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    346 KB Rogue Trader Pt 3: Bonk's Adventure 30 Meter Murphy 03/15/11(Tue)16:01 No.14252439  
    It's not Thursday, but fuck it. Here we go with the further adventures of Rogue Trader Cornelius Gilliam as recorded by Vorgen Thayle

    So last week we overthrew a planetary government, glassed the shit out of a mountain and ran like bitches from ork tunnels when our astropath was cut open by a chain axe after he was violently stunned by the Warp. And this is why Vorgen Thayle is the Seneschal and not Acting-Captain.
    >> 30 Meter Murphy 03/15/11(Tue)16:04 No.14252467
    This time around, we’re back to full strength, with Rogue Trader Gilliam, Arch-Militant Blade Xanitov and Explorator 62-SXE back on the bridge and nursing incredible headaches. They tell a tale of how all three of them played Russian Roulette down in one of the holds with a Red Shirt, which is also how SXE got his shiny new servo-skull. Poor bastard shouldn’t have known better than to play with an automatic.

    We’ve still got all those orks in the former mountain range to finish clearing out. Quint recommends glassing the mountains AGAIN, which we do because, hey its fun causing probably-permanent climate change.

    After raining further death down upon the orks for the better part of a month, the bastards are getting pretty hungry. Bands of orks are raiding outlying communities for food. We decide to go dirtside again and intercept one of these raids on a granary. The Boss would likely lead one of the raids.
    >> 30 Meter Murphy 03/15/11(Tue)16:09 No.14252521
    We proceed to find a simple grain depot on the outskirts of a farming community. Its got two buildings. A small shed and a big grain barn. SXE grabs his storm bolter and climbs up onto the shed. Vorgen prudently decides to hide behind the biggest gun in the party and jumps up onto the shed. Everybody else hides in the granary. Ramirez and Blade set up “The Grinder” at the front door. Remi, apparently still traumatized from his previous experience with orks, immediately dives into a pile of grain. (Seriously, that’s what his player did).

    We hear the orks coming and try to set up an ambush. It sort of works, since two of the three ork groups failed to see us. Unfortunately, the other group looks over at the shed, sees the big man in the red robes and a storm bolter going “Beep. Beep. I’m a satellite dish.”

    “Oi! Dat’s a humie!” The orks proceed to charge. Cue up the Music of NFL Films.

    >> 30 Meter Murphy 03/15/11(Tue)16:15 No.14252594
    Blade wins initiative and fires his bolt pistol at the orks, hitting an ork. From the shed, Vorgen fires a bolter round at the same ork. Both hit but just kind of piss him off. Alisander moves to the door and opens up his warp eye, frying a bunch of orks.

    Group 3 charges the shed and side door of the granary. One at the granary hits Gilliam for a couple of wounds. Gilliam boosts Ramirez’ ballistic skill, then fails to shoot the ork attacking him.

    Ramirez is up next and levels the grenade launcher at a group of orks. “Go get ‘em Ray,” Gilliam encourages. Ramirez aims, fires, rolls badly and manages to injure 1 ork. Man, we suck at grenades.
    >> 30 Meter Murphy 03/15/11(Tue)16:18 No.14252622
    A plasma pistol reaches out from the Pile of Grain and fires two plasma bolts, causing one ork to explode into a shower of gore. The pistol disappears back into the pile of grain. “Oi! Dem humies gots magic grain!”

    SXE levels his storm bolter on a group of orks climbing the shed, pulping two of them.

    Ork group 1 charges other side of the granary, one enters the Grinder and hits Blade. Ork group 2 runs for the granary but doesn’t get into range to do anything.

    Blade levels his thunder hammer and the ork fails to dodge his strike. Its Gallagher time on the critical chart. He hits him so hard the ork explodes in a blast of energy that it also injures 2 other orks and Blade himself.

