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  • File : 1301637317.jpg-(109 KB, 800x600, catface.jpg)
    109 KB Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)01:55 No.14436929  
    >Run a 3.5 D&D Age of Sail themed game
    >Give players the diary of a pirate captain, a small ship, and an enchanted compass that will lead to a treasure hunt
    >They spend like four sessions robbing merchant vessels, sinking navy ships, hauling cargo, and planning how to build an ironclad dreadnaught powered by scramjets or something
    >mfw there are no rails and the players are still managing to go off them

    "Off the rails" thread?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)01:58 No.14436957
    Scramjets? On a ship? Jesus.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)01:59 No.14436969
    In a setting that is basically 16th-17th century Europe and shit.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)01:59 No.14436970
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    >Running 3.5 D&D Inter-dimensional campaign
    >Set up elaborate night of CSI themed gameplay after the death of a group member
    >They play this world for about 10 minutes, then gate to a different world to loot a pirate ship
    >mfw days of planning went to waste
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)02:00 No.14436975
    A little inversion is always good

    >prepare nothing for session
    >act worried when certain NPCs get shot
    >The players think they are killing off the plot
    >mfw there is no rail, yet the players insist on staying on them
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)02:02 No.14436990
    To be fair, that sort of adventure sounds excruciatingly dull.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)02:03 No.14437000
    >PCs find emerald
    >PCs keep emerald for rest of campaign because "It might unlock a door"
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)02:04 No.14437010
    >Players in town, get information from everyone about a village that got infested with zombie.
    >Obvious plot pointing toward village.
    >On the way to the village.
    >Look at the map.
    >"Is that a Fey village in wood ?"
    >Fuck the zombie. We're going dancing with the fey.
    >One session full of "i roll diplomacy to fuck that fey and fuck she got me with otto dance again !"
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)02:04 No.14437016
    It's odd that in my friends Pathfinder game that was to be the first thing we did when we could get the loot together.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)02:05 No.14437024
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    Same group
    >One PC thinks it's funny to only throw money at NPCs instead of handing it to them
    >He kicks down all doors regardless of place/traps/locks etc
    >He's a 3foot delvien ninja
    >mfw he gets pissed that a giant sandstorm catches him on his magic carpet after he spent 2 rounds mooning it.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)02:05 No.14437025
    Other than the 3.5 this sounds like awesome fun. I always try to pitch pirate campaigns to my group but none of them want to play and I still don't know why. Who doesn't love pirates?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)02:11 No.14437072
    space piracy is much more gooder
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)02:12 No.14437076
    I'm using some house rules to try and make it more fun than regular 3.5. Not sure how well that's going yet.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)02:12 No.14437077
    >players capture man on the run
    >supposed to interrogate him to find where his boss is
    >bring him to bounty office instead
    >three sessions of high-action bounty hunting
    >players become legendary bounty hunters
    >much better than I expected.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)02:15 No.14437100
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    Do you have stories?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)02:19 No.14437134

    My Eclipse Phase characters were considering some space piracy. They got a lift from Mars out to Titan with some smugglers after losing most of their gear in a vehicle explosion and the local law enforcers were possibly hunting them. They thought for a while that the 4 of them with 1 pistol could take on 8 heavy armed smugglers in a brief period where it would take a while for a distress signal to get anywhere, then go get the ship refitted on the sly so it would no longer seem stolen.

