Biff may have fared better had he not run around naked all the time.

Speaking of that, what's our inventory? How much crap is in our shitbox wagon?

Current status: Dr. Orange and Daphne are in fair health. Ted is suffering from exhaustion.

We have 5 oxen, munitions are holding well, food is holding well. Our pace is average, and our rations are filling.

Any of this can be changed with the roll of a dice. Let them fall where they may.

rolled 3 = 3

>>14332822

/tg/ dice gods please bless this roll that our pilgramage may continue.

ONWARDS TO GLORY, BROTHERS.

>>14332809
Sets of clothing: 8 (they are all the bottom parts of clothing. We decided to forge on in dapper undergarments.
Bullets: 414
Oxen: 5
Spare wheels: 3
Spare axles: 1
Spare tongues: 3
Pile of meat: 283 pounds.
$105, which in these times, is a buttfucking ton of money.

rolled 1 = 1

NO FOOD, NO REST, FIND A RIVER AND FORD THAT LONG OFF-COLOR STREAM OF PISS!

FOR BIFF! WE WILL FORD IT ON OUR NEW SQUIRREL HIDE BOAT!

This, warriors, is the Sister Daphne, with the voice of an angel, and an ass you can bounce a quarter off of.

And our party setting forth, pissing off crybaby Indians and killing squirrels, firing shots randomly into the sky.

We still doing this tonight? I'd love to finish this tale.

Come on, /tg/. WHERE IS YOUR SENSE OF ADVENTURE?

rolled 8 = 8

>>14332984

Sorry, /tg/ crapped out on me for a second there.

Press on! We will not fail this time!

rolled 10 = 10

You can keep rolling, by the way. Fuck it, let's see EVERYONE ROLL

FUCK IT I WILL ROLL AS WELL

ROLL TO CHARGE HEADFIRST INTO DESTINY, KICKING THE SHIT OUT OF NURGLE AND HIS FAGGOTY MINIONS, AND TURNING BROTHER TED INTO AN ANGRY MARINE

Well let's get a move on, we've got a long way to go and it's already October.

rolled 3 = 3

>>14332996
All good, crapped out on me, too. We shall continue.

>>14333005
OH SHIT. NOW CANON.

Dr. Orange.
Daphne.
Angry Ted.

THUMBS UP
LETS DO THIS
Pressing onward.

rolled 10 = 10

UPDATE:

BROTHER TED WAS FEELING TIRED, BUT THEN REALIZED HE ISN'T SOME CRYBABY PUSSY AND THAT THERE'S HOT SISTER OF BATTLE TITS TO BANG AT THE END OF THIS ROAD. SO HE YELLED HIMSELF BACK TO HEALTH.

HE YELLED. HIMSELF. BACK. TO HEALTH. HOW DOES THAT WORK YOU ASK?

FUCK YOU, THAT'S HOW.

SQUIRREL KILLING RAMPAGE.

rolled 10 = 10

Well, shit.

>>14333059

ffffffff

That sucks! But it's better than someone dying anyway.

rolled 8 = 8

>>14333059
And so, after pissing around in the wilderness for a while, followers of Nurgle came to us and gave Daphne typhoid fever. Brother Ted, for no real reason, shot several squirrels, moose, rabbits, and I think he bludgeoned a deer to death with his cock. This must have pleased the Emperor, as we continue now, with Daphne in far better health.

Also, I rolled three tens in a fucking row. I should stop rolling.

Yessssssss. Let's hit the trail!!!

rolled 4 = 4

Happy Halloween from Fort Boise. What a great place for my 50th screencap.

>COMMAND?<

rolled 5 = 5

>>14333126
INCREASE SPEED
FULL THROTTLE

rolled 1 = 1

Anyone? I notice there's several quest threads up. Another time, battle brothers?

rolled 6 = 6

>>14333206
Sell the pants, then ONWARD DOUBLE TIME!

>>14333206

Saw that too. This keeps up we'd almost need a quests board.

rolled 2 = 2

Ah, fuck it. Forget the rolling.

LET US FORGE AHEAD. KICK REASON TO THE CURB.

DO THE IMPOSSIBLE! SEE THE INVISIBLE!

>>14333225

That would be good if it had a modified algorithm for autosage and auto-delete.

rolled 9 = 9

So, after much trading, we got some new oxen, one of which died on the way here, and we sold all our pants except what we wear. Except Daphne, she doesn't wear pants.

As Brother Ted shouted at wildlife and Dr. Orange made himself look like a badass in a rainstorm, we have arrived here.

WHAT IS OUR NEXT COURSE OF ACTION?