    From the shed, Vorgen dents another ork unimpressively. From Group 3, 1 ork charges past Gilliam, giving him an attack of opportunity. Gilliam’s plasma pistol overheats, forcing him to drop it. 2 orks charge the currently unarmed Trader and 1 hits, causing some pain. Another charges the Pile of Grain, which manages to dodge.
    >> 30 Meter Murphy 03/15/11(Tue)16:20 No.14252650
    Gilliam draws his power sword and injures it. He also boosts Ramirez’ weapon skill. Ramirez proceeds to miss horribly with his chainaxe. Remi fires another plasma bolt from the pile of grain, hitting the ork that attacked him. SXE goes full auto on two more orks, damaging them something fierce.

    Blade gets charged by Group 1, dodges one but still takes some hits. Group 2’s lone survivor whiffs on Ramirez.

    Blade swings his mighty hammer and hits righteous fury again, splattering another ork against the wall.

    Vorgen tries to hit one of the orks on Gilliam and misses. “Sorry boss.”
    >> 30 Meter Murphy 03/15/11(Tue)16:24 No.14252692
    Ork Group 4 arrives and charges the main door. Alisander proceeds to open up on them with his third eye, almost killing most of them. One of the orks from Group 3 finally hits the pile of grain. Trader Gilliam parries an attack and breaks the ork’s chainaxe. Hooray for power weapons! Three more orks try to climb up the shed because they’re orks and their dumb.

    Gilliam kills one of the orks attacking him (not the one with the busted axe). He also boosts Remi’s ballistic skill.

    Ramirez swings his chainsword and with a mighty strike beheads the injured ork he’s been fighting. The head sails clear into the pile of grain. This seems to motivate Remi, who kills the ork who injured him with his plasma pistol. SXE dutifully pastes the orks climbing the shed with his storm bolter.

    Ork group 1 attacks Alisander and Blade. Blade fails to dodge and gets hit. Hard. He passes out from the shock of a busted-ass leg. He is down for the fight. The Navigator dodges an attack.
    >> 30 Meter Murphy 03/15/11(Tue)16:25 No.14252711
    Vorgen full-autos 2 orks at the main door, killing them. The rest of the orks at the door charge, injuring Alisander and Ramirez. Alisander responds by shooting an ork dead.

    The last survivor of Group 3 attacks Gilliam with the broken stick that was once a chain axe. It bounces off his armor with a loud *Bonk* Gilliam misses on this ork then boosts Remi’s ballistics again.

    Ramirez spends a fate point to reroll a hit and gets righteous fury, killing an ork. Remi also spends a fate point to hit, but doesn’t kill an ork with his plasma pistol. SXE shreds another ork with his storm bolter.
    >> 30 Meter Murphy 03/15/11(Tue)16:27 No.14252741
    Group 1, which is down to 2 orks, miss or have their damage negated. The Ork Boss charges Alisander, hitting him fairly hard. The navigator gets kneecapped and falls prone. Unlike Blade though, he’s still conscious and in considerable pain. From the ground, he grabs his fallen inferno pistol and pumps a shot into the boss, frying him.

    Bonk dutifully *bonks* his stick on Gilliam’s armor, doing nothing. Gilliam casually picks up the now-cool plasma pistol he dropped and hits an ork by Alisander, injuring it. Ramirez charges that same ork and misses. Remi misses the same damn ork from his pile of grain. The Explorator leaps off the shed with a big thud and runs up to the side door, shoving Bonk out of the way.
    >> 30 Meter Murphy 03/15/11(Tue)16:43 No.14252915
    Ork group 1 misses on Ramirez and Remi dodges. Vorgen jumps down from the shed, moves up and puts a round into the ork on Ramirez but doesn’t kill it. Alisander switches to his hellpistol and misses an ork.

    Bonk proceeds to bounce his stick off the Rogue Trader’s armor. Again. He’s adorable.

    Gilliam puts a plasma round into the ork on Ramirez, finally killing it. Ramirez charges the other ork. His chainsword rings true and he smites it dead. Praise the God-Emperor!

    Bonk finally figures out what he’s doing wrong and grabs a chain axe and attacks Gilliam. And then he whiffs.
    >> 30 Meter Murphy 03/15/11(Tue)16:51 No.14252980
    During the fight, it was decided to keep Bonk alive so we could question it. Seeing as he’s outnumbered, Bonk tries to make a run for it, but 62-SXE easily restrains him, holding him up by the scruff of his neck. Didn’t even know orks had those.

