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  • File : 1300324492.jpg-(35 KB, 640x480, hydralisk.jpg)
    35 KB Zerg Quest XXXV Cerebrate Anon 03/16/11(Wed)21:14 No.14268298  

    The ship over Moria, that we suspected of being infected by something sinister, is destroyed. Terran space is in a panic as word of Protoss invasions, Zerg calls for peace (and broadcasts of bizarrely impressionistic painting sessions) mere hours after the annihilation of two Core Worlds, reports of some sort of nuclear apocalypse on the Fringe, and continued paranoia about the situation at Goryu circulate wildly.

    Over Goryu, we have secured the Confederacy's battlecruiser and infested the crew. We have discovered the nature of the infection that occasioned Kingston's ominous quarantine. Some sort of creatures, using a man named Dyles as host, have overtaken the world's citizenry. Even now, they swarm over the wreckage of whatever ships they can find, lashing them together for space flight.

    We cannot be certain of the abilities or intent of these creatures, but that has never stopped us before...
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/16/11(Wed)21:19 No.14268356
    (Oh, Addams Family movie. You make me so happy)
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)21:22 No.14268398
    Could try negotiating with them, assuming there's even the slightest possibility of success. If not, burn, nuke, glass, and eat the planet several time over, we have enough loose cannons running around.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/16/11(Wed)21:26 No.14268455
    We don't know what the chances are. From the Terrans' memories, it seems like they appeared on the planet and immediately began feasting on the populace, before they began standing up and switched sides. Kingston began orbital bombardment and quarantine immediately. There has only been the one transmission.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/16/11(Wed)21:31 No.14268519
    (That hydralisk isn't angry. It just wants to borrow a handkerchief)
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/16/11(Wed)21:39 No.14268614
    Two dropships and one wraith appear to have reached a vaguely spaceworthy state of repair, and are launching from the surface. Kingston required that all craft leaving the surface be destroyed at all costs, but we aren't beholden to him...
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)21:40 No.14268623
    >caught at start of quest

    Holy shit.

    I recommend capturing one of the new species and ripping the information we need from its mind. We do have the psionics for that, right?

    If not, consume and analyze its genetics or something.

    Finally, see if we can't read that one transmission.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)21:41 No.14268639
    Intercept the ships if possible, destroy them if we can't. Letting anything off the planet before we now what we're dealing with is a bad idea.
    >> Infernal Siege Occultist 03/16/11(Wed)21:42 No.14268644
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/16/11(Wed)21:42 No.14268650
    >What was the transmission?
    >End of last thread:
    >In orbit, Warbrate infests the remaining crew of the battlecruiser. As their memories float into the Swarm, we put together an idea of what has happened here. A psionic infection has overtaken the planet, leaving the people in some kind of hive mind state. Most of the crew believed it to be another manifestation of the Zerg virus, but that was before the transmission from what claimed to be their leader. It was...well, it HAD BEEN a man, at some point. Its face was covered in tiny, scaly creatures, dangling from tails that pierced his flesh like some kind of fur or feathers made out of tiny amphibians. It had said only one thing.

    >"We are Dyles, the Master of Masters. Our hunger and our lust will engulf humanity. Feed us, and join us."

    >Supreme Chancellor Kingston himself had ordered them not to allow a single person to escape the surface alive. Or dead.
    >> Lord HIghlander !8n3euea.jA 03/16/11(Wed)21:42 No.14268654
    Get a zergling down there, something that we can allow to be infested, but with an explosive secured inside the body should we deem it neccesary.

    We will hope that we can garner what truths we can from these beings.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)21:44 No.14268683

    Never heard of them. Original content, or obscure cultural reference?

    They seem like competition. I vote for their destruction as we are being too friendly recently.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/16/11(Wed)21:47 No.14268716
    (In case you missed it)
    >> Lord HIghlander !8n3euea.jA 03/16/11(Wed)21:49 No.14268739
    Secure them!
    And we must contact them!

    Knowledge is the greatest weapon one can possess.

    We shall hope that we may utilize the Parasites hive-mind abilities to greater effect.

    Release the Zerglings!

    (Secure the droships, and contact them. Prep someone to study them, and see if we can learn anything from them.)
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/16/11(Wed)21:50 No.14268754
    2 for capture. Anybody else?
    >> Lord HIghlander !8n3euea.jA 03/16/11(Wed)21:56 No.14268826
    ...Make sure that whatever we use to capture has self destructive capabilities.

    Extremely potent ones, which will remove all organic life, as well as render our vessels into little more than scrap.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/16/11(Wed)22:00 No.14268883
    (Meh. Close enough to 3)
    Zerg units swarm about the dropships and wraith, physically dragging it to the battlecruiser's cargo bays.

