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  • File : 1303406300.jpg-(154 KB, 385x570, Cave Johnson.jpg)
    154 KB NERV 2nd Branch: AdEva in America Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)13:18 No.14668953  
    An idea struck me, and the terrifying implications of it are too funny not to posit here.

    If you don't know who Cave Johnson is, watch the following videos;


    You are now imagining an Adeptus Evangelion game... with this man in charge of NERV. I'll leave the rest to you.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)13:22 No.14668987
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    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)13:26 No.14669031
    The next edition needs a Dirac Gun.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)13:27 No.14669039
    I just read your post in his voice. FUCK
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)13:27 No.14669044
    (spoilers for the game)
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)13:28 No.14669050
    >>Cave Johnson here, head of NERV.

    >>We're done here, folks.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)13:30 No.14669072
    "Dad, how is this supposed to help us fight Angels?"

    "Coordination training, son! What's the matter, don't think you can throw a football to a GIRL?"

    "No, it's just... doesn't playing football in the EVA seem like a bad idea?..."

    "Want to know what's a bad idea? LETTING HUMANITY GO EXTINCT. Ms. Ray, go ahead and tackle my wet towel of a son, wouldja?"

    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)13:31 No.14669079

    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)13:31 No.14669090

    So that explains the orange gel. I KNEW IT
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)13:33 No.14669110
    >Cave Johnson creates Evas instead of Portal Guns.
    >Starts NERV
    >Insane Eva tests for Science!
    >Runs out of test participants, starts using Employee kids instead
    >Creates massive Three Wise men dataframe using a his lover Caroline as the blueprint for the AI.
    >Three Wise men goes amok, turning everyone in the facility into tang besides test subjects for Evas.
    >Three Wise Men continues test with Evas

    I could run with that.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)13:34 No.14669120
    "Cave Johnson here. See this? It's an EVA testing center. Like a regular testing center but bigger. Panels here, here, here, and here keep the EVAs from escaping to cause catastrophic damage to useful facilities. Our new super-sized Ultra Turret keeps the little buggers in line. Look at em' run!"

    "Cave Johnson. We're done here, folks."
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)13:38 No.14669153
    My campaign has the Old Spice guy as the commander and apparently the French OD too
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)13:41 No.14669195
    "I don't care what the higher-ups say, and I don't care how many manuals we have to reprint! I'm in charge and I'm officially re-naming the damned things! Angels have wings, halos, and perky C-cups! Do YOU see any melons on those monsters? Didn't think so, smart guy."

    "Alright, so we're all clear - enemy targets are officially re-classified as 'Weird Freaky Space Monsters'. Got it? Good."
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)13:43 No.14669217
    I hate Neon Genesis Evangelion.
    I do love Cave Johnson though!
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)13:44 No.14669226
    I will follow this man into Hell.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)13:46 No.14669239
    "Just a warning that your Synch limiters have been disengaged for the last 5 minutes, and this can in some rare cases cause your body to discorporate into an orange liquid we like to call life gel. Don't worry about it though. Seriously, don't, visualising the scenario whilst piloting an Eva is what actually triggers the reaction."
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)14:03 No.14669401
    "Hey son, when is the next 'bring your parents to school day?' Money is getting tight and I need to scare up some new investors."

    "*sigh* I'm not telling you when that is, dad."

    "Why not? I always participate in 'take your son to work day."
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)14:17 No.14669563
    "BAHAHAHA! Sweet criminy, did you see that? Caroline, did we get that on tape?"

    "...Your son, and the giant war machine he's piloting, just got punted half a mile by an Ange-"

    "Ap-bap-bap! Reclassified."

    "*sigh*... by a 'Weird Freaky Space Monster', and your first concern is whether or not we caught it on tape?"

    "Well, DUH. This is SCIENCE, woman! Can't keep SCIENCE running without a good blooper reel for the Christmas party, can we? Gotta think about the big picture! Besides, it's not like he's dead or anything."

