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  • File : 1303032746.jpg-(154 KB, 760x570, crow.jpg)
    154 KB Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)05:32 No.14621029  
    Crows, /tg/. Fucking crows.

    Cros can recognize faces, build tools, use tools to build other tools, solve logic problems, communicate with one another, pass their complex knowledge to next generations, learn to speak (and some dare say understand the meaning of) a number of words, and formulate effective strategies to prevent and counter against attacks on their kind.

    Why the fuck are they only INT 2 in D&D?
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)05:34 No.14621039
    Because one of those fuckers kept shitting on the DM's pallid bust of Pallas just above his chamber door.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)05:35 No.14621054
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    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)05:36 No.14621062
    Shit, now I need a setting where crows one day inherit the Earth.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)05:37 No.14621063
    ITT: Crows are a viable LA +0 race.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)05:37 No.14621065
    The Birds
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)05:37 No.14621070
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)05:39 No.14621086
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    If crows are so smart, why did Crow put himself in a double jock lock?
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)05:40 No.14621088
    To deceive you.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)05:42 No.14621100
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    kenku are underatted as combat fodder. stupid goblins get all the screentime.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)05:43 No.14621104
    There have been studies in which crows were proven to communicate verbally with one another with a degree of sophistication such that they could describe the appearance of a particular person to harass.

    Or rather, the appearance of the mask that that person wore when fucking with the crows to piss them off. They passed the mask around and crows who had never fucking seen it reacted almost exactly the way the original butthurt crows did.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)05:45 No.14621123
    crows can also play chess... and worse than that, they try to cheat.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)05:45 No.14621125
    an ozzy cider ad has that as the main concept
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)05:45 No.14621126
    God fucking damnit crows have a language.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)05:45 No.14621131
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)05:46 No.14621133

    Seriously? Holy shit.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)05:46 No.14621134
    What was the name of that movie? I remeber it was rated Adult on TV for some reason.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)05:49 No.14621159
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)05:49 No.14621161
    Here is a crow, dropping nuts over crosswalk

    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)05:50 No.14621176
    My next character will be an awakened crow wizard.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)05:51 No.14621181
    Well Int 2 represents pinnacle of animal intelligence. I think it was 4e that had animal intelligence.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)05:52 No.14621198
    Ravens are supposedly even smarter, but they're less social so it doesn't show as much.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)05:53 No.14621201
    >pinnacle of animal intelligence
    >smarter than the average goblin, which has int 6-8 usually
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)05:55 No.14621216
    Crows definitely have a language, one flexible enough to describe something as complex as a human wearing a mask=bad. Playing chess? Not so much. First I've heard of it anyway and I'm a huge corvid fan.

    But yeah, crows are ridiculously smart. Everything in the OP is solid. Fortunately for humanity they only live about a decade in the wild, otherwise they'd be kicking our ass.

    Same deal with octopi. They only live five years tops. If that was five decades? We'd all be working for the eight-tentacled man.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)05:55 No.14621218
    Crows can learn a dozen or so English words.

    They use their vocabulary to insult people.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)05:57 No.14621230
    Fucking crows
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)05:58 No.14621236
    Tengu were nerfed pretty hard in D&D too, they were insane Buddhist crow elves in the original myth. And I'm not talking about prancing elves either, they were the Tolkien sort. Even the low-ranked ones were considered unbeatable in the battlefield and if you managed to coax a greater tengu to be your teacher in sword arts, you could stare at your foes' general direction and they'd crap their pants. Yoshitsune had one such teacher, and he could leap from boat to boat (he had a few vital naval battles so many of his exploits are on the sea) like some sort of ancient samurai Spiderman, cutting suckers left and right while still in his armor. Imagine chilling out in your boat right before a naval skirmish and getting ready to flank the enemy fleet, except suddenly a demon-trained madman of a warrior leaps all the way from the enemy fleet, kills some dudes and when the fighting gets fierce he just jumps the way back like some sort of sword-brandishing dragoon. That's how Yoshitsune was.

    One of the Japanese Emperors was also said to become a tengu, which was as terrifying as a human-sized bee knight wearing several hives full of Africanized bees as armor and wielding a giant stinger lance, because as the myth goes the Emperors were given absolute sovereignity over fucking everything in Japan. They could command the ground to open and eat up their foes, and as long as they're in Japanese soil, it would happen. Combine that with the ridiculous shit tengu do on a daily basis and it's small wonder that Emperor in question is called one of the greatest demons of Japan alongside the likes of Tamamo no Mae (who ruined like 3 empires because she had a torture fetish and liked masturbating to the screams of young slave girls being whipped, so she seduced a few emperors and had them do precisely that. Yeah she was sort of crazy.)
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)05:58 No.14621238
    The BBEG is a mad scientist who has extended a crow's longevity to nearly that of the average human. He has also increased their size to that of a bald eagle.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)05:59 No.14621245
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    wait, so ravens are crow nerds?
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:00 No.14621252
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    Mantis shrimp are pretty smart too, for arthropods.

    Some day, someone will splice crow, mantis shrimp, and octopus DNA together. We will call this creature many things at first but in the end we will address it by one name only:

    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:03 No.14621269

    oh jesus, that thought. mantis-shrimptopus (mad wizard experiment). i'm using that in a game as something that will fuck the beholders and illithids. and i'm not sleeping tonight, fuck you man, fuck you.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:04 No.14621272
    No, you're thinking of Ravens.

    Ravens are the bigger, and I say more intelligent cousin of the crows. If crows are able to do this, imagine what ravens can do.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:05 No.14621276
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    Indeed tradtionalls owls are ones that are considered intelligent or wise bird in symbolysm while tehy are not as intelligent as many other birds.

    What about parrots? Parrtos are on the same level as crows, they can learn complex speech (for an animal), even to identify colors and some numbers.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:09 No.14621292
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    >Able to strike with the speed of a bullet
    >On a miss, the target is stunned anyway because of the shockwave produced by the strike
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:10 No.14621293
    Parrots are at least smart enough to figure out how to let themselves out of their cages if you don't lock them in.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:12 No.14621303
    They can also see infrared, ultraviolet and visible, have 16 photoreceptor proteins and can discern the polarization of light, which they use to send secret messages to others that few other animals can see, let alone understand.

    They can also curl themselves into a ball and roll around with backflips, like those Star Wars droids.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:13 No.14621309
    I will gun down every single one of these bastards before they evolve any further.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:16 No.14621317
    You will not survive the attempt.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:17 No.14621322

    pistol shrimp too. POP POP MUTHERFUCKER DROP!
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:18 No.14621324
    Too late. They've invaded Hawaii and are known to attain unusually large sizes by feeding on the nutrient-rich sewer waste dumped to the Ala Wei Canal. Apparently they couldn't care less about harmful chemicals in the sewage.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:18 No.14621326
    I wouldn't discount Owls for their intelligence. All birds are more intelligent than we give them credit for.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:19 No.14621330
    Jesus Christ they're radioactive now?
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:20 No.14621333

    they are known off the east coast of japan, which is now glowing faintly orange. godzilla? you bet.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:20 No.14621334
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    A quick googling seems to confirm your assertion that mantis shrimp are pretty intelligent for shrimp.

    Clearly they are THE LORD'S most favored creations. He didn't bother to create land until the third day, and when He did so he gave two-thirds of the Earth to them. He made them on the fifth day, making them a priority above Man and land animals which He made on the sixth day.