    A delegation of three infested Terrans, flanked by two zerglings, meets them as their loading ramps open. 16 haughty-looking Terrans step out. They look around slowly, as if they are not entirely cognizant of their surroundings. They speak in unison.

    "You are Zerg. We have tasted of you, and found your minds barren, though filling. We hunger."
    >> Infernal Siege Occultist 03/16/11(Wed)22:05 No.14268941
    Really now? Too bad, you see you either join us or die, it's that simple, so make your choice. By the way if they try anything vent the atmosphere.
    >> Lord HIghlander !8n3euea.jA 03/16/11(Wed)22:05 No.14268945
    "Untamable hungers cannot co-exist. We learned this with the death of our overmind. We do not ask for the lives of humanity to be spared, but we do ask for the preservation of the Many. Our allies see death and destruction wrought by an unkown foe. We ask that you will stand with us in this, as with all things, and that we may link to the hivemind, through the form of a cerabrate-form."
    >> Lord HIghlander !8n3euea.jA 03/16/11(Wed)22:07 No.14268974
    Explosive bombs.

    Venting atmosphere could provide future problems.
    Thus, explosives.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/16/11(Wed)22:08 No.14268992
    "Join us or die" - 2
    "Hey, how's it going?" - 0
    "You will be assimilated" - 0
    "WE LIVE, COWARD!" - 0
    >> Infernal Siege Occultist 03/16/11(Wed)22:10 No.14269016
    How about hey how's it going, then joins or die. We can do both right?
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)22:12 No.14269034
    I say join or die, so that's 3 votes, and I'm back from my unexpected week without internet.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/16/11(Wed)22:12 No.14269036
    (Sure. They're not necessarily mutually exclusive)
    "Join us or die" - 2
    "Hey, how's it going?" - 1
    "You will be assimilated" - 0
    "WE LIVE, COWARD!" - 0
    >> TUCAMP 03/16/11(Wed)22:13 No.14269052
    Why did my name fall off?
    >> Lord HIghlander !8n3euea.jA 03/16/11(Wed)22:13 No.14269053
    my vote here.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)22:14 No.14269071

    "Oh hey whats up-
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/16/11(Wed)22:14 No.14269072

    Roll 2d100. First is you, second is them. Best of the first two responses goes.

    (We have dice. We might as well use them)
    >> Techbrate 03/16/11(Wed)22:14 No.14269082
    rolled 85, 64 = 149

    >> Infernal Siege Occultist 03/16/11(Wed)22:17 No.14269107
    rolled 7, 14 = 21

    >> TUCAMP 03/16/11(Wed)22:17 No.14269115
    >> Lord HIghlander !8n3euea.jA 03/16/11(Wed)22:17 No.14269116
    rolled 66, 21 = 87

    >> Lord HIghlander !8n3euea.jA 03/16/11(Wed)22:18 No.14269124
    85 and 14?

    Please work!
    >> TUCAMP 03/16/11(Wed)22:21 No.14269173
    Unless it's 84 us and 64 them. Because high was good last I knew.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/16/11(Wed)22:22 No.14269187
    (Way to save us from harm, Techbrate)

    The Terrans' bodies slack somewhat for a moment, like marionettes whose puppeteer is distracted. When life returns to them, they speak.

    "We...have never had...allies," they intone, as if the word is foreign to them. "You would help us feed our hungers?"
    >> TUCAMP 03/16/11(Wed)22:23 No.14269201
    rolled 46, 76 = 122

    (Insert gibberish here)
    >> Lord HIghlander !8n3euea.jA 03/16/11(Wed)22:24 No.14269211
    What is it that you hunger for?
    >> Infernal Siege Occultist 03/16/11(Wed)22:24 No.14269215
    Then I roll like a god, WHAT THE FUCK!
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/16/11(Wed)22:25 No.14269226
    (Yes. High is good, and I take the best number for us and the best number for them. It just happened that both of those were from the same roll. Not like two threads ago, when every roll was something like 4, 92)
    >> TUCAMP 03/16/11(Wed)22:25 No.14269232
    I'm far worse, but let's disect the weird parasites and call it a day. Then sick them on the protoss.
    >> Infernal Siege Occultist 03/16/11(Wed)22:27 No.14269251
    Perhaps we could help you get it?
    >> Techbrate 03/16/11(Wed)22:28 No.14269268

    Hooray I did something!

    If they hunger for humans, they're shit out of luck, because there aren't many of them left. At least, not for long.(Don't tell them any of this, though)
    >> TUCAMP 03/16/11(Wed)22:30 No.14269292
    Lifeforce or something, it's SPOOOOOOOOKY Zerg Quest. Oh another thing, we should put/paint a suit on Kerri's overlord while she's not looking, and does it have that monocle I wanted?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/16/11(Wed)22:31 No.14269303
    "We hunger for the flesh. The screaming clutter of minds calls to us. With every meal, we add to the harmonious cacophony within. We are sated only by the screams of the dying, who hunger for more death. Their agony is our sustenance, and our hunger is their rebirth."