    It was a magnificent plan and I was all for them trying but they all pussied out at the last minute and haven't mentioned space pirating since.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)02:23 No.14437167
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    >Superhero game
    >GM gets mad when we stay on the rails TOO well
    >He was expecting us to dick around, fighting thugs and shit, when the main plot was too attractive to ignore
    >The game ends withotu ending because we got too far in the story, too quickly.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)02:25 No.14437181
    I should probably mention that the player who is suggesting that once contributed to the death of a GURPS space pirates game by trying to start an experimental weapons development corporation, among other things.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)02:25 No.14437185
    >large reward on pirate who's been fucking shipping up for everybody
    >party signs up for his crew
    >smuggle gear in by stuffing it inside bread and other food items
    >middle of the sea, they sneak down and go for their weapons
    >the crew found them first
    >unarmed party vs. armed crew
    >forced out of hold and the party jumps overboard
    >ship leaves them for dead
    >party clinging to bottom of ship, sneaking breaths
    >climb aboard ship during night (amazing climb checks were made)
    >murder crew in sleep
    >hogtie captain
    >sail into port, deliver pirates, ship and cargo
    >collect huge bounty
    >drinks all around
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)02:28 No.14437213
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    > using something other than 3.5

    I see the words and still I don't even...
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)02:32 No.14437246
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    And now, during the current session, he is designing assault weapons and rolling very well.

    Most guns are cap an ball.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)02:40 No.14437337
    >smuggle gear in by stuffing it inside bread and other food items
    I'm sorry, but what?

    What were they hiding in BREAD?

    Or was this bread massive and body-shaped?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)02:42 No.14437354
    This is why you specifically make everything special, and then randomly use totally mundane things as plot items.

    That way, your players don't know WHAT to think.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)03:02 No.14437556
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    More stories plz
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)03:02 No.14437564
    What is good about 3.5?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)03:05 No.14437584
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)03:19 No.14437672
    Are you being serious?
    Compared to what?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)03:21 No.14437684
    I dunno.

    There are loads of splatbooks though.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)03:27 No.14437732
    I concede that to be true.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)03:29 No.14437750
    >Be hired to steal a spaceplane for someone
    >Instead take it into orbit and blow up a space station
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)03:38 No.14437809
    Compared to other types of D&D would be my guess.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)03:42 No.14437830
    >DM introduces plot with evil cult, expect to fight evil cult, get quest to deliver gold instead
    >Expect to get ambushed by bandits while delivering gold, get attacked by hawks instead
    >Stop at an inn where everyone is killed by the evil cult, expect to fight evil cult, DM introduces DM PC instead and we are knocked out via failed spot rolls
    >Wake up in cell with no gear, expect to escape and fight our way through the cult's base, instead we get stuck on a puzzle for 2 hours before DM does rocks fall, everyone dies

    What's the DM version of derailing the game?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)03:49 No.14437879
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    >I have planed a intersting and fun extended fight though a fortress for my friends on next game day.
    >I just now remembered that they will probably just blow off the King and the entire encounter I spent 5 hours working on will be for nothing.
    Hell, sometimes I think my time would be better spent making an RPG Maker game.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)03:54 No.14437919
    Make him spend several extended rests just to get one round of ammunition completed, then explain to him how assault weapons weren't impossible in the 17th because people were too stupid to make them, it because industry was nowhere near built up enough to make it feasible in any way shape or form.

    If he's an awesome engineer, he'll begin to create rifling instead, thus making weapons, more accurate.
    (If he's a chemist he'll probably go for nitro-glycerin)
    Don't just stand aside and let him roll for everything, damn it, be a good DM.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)05:48 No.14438480
    There's already rifled muskets.

    I intent to make him roll for the ammunition though, and after like 8 rolls the design isn't finished yet.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)06:02 No.14438551
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    That's not too outlandish. After all, it's only a jump of a few decades between the invention of the percussion cap and things like Gatling guns and Spencer rifles. The puckle gun concept is pretty low tech as well.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)06:07 No.14438567
         File1301652428.jpg-(1.33 MB, 2856x2142, fal.jpg)
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    This is the picture he showed me for what he was designing.