    THE LORD also gave them ultra-vision so that they might see His creation in all its glory. And apparently He also made them smart.

    I know people who are regularly outsmarted by their border collies, and we've had dogs domesticated since we discovered fire. A crow-mantis shrimp-octopus hybrid?

    Humanity would not stand a chance.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:21 No.14621335
    Nah, but they're toxic. Same deal with shellfish poisoning, they've taken the toxins and made them their own.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:22 No.14621342
    A raven is a type of crow. Crows are a family of animals.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:23 No.14621348
    Same for Dolphins, actually.
    Also, Dolphins love rape.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:24 No.14621352
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    >they've taken the toxins and made them their own.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:25 No.14621359

    dolphins are the dicks of the sea, kidnapping and gangraping young female dolphins. they're douchebags with fins.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:27 No.14621374
    They're also delicious.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:28 No.14621377
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:28 No.14621378
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    >there is no god
    >evolution hates us
    >they're only gonna get better at it
    >i want off this planet

    >mfw everything in this thread
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:28 No.14621381
    Fun fact: familiars start at INT 8 and that stat increases by one at every other level. A sorcerer of INT 14, assuming they only increase CHA instead of INT, would have a familiar of INT 15.

    At about that point, the familiar will be smarter than the master.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:29 No.14621387
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    We must evolve to combat them. We have the intelligence, we only need the stinging wrath of bees.

    Bring me your feeble forms, and I shall make you gods.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:29 No.14621390
    So it would end up as a Bob and Harry type situation?
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:30 No.14621395
    I wouldn't discount any animal for its intelligence. Chimps make spears which they use to hunt bush babies. The idea that animals aren't smart is a quaint Victorian convention.

    That being said, everything I've read about owls suggests they are as sharp as a bag of marshmallows. Those giant eyes need giant visual processing in order to hunt in low-light conditions. Doesn't leave much room upfront to do... well anything. They hunt real good but they are no crows.

    Is that true? That's bullshit. Kenku are just short of true fae in shit you do not want to fight.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:30 No.14621396

    i want to try dolphin. i really want to eat dolphin.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:31 No.14621399
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    > They can also see infrared, ultraviolet and visible, have 16 photoreceptor proteins
    > infrared, ultraviolet and visible
    > and visible

    mfw i thought i read "invisible"
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:32 No.14621402
    There was one capable of speech, but he died pretty young.
    The advantage of parrots is that they live longer.
    I think we need to start teaching groups of parrots human speech.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:33 No.14621409
    They start at 6 int, and your intelligence doesn't modify the familiar's intelligence score.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:34 No.14621415

    cone shells. cone shells can manufacture specifically tailored poisons ad hoc. gimme that and some distance deliver system (like dart) I'll take these motherfuckers on.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:34 No.14621419
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    I wont lie to you, I have been wanting to make a character based off the crow from Rango
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:35 No.14621421
    >You don't even need the other birds anymore
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:35 No.14621428
    >crow, mantis shrimp, and octopus DNA
    And so, the first Illithids were created.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:37 No.14621438
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    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:39 No.14621447
    Hymenopterans already have better allies than us feeble humans can ever hope to be. Ichneumon wasps have a polydnavirus encoded in their genome as a symbiote, so when the wasp stings its caterpillar host and lays her eggs within, the virus will get to work and disable the immune system of the caterpillar, ensuring that the wasp eggs can develop in peace. Yes, they've tamed viruses. In addition, their mandibles and stingers are also laced with manganese or zinc, making their tips able to drill straight through wood. Yes, they're slowly becoming cyborg wasps, and they're not the only animals to reject the feeble organic flesh - chitons for example have magnetite-coated teeth and a certain deep sea snail, Crysomallon squamiferum, uses iron sulfides to construct its shell.

    So look forward to metal wasps with inbuilt viruses. Oh yeah, it's also been recently discovered that an obscure group of all-female rotifers (they facilitate gene exchange by means of lesbian necrophilia, so it's one of my greatest wishes for a good monstergirl artist to draw those) are able to steal genes from other organisms, including humans, so look forward to those as well.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:39 No.14621448
    >learn to speak (and some dare say understand the meaning of) a number of words
    >Crows can speak


    No, sorry, I call bullshit. Crows are not Parrots.

    Is there video evidence?
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:41 No.14621455

    Control of smaller, foreign cells is built into every human being, and probably every lifeform on earth. It isn't that impressive (though the mind control / disable immune system stuff is)
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:41 No.14621457
    Don't kno about crows but Ravens can learn to speak.
    Or that is to say, mimic sounds.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:42 No.14621460
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    >iron sulfides to construct its shell
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:43 No.14621461
    You know what else is amazingly intelligent? Cuttlefish. They developed a significant brain capacity to process everything needed for the complex color changing they can do. They're very curious, and are able to learn and solve puzzles (particularly visual).

    Problem is, they have very short lifespans, so it's hard to determine how much they're capable of learning, say, language skills.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:43 No.14621462
    Actually, corvids are capable of limited vocalization.
    What, did you think the Raven saying "Nevermore" was just a poetic liberty? You could totally train a raven to do that, if not understand it. Look on Wikipedia, see how it's sourced and everything.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:44 No.14621469
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:46 No.14621478
    >undoes laces while you're working
    The ravens are learning our weaknesses.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:47 No.14621490
    training a raven to say that and sit above someone's door would be one of the most dick moves ever
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:48 No.14621494
    Brb buying a bird.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:48 No.14621498

    what if we spliced them with those immortal jellyfish?
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:49 No.14621501
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:49 No.14621503
    Can I borrow yours when you're done?
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:51 No.14621514
    Brb buying two.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:51 No.14621516
    Just use a parrot.
    It's more effective.
    >> !iN.MY.aRMs 04/17/11(Sun)06:51 No.14621518
    cat having a conversation with crows. bizarre
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:53 No.14621526
    So can Pigeons, OP.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:53 No.14621529
    Ever heard of YouTube?


    Ravens mimicking human words is older than...The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe (1845).

    Their verbal mimicry isn't that impressive though. Crows can communicate amongst themselves. More importantly they can distinguish between humans wearing two different masks and communicate that one is dangerous and the other is not. And crows that have encountered neither of them before understand that distinction and react appropriately.


    How many words would you require to get that across? And would you have any faith in your fellow humans to know the difference?
    >> !iN.MY.aRMs 04/17/11(Sun)06:53 No.14621531
    OH. MY. GOD.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:54 No.14621537
    wait a minute... crows have been using cats as their spies. In return for their collaboration the crows lead unsuspecting lesser birds to fly against windows so they are easy prey for the cats

    They learn all our deepest secrets through those we thought off as our pets.

    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:57 No.14621551
    We have long known cats are treacherous bastards, this comes as no surprise.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:57 No.14621553

    Servants of the Dark One. All of them.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:58 No.14621555
    One of my favorite cuttlefish videos. Aww, look at the cute octopus playing with the diver's tools! WAIT WHAT
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)06:59 No.14621559

    We humans can go into space, but communicating the difference between two masks, that's our limit. Come on.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)07:02 No.14621573
    They raise them from a kitten http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fAGzY9rnaA&feature=related
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)07:03 No.14621578
    In fact, it seems that crows like to play favorites with cats. I remember watching a video not long ago where two cats were facing each other down, and a pair of crows who obviously hated one of the cats helped the other out. The crows totally instigated the fight, and when the cats were staring each other down pre-fight, they started harassing the one, landing behind him and biting his tail, and generally distracting him. Crazy stuff.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)07:03 No.14621580
    sleeper agents

    they planted god damn sleeper agents in our homes
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)07:04 No.14621587
    Crows are basically evil kender that fly.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)07:06 No.14621591
    Reading the caption on that video was heart-breaking. The author in two cases watched octopuses get attacked by cuttlefish and in both cases the octopuses just wanted shiny, shiny metal tools so they could kill all filthy surface-dwellers.

