Proceed OP

NOT SAMEFAG

but please go on

you have my attention op

Oh yes, the girlfriend. This will end well.

We had some inter-group dating going on at one time. The drama was mostly behind the scenes thank goodness, but both sides tried to recruit me to their point of view. It eventually ended with the girl leaving our circle of friends. Shit sucks because she was the ONLY girl.

Ok, OP, I'll bite. What happens?

Relevant, interest, etc.

I think the OP will be typing for a while probably due to not pre-typing this in Notepad or equivalent

I've been in that situation before, only the break up was between THAT GUY and his girlfriend had the most obnoxious wannabe jock friends ever. And they started harassing THAT GUY to the point of trashing his room, stealing all of his shit, and actually threatening him with a gun. And the ex did nothing about her friends. So in the end I took THAT GUY's side.

... Proceed

the rest of the story

Almost had a group ruined by girlfriend drama. There was this nice 6/10 nerdy girl that a couple of guys in my group fell for, and they both wanted her bad, and she had to pick one of them, so of course, the guy that doesn't get her immediately gets moody and pissy. I thought, alright, it's a phase, I'll let him deal with it.

A fucking month later, he still wasn't over it, and instigated arguments with the other guy every other time, was always a dick to the girl, and it translates into the game as well, as he tries to screw over their characters constantly.

Pulled him aside, asked him to cut it out and deal with his shit or he's not welcome at my games anymore. Turns out, he still couldn't deal with it and I thought it'd be best if he just stopped coming, and it's been all the better for it without the stupid jealousy drama.

OP, write your story out beforehand before posting it.

>>14487824

Well, next session rolls around and the girlfriend walks in. Not a bad looking girl. Skinny with dark brown hair, glasses and a mousey but cute face. Kind of the stereotypical nerdy girl. However, red flags start going up all over the place when I notice that she dresses like an explosion in a Hot Topic.

My ire was further raised by the fact that they showed up an hour and a half late. I could spend half this post ranting about that, but this thread is about groan inducing character concepts. Let's just say she dragged him to an expensive sushi bar on the other side of town, didn't bring us any and every time I called his response was "Don't start yet, I'll be there in 15 minutes."

Now, we sit down to start character creation. Character creation in Shadowrun 4th is a pretty involved process and I asked her to show up early, but sushi run. She immediately asks if she can play a Free Spirit. On day one of this campaign, I politely asked my players not to make Free Spirit characters. When I explain this, she gets pissy and tries to talk her way into doing it anyway.

Turns out she had a character concept already in mind, an ancient Kitsune spirit.

>>14488073
... Where perchance op are you from. Also, is your rage face epic?

>>14488073

>Ancient Kitsune Spirit

You know, if she had shown up on time instead of making everyone else wait on her, I probably would've given her the benefit of the doubt and let her do it. That kind of blatant disregard for other people's schedules kind of tips you off that she's not going to play nice with the rest of the group in the actual game though.

>>14488073
bumping this to insure OP gets to post the rest of this.

>>14488073

Am I the only one who thinks that having a Kitsune in our party (of course, not in the lol kawaii vein) but a nature's spirit trying to work with mortals against its own ancestral rules to be a good concept for a PC?

I find religion and mysticism to be really engaging and powerful storytelling devices, the japanese folklore's pretty interesting (not as much as hindi and judeo-christian mythology) but I can't just throw them out because of the weaboo stereotypes.

Also, look at that fox...shit's crazy.

>>14488144
You. I would allow do it so long, as it isn't weaboo bullshit. However this girl was clearly throwing up weaboo kawaii flags all over the place.

>>14488132
Ensure.

>>14488144
whyamisolumpy.png

>>14488166
Whoops. Insurance commercial at the time of posting.

>>14488073

After about 3 minutes of Hot Topic girl whining, her boyfriend jumps in. Que 15 minutes of them trying to tag-team me into letting her play a Free Spirit, despite this race being incredibly broken. Through the entire discussion, I was diplomatic. I kept offering suggestions to re-work the character concept. Hot Topic girl was having none of it.

It took our group's Rigger, a long time friend of mine and Ex-Marine telling them to shut the fuck up to get them off my case. Finally Hot Topic girl agrees to use one of my suggestions.

We end up with this delightful character.

Rumiko: a changeling mage from Japan. Rumiko awakened at an early age and was raised in the Shinto tradition. However, one night a terrible demon attacked her shrine. Rumiko tried to fight the creature, but her magic was too weak. In desperation she reached out to the ancient Kitsune spirit of the shrine, whos energy filled her. When she awoke, Rumiko found she had fox ears and a tail."

That's it. That is a highly condensed version of, horribly written, cliche-laden, three page back story she handed in. No motivation to oppose the Megacorps, no rationale for moving to Seattle, nothing. To give you an idea of how bad this shit was, she mentions Rumiko being neglected by her parents and raped by her cousin. Then, three paragraphs later, mentions losing her virginity.

And she got upset when I only gave 1 bonus Karma for it. I was being generous.

(was there drama? Holy fuck was there drama! Stay tuned)

Kitsune spirit...

>>14488211
Gee, Gamzee really let himself go.

>>14488206
>three page backstory
holee shit. I would've ripped that thing up and told her to write a new one.

>>14488206

This is even worse than I thought it would be (and I was thinking it would be pretty bad). Hold on, I need to get some popcorn.

>>14488206
Wow. I wouldn't allow more than 2 paragraphs describing a character, and it MUST mention their motivations, desires, and reasons for going to the setting.

>>14488206

My god, it's like you took Touhou and put it into a blender with a twelve-year-old's Mary Sue fanfiction. You have every right to rage, OP.

I'm pretty sure this was the girl's face the whole time OP...did you used your GMs power to crush her will or she screwed up everything by herself?

I usually play as a barbarian in our D&D campaigns and though I like to sabotage diplomacy and fuck up everyone's shit I do feel the urge the ask the GM if I'm just making things too much of a headache for him.

>>14488206

I moaned aloud several times on 'awoke with fox ears and tail'. Just.... URRRRRRR

>>14488230
Sounds good. I limit my player's backstory to a wordcount, usually something like 3-4 hundred. If they can't get the point across in that much space, they can probably refine the concept a bit. I'm fine with fleshing a character out, but if more of their development takes place out of game than in, they not much of a character.

>>14488247
There are plenty of girls who really think that shit is the height of literature bro.

God help us all.

>>14488179
Is that really a macro?

>>14488144
Trickster-god type kitsune: gtg
SOKAWI-DESU-MYWAIFU kitsune: burn in hell.

replace "kitsune" with any other furry wish-fulfillment bullshit and the same formula applies.

Legend of the Five Rings game. Concept is PCs are involved in the founding of a Minor Clan (in this case, the Bat). We have characters who are joining the new clan, others who are just here to watch/help out and a shugenja who uses the spirits to help him cook. Hopefully to create a new school from it.

Yep. Magic cooking. Then he dithered about which weapon would be the best one. By "best," I mean, which would do the most damage. He had to be convinced that trying to get a fighter's damage output as a wizard was a bad idea.

Looking back, I can see why that game died so early; too many diverse characters. Most of them were decent though.

>>14488281
"BUT MY DRAGONBORN WEREWOLF WILL FIT PERFECTLY IN THE SETTING!"

>>14488267

There are plenty of dudes too, only it would be they burned down his parents, ate his house, and he became a Street Samurai with his father's Cursed With Awesome katana. There would be 7 paragraphs about that sword.

I've seen it.

>>14488223
I store all the worst character sheets I have GMed in my hall of shame binder. One day I am going to light them all on fire, preform the ritual of underping and offer them up as a sacrifice to the Goddess of Mary Sues. Once she is summoned in her rainbow aura that displays her radiant multi shaded red hair and changing colored eyes, she will go off and find those who follow her ways by making true Mary Sue characters. She will then absorb them into her and take them with her to their alternate dimension that will make a Slanneshi Orgy look like church with the amount of rainbowous furry/sparkly bullshit that ensues. I will then having rid the world of their kind have a nice glass of scotch and smoke a cigar with fire from the ritual.

>>14488267
Sturgeon's Law man.
I won't link to tvtropes, you're going to have to fill in the search bar yourselves.

Damn you OP, next time pre-type your shit. I don't want to sit here for next 2 hours.

>>14488308
I just threw up a little.
Dammit.

>>14488306

You jest, but I had a player say nearly that exact sentence once. He actually wanted to play a stupidly OP dragonborn were-something or other (I forget the details).

>>14488320
Does she have a sword with eight element types?
>sstyn exceeds
indeed captcha, indeed.