    "*kssssht* Dad? Dad, I think my arm's broken! Or the EVA's arm, I'm not sure - OH GOD IT'S COMING AFTER ME AGAI-*kssssht*"

    "Oooh! That looks like it hurt. Whelp, he's a big boy, he'll be fine. Carolyn, be a doll and get me some more popcorn, wouldja?"

    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)17:03 No.14671191
    "Cave Johnson here investors. Now, you may be wondering, what does NERV do with all the money you send? Well, we're busy. You can tell because you're here listening to this prerecorded message tape because us movers and shakers are out there in the field doing science and protecting mankind. And as for progress on the Eva models?

    Well, the lab boys tell me we've raised the synch ratio needed to keep our brave pilot's metaphysical existence from being devoured by the soul sucking monstrosities that they use. It's up 3%. Progress, wonderful thing. Always comes with solid, crunchable, and backable numbers.

    Cave Johnson, we're done here.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)17:07 No.14671239
    Must have more. Brain not functioning.

    The idea of Pallet Rifles that fire their casings along with the bullets is a very NERV thing to do, though. Saves on ammo.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)17:27 No.14671434
    "Now everyone, you may be wondering, 'Cave, why do we have to fund you? Why must we give you such exorbitant amounts of money so you can keep your little pyramid?' The answer is simple. So humans can live. Oh sure, some of you defeatists are saying 'But look at all those giant monsters! They're ssoooo scary!' Well tough! Humanity has been kicking the balls of things bigger than ourselves since we've been around, from the humble gorilla to the giant T-Rexes for the promise of hugs and kisses. These monsters aren't any different!"

    "Oh, they're Angels? Well wowee, that sure makes a big difference to little old me. Guess we'd better all curl up in our beds and pray God kills us quick. Shut the hell up! Humans ate that damn banana from the Tree of Knowledge, and goddamn have we made a good life from it. HDTV's. iwhatchamacallits. Devil's Food Cake. God doesn't have that! He's just jealous. So let's take a stand people, and let's give God an asswhooping he won't forget!"

    "Cave Johnson, we're done here."
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)17:57 No.14671682
    does that mean glados would be the the wise men... well, glados, wheatly and the crazy space ball...

    does that mean nerv got its start making shower curtains?

    did nerv gets its contract after poisoning it's competitors with mercury tainted shower curtains... ... ...

    what would cave johnson's kid be like... forget shinji think cave johnson jr fighting the angels...
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)18:00 No.14671702
    "Son. Been a while, good to see you. As you can see, we uh, have a slight problem here. Want to help us fix it?"

    "You...you abandon me for years and you want me to help you go stop a giant monster!? Using this... robot!?"

    "Hey now, the Evangelion is not a robot. It is a bioengineered creature masterfully fused with the greatest computational machines mankind can offer. That's what the gearheads down in development tell me anyway. And besides, abandon you? Pft, I never abandoned you. I sent you those letters didn't I?"

    "You couldn't visit? Or, or, tell me anything?"

    "What? Are you going to cry? Kid, come on, letters are personal. Now, if I'd sent you e-mails you might have a case of neglect, but snail mail tells people that they care. Enough to send a 85 yen's worth of love."
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)18:07 No.14671751
         File1303423648.jpg-(88 KB, 470x549, why-gabe-newell-invented-steam(...).jpg)
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    The voice says Cave Johnson, I keep hearing Gabe Newell.

    Still, this setting idea ranks pretty damn high on my Funny meter, Horrible meter and Irresponsible meter.

    Also, dammit, posted with the wrong image first.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)18:16 No.14671804
    "The tickets are now TANG" Old Spice guy, or "Block! Building Kick! EXPLOSIONS!" Old Spice guy? I could see both working.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)18:30 No.14671898
    wait a minute...

    rei is a clone of caroline
    glados is a clone of caroline

    rei is glados
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)18:44 No.14672020
    So I guess we know the real reason the Arizona lab blew the fuck up.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)20:14 No.14672932
    "*cough cough* It seems asking the pilots to float you around with A.T. Fields causes instability of what defines you as you. So we're going to do some more testing and see if an Anti A.T. Field can reverse the effects by hardening up my "ego barrier" as the scientists call it. *cough*"
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)22:08 No.14674065
    I'm not alone then. I thought I was the only one to ponder such a crossover.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)22:11 No.14674092
    Is AdEva as awesome as it sounds? And how would I convince my friends (who almost religiously hate weaboos) that this isn't totally 'lol animu'
    >> Servant of the Emperor 04/21/11(Thu)22:17 No.14674166