    And it looks like Kenku are first level monsters in D&D? That's bullshit. Off the top of my head I'd give them five hit dice minimum. Fuckers are scary dangerous smart.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)07:07 No.14621593
    nah crows aren't randumb

    they have a plan

    stealing shiny things isn't just some silly thing, they're stealing our gems and gold to finance their evil schemes
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)07:07 No.14621597
    They're not first level monsters.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)07:08 No.14621601
    It's the shitty downgraded nonmagic version.
    Like elves and fey.
    They do get mimicry and flanking rape, though.
    I even like the fluff they had in that old Dragon...
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)07:08 No.14621606
    It's less heartbreaking when you find the videos of Octopi strangling sharks to death.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)07:09 No.14621608

    They want our tech.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)07:09 No.14621611
    they kill sharks?

    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)07:09 No.14621613
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    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)07:17 No.14621647
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    Crows are awesome, yes.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)07:20 No.14621665

    >they kill sharks?
    Yes. Yes they do.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)07:25 No.14621695
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    Cutlefish are cute motherfuckers. I wonder whgere I could get one as a pet.

    Just look at them cute mini reapers.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)07:25 No.14621698
    I loled
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)07:29 No.14621716
    I wish to call them cuddlefish, but they might resent that.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)07:30 No.14621729

    i used to work at an aquarium for summer. keeping cuttles is really difficult, they just kinda die.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)07:30 No.14621732
    >Just look at them cute mini reapers.

    >cute mini reapers.

    >mini reapers

    And now all cuttlefish have Sovereign's voice in my head.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)07:35 No.14621755

    i used to work at an aquarium, they are hard to keep, they just kinda... drop dead. the marine biologists had no idea why.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)07:37 No.14621776

    Were they shipped from elsewhere? According to the 20 seconds I spent on google, they're not good at travelling and tend to die shortly after arriving. They also require a very specific set of tank conditions, and if they're fed freshwater feeder fish they could be poisoned by the copper-based medicine often used on those fish.

    From what I understand, if you want to keep cuttlefish as pets you have to be really willing to put a lot of effort into caring for them, and the only way to get a full lifespan out of them if you live in North America is to order a clutch of eggs and raise them until they hatch.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)07:38 No.14621777
    dont they get like... a high wis?
    thing is, they are only int 2 cus anyone of int 3 or higher are: sentient, able to speak, subject to aligments
    ...and crows got two out three there...?
    or even...three...out...of....
    I need to think about this a bit...
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)07:42 No.14621802
    Some crows will adopt natural enemies because a wounded or orphaned infant is overall innocent.

    Some will murder these same beings, not out of fear or defense, not for food, but because they can.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)07:44 No.14621808
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    shalam brother crow!
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)07:47 No.14621823
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    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)07:55 No.14621841

    brought in from out in the local bay. it was something like that, and because they are pelagic, they smack the glass.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)07:59 No.14621858

    Where did you think bioware got it's idea for the reaper design?

    Cuttlefishes motherfucker, that's where. Cephalopods are the best sea creatures around.
    Goddam sea aliens.

    My life long dream has been to genetically engineer them to be more social and live longer, so that they can build underwater civilizations and shit. Then I want to make them able to live on land...
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:04 No.14621888
    Not sure if that constitutes alignment. On the other hand they can recognize faces and harass humans who bother them and anecdotally change behavior (minimized vocalization) around those who have rescued stranded crow infants. Lawful?
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:04 No.14621889

    Are you trying to kill us all?
    You must know this can only end badly.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:05 No.14621893
    Crows do not use tools to build other tools, OP.

    To a cognitive psychologist, this is actually a really important distinction.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:07 No.14621907
    Except for those of us who befriend them, show them the ways of power and technology, and assist them in their conquest not out of fear of destruction, but love of the new world order.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:07 No.14621910
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    >mfw because of /tg/ I now fear shrimp, bees, and crows
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:09 No.14621922

    some species are pretty damn social. or are we talking eusocial, cos eusocial cuttlefish... oh yeah!
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:09 No.14621924
    >"When scientists attached small cameras to the tails of some New Caledonian crows, they discovered the birds were using sticks to get bugs out of trees. Typical bird stuff, right? Well, they also used stiff leaves and grass to manufacture knives, then used those knives to manufacture other tools."

    Taken from the cracked article above.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:12 No.14621938

    i see a problem here.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:12 No.14621941
    brb factcheckan
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:14 No.14621953
    Back. Check sources for credentials.

    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:15 No.14621956
    You're gonna need a better source then cracked, homie, because shit like this wouldnt just fly under my radar.

    What defines human sentience as unique in academic terms is not the ability to use or craft tools, but the ability to use tools to create tools.

    Good citation is needed on this motherfucker, or gtfo.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:16 No.14621960

    But they do not take care of their young, nor teach them. They simply die shortly after reproduction, wich is a problem for a civilization building species. My intention is to eliminate this trait, so that the octopi/cuttlefish babbys can learn from the adults, instead of trial and error learning. If the parent octopi guard and teach the young as a group, more of them survive to reproduce.
    Eventually there will be countles family groups of adult octopi raising their children in unison, teachning them their ways. Eventually the family groups will start to interact with eachother, through trade, war and co-operation.
    I give you, the hunter gatherer octopi!
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:18 No.14621969
    Read your own damn source- those crows are not using tools to create tools, they are modifying existing ones.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:19 No.14621974
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    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:20 No.14621979
    You shouldn't. Cracked the website is far, far better than it should be, but it is. I'm a bit puzzled myself but they are remarkably solid.

    Also the reference to New Caledonia rings true. Lots of crow research going on there. Too lazy to google it, but tools to make tools? Doesn't surprise me for crows.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:26 No.14622011
    And is not the ability to add "innovative new features, such as a wheel or an engine, to previous designs" in fact "one of those traits some scientists believed made us unique"? An ability no other species including higher primates were found to be proficient in.

    And now crows are doing it. I don't know about you, but the fact that they're stenciling out the design and teaching each other how to use it, then improving it as they go and then teaching their improvements to others (thereby continuing the evolution of tool use) says something just as strong as "I made thing A and use it to make thing B".

    And let's not forget they are also the only non-human species that specifically develops lesser tool-use seen in lower animals such as other birds, or uses the tools of other species in a way that suits their own purposes.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:29 No.14622021
    you talking about metatool use?
    (hope the link works)
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:32 No.14622030
    [ ] Told
    [ ] Super Told
    [X] Toldasaurus Rex
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:34 No.14622040
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    Crows...I shall watch your progress with interest
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:34 No.14622041
    >>What defines human sentience as unique in academic terms is not the ability to use or craft tools, but the ability to use tools to create tools.

    From the wikipedia article.
    >>The process would usually start with Betty trying to get the food bucket with the straight wire, but then she would make a hook from it bending it in different ways, usually by snagging one end of the wire under something, and then using the bent hook to pick up the tray.