    Remi crawls out of his pile of grain and decides the best way to get information out of the ork is to Dominate its mind. He succeeds and Bonk immediately stops struggling and his eyes glaze over. A steady stream of drool drips from his slack mouth. Remi’s body falls back into the pile of grain. For exposing his mind to a xenos mind, Remi gains 4 corruption. He learns that the Big Boss is called Skullcrusha and he’s deep in the mountains. Bonk can’t exactly give directions on how to get there, but knows how to walk there.

    >Club nasti
    sometimes Captcha, you strike gold
    >> 30 Meter Murphy 03/15/11(Tue)16:53 No.14253000
    We come up with a Plan. The Plan is to continue mind controlling Bonk, give him the filament grenade we picked up way earlier and plant a tracker on him. Then we have Remi drive Bonk back to the Warboss, activate the grenade and have Quint lance that location from orbit (Remi would get the hell out of Bonk’s mind when the grenade is activated). Quint is informed of this plan.

    Vorgen nods and flips open a flask on his bolter cane, pouring out some shots of Amasec for a fight well handled. Ramirez succeeds at stabilizing Blade, who wakes up asking “Did we win?”
    >> 30 Meter Murphy 03/15/11(Tue)16:57 No.14253028
    Now its time to enact the Plan. Remi drives Bonk’s mind back to the caves and tries to nonchalantly act like an ork. Bonk whistles merrily and says stuff like “Doo dee doo dee doo. I’m Bonk the Ork. I like dakka.”

    Aside from a few weird looks from the orks, he gets to Skullcrusha and says “Hey boss, I got some food here.”

    *Ping* (Or whatever sound an eldar grenade makes)

    At that moment, Remi leaves Bonk’s mind, leaving the very confused ork holding a live grenade in his Warboss’ face. Remi is able to say “So now we get paid, right?” before taking 5 fatigue and passing the fuck out. We radio to Quint to fire, and he blasts the shit out of the coordinates as the grenade goes off.

    Kind of a shame about Bonk since we grew attached to him during the fight, but hey, the Plan was too good to pass up.
    >> 30 Meter Murphy 03/15/11(Tue)16:58 No.14253039
    We check back in with Lady Torres. “Problem solved,” we say. Gilliam talks her up to giving us a 3rd Profit Point and trade is established with the planet. As we stock the ship up and get ready to leave, we see the beginnings of Lady Torres’ reign. The local population is quickly reduced to abject slavery and poverty and the new colonists aren’t doing much better. But we don’t give a fuck because we just got paid and its not our problem. So long mining colony, we’ve got ADVENTURING to do!
    >> 30 Meter Murphy 03/15/11(Tue)16:59 No.14253048
    As the Primae Noctis AKA Edmund Fitzgerald II starts to leave the system, Alisander notices a standard Imperial colonization fleet moving into the system from the Warp. There’s also a Black Ship of the Inquisition. That’s not exactly good news. The Black Ship (identified as the Purgatory) hails us. That’s even worse news. They are commandeering us to transport a VIP back to Footfall. The passenger is Inquisitor Cricthlow.

    Knowing a full blown Inquisitor is coming aboard, Remi hides out in his room, which he has installed a big vat of grain in that he swims around in. Because it gives him comfort. Now he’s starting to act like a real psyker.

    An Inquisitorial Shuttle lands in our bay. Concurrently, we can’t find Quint anywhere since he ducked into the air shafts of the ship as soon as he heard word that the Inquisitor was coming. We even tried banging on the ceiling with a broom but he found a secure hidey hole.
    >> 30 Meter Murphy 03/15/11(Tue)17:01 No.14253064
    The only two people to greet Critchlow are Trader Gilliam and Preacher Ramirez. Inquisitor Critchlow appears as a middle aged woman in elaborate Victorian dress riding a walking throne. With her is a mostly-augmented guy in heavy armor with a gigantic sword and shield and 12 identically carapace armored storm troopers.

    “You’re Rogue Trader Gilliam? Excellent. I require my state room immediately.” she says. She tells the big armored guy, Collinsworth, to stay with the shuttle.