    This one was my favorite so far though
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)22:20 No.14674195

    It is every bit as awesome as it sounds, but only if you have the right attitude going in. Repeat after me.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)22:22 No.14674223
    >Is AdEva as awesome as it sounds?


    >And how would I convince my friends (who almost religiously hate weaboos) that this isn't totally 'lol animu'

    Have them start playing it, but don't tell them what it is.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)22:24 No.14674238

    I agree, but to follow up, Eva's "specific mindset" requires the ability to sometimes laugh at horrific things. The best AdEva games are somewhat tongue-in-cheek in many parts, and you should remember that the "rule of cool" is the only one you should follow. Good times will be had by all if you throw logic out the window and embrace absurdity.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)22:24 No.14674244
    >Have them start playing it, but don't tell them what it is.
    "You're all children and you're called to a secret base where you see a giant mech."

    "I see nothing wrong with this. Continue."
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)22:27 No.14674272

    You could just make it have nothing at all to do with Japan. That's a huge step in the not-weaboo direction.
    >> Edgy Australian 04/21/11(Thu)22:27 No.14674280
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    If I ever run an AdEva game with Cave Johnson in charge of NERV, I will find a way to put this beautiful monologue in:

    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)22:32 No.14674341

    Indeed, this is part of the beauty of AdEva. You can run it wherever the fuck you want and all the mechanics are there. You could run it entirely in outer space if you wanted, although this isn't really recommended.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)22:36 No.14674386
    How about "You are in a poorly-lit concrete room. There are two United States Marines standing on either side of the door, staring at you. The door opens, and a man in an impeccably tailored suit walks in, smiling broadly. Baring teeth that seem just a bit too white, he welcomes you to NERV CENTCOM."

    DiD yOu HaVe A pLeaSanT fLigHt?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)22:38 No.14674404
    "Also you're children. Children with neuroses."
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)22:40 No.14674429
    Oh, come on. Flavor it a little.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)23:23 No.14674937
    Cave Johnson: Hero of Humanity?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)23:30 No.14675006
    This is news somehow?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)23:34 No.14675038
    >tongue in cheek in parts

    I read that as "tongue in cheek in pants" and then wondered what the hell that would entail.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)23:40 No.14675096
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    My face when I realize all the defensives around the city talk like turrets.. Also my face when I'm the new dummy plug.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)23:49 No.14675214
    Tokyo-3 (or whatever would replace it in the Portal universe) is the most advanced city in the world. It is also the most well-protected. Automated defenses keep watch on all sides. Emergency systems are suffused throughout the city's structure, and well-coordinated protective measures ensure that all major structures will be able to sink into their bunker modules at a moment's notice. Throughout all stations, the voice of the Magi is heard, from a billion speakers on every street and in every home.

    Imagine that every piece of complex machinery has the intelligence of a turret.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)23:54 No.14675277
    "Cave Johnson here investors, now I realize that competition is supposed to breed innovations folks but... Jet Alone? Really? Did you take a look at that thing? It can barely even walk! And Nuclear Power? Hell, it's like asking the thing to blow up in our faces. You know what our Evas are powered by? Human Souls. That's right. I said it. Good old human souls. It's an ancient practice, human sacrifice, lasted thousands of years and the Earth's still ticking. Shows just how good it is. And humans are reliable! You can't trust robots."

    "Cave Johnson, come on, throw your money somewhere dependable. Like NERV."
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)23:54 No.14675278
    Tokyo-3 run by GLaDOS.

    Oh, the horror.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)23:57 No.14675301
    >And humans are reliable! You can't trust robots.

    NERV: The best ironic hypocrisy money can buy.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)00:00 No.14675321
    Correction. Run by Carolyn.