>>14488298
Magic cooking is a fantastic thing, and you should feel terrible for saying it sucks.

>>14488206

I do hope OP can give us a little more insight in this amazing and engaging tabletop chronicle; but for now I can only wait.

>>14488326

Try to look at the bright side: you can almost certify is pure, unadulterated OC. And OP keeps posting, so he will surely deliver...right?.

>>14488331
I'd force him to be an elf.
Everyone hates elves in the setting.

>>14488331
>>14488306

Well if you're playing Dungeons: The Dragoning.

>>14488359
Fun times with Dungeons: The Dragoning.

Honestly... I'm the one in our group who comes up with the groan inducing or weeaboo character concepts most often.

Well, apart from my friend who made a half orc who was basically just Mel Gibson on a bad day and an awakened squirrel barbarian.

Honestly, our group tends to put up with weird character concepts that aren't utterly unfitting for the tone of the campaign.

>>14488347
Do this, but let him start off playing his broken ass race/class with a heavy LA, then hit him with a cursed artifact to turn him into an elf. No save, permanent barring an incredibly well worded wish+a disjunction. Keep the LA but alter physical stats to match genericelf for maximumtrollface.

>>14488338

According to my study it is a gun sword. But yes. And they are:
Earth
Air
Fire
Water
Paradox
Chaos
Life
Death
The sword's story is five pages long. I do not wish to publish it because people will die from vomiting a rainbow.

>>14488387
I think you mean a gunkeyblade.

Let's make something of this thread instead of waiting for OP. What, were you born with one hand?

Anyway- dumping my rage folder I guess.

>>14488387
Oh god, post it.
People will die, but the idiocy of it will be glorious.

>>14488387
Please do. I insist.

>>14488400
No that is her second weapon. Which has the powers of the color spectrum from the green lantern corps. I was hoping to avoid posting information on both of these, mainly for the sanity of mere mortals to comprehend.

>>14488405
BRACE FOR GAIA FFRP FURFAGGOTRY!

amazingly enough, one of the BEST backstories/character concepts came from rifts.

the characters parents were a pair of scavengers in russia, while exploring the ruins of a city they fell through the moscow rift and wound up in north america, they wound up in the chi-town burbs and had a child named niko. nikos parents were very busy trying to make ends meet so niko was usually left to his own devices, he hung out with a lot of mechanics and tech scavengers and learned from them...when he grew up he was a pretty good operator, and left home to become a travelling mechanic and repair stuff in the various towns and shitholes across north america

Single most groan inducing character concept I ever did:
Shardborn Monk who basically acted like a traveling sheriff bringing law to the lawless.

The kicker is he was also an innkeeper. His inn was inside of a stage coach sort of wagon with a pocket dimension to hold said inn, pulled by a dire wolf.

I wanted a trade that'd make me money and give me the ability to travel and my DM gave me a bunch of options for random shit I could find in town to finish this plan. This was the best I could come up with.

>>14488376
Pic related for me; Kobold monk... (._.)

>>14488387

"Paradox" sounds like an interesting element to me...just how the fuck a paradox spell can work?

>>14488408
And I was about to /r/st that image! thanks a lot.

All I have is this. It makes me dizzy, I want something that will make my ears bleed.

>>14488306
>"BUT MY DRAGONBORN WEREWOLF WILL FIT PERFECTLY IN THE SETTING!"

Hah! My dragonborn wereweasel tiefling planeswalker gelatinous beast trumps you!

>>14488359
he was half-dragon, half-golem, and half-halforc. His sword was mighty and mystical, like his cock. His cock turned all women beautiful and they thanked him with sex. Even though they could not win his enemies fought him mealy to bask in his awesome and mighty presence. He was Leet Asskicker, the greatest warrior Dungeons: The Dragoning ever produced.

>>14488438
Holy hell. This guy was a man and a half.

>>14488206

Well, it went about as well as you could expect. Hot Topic girl tried to jump in without permission twice. When she finally was included, Rumiko gained an immediate romantic attraction to her boyfriend's character for no logical reason despite having known each other only 5 minutes.

To give you an idea of how much Rumiko clashed with the rest of the party, I'm going to describe them for you.

1. Joyce: A Troll heavy weapons specialist who fancied himself a warrior poet. He would quote grimdark poetry while gunning down mooks with Assault Cannons.

2. Spazz: Our slightly insane female ork gun adept. Kept a running tally of how many people she killed by making scratch marks in the barrel of her Ruger Super Warhawk.

3. Cap'n Crunch: Our human hacker, Addicted to Mythic Age ( the Shadowrun version of WoW) and a total junk food junkie.

4. Jack: the rigger. A dwarf in an A-Team van that was almost completely filled with Drone Racks. He seemed to have a drone for every situation you can immagine, and some you can't. Lives in a junkyard in Snohomish.

5. Kira: the Boyfriend's character. A japanese elf Street Sam. insisted on bioware. To be fair, he was a pretty munchined out character who could quickly turn a mob of gangers or rent-a-cops into a red smoothie inside two combat rounds with his Katanas.

Fortunately, this story has a happy ending.

After about 3 sessions, I was approached by the other players. Turns out, the other players were just as annoyed as I was with out new "addition" and her beau.

>>14488430

This steel, it is untainted by the hands of those that call themselves Stan

>>14488430
I love the copyright at the bottom. Original character, do not steal.

>quoted openting

>>14488422

d'aww

Kobolds are still fine. I am not sure what it will take to spoil them for everyone (what has largely happened with furries and anthro races).

>>14488446
A BERSERKER PACKIN' MAN AN A HALF?!

>>14488451

What role was her character even meant to fill?

>>14488459

I once played a Kobold sorcerer fighting countless hordes of Drow's with the highest spell resistance you can even think of...we died, miserably.

BEST D&D DAY ever...awww, yeah.
good times, good times.

>>14488430

But you can't have pure stainless steel, the fact that it's coated in an oxidation layer is the whole reason why it's stainless ARRRRGH

>>14488073

>Kitsune

I DON'T CARE HOW "KITSUNE" IS PRONOUNCED

(I had to, he played Shadowrun once...)

I figure this is groan inducing as shit so I should ask /tg/ before I do it in my friend's game but is it okay to play a gnoll ranger who acts and speaks like Steve Irwin?

>>14488451
>Kira
>Katanas
Why did you let him get away with this?

>>14488498
Sure, just make sure his int and wis arent in the toilet or the DM might kill you with a stingray.

>>14488451
>Cap'n Crunch.
....
Has this player ever done Dark Heresy?
I swear I read about a group lead by a minndwiped... guardswoman I think, that included a tekpriest by that same name.....

>>14488498

No, you should play as a kobold that speaks and has the voice of Sean Connery.

>>14488498

Can he also play the didgeridoo or some instrument?

>>14488460
Doubt leads to heresy.
Therefore, it IS heresy.

>>14488405
>>14488408
But, I don't have a scanner. And putting it on here, would...
Ugh. /tg/ asks. So I must deliver. That being said, I FUCKING WARNED YOU FA/TG/UYS!

I guess it is typing time. Time for dumping my hall of shame.

She wields the Shining true blade of the most high ascending heavens (this is actually in Japanese) The Sheath of the blade is made out a rare Shibuci Adamantium Combination that forms a rainbow-like patina up to the hilt. Anyone who gazes upon the sheath of the blade must make a will check to not become enthralled by the bearer of the blade. The Sheath carries the name Puriest holder of the most high blade. Uttering this name of the blade calls upon it's true form which is an ancient prismatic dragon that answers only to the true wielder of the blade. This ability can be used at will three times daily as three is the holy and most awesome number. As long as the True bearer of the sword remains true to the purpose of the sword the sheath of the sword gives the bearer of the sword true immortality. This cannot be reversed in anyway shape or form. It also allows the bearer to charm will as an ability at will, because of the charisma granted by the sheath. For every living being slain by the sword, their soul goes to the sheath to empower the blade as it is sheathed. This ability is passive.
If /tg/ wants the rest after seeing this, I shall post it.

>>14488430
how do you grip that thing? It has a more sadistic design than that blade boomerang from Krull. Thank god for 'lol magic' or your nickname would be "Thumbs".

>>14488492
can't you read? Its Pure Stainless Steel Gold! Pure Stainless Steel Gold is obviously his patented, copyrighted, and trademarked personal alloy, duh.
>do not steal.

>>14488451

I thought you were gonna describe some shenanigans. It that it? Next post will be about resolution of situation? I am disappoint.