    On the way to her quarters, she chats up Gilliam, saying she’s had dealings with his family. She burned his uncle for Heresy personally. At her room, she demands to see her agent Proost. That’s going to be a problem, since Proost is all kinds of dead.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/11(Tue)17:07 No.14253119

    "Doo dee doo, I'm an ork and I like daka."

    Pissed myself laughing. Gonna have to play a character like this.
    >> 30 Meter Murphy 03/15/11(Tue)17:07 No.14253130
    At the shuttle, SXE tries to chat up Collinsworth. The Explorator notices that Collinsworth is in the gear of a Skitarii Pattern cyborg warrior of the Adeptus Mechanicus. The armor looks like a custom job. “So you’re one of the shit kickers of the Mechanicus.” SXE says conversationally.

    “Yes.” Collinsworth says without looking at him (directly. He’s got all kinds of sensors trained on him).

    We regroup and come up with a plan about Proost. We arrange for a box of his personal effects to be sent up to the ship. We will not mention looking through his room, and we will agree completely that orks killed him. We will also try to re-crypt the data-slate and put it in with his stuff.
    “Can you re-crypt it?” Gilliam asks SXE.

    “Sure, no problem.” The techpriest rolls so badly to do so that he ends up breaking it. Physically.

    “Okay, new plan,” Vorgen says quickly. “Uh, orks broke it. Wipe your prints off and throw it in the crate with the other junk.”

    “So… I did good, right?” SXE says helpfully.
    >> 30 Meter Murphy 03/15/11(Tue)17:09 No.14253140
    Vorgen is sent to Critchlow’s quarters with the crate of Proost’s stuff. “Hi. Uh, so your adept was murdered by orks in an ork attack. They sent up a box of his stuff. Here you go.”
    She calls the box useless and wants information. She pulls Vorgen aside and demands the ship’s manifests and records of the last several months. Vorgen caves since this bitch is scary and would likely set him on fire if he refused.

    That done, the Inquisitor goes back to her room and Quint pops out of an air vent and asks “Is she gone?”

    “She’s in her room,” the Seneschal responds.

    Quint says nothing and disappears back into the ductwork. Vorgen goes to inform his captain that they’re getting audited by the Inquisition.
    >> 30 Meter Murphy 03/15/11(Tue)17:10 No.14253145
    Some time later Critchlow hands Gilliam a data-slate with basic information on Jonas Quill and his retinue. She demands any and all surveillance records on them. Gilliam hands it over, since all we’ve seen of them has been on the up & up.

    We reach Footfall without any other problems and after shopping around, dock at the Skyway Docks, a division of Skaggs Co.

    As Critchlow and her people leave, she goes up to Gilliam and says “If any of these people on this data-slate book passage, I want to know immediately on THIS” she points at Remi, “Frequency.”

    She leaves and everybody breathes a sigh of relief.
    >> 30 Meter Murphy 03/15/11(Tue)17:12 No.14253168
    We get a call from Bartleby, who is calling in a favor. He needs us to go down to the Foots and talk to a fellow named Jaks, a local barkeep at the Harbor Inn, and retrieve a small item. Bartleby tells us it’s a milk run. As we leave the shift, Quint, who’s finally back in plain sight, shoves a fistful of cash at us and demands a case of apricot brandy.

    Alisander knows that the Foots are one of the most lawless and wild places in the entire Koronus Expanse, full of black markets and slavers. So whatever we’re getting for Bartleby is OBVIOUSLY not kosher.

    We take a lift down and find the bar. Inside there are people sitting around, drinking. A man behind the bar is cleaning glasses with a dirty rag. That’s Jaks. We tell him Bartleby sent us. Jaks goes to the back and we sit around waiting. Blade drinks some bad space ale. Remi eyes up (well, as best as he can) a nasty-looking void born stripper dancing around a pole that’s almost as skinny as she is. Ramirez dutifully hands out pamphlets to the other patrons.

    SXE looks around and notices the signs of all kinds of hidden technology. He finds a port and plugs himself in, being greeted with a message. “Welcome to the depository of knowledge for the Omnissiah.” He’s just discovered that this place is a cover for an AdMech temple/safe house. Not only does he know, but they know that he knows and its time to roll initiative.
    >> 30 Meter Murphy 03/15/11(Tue)17:16 No.14253212
    The bar patrons slump over and deactivate as four Charron Pattern battle servitors rise up out of the floor, hefting some pretty big guns.