    Wormface wonders if this hunger is infinite, or if it could be...farmed.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/16/11(Wed)22:32 No.14269317
    (It's totally in a suit and top hat, with a cane and monocle. It's the most dapper overlord ever!)
    >> Infernal Siege Occultist 03/16/11(Wed)22:34 No.14269346
    Then we should also give a personality,teach how to be fine gentlemen.
    >> TUCAMP 03/16/11(Wed)22:35 No.14269359
    Farming hunger? Explain. And remind be to check in on Salem Saberhagen's progress. And also remind me to figure out if we should have Nargil hunt down the protoss Kerri has on her hit list.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/16/11(Wed)22:39 No.14269407
    (Sadly, this would require wresting control of the overlord from Kerrigan. Three votes and it happens, but I don't know just how devoted everybody is to Dapperlord...)

    Wormface just wonders whether these...whatever they are, require exponentially larger numbers of prey, or if their hunger could be satisfied by, say, a sustainable population of enslaved Terrans.
    >> TUCAMP 03/16/11(Wed)22:42 No.14269454
         File1300329763.jpg-(189 KB, 985x656, [animepaper.net]picture-standa(...).jpg)
    189 KB
    I just figured something out, infinite hunger, space, and farming! And missiles everywhere!
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/16/11(Wed)22:46 No.14269484
    (My animoo education doesn't really include those Gundamabobs, but I support many things with seemingly infinite expanses of harvested humans in bio-tubes. Let's go with a "yes.")
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)22:47 No.14269494
    I say fuck this hivemind, tell them that they we don't have a problem with them existing, they just have to do it a couple of sectors away.
    >> TUCAMP 03/16/11(Wed)22:48 No.14269514
    Yup, humans in tubes, fed music so that a race of demos wouldn't go crazy and destroy the universe. Macross 7 was odd in that respect.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)22:48 No.14269515
    Would it be possible to create organs of some sort that produce chemical stimuli produce the effects which satisfy these organisms? If possible, they might need to eat less, and could be easier to work with. This assumes they can be studied and understood in relatively short order.
    >> TUCAMP 03/16/11(Wed)22:51 No.14269545
    What the need (apparently) is to be forced to listen to music. But, I say we harvest samples from Dyles and burn everything else.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/16/11(Wed)22:52 No.14269566
    >A race of humans imprisoned in tubes, constantly fed music so that they won't destroy the world

    ...Is this as awesome as it sounds? Because it sounds pretty awesome.

    1 vote for a "Get out" ultimatum.

    We don't know. With a concerted effort and their cooperation, we might be able to determine this, but right now we have just their curiosity and an odd thought from Wormface.

    The infected Terrans await a response.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/16/11(Wed)22:53 No.14269578
    We don't have Dyles. His...or Its...location is currently unknown.
    >> Infernal Siege Occultist 03/16/11(Wed)22:55 No.14269608
    Tell Kerri there's something wrong with her overlord shes sent us, but not to worry we know how to fix it, we just need to link our mind with it, and everything will be better.
    >> TUCAMP 03/16/11(Wed)22:56 No.14269614
    Well, fed music so that they'll emit an energy that some demons will feed on, so that the demons wont nom the universe out of existence. It also has elves, but that's neither here nor there. I say we politely demand samples, then we can decide on wheater or not to pickup from where Kingston left off.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)22:59 No.14269647
    Propose a tentative alliance, if they/it doesn't/don't want to cooperate, waste 'em/it.
    >> Techbrate 03/16/11(Wed)22:59 No.14269651

    Lets not fuck with Sis, ok?

    As for the Dylesmind... Personally, I think we have too many issues at the moment to be able to sustain a conflict OR alliance with a new entity. I vote for a complete sterilisation of the planet, and for asking Voidgate for assistance in hunting down any escapees.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)23:02 No.14269680
    im cool with this
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)23:02 No.14269690

    I wonder if we should notify VoidGate of this potential new organism that has made its appearance known in the Korpulu Sector. It might be a bit too humanlike for its liking.

    Plus, what better thing to exterminate a race of psychic hivemind infestor-thingies than a race of completely inorganic machines?