    Cave Johnson's still alive, bless his crazy industrialist soul. Which means that GlaDOS doesn't have free reign. Yet.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)00:04 No.14675347
    This thread makes me really happy, pleas continue.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)00:07 No.14675370

    The Magi were based off the brain of a woman. So you can have Carolyn pull double duty.. Either that or her in the AI and Cave sitting in the big chair and making Gendo look sane.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)00:10 No.14675392
    It comes to mind that NERV is experienced in producing artificial beings. So... Cave clones. Cave clones everywhere.
    >> JSCervini !!L+hOixyXrvo 04/22/11(Fri)00:17 No.14675439
         File1303445835.gif-(1.3 MB, 250x187, 1293154168559.gif)
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    I don't really have much to add to this, though I heartily love you all for convincing me that Cave Johnson and Caroline are perfect characters to plug into an AdEva game.

    Something tells me that Cave would be sitting there in his throne-like station with a Big Red Button (tm) with the word SCIENCE emblazoned upon it right in front of him as a Manufactured Caroline would be the PCs' OpsDir. Meanwhile, the equivalent of the MAGI System would be composed of Portal-1-GLaDOS, Wheatley, and Caroline's mind... wheee ideas late at night. Don't make a lick of sense, really.

    Pic related: What happens to test subj... ahem, pilots... when they fail a mission and return to Cave. Damn that Big Red Button (tm).
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)00:18 No.14675452
    Holy shit, what's the source?
    >> JSCervini !!L+hOixyXrvo 04/22/11(Fri)00:19 No.14675457
    Hell if I know. Ganked it off of /tg/ a long time ago in a thread.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)00:21 No.14675469
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    A tank full of Cave clones...
    >> Edgy Australian 04/22/11(Fri)00:27 No.14675505
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    Here's a stat block I whipped up; fits Cave well, I think.

    (i made skills and talents based off the OD career but they don't really fit well, like the five SC advances i took)

    WS 33 Int 41
    BS 37 Per 46
    S 32 WP 40
    T 31 Fel 75
    Ag 37 SR 0
    Ins. 49 Corpt. 0
    Fate 3 Wounds 16
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)00:32 No.14675555
    Why am I suddenly imagining a campaign set in a Tokyo-3 that has been taken over by GlaDOS?

    Oh my god, it's like EVA being butt-fucked by System Shock.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)00:42 No.14675596
    Adding heelsprings to EVAs certainly might limit the collateral damage from all that running and thrashing about.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)00:53 No.14675700
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    Like that.. Might I throw out another?

    The PC's wake up, inside the Fortress city where it is. They are given training with their units via the automated systems under the supposed supervision of the project scientists. Supposedly to aviod attachment and then they sortie for the first time.

    There's a red line around the moon and if they can see an ocean then its red. The city their supposed to be defending is currently in a state of disrepair and is being rebuilt.

    Third Impact happened or something just as strange. Maybe even the ending of the series. Maybe the angels got Adam. Maybe the Philadelphia Experiment did something.. Whatever.. Either way humanity appears to be gone and the complex kicked back on becuase it detected another set of angels. Lilith is still in the basement and they want her..

    Have no fear though. The complex is being run by AI constructs, the pilots have been removed from the relaxation vaults and the project will continue. No matter what..

    Oh and the pic is related.. It's what your new OD looks like. In fact there's all the scheming and what not going on. Only its all AI's.. So enjoy your modular home. Where you're overseen by Misato the Personality Core.

    Also for some reason I want to have Rei replace the Companion Cube but that might be lack of sleep.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)01:13 No.14675869

    "NERV does not approve any romantic relationships with Companion Organism. Please report any feelings of lust and or love toward a Companion Organism. A NERV relationship counselor will instruct you on the "Birds and the Bee". Be aware that 10% of patients have experienced allergic reactions to such instructions."