>>14488459
And what happened to weebos and kitsune.
If you want to roll with a japanese mythology inspired character try tengu. Probably only portion of weebos even knows about this race (unless it was featured in Naruto, then fuck everything I said)

>>14488298
>> Then he dithered about which weapon would be the best one. By "best," I mean, which would do the most damage. He had to be convinced that trying to get a fighter's damage output as a wizard was a bad idea.

To be fair, it's not as important in l5r to segregate the roles like that. If you want to be good with a weapon or three as a fire shugenja, for example, you might as well do it because you'll have fuck high agility. You still won't match anyone who has decent bushi techniques, nor will you be awesome at taking a hit ... and you probably won't have any armour.

/agree on the game dying and the wasted potential forming a minor clan had, though.

>>14488459

Pun-Pun.

Kobolds are forever dead to me after Pun-pun, but they died the most awesome death imaginable.

>>14488512
I like this idea too. What class would Sean Connery kobold be? I might as well have a backup incase I kick the bucket

>>14488206
>Character raped by cousin but she didn't lose virginity until later
MI CARA CUANDO

WHAT THE FLYING FUCK. HOW IS THIS PERSON STILL ALIVE.

>>14488523

>>14488451
Joyce should have been named Ghost Dog.

As for the weeaboo thing, I'm a weeaboo and even I try to fit my characters into the setting.

My general perception of campaigns I'm in just naturally gravitates towards light anime style because I've simply watched way too much. Granted, it errs on the grittier, more realistic kind rather than moe, but there's room for everything. But I really don't feel like forcing that sort of atmosphere on the other players, so I don't really describe anything about my character in a way that is explicitly anime, even if I draw inspiration from it as often as I do books or Western shows.

>>14488523
Keep posting.

>>14488261

I grunted too man, it's hard to hear the phrase "fox ears and tail" without some sort of physical response

>>14488528

that's too much awesome on just one pic...
I don't think my eyes can take it anymore

>>14488528
Theres was some tengu imagery attached to Sauske and the Uchihas early on in the Naruto manga, and much fan-wankery insued. But its since been dropped.

>>14488528
There are tengu in touhou, but I'm not sure if that counts.

>>14488544
Must have been buttraped.

>>14488523
Yes more, more! I want to be drunk on this madness.

>>14488465
Given his mixed lineage I think it would be more accurate to call him a person-and-a-half.
A BERSERKER PACKIN' PERSON AND A HALF

>>14488523
The only weapon suitable for Pun-Pun.

>>14488528
If they know Touhou, they know Tengu too.

Tengu are apparently sassy journalists with nice tits and tiny wings.

>>14488430

So I looked up the name of the sword and found this ridiculous bullshit:

http://sapphirusofdivinity.webs.com/

>>14488523
Wow.
I would've punched her in the face for trying to force her own rules on the game on top of everything else.
Well okay, not punched, but this would've been an insta kick from the group right there.

>>14488562
why?
why?
why, did you come up with a logical explanation for that character?

>>14488569

But Pun-Pun has all those abillities anyway.

>>14488451
Anyway, with a little co-operation from the other players, I came up with an evil plan to rid ourselves of the irritating duo of Kira and Rumiko once and for all.

**Que. Maniacal cackling and thunderclaps.**

For their last run, the players were contacted by an NPC, an old nemesis of theirs named Mr. K. Mr. K was a blood mage from the PCC who used to work for Aztecnology. The PCs had extracted him from Aztechnology in the past, and he thanked them by stabbing them all in the back.

The party had run into him several times in the past, and he had always managed to escape after royally screwing them over.

However, this time Mr. K seemed apologetic, remorseful even. He claimed that his estranged daughter had been kidnapped by an un-named third party who demanded that he recover some items for the Aztechnology compound in Seattle in one week, or she would be killed.

Amazingly, his story appeared to check out.

It was a set up, of course. Aztecnology security was on them the whole time, and closed the noose as soon as they entered the main compound. The party found themselves ambushed by something like 4 squads of cybered up commandos, mages, technomancer sprites and a full conversion cyborg all at the same time.

>>14488523
>Uttering this name of the blade calls upon it's true form which is an ancient prismatic dragon that answers only to the true wielder of the blade. This ability can be used at will three times daily as three is the holy and most awesome number.
I refuse to believe this is real and serious.

>>14488523

SURRENDER THE REST OF THE SWORD.

WE MUST KNOW!

>>14488574
>2006
Presumably someone did the right thing. and old yeller'ed the idiot that made this site.

>>14488562

SUCH FLAWLESS LOGIC

>>14488523

Are we still talking about a Shadowrun game or is from another game of a different poster?

>>14488613

these are other chronicles posted to entertain ourselves while OP delivers his initial story.

>>14488613
different guy posting his "worst off" files.

>>14488583
>>14488451
>>14488206
>>14488073
>>14487824

OP here, this is my Shadowrun game. Don't know about the others.

>>14488546
>>14488552
... We shall go from the sheath, to the handle. THE FUCKING HANDLE!

The Handle of The Blade is Titanium and The Bone of The First Human. Attached to the handle is a Cord, that does not touch the bottom of the handle but wraps around the handle. This Cord is made of silk made out of Rhodium and Virgin Hair. The cord can expand up to 300x the length of the cord at will for free, it can go further at the discretion of the sword's bearer. The Cord is unbreakable as it was made out of sacrifice and pacts with Gods. The handle has only three abilities. One is to drain the intelligence of anyone who it is aimed at or who is hit on the head with it. The second is to store any spells known by those who are hit in this way. The third is to cast any spells stored this way and may additionally be cast without any components. Any number of spells may be sword this way. The Handle has a hypnotic pattern on it and if anyone stares at it directly they must make a will save not to be enthralled by the pattern. If they are enthralled by the pattern they will immediately kneel on the ground...
Next is the god damned blade guard...

>>14488562
I lol'd

>>14488578
It's fiction; you can make an explanation for even the most retarded shit.

Can you make a BELIEVABLE one? That's the real question. Or in the case of these two players, do you even really try?

>>14488298
For what it's worth, I kinda wish I'd just made a Togashi with a bokken instead of pushing for a one armed Mirumoto with tattoos.

It was clear enough the GM was thinking, "One armed Mirumoto? You must take the two weapon fighting technique!"

>>14488625
Continue OP >>14488633 here. Your stories amuse me greatly. I will continue to post my worst of while you post the Shadow Run Kitsune person..

>>14488633

HAHAHAHAH ONLY THREE ABILITIES? That makes it legit right?

My girlfriend and I played a pair of Kitsune in a Feng Shui game once. We played up the hedonistic aspect of Kitsune and the pair were always looking for the next entertaining experience. She was an illusionist, I was a katana/wakizashi wielder.

It was actually great fun, the game was a spur of the moment thing and everyone genned up in about 10 minutes. I can't remember exactly what happened but many mooks were slain that day.

They weren't kawaii though, they rented hookers, drank to excess and killed people for fun.

>Any number of spells may be sword this way.

>>14488523
>>14488633
I don't get it, how does SOMEBODY PUT THIS MUCH TERRIBLE TIME INTO A FUCKING SWORD?

>>14488574
My... brain...

>>14488633
>This Cord is made of silk made out of Rhodium and Virgin Hair.
>This Cord is made of [natural substance] made out of [material] and [material]
>[natural substance] made out of [material] and [material]
Are you a wizard?.jpg.avi

> the handle has only three abilities. One is to drain the intelligence of anyone who it is aimed at or who is hit on the head with it. The second is to store any spells known by those who are hit in this way. The third is to cast any spells stored this way and may additionally be cast without any components.
> only has three abilities
> three game-breaking abilities

God. Grind. Me. Down.

>>14488650
>drank to excess

For some reason I first read this as "Drank Sex"

>>14488650
>They weren't kawaii though, they rented hookers, drank to excess and killed people for fun.
Did your character eat the livers of those they killed?
This is important.

>>14488659

My question is to how nobody pulled him aside. "Dude, you know everyone thinks the sword your making is broken and terrible right? If you stop working on it now and never speak of it again we'll only beat you a little.

>>14488523
>>14488633

you know this is my first time visiting /tg/ and even this seems a little overpowered to me

also she watches too much bleach, that's where the "calling true name of the sword" comes from

>>14488659
There is more, and another weapon which is a gunblade that shoots emotions.

>>14488673
Wasn't that something only the Korean kitsune version did?

Well, my group plays almost exclusively Dark Heresy, so there's a convenient limit on how weird a character can get before he gets shot in his stupid kawaii face.

However, one of my players insists on all of his characters being a tad sexualized. This resulted in the following:
-Psyker who insisted on pretending to be a normal person, except his idea of normal is trying to sleep with everything, captured by cult and turned into a Slaaneshi daemonhost
-Cleric, who tried to sleep with everything, and spent as much time as possible touching the Tech Priest, who he thought was a guy, but was actually an underage girl
-Tech Priest (current), female, attempting to make a sexy robot body
Good times.

