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  • File : 1299288025.jpg-(7 KB, 250x250, 1286735162183.jpg)
    7 KB Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:20 No.14130012  
    >I aim for the head
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:22 No.14130030
         File1299288125.jpg-(211 KB, 400x675, 1276274506035.jpg)
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    >You meet at the tavern and know each other for some time
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:22 No.14130040
         File1299288149.jpg-(46 KB, 589x375, trollface3.jpg)
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    Well when it looks like that can you blame him?
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:23 No.14130050
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    >Chests full of gold and valuables in dungeons
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:33 No.14130138
         File1299288817.jpg-(118 KB, 520x390, 1243105373084.jpg)
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    >Dragons anywhere in the campaign
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:35 No.14130152
         File1299288910.jpg-(24 KB, 442x337, 1298721268349.jpg)
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    >Can I shoot more than one arrow at once?
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:36 No.14130166
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    >'You failed your persuasion roll.'
    > Another player wants to roll next
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:37 No.14130178
         File1299289061.jpg-(4 KB, 146x120, art.jpg)
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    >My Dwarf doesn't give a shit about common courtesy.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:38 No.14130187
         File1299289108.jpg-(19 KB, 360x271, laughingwhores.jpg)
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    > Long shift yesterday, wake me up when a fight starts.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:39 No.14130202
         File1299289158.png-(109 KB, 268x314, 1280230182826.png)
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    >I want to play a good character using a race which is normally evil
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:39 No.14130205
         File1299289175.jpg-(61 KB, 750x600, sanlossdemotivational.jpg)
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    >absolutely anything in a CoC campaign
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:39 No.14130206
         File1299289176.jpg-(17 KB, 400x300, OKWithThis.jpg)
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    >A travelling merchant needs help
    >Kobolds have kidnapped the mayor's daughter
    >A tomb is full of traps and skeletons, nothing valuable is found - grave robbers already got there
    >The BBEG is actually your father
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:39 No.14130207
         File1299289176.jpg-(65 KB, 350x330, April 2 Gabo laughing hard2-th(...).jpg)
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    >Does the small village's magic shop have 50 potions of cure light wounds, 20 bless weapon oils, and a cloak of charisma +4
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:40 No.14130212
         File1299289201.jpg-(70 KB, 396x600, 396px-Vinnie_makeup_by_DrMusic(...).jpg)
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    >my dwarf likes beer and uses an ax, also has a scottish accent.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:40 No.14130219
         File1299289232.jpg-(41 KB, 640x480, 1294130861300.jpg)
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    >I roll to disbelieve
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:40 No.14130222
         File1299289245.png-(245 KB, 365x765, 1293073607219.png)
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    >The Pointman rushes at Mach 1 to engage the enemy before the others can even do anything
    >> one-eyed hermit 03/04/11(Fri)20:40 No.14130226
         File1299289250.jpg-(13 KB, 319x238, HAHAHA.jpg)
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    >I'm sure the DM wont kill us
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:41 No.14130231
         File1299289272.jpg-(251 KB, 625x501, winstead_lead.jpg)
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    >Does the shopkeeper has a weapon which is better than mine?
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:41 No.14130233
         File1299289274.jpg-(19 KB, 632x720, frodo.jpg)
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    >I want to make a magic item
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:41 No.14130239
         File1299289299.jpg-(9 KB, 251x190, 1268474493877.jpg)
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    >what's wrong with playing a character of the opposite sex? it's not weird at all.
    >> scaredofshadows !!dfImxwWkJxb 03/04/11(Fri)20:42 No.14130244
         File1299289348.jpg-(229 KB, 517x697, no.jpg)
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    >what's wrong with using phone/laptop at game table?
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:42 No.14130245
    Is it strange that I only want to plunge my manhood into her when she has funny-colored hair?
    >> SUPER AGGRO CRAG !!7x7KzlxQrrH 03/04/11(Fri)20:43 No.14130254
         File1299289385.jpg-(25 KB, 261x284, acheerfultomato.jpg)
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    >can we play an evil campaign?
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:43 No.14130258
         File1299289407.png-(7 KB, 450x414, 1268526675368.png)
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    >I didn't know killing baby goblins would make my paladin fall
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:43 No.14130262
         File1299289423.jpg-(37 KB, 250x314, 1284592441348.jpg)
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    >players see a Shadow in a Space Hulk
    >mfw it was a sleeping Lictor. It is no longer asleep.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:43 No.14130263
         File1299289426.jpg-(14 KB, 193x233, reactionface.jpg)
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    >Sealed underground caverns completely full of a wide variety of very large flora and fauna even without magic or easy surface access supporting the ecosystem
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:43 No.14130265
    >implying it's weird when a decent player does it
    Loser who games with fucktards detected
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:44 No.14130270
         File1299289473.jpg-(32 KB, 848x480, 1290840830533.jpg)
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    >PCs ace the fist few enemies
    >Get Tier 2 technology in three sessions
    >Start building Positron
    >Build to Tier 3
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:45 No.14130276
         File1299289511.jpg-(24 KB, 439x395, Oh you.jpg)
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    >Discussing a plan when your character isn't in the room
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:45 No.14130284

    >homosexual detected
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:46 No.14130286
         File1299289564.jpg-(25 KB, 301x270, 1296165111837.jpg)
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    >It's perfectly ok to crossplay if a "decent" player does it, not at all weird or uncomfortable for the other players
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:46 No.14130298
    > underground environs have no ecosystems
    man what
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:47 No.14130302
         File1299289633.jpg-(27 KB, 412x352, 1298828566572.jpg)
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    >i attempt to dodge the falling boulders
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:47 No.14130307
         File1299289645.jpg-(15 KB, 400x200, 1293704985846.jpg)
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    >but the NPCs should react like...
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:47 No.14130308
         File1299289648.jpg-(20 KB, 560x400, lol.jpg)
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    >How hard could getting this guy be?
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:48 No.14130313
         File1299289699.png-(10 KB, 429x410, what.png)
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    >My character leans against a wall with his arms crossed while you talk to [insert important NPC here]
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:48 No.14130319
         File1299289722.jpg-(175 KB, 535x798, 1259856774243.jpg)
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    >Trespassing and break ins during the day
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:48 No.14130320
         File1299289730.jpg-(76 KB, 800x578, 800px-Black_Chaos_Mage_look_by(...).jpg)
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    >just because i always play a a werewolf doesn't mean I'm a furry you guys
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:48 No.14130322
         File1299289735.png-(163 KB, 600x446, 1283701225095.png)
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    >The Tomb of Horrors can't be THAT bad
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:49 No.14130328
         File1299289773.jpg-(39 KB, 512x288, Rio.jpg)
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    >Ok, I crawl into the green devil's mouth
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:49 No.14130330
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    >my character squints, but says nothing.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:50 No.14130341
    >homophobe detected