    "Do not morn the loss of your Companion Organism. There will always be a replacement. Your Companion Organism is not unique. It cares only because it was programmed to. It also comes hard-wired with military-grade explosives for emergencies."
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)01:15 No.14675896
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    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)01:15 No.14675897

    Penis... hardening...
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)01:20 No.14675926
    Why have I never thought of having an AI operations director before? This is such a wonderful idea.
    >> Edgy Australian 04/22/11(Fri)01:20 No.14675928
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    'All insinuation that the Companion Organism is biologically related to you is, in fact, false. Report any rumours to your nearest NERV official.'
    >> JSCervini !!L+hOixyXrvo 04/22/11(Fri)01:29 No.14676006
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    Only because I got bored....
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)01:30 No.14676017
    "Studies have shown a positive attitude increases life expectancy. We have circumvented this for Companion Organisms through atrophied dopamine production."

    "Companion Organisms are terrible pilots. Keep this in mind when you are replaced with one."
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)01:32 No.14676026

    Inb4 Skynet..


    Basically.. Yeah. You're getting what I was trying to sell with my post.

    To expand. If you want some added fun. The whole deal is fixed. Impact already happened and the complex is chugging along just to chug along. Somewhere beyond the city there is a complex just as huge and you know what its doing? It's making the angels you are fighting.

    So kids get defrosted and fight until the last angel is killed and then they get put back in the vault. Or die. Or escape. Either way its forever reenacting the events foretold in the scrolls. Except it can't get the last angel, he won't show. And you can't end the program without the last angel. So it just clones and kills angels and pilots, until it can get the last angel to show up in the last body.

    The others are showing mainly due to being pissed.. I assume they have some control over whether or not to enter a form.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)01:33 No.14676038

    You are awesome..
    >> JSCervini !!L+hOixyXrvo 04/22/11(Fri)01:34 No.14676042
    Except that I can't draw EVAs for the life of me.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)01:42 No.14676104

    Oh man, any photoshopbros wanna do a recolor of Rei's plug-suit ?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)01:45 No.14676138
    Chell is basically a bro Asuka right? I mean all the ARG stuff talks about how she doesn't give a shit, doesn't take shit from the man and never gives up.
    >> JSCervini !!L+hOixyXrvo 04/22/11(Fri)01:47 No.14676153
    Just about. Add in Rei's quietness and Shinji's main-character-ness and you got a one-woman EVA-team!
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:18 No.14676447
    "Cave Johnson here, if you Fly Boys don't get your sync ratios up, I'll come down there and sync you manually.

    Cave Johnson. We're done here, folks."
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:28 No.14676523
    "To those of you who've been ingesting the LCL... you shouldn't do that. Lab boys tell me it's responsible for early onset of, well, looks like every disease under the sun. Just...just try and hold your breath whenever you need to fight alright?"
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:32 No.14676551
    Imagine, if the illusive man were replaced by Cave Johnson.

    "Now Shepard, the lab boys tell me that there's a ton of reaper tech on that collector ship. Now I know you don't completely trust Cerberus Science, but we're not bangin' rocks together; we -know- how to dissect an alien mothership."
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:35 No.14676576
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    Yes. YES. YES!
    >> Brokazaki !!GGO9kwAPCR4 04/22/11(Fri)02:39 No.14676599
    fergat trupcoad

    "Good work Shepard, the ships in our control. We discovered a lot of strange fluids running through, they're being analyzed as we speak. I see you got covered in the blue gel. Lab boys sent me some advice -

    >pages turning

    'Don't get covered in the blue gel.' Not a problem. We'll just cut ya open, put some science in you, and sew you back together, good as new. We're done here."
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:43 No.14676635
    "Shepard, got a new recruit for you. Name's Mordin Solus, brainy type. You know, bug eyed Salarians and all. Anyway, the boys down at Intel are telling me you're going to need someone with smarts in their noggin. Personally, I just think you need bigger guns, but hey, one more body never hurt. Go take Miranda and Jacob, get yourself a new scientist. It's on me."
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)08:25 No.14678980
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)10:44 No.14679786
    OP here. You done made me proud.
    >> Titanium Man 04/22/11(Fri)10:45 No.14679791
    "Cave Johnson here. Right now we're facing one of the greatest crises mankind has ever known. World War II? That was recess. These Reapers are past that. The chemistry class of our short existence. It's gonna be hard to take them down, but we've got to stand together, like one big wall of justice. And if they try to jump us to get into our borders, we'll shoot 'em down. Drag them into a pit. No green cards on my watch!