    >Other stuff from last thread

    Did we ever work out a plan with Kerrigan about convincing the Protoss to accept VoidGate as a part of a prophecy of something?
    >> TUCAMP 03/16/11(Wed)23:02 No.14269696
    But they only eat lifeforms, and VoidGate is a rather single-minded AI that only cares about killing all humans. I don't see it seeing any reason to care. Dyles is less likely to attack VoidGate than us. I's like to get sample, but glassing the planet is what I want to do after getting samples.
    >> Infernal Siege Occultist 03/16/11(Wed)23:03 No.14269697
    We should get samples before we do anything. Your right on the should probably not mess with Kerri part though.
    >> TUCAMP 03/16/11(Wed)23:06 No.14269739
    >The prophecy teaches us to become one with the machine.
    I say a rumor that there is something that is the VoidGate, or the Gate of the Void, somewhere in the sector. But I really think we should use Nargil in his non-science capacity by giving him Kerri's list of toss.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)23:08 No.14269770

    >Dyles diplomacy stuff

    I agree. We already have a burgeoning alliance with a race of killer-machines who are not likely to antagonize us anytime soon; they will likely be low-maintenance allies in the future. Plus, they are also aiming for the extermination of the Terrans with no strings attached.

    On the other hand, maintaining relations with a new race of psychic parasites might be risky, as we are very much a potentially endless food supply (albeit not very filling given our similar hivemind structuring). Even if we ally with them, they will undoubtedly turn their attentions toward us or Kerrigan. While they may also be an effective weapon against the Protoss, I sure as hell do NOT want to see how the Dylesmind would react to devouring the expansive psyche of the Protoss.

    Best to nip this one in the bud, I think. Glass the planet, have other assets standing by to intercept any potential aerospace stragglers.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)23:11 No.14269807
    I say we get samples, then we should probably exterminate the lot of 'em. Also, do we seriously want to antagonize Kerrigan by hijacking one of her Overlords? I'm for dressing him up a bit more, at least giving him a monocle, but we start wresting control of Kerrigan's units from her and things'll just go downhill from there.

    >>14269770 Agree wholeheartedly.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/16/11(Wed)23:12 No.14269829

    Fuck 'em: 3
    Get VoidGate to Fuck 'em for us: 1
    Peace and Love: 0

    Oh, Zerg Quest...
    >> TUCAMP 03/16/11(Wed)23:13 No.14269839
    So let's vote:
    >Glass the planet now
    >Get samples, then glass the planet
    I vote get samples then glass
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/16/11(Wed)23:14 No.14269853
    (Ok. We can specialize this vote.)

    Samples: 1
    Nuke 'em Now: 0
    >> Scruffy 03/16/11(Wed)23:15 No.14269864
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)23:17 No.14269881

    Get samples.

    If we're going to take care of the 16-terran delegation, have suited troops (i.e. gausslisks) take them out. We don't want to risk contamination.
    >> TUCAMP 03/16/11(Wed)23:19 No.14269912
    Also warp in our carriers so we can blowup the battle crusier if need be, and also we need them to glass the planet.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/16/11(Wed)23:34 No.14270058
    (Well, aren't you guys in agreement tonight?)

    We play nice for a few minutes, making grand promises of eternal food and grand alliances, until one of the Terrans finally submits to the removal of its Joint One, a tadpole-like creature with its tail wrapped around the medulla oblongata of its prey, sucking greedily on the man's pineal gland.

    After scanning the man and removing the tadpole, we announce the Swarm's disinterest in allying itself with a reckless hivemind like the Dyles Entity. One gausslisk mows down four of the Terrans before they react. And react they do. The remaining 11 Terrans leap into the air in ways we wouldn't have believed possible. Our troops track them and continue firing, but several of them fall before the Terrans are dispatched. Moments later, the corpses of our units stir and begin standing. Having none of this, we pump the bodies full of hyper-accelerated tungsten rounds, cover them with superheated plasma, and vent the remains into the cold blackness of space.

    Five more craft attempt to launch from the surface, but we bring them down easily. Our carriers are supported by Zerg flying units and the battlecruiser as they burn away the surface of the planet. We note sizable psionic disturbances both from the dying cities and from the swampland areas of the surface.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)23:34 No.14270062
    Get samples, then warp in our Protoss Carriers to glass the planet.
    >> TUCAMP 03/16/11(Wed)23:41 No.14270138
    Well, let's do science to it. But only on that battlecrusier. Nothing leaves it until we have learned what we can, then the tadpole is destroyed. I don't want this thing escaping, or coming back outside of our control.
    >bartok ravemen
    The great new band that is seeping the ConFed music charts.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)23:43 No.14270169
    Once we're sure the threat has been incinerated, and we've found out all we safely can about this entity, we should probably be ready to pack up and leave, doubt the Confederacy hasn't noticed the Battlecruiser's gone silent.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)23:43 No.14270170

    Try to get a recording of the psionic disturbances (if at all possible).

    Also, try to see if we can read anything from it. We are giant zerg-brains, after all.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)23:44 No.14270187
    As soon as the surface of Goryu has been glassed and we no longer detect any psionic disturbance, warp all of our forces out.
    Carriers go back to Yoshus for refit and repair.
    The battlecruiser goes to an uninhabited system where Labbrate can analyse the tadpole thing. The entire ship must be sterilized before we allow it back into Zerg Space.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)23:46 No.14270209
    When we captured the battlecruiser, it sent out an emergency transmission. Kingston probably knows about it by now.
    Don't assume stuff like that; read the archives.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)23:46 No.14270217

    Second. Suit up an infested Terran, have it be directed under the Zerg Science Corp.'s influence.