    >implying that playing a different-gender character is somehow different from an author writing a different-gender protagonist
    >impling that it should be creepy without the player MAKING it creepy
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:51 No.14130346
         File1299289864.jpg-(21 KB, 460x288, Stop that.jpg)
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    >I speak from the shadows
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:52 No.14130355
         File1299289927.jpg-(153 KB, 600x450, Oscar.jpg)
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    >Okay, I take the +1 sword, and... And...
    >Woah. Look at my hand, maaaan...
    >I can't believe this shit, LOOK AT MY HAAAANAD.
    >Dude. Want some weed, vampire-demon-bro-thing?
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:53 No.14130363
         File1299289982.jpg-(19 KB, 282x297, 351051-XWHQTWT.jpg)
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    >I go away a couple of feet, keeping a watch. Silently.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:54 No.14130372
         File1299290044.jpg-(88 KB, 784x587, ApeReaction.jpg)
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    >My character just wants to be left alone.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:54 No.14130374
         File1299290052.png-(256 KB, 402x261, 1296395200515.png)
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    >I attack him. Haha, just kidding
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:56 No.14130393
         File1299290195.jpg-(15 KB, 284x224, 1297997144333.jpg)
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    >did it drop any gold?
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:56 No.14130398
         File1299290206.jpg-(27 KB, 375x512, BearUrinal.jpg)
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    >Is she hot?
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)20:57 No.14130400
         File1299290239.jpg-(14 KB, 157x169, dont care.jpg)
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    >His back story is that his family was killed by rampaging demons so now he kills every demon he sees
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:00 No.14130417
         File1299290408.jpg-(77 KB, 380x288, Implying.jpg)
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    Implying a gross, and simply untrue, generalization as the truth.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:00 No.14130422
         File1299290428.jpg-(37 KB, 800x600, 1299187142507.jpg)
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    >For this forum/chat roleplay, I´m going to make a mysterious, brooding, dark, loner anti-hero.

    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:01 No.14130426
    >implying you're not an assdamaged stoner
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:01 No.14130427
         File1299290479.png-(13 KB, 398x375, hurr rage.png)
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    >My character sighs/yawns
    >> Foron !!NbubB9jqLRJ 03/04/11(Fri)21:01 No.14130432
         File1299290499.jpg-(40 KB, 400x343, 1267822682785.jpg)
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    >"I am Inquisitor WhatsHisFace, and I have something important for you to do".
    >I punch him.
    >"You what"
    >I punch him.
    >"Roll to hit"
    >Head shot
    >"How much damage?"
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:02 No.14130435
         File1299290524.gif-(1.79 MB, 200x200, 1299244587514.gif)
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    >She hates me because I killed his entire family? I roll Charisma to seduce her.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:04 No.14130456
    "What do you mean I can't seduce her? I rolled a 19, and I have a +12 mod."


    "Yeah but look at that roll son, IT'S BITCHIN"

    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:05 No.14130464
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    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:06 No.14130469
         File1299290785.jpg-(21 KB, 383x340, blunt bang.jpg)
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    >that gif

    My pants just dissipated into nothingness...

    Mother of god.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:06 No.14130470
    >DC over 31

    You're kidding, right? You can seduce eunuchs with a DC 30...
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:06 No.14130473
    >My warforged has a wide range of feelings
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:06 No.14130474
         File1299290813.jpg-(22 KB, 499x358, 1243354200006.jpg)
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    >Here is your reward of 10 golden coins
    >We want 40
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:07 No.14130478
         File1299290832.jpg-(21 KB, 400x350, kill.jpg)
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    ><insert Monthy Python quote here>
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:08 No.14130488
         File1299290894.jpg-(12 KB, 196x226, feelsgoodman.jpg)
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    >implying I am.

    >Played with plenty of people who could easily handle their shit, and play RPGs, Tabletop games, M:tg, etc. >No different to having a few beers/drinks, while playing.
    >Never been a problem.
    >Feels mellow man.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:08 No.14130491
    >implying he isn't a troll or an ignant newfag who doesn't know of the glorious tales of Oscar
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:08 No.14130501
         File1299290939.jpg-(31 KB, 478x344, 1298151039297.jpg)
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    >I cast summon water in his lungs.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:09 No.14130505
         File1299290947.jpg-(100 KB, 1153x784, 1292533607905.jpg)
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    >Can i wear 2 sets of armor
    >"No steve"
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:09 No.14130510
         File1299290974.jpg-(51 KB, 459x488, 1261868756550.jpg)
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    >Hey, let's play DnD
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:11 No.14130522
    >Implying you were wearing pants.

    I've been on the internets, I know the truth.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:11 No.14130526
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    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:11 No.14130528
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    > Player is pointing and screaming 'Natural 20!' like he's discovered fire
    > It's a skill check
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:11 No.14130538
         File1299291103.jpg-(14 KB, 400x300, 1271330156231.jpg)
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    >no relatives
    >no friends
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:12 No.14130542
    >I wanna play a mysterious elf archer.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:12 No.14130546
         File1299291151.jpg-(127 KB, 864x1152, DCP01265.jpg)
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    > I'm playing a bard who dual-wieds whips
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:13 No.14130557

    My money's on newfag. Oscar is legend.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:13 No.14130561
         File1299291206.jpg-(49 KB, 315x480, 1241189894939.jpg)
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    >I'm gonna roll an assassin/death mage
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:13 No.14130563
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    >my motives for playing a character of the opposite sex are perfectly normal, not suspect creepy or weird in any way, you're just narrow minded
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:15 No.14130587
         File1299291354.jpg-(197 KB, 1200x900, 1268901042587.jpg)
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    >If my female character doesn't use completely realistic armor it's not believable, but I'm OK with her wielding a 6 foot greatsword and not having a strength penalty for gender.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:16 No.14130605
         File1299291417.jpg-(124 KB, 500x499, 8e2ff53e202b3eb081fea3627e3603(...).jpg)
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    >... and to the north, Crandasia, marvel city of the world, where untold mysteries await.