    Cave Johnson, we're done here."
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)13:49 No.14681138
    The best part is I am still reading these all in Martin Sheen's voice.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)13:52 No.14681153
    this thread is why I love /tg/.

    That and all the Luchadore stuff...oh fuck yes. Combine Cave Johnson run NERV with LUCHA.

    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)14:03 No.14681220
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    cave would have alot more test sub- I meen pilots at the ready at all times
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)14:05 No.14681226
    and if all those pilots die....
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)14:13 No.14681284
         File1303496038.jpg-(66 KB, 600x337, PAX-Prime-2010-Portal-2-Co-Op-(...).jpg)
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    that reminds me. How would we fit the co op bots in>
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)14:15 No.14681292
    Dummy plugs.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)14:24 No.14681364
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    Black Mesa is better
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)14:25 No.14681377
    Better at fucking things up, maybe.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)14:28 No.14681402
    working on this.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)14:43 No.14681547
         File1303497798.jpg-(158 KB, 644x834, gman.jpg)
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    >G Man working for NERV

    Oh god no!
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)14:54 No.14681649
    I don't know what's more hilarious/terrifying:
    -Gordon in an EVA
    -Shinji in HEV suit.

    And inversely, Gendo instead of the G-Man in Half Life
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)14:55 No.14681661
    Gordon's EVA would have a giant crowbar
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)14:57 No.14681673
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    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)15:02 No.14681722
    Holy shit, someone archive this.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)15:05 No.14681748
    Meanwhile HL2: Shinji Edition would have none of that "Gordon, you're here! Awesome! Here, give us a hand and we'll have a hope!" namby-pamby bullshit. Just lots of NPCs yelling at you to do something against the Strider.

    Which is the first thing you fight.

    With a crowbar.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)15:07 No.14681772
    So Wheatley would be, who, Kaji?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)15:07 No.14681780

    Already done. Do you people even check the archive (let alone know it exists) before shouting for archives?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)15:07 No.14681781

    Cake and paternal affection will be available at the conclusion of the test.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)15:10 No.14681810
    >And how would I convince my friends (who almost religiously hate weaboos) that this isn't totally 'lol animu'

    Ignore the whole "high school kids" part. Instead, up the pilot ages up. Now you have untrained civilians, combat-hardened soldiers and secret cloning experiments facing off against horrors from wherever.

    Instead of a very anime cliche, it's become interesting.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)15:13 No.14681833

    Simply explain to them that the whole point of Evangelion is that it takes anime cliches and RAPES THEM TO DEATH AND WE ALL DIE ALONE.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)15:24 No.14681928
         File1303500245.png-(866 KB, 1500x904, Rei_aperture_color.png)
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    And here is my attempt.
    >> Blackheart !!d+z47tvchVl 04/22/11(Fri)15:27 No.14681962
    >>And how would I convince my friends (who almost religiously hate weaboos) that this isn't totally 'lol animu'

    Tell them to quit being cunts?
    >> Titanium Man 04/22/11(Fri)15:34 No.14682032
    "Cave Johnson here. Some of our investors might be opposed to placing children inside giant robots. Some of them might even think we were so stupid to make our giant robots only work if they were driven by children. Here's what I say to that - isn't that a childhood you would have wanted? I mean, come on, you get to drive a giant robot after school. That's amazing. It'd do wonders for your social life. You'd never be picked last to play baseball. Why? Because I have a giant robot, damn it. You can't outrun THAT on your two-wheeler, Jeremy!"
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)15:34 No.14682036
         File1303500897.png-(366 KB, 511x600, 511px-Frakenturret.png)
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    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)15:41 No.14682076
    what is that thing!
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)15:50 No.14682132
    G-Man and Cave Johnson having a conversation would be freaky enough.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)15:51 No.14682140
    I find it funny that her aperture plugsuit matches her first eva's coloring.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)15:59 No.14682196
    It also looks like gordon's hev suit...
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)16:02 No.14682209
    Wheatley is an idiot Josef Mengele. But it was still horrible to see.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)16:03 No.14682221
    Portal to the Moon.