    Perhaps not terribly outlandish, I guess, but way out of place.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)06:07 No.14438568
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    >Sign up for a game of D&D, don't know any of the other players or the DM
    >Meet up
    >No one appears to be obviously crazy or retarded
    >Laugh, have a great time
    >Game time begins, character sheets come out
    >My face when I brought a cleric of St. Cuthbert to a monk battle
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)06:20 No.14438628
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    >their faces when token white person
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)06:26 No.14438651
    What if he isn't the token white person? What if he's the mighty whitey?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)06:29 No.14438663
    Or if it's a black cleric
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)06:30 No.14438668
    Well, if it's 3.5, that's a given.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)06:38 No.14438705
    >a village got infested with zombie
    >with zombie

    To be fair, that sounds like a kind of boring adventure.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)06:38 No.14438707
    i have a blackguard but not a black cleric whats its hit die?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)06:39 No.14438709
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    >Monk man's town...
    >St. Cuthbert's Law!
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)06:40 No.14438716
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    Lamest necromancer ever.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)06:40 No.14438718
    killing mindless hoards of zombies
    fucking mindless hoards of fey
    im sorry but i have to agree with the party on this one
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)06:44 No.14438737
    >hordes of zombies
    No no, you've got it wrong.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)06:48 No.14438760
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    but why?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)06:53 No.14438783
    It's a splinter cell.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)06:54 No.14438791
    >playing RT
    >ask the players what they want to do
    >One of them says lets go to the black market and look for work
    >say they're rogue traders that's like having a doctoral degree in physics and working at mcdonalds
    >oh well lets do that any ways
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)06:56 No.14438801
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    >Didn't come up with any plot for the players to engage in.
    >"Okay guise yur ROGUE TRADERS wat do" campaign.
    >Mad at his players that his game sucks.
    >> SMAP 04/01/11(Fri)06:57 No.14438803
    "What do you want to do?" is a terrible question. Give them a goddamn jumping-off point, for crying out loud. Did you tell them about resources to exploit in the sector? Do they have any vendettas they need to finish? Are there any pressing threats to their little empire?

    Giving them a blank world and saying "well you can do whatevs" is pretty boring and crippling.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)06:57 No.14438808
    I expected them to at least say hey lets go exploring not sit there and ask for a job from some low life criminal.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)06:58 No.14438810
    >planning how to build an ironclad dreadnaught powered by scramjets or something
    >Need supersonic airflow in the engine to work
    >useful in the M 5-15 range, needs other engines to boost it to that speed (easiest would be turbojets up to M3, then ramjets up to M5)
    Holy shit, that is going to be the fastest fucking dreadnought ever.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)06:58 No.14438811
    Was playing a game once where the DM gave us some plot hooks for stuff we could do. We find some magic trinket that belonged to some guys who kidnapped an NPC, if we track it to its maker we can find out who the kidnappers are. Or, we can go searching for the lost artifacts that the kidnappers are after, which were taken from an old elven ruin and are probably in some private art collection somewhere.

    One of the other players thinks that this is equivalent to being given no direction. "DURR WHAT DO WE DO THE GM ISN'T LEADING ME BY THE NOSE TO MY NEXT OBJECTIVE."

    Guy was a faggot.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:00 No.14438820
    Rockets powered by decanters of endless water and turbines driven by undead horses were also discussed.

    As well as a large cannon with an enchantment to automatically reload itself from a pocket dimension, constantly firing to produce thrust.

    They're insane, my players.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:01 No.14438828
    >Mage: The Awakening
    >Planned: Nothing. Sandbox-style dickery, making friends and enemies along the way, fun times all around
    >What actually happened: Fifteen sessions in, player decides to convince the other players it would be a great idea to bring Mars to Earth for the purposes of equalizing the atmospheres so they could have a world where Paradox doesn't exist

    It's long since turned into a hugely entertaining chronicle. I've begun playing out several opposing forces coming out of the woodwork to stop them, up to and including:

    >The spirit of the planet granting five magic rings to teenagers to control the inevitable fallout,
    >A corps of engineers from the U.S. Army Rangers Exalting simultaneously and building giant robots to combat them,
    >A young mute Hunter from an alternate dimension that is attempting to rouse Cain, an Exarch, the first Werewolf from the grave, and one of the True Fae with the power of his haunting flute melody