    >"ok, we head south"
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:17 No.14130608
    Dude. Oscar ascended to Godhood in one of the old scripts, before creating an entire planet of stoners. And...

    ... Oscar never got any drawfaggotry.



    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:19 No.14130634
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    >My elf will be named Blackwing Moonfang, his family was killed by his brother so now he hunts after him for revenge. Hes a master swordsman and a archer who never misses.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:19 No.14130638
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    > -4str
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:21 No.14130654
         File1299291683.jpg-(42 KB, 600x404, 1294681748879.jpg)
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    >mfw dnd players try to avoid this thread seeing their very own behavior being laughed at
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:21 No.14130656
         File1299291705.gif-(221 KB, 254x135, Mask_Salesman_rage.gif)
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    >you see here a house with an open door

    >i want to go through the window
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:21 No.14130657
    (the funny part about my campaign is that our dwarf is incredibly irritable, doesn't drink, and actually avoids alcohol. and has no beard. (has a more rustic grainy voice)
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:22 No.14130663
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    >I punch Cthulhu in the face.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:22 No.14130668
         File1299291777.jpg-(10 KB, 400x249, No.jpg)
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    >We want to bust *PLAYER* out of prison
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:23 No.14130671

    They want to play *fantasy* heroes in an epic setting and not necessarily have said heroes stupidly sexualized while doing it, retard.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:24 No.14130681
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    >psh I can fucking do whatever I want, i'm level 19. it's not like the fucking town guards and even scratch me.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:24 No.14130685
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    >I drive the steamboat through Cthulhu.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:25 No.14130687
         File1299291904.jpg-(58 KB, 426x426, Bear.jpg)
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    > You've been captured and all your gear is missing
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:25 No.14130689
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    >I pull out my katana
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:25 No.14130692
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    >I want to pickpocket the king. hes got good stuff right?
    >> Inconspicuous Steve !!Yxt3tGtGN/W 03/04/11(Fri)21:25 No.14130698
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    >The same three players in the 2edition group always have at least two stats of 18 at level one.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:26 No.14130701
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    >But I rolled a 20!
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:26 No.14130704
    and all this time i was unaware prisons usually let you kept your armaments
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:27 No.14130713
         File1299292021.jpg-(81 KB, 507x536, i dont.jpg)
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    >I wanna play a knight
    >"Okay, ju-
    >Who uses a katana
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:28 No.14130729
    Hands off Ramona
    >> klytus 03/04/11(Fri)21:28 No.14130732
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    >can my dwarf be Chinese and racist?
    >sure thing.
    >plays the entire game saying "chingchong bingbong" after every sentence.
    >our faces
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:28 No.14130733
         File1299292115.jpg-(59 KB, 432x561, beverage.jpg)
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    >my character has a dark history, filled with sadness, despair, and pain. He fights now so he can feel something in this bleak, depressing world
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:28 No.14130735
         File1299292117.jpg-(14 KB, 355x316, I don't even.jpg)
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    >I rolled a twenty on a skillcheck so that means I suddenly got super strength to climb up lighting fast
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:28 No.14130737
    its called a samuri
    >> Inconspicuous Steve !!Yxt3tGtGN/W 03/04/11(Fri)21:28 No.14130739
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    >I'll be playing a half-drow raised by kenders
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:29 No.14130743
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    Every shop ever

    >"I roll to steal"
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:29 No.14130746
    >> Foron !!NbubB9jqLRJ 03/04/11(Fri)21:29 No.14130749
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    >What happend when I was out of the room?
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:30 No.14130752

    there is a girl in my 2e group who dual wields katanas. Her fighter kit is cavalier, not samurai
    >> Inconspicuous Steve !!Yxt3tGtGN/W 03/04/11(Fri)21:30 No.14130753
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    >its called a samuri
    No such thing, friend
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:30 No.14130756
    >I attack the darkness!
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:31 No.14130764
    Its called out of place in a European setting.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:31 No.14130768
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    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:32 No.14130772
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    >player rolls a paladin and tries intimidate on every npc

    >next campaign player rolls a barbarian and tries diplomacy

    and no, he wasn't trying to break the mold or anything
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:32 No.14130781
         File1299292358.jpg-(34 KB, 466x383, Gonna Rape You.jpg)
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    I don't know what your original reaction pic was gonna be. It's this now
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:33 No.14130796
    The problem is that being captured and stripped is usually less avconsequence of player action and more the tool of an amateur DM.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:33 No.14130798
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    >common fantasy trope or cliche
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:35 No.14130807
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    >Let's trust this shady NPC 100%, questions are for losers! What the hell DM, you're so mean! Why would he set us up?
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:35 No.14130808
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    >mfw it's relatively easy fluffwise to have Oriental-themed characters of any sort in the European-ish regions of Pathfinder's setting
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:35 No.14130815
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    >plays a werewolf bard who backstory is that she (male player) was a sex slave for most of her teenage years.
    >"honest, guys, I'm totally not just playing my furry mary sue fantasy."
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:37 No.14130826
    Especially when you are a monk (unless they take your fists... that is a problem)
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:37 No.14130829
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    Here's the better version
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:37 No.14130831
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    >hey, [GM name], how long is this talking going to last?
    >> Naggarothian !!0S4L3hs2lkr 03/04/11(Fri)21:37 No.14130837
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    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:38 No.14130843
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    >The guards look at you with suspicion

    >I shoot him in the face
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:40 No.14130861
    por favor
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:40 No.14130863
    >"You are taken before, Gallstaff, King of the High Elf Nation and one of the most accomplished mages in all the land."
    >"I draw my blade!"
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:40 No.14130869
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    >I roll diplomacy to seduce her.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:40 No.14130870
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    >Watch a "Pimp my Ride Marathon"
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:43 No.14130902
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    >*Player scribbles something and passes around to the rest of the group*
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:44 No.14130907
    this one is manditory, its like an asian with a southern accent is lazy and spends his spare time drinking mango juice
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:44 No.14130920
    >"Alright, so you're standing at a great stone door..."
    >"ah shit, I don't have my character sheet."
    >"-sigh-... you don't live far away. Go get it."
    >hour passes
    >"found it!"
    >"Hey, we're just watching this youtube video of a cat singing the alphabet."
    >"Oh man, if you think that's cool you gotta see this other video..."
    >6 hours pass
    >"Alright, so you're standing at a great stone door..."
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:45 No.14130931
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    >Before meeting up with the party, I murder a small black family
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:46 No.14130943
    ...Is this a regular problem in your games?
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:46 No.14130948
    or worse
    >dm writes on piece of paper, and they go back and forth, like this nearly the whole game
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:47 No.14130956

    rio yangawa.

