!!D3/tV4+5MzR 03/07/11(Mon)00:32 No.14156314|
>Kim Jong Il video, released via website "BESTKOREASTRONG..BK"
"Hello, people of Pranet Eartlh. I am Glorious Leader, Kim Jong Il. Perhaps you have heard of my many inventions and accomplishments, such as basketball, right-handedness, the internet and having hair. Perhaps not.
"Perhaps you believe the RIES spread by my many enemies, which is proof of my value and importance: lazy, dumb people do not have enemies, only masters who beat them for being slow and ineffective and because I never learned to write with my other hand properly.
"That is of no consequence, as my advisers [camera reveals several stuffed animals with military attire] have revealed a horrifying plot to STARVE THE PEOPLE OF GLORIOUS BEST KOREA.
"They have formed a ring of death around this blessed place and are slowly strangling it, watching with GLEE [holds up a copy of Glee!: the First Season on Blu-Ray, then drops it out of frame] as we die in mindless agony and blinding terror [holds up a copy of Twilight on VHS, then drops it out of frame].
"You can help, by sending money to BEST KOREA, care of our many, many embassies, located at Redbox kiosks across the world: simply check out a copy of 'Kim Jong Il and the Magic Rock of the Wizards', available on high-definition Blu-Ray now.
"Thank you and BRING MICHAEL JORDAN HOME NOW, FILTHY UNITED NATIOS."