Where did you download this? I've been banging my head against the wall trying to find The Oregon Trail Deluxe in a non MS-DOS format

rolled 1 = 1

>>14333266
Butcher the fallen Ox for food. Never keep below 200 food left. If need be, eat Ted.

>>14333266

How much further do we need to go? It's going to get really cold and horrible soon.

>>14333266
Kill faggot squirrels.
Fuck Daphne.
Move on.

>part 3 of oregon trail thread
My body is ready.

>>14333266
Go South! To MEXICO!

rolled 1 = 1

>>14333300
/rs/, my good man.

>>14333304
PUSSY ASS VERSION WONT LET ME EAT THE OX. BROTHER TED USED THE OX TO BEAT SQUIRRELS TO DEATH WITH. A FAIR TRADE.

DO WE CONTINUE?

rolled 9 = 9

>>14333333
South! To Mexico!

Failing that, FORGE ON! TRIPLE PACE!

>>14333333
Which version?
Also, Holy shit sextuplets

rolled 3 = 3

>>14333311
We are so very close, brother. So very close.

We continue.

rolled 5 = 5

AND THE TRAIL DIVIDES.

>>14333333
AW SHIT. HERE. WE GO.

rolled 2 = 2

>>14333362
Ford the river!

rolled 8 = 8

>>14333362

We have no time to piddle around with trade! TO THE RIVER!

rolled 10 = 10

>>14333362
Shortcut.

Duh, we have low food and not nearly enough children to eat.

rolled 6 = 6

>>14333362
Shortcut to the Dalles! Never stop!
Also, link to the game please, there are a fuckton of versions on /rs/

>>14333386
The Dalles! Final Destination!
HEAVEN OR HELL, LET'S ROCK!

rolled 10 = 10

It's almost over. We're at the Dalles. And now, my fellow brothers in arms, we that remain. The Emperor has tempered us with His will, and by His grace, we are here.

Now, there is but one final task. One final choice.

Ted has been stricken with cholera. But his vengeance burns harder than any pee.

rolled 4 = 4

>>14333465
Raft that river! Fuck it until it bleeds, and then keep fucking it!

rolled 2 = 2

>>14333465
River Rafting!

rolled 7 = 7

>>14333465
we raft like the gods did before us

rolled 3 = 3

>>14333465
Go around it in the most boring fashion possible.

>>14333465

We're fucking rich, let's take the toll road.

rolled 7 = 7

>>14333500

Fuck, forgot my dice

rolled 6 = 6

>>14333508
>>14333492
OH SHIT! Tie-breaker? Raft the river!

rolled 9 = 9

HIGHWAAAAAAAAAAAY TO THE DANGER ZONE

rolled 6 = 6

Was there any other way, with our fearless leader at the helm?

rolled 9 = 9

Rejoice, my brothers and sisters. We have made it.

We made it, and we are going to PARTY HARD.

rolled 7 = 7

Our score isn't god awful, either, considering.

>>14333561
HUZZAH!
May your deeds and sexy clothing survive the millennia!

>>14333537

Celebrations are in order!

Mix the blood of the squirrels we have slain in our finest ale! We shall toast our good fortune!

>>14333561

Time to fucking RAIL Daphne. Fuck yeah!

rolled 2 = 2

Gentlemen. This started as a way for me to kill some time and play Oregon Trail with /tg/ after I downloaded it.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=2rggajkq Here, by the way.

But what happened, what came from this, was a legend. And a blast. So, I toast to all you fine warriors.

May history know us by our names, and may the drawfags give Sister Daphne the justice she so totally deserves.

rolled 1 = 1

>>14333633
Could we have failed anyway? I mean, this is /tg/.

Home of Minmaxing.

How could we fail?

rolled 3 = 3

And so, the final chapter in our heroes' tale was closed. The timestream was fixed, and Dr. Orange pursued his dream of making wooden sexual instruments in Willamette valley, garnering himself a small fortune. A statue was built to commemorate Biff's enduring legacy, and his words of wisdom are engraved upon it:

"Me dong is a squirrel killin' machine!"

Sister Daphne started a church, the Sororitas Bloomers, and leads a battalion of Sisters wearing lingerie and nightwear.

Brother Ted has perfected the art of killing squirrels, and has developed, in conjunction with Dr. Orange, a cannon that fires living squirrels at other squirrels, hitting them with altered timeline waves to un-make them. His laughter can be heard through the valleys.

And so ends the tale of these brave wanderers. History would know their names in this bitter, savage struggle. The Oregon Trail is yet another war to be fought.

And war?

War never changes.


It's been a blast. Until next time, /tg/.

Stay gold.

>>14333585
THIS. A THOUSAND TIMES THIS

someone archive, for the love of Biff. ;_;

>>14334128
archived.

Never change, /tg/