    /rs/ it.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:47 No.14130960
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    >Quickened spell doesn't work that way, you don't automatically get the ability to do another spell as a free action from it.
    >WHAT? You're nerfing my wizard!
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:48 No.14130963
    No, it only happened once. with a new player.

    next time I stat up a black family and kick his ass.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:48 No.14130968
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    >We should split up
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:49 No.14130980
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:50 No.14130993

    actually i fucking hate scottish dwarves. it made me walk out of the LotR movies. They should be scandinavian/germanic, but they sound fucking cool in fake russian.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:51 No.14130999
    >King gives us a simple quest to take out a bandit who's been terrorizing farmers
    >2 hours later we're leading a violent coup against the king who hired us.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:52 No.14131012

    I'm playing Dark Heresy. The dude's not wearing a helmet.

    Why the fuck not?
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:52 No.14131018
    >Walk out of the movie because of Gimli's accent

    Please tell me you're trolling me
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:53 No.14131021
    > >homophobe detected
    So you admit it's gay.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:53 No.14131023

    >> Axel the Possum 03/04/11(Fri)21:53 No.14131030
    >"You find the artifact of great power."
    >"I kill the other party members and bind their souls as my servants."

    This happens surprisingly often...


    >LG player sees an innocent man brutally murdered
    >"I loot the body!"
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:55 No.14131036
    Scandinavian dorfs are actually just elfs
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:55 No.14131037
    Thank you, video games.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:55 No.14131041
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    >"She has her back turned"

    >"Okay I go to-"

    >"No, Just...no you don't get to do that"
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:56 No.14131050
    >"I loot the body!"

    well this happens anywhere anytime in all the campaigns I've seen. They don't even look at the surroundings before it's looted.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)21:59 No.14131072
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    >I'm playing a paladin. I want him to fall and become a blackguard, okay?
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:00 No.14131080
    Rogue: I tell the guard that we're hear to help.
    DM: Roll bluff.
    Rogue: It's not a bluff, I'm telling the truth.
    DM: Alright, he lowers his sword, thanks you and points out the fires in the distance. He says-
    Rogue: As soon as his back is turned I stab him.
    DM: But then you really were lying and needed to roll bluff.
    Rogue: Nope, my character was telling the truth when he said that, he just changed his mind.

    From then on we had no way of telling if we were being lied to, because the NPCs would just "change their mind" instead of lying, making sense motive largely useless.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:01 No.14131093
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    My next campaign: all dwarfs are Quebecois. That's right.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:01 No.14131096

    not trolling, but not giving you the whole story.

    you have no idea how much of a huge deal it was supposed to be in new zealand... everyone gushed and gooed over a book they never read because it was being filmed here. when i saw it and it was fucking average (to silly) i got fed up and left. Still haven't seen the second two and i don't fucking plan to.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:01 No.14131101
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    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:02 No.14131108
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    >How are you guys carrying all this equipment and gold?
    >We have a Dwarf.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:02 No.14131111

    the words dwarf and elf are interchangeable in the epics.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:03 No.14131113
    I've actually had my paladin become a blackguard naturally more than once.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:03 No.14131118
    So not a troll, just a dirty communist.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:04 No.14131125
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    >We'd like to go over the details of our in-game wedding between our characters. You'll be devoting an entire session to the ceremony, right?
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:05 No.14131138
    >3 players says "I check for traps."
    >"You find nothing" all three times.
    >Next room
    >I check for traps.
    >Repeat for the entire dungeon.

    As a note, the DM isn't even a kill em all type, he tends to go a bit too easy on us even.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:05 No.14131139
    Well I am DMing at the moment and I usually try not to do that, except when we play more horror/mindfuckery games. But the thing is, with the bunch of chucklefucks I game with each time they do this I know the campaign is going to be derailed. They don't do it often maybe once or twice a campaign, but fuck is it roller coaster when they do it. Not complaining, the guys are great fun and were all best buds.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:09 No.14131180
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    >Hey guys I have a new campaign all ready, I based it off my favorite anime/manga.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:11 No.14131194
    >Don't worry guys, I read the module already.

    I wasn't even the DM and I wanted to beat his head in.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:12 No.14131210
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    >My character wields a Large-size fullblade.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:13 No.14131218
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    >GM: You encounter a drow warrior.

    >>"Does he have violet eyes and two scimitars?"
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:14 No.14131239

    commie? what was that i didn't even...

    don't get me wrong, for all that the books were racist luddite arse i liked them. and my country, for all that it's a tiny isolated nowhere can be kinda awesome.

    it's just that LotR was actually crap. here begineth the greivances:
    - scottish dwarves
    - Strider looked like trailer trash in rehab
    - Galadriel was ugly and what was with the screaming?
    - Sauron's face?!
    - 3 hours of Frodo having exactly one expression (which would have been fine in the second two books).
    - bitter elrond (plus i kept thinking of him as agent smith)
    - rivendell looked like it was ripped from bladurs gate

    i was just expecting something else really.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:18 No.14131273
    > Galadriel was ugly


    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:18 No.14131276
    Ouch, dude. Just... ouch.

    >What do you mean I can't pick locks if I don't have the skill?
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:20 No.14131292
    She actually did not do it for me either. Her face is just all weird.
    Could also have to do with my taste for buxom women.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:21 No.14131299
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    kate blanchett is awful. still not trolling.
    >> Naggarothian !!0S4L3hs2lkr 03/04/11(Fri)22:22 No.14131312
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    Now that's just asking for the BBEG to strike during the wedding.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:22 No.14131314
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    >My character has long, flowing white hair
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:24 No.14131339
    I feel you man. Forget the Americans, those movies were not at all what I was looking for either.