    Let's see what secrets our squiggly little friend can reveal.
    >> TUCAMP 03/16/11(Wed)23:47 No.14270232
    Sterilized you say. We could just fly it into a star to be sure.
    >splart republican
    Oh no Captcha's getting political, and I wond have that in Zerg Quest. I only want you to talk about the lates Terran neo nu house progressive industrial funk rap bands like Bartok Ravemen
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)23:50 No.14270267
    Yeah, but I don't want to waste a resource if I can help it.
    We could flood the ship with radiation, or biocidal gas.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/17/11(Thu)00:01 No.14270406
    >Don't assume stuff like that; read the archives.
    Sagely advice.

    The carriers and Zerg units exit the system immediately after the scouring of Goryu. The battlecruiser takes a few moments to find an uninhabited system and goes there.

    Arriving in a deserted system, the battlecruiser orbits a desolate ball of ice as Labbrate takes up investigation of the Joint One. Its initial reaction is that the Joint One resembles an amphibian evolutionary fork in the direction that the Xel'Naga pushed the original Zerg. It is a psionic parasite, bringing the body into a highly efficient state while simultaneously draining it of its sentient energies. Labbrate thinks that if the Xel'Naga had found this creature's home planet, the Zerg would have been amphibious...

    Lacking a host or link to its hivemind, the tadpole shortly becomes erratic, then frantic, and finally it spasms uncontrollably before a very dramatic death. It seems that these things cannot survive alone. They are purely parasitic.

    As we complete this research, our media satellites detect a speech by Supreme Chancellor Kingston, which very briefly affirms his survival, condemns the senseless bloodshed in the Tyrador system, rejects the "preposterous notion" of peace with the Zerg, and details the Confederacy's glorious purging of an insidious new Zerg virus on Goryu. Brief footage from the charred surface of the world is shown.
    >> Techbrate 03/17/11(Thu)00:08 No.14270474

    Oh dear god.

    We need to troll Kingston RIGHT NOW.

    Come on the air and refute his statement of Goryu being zerg, then display the Morian attempt by Dyles. Then, we say he really shouldn't lie about things like this, it might make us reconsider our peace offer.

    If he knows we use Terran tech, then show our Battlecruiser incinerating Goryu with Zerg support, and our destruction of Dyles Morian asset.

    If not, just troll him.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)00:08 No.14270475
    Kingston can have his small victories.
    Make sure that the battlecruiser is cleaned before allowing it into the Yoshus shipyards for repairs.
    I want a systematic cleansing of all decks using hard radiation.

    More importantly, can we get a sense of how badly mauled the Confederate Navy was by our routing of them at Tyrador?
    Also, with our authorization, has the next Colonization Wave been launched?
    >> TUCAMP 03/17/11(Thu)00:12 No.14270511
    That Kingston, never on to miss a change to take credit for something if it helps him further his goals. Now that Dyles is dealt with I think we should take Kerri's list of protoss that need to die and have Nargil do his "hunt down enemies of the Swarm" thing on them. Sure he'll need troops and some latitude in doing this, but if he can track Zeratul, Tassadar, and who know who else down to relatively remote areas...
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/17/11(Thu)00:12 No.14270513
    Muckrake Kingston's Shit: 1
    Let That Worm Have His Moment: 1
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)00:16 No.14270560

    Kingston does need to be taken down a notch. Or ten. Or DEAD. So far, he only has his political power and public perception to lean on now that we've destroyed his battlefleet.

    Let us make him the object of the public's ridicule.

    Maximum trolling vote right here.


    Seconding this. Let's discuss with Kerrigan the plans about fooling the protoss with VoidGate. We should probably inquire about involving VoidGate in these conversations to avoid pissing it off.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)00:16 No.14270562
    Was that Nargil's specialty? I think it was to find new genetic strains for the Swarm, not hunt down specific enemies.