    I don't know if this is the most theme-breaking game I've run or the greatest. I'm fairly certain it's both.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:02 No.14438830
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    >Running a Rogue Trader campaign
    >Tell them they need to find the Strixis to acquire an item.
    >One player read somewhere that Strixis sometimes chill with Rogue Trader flotillas in the Expanse.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:03 No.14438836
    Dude. How can you play with this bullshit magitech engineering crap going on?
    Unless YOUR enjoying letting them run rampant through your campaign, curtail this shit. It's easy, watch:
    "No, greg. It doesn't matter that you rolled a natural 20. You can't invent the combustion engine. or thermite. or shotguns."
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:04 No.14438843
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    >player decides to convince the other players it would be a great idea to bring Mars to Earth for the purposes of equalizing the atmospheres so they could have a world where Paradox doesn't exist

    Like, the planet? But, gravity...
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:05 No.14438846
    I wish I had your players. Mine refuse to go off the rails. I even explicitly gave them a game without rails where they could pick their own quests to go on and such, and they STILL managed to find the rails, get on them, and promptly stay on them.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:06 No.14438853

    Lucky bastard.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:08 No.14438858

    Yes. The whole planet.

    He said that he could think of a few better ways to go about it, but "None of them would have been as awe-inspiring as moving an entire world, spinning it like a top around another world, then putting it back where it's supposed to be after everything's leveled out."

    "Oh, and for the record, yes. I know this is a terrible idea and that I should feel terrible."
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:08 No.14438861
    I'm not certain but I think paradox is a fundamental flaw in reality resulting from the kersplosion of the celestial ladder, so it's present everywhere. It just wouldn't be as bad on mars due to no sleepers present.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:11 No.14438870
    I'm not going to just let them run rampant, of course. It's D&D, so high-level NPCs with player classes will be using similarly wacky shenanigans against them.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:11 No.14438873
    Well, in that case, his plan would work. Because if he brings Mars in close enough to Earth to "equalize the atmospheres", there aren't going to be any sleepers on Earth, either.

    Also, both planets will probably fall in to the sun.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:14 No.14438881
    Again, it wouldn't eliminate paradox, nothing can eliminate paradox save the destruction of the abyss, if that's even possible.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:14 No.14438882
    Plus, the guy doing the engineering actually has the knowledge skills for it, and I'm making him roll more than just once for designing things. I'm going to have his ship design be something that takes maybe multiple weeks of in-game time, and any really bad failures on the skill rolls will result in critical design flaws.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:14 No.14438883
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    >The spirit of the planet granting five magic rings to teenagers to control the inevitable fallout,
    >A corps of engineers from the U.S. Army Rangers Exalting simultaneously and building giant robots to combat them,
    >A young mute Hunter from an alternate dimension that is attempting to rouse Cain, an Exarch, the first Werewolf from the grave, and one of the True Fae with the power of his haunting flute melody
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:15 No.14438891
    I'm pretty sure the gravity of two planets suddenly moving really close together would also cause some major havok.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:22 No.14438915
    or just ya kno die

    its just like captcha says pollution hyper
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:23 No.14438921
    Even assuming he parked Mars well outside the Moon's orbit, you could look forward to increased tidal stress, resulting in earthquakes, tsunamis, and all kinds of other crazy fun shit. It could potentially rip the atmosphere off the Earth.
    If the two planets get close enough together, the gravity stress could cause either (or both) to begin to fracture.
    The presence of another large gravity body could upset the moons orbit (see above for tidal stress) and could send it careening out of earth's orbit (which would be bad) or crashing down in to it (which would be worse).

    And that's just if Mars is close enough to SEE with the naked eye. Like, half the size of the moon when view from earth, say.