Dare I ask what system the "Shining true blade of the most high ascending heavens (this is actually in Japanese)" is for?

>>14488523
>>14488633
I'm assuming you didn't allow said weapon in game correct?

>>14488676
>A little overpowered to me
>A little overpowered
>A little
Bro, this is the most broken thing barring playing Pun-Pun himself. Oh, and welcome to the board, new fa/tg/uy. Sorry this had to be the first thread you saw.

>>14488685
Shooting emotions?
WHY.jpg
And nobody tore up the piece of paper the instant they saw it why again? People need to know that you can have creativity, and then there is shit.
Fuck, sixteen-legged aliens that are essentially hyper-intelligent spiders that can only see heat, and thus communicate through rushing heat to parts of their bodies is less stupid then this shit.

>>14488676
>>14488676
yeah thats what its screaming to me as well.....honestly worst-of-GM you NEED to punch this person or just break their fingers to STOP THEM WRITING

>>14488320
You should scan these and post.

>>14488673

That wasn't explored in the game and there wasn't a huge amount of backstory to go with it as it was a spur of the moment thing.

I'd be willing to bet they'd tried it once at least, whether they liked it or not, I'm not sure.

Oh, they also looked like Japanese humans. The only thing we did to hint at the foxy nature was make their hair red with white tips.

>>14488619

Okay good. I was beginning to wonder how the hell Bleach got in Shadowrun.

>>14488702
That....actually sounds kind of cool. Physically impossible, but cool.

>>14488659
You shut your mouth, that sword is *amazing*. I wish I came up with it. Maybe I'll steal it for the next L5R game I play!

>>14488641
Yeah, maybe a Tortoise courtier wasn't the best choice either. But dammit if I didn't love him.

>>14488574
What. Why.

Some of these people don't even draw too badly, at least by unpaid internet drawfag standards. Certainly better than anything I could do. And they use their skills to draw this.

>>14488633
>The cord can expand up to 300x the length of the cord at will for free

Infinity+1 cord.

Why didn't they just make a stick that "does everything, whenever i want it to". Why waste time on this bullshit?

>>14488723
Okay you have me there, they WERE pretty cool. Although they were a BITCH to kill.
Fucking things just wouldn't die. You wanna shoot 'em? NOPE. Energy shields. You wanna stab em? NOPE. Body armor.

That and they had the power of SCIENCE!

>>14488641

I've always thought a one armed/one handed Mirumoto would be cool. I figured they'd probably study iaijutsu, more ala Mirumoto Swordmaster. Or just path out of the two weapon techniques.

>>14488732
because it wouldn't be KAWAII

That shooting emotions thing sounds like a badass item for a BBEG to have. He's so dedicated to his goal (whatever that is) that he crafted a gun that rips out and condenses his own emotions, using them as retarded powerful bullets that explode and fuck up heroes. The gun slowly turns him into an emotionless husk, and he has to ration its use because if he uses it too much he'll eventually run out of the ability to feel. And then he's fucked, because he's out of ammo.

After every fight he survives with the PCs you could make him a little less animated, until at the big finale he's just an automaton... a shade of what he was when they first found him.

>>14488754
So Dresden Files magic?

today when I go to bed I will try to let my mind go and revert to uncritical mindset of a child, taking and imaginary power trip.

Guys, we all USED to be just like that. It's just that some people do not evolve critical thinking facilities when they age. Wasn't it fun? Thinking of most ludicrous characters/weapons etc. without any subterfuge or attempt at modesty?

At 14 I believe I had character that got turned into wolf (not were, just wolf) and managed to return to his human form via power of meditation.

Later he obtained a sword alloyed with crossbow bolt tip, which has been shot into dragon's heart by his father. The dragon didn't die and so the steel projectile was lodged into dragon's heart for long years, until my character organised epic quest to kill the dragon and retrieve the relict.
Sword had a power to cleave everything without touching it, but it had to skim object's surface with extreme precision, so only master swordsman could use its potential.

Looking back- it wasn't THAT bad character.

>>14488654
>>14488649
elegan/tg/entlemen... it gets sooo much worse, we now go to the last stop before the blade itself the /gun portion of the sword. The Gun Portion is named Divine God Slayer. The Gun is made out of enchanted Unforged Darksteel. The Gun has a range of 1000 meters with the scope. The Scope allows you to see through walls and objects not made of metal. The Scope's name is Seer Beyond Sight. The Magazine of the gun works like a bag of holding and may hold up to 20 tons of ammo. There are three types of ammo that are used by the sword are Fist of the Truth: which has +20 to hit for every enemy targeted by the gun in combat for the instance of combat. Fist of Light 30d6 for every enemy targeted by the gun in that instance of combat. Whirlwind rounds allow for the round to be empowered by the sword or a spell contained in the handle. The Gun is automatic and may shoot 1d6 bullets per round of combat. There is a 1% chance the gun will jam and it takes a half action to fix the jammed gun.

Worst L5R concept I ever ran into was a friend of mine in high school who insisted on being a gaijin. With a gun.

Unfortunately I was the GM, I didn't have a lot of players and wasn't old enough to know any better. I thought, hey, I want to do a campaign near the Shadowlands, we'll just have the Crab hold a twenty goblin winter and I'll explain to him that if he ever, ever lets anyone see him using a gun he'll be summarily executed.

Long story short, it was only a couple of sessions before he was summarily executed.

>>14488659
>I don't get it, how does SOMEBODY PUT THIS MUCH TERRIBLE TIME INTO A FUCKING SWORD?
I once spent nearly two years and tens of thousands of GP on a sword I envisioned after spent four days under the effects of the holy hallucinogenic of my people.

When I had completed it, it was a mighty and beauteous thing, +1 (+2 against the wicked) and would slow someone struck by it for 1d4 turns once a day.

Basically what I mean to say is, "fuck this girl's sword."

>>14488754

Point of View Gun, hitchhikers guide to the galaxy

>>14488780

which one in the original trilogy?

>>14488764
That's the thing. It isn't too hard to think of something over-the-top and awesome. Anyone can do it. Oddly enough, the most interesting characters are the most well-grounded and plausible of characters.
However, playing a game where everyone is so over-powered that over-poweredness is the norm is pretty fun.

>>14488779
+1 sword takes 2 years and thousands of gold?

>>14488789
So.. Exalted?

>>14488767
let me guess, her introduction was "you find a woman, naked, bound and gagged in the forest, the bandit leader holding a knife to her throat".."okay, roll to see if you escape." "you attept to wriggle out of the mans grasp, but he slits your throat., oops, guess you have to reroll now."

>>14488731
its not that good, i did stuff like that in middle school. this "style" is just about adding details on top of details. i did it because i would doodle in class, add a spike here, a piece of cloth there, six hours later you have a monstrosity like that. theres no direction or artistry and it all just winds up looking like a jumbled mess.

I'll just leave this here.

>>14488754
I have a Mutants and Masterminds character who does that... sort of.

>>14488764
>Guys, we all USED to be just like that. It's just that some people do not evolve critical thinking facilities when they age. Wasn't it fun? Thinking of most ludicrous characters/weapons etc. without any subterfuge or attempt at modesty?
Touché. I once picked up a twisted stick and made a drawing showing how it was in fact the ultimate gun, with buttons to make it shoot blades and lava and nets and spikes and and and

(No, I had not watched The 5th element at the time.)

But that was when I was 10.

>>14488583

Shit hits the fan in a big way. The players are soon pinned down by a withering hail of machine gun bullets while Blood Spirits move to flank them. Kira has the bright idea of trying to charge the nearest commando squad and gets knocked into negative Phystical almost immediately by rolling THREE critical glitches (honestly, I think these two somehow managed to annoy even THE DICE at this point.) breaking his back. Other players encourage the kitsune girl to go try and rescue her boyfriend. As soon as she moves, they take off in the other direction with Jack sacrificing most of his drones to create a distraction for them, and Cap'n crunch crashing the building's security systems, all of them.

Rumiko gets wounded and is soon subdued by the commandos. Then Mr. K strolls out into the atrium. Shoots Kira in the head in front of Rumiko then jams his gun barrel under her chin and says. "Take this one to the magic research labs."

Then he pistol whips the little kitsune bitch into unconsciousness.

>>14488698

thanks for the welcome

anyway guys before I even start looking at rules, I was trying to think of a weapon I'd like to make and here's what I come up with so far.