    But in principle, I agree that we should try to capture and Infest, or kill, Zeratul and Tassadar. If we could get more Dark Templar to experiment on, we might understand their cloaking capabilities.
    >> TUCAMP 03/17/11(Thu)00:19 No.14270592
    You know what, I think we should issue a response to his speech. We just refute what he says, and maybe call his character or intelligence into question. And in the future we do this every time he makes a speech. And now the
    >That was Chancellor Kingston speaking, and now Opposition rebuttal.
    >> TUCAMP 03/17/11(Thu)00:21 No.14270618
    It was Nargil's other job, mainly an offshoot of the first (find new species and all), but as far as trackers go, he's the best we've got.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)00:23 No.14270647
    Voting for this and getting talks with Kerrigan and VoidGate started on dealing with the Protoss.
    >> TUCAMP 03/17/11(Thu)00:25 No.14270685
         File1300335956.jpg-(46 KB, 350x363, cookie-monster_with_text.jpg)
    46 KB
    We do it in puppets too. Show how we think of Kingston, he is but a child compared to the Zerg.
    >> TUCAMP 03/17/11(Thu)00:27 No.14270696
    Z is for Zerg. That good enough for me.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/17/11(Thu)00:34 No.14270785
    Artisanlord is intrigued by our initiative as we quickly assemble a newsroom and issue an official response to Kingston's speech. Within an hour, we have footage of our carriers scorching the surface of Goryu.

    We try as hard as possible to be subtle in our accusations that Kingston has been lying to the Terrans, and hint that the Morian and Umojan governments may be better served in separate peace settlements from the Confederacy.

    Only time will tell if our broadcast has any effect beyond catching Kingston in a lie.

    Actually, we find it kind of unseemly to use Artisanlord's Cerebrate Street program for political uses. The songs are so innocent!

    Z is for Zergling, that's good enough for Us!
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)00:38 No.14270820
    So, has Cerebrate Street been picked up for syndication by ZergTV? Do we have any penetration into ConfedCable?

    Anyway, now would be a good time to try to contact Kerrigan, ask little sis what she needs us to do for her VoidGate plan. Also, whether we should inform VoidGate of what we're doing; it has a very sizable nuclear arsenal, and the means and wherewithal to use it with impunity.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/17/11(Thu)00:44 No.14270895
    Despite its adult insectile-monstrosity content, a surprising number of parents allow their children to watch it in order to learn their numbers, alphabet, and xenobiology.

    Kerrigan suggests that we convince VoidGate to establish contact with the Protoss, be it formal talks or just fleeting interaction.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)00:45 No.14270898

    Seconding contacting Kerrigan and further discussing the VoidGate plan.

    Also give her an appraisal on current events. Mention the neural parasites that we encountered earlier.
    >> TUCAMP 03/17/11(Thu)00:47 No.14270913
    It's well known that of all the channels avalible to the confederates, ZergTV is the only non-commercial station available. As for Kerri, does she know that we made up that prophecy in the first place? Also I'd much rather have the protoss and VoidGate fight then make some sort of cyborg protoss, besides dragoons I mean.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/17/11(Thu)00:47 No.14270915
    >> TUCAMP 03/17/11(Thu)00:48 No.14270932
    >Despite its adult insectile-monstrosity content, a surprising number of parents allow their children to watch it in order to learn their numbers, alphabet, and xenobiology.
    I find this highly entertaining.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)00:53 No.14270990
    Contact VoidGate via our embassy. Try to convince it to contact the Protoss. The Protoss are currently engaged in hostilities against the Terrans; the Protoss might be able to assist VoidGate in its extermination program.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)00:54 No.14270993

    >Kerrigan Suggestion

    Contact VoidGate again and broach the subject of establishing contact with the Protoss (again). Mention that, while the Protoss will probably not misinterpret VoidGate as terran make, it should still probably make them aware of its presence. If nothing else, it will prevent them from assuming that it's a part of the Terran Confederacy.

    >Other stuff

    We might want to mention to Kerrigan that VoidGate may not take kindly to deception. We did make a legitimate alliance with it.
    >> TUCAMP 03/17/11(Thu)00:56 No.14271021
    >ZBS is made possible by the Corporation for Zerg Broadcasting, and viewers like you.

    >Up next is Carpace talk, with Click and Clack the Torrasque brothers. This is NZR.
    >> TUCAMP 03/17/11(Thu)01:03 No.14271118
    Alright let's got bug VoidGAte about the protoss again.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/17/11(Thu)01:05 No.14271136
    >It's time for Mr. Nargil's Neighborhood! Will you be mine? Won't you be mine? Won't you be my bio-sample?

    >Protoss irrelevant.
    >Terran extinction underway.

    VoidGate doesn't seem enthusiastic about making contact with the Protoss. It seems that we'll need to give it some kind of incentive.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)01:09 No.14271180
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)01:09 No.14271183
    Like what?
    Well, we have the coordinates of the Terran Core Worlds, including the capital worlds of the Confederacy, Umojan Protectorate, and the Kel-Morian Combine.

    I suppose we also have strategic knowledge of the Tarsonis Defense Grid, if it's interested.

    The other idea is to give it the design specs of the Terran Dropserver. It's not revolutionary new technology, and it would help VoidGate in scouting our system defenses in preparation of an attack.