    Planets aren't really meant to hang out with one another.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:25 No.14438930
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    >or just ya kno die
    Yes. That is what I was implying. Thank you for playing.
    Please come back and try again after your class covers spelling and reading comprehension.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:25 No.14438931
    I get the Planeteers, and the Power Rangers, what's number three?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:26 No.14438934
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    It's a mute elf kid with a magic flute.
    Obviously, it's Drizzt.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:28 No.14438942
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    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:28 No.14438944
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    I remember some dude complaining about one of his players wanting to this a few months ago. I also remember said dude saying the player, who thought bringing 2 planets close enough together to "transfer atmospheres" was a good idea, was supposedly much more intelligent than himself, the DM.

    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:29 No.14438945
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    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:30 No.14438947
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:30 No.14438949
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    i was talking about the planets destroying each other like

    im not big on astrophysics (if thats even the correct field) but i dont understand how the planets would throw each other into the sun

    also theres no need to be a dick just because you misunderstood my post
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:31 No.14438950

    That was me, yes, though I don't think I was complaining. He's usually smarter than I am, with extra emphasis on "usually."

    That said, I stopped caring and took the suggestions that I thought were hilarious enough to be of any real merit.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:34 No.14438961
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    ...your post was five words, two of which were misspelled. And then what captcha told you to say.
    There wasn't anything to misunderstand. Rather, it seemed more like YOU missed the point. And continue to. Good luck with that.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:37 No.14438979

    This is about 20 kinds of bullshit. Where is his character pulling the ideas from? He's using OOC knowledge to fuck shit IC.

    This ain't cool, bro.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:38 No.14438981
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    Fair enough.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:39 No.14438986
    This is only awesome if the guy is a gnomish or dwarven inventor. Who is also insane.

    But I get the impression that he's a minmaxed human fighter or wizard. Or a halfdrow/halfdragon.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:44 No.14438996
    You think that's bad? I've had a player refuse to play my games because they are too sandboxy, after the first session.
    Now, what were those games:
    1. A supernatural game centering around one of the players being an amnesiac. During the first session they managed to do everything I had planned and he still complained that there weren't enough rails. I guess it was wrong of me to assume that as a GM I wouldn't need to tell the players that going to the police station is a good idea. They did go, just as I had thought they'd do and they had the encounters on the way and at the station (the police were after the player). But no, it wasn't enough.
    2. More of a traditional horror game where the players are sent out to investigate a small town for a company that's lost contact with their local branch. I had written pages after pages of information on the NPCs and fun little details that would make the players go "wtf?" But it still didn't have enough rails since following clues is too damn hard.

    Then again, this was the other GM of the playing group and he'd find reasons to not play my game and then make it into a "Well, I'm going to run a game simultaneously then" every fucking time I'd try to run a game.
    So eventually we stopped playing with that guy.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:45 No.14439014

    The idea has to start somewhere.


    He's a human artificer.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:47 No.14439017
    You know, I bet you could have combined some of those sentences, especially near the end of your little rant.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:47 No.14439020
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    In the campaign fluff, is he some kind of mad inventor? Because if so, I'm okay with this.
    Otherwise it sounds like some asshole player trying to invent the HUEGEST SWORD EVAR.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:48 No.14439022
    >is he some kind of mad inventor?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:50 No.14439029
    >Campaign starts with us finding dying man outside a tavern.
    >Instant derail
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:50 No.14439031
    That tells me that he's a class what makes magic items. Doesn't tell me why he's also the magictek version of Ben Franklin, Alexander Graham Bell, and Henry Ford all at once.
    It's halfway there. That's a class that could, maybe, justify this shit. The other half is the story.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:53 No.14439037
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    >campaign starts, BBEG cleric is being a dick, foreshadowing.
    >throw aboleth mucus in his face. He fails the save.
    >he "drowns" because he suddenly can breathe water but not air.
    >I kill the campaign.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:53 No.14439039
    >No time to plan for a game for an entire week
    >Players show up anyway with chips and drinks
    >Sigh heavily, prepare to dust off the old Save The Princess routine while I indulge in the please-run-a-game-for-us bribe drinks that they brought
    >Five hours later, realize that I've been buzzed out of my goddamned mind because of energy drinks and the players are having a blast save the world by traveling back in time to kill the first hero to ever live, who was magically altered to gain power from experiences rather than training and passed this thaumaturgical oddity on to his descendants... which happened to be them
    >Players now keep trying to spike my drinks with legendary amounts of caffeine to try to get the lightning to strike again
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)07:55 No.14439050
    More like a cross between Nikola Tesla and Wernher von Braun with a bit of Gordon Gecko in the mix.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)08:02 No.14439078
    Oh and before people ask, the sad thing is that other than that asshattery he wasn't really a That Guy either. He would do all sorts of great dungeons and puzzles when he was the GM. Although some times he'd have some retarded railroading *) and whenever he tried to get us to play pre-made scenarios it didn't really work.