A Katana that is pretty ordinary except for the fact that the blade is HOLY FUCK WHITISH BLUE DIVINE LIGHT

the catch:

It can't cut anything.

what it does instead is pass through enemies and when it does, it steals some of said enemy's spiritual energy, or chi or whatever you want to call it and provides part of this energy to me so that I can channel spells through it.

lvling up may provide small buffs or bonuses on the enemies I use it on and maybe finally learning a spell that uses the iron, copper and all that provided by my blood into making a metallic edge for it, so it would deal damage as I steal energy from enemies for a constant drain on health as long as the spell is maintained.

opinions please, remember I'm new to this seen, so don'tjust range explain why it's inappropriate

>>14488768
Doing it right.

Except for your other players, walking around with a gaijin. With a gun.

Heh, that sword vaguely reminds me of the sword my Rogue Trader Archmilitant is carrying.

Ame-no-Ohabari: Blessed Lathe Longsabre with Tox Dispensors. Counts as both her Psy Focus and Her Charm.

Said to be a gift from the Kami to her ealierst forefather this blade does not quite look human made, with a small rune at the base of the blade.

Though, the character is basicly a not-samurai from not-space japan. She's also an Eldaraboo faggot. Fortunetly the other players have yet to realise that 'Kami' refers to Eldar, not Space Marines.

>>14488689 -Tech Priest (current), female, attempting to make a sexy robot body

I feel this has been done before, but one of the guys I play with made a Techpriest who has a detachable penis (which also counts as a power weapon), and who is already very much a Slaaneshi heretic.

He and the rest of the group are okay with the direction his character is going. Besides, some of the crew already run errands for a heretek.

>>14488830

By this point, Hot Topic girl is practically shaking with rage and storms out to have a cigarette. Her boyfriend starts yelling at me and calling me an asshole. We try to calm him down, to no avail. Then he literally FLIPS the table over in a rage sending character sheets, miniatures (some lovingly painted and converted) and books flying everywhere, clonking our hacker in the face.

Rigger's not having any of this so he get's right up in boyfriend's face. Now the Rigger is a Marine and has a good foot of height on the guy (boyfriend is kind of a scrawny pasty dude). Boyfriend backs off immediately, and starts blabbering and almost crying. Trying to defend and rationalize everything so we're the bad guys. I just point at my door and say. "You're gone in five seconds or I call the cops."

Loverboy looks right at me, his face turns beet red and he just bolts.

After cleaning up the mess, we decide to call it a night. Rigger get's free pizza for a month in appreciation.

We haven't seen them since and the group is much happier for it.

>>14488806
:'D

That made my day.

>>14488833
>not sure if trying to troll

>>14488768
Twenty goblin winter? Not familiar with that term.

>>14488498
We had a Steve Irwin-like character in our game, and it was the greatest thing ever. Too bad the player got bored of him after just a couple sessions... he was tons of fun.

>>14488833
Play 3.5, roll Spelltheif. No special sword needed.

>>14488779

Heeey. Thats my dwarf sprite. I didn't know people were using my homestuck dnd sprites.

>>14488862

If spellthief was any good.

>>14488849
Good end.

>>14488830

CREATE A CLONE ARMY OF HER!!
HaHaHa!!!

MFW she gets cloned and her character stops being unique and original. WORST PUNISHMENT IMAGINABLE!

>>14488853
Crab clan will allow anyone who lives to join their clan.

>>14488767
the solution to this is to take the very detailed god sword.... and give it to the characters nemesis. Their nemesis wont fuck with the rest of the party, and they can't reroll until they beat their nemesis in a duel fair and square.

Maybe then they will learn the meaning of "balance"

>>14488849
A shame it ended so prematurely. What did you plan to have done with Hot Topic girl's character?

>>14488842

>Japanese Eldaraboo Arch Militant.

...I'm tempted to steal that idea for a character...

>>14488849

>>14488784
Only in the movie. Not as funny as it could have been, like most things in the movie.

>>14488795
>+1 sword takes 2 years and thousands of gold?
I'm just a dentist alright, I don't normally deal this magic shit.

>>14488890
see
>>14488877

>>14488847
I made a techpreist covered in prehensile tentacles.

they were mostly used for scaring primitive villagers.

>>14488853
>>14488869
sigh and off to memorise lots of things we go

>>14488411
challenge accepted

>>14488849
>>14488830

>>14488867
>Heeey. Thats my dwarf sprite. I didn't know people were using my homestuck dnd sprites.
They are cool beans.

>>14488849

DAMN IT I NEED THAT SLOWCLAP .GIF RIGHT NAW!

>>14488928
Including how to type, I hope.

>>14488880
Interesting.

"Gaijin with a gun and on the Wall" could be an interesting character if done right. Probably only right around when first contact was made, before things went to shit. It'd still end horribly for the gaijin in the end though.

Just not by the Crab's hands. Maybe.

oh I let her play the sword, you all will see why...

>>14488767
>>14488804
And Finally, the rest of the god damned awful Sue God Sword. The Blade (which the name is uttered here..>>14488523) Is only chosen by the first born of the tenth born of a first born from the old noble line of the Shibugo house. The blade is made out of infused starmetal adamantium alloy that harness the power of light itself and get's +1 for every hour of the day that it is exposed to light. It is infused with the eight true elements the symbols of the Shibugo house, which are;Earth, Air, Fire, Water, Paradox, Chaos, Life and Death. Each of the elements may fire an elemental burst of the type chosen at 8D6 D6 (thats x D6 where X is the number of Dice determined by the 3D6 Rolled...) at will three times per elemental type per day. In addition the Sword may once per day transport up to 3d6 targets to Elemental realm of (Fire Water Air Fire.) This may be done as a free action and is done without error. In Addition the Blade may Cast the other elemental abilities once per day. For the Element of Chaos has the effect of firing a swarm of 1d6 Hellballs at random once per day. The time is determined by the DM and the target is selected by the DM, the player may roll to control this on a DC10 Charisma based. The Power of Paradox, which reflects the attack of the target back upon the caster once per day, this may be activated by the DM if the Sword bearer fails her daily control check DC10 Charisma based. Life which may bring one dead ally back to life once per day. And Death, which may kill target enemy once per day if the fail a DC 30 Will save. More on the blade and what happened...

Hey, fuck you, OP.
Why do you hate Horo?

>>14488952

Orlandu delivers, albeit under a different name. Gleaned it from /v/.

>>14488952

>>14488958
I just realised everybody uses punctuation in here.

you're sure not making this easy /tg/

>>14488978
Sucks to be you, newfag.

>>14488966
>8D6 D6 (thats x D6 where X is the number of Dice determined by the 3D6 Rolled...)

This is where my brain must've broke. I have no idea what this means.

>>14488978
This is /tg/: we do things because it's fun, not because it's easy.

>>14488853
The Crab are pretty much a thin blue line between Rokugan and a festering hole into hell that taints everything it can. (otherwise known as The Shadowlands)
20 Goblin Winter is when they acknowledge that they're taking way too many losses and let anyone who can go on the wrong side of the wall and kill 20 goblins can be a Crab samurai, no questions asked.

>> Worst L5R concept I ever ran into was a friend of mine in high school who insisted on being a gaijin. With a gun.

Funnily enough, the gun is not that bad a concept compared to being an obvious outsider ... if they can avoid getting fingered with gunpowder / a gun by someone who knows what a gun is. Everyone will know what a gaijin is, by knowing what Rokugani people are not.

>>14489003
Has anyone really been far as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

>>14489003
You roll 8D6. You then take the result and roll that many D6. The result of THAT roll is the amount of damage dealt.

>>14489003

You roll anywhere from 8 to 48 D6 dice.

I would have told the person 'Yeah, we'll include it. Everyone give me your character sheets, this guy's the BBGG.'

>>14489030
I just realized it says 8D6 then 3D6. If I understand it right that's just a typo.

>>14488966

The blade might as well be called a Zanpakuto. And instead of uttering the name of the blade, the player should shout 'Bankai!'

>>14489034
and you get to use it 3 times per element per day, thats only 24 daily uses of 8 to 48 D6 damage.

How will she ever survive with such a limited arsenal?

>>14489061
>>14489047
only 3 to 18 D6 damage, thats much better.

I was going to post the most Groan-inducing characters had created.

But then /tg/ opened my eyes. You guys have the most groan inducing players.

>>14488971
In fairness, Horo is a WOLF spirit, not a fox spirit.

>>14489074
That's assuming the typo was the 8. You're going to give the benefit of the doubt to the blade that can True Resurection 1/day?

>>14489083
you need to find a THAT GUY thread. if you've been gaming for a while, its impossible to tell the difference between the made up ones and the real ones. The hobby just attracts personality types that give a huge Poe threshold.