    Basically, what bugged me the most about it was that it made me come to a sobering realization. They took LotR and influenced it with all of the mainstream fantasy spawned from D&D of the past 15-20 years, which was originally derived from LotR. It finally proved to me that everything is cyclical, and each rotation just mixes in more shit.
    >> SUPER AGGRO CRAG !!7x7KzlxQrrH 03/04/11(Fri)22:24 No.14131342
    What if they are really old?
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:27 No.14131366
    what the fucking fuck
    >> kiwigrognard 03/04/11(Fri)22:29 No.14131400
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    so not ronery! I was wanting saxon epicry, a-la Excalibur, but all it was was bladur's gate: the movie.

    Also, while I'm being a fucking grognard, my heart broke when it was revelaled that not only the genetic stock of the storm troopers but Boba Fett were space maoris.

    >Diread Inadequate
    so very inadequate.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:29 No.14131405
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:29 No.14131410
    >implying Lotr was bad
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:32 No.14131432
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    I should have added the whole part, I wanted to spare you:

    >My character has long, flowing white hair which he inherited from his natural parents, whom he doesn't know, but has now decided to leave and search for them at the age of 18. Oh and he has purple eyes.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:32 No.14131434
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    >I'm playing a human female monk. She wears all black with a black long coat. Her name is Neo Trinity.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:32 No.14131436
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    >We're going to deviate from DnD for the next game.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:32 No.14131441
    It wasn't maori, it was Mandalorian
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:34 No.14131451
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    Oh god! These are hilarious.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:35 No.14131461
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    "i dont want to kidnap her, its against my morals"
    >were playing rogue trader, were all renegades and criminals
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:36 No.14131472
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    >... and the system we're using is FATAL.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:36 No.14131473
    Playing WFRP as a Knight Errant, I charged with my lance in the first combat we did, and got a headshot. Ulric's Fury struck and I did 33 damage to the face with a lance. It's not entirely related to this thread, but it's such a proud moment of my gamng career that I bring it up at every opportunity.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:38 No.14131491
    ...I got one of those in my chronicle...

    "Dude ok so I put all my useful points in Death...i want to raise zombies. ZOMBIE ARMY!!!"
    >> Alpharius 03/04/11(Fri)22:39 No.14131504
    Source on that image?

    I see that girl in reactions all over the place.
    >> Alpharius 03/04/11(Fri)22:43 No.14131529
    Most stormtroopers were recruits by the time of the Classic Trilogy.

    Or at least cloned from so many different sources it didn't matter.
    >> Alpharius 03/04/11(Fri)22:44 No.14131541
    Sauron never had a visible face...
    >> kiwigrognard 03/04/11(Fri)22:46 No.14131556
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    three hours of that face implies bad, but bad does not imply three hours of that face
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)22:54 No.14131627
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    mfw you realise there is more than one maori.
    >> Naggarothian !!0S4L3hs2lkr 03/04/11(Fri)23:14 No.14131799
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    >I rolled up a destructive barbarian with 18 STR, 16 CON and a greataxe!
    >I'm going to go chaotic good for the most of the time while unleashing my inner chaotic stupid every once in a while!
    >WHAT?!?!!?? POLITICAL INTRIGUE?!?!?!?
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)23:14 No.14131802
    >>All dwarves, if not outright alcoholics, are great aficionados of beer, ale, and spirits

    >Furthermore, they produce master brewers and distillers, to the point where the appellation "dwarven" when used for ale beer or spirits implies the highest quality and/or greatest potency

    >>Dwarves live in communities deep underground, where hops and barley cannot grow
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)23:17 No.14131836
    i think you underestimate the ingenuity and craftsmanship of dwarfs
    especially ones who have gone a damned long time without a brew
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)23:20 No.14131859
    I know I shouldn't mimic it too much, but Minsc fit that role perfectly with his whole "butt-kicking for goodness!" thing.
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)23:24 No.14131914
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    >>Alright, this'll be a politics an intrigue based game
    >>only one person rolls a political/social character
    >>other players complain they get too much face time
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)23:27 No.14131948
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    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)23:47 No.14132158
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    >>the mental player is the only one who read up about the setting and rules for combat
    >>drives a car through the first combat encounter because it uses mental-based stats in the setting, does more damage then the rest of the party combined because the picked about the worst place possible to start a fight
    >>Reminds them the next session that he doesn't play fair, he brings trucks to knife fights
    >> Anonymous 03/04/11(Fri)23:49 No.14132181
    >suck my plump helmet
    >> Alpharius 03/04/11(Fri)23:51 No.14132190
    That is exactly how it works though.
    It allows you to to a quickened spell and then separately a regular spell in one turn.
    There is a reason why the spell level increase for that one is so high.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)00:01 No.14132293
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    >I sneak behind those two and eavesdrop on their conversation
    >conversation ends
    >inn across town gets attacked
    >actually I was all the way back at the inn sleeping
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)00:17 No.14132461
    Temuera Morrison did a great job as Jango
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)00:22 No.14132525
    Not implying it was bad, but outright stating it wasn't what it should've been.

    As far as movies go, it was the best thing in the theatres for years. The only other movie of any consquence I remember after it was The Dark Knight.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)00:28 No.14132579
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    >what do you mean our first combat ever didn't give us magical items? We just killed a bunch of level 1 warrior bandits! You said the leader was even wearing some jewelry, and it's NOT magical?! DM sux man!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)00:32 No.14132612

    >- Strider looked like trailer trash in rehab

    I have heard this complaint several times, from several sources. What the fuck? He's a *ranger*. He lives off the land between towns most of the time. Bathing and personal hygiene are probably two of the lowest priorities he has.

    >- bitter elrond

    ...s'wrong with Elrond being upset by people being fractious twats?

    >(plus i kept thinking of him as agent smith)

    ...that is a bad reason and you should feel bad.

    I like how the completely pointless addition of Arwen didn't even register in your list of complaints somehow. There were several reasons LotR was not the greatest work of cinema ever made (spoilers: it has to do with LotR not being the greatest work of literature ever made, for one), and all of yours are painfully childish and irrelevant. Congratulations.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)00:33 No.14132620
    To be fair, I can't really see the leader of a group of bandits keeping some non-magical jewellery instead of selling it off.