    Vorgen takes a full action to hide, throwing his cameleoline cloak over his him and jumping into the shadows.

    Remi draws his plasma pistol and shoots a servitor carrying a plasma cannon, hitting but not killing. Gilliam shoots his brand new inferno pistol at another plasma cannon servitor and hits, but not hard. Alisander takes down one of the wounded servitors and SXE takes down the other. We’ve just taken down the two biggest threats in the room.
    >> 30 Meter Murphy 03/15/11(Tue)17:21 No.14253265
    A servitor with a heavy bolter fires on the Rogue Trader and the gun jams. The last servitor has a heavy flamer that hits everybody except Alisander & Vorgen, who dodge out of the way and SXE who wasn’t in the cone. The rest of the team is now on fire. Remi loses a turn panicking with the sudden realization that “Grain is flammable!”

    Gilliam passes his panic test and puts himself out, then boosts Blade’s willpower. Alisander fires his inferno pistol at the bolter servitor, wounding it. SXE fires a hellpistol harmlessly at the flamer servitor. Bolter servitor unjams his gun and the flamer servitor attacks Ramirez with a chain fist, who dodges it.

    Blade stops panicking and charges the bolter servitor, hitting with the thunder hammer and killing the bastard while still on fire. Easily the most metal thing we’ve done yet.

    Ramirez cleaves the flamer servitor in two with his chainsword, ending the fight.
    >> 30 Meter Murphy 03/15/11(Tue)17:22 No.14253280
    Something rises up out of the floor and four turrets pop down from the ceiling. Inside the thing is a wizened old techpriest in a vat of…stuff who identifies himself as the Oracle and demands we identify ourselves.

    SXE knows that this guy is all kinds of holy within the AdMech and specializes in gathering and preserving information. The kind of information stored in safe houses like this in case in case everything goes to shit.

    We explain that we just wanted to see Jaks to pick up a box for Bartleby. The turrets and Oracle both vanish and Jaks comes back with a small black box. “Have a good day,” he says formally. We thank him and take the box.

    “So does that mean I don’t have to be on fire anymore?” Blade asks.
    >> 30 Meter Murphy 03/15/11(Tue)17:23 No.14253292
    We leave and on the way back to the ship, SXE scans the box with his servo skull, noting that it carries a data crystal. “Tell me your secrets, box!” He demands, popping it open.

    Vorgen says “Fuck this shit. I’m not pissing the Adeptus Mechanicus any more today.” Gilliam agrees and they go off to get Quint’s brandy.
    >> 30 Meter Murphy 03/15/11(Tue)17:24 No.14253306
    SXE plugs into the data crystal. It details a plethora of EXTREMELY classified and heretical data on something called the “Psy-Engine of Calixis 4.” It details rumors of ancient Imperial technology that was used to build psyker-making machines back in the days before the Horus Heresy. The explorator copies the data into his brain and closes the box back up. He does not mention the details of the information to anybody else.

    “Here’s your goddamn box,” Bartleby is told as it is plopped down on his desk. Nobody bothers haggling with him and they just leave.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/11(Tue)17:27 No.14253335
    Is this worth reading /tg/?
    >> 30 Meter Murphy 03/15/11(Tue)17:29 No.14253354
    What have we learned as we reach level 3? The Plan to kill the orks was actually staggeringly effective. Remi Malachi has a deep rooted grain fetish now. We cannot trust SXE to keep his mitts out of anything involving technology. When Quint wants to be unseen, he will succeed.

    The crew has come out of this mostly unscathed and substantially richer. Easily the most successful day.

    End of Session
    >> 30 Meter Murphy 03/15/11(Tue)17:35 No.14253420
    Thread archived here

    Part 1 http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/14115238/

    Part 2 http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/14198776/
    >> Anonymous 03/15/11(Tue)17:51 No.14253564
    For the ork invasion it is. Funny as hell.

    "Bloop bloop, I'm a satelite dish." and other quirky tidbits that may make you grin.

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