>>14489003
Basically the theory was to roll the amount of D6 rolled to determine the amount of D6 Rolled. Or so it was explained. Anyways more of The Sue God Sword.

The sword's blade itself is diamond hard and cannot be scratched. It is extremely sharp and it combat it is treated as a +5 Masterwork Bastard Sword. It also is incredibly light and is for weight purposes treated as a tiny weapon due to its enchantment. Due to the sheer presence of the weapon it is treated as a Large weapon for Damage.

I did not post all the colorful fluff details for this weapon for /tg/'s collective sanity and seeing this go on suptg or 1d4 cha or some shit. Seriously, people do not need this replicated, unless you consider what was posted earlier. Which was the DM being able to shoot a fuck ton of hellballs from it at "LOL SO RANDUMB" once per day. The Sheath which granted immortality, while made out of some hardcore shit, was not indestructible. So, the idea was simple. Let her play a little bit get her character drugged, and thus destroy her when her CHA was really fucking low by destroying her and the sheath. Additionally the sword itself, was not indestructible. I don't know if this was a piss poor attempt at balance or what, but Basically, I could destroy her and her character in the first session. I just had to set up the encounter right..

>>14489095
you know whats really great, some person thought this out. I mean they conciously choose to include every aspect of this sword in its description. What ideas did they throw away? Simply holding the damn thing gives you immortality and a dragon and a BFG and all kinds of other shit, did they think "oh, maybe it should summon a bunch of undead soldiers too, nah, thats ridiculous." Some kind of thought process went into this, I just want to peek into the madness a bit.

>>14489123
That feels like descending to her level. I'd do the mature thing and just tell her that I don't want her in my group.

>>14489123

Post all of it, damn it. I want to bleed from my eyes.

>>14488754
stolen for my Bard campaign

One of the worst concepts for a character for my group came from a Mage the Ascension game.

The character was an inventor of a card game and holographic projector models. He used a duel disk and deck for his foci to summon up spirits that looked like his cards for all of his magic effects. So basically he was one of the guys from Yugioh.

>>14488657

The sheer amount of heresy is actually making me ill.

I am dead serious.

>>14489182
In a non-serious game that character would be *awesome*.

>>14489182

So he summons shit to rock the bad guy's world. It sounds cool.

In theory.

>>14489014
It'd actually be sort of fun to play a gaijin firebug, if you played up the fact that your talent with explosives can't be discovered. Tossing simple bombs (read: bags of gunpowder) around when people's backs are turned, yelling "Look out, they know fire magic!" and shrugging expressively when asked why the enemy leader seems to have been killed by an enemy fire spell after the enemy magician was already dead.

Okay, it wouldn't work for a completely serious game, but you could do worse than to inject a couple lulz into that setting.

>>14489182
Fucking Kaibacorp.

>>14489238

SCREW THE RULES, I HAVE MONEY

>>14487824
>Ghost in the Shell
I love Ghost in the Shell and it's pretty much the only anime I can stand, but... grimdark? Doesn't feel grimdark to me.

>>14489227
nononono

no

It's:

>So he summons shit to rock the bad guy's world. It sounds cool.

>In america.

>>14488806
This made me lol.

>>14489234
Hell, works great for a Scorpion too.

"No sir, I have no idea why that Kakita duelist self-immolated the night before his duel. Must have been angry spirits."

>>14488849
Faith in humanity restored.

>>14489146
I honestly don't think there was anything they came up with that was discovered by an intelligent thought process and rejected.

>>14489168
I felt she needed to be taught a lesson. Mainly because I told her I didn't want a Mary Sue and she made one anyways. This one was the third revamp.
>>14489095
Yeah it was 8. so it was anywhere from 6-48 d6.

Anyways we will just call the Sue god Sue. I decide to do for the meeting place a bar. A simple bar nothing else. A man comes in looks at Sue. The man grins a Coyote Grin. Walks over to the bartender. The bartender bemused laughs and begins to poor. The man then sounds in a high pitched voice "DRINKS ARE ON ME TONIGHT!" And the bartender keeps feeding people drinks. Including Sue. Who thinking it is cute is failing some of her drinking tests. However the more she drinks the more isolated she becomes at the bar. After a long time of a portion of the party (which was pissed at me for including Sue in the first place.) Arrives at the bar and looks at Sue weird. I then ask Sue to roll a will check. She fails, and feels compelled to look at the bulliten board across the street. The board shows a reward of of 5,000,000 gold for slaying a coyote which has been spotted in the countryside. She then runs out madly into the country for "easy money." The mysterious stranger chuckles.

Obligatory.

Also obligatory.

>>14489329
Awwwww yeah, North American Animalism gonna fuck up some pussy Shinto.

>>14489398

Part 2.

>>14489227

I suppose my main problem with the character was that he had no real defined paradigm and always argued that his shit was coincidental because of the holo tech he already has introduced to the sleeper world.

>>14489404
Hey, man. Don't be hatin' on Shinto. It's plenty cool.

Be hatin' on the wapanese who give it a bad name.

>>14489411

The story of /tg/'s quantum sue, fully posted. Sort of.

In all honesty, I think that the shiny sword thing posted earlier is even more sue-ish than our abomination.

And we were intentionally trying to make this a super-sue.

>>14489424
Irrelevant.

NA Animalism > Shintoism

>>14489428
>>14489411
>>14489398

Oh, and the picture drawn by the kind drawfag. Probably drove the poor bastard insane, making her.

>>14489428
When I want to make a mary sue I just go to /v/, start a "sci-fi video game soldier vs sci-fi video game soldier" thread and wait for the 40kids to pop up.

Then I drag them into an argument about 40k vs other settings for a hundred posts or so, collect all the 40k wank material they posted, and BAM, got a good mary sue right there.

>>14488849
This is why /tg/ is awesome

>>14489428
I will forever be proud/ashamed that my contribution is the final beat of Raven's bio. That was such a fun thread.

>>14489453
Fancy a troll who actually goes out of his way to expend effort to be lazy.

One time, i had to take over a half dragon Half orc that was ostrasised (Her spelling, several times), raped, beaten by his (Human, non orc) mom, raped by his best friend, bisexual with a girlfriend who was killed by her mom (Again, her mom is the most evil person in her life). Oh, and being a monk? Yeah, she sucked DM cock to wear light armor (Called Ninja armor on her sheet) and using KATANAS AS MONK WEAPONS ( luckly, the DM said they didn't count as anything but nat weapons, so no absurd damage, and made katana's rare as fuck, and made her use non magical ones.) Thoughout the campaign, she had done nothing but try to force anime shit though, or argue things she didn't like (The dm told me she has been DM Rezed three times because of her stupid actions) .

So, in one session, i turned him into a Dire Werebear Half Dragon Half orc who started a monastary of celibate were-creatures and other similarly afflicted with urges, using the martial arts to control their urges and do good in the world.

Basicly, i made him a hairly klingon kamina. Who could turn into a huge bear and fought people off with a huge bench. Why a bench? "I use this bench...because i can't sit on a fucking sword"

The kicker about this whole story is that i made the changes to her char sheet...including gluing a picture of Worf (with a moustash i added in MS Paint) over her hand drawn (Traced) pic of Edward. And erased her discription of his char and replaced it with "Covered from foot to head in a corase, thick, unwashed hair, often dripping with sweat from his constant life of training, the odor permeating any spell (You get the idea).

But that wasn't enough

>>14489329

Should I ever come across a character like this, I know EXACTLY how to deal with them.

I'll bring an old PC of mine out of retirement. He's essentially immune to offensive magic (took yeeeears of playing this same character to gain that, and it restricts me from using so many other useful magic items), so it would end quite hilariously.

Run up to her and start beating her with my fists. Have my mage buddies start casting ridiculously destructive spells in my general vicinity.

Oh, cool. What was once a Mary Sue is now a small pile of ash.

>Alita

Cool setting, terrible protagonist. Still, I'd like to play a game in the Scrapyard

>>14489504

Once you start playing the Mary Sue's game, you've already lost, but I enjoy your enthusiasm.

>joyfulness endayc

I'll say, captcha. I'll say...

>>14489404
You are correct sir.

Sue runs into the plains nearby a town and sees a poorly constructed cardboard black coyote Ask Sue to make a roll save for Cha and tell her about the modifiers for charisma. She fails it. I roll a 6 on a d6. 6 Hellballs later the only thing remaining for plot purposes is the Gun and a fraction of the sword. The player of Sue is crying and screaming why did I do that. I tell her that I did not want Sues, and she needed to really think about a character and come up with something real and she kept making Sues. So I decided I would use her character to introduce the Big Bad. She stopped crying and stormed out. The other players all look at me wide eyed. The players at the bar hear a large boom, then see the mysterious stranger leave snickering saying "Today is my lucky day."