    >Plot: tortart
    That... does not sound like a campaign I want to play in. Sorry, captcha.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)00:38 No.14132660
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    >I roll for my character to solve the riddle.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)00:47 No.14132727
    > Arwen
    > Pointless
    >> Alpharius 03/05/11(Sat)00:53 No.14132786
    Because bandit leaders are incapable of wanting to wear nice things as a status symbols, right?
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)00:54 No.14132799
    Not when the only purpose of those nice things is to give all the guys working underneath him a solid reason to cut his throat in the night.

    Seriously. It makes no damned sense.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)00:54 No.14132800

    If he's complaining about scottish dwarves, I don't really see how Arwen is somehow better.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)00:57 No.14132841
    >everyone has possessions so they'd all kill each other instantly for them
    Seriously, they have like swords and armor too, those are worth money
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:01 No.14132886

    Fuck a decent sword is probably worth more then some cheap ass piece of copper jewelry.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:02 No.14132904

    It is, in fact, in DnD, just as it was in the real world.
    >> Alpharius 03/05/11(Sat)01:02 No.14132908
    You can't imagine any possible setting in which a bandit leader could have nice things. Also, all bandit groups turn on themselves and slit each other's throats at the drop of a hat. "Chief's got a nice ear ring, Imma slit his throat and take it tonight. Best plan ever." is how all bandit groups think, no exceptions?
    It could never, ever happen in any conceivable setting or circumstance. No bandit leader could possibly wear status symbols unless he was irrational.
    Really? That's how limited your view of possible occurrences in fantasy worlds is? No DM could possibly be justified in having the party find some mundane rings or something on a bandit leader?
    Unless you take that hard line of a view on this, then a DM could reasonably include that in a game.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:03 No.14132927
    Those are also useful, and funnily enough, tend not to make other people want to fight you. Plus, of course, it's a bit different slitting someone's throat for some small, light, easily concealed/carried valuables than it is slitting said individuals throat for some bulky objects of (usually, depending on quality) lesser value. Plus, of course, wearing armour and weapons is kinda important to allow bandits to function, since unless they are actually monks of a god of thieves, or really broke casters, most bandits need weapons/armour. Useless jewellery, less so.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:04 No.14132933
    Your one of those fags who gets pissed off when plate armor doesn't look exactly like it does in real life, aren't you?
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:04 No.14132937

    Also, this predicates that bandit NPCs don't behave in a human way.

    Only LOLSORANDUM CE people would behave in the way he described.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:05 No.14132946
    >Those are also useful, and funnily enough, tend not to make other people want to fight you.
    >Not when the only purpose of those nice things is to give all the guys working underneath him a solid reason to cut his throat in the night.
    >cut his throat in the night

    >it's a bit different slitting someone's throat for some small, light, easily concealed/carried valuables
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:06 No.14132949

    I can think of a good reason for bandits to wear jewelry.


    These are PEOPLE in your campaign world, not just mindless automatons for your PCs to overcome. It makes sense for them to have jewelry in some cases, and it wouldn't in others.

    It depends on the bandit.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:07 No.14132963
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    >Only LOLSORANDUM CE people would behave in the way he described.
    I read this in his voice.
    >The bandits move single-file, to hide their numbers
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:08 No.14132980

    In fact, it gets even sillier because he's the BANDIT LEADER in the first place.

    Why is he the leader if not for the reason that they're following him? Are they so poor that they'd kill for a shitty gold ring, when he could lead them to greater riches?
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:10 No.14133000
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    >Not when the only purpose of those nice things is to give all the guys working underneath him a solid reason to cut his throat in the night.

    >Seriously. It makes no damned sense.
    Because that's how it works in real life am I right? Pic Related Oh wait-
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:11 No.14133007
    There are very few reasons to be a bandit EXCEPT if you're absolutely dirt poor and desperate. Even more so in D&D, when you have to contend with all variety of supernatural fuckery and magical beasts in any place that could possibly be considered a decent bandit hideout.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:13 No.14133033
    ITT: Every piece of jewelry is the One Ring, and every bandit is Gollum.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:14 No.14133036
    If I'm not mistaken, bandits are specifically desperate individuals who kill people for their posessions then disappear into the night.

    Wait a minute...
    >> Alpharius 03/05/11(Sat)01:14 No.14133040
    One thing I've wondered about DND.
    Are gem-free rings and necklaces relatively cheap?
    PCs throw around of gold around like it is water.
    A gold ring is just the cost of the gold needed to make it plus labor. A good craftsman makes a few gold a week in profit, so labor is dirt-cheap as far as a PC is concerned.
    So would a gold ring just be a few gold in cost? Could you bling out a pimp-bard for just a fist full of gold coins?
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:14 No.14133042

    Robin Hood says fuck that and fuck you.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:15 No.14133046
    That's an awesome mental picture. If only you weren't being sarcastic.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:15 No.14133049

    Cheap to the PCs, not to the general populace.

    So yeah, pimp Bard.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:16 No.14133061
    Yes, because we all know that bandit henchmen are perfectly logical individuals with long-term goals in which they carefully consider the benefits of all possible courses of action, and of course never act for short-term gain at the expense of a leader they may or may not actually like following.

    Meanwhile, Bandit Leaders are all bling-loving individuals who rise to their position by not considering the nature of their underlings, and ignoring their greedy nature in order to best dazzle targets with their shinies.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:17 No.14133070
    Robin Hood didn't have to deal with Ankhegs popping out under his tent, Banshees swooping around at night, and all variety of dire-woodland animal making off with Friar Tuck.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:19 No.14133088
    "Ho there, good monk! Could I trouble you for a bite of your chicken?"
    "Good day, my son, and no, fight your own dire-chicken!"
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:19 No.14133094

    Of course not!

    All bandit henchmen are completely illogical individuals with no long-term goals who act on impulse at the expense of a leader they may or may not actually like following.

    And by definition Bandit Leaders are all sensible individuals who rise to their position with their keen understanding of human psychology, and ignoring their greedy nature in order to best dazzle targets with their shinies.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:20 No.14133105

    What? Yes he did.