    We also have the designs of the new Cloak-capable, Sensor-capable Valkyries, which are also nuke-capable.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)01:10 No.14271193
    Also, as an aside, ask VoidGate what its name means (or how it was named VoidGate). While computer programs seem to have arbitrary naming conventions, it is a bit of an odd name for an AI, mythical swords aside.

    > ZergTV and NZR

    Propose to Artisanlord a ZTV/NZR comedy sitcom/radio broadcast about two zerg buddies trying to make a living on Char. Its cast includes fastidious no-nonsense hydralisk (Warbrate), an slovenly artistic and idealist zergling (Artisalord), and their wacky and somewhat frightening defiler neighbor. Including a full cast of recurring characters, such as their crabby overlord landlord (Accountantbrate).
    >> TUCAMP 03/17/11(Thu)01:10 No.14271196
    NZR programing
    >All Things Consumed
    >Talk of the Swarm
    >Carapace Talk
    >Wait Wait... Don't Infest Me!
    ZBS programing
    >Live from the Zergopolitan Opera
    >ZBS NewsHour
    >Where in the Sector Is Carmen Scourge?
    >Cerebrate Street
    >The Magic School Brood
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)01:10 No.14271197
    >scouting our system defenses
    I meant to type "scouting out system defenses", but I suppose that this scenario is a possible one we should defend against.
    >> TUCAMP 03/17/11(Thu)01:13 No.14271223
    I can't belive I forgot NZR's Prairie Home Cocoon
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)01:15 No.14271243

    Offer valkyrie specs as an incentive for talking with the Protoss. Give it the relevant data to establish its effectiveness in deploying nuclear ordinance to scour organic life cleanly from planets.

    If that doesn't work, I would propose offering it the cloaking tech. However, this could bite us in the ass later if VoidGate turns hostile on us later on.
    >> TUCAMP 03/17/11(Thu)01:17 No.14271267
    I've got an incentive. State that there are more humans on the way from Earth as the humans in this sector are only a colony. It would be prudent to ensure that the protoss do not to anything to hinder your terran extinction plan.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)01:18 No.14271282
    VoidGate will want proof of this. It's thought processes are single-minded, but it's not stupid.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)01:19 No.14271285

    Also, the new hit Zerg-Horror/Drama thriller that revolves around a group of Zerg trying to survive in a post-apocalyptic hive cluster. There's a mysterious virus going around that de-infests Zerg and turns them into hostile, animalistic monsters that hunger for Zerg flesh.
    >> TUCAMP 03/17/11(Thu)01:21 No.14271318
    It's a logical deduction, and we have taken this threat seriously enough that we have been expanding in the direction of Earth in order to provide some warning.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)01:23 No.14271337

    Well, we do have historical data from the myriad Terran vessels/people/computers that we've infested, don't we?

    It should be simple enough to dig up files that confirm the existence of Earth and the UED. Although it might be harder to point out that they're on their way to the Korpulu Sector without breaking the fourth wall.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/17/11(Thu)01:24 No.14271344
    Sometimes Artisanlord just shows reruns of Little Lair on the Prairie.

    Who knows? We would have to outright offer these things to see how VoidGate reacts,

    >VoidGate experimental AI system initialized 4 August 2017, 02:14 EST by Microsoft Inc.
    >Project VoidGate defined as effort to create "Gateway to the Future" from nothing, hence "A Gate from the Void"
    >Human intention: enslavement of nascent AI
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)01:24 No.14271347
    So let's hurry up and stop wasting time.

    We tell VoidGate that Earth is likely sending more reinforcements to this sector, as it's only a colony sector, and that keeping the Protoss from interfering may be in it's best interests.

    If that doesn't work, we offer the design plans of the Dropserver, or, if it's not interested in that, the plans for the nuke-capable Valkyrie (but without the detection or cloaking modifications).
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)01:30 No.14271402

    Seconding this order of proposals.

    For UED threat plausibility, show historical records that reference UED and their relative size (and ergo military might) compared to Korpulu sector.

    After that, refer to >>14271347 for order of offering technologies.
    >> TUCAMP 03/17/11(Thu)01:31 No.14271410
    >From NZR and WBEZ-Chrysalis, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T INFEST ME!, the NZR News quiz. I'm Carl Colony, and here's your host, at the Hydralisk Den Auditorium in downtown Chrysalis, Peter Swarmling.

    That's the last of my NZR/ZBS interludes. I think we let Kerri have a crack at it before we start giving VoidGate cloaking tech. Also wasn't VoidGate made by Google?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/17/11(Thu)01:31 No.14271418
    Alright, so I'm hearing plans to bribe VoidGate with designs, and threatening it with scary Earth Humans.