    "Oh," you might cry. "That something is not a made tool but something found in the environment."

    Fair enough. But you didn't specify using a made tool to make another made tool. A tool is something you use to do something else. A rock you use as a hammer is a tool regardless of whether you chip bits of it off.

    Humans don't have an exalted position on this planet, except for the fact that we are Charlie Sheen winners (highly successful, possibly self-destructive). Once we start looking at animals without preconceptions of us as the pinnacles of God's creation, they are pretty darn smart.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:35 No.14622045
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    curses! theyre on to us, my crow brethren!
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:36 No.14622049
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    on the note of dinosaurs, things in this thread OUTLIVED DINOSAURS. FUCK.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:39 No.14622054
    No, friend. If only it were so simple.

    Birds are the things the dinosaurs who survived extinction became.

    They simply matured. Changed. Assumed meeker and more humble forms, in which their ancient, clever minds continued their dark work. These crows, black and winged vessels of infinite cunning, are the culmination of hundreds of millions of years of saurian training.

    Soon they shall rid themselves of their feathered masks. We shall not be so lucky as they.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:41 No.14622059
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    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:43 No.14622072
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    their reptilian brains keep plotting and planning...for one day they will reclaim the throne of earth...
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:45 No.14622081

    I'm aware of birds being evolved dinosaurs... just evidence that you should be fucking scared.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:47 No.14622089
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    to use >pic releated<, there is evidence of crows being of up to secondary tool use of the sequential variety.
    There is no evidence for them being capable of constructive tool use.
    Still, extremely impressive.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:49 No.14622096

    Feckin' birds again.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:49 No.14622100
    Someone should let /an/ know about this thread. They might enjoy it.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:51 No.14622110
    Inverse appeal to authority. I forget the precise term, but fallacious.

    Told? Hell I'll flip that shit on you. Cracked.com is a remarkably good, if irreverent source.Where is your God now?
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:51 No.14622111
    So if crows can use tools,
    can they use weapons to attack other birds?
    BRB, making crow shanks
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:53 No.14622115
    Only a matter of time until they realize dropping a heavy object on an unwary animal kills it right quick.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:54 No.14622120

    Killed by fucking crows. They made us think we did it, but they worked an extinction on those bovine motherfuckers themselves.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)08:57 No.14622128
    They already drop nuts into oncoming traffic to break the shells and expose the meat, so it is only a matter of time.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)09:02 No.14622138
    so they are attacking our vechiles!?
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)09:03 No.14622140
    Worse. Using them for their own devices.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)09:05 No.14622146
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    > arming crows to wage war on other animals
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)09:07 No.14622153
    There are 5,500 species of mammals alive today.
    There are 10,000 species of living, breathing, intelligent and hardcore dinosaurs alive today.

    Think about it.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)09:10 No.14622163
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    I for one welcome our bird/dinosaur overlords. And I am prepared to compile a list of people that would work just dandy in the slat mines...or as dinner...
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)09:15 No.14622184
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    got a cool story bros
    i live in japan in a small countryide town and abt a month after movin here i was walkin back home one day through a field behind my house where some crows were cawing at each other, so i cawed back at them in the same way and it seemed to upset them or intrigue them they got more noisy and after i walked home they had followed me all the way there and kept cawing from the trees and bamboo grove in front of my house the reason behind tengu legend is maybe their being so smart i dunno
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)09:15 No.14622187
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    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)09:20 No.14622209

    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)09:21 No.14622215

    my capcha Crowley
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)09:21 No.14622216

    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)09:25 No.14622240
    because there used to be giant, carnivorous ducks?
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)09:29 No.14622270
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    >Quetzalcoatl the "Feathered-Serpent", Mayan god of the morning star
    Are you implying that the Mayans didn't worship dino-birds, or that a burning ball of flame won't descend from the sky raining fiery death, or that dinosaurs won't be reanimated?
    It's all more likely than you think.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)09:42 No.14622349
    Birds still have the genes for teeth growth. They're just not using them, but instead waiting for the stars to align.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)09:43 No.14622353
    >There have been studies in which crows were proven to communicate verbally with one another with a degree of sophistication such that they could describe the appearance of a particular person to harass.

    I thought it was just that all the crows were sitting together in the park when the guy in the mask returned, and the original crows started squawking their "hey that guy's a baddie" squawk and diving at him a bit. So all the crows watching got the message.

    An "ok so he's about 6 feet tall with a reddish complexion and brown hair" meeting seems a little...idk.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)09:49 No.14622407
    dude...dont underestimate them. thats what they WANT you to do!

    also, noticed how they have dialects? crows back home sound quite a bit different than crows donw 'ere in Britain
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:01 No.14622478
    Crows which never saw the subjects before, unaccompanied by the originals, still attacked the specific masked figures.

    They remembered the facial details, told their children and friends.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:03 No.14622491
    I'd say humans were lucky to have juuuuuust the right evolutionary pressures to forge us into what we've become.

    If other species had this balance they might have been the intelligent race and we are the weird hairless monkeys they have in zoos.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:05 No.14622502
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    >she liked masturbating to the screams of young slave girls being whipped
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:06 No.14622508
    or we'd walk out on the street and bump into a small crowman.
    ..."AH! Im sorry! forgive me, oh bird overlord!"
    "Yes yes, proceed, manling!"
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 04/17/11(Sun)10:09 No.14622524
    Or maybe:

    Humans, /tg/. Fucking humans.

    Humans can recognize faces, build tools, use tools to build other tools, solve logic problems, communicate with one another, pass their complex knowledge to next generations, learn to speak (and some dare say understand the meaning of) a number of words, and formulate effective strategies to prevent and counter against attacks on their kind.

    Why the fuck are they only INT 2 in D&D?
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:10 No.14622532

    "Fuck you buddy, I eat your embryos for BREAKFAST!"

    Also, Supernatural Registration Agency.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:12 No.14622542

    Whoever wrote d&d failed elementary level biology.

    Bear lore for instance. Total secret that
    >> northern /k/ommando 04/17/11(Sun)10:23 No.14622598
    pistol shrimps are quite awesome as well.

    >The animal snaps a specialized claw shut to create a cavitation bubble that generates acoustic pressures of up to 80 kPa at a distance of 4 cm from the claw. As it extends out from the claw, the bubble reaches speeds of 60 miles per hour (97 km/h) and releases a sound reaching 218 decibels. The pressure is strong enough to kill small fish. stunning larger fish and breaking small glass jars.

    >The snap can also produce sonoluminescence from the collapsing cavitation bubble. As it collapses, the cavitation bubble reaches temperatures of over 5,000 K (4,700 °C).
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:28 No.14622624

    Reminds me of that Fraken-Fran bit, man given eye implants from said creature.

    Least to say.. he saw beauty in things unimaginable.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:30 No.14622629

    Tiniest crabs utilize both ultra-sonic weaponry AND vacuum imploding.

