that it is the largest cluster fuck he has ever seen gaming. He is pissed at me for endorsing for such a campaign even. I ask him what he saw. He explains to me that whatever she made, is non existant. Apparently whatever is being played is not DnD and is almost to the level of an erorpg combined with wish fulfillment. Guy is my oldest friend so I call up S. S says that if she railroads the "Friend" will not only not put in a good word for her, but will make her look bad to the store worker she likes.
    I am not amused. The GM is like my little sister, and I am not afraid of bitch slapping people who are extorting her. So I go to the next game.
    >> OP 05/02/11(Mon)07:59 No.14786067
    what other thread?
    >> OP 05/02/11(Mon)08:03 No.14786099
    Dude. It's the sphinx. It's like a minotaur. It's /tg/ relevant. The pic is also funny to me. I am sure you are either trolling or just plane spiteful that I may have argued against the comic posted earlier, but you do realize that sage doesn't do shit right?
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)08:04 No.14786106
    Go on OP, I like storytiem!
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)08:04 No.14786107
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    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)08:06 No.14786116
    OPs pic is unrelated and not furfaggotry, blow it out your ass.
    >> OP 05/02/11(Mon)08:12 No.14786152
    Sorry about the wait.
    Anyways, game night. Witness that campaign has becomed depraved furfaggotry. The large populations of humans and elves have become god damned furry bullshit. I am not talking like oh everybody is asian cat girls. No. I am talking everybody is god damned were hedgehog bullshit. Apparently the "friend" is a confirmed furry. He and another Furry created a magical spell that caused part of Elysia to leak out on to the world, and in an "epic battle" the other Furry died and became a god that helped cause this.

    When I arrive it's basically them trying to go destroy the last bit of non "Elysian gifted" resistance. Which is basically most of the Dwarves and humans held up in the mountains and a small pocket she modeled exactly after Assholia. Thats right /tg/, she made Assholia part of her campaign. And they are looking for an extra. A voice inside me says, it's time for Humanity Fuck Yeah. It's time for Humanity Fuck Yeah now. I ask if I may join. The players realizing my street cred say yes.
    >> OP 05/02/11(Mon)08:25 No.14786218
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    The party is on the floating island, and S says that they accidentally turn me back to flesh. I roll a human wizard. The party is cool with it. I play my character for what it is. A wizard who has been turned stone for a thousand years and has no idea what the fuck just happened. I ask the party what is going on. They explain to me that they have no idea what turned me into stone, and they will attempt to help me out. My character freaked out by a wolf person with bat wings, is of course skeptical. My wizard even more confused when he sees what is going on in the world is horrified. So I have my wizard split. The rest of the players are not yet on to this, or have not read the inspiration for my ire (Look up Alphonse Capone on sup/tg/)

    My Character runs to the holiest site of humans, which is all but completely desecrated. My wizard collapses on a lone rune stone. And he prays. He cries to the gods for answers, for protection to his race. S sees what is going on and pulls out a chart of deities. She rolls. The deity that lands on the dice is Zarus. I smile, briefly. The deity says that he has heard my prayers.
    >> OP 05/02/11(Mon)08:28 No.14786230
    Well if you and the other person, or just you find it offensive and sexualized then I shall delete it. I don't really see how it is, nor how it is irrelevant to /tg/ but whatever.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)08:30 No.14786237
    reported for being an idiot (and not even using sage right)
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)08:31 No.14786240
    gife storytiem!
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)08:31 No.14786242
    >file deleted
    >suddenly thread gets more views
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)08:31 No.14786243
    Just ignore the idiots and keep on typing bro.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)08:32 No.14786247
    he's trolling you bro, carry on with the story
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)08:33 No.14786252
    >Furry shit
    >White Knighting
    >HFY shit

    Oh wow, I can only hope that everyone completely destroys each other.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)08:33 No.14786256
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    Fuck off.

    Sphinxes are /tg/ related, like all fantasy shit. There are dozens of games which picture them and a single picture which happens to include a sphinx and doesn't even show any tits hardly furry.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)08:33 No.14786257
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    >furries, furries errywere
    >Desperate prayer of one of the last humans, Zarus answers
    >my fucking face

    This better be good, OP, this better be good.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)08:34 No.14786261
    Praying this thread holds stable long enough to hear the rest of this story.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)08:38 No.14786276
    I was just trying to warn him.