Coyote then walks back to the bar, twirls the gunsword like an old west cowboy and finishes his beer. He then walks off.
>my players faces when they realize coyote is the big bad and has sues weapon

>>14489481
The next thing i did was fix his life. His mother remarried his father, her friend never raped her, that was a false memory implanted by his "loving" girlfriend. His mom killed her because she was actually a perverse lich who loved fucking with people.

Oh, and since she was basicly the girlfriend, that part ticked her off to no end.

I went to the next session, arriving to find a crying girl, two players looking at me like i was the devil (trying to get laid, i'm guessing), and the DM telling me that my changes were not well recieved. So i offer to take over the charater, if she feels playing a charater that actually has a personality beyond being hurt by people.

Then i started to insult her. I won't repeat what i said, but i will say that she tried to slap me and left crying.

One player left after that, so i introduced an ex girlfriend of mine to the group, and she loved DnD, and quickly became friends with everyone.

Overall, i think i did a good thing. Fat girls need to be reminded they are fat, and not to wear fucking corsets. EVER. Especially if they don't even have fucking tits.

>>14488633
>This Cord is made of silk made out of Rhodium and Virgin Hair. The cord can expand up to 300x the length of the cord at will for free, it can go further at the discretion of the sword's bearer.
Man, those spiders would be frreeeeaaaaking out at shoving this out of their anuses.

"OH JESUS MARY AND JOSEPH CHRIST IT JUST KEEPS COMING OH GOD WHYYYYY"

>>14489542

>my players faces when they realize coyote is the big bad and has sues weapon

There are no words to describe your awesomeness.

>>14489542

im afraid to ask, but how old was sue? anything over 12 is sad.

>>14489576
>>Overall, i think i did a good thing. Fat girls need to be reminded they are fat, and not to wear fucking corsets. EVER. Especially if they don't even have fucking tits.

I agreed with you all the way up to here.

That said, thank you for telling her off for having absolutely no character development capabilities.

>>14489576
flat (well round) chested fat girls are just depressing. Big tits are the one slightly good thing a chick is supposed to get out of being fat, and they are denied it.

>>14489014

The real problem with the character (which I should have realized from the concept) was that all the player wanted to do was cause a ruckus in the setting.

>>14489542
Trickster God > Your special snowflake

>>14489640
15. I was doing this only because my old friend asked me to try to let her play. I tried. She eventually rolled something that was not Sueish. Granted it took a team of neckbeards fueled with mountain dew to give her a character she could accept that wasn't a sue.
>>14489631
For once I feel sad for spiders. Seriously, I don't even think the Australian spiders could handle this.

>>14489667
Xom is amused.

This thread, and all you fuckers, reminds me why I game with my firends, and not schmucks invited in off the street.

it also reminds me why I play a sue-free game system, and otherwise it instructs me, repeatedly, on how to learn to say NO to stupid people.

You fuckers.

All you fuckers.

>>14487824
You know OP, your pic and story reminded me of a oddly similar one I had.

The girl wanted to play a wolf demon, so as with you, red flags raised.

But as I'm tired I'll cut this short, she managed to change a epic end of the world scenario to a god damn class of economics. It was fucking glorious, I mean how often do you negotiate with your BBEG, and both of you still get what they want.

Several sessions later and they are god tier merchants, and the BBEG is off destroying some other dimension (Which they bought)

Picture oh so fucking related.

>>14489631
Why do I feel sorry for spiders now? Why? The Sword here makes me feel sorry for spiders. Seriously I think this is why Lolth is angry. The thing said it could expand to 300x the length of the cord. Anon did not say how long the cord was. And Rhodium? Lets look at Rhodium. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhodium. Now imagine that and virgin hair coming out of your ass, about 300 feet of it or so I am assuming.

>>14489542
I am a man who would have attempted to tolerate her much further, but I do have to say, you've just earned a Coyote's Grin for that.

>>14488230

Actually multiple page backstories can be fun. My bro is playing a Magoichi Saika style gunslinger in a Asian themed campaign. His backstory is like 2 or 3 pages. But he did it all as a friendly parody of another player (who frequently makes mary sue's, i've dropped one of his stories here once) and kept it within reason of good writing.

>>14489723
that's not similiar at all.Other than the girl having animal ears.

>>14489836
It was similar at first, ok.

>>14489650
Let me reitterate. She was fat.

Unlike most fat women, she was not blessed with a big rack that looks ok when drunk.

Let's just say, if i got into her eating habits, /fit/ would come over, puke, scream, shit themselves, and run, clawing out their eyes.

I guess I'm lucky. I haven't been playing tabletop for very long, so the only bad characters I've come across weren't really Mary Sues, either just boring, cliched, or poorly thought-out.
Still, some of the horror stories never cease to amaze me. I mean, I can kind of understand a 12 year old making a stupid, ridiculous Mary-Sue, but I mean once you hit a certain age you should really start thinking about things differently. And yet there are folks much older than me doing the same thing. Forever.

oh well, bumping for moar content

>>14487824However, they are into stuff like Naruto.

That's fine, I think it's more attitude of what you like than what it is that matters.

>>14489969
That is the most easily killable mary sue I have ever seen.

>>weak to color
>>shoot him with bullets
>>bullets are brass
>>brass is a color

>>14489986
This.
Someone can like every bad anime in the world, but so long as they keep it separate from the gaming table and don't try to imitate it, I really don't care. Maybe that's just my live-and-let-live attitude, but if someone isn't giving you a reason to dislike them over one of their fandoms, there really isn't a need to.

>>14490011
Hmm, someone should try explaining that to his creator. If you've ever seen her shit on dA it's clear that this particular Mary Sue is her pet project. He has a DEEP AND TROUBLED PAST and shit. Also apparently bullets and knives don't hurt him (but you just found a fatal flaw in her reasoning, dohoho)

Someone Archived this shit.

>>14490011

You wouldn't even have to go that far.

>weak to color

>shine flashlight on him
>light is various spectrums of color woven together

>>14490113
So wouldn't ANY light just be bad news for him?
Like I think the suit is supposed to be protective but that's stupid if you're still completely vulnerable in a vital area.

>>14489439

Want to hear something funny?

North American Animism and Japanese Shintoism are remarkably similar. In fact, this similarity contributes to Shadowrun's success in Japan.

That and only using 6-siders.

>>14490141

Yea, his charater sheet said he was vulnerable to sunlight and color.

So I guess you could splash yellow paint on him and kill him.

>>14489986
I have to agree, I got a player, who LOVES Naruto. And he is hands down the best RP'r I've ever played with.

>>14490171
Oh, you haven't seen the other bullshit the creator has written for him.
He can't truly die because he's immortal and it's a curse instead of a blessing and bawwwwww

I've run a drawing workshop for kids before and lots have desire to make 'marysue' type characters.

Talking with them about what they like and their character's backstories though they figure out that many characters they admire have way less powers and the fun of their journey is often in aquiring all that stuff.

So then immortality curse of heterochondria eye lasers with the dark sword of shadowlight is the end point to aspire towards.

>>14490220
Erm, immortality is a curse, even more so if you don't also have invincibility.

>>14490220

The Nameless One would like to have a word with you.

>>14490293
Only if it is written competently. Which it is not.

>>14490220
>immortal
>Weak to color/sunlight
Is he immune to gravity? Because if not, I've got a good vacation spot for him.

>>14490220
So then how the fuck is color a weakness to an immortal being?

Did he just write himself into an eternal existence of pa- well that was fucking easy to get to the center of his bawfest.

>>14489631
>"OH JESUS MARY AND JOSEPH CHRIST IT JUST KEEPS COMING OH GOD WHYYYYY"
Actually, in this case I think it would just be Mary.

>>14490445
Is this a hint I need to get the little shovels out?