    And we are still having problems. HOW HARD IS IT TO REPLICATE THAT
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:31 No.14622637
    FFFF we never got to see what his new dame actually WAS
    >> SMAP 04/17/11(Sun)10:33 No.14622648
    She's strongly implied to be some sort of Cthulan monstrosity, from the reactions. Supporting that theory is the fact that the author pretty much flat-out states the story was inspired by Song of Saya, so...
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:33 No.14622649
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    The Asian giant hornet (Vespa mandarinia), including the subspecies Japanese giant hornet (Vespa mandarinia japonica),[1] colloquially known as the yak-killer hornet,[2] is the world's largest hornet, native to temperate and tropical Eastern Asia. Its body length is approximately 50 mm (2 in), with a wingspan of about 76 mm (3 in).[3] The Japanese name for this insect is suzume bachi, literally "sparrow hornet".
    >known as the yak-killer hornet,
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:34 No.14622654
    Im gonna have to google that...right?
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:36 No.14622659
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    A few interesting notes on Vespa mandarinia's venom and stinger:

    * The venom contains at least eight distinct chemicals, some of which damage tissue, some of which cause pain, and at least one which has an odor that attracts more hornets to the victim.
    * The venom contains 5% acetylcholine, a greater concentration than is present in bee or other wasp venoms. Acetylcholine stimulates the pain nerve fibers, intensifying the pain of the sting.
    * Vespa mandarinia uses its large crushing mandibles, rather than its sting, to kill prey.
    * The venom of the Asian giant hornet is not as deadly by weight as some other bees or wasps (Vespa luctuosa has the most deadly wasp venom by weight), and is less toxic than honey-bee venom, but because of the large quantity of venom, this species has one of the greatest toxicities per sting.
    * The enzyme in the venom is so strong that it can dissolve human tissue. On some occasions, the sting may be compared to the effects of a spider bite.
    * Like all hornets, V. mandarinia has a barbless stinger, allowing it to sting repeatedly
    >> SMAP 04/17/11(Sun)10:37 No.14622663
    Loli porn game. Super-depressing, but reasonably well-written and some excellent background music. Play only if you hate your boner and yourself.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:38 No.14622667
    Fact, jackdaws have a social structure that is many times more complicated and rigid than that of wolves. For example, studies have shown that EVERY jackdaw has a clear rank in his group. This rank can be altered, of course. Say that, for example, a middle-ranking jackdaw "marries" a low-ranking jackdaw (yes, they form couples like that), then the low-ranking is instantly brought up to the exact same rank as the partner.
    Also, jackdaws can leave their groups for months at a time, and when they come back, the other jackdaws still remembers it. If the jackdaw has become "stronger" or mor experienced, then it is given a new rank.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:38 No.14622668

    But they can still get their shit kicked in by native Japanese honeybees.

    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:39 No.14622677
    I also think it's weird that apes have INT 2 as well. I'm pretty sure they're smarter then say, an Ogre.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:39 No.14622678

    I thought she was that walking organ factory. She is a one man eater!
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:40 No.14622680
    I regret googling that shit before i knew what it was : /
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:41 No.14622686
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    Picture related, it's a jackdaw.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:41 No.14622687
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    >I had a repeat experience last year in May, when I again had an octopus come out of its lair to try and take a shiny buckle which was attached to a rope. After a few minutes a cuttlefish attacked the octopus exactly as before. Unfortunately for the cuttlefish, this time the octopus managed to keep half its body free, and after a minute of intense struggle it slipped out of the cuttlefish's grip, and, I kid you not, sat on the cuttlefish's head. So there we were, I am looking at them holding my breath, the octopus is sitting on the cuttlefish's head, and the octopus is looking at me with a "Can you believe it" expression. After another minute of stillness, the octopus shot off in a cloud of ink, leaving the cuttlefish confused and exhausted.
    >>   04/17/11(Sun)10:42 No.14622694
    Damn nature, you scary!
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:43 No.14622700
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    >this thread
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:45 No.14622706
    I love these threads. I thought they weren't allowed anymore, I got banned for posting in one about crustaceans.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:46 No.14622709
    you mean when the bees ambush the scout hornet out numbering it 100s to 1 and bake it to death at 47 °C thus preventing it from gathering it's reinforcements and wiping out the hive.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:47 No.14622712
    because they rack disiprin!
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:49 No.14622726

    Yeah, isn't it awesome?

    Fuck, I love all the crazy stuff that evolution produces. Nature is badass.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:51 No.14622727
    I just want to clarify what this means: Every individual in a jackdaw flock keeps track of the ENTIRE group structure. Even if there's over a hundred jackdaws. That means they have greater social comprehension than wolves OR HUMANS.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:51 No.14622731
    One of our door swings inwards. Our cat has figured out how to hook her paw around and pull the door open from the inside, but she hasn't figured out how to push it open from the outside. Sits outside and mews to come in but casually lets herself back out when she wants to leave.

    I should get her a cat door but damn, if she's smart enough to figure out how to pull the handle to get out why can't she understand to just butt her head against it to get in?
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:52 No.14622733
    They had to remind you whose turf it really was.

    >>tropical oollac

    Damn right, Captcha
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:54 No.14622740
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    >and at least one which has an odor that attracts more hornets to the victim
    >attracts more hornets
    Jesus christ, how horrifying!
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:54 No.14622742
    >But they can still get their shit kicked in by native Japanese honeybees.

    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:55 No.14622746

    Why bother when you'll open the door for her?

    My cat discovered how to manipulate me into feeding him by banging on the window blinds at five in the morning until I get up to just make him stop.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:55 No.14622748
    And they kept doing it generations (crow generations, mind you) later. Their KIDS were taught to recognize the masks
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:56 No.14622752
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    BEES! My god!
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:57 No.14622755
    So? We never evolved in social groups that big so we don't have the brain structures in place to remember it all at once. Our other skills cover that deficiency enough to organize groups of millions of humans with the right systems.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:58 No.14622758

    Meh, it's not that spectacular. Insects have a horribly primitive respiratory system. The Bees simply camp out on the hornets and raise their body temperature by a few degrees. That kills'em good.

    That's what all bees worldwide do.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)10:59 No.14622761
    dragonflies can attack while appearing to remain stationary
    >Motion camouflage
    >is a dynamic type of camouflage by which an object can approach a target while appearing to remain stationary from the perspective of the target
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:00 No.14622770
    But she obviously bothered to learn to let herself out when I was doing that for her too.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:02 No.14622780
    >Meh, it's not that spectacular. Insects have a horribly primitive respiratory system. The Bees simply camp out on the hornets and raise their body temperature by a few degrees
    the temperature the bees reach would kill humans as well.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:02 No.14622781
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:05 No.14622792
    >citation needed
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:05 No.14622793
    I strongly recommend the book Kraken by Windy Williams. It's a good book on cephalopods and how fucking smart they are.

    There's a big argument over whether squid or octopus are smarter. Octopus live lives similar to ours (crawling along to work and going back to their cave every night), while squid are more alien, and therefore harder to gauge their intelligence.

    But the point is that if they lived as long as we do they would have colonies on Mars by now.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:06 No.14622801
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:07 No.14622809
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    >The animal snaps a specialized claw shut to create a cavitation bubble that generates acoustic pressures of up to 80 kPa at a distance of 4 cm from the claw. As it extends out from the claw, the bubble reaches speeds of 60 miles per hour (97 km/h) and releases a sound reaching 218 decibels. The pressure is strong enough to kill small fish. stunning larger fish and breaking small glass jars.

    >The snap can also produce sonoluminescence from the collapsing cavitation bubble. As it collapses, the cavitation bubble reaches temperatures of over 5,000 K (4,700 °C).

    Any math/science bros around that could reasonably upscale these statistics if some enterprising weapon's designer were to, say, design a gun modeled after the Pistol Shrimp's biology?