    Oh god.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)16:04 No.14682235
    The SEELE moonbase now makes much, much more sense.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)16:09 No.14682265
    And both are characters not known for being chatty...I think we're coming full circle here.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)16:33 No.14682450

    Yeah. If you run it this is what you should be aiming for. Really play up the whole, powered by lost children.


    If I ran this I'd probably have to prerecord alot of these and save them for random play. After I sacrifice a companion cube to channel Cave Johnson.

    It's the only thing stopping me, my body is not ready.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)16:34 No.14682457
    hmmmm I smell cover up
    >> Titanium Man 04/22/11(Fri)16:40 No.14682505
    Just rewatch the videos, get a sense of how he talks. You gotta be unexpected, but not THAT unexpected. You can do it.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)16:40 No.14682507
         File1303504827.jpg-(282 KB, 600x658, Gordon_Freeman___Merinid_by_Me(...).jpg)
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    Problem, /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)16:41 No.14682521

    crazy shit!
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)16:42 No.14682529

    That kind of makes sense. If I ran it, I'd use it to highlight some of the random series stuff. Like the AI commander giving a report to the 12 AI's that now make up Seele. AI's conspiring against each other becuase thats what the people they replaced where doing and being generally bad at it.

    Basically make an AI of everyone but the characters and Rei.. Run with it for lulz as they fail at being human.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)16:49 No.14682596
    ......good god!
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)16:49 No.14682598
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    >That plug suit looks stupid on you.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)17:18 No.14682865
    "Here at NERV we know everything is better with a friendly artificial intelligence. Your CO? An AI. Your mechanic? An AI. Your apartment manager? An AI. You're here because we are so damn good at making AI's that our AI designer AI said that pilot's were Hardware's problem, and the Hardware AI said that was human resources, and well, who needs human resources when you just have AI's?"
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)17:18 No.14682867
    I wanted to play Adeptus Evangelion badly. Now, I'm desperate to.
    >> Titanium Man 04/22/11(Fri)17:25 No.14682923
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    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)17:58 No.14683232
    Those of you volunteering to be injected with angel DNA, I've got some good news, and some bad news. The bad news is we're postponing the test indefinitely. The good news is we've got a much better test for you: fighting an army of Tabbris. Pick up a rifle and follow the yellow line. You will know when the test start."
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)17:59 No.14683241
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    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)18:08 No.14683350
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)18:24 No.14683527
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    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)18:31 No.14683603
    >/tg/ appreciating a game more than /v/
    Business as usual I guess.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)18:35 No.14683648
    Took a look at AdEva, and noticed it is a DH mod.
    How big of a pain is DH to learn?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)18:41 No.14683691
    >/tg/ wants to take a game and shove components of it into an inane pile of rules that will be horrible to play.
    Business as usual indeed
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)18:42 No.14683707
    Roll 1d100, learn when to risk using fate, and enjoy burning fate as any good hit can just flat out kill your character.

    And by good hit I mean 1/10th of the time and then a confirmation roll.
    >> Brokazaki !!GGO9kwAPCR4 04/22/11(Fri)18:45 No.14683731
    Cave Johnson, CEO of Cerberus Science here. I'd like to present you with another investment opportunity. Show the hololog, Miranda. If there's one thing our research has shown us, it's that humans cannot be trusted to avoid indoctrination. The answer? Mechs. Then uh, fire the guys who built these exploding mechs, and build better mechs. Stimulate their firewalls by leaving them unprotected in rooms with reaper artifacts. The data showed us this: Boom, six extra seconds before they god hacked. Good job mechs. Cave Johnson, we're done here.
    >> Brokazaki !!GGO9kwAPCR4 04/22/11(Fri)18:48 No.14683750
    "In case Legion is still interested, there's stil an open position for that bonus opportunity Miranda mentioned earlier. Again. All we're gonna do is dissassemble you. We're not two Krogans banging heads together, we know how to put a synthetic back together. So that's a complete reassembly. New metal parts. Patch up that hole good as new. Plus, we're scooping out collector goo. Frankly, you should be paying us."