>>14490463
>>14490445
... I don't know what to say here. Other than sad spiders are sad.

all of you play with the wrong people

fat chicks are easily tempted to play sues

but you can get them to play funny characters just as easy, if you are not retarded enough to just let her roll up something you will kill for a lol later.
Example, in my round we have indeed a fat chick. And she is not the smartest, either. At first she wanted to play a drow, a drow assassin of course, to be dark and mysterious.
We all know where this is heading.
Somewhere in between, she even mentioned half-drow.
But. And this is important. But I, the GM, talked with her, and explained why that is a bad idea. Its not a stupid, but a bad.
And guess what guys. SHE UNDERSTOOD.
She then rolled up a gnome bard/favoured soul. No special reason of dark brooding parents or anything behind that. Bard, because she likes gnome bards, and favoured soul, because she wanted to multiclass with cleric, but wanted a bit more freedom, so favoured soul seemed ideal.
Yes the character is not that great from a powerlevel point of view.
But it fucking works!
And she is happy with it! as is everyone else!
Nobody had to be punched in the face. Nobody had to cry and nobody had to rage at the gaming table.
Nobody had to be killed with HURRIMAGMMAGIC just because of stupidity.

know why?
Because Im not a shitty GM. Everyone who lets a sue plant their roots and then gets butthurt about it is a shitty GM.

Haters gonna hate, deniers gonna deny, but the moment you used power word: whatever and let that halfdrow slip, you lost.

It is always your fault as the GM, not the players. They are trying to live in fantasy. You have to level their fantasies so they can share fun.

>>14490521know why?

halfway through your post I read it in Dog Whisperer voice

>>14490322
>>14490293
>>14490220
Never been a fan of the "immortality is a curse" trope. I never bought the idea that someone would be that upset at seeing loved ones die. I had friends in high school who I haven't talked to in years, and the same is true of college, and the last the city I lived in. I'll never see most of them again in my life. But you move on and make new friends, thats life. I don't see how that going on forever could be bad. I don't even really buy the true love excuse, people get over good and bad relationships. I don't see a real person suffering from a marriage that ended 100 years ago.

Its different if your immortality includes aging, and not being able to recover from injuries, or maybe if it requires a significant change in lifestyle such as vampirism. Its one thing to live forever, its another to only do so by regularly killing people. Actually suffering eternally is a curse.

So the mary sue vamp up there actually does have something to worry about.

>>14490533

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT CANNOT UNHEAR

>>14490542
just to clarify I mean that immortality, by itself, is not really a curse. Unless you just want to be prick and let the poor bastard stay alive to the heat death of the universe.

>>14490533
>>14490556
Well, now I know exactly how to treat Mary Sues. Like Caesar Romero treats dogs in The Dog Whisperer.

>>14490533
>>14490556
that makes one cannot unhear and one cannot unread today, it seems Im doing it right

>>14490586
I expect it to be the mary sue reason of cursed immortality: he will forever be young and pretty and invincible and rule his world while people he love (obviously even though he is darkness incarnate there is that one fat nerd 12 year old girl he likes) will age and die eventually, and he cant get up to enjoy the time spend because he needs more time brooding because he is so dark

seriously if I were an immortal ruler of the world, I would go out there and party hard

>>14490638
Would you do awesome things whilst you partied hard? Revolutions to forward human progress and that sweet jump you've always wanted to do and the whole nine yards?

>>14490542

I was playing Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines earlier today, and someone explained it very well. Let me see if I can remember the idea.

Logic comes from Perception. Perception is a result of Time. With enough Time, Perception changes, and so does Logic.

I guess a lot of it has to do with feeling secluded from others, since they die and you do not.

Now, you can be a bitch about it like most people, or you can make lemonade like this motherfucker here.

>>14490602
Always exude dominance! you have to Dominate the player character first, then once he is receptive to your commands, you will enjoy your game together and have a happier and fuller gaming experience.

If he tries to run off of your campaign, pull him back to it. Don't try to catch up to him, you are in charge, and you dictate where and when the party goes.

If he acts out or tries stupid stunts or metagames, you must correct the behavior immediately. Small frequent corrections will establish good behavior in the player. Do not be afraid to issue fiats, you are in control.

>>14490638

I think immortality would suck, personally, just because after awhile I'd get so fucking bored and burnt out from centuries of experience and having to watch everyone you ever loved grow old and die.

Agelessness would've awesome, but not being able to be die EVER? Yeah, no thanks.

>>14490694

As long as suicide is an option, I'm game.

But Jack Harkness style immortality? No thankyou.

That fucker lived into the year 5 billion.

>>14490638
just finished reading the comic Preacher. theres a vampire character named Cassidy. Imagine a heroin addict and alcoholic with strength of 50 men and he can't die except by sunlight, and whenever the junk is too much he rips someones throat out to recover faster.

Lets just say partying hard + no consequences = you become a complete monster.

>>14490656
What?
Hell, no
well, I would do the jump, Im immortal after all, and as ruler of the world they can build the ramp.
But do something to forward human progress?
How stupid do you think I am. Im the ruler of the world, if they make progress, they will want me to step down from there and be voted instead of just be ruler, that would lead to boring voting campaigns and shit.

I let them do their usual shit, and get everything out of beeing the immortal ruler of the world.
Seriously, even if I dont have a dick, waterski, skydiving, motorcross, playing Xbox, PS3 and Wii at once.
Have my friends over, then crash a helicopter into the everest to snowboard my way down.
Then I would start armwrestling, until Im world champ in armwrestling, Im immortal and ageless after all so I can take my time.
Then I learn to skate and make more suicidal stunts than half of americas skating teenagers.
then I would build myself some amusment parks, and of course at least two water parks, then fuse them all into a giant megapark where you can ride a rollercoaster into a swimming pool, from which you can get on a raft ride, which itself leads to a paintball range, while having a paintball minigun installed on the raft to shoot at the guys that try to win a price by overtaking the raft. I could go on what happens next, but not now

people are underestimating the possibilities of beeing forceful world ruler, it seems to me

Terrible characters and the immature GMs who don't know how to handle them.

>>14490694
burned out? dude i could spend a 1000 years just visiting places to eat. never mind all the cool and fantastic stuff you could do, just mundane shit like learning languages and living in new places a decade at a time could be a very good life.

>body completely made from an otherworldian substance, a black liquid that resembles tar. He is the pure essence of shadows
You know, independent of the character it's attached to, this line is kind of neat. I think I'll be taking it and using it sometime in the future. Of course, with a modification or two.

>>14490808
please tell me its the *pure essence of shadows* bit you are changing.
This is drenched with greasy sue, with toppings of mary.
its like: My character doesnt get wet in the rain.
Why?
Because he is an elf rogue
yeah, but why doesnt he get wet
because elf ninja!
wait, wasnt he a rogue-
NINJA!

something like that

>>14490808
you realize that shadows arent made of anything. They are made because something is NOT there, light, since things are blocking the way light would travel, casting shadows where it cant reach directly.

so, you are made of nothing. you dont exist.
That guy is imaginary.
and will never be your waifu

>>14490827
>please tell me its the *pure essence of shadows* bit you are changing.
>This is drenched with greasy sue, with toppings of mary.
I don't think it's inherently mary sue, but yes, that's the main part I'll be changing, mainly for personal preference reasons.

>>14490881
Yes. I know this. The [whatever] I'm making out of that line IS going to be a huge something-shaped absence in reality.

>>14490881
Thats why a being that travels thru shadows is kinda awesome if done well.

Watch the (anime) movie Vampire Hunter D. one of the mercenaries the vampire hires has this ability, and hes fucking scary. Pops up out of shadows on the ground and can kill a person by stabbing their shadow.

>>14490113
Light is good for killing lots of things. Just ask the Imperial Guard.

>>14489576
>>Fat girls shouldn't wear corsets

I'd argue. Theres a right way to wear a corset and a wrong way. If your fat and are attempting to wear a corset with a bunch of clothes you bought at Hot Topic, then that's not going to work. But an outfit involving a corset can look really nice on a bigger girl if it's properly designed.

>>14488833
Yo I didn't read the whole thread yet so maybe you're gone, but:
The major problem is that this is hugely system-dependent. Some systems don't use anything like spiritual energy. In some, it exists but in only a few points that must be rationed. If it would work okay in the system (though I can think of none where this would be the case) I'd let you take that, if you were okay with also limiting your own natural accrual of energy such that you were on par with a normal person (ie, not a magic user) I would allow it.

>>14489003
>newfag
Pots and kettles, kid.

I too had a fatchick dream up a sue with a hilarious weapon, though not as detailed and fantastical as the gunblade doomsword mentioned above. It was simply a shortsword of infinite perfect wishes. It's only stipulation was that it had to be held and unsheathed for it to work.

I allowed it of course. I was going to slap her back with a better sue. I stated up Carmen Sandiego in 3.5.

The sword disappeared in the first session, and no one is quite sure when. It's just the sword wasn't there when the sue grabbed for it. Of course, in Carmen Sandiego tradition, a clue was left behind that pointed them somewhere. In this case it was to Paris France. Unfortunately we were playing in Faerun. It was never seen again and Carmen was surely disappointed that they didn't jump planes to give chase.

Screaming and tears were had as to be expected.