    What about...a tank?
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:08 No.14622818
    >Fun fact: familiars start at INT 8 and that stat increases by one at every other level. A sorcerer of INT 14, assuming they only increase CHA instead of INT, would have a familiar of INT 15.

    >At about that point, the familiar will be smarter than the master.
    A capable sorcerer doesn't need 14 intelligence. Hell, a capable sorcerer doesn't need 8 intelligence.
    You could have an idiot sorcerer who is completely dependent on their familiar for guidance. It'd could be like a more magical Minsc and Boo. "Sword is impressive, but now, Charlie leads. Magics for everyone!"
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:08 No.14622821
    thats telekinesis, Anon.
    But how about the power....to move you?
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:11 No.14622836
    Wow, I'm sold. Next character for sure. It could be done semi-seriously, purely comically or incredibly sinister.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:11 No.14622837
    # 40°C (104°F) - Fainting, dehydration, weakness, vomiting, headache and dizziness may occur as well as profuse sweating.
    # 41°C (105.8°F) - (Medical emergency) - Fainting, vomiting, severe headache, dizziness, confusion, hallucinations, delirium and drowsiness can occur. There may also be palpitations and breathlessness.
    # 42°C (107.6°F) - Subject may turn pale or remain flushed and red. They may become comatose, be in severe delirium, vomiting, and convulsions can occur. Blood pressure may be high or low and heart rate will be very fast.
    # 43°C (109.4°F) - Normally death, or there may be serious brain damage, continuous convulsions and shock. Cardio-respiratory collapse will occur.
    # 44°C (111.2°F) or more - Almost certainly death will occur; however, patients have been known to survive up to 46.5°C
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:11 No.14622838

    Anyone being overwhelmed by huge swarms are more likely to get stung or choked to death as their lung are filled with live bees.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:13 No.14622846

    I can imagine it now. Entire squadrons of soldiers, equipped with Pistol Shrimp "Shotguns", blowing holds through walls melting people with the afterburn.


    I don't even want to imagine what a fucking TANK would do.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:13 No.14622848
    Oh man I want to play a completely retarded sorcerer now.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:15 No.14622863

    Pistols Shrimp get eaten by the tyranids.

    Eat your fucking hearts out Noise Marines!
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:16 No.14622868
    Fuck me, now I want to tame ravens and acquire a bird cult.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:17 No.14622879
    Fucking awesome.

    I made a mistake, they do actually start at int 6, but at level 7-8 they already have int 9.

    It really is a good concept.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:21 No.14622911
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    im many countries you can get special permission to keep a crow as a pet. when I was a wee lil' lad I had this...what to do you call it? day-mommy? woman that watches you while your parents work...
    anyways, she had a dog and a crow. shit was so cattle
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:22 No.14622917
    >Any math/science bros around that could reasonably upscale these statistics if some enterprising weapon's designer were to, say, design a gun modeled after the Pistol Shrimp's biology?

    Scaling will probably never allow that neat trick to work outside of their current size range.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:24 No.14622929
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    >The snapping (pistol) shrimp competes with much larger animals like the Sperm Whale and Beluga Whale for the title of 'loudest animal in the sea'.
    >> снайпер 04/17/11(Sun)11:25 No.14622933
    If you live in the US, it's illegal to own an American crow as a pet. African crow, different story.

    I don't know why, maybe they're on an endangered species list or something.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:25 No.14622937
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    I see what you did there.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:27 No.14622952
    thank you. you may suck my dick now, if you please
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:27 No.14622953
    That doesn't answer the question. Humans have a lot less surface area relative to our mass than a hornet. How will the higher temperature bees overheat a human, even a human the size of a bee?
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:28 No.14622958
    Not to rain on anyone's parade, but its not like a pistol shrimp gun would work outside of the water. I mean sure you could get a water filled gun and create the shockwave inside but to harness that power... would be... hmm...

    Oh god dammit.

    brb learning mad science
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:29 No.14622970
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    solution..... MORE BEEEEEEES

    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:30 No.14622975
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    Screw you guys, I'm introducing these guns into my next setting and there's nothing you can do to dissuade me!

    I'll just say they work through the power of SCIENCE.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:34 No.14623001
    You just need the energy to change form. The shockwave travels through the water cannon, hits a special membrane/whatever on the end and becomes a sonic bullet. Or hit hits something with more SCIENCE! and becomes a EXPLODING PLASMA BULLET
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:37 No.14623018
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    No. Solution: boner. Sounds like a captcha.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:38 No.14623027
    >Currently as a exchange student in rural, ass-end australia, cunt extra-ordinaire.
    >Paint orks, keep saying "MAKE EEET CHOPPYYYY"
    >Suddenly hear a echo
    >Notice that there is a god damn lyrebird outside.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:38 No.14623029
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    Perfect! What's more, we're talking about a gun with limitless "ammunition" and monstrous destructive power.

    Now, how to reliably make use of the intense amounts of heat generated by the collapsing cavitation bubble... Could that somehow be expelled from the front of the gun in a wave of superheated death?
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:39 No.14623040

    Now you just need to find another Lyrebird and teach it to say "No, more DAKKA!"

    Then they can have hilarious arguments with each other like any proper ork.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:41 No.14623057

    They are ultimate tools for trolling. You have no idea how often I hear "FUCK YOU TOO BUDDEH!" or "CUNT CUNT CUNT" in the trees.

    Its either those damn birds or australians are evolving to live in the trees.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:41 No.14623062
    alrigh, does /tg/ want some stories about crows? of course, I do not have proof these stories actualy happened, but they are as old as fairy tales around here.

    In one of them, a crow starts a friendship with a dog. The dog is old, but they get along just fine, and travel a bit around the parts, both enjoy chasing cats.
    One day, the dog, tired from a long walk and journey, lies down on a road, to get some sleep and catch his breath, he hasent eaten much lately and is weak. The crow wants to watch after him, and as a rich merchant approaches in a wagon with two horses, the crow yells out for him to stop, so he doesnt hurt the dog. But the merchant does not care, and runs the dog over, that slept to deeply to react in time.
    That is when the crow snaps. Its best friend robbed because someone was too full of himself to just drive a curve or wait but a moment.
    The crow is pissed, and swears revenge. Immeadiatly, it starts pecking out the horses eyes. The horses start running in pain, the merchant looses control over the wagon and even as he tries to get the control back, the horses are long since blind, having their eyes lost. His wagon crashes, the horses run off, all of his goods spilled and destroyed. But, he is only slightly wounded. He curses the crow, which is sitting in a tree above him, glaring at him.
    So he has to go home on foot, and claims that the crows struggle wont bother him, he already has bought all the food he needs for the winter long ago, he has lots of ham, wheat and cheese, he will not starve and if its the longset winter of all time, and wearing his helm, the crow will not be able to hurt his face.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:42 No.14623066
    My cat does the same thing. He'll tap things on my desk in a sort of warning "if you don't get up I'll knock this off". He doesn't react/stop to me yelling or slapping the bed or anything, just me getting up. Drives me nuts.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:43 No.14623082