    Hes making a thread about HFY* combined with some white-knighting and trying to make himself seem cool by bashing furries while posting a furry pic in the Op.

    Its really quite funny.

    *we so rarely get those you know. It would be a shame if it disappeared, honest.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)08:40 No.14786285
    BUMP for epic story
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)08:41 No.14786298

    "The sphinx, in Greek tradition, has the haunches of a lion, the wings of a great bird, and the face and breast of a woman"

    sounds pretty furry to me. Sure its in the d&d but so are were-foxes.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)08:42 No.14786300
    You're a stupid faggot, you know that? And a terrible troll.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)08:43 No.14786304
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    So the Egyptians were furries?
    >> OP 05/02/11(Mon)08:43 No.14786305
    Eh whatever.

    Anyways. I ask if Zarus can tear out my eyes for all the horrifying atrocities I have seen done to humanity. Zarus says that he cannot, but can only promise me to help avenge humanity and restore it to it's rightful place. Zarus hands me a map to a library and states that "I will know what to do" My wizard follows the map, the party is a few leagues behind. I arrive at the library which is run by a lich. I tell the lich what Zarus said to me. The lich looks confused and points me to a bunch of obscure text in the back before fleeing in terror. I have my wizard grab every book related to the planes and every book I think that looks interesting. I throw them into a bag and fly the hell out of there. My character flies off to the old floating island to go to his old workshop. The old workshop remains un damaged. The party decides to leave me and continue their campaign. Their next target: Assholia. I receive a message from Zarus about what is to occur. I study the books and realize that the books are on diseases, plagues, explosives and ancient curses. My character knows how to deal with the threat.

    I have my wizard fly over to Assholia and tell the local populace of what is to happen. The local populace pretty much shrugs and says "If they want to invade us, let them. We won't be held responsible for what the spi-bears and deep crows do to them." The populace shrugs. I pray to Zarus once again, and tell him that I only ask for his divine guidance, and will forsake my magic if it will only help humanity be as it should be. Zarus answers my prayers.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)08:44 No.14786314
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    Must know how this ends.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)08:45 No.14786320
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    Tomb Kings as well?
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)08:45 No.14786321
    Cram it, the Nerf Now! Comic isn't furry.

    >Campaing world has Assholia
    >bear calvery
    >Alphonse capote

    OP, you have my full attention
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)08:45 No.14786322
    He deleted his own picture because people were complaining.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)08:47 No.14786335
    But everyone thinks Tomb Kings are awesome! For them to be furries is heresy!
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)08:49 No.14786351
    Because one whiny fuck was whining like a fuck.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)08:49 No.14786357
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    Ssshhs guys, it is story time...
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)08:50 No.14786358
    That would be the undiplomatic way of saying it, yes.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)08:53 No.14786377
    I once got punched in the throat over a game of Diplomacy.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)08:54 No.14786386
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    Moar OP!
    >> OP 05/02/11(Mon)08:55 No.14786390
    Zarus states he will help me, but he will not take my magic. He points to another bastion of humanity that was not hit. Basically it's the Sweden of the world with steam punk technology. I take the materials I need on my list of biological toxins from assholia. Zarus says that I must walk like a man to the country in order for him to assist me further. I nod, and walk to the other country. But not before I tell the assholians to send me word of the war when it reaches them so I may help.

    Four days into the epic trek through the assholian countryside up the mountains of "OH FUCK GOD WHY IT BURNS" and Bears that shot sulfur from their eyes at me, past a foggy valley I arrive. And so does the Assholian version of a messenger bird, which is an angry vulture. The battle has reached me, and so far the battle is going as the Assholians expected, however four of the generals broke off from the slaughter and ran towards their main city after their horses and weapons were devoured. After almost getting eaten by the messenger vulture I walk up some stairs to an abandoned pantheon that lead to the entrance of the city.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)09:01 No.14786429
    >> Ragnasal !!IDPwmdBD5xo 05/02/11(Mon)09:02 No.14786438
    I quite agree, OP. We require MOAR.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)09:03 No.14786439
    Bamp. This thread cannot die until I get the full story.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)09:05 No.14786449
    Dammit, op. First you made me late for class reading this. I try continuing on my phone, but now I'm about to go underground! Faster! For the glory of humanity!
    >> OP 05/02/11(Mon)09:07 No.14786462
    The guards of the city have rifles. Fucking Rifles. My character hasn't even seen a crossbow before. However for whatever reason they look at me and kneel. Then let me in the city. It is like a steam punk fantasy orgasm. There are airships and balloons, trains and even a dapper dragon with a god damned monocle as the guardian of the mayors house. I take what meager possessions I have that are not essential to my holy mission and trade them for a balloon/airship and a delivery device in the form of explosives. My character then goes to a library and studies ways to make things explode and whatever I can manage. I then pray to Zarus once again at the Steel Hall of Man. I pray and Zarus does not answer me this time. However a nearby priest does. "You fight the beastmen? The ones who changed the world below to how it is?" I look at the priests and the people around me. I ask them why they have not fought. I ask why for all their technological innovations they have not joined the war for man. They look at me. The stop. A man who is dressed more elaborately stands up. "We stand idle no more." Apparently I had just roused the mayor to my side. I tell them that the furry army has failed at assholia. They understand and ready their army. I look at the bust of Zarus on the wall. I make a spot check. For some reason it seems like the bust is smiling.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)09:12 No.14786495
    You have to love the story of a GM destroying her entire party with the help of an old friend. Please continue OP.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)09:17 No.14786529
    What were the original party of furries doing during all this?