    Have you actually READ Robin Hood? Fucking Gryphons, everywhere.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:22 No.14133114
    The kind of organization that you're attempting to refer to are very rarely bandits, but more likely a variety of mafia, "thieves guild", or private mercenary band. Bandits are, 90% of the time, just peasants with no other option. They act out of desperation - and lets face it, in order to want to kill someone just for the posessions on their person you have to be pretty desperate.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:25 No.14133137
    .... Pretty sure you're mistaken there. I have read Robin Hood. Sherwood forest isn't a super magical fairy wonderland. It's a forest. What story are you thinking of?
    >> Alpharius 03/05/11(Sat)01:25 No.14133147
    Either exactly zero egotistical bling loving bandit leaders could possibly exist, or it is reasonable for the PCs to run across one.
    Of course, most aren't fabulous. But one could be.
    And no, bandits probably aren't stupid enough to kill their strong man leader and destroy the cohesiveness of the group over some cheap shit he put on his fingers. Hell, the DM could decide that a particular group of bandits are living quite well off their ill gotten gains and no individual bandit would have any meaningful financial incentive to slit their leader's throat over a ring. You could have starving, desperate bandits. You could have bandits who are far more wealthy than the average peasant thanks to robbing a few traveling merchants. Either could possibly exist given the setting and what the DM arbitrarily feels like making them.
    Let's not assume that chaotic stupid is the default alignment for all bandits and that all are blood crazed murders who turn on each other all the time for little reason other than "I want that silver ring and that gold chain my boss wears".
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:26 No.14133155
    >All bandit henchmen are completely illogical individuals with no long-term goals who act on impulse at the expense of a leader they may or may not actually like following.

    That's why they're bandits, instead of doing a job that a) has prospects and b) doesn't get you face-raped by adventurers.

    >And by definition Bandit Leaders... keen understanding of human psychology... ignoring their greedy nature...
    So, they have a keen understanding of human psychology, but choose to ignore it? Hmmm...
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:27 No.14133164
    Because some bandits don't stalk roads, ambushing people and caravans, threatening people in order to coerce them into handing their shit over, right?
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:29 No.14133179
    When wondering whether they're going to eat this week, or whether they're going to survive their next waylay, all the while knowing it's only a matter of time before a hunting party from the law enforcement is going to be sent after them, yes. They're thinking of short term goals. In order to kill somone just for the posessions on their body, they've gotta be pretty desperate. The risk:reward ratio is not even slightly in their favour.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:33 No.14133218
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    >I'll gladly give you this spare key to The High School, if you'll help me read at night by bringing me a candle-
    Oh, that doesn't sound so bad...
    >-like the one on The Wax King's head.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:34 No.14133227
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    >Bandits, thieves, and pirates
    >Implying they don't like to wear jewelry to show off
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:36 No.14133248

    Of course some Bandits don't do that; the successful ones tend to simply open investment banks.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:44 No.14133321
    Thieves and pirates? Sure. Bandits? No. Thieves encompasses just about everything. Pirates have the infrastructure and organization required for long-term cooperation (notably that they can't steal shit then escape, and that they all serve a purpose aboard the ship and thus have a reason to work together instead of alone).
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:48 No.14133358
    Dude. What would happen if you tried to brew alchohol from marajuana?

    Would the THC break down, or would it be integrated into the alchoholic liquid?
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:49 No.14133365
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    >person in group is playing a hispanic character
    >never really comes up in game
    >everyone rerolls
    >make a hispanic character myself
    >third npc we meet next session calls me a spic
    >"make a frenzy check, difficulty 10"
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:51 No.14133373
    This entire argument makes me wonder what exactly said Bandits would do with waylaid riches. It's feasible that they got in to Banditry by being forced out of their homes and having to steal to live. The need for organization implies that they can't do it alone. As such, a leader would naturally be needed, and that leader would need status symbols.

    Also you have to think about what the Bandits THEMSELVES consider useful. Kill your boss for a few useless copper rings? Why? Kill your buddy for the bushel of apples he stole, or the furs he's keeping warm with? HELL YES!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:52 No.14133386
    HAH! I just got Don't Rest Your Head a week ago!

    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:54 No.14133402
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    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:55 No.14133410
    Bandit 1: Hey man, this dude had a pretty cool ring. I think I'm gonna keep it.

    Bandit 2: Go for it bro, I'll take his dagger and we can sell the rest.

    Bandit 1: Awesome, then it's ale and wenches time!

    Then they brofist and go party
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)01:58 No.14133437
    >Bandit 2: Hey wait, we're bandits, who the fuck are we going to sell all this shit to, or travel to a place where we won't be automatically recognized as thieving filth?
    >> Soth !!knPhGLZt6gr 03/05/11(Sat)02:00 No.14133446
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    >playing poorman campaign

    pic related, its me when they asked
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:01 No.14133460
    Did they rob a guy for some jewelry, and then immediately turn on each other to acquire each others' wealth?
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:04 No.14133475
    >who the fuck are we going to sell all this shit to
    Some kind of underworld fence or pawn broker? The kind of people who don't really give a fuck where something comes from, just like real life?
    >travel to a place where we won't be automatically recognized as thieving filth?
    "Any city, anywhere, ever"?
    >> Soth !!knPhGLZt6gr 03/05/11(Sat)02:04 No.14133477
    no, lol
    but a farmer they did a low level quest for gave them a cow for payment because he couldnt aford to give them anything else
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:05 No.14133484
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    ITT butthurt stoners
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:06 No.14133494
    Cows are pretty expensive. This could be an educational opportunity to teach them how much goes into a cow, whether it's used for milk or meat.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:08 No.14133509