    The crow just followed him, all the time, and it starts to get winter. the first snow falls, the merchant knows he cant travel to the city anymore, without wagon or horses the market is too far away. But he fears not, but he cant get over the crow, still following him around.
    But one day, its gone. It dissapeared, maybe traveled with other birds, or just starved to death from watching him all day, he couldnt care less.
    But one night, in one very, very cold night, he wakes up. There were noises. strange noises. he stands up, and lights a candle to go check on the noises.
    So he follows the noises. And those lead him into his storage. He opens the door...
    and saw what was happening in there.
    Vermin. Mouses, rats, crows, ravens, thousands of different little animals, all gathered in the room, eating up all of his food, craping in his water. He yells and tries to chase them away, but they just evade his angry fists and feet and keep eating up all of his stored food in a frenzy.
    Nearly crying, he looks across the room, and there is only one animal that isnt eating.
    The crow. It is sitting atop a barrel. Staring at him with a hateful glare.
    The merchant yells at it
    *you devilish creature, what do you hope to accomplish with this, I still have enough money to buy new food! And you will not harm me, as long as I wear-* This is where he stops speaking. Because he just realized something. As he got up, he was half asleep, and wary because of the noises. In his hurry to get there, he forgot to put on his helmet.
    The crow, now raising its head, lifting its wings, speaks a single word:
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:44 No.14623084
    And with this, it jumps into the merchants face, who is unable to defend it properly, and within one, two, three, four angry peaks.... his eyes are gauged out. He cries out in pain, holding his hands over the empty sockets where his eyes used to be, cursing the crow and all its comrades.
    But suddenly, it was quiet. he stoped yelling, trying to orientate, when he heard the door shut, and the key turning. Then, the sound of a light metal object hitting the stone, as if the key just fell to the ground somewhere in the room.
    the merchant tries to open the door, but its closed shut and locked, and he stats crawling around, trying to find the key, cursing the crow and promising he will get it for this as soon as he finds the key and gets out of the room.

    Somewhere, outside, the crow lets the key fall into the snow. It is made of light metal. Just as the coin, that droped earlier.

    Later they found the merchant, when the spring came and they wondered where he was. He starved to death in his empty storage room, sorrounded by countless coins, and one, single black feather in his hand.

    it is probably just a fairy tale.
    Maybe its just a story.

    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:46 No.14623096
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    > MFW chainsaw trees falling impersonation
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:46 No.14623101

    You shouldn't be surprised if you hear loud "DAKKADAKKADAKKA" in zeh australia.

    Those birds listened to my every god damn, I even mooned them and let out a fart that shook the very earth itself, dunno what that did but, still..

    god damnit.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:52 No.14623150
    Better to look at it from the other angle: create a superheated plasma energy weapon, but creating an effect to shoot it is too difficult/expensive/fragile.

    Something else to remember is that the superheated bubble may be really hot but only in a single point. It isn't much energy to actually do anything over a large scale... except if you wanted to trigger a fission reaction.

    ...Oh god. OH GOD.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)11:53 No.14623154
    >I said fission when I meant fusion, herpaderp
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)12:07 No.14623248
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    Go on man, I'm hanging on your every damn word!
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)12:14 No.14623301

    >the superheated bubble may be really hot but only in a single point

    What if the gun had some way of storing this excess heat with each successive shot, and could then vent it out all at once in the face of an enemy?

    Or maybe the stored heat could be used to power some other function/weapon mode?
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)12:15 No.14623314
    I don't know man, I just don't know. I'm seeing fucking fusion happen, sonoluminescence in heavy water is actually been how cold fusion was attempted to be made. This of course wouldn't be cold, but rather hot. You need to add and tweak things of course to make reactions happen, since the water thing didn't work out. It'll be a nasty, radioactive and explosive brew. But when you do BAM you have your energy, you have your heat, and you figure out how to throw it all into one big self contained nuclear shockwave bullet. Just gotta refill the brew now and then.

    The science here is more than questionable of course. But you're using SCIENCE so you're good.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)12:20 No.14623339
    On the subject of crows, one of my favourite D&D characters, an elf ranger, had a crow as an animal companion. He was a bow/skill monkey/scouting type of character, so I thought an avian scout would seem logical for him rather than a giant bear or whatever. I named him Matthew, after -that- crow.

    Eventually, the ranger was transformed and turned into some sort of rock golem, more or less dying as a playable character.

    ...I still do not know what became of Matthew. The locals in the village, the DM said, had apparently seen sightings of a birdsnest somewhere in the village.

    Godspeed, Matthew, you were the best companion a one-eyed elf could ever have.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)12:23 No.14623357
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)12:24 No.14623366

    While I have your ear (eyes?) anyway, what would you suggest utilizing instead of water to produce this effect?

    Doesn't need to be feasible, just Sciencey enough to sound plausible to a layman (read: the players).
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)12:31 No.14623409
    This thread really could use an archive, it's had a lot more usable ideas for gaming than most of the crap we've had recently.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)12:33 No.14623423
    A tachyon transponder field.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)12:37 No.14623458

    What is it with tachyons that make anything involving them seem instantly better?
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)12:38 No.14623462
    The real science relies on heavy water (deuterium instead of hydrogen) so start with that and spike it with a cocktail of fissile substances to make the ignition easier and a chemical mix to make the reaction die quickly. As the concentrations of it run too low the weapon runs out of "ammo".

    I can't quite the science of the actual bullet out of my ass, so just go with the radioactive hot plasma bullet as a result, maybe say the plasma is fed by extracting the gassified chemical result from the fluid.

    Now really that's all I've got to give on this.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)12:39 No.14623472
    The solution is elegant yet simple
    We must breed mantis shrimp that will survive in heavy water.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)12:41 No.14623482

    I... I think if you did they would be engulfed in an explosion when they tried. But at the rate they're evolving they won't much care about that. Oh dear.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)12:53 No.14623577
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    Thank you for allowing me to pick your brain!

    Now to get one of these bad boys into the hands of an unstable bipolar galactic terrorist and let the fun commence!
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)12:57 No.14623602
    Oh god I have more. Make sure the bullet has a packet of strongly interacting electric and magnetic fields, that way it even carries through SPACE
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)13:03 No.14623656
    reading this reminds me of the plasma weapons from fallout

    >renCandu Pearcy
    ...How about you stay the fuck away from the nuclear reactor captcha?
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)13:06 No.14623679
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    Now, how solid would this hypothetical "bullet" be? Because the basic idea is starting from the pistol shrimp's "Sonic Punch" model, so would it wind up being a fusion/plasma/electrically charged concussive blast laced with partially radioactive materials?
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)13:07 No.14623690

    I really want to find one of those African crows. Or really any corvid. I've always desperately wanted a raven but they're just too big, it wouldn't be fair to the bird.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)13:07 No.14623693
    Guys, Ravens are smarter than Crows, and Ravens have been shown to have the intelligence of a five year old.

    Are you seriously afraid of a five year old?
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)13:09 No.14623708
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    You've never had to spend time with a truly horrible child, have you?
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)13:11 No.14623728

    Well, yes. Of five year olds that can fly and have fucking sharp claws.

    Hardly anyone is aware that al birds come with fucking sharp claws.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)13:16 No.14623771
    Pretty much yeah. It would be "solid" in only that it keeps itself together instead of dispersing too soon. In space it would carry itself even better. But note this makes electromagnetic pulses into perhaps an effective defense against them. That would require far more energy that it takes to power them though... or try to focus them or shoot similar energy blasts at them but that would be as effective as the "star wars" program (read: not at all) so their pretty much screwed in any case.

    As far as appearance just make it a standard glowy "pew pew pew". Until it hits of course. The heat is enough to leave a hole, and the unravelling of the energy should burn a sizeable chunk around and in front of it.

    >god my brain I should be asleep aaaaggghh
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)13:22 No.14623807
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    That's the last detail I needed from you!