    *) Seriously, this is an actual quote, paraphrasing, from me to him. "So you're saying my character, the soldier, whom I've explicitly stated will follow orders of his superiors without doubt, shouldn't have executed a person that he had no reason think was innocent?"
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)08:06 No.14439088
    Designing them based on his OOC knowledge of guns. Face it, that player is "that guy."
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)08:07 No.14439093
    He is, but not as awful and unfun as you seem to think.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)08:09 No.14439098
    Plus he's an inventor with IC knowledge of how guns work.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)08:38 No.14439213
         File1301661502.jpg-(6 KB, 149x150, JUST_AS_PLANNED_by_Smokoto.jpg)
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    > Wharhammer fantasy
    > a PC wants to find some drugs, and go to the tavern to do so
    > GM (me) takes out random NPC from his assehole - a strange old woman who's drinking some mysterious potion while being apparently totally stoned
    > player got strange green herbs from her, before she misteriously disapears some moments later
    > My face when this random NPC became a major plot-hook in my campain
    > My face when the herbs are Verbana
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)08:44 No.14439234
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    >No preparation
    >At all
    >Players do random shit
    >I throw more random shit at them
    >They make connections between totally unrelated events, add motivations to people who acted solely because I needed something to pass time etc.
    >I roll with it with minimal changes
    >They feel awesome for "guessing it right"
    >They go BEST GAME EVER
    >mon visage quand
    >> Laughing God 04/01/11(Fri)08:48 No.14439255
    Ha Ha Ha Ha. Sadly, that doesn't happen.
    I've been DMing for roughly 10 years now.
    If you aren't playing with the Naruto Kids, that doesn't happen and will never happen.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)08:53 No.14439280
    Gentlemen, I think I just found my next character.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)08:58 No.14439303

    I am not even going to argue here. Obviously your experiences are universally true and what happened to me did not, in fact, happen at all, because it simply cannot.

    Fine by me.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)09:00 No.14439309
    So you admit that you were lying
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)09:01 No.14439314

    No. I do not.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)09:02 No.14439320
    Then why did you say what you did
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)09:03 No.14439331
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    >druid finds coin on ground
    >magpie steals coin and sit down in a tree
    >magpie begins to talk
    >druid shoots it

    every player when plot happens "ITS THE PLOT! SHOOT IT!"
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)09:03 No.14439332
    He was attempting to use sarcasm. I don't think it worked, as he didn't use a smiley or somesuch to indicate sarcasm. That, or the receiving party was not of high enough intelligence to recognise this.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)09:04 No.14439335
    Let me break it down for you.
    >I am not even going to argue here.
    That's a lie.
    >Obviously your experiences are universally true(...)
    >Fine by me.
    Sarcasm again.

    Wasn't that hard, was it?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)09:04 No.14439336
    I think you're right about it being because of not having a smiley.

    That totally threw me off.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)09:05 No.14439347
    >Wasn't that hard, was it?