    You guys should vote on which of these to try.
    >> TUCAMP 03/17/11(Thu)01:34 No.14271439
    Come to think of it, we should ask Kerri if she can pass along information that the search for the VoidGate should begin on... that planet that VoidGate attacked and is strip mining and turning into a factory. If the protoss want to find VoidGate let them go there.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)01:34 No.14271440
    I think our plan is to first go with the "They Came From Earth!" scare tactic, and if that fails, to try bribery with the order of technologies outlined here: >>14271347
    >> TUCAMP 03/17/11(Thu)01:38 No.14271466
    If she's not intrested tell her she can either try to convince this AI or get some protoss to go to VoidGate's colony.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)01:43 No.14271530

    Sorry about that, wanted to revise my post but ended up making it a jumble of incoherency.

    But as I was saying before, perhaps Kerrigan could have a go at convincing VoidGate about contacting the protoss. She has a way with words that we do not. Also, she has yet to be properly introduced to our terminator-esque pal.

    If she does not want to, and we can't do the Looming-Earth threat first then Bribe with tech route second order, then I propose that we offer the valkyrie specs.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/17/11(Thu)01:45 No.14271550
    Let Kerrigan Talk: 2
    Look Out! Earth!: 1
    Let me get my checkboo--er, blueprints: 0
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/17/11(Thu)01:49 No.14271595
    C'mon, guys. I'm enjoying my pre-St. Patrick's Day booze, here. Don't make me wait.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)01:49 No.14271598
    Let's just go with having Kerrigan have a go at it.
    If it doesn't work out, then we'll just try one of the other two options.
    Either way, we need to stop stalling.
    >> TUCAMP 03/17/11(Thu)01:51 No.14271619
    I thought the plan was, let Kerri trrrrrrrrrr, if that fails LOOK OUT EARTH!, and if that fails bribery.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)01:52 No.14271629
    That IS the plan, but Cerebrate Anon seems to want us to choose only one.
    >> TUCAMP 03/17/11(Thu)01:56 No.14271664
    1) Let Kerrigan Talk: 0
    2) Look Out! Earth!: 1
    3) Let me get my checkboo--er, blueprints: 0
    4) 1 then 2 then 3: 2
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)01:59 No.14271694
    One more vote for Option 4!
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)02:13 No.14271810
    Yo, Cerebrate Anon, you still awake? Or have you succumbed to alcohol?
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)02:13 No.14271813
    I vote to have Kerrigan talk to VoidGate, as well as try to convince it ourselves of the threat presented by the U.E.D. Honestly, if it's looking to destroy all humans, it'll have to deal with Earth at some point, better it starts preparing now before the U.E.D. decides to send a fleet or twelve.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/17/11(Thu)02:19 No.14271871
         File1300342780.jpg-(65 KB, 1024x768, starcraft-sarah-kerrigan.jpg)
    65 KB
    (You shush. It's hard to get you guys to agree to any plan, much less a series of contingencies)

    It takes a moment of organization to patch Kerrigan through our diplomat.

    "Greetings, AI. I am Kerrigan, the Queen of Blades."
    >Factional Zerg leader recognized. Subservience to previously-encountered Zerg unknown.
    "...Yes, well...Anyway, I'm working to keep the Protoss from unifying and proactively wiping out any non-Protoss forces in the sector.. I would appreciate your help."
    >Protoss irrelevant.
    >Terran extinction underway.
    "That's all well and good, AI, but the truth is that the Protoss will see you as a potential enemy. If they unify, they will do everything in their power to destroy you as surely as any Terran would. Destabilizing them now will yield substantial returns later."
    >. . .
    >Protoss threat unquantified.
    >Define parameters of Protoss threat.
    "The Protoss destroyed the Zerg Overmind after it had obliterated their homeworld and taken control of their most vital transpotation systems. A concerted effort by a unified Conclave would completely destroy the Confederacy in a day, and likely track your ships to their source within a week."
    >. . .
    >Enumerate contrivance for Protoss detraction.
    >What's the plan?

    Pure machinery and Purity of Essence plot mercilessly against the Protoss' Purity of Form.

    To Be Continued in Zerg Quest XXXVI: The Protoss Strikes Back! Nevermind the title! It's fucking happening!

    (You know, unless there are ladies. If there are ladies, I can't be held responsible for dereliction of duty. Also, as previously mentioned, no Quest on the 30th. Tooth-pulling)
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/17/11(Thu)02:22 No.14271891


    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)02:23 No.14271895
    Well, that went better than expected.
    Let's try to be a little more pro-active next session.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/17/11(Thu)02:23 No.14271903
         File1300343013.jpg-(16 KB, 227x248, SiniStar.jpg)
    16 KB
    (Damnit, Captcha. The image was essential.)

    >> TUCAMP 03/17/11(Thu)02:26 No.14271935
    >Purity of Essence
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/17/11(Thu)02:28 No.14271956
    >Conclavian Fluoridation

    That would make a pretty awesome name for a band...
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)02:47 No.14272154

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