    Get to sleep, so you can get on again later and help more ineffectually incompetent-at-science people such as myself build weapons of horrible destruction!
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)13:22 No.14623813
    Well wait that's kinda dumb even for sci-fi, you can leave that out unless you're trying to be campy.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)13:27 No.14623843

    I figure I'll basically have each shot look like a barely-contained mass of irradiated superheated shards connected by a matrix of electrical signals. The sheer noise of a single blast will probably be enough to shatter glass and burst every damn unprotected eardrum in a several block radius.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)13:32 No.14623876
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    And you're going to give this to a galactic terrorist?
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)13:33 No.14623886
    Give? HAHAHAHAno. Sell.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)13:33 No.14623887
    >The crow, now raising its head, lifting its wings, speaks a single word:

    Was I the only one expecting the crow to say "Never more."?
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)13:41 No.14623951
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    Well, it's technically part of a massive gambit to terrify the populaces of border worlds into buying into my own character's (a big-shot entertainment mogul) luxury items and soothing viral advertisements while also getting the terrorist in question to take out the scientists involved in a secret genetics research division under his command that defected with company secrets.

    So, yeah. The more collateral damage, the better!
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)13:46 No.14623989
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    I don't suppose this is your character?
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)15:04 No.14624755
    The Deuterium/Hydrogen Discharge Weapon, colloquially known as the DHD or The Squirt Gun, changed the nature of space warfare forever. No longer did the space fighter have to rely on slow gas driven high explosives, or railguns that drained your ship's capacitor in one shot. Now even the tiniest civilian shuttle could carry enough firepower to send an armored station screaming into the atmosphere, venting air and startled crewmen.

    What many people never bothered to ask is, how does this miracle weapon work? What's in these big sloshing batteries that have to be replaced after each shot? And why do I occasionally hear a tiny scratching sound if I hold one to my ear? The answer, of course, is a closely guarded secret, if only because those who hear it often die of laughter.

    That answer is shrimp.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)17:15 No.14625863
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)18:01 No.14626232
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    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)18:08 No.14626282
    bump for bird terror
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)18:16 No.14626346
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    >I will gun down every single one of these bastards before they evolve any further.

    Come at bro! I got four arms to your two. We'll see who guns down who!
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)18:46 No.14626569
    Those cavitation bubbles can't be scaled up.
    Sorry anons.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)18:46 No.14626570
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    < This giant woodlouse is not very interesting.

    I mean, sure it's a bit bigger than surface lice, or even their shallow-water relatives, but really how could anyone respect an animal that routinely gets caught up in fishing nets and dies.
    What is interesting, though, is the general condition that this louse, as well as the various giant/colossal squid, octopi, spider crabs etc, are symptomatic of: abyssal gigantism.

    Basically, invertebrates that live down deep tend towards larger body size and longer lifespans, as well as a diminished need for constant activity (read: more time to think).
    The isopod species pictured is found in the fossil record 160 million years ago, suggesting that our last few extinction events didn't reach down to the bottom of the ocean. There could be shrimp down there with written tradition stretching back to the time of the dinosaurs.

    Meanwhile we're just dumping shit down in there like straight-up don't give a fuck.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)18:52 No.14626612
    I'm suddenly reminded of the Giant Isopod critters in Vashj'ir.

    Didn't know Blizzard had that much biology knowledge between them, what with the whole "One-Hoofed Zehvra" debacle.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)18:57 No.14626638
    For now I choose not to believe this post. My current understanding of fluid physics is that it's pretty much all about the dimensionless constants, which means that anything that happens in one fluid is going to happen in a different scale in a fluid with different characteristics. Feel free to prove me wrong, though.

    I lold out loud at this, though. Pressure waves in space, indeed.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)19:04 No.14626712
    real life crows =/= dnd crows
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)19:06 No.14626737
    >but really how could anyone respect an animal that routinely gets caught up in fishing nets and dies.
    Like dolphins?
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)19:06 No.14626741
    If you move an object in water rapidly enough, you can get a cavitation bubble. If a ships propellers are spun fast enough that will produce cavitation bubbles for instance.

    The only way to get larger cavitation bubbles would be to have a very large object moving very quickly through a liquid. Don't use the word 'fluid' here, we are specifically talking about liquids that can vaporize. This won't work in air.
    If you can move a very large object, very rapidly, why would you be using the cavitation bubbles produced as a weapon? They can't exist in air anyways and we are talking about a gun that has a large, fast moving object in it. Just use that kinetic energy to launch something at whoever you don't like.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)19:07 No.14626758
    >Feel free to prove me wrong, though.
    I thought /tg/ was better than this?
    "Prove me wrong" is the ultimate cry of the debater who has nothing to back themselves up with.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)19:15 No.14626828
    As the one who pulled the previous pseudoscience out of his ass, I should say that the weapon I described doesn't actually shoot cavitation bubbles, but transforms it directly into a different shockwave with a new carrier and medium. Using the fluids and shockwaves replaces what would otherwise be very precise and difficult to produce machinery. The actual feasibility of those technologies are where you aren't supposed to think too much.

    I know I didn't.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)19:36 No.14627013
    it's ok, I'm not really from tg.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)19:53 No.14627159
    Friction becomes really significant at high speeds underwater. That's why Russian (now Iranian) designs for high-speed torpedoes (they're almost underwater missiles, even) rely on supercavitation.
    >> GL Pretentious Hipster !!NU1qDw5ZF2C 04/17/11(Sun)19:53 No.14627164
    As an anthropologist, I am greatly enjoying this thread.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)20:13 No.14627336
    then run them in parallel
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)20:17 No.14627364
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    we could get a battalion of pistol shrimp to all fire at once.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)23:23 No.14629106
    this thread was better before shrimp
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)23:42 No.14629291
    when i lived at home as a teenager, my cat, my brother`s corgi, by sister`s shar-pei, and my mom`s bulldog, would have these weird little meetings. like legion of doom style. i thought my brother was just really really stoned when he told me. i said well where are those little shits then? i went outside and i heard all these little noises, and i looked under the house in the crawlspace, were the animals. having a fucking boardmeeting. it was so goddamned surreal. i actually fucking apologized to them and said "i was just wondering where you guys were. just let know when you want in. "

    i havent had a good nights sleep since that night. and i certainly dont trust an animal now.
    >> Anonymous 04/17/11(Sun)23:54 No.14629401
    One day years back I was walking home from school through the park forest.
    I heard crows making a loud ruckus and went to see what was happening.
    I saw a group of crows forming a sort of circle, and snuck up closer.
    In the center was another crow and a robin.
    The crow in the center was taking shots pecking at the robin while the circle around seemed to be cheering... or at least making annoying crow sounds.
    I ran up and shooed them away, and they just flew up to the nearby trees and continued cawing at me.
    I picked up the injured bird and brought it to my backyard.
    No idea if it recovered, but it wasn't there the next day so I'd like to think it got better.
    Fuckin most disturbing thing I'd ever seen in my life though.
    >> Anonymous 04/18/11(Mon)00:27 No.14629690
    Try checking the Tonmo forums
    >> Anonymous 04/18/11(Mon)08:10 No.14632974
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    >> Anonymous 04/18/11(Mon)08:44 No.14633179
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    >> Anonymous 04/18/11(Mon)10:03 No.14633598
    This should be archived.
    >> Anonymous 04/18/11(Mon)12:03 No.14634403
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