    "If you're going to try to reproduce after being hit with the genophage, flag down a test salarian and let him know, because only about 1 in 1000 births should go right, so don't worry. If none go right, then worry, and come see us, because that's not part of the genophage."

    "We line the ships with eezo. Keeps the varren out. If you experience headache, shortness of breath, or heart failure, that's not part of the scheduled flight. That's eezo."

    "The boys down in Cerberus Intelligence have just informed me that I should not have mentioned the collectors. They're also telling me I should stop sending these transmissions over Citadel Space. That gave me an idea: SEND MORE TRANSMISSIONS. I PAY THE BILLS AROUND HERE. I CAN TALK ABOUT THE COLLECTORS ALL DAMN DAY."

    " Just a heads up: we’re gonna have Sovereign’s old mass effect fields turned up to full blast and point right at you and the crew. I’ll be honest here we’re throwing Reaper tech at the wall here to see what sticks. No idea what it’ll do. Probably nothing. Best case scenario Grunt may become fertile again. Worst case, Collectors may just blow you up again, which we’ll just bring you back again."
    >> Brokazaki !!GGO9kwAPCR4 04/22/11(Fri)18:50 No.14683770
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    EDI: Shepard. Just thought you'd like to know. The Normandy has been boarded by a Collector vessel. As a precautionary measure, I have flooded the entire ship with a deadly neurotoxin. Just kidding. There is no Collector vessel.

    "if you've cut yourself at all during this test, you may have noticed your blood is pure Element Zero. That's normal. We've been bombarding you with a laser designed to turn your blood into Eezo, so all that means is it's working."

    "The bean counters told me I couldn't afford 7 grams of eezo, let along 70 million. Bought it anyways, groud it up into a gel! Turns out it's highly toxis, I am deathly ill. Also found out it makes engines run marginally faster. We're doing accelerated testing to see if standing next to these engines can suck the poison out of a man's bloodstream."

    This thread needs more Cave Johnson in alternate universes.
    >> Titanium Man 04/22/11(Fri)18:56 No.14683829
    Ah, come on, you guys are just modifying his existing lines. Try to come up with your own!
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)19:41 No.14684297
    It uses a class-based d100 system that was designed for a very specific setting in mind, that setting being nowhere near Evangelion.

    The d100 part? easy enough though there's systems out there that do it easier. The rest? Hahaha nope.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)19:43 No.14684334
    Pick one.
    >> Titanium Man 04/22/11(Fri)19:49 No.14684402
    Hey, I wrote all of mine off the cuff...just give it a shot.
    >> JSCervini !!L+hOixyXrvo 04/22/11(Fri)20:55 No.14685126
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    For shits and giggles.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)21:24 No.14685377
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    Picture I stole from someone.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)22:02 No.14685732
    >Currently downloading 2.43 GB of DH PDFs because of this thread
    >probably only gonna use 1 of them
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)23:24 No.14686538
         File1303529064.png-(761 KB, 1200x750, 05.png)
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    And you said you couldn't draw and EVA?

    Pic related its the view out of your room..
    >> Anonymous 04/23/11(Sat)00:19 No.14687108
    yesssssssss yesssssssssssss
    >> Anonymous 04/23/11(Sat)00:59 No.14687573
    The Enrichment Center would like to remind you that the Weighted Companion Cube and Companion Rei should never be confused. The Weighted Companion Cube cannot speak. In the event that the Weighted Companion Cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice. While Companion Rei can speak and the Enrichment Center urges you to listen her advice. Refering to Companion Rei as weighted is forbidden under piloting procedures and has resulted in physical damage to the former pilot subject.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/11(Sat)01:27 No.14687874
    Someone archive now.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/11(Sat)02:21 No.14688411
    Just proved >>14681780 's point.

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