    You're one to talk. I'm pretty sure he's just messing with you, bro.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)09:06 No.14439350
    Yeah, it's tricky, isn't it?

    Statements that can be taken at face value in text form usually will be, unless overwhelming context dictates otherwise.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)09:06 No.14439355

    I'm playing along. I have nothing else to do.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)09:09 No.14439367
    Sure thing bro
    >> Laughing God 04/01/11(Fri)09:14 No.14439393
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    >mfw I unleash a 10+ post-strong discussion about sarcasm with ONE sly post

    And I wasn't even being serious, dude.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)09:16 No.14439412
    Bloody magpies

    They're not to be trusted
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)09:17 No.14439415

    Truth be told, it wasn't your post that directly started it, unless you were
    As well, thus doing it in two posts.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)09:19 No.14439426
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    >> Laughing God 04/01/11(Fri)09:20 No.14439434
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    Want to see a magic trick?
    >> Morrowindfag 04/01/11(Fri)09:21 No.14439442
    This is pretty much every game I've ever DM'd and yes they think I'm the best DM ever.
    Sometimes I throw them a curveball and the first theory they thought out but later disregarded because of assumption x is actually the right one because they missed evidence y.
    Evidence Y of course being something that only exists retroactivly.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)09:21 No.14439444
    Oh boy yes! Let me just put on my magic watching goggles!
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)09:22 No.14439448
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    >> Laughing God 04/01/11(Fri)09:25 No.14439473
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    No one respects the big jokers anymore...
    >> northern /k/ommando 04/01/11(Fri)09:29 No.14439505
    buth thermite and shotguns are both easy as fuck to make.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)09:30 No.14439507
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    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)09:32 No.14439522
    Play a super smart villian in our GURPS supers campaign.

    >GM practically hands me shipments of awesome weapons ready to build into a deadly robot suit
    >Ignore all such shipments
    >Stay in tiny London flat and draw up crazy machines to solve the world's problems
    >Sell machines to countries in exchange for other countries national debt
    >Erase US debt in exchange for some old gulf oil platforms
    >Build floating city between them and start buying up the contracts of the smartest people on Earth
    >Nanofabricators to destabilize the economy of countries which rely on cheap labor whilst strengthening the economy of my ever expanding city.
    >Create a defense force of extremely deadly cyborg police.
    >Wait till Mexico goes to shit enough to fall to the cartels
    >Offer to annex the country to help stop the violence

    My DM's face was priceless when he realized that I'd just done a hell of a lot more than any of the main plot villians our heros were supposed to run into.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)09:32 No.14439524
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    What's the difference between The Joker and The Joker jokes

    The Joker jokes get told
    >> Laughing God 04/01/11(Fri)09:33 No.14439527
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    >> Laughing God 04/01/11(Fri)09:35 No.14439542
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    You are terrible.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)09:35 No.14439546
    >Sell machines to countries in exchange for other countries national debt
    It's at this point the DM should have started sending US hitmen/kidnappers to see what was up, but well played in any case.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)09:36 No.14439550
    I am.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)09:36 No.14439558
    I'm also horribly sleep-deprived.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)09:36 No.14439560
    Dammit, Boxbot.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)09:40 No.14439582
    Dark Heresy:

    >Players hunting down an ancient cogitation engine needed to quadrangulate (however you say triangulation when you add in the fourth dimension) the next appearance of the tyrant star in order to stop a demon of khorne from using it to destroy Scintilla.
    >They find out that the entire building is stuck in a time dilation field as a result of the dark tech running the engine.
    >They trick the engine into showing them the time after next that the star will show up.
    >Find out it's only 100 something years off.
    >Figure out that that's only about 7 years in the field
    >Briefly argue over whether or not to just say "fuck everyone we know. We'll save the Imperium next go around."
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)09:44 No.14439614
    I actually did some of this dealing with the US too. Specifically major US oil companies.

    The fun part was that for other countries I had to solve their problems. For the US I just had to offer not to.