    >For some reason it seems like the bust is smiling.
    Fantastic. Onwards.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)09:18 No.14786533
    Especially when the party is a bunch of arsehat furfags.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)09:19 No.14786543
    Of course. I'm curious to know what they were doing while the God's were literally smiling upon this wizard.
    >> Nephanim 05/02/11(Mon)09:23 No.14786564
    >You have to love the story of a GM destroying her entire party full of furry bullshit with the help of an old friend.
    I'm sure you implied it, but having it said overtly makes the statement all the more true.

    Though it seems like S could have used all this as an excuse to talk to the guy on which she has a crush, under the pretense of asking for advice. Having the dual purpose of breaking the ice and making the extorting player look like a giant whiny douchebag when he tries to destroy her.

    Of course, it would have been much more effective if she had done this at the start of the whole thing.
    >> OP 05/02/11(Mon)09:25 No.14786578
    My character after the hours of study finally creates what he has studied thanks to the help of the Steampunk city of "Laplandia" and creates a biological weapon. Not just anyone. But thanks to the divine guidance of Zarus, one that is able to single out the furry gene/magic via the assholian materials. I thank Zarus for his aid and name the flagships of the airship fleet "The Might of Humanity" and the "Fist of Zarus" The mayor takes The Might, I take The Fist. We fly over the main body furry army and bomb the fuck out of it. The bombs work as planned.

    And have reversed the curse of fur. The party however escaped. I land The Fist and stand infront of the furry army. I tell them that they are free men, and they are free to live there lives. Some of the generals look at us. "You do not wish to kill us?" I shake my head. "No. All men are free. Do as you wish." The rest of the party now enraged at this point is laughing saying that the army fights for them and will surely kill me. We trade diplomacy rolls. He rolls 13 modified 23. I roll a 20 modified to 28. The general looks at me "What strange way is this?" He asks. "The way of Zarus." I say as I get on my airship "You can fight me if you wish, but I have wolf hunting to do." The rest of the party is now mortified.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)09:28 No.14786600
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    >The rest of the party now enraged at this point is laughing saying that the army fights for them and will surely kill me. We trade diplomacy rolls. He rolls 13 modified 23. I roll a 20 modified to 28. The general looks at me "What strange way is this?" He asks. "The way of Zarus." I say as I get on my airship "You can fight me if you wish, but I have wolf hunting to do." The rest of the party is now mortified.

    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)09:36 No.14786666
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)09:36 No.14786671
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    Glorious vaults of gems and gold await you in the afterlife, OP.

    But for now, just finish this story.
    >> Nephanim 05/02/11(Mon)09:38 No.14786693
    >And have reversed the curse of fur.
    They weren't fire... Classy.
    >> Ragnasal !!IDPwmdBD5xo 05/02/11(Mon)09:41 No.14786731
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    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)09:45 No.14786769
    more OP please more
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)09:46 No.14786775
    >> OP 05/02/11(Mon)09:47 No.14786779
    Oh, I am well aware of her machinations. I realize I was being used, but I was having too much fun. But more on that later.