    "This is a design for a cheap effective solar plant. I'll sell for 2 billion dollars. I'm sure, afterall, that you can be trusted to see to it that this gets put to use in the way most beneficial to mankind"

    Of course, no plants were ever built and the oil industries remained safely in charge.
    >> Laughing God 04/01/11(Fri)09:48 No.14439663
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    ... oh gods.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)09:49 No.14439665
    Honestly, I think my biggest saving grace was that I hired my secretary early on. She's a damn wizard with publicity and soon enough I had enough friends in different countries that it wasn't too likely that the US would get the chance to kidnap me.

    As it is now, I've lost most of my friends just because they're starting to realize I'm going to slowly spread my city across the face of the Earth. Thing is, they already rely fairly heavily on us for all manner of cheap production and various corporations are trying to buy a chance to start up within the city.

    Beyond that. Our standard issue side arms blow up tanks and we're working on an anti aircraft/missile defense sniper rifle.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)09:50 No.14439676
    Poor Boxbot. Nobody likes him.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)09:58 No.14439739
         File1301666312.jpg-(74 KB, 460x345, butcher.jpg)
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    >>Campaign starts with us finding dying man outside a tavern.
    ohhhh goooodddd
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)10:03 No.14439765


    the butcher will kill you, man. Run Away!
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)10:11 No.14439821
         File1301667088.png-(2 MB, 1680x1050, scanning.png)
    2 MB

    You don't. Triangulation works fine in three dimensions. Think spheres instead of circles.
    >> Morrowindfag 04/01/11(Fri)10:12 No.14439827
    >find vertical bars
    >close door
    >equip bow
    >laugh and give him the pincushion treatment

    There were much worse things in that game.
    Like the Black Death zombies that PERMANENTLY lowered your hitpoints by 1 with each hit. Leading to people avoiding them like the... uh black death.
    >> Ted 04/01/11(Fri)10:13 No.14439840
    rolled 79, 19 = 98

    Wouldn't it be called Pyramidization then?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)10:17 No.14439868

    He's Black. He's Brutal. He's Cuthbert.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)10:22 No.14439903
    He said the 4 dimensions, X, Y, Z, and Time.

    Is that Eve Online?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)10:27 No.14439932
    I ping things down faster with 4 probes, but hey, you do what you want.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)10:37 No.14440007
    A pyramid has a square base, moron. If you guide the lines from all the spheres you still get only a triangle.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)11:04 No.14440184
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    >Prep System Shock as a Traveler game.
    >Tell them they just have to hijack a Password from an admin, and they can hack in to an Omni-tech system and start taking money.
    >Party proceeds to take what I intended to be a 1 night setup and make it into a 3-month adventure kidnapping / recruiting / burglarizing *all* of the administrators in order to get *all* the passwords, and cease *all* corporate assets.

    >They never got to Citadel Station.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)11:13 No.14440225
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    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)11:17 No.14440242
    I think from the start the DM wanted us to save a kingdom from some invading nation, but the majority of the group turned out to be evil, and now I think he's having more fun letting them do what they want.

    I still try to keep tabs on all the plot points we've missed and people we could've saved, but it's getting harder and harder now to clean up the mess left behind by the group. On that note, I'm pretty sure they're doing it on purpose now to make life harder for the couple of us that aren't outright evil.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/11(Fri)11:23 No.14440274
    I'm pretty damn sure you need 4 probes to lock on to a signature. Locating something on a 2d plane needs 3 circles to pinpoint the thing, but 3d needs 4 spheres (Three will give you two points in space, but without a way to rule one point out you need a 4th sphere to pinpoint it.) Presumably 4 would work with a 4d (time inclusive) pinpointing if you can rule our one date, otherwise you'd need 5 4d sphere equivalents. Of course, this is just musing from someone that's unsure how 4d ANYTHING works except some of the more interesting spacial distortions you can pull off.

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