    My character stops by the dwarven hold to tell the human refugees that a major battle was won and now the number of humans has increased. The dwarves see my airships, my steam power and the fact that I have won a major battle. The dwarves ask "The beastmen menace has been routed?" I explain the situation to them. God damned bear cavalry rides out. Not to be out done by dwarves I go to assholia. I ask Zarus for one request for the army. Zarus asks "What is this request?" I ask for Deep Crow Cavalry. The GM rolls. The GM tells me to roll for Animal Handling. I have no ranks in it. I roll it. 18, with the modification a Crow flies down to me. I attempt to mount it. Apparently I am successful. Humanity now has Deep Crow Cavalry. The army rides out and hunts down the party. Who has prayed to their "God" the guy who sacrificed himself. The god himself appears. My army assembled. My power is pure. My cause is noble, my tower secure. I tell my army that we stand and fight as free men, free as what we are. Free to be what we were born as free. I ask Zarus to guide my spells. I let out my battle cry "FOR ALL FREE MEN!" The battle is furious, the "God" slays many men, my side is winning, but not at an acceptable rate for humanity to survive on this planet. I ask Zarus for one last request, I tell him I will gladly sacrifice my life to slay a god. I cast a ball of pure fire from my very soul. The god is fallen, the party now shockingly satisfied with a somehow glorious death. My character dying, I walk to the site where the god was summoned to close the hole in the planes. I close it. My wizard turns to stone, with a smile on his face.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)09:49 No.14786790
    Manly tears.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)09:50 No.14786795
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    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)09:50 No.14786796
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    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)09:51 No.14786805
    >> OP 05/02/11(Mon)09:53 No.14786813
    There on the stone the Mayor, put this "Here lies Cameron Longstrider, Leader of free men died with a satisfied mind." Before the party is talking OOC I say I have to get a smoke. I walk over to the counter. I look at the scrawny guy who S has been fawning over. "Hey, Cute GM over likes you." He, fucking blushes. "Maybe you should go talk to her." I go outside, smoke a cigar, then go back in and tell S that I will be around. The two go out. S never played with the Furries again. I went out and had a drink.

    And that /tg/ is my story.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)09:54 No.14786821
    Has to be one of the most badass endings I've ever seen. Saving this story.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)09:55 No.14786826
    archive please god archive
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)09:56 No.14786829
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    I wish you and me were friends, in real life
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)09:56 No.14786832
    If I were S, Cameron Longstrider would be a patron deity in all future adventures. This is fucking phenomenal, you glorious bastard.

    >> Nephanim 05/02/11(Mon)09:57 No.14786842
    >My wizard turns to stone, with a smile on his face.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)09:57 No.14786843
    I just realised I'm at the library.

    Archive instead.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)09:58 No.14786851
    What I love about that story is that it could of been over with one line
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)10:00 No.14786857
    I somehow cant believe this is a real game, and not writefaggotry.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)10:01 No.14786864
    Nice fabricated story white knight faggot
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)10:02 No.14786870

    sup Furry.
    >> Nephanim 05/02/11(Mon)10:02 No.14786874
    What? Really? Are you seriously being this obvious?
    >> OP 05/02/11(Mon)10:02 No.14786875
    Meh. Whatever. This world is grim dark enough most of the time for the occasional white knighting to happen.
    >> Paranoid_Shitcurity !VdBtdVaYDw 05/02/11(Mon)10:04 No.14786884
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    Your argument pic related.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)10:05 No.14786889
    The story would be no different really if you had just been standing up for a friend. White knight or not, solid RPing
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)10:06 No.14786895
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    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)10:07 No.14786898
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    >Someone says they've played a game more interesting than one I've ever played, with a kind of people who do hang around in game stores.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)10:08 No.14786909
    It is now been archived to sup/tg/
    >> OP 05/02/11(Mon)10:11 No.14786928
    Trying to do a land war in Assholia. Seriously. They were trying to win a land war in Assholia. Spi-Bears were everywhere up in that bitch.
    >> Ragnasal !!IDPwmdBD5xo 05/02/11(Mon)10:15 No.14786949
    I cant seem to find an accurate depiction of Assholia anywhere, so it seems. Anyone have a link or a description?
    >> Anonymous 05/02/11(Mon)10:17 No.14786956
    This story is awesome. I have no idea how else to say it. It just is.
    >> OP 05/02/11(Mon)10:19 No.14786975
    Here you go.
    >> Nephanim 05/02/11(Mon)13:47 No.14788653
    Bearachnids, Deep crows, Rust monster, giant ticks, Dire rats are the only food source, poison water and grass... While your wizard was at it, he should have reversed the obvious curse of suck on Assholia as well.

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