    I suppose that would mostly be a location thing. I imagine most bandits to be in a rural location, farmers and other peasantry ousted by the local royalty, constabulary, or taxes and tarrifs. I might be giving them too much credit for intelligence though, because the second thing I thought after that was "Oh no, the ale and wenches are gone, now what?"
    >> Alpharius 03/05/11(Sat)02:11 No.14133522
    You could have one member of a bandit group who's job is to trade with towns.
    Unless they steal all the food, clothing and equipment needed to survive, then they'll need to do some trading.
    But they can't just trade like normal people because most settings have a 'kill on sight' approach to criminal justice.
    If just one bandit would act as a merchant and of course keep his bandit sources a big secret, it could work out. There would be some risk for detection though.
    I think these kinds of logistical problems aren't supposed to be thought about. Kind of like "why do these unthinking beasts have treasure in the back of their cave" isn't supposed to be questioned.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:11 No.14133525
    Bandits exist / existed IRL, so I suspect they had SOME method to their madness.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:12 No.14133530
    >Kind of like "why do these unthinking beasts have treasure in the back of their cave"
    "Dead adventurers", at the very least. The AD&D monster manual had Treasure Types for a reason.
    >> Soth !!knPhGLZt6gr 03/05/11(Sat)02:14 No.14133543
    yeah i know, they didnt like that I gave it to them, and sold it in a near by village for WAY underprice because they were tools
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:16 No.14133552
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    >Entire party goes Chaotic Neutral or Chaotic Evil
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:20 No.14133569
    It's hard to set expectations and standards when they don't know what to do. For them, it was probably just a cow - they didn't think about how hard it is to raise one, and how much wealth it represents to a peasant. For the average adventurer (or first-worlder) cows are something that happen to other people.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:20 No.14133575
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    >Let's steal these dead guy's clothes and try to sneak past their compatriots!
    >> Alpharius 03/05/11(Sat)02:24 No.14133594
    Did you role play the people buying it as being all excited that they were getting a whole cow cheap?

    >Oh, shit son! This'll give my children milk every day for years to come! They won't be stunted like my firstborn. When it goes dry we can eat meat for days on end! I've never been able to do that before. Maybe we could even breed it and sell the calves! But I don't want to get ahead of myself in excitement. You people are truly saints for letting this go so cheap to us. This would cost multiple gold coins at the market. Few have held such wealth in coin all at once.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:26 No.14133610
    To be fair, you gotta wonder where the fuck these adventurer's are getting shit from.

    Magic items (at least in the 3.x system, never been interested enough in D&D to work further back) were considerably expensive and required gold to be made. It wasn't like the people using the fucking things had money to pay for them so there was obviously no market to make them for. One has to wonder who exactly started making these weapons, where they got the resources to do so and why they did as such. I mean, after all, anything beyond a +1 weapon is functionally worthless. All you can use it for is... other magic items. Because no one has the money to buy your +3 axe. Even if they did, they wouldn't, because the +2 lance over there is a fraction of the cost and almost as good for any purpose but "adventuring".

    Bottom-line or highly specialized magical items have some legitimacy as an extremely wealthy army might have had quite a few commissioned for a task force or some shit, but definitely nothing higher up.

    So even if you say "Adventurers died and left them", that explanation only goes so far back. They had to come from somewhere. Where the fuck did they come from?
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:27 No.14133615
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    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:28 No.14133624
    What the fuck are adventurers going to do with a cow?
    >Ok, it's time to go into the goblin camp and kill some fuckers.
    >Sure, but, what are we going to do with Bessy?
    >... Hurmmmm...

    >Did you role play the people buying it as being all excited that they were getting a whole cow cheap?

    Yes, because acting excited instead of just going "erm, yes, that is a good and fair price for us both, thank you have a nice day" would be a great idea.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:29 No.14133625
    In AD&D at least it was assumed that even NPC soldiers would have magic gear - a competent sergeant would have +2 armor, a captain for a whole unit would have +3, etcetera, so it's not that far-fetched.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:30 No.14133633
    >What the fuck are adventurers going to do with a cow?
    Cast Regenerate, Enjoy Delicious Burgers Every Day.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:32 No.14133650
    Did AD&D use material wealth in the creation of magic items?

    If so, the same situation still applies. One has to wonder where, exactly, the material wealth originally came from. It didn't just come out of thin air. Someone provided it. Again, it's not unrealistic to believe that some lower magic items would be around here and there, but the higher you get the more and more silly the idea of "other people left it" gets.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:32 No.14133654
    Even without that, at one point, far enough back, you'd have powerful adventurers realizing they could craft weapons and armor stronger than any other, and with the boost it gives to them, it'd be worth it.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:33 No.14133656
    Of course, by sergeants and captains he means high level classed fighters.
    >> Alpharius 03/05/11(Sat)02:33 No.14133658
    >Where the fuck did they come from?
    Wizards did it.

    But yeah, magic items should be rare as all hell. They cost multiple times the total lifetime earnings for the average person. They require at least a midlevel spellcaster to make them (and those should be rare too in most settings).
    I guess kings could commission them. Adventurers could too.
    Why people store them in chests in the back of cave systems and old abandoned whatevers, I don't know.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:34 No.14133669
    in AD&D magic items are inexpensive to create in monetary terms, but the reverse principle applies; you typically have to sacrifice a point of Constitution per permanent item, so there's no point for all the low tier magic items to exist.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:35 No.14133671
    Right, but they're still not PCs.

    The idea of fantasy generally seems to be that "the setting is medieval / low-magic except where the PCs are involved, at which point it's high-powered crazy shit". See also every setting where the town guards have leather jerkins and a spear while the PCs walk past carrying swords made of dragonbone and armor made of bateezu carcass anointed with angel tears.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:36 No.14133680
    >So even if you say "Adventurers died and left them", that explanation only goes so far back. They had to come from somewhere. Where the fuck did they come from?

    Powerful ruler of large (possibly evil) empire orders subordinate casters to create magic items to give their elite bodyguards advantages, powerful church pays for the creation of magical stuff to equip their crusading warriors, powerful nobles pay to have family items enchanted (best part of being at the top of the feudalism ladder, you have a /shitload/ more money than the people near the bottom), whether in cash or in "services rendered" (Read: hands over criminals, poor people, etc for experiments), etc etc etc. Over time, shit just builds up.

    After all, one nice part of magical weapons is they don't exactly break and shit a lot.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:36 No.14133682
    Exactly. You get far enough back to anything in D&D and you just have to say "Wizards did it". Some shit is there because it makes the game fun, not because it makes sense. Treasure in the back of caves is no exception.

    And you still have to wonder where exactly these adventurers got the wealth from, considering you would be hard pressed to find someone willing to give you 1,000+ GP to make a magic sword. Or for any kind of quest, or anything, really. One also wonders how exactly they managed to get so strong, considering that without magical equipment they would be very likely to die by the time they would have the wealth or knowledge necessary to pioneer an entire field of magic.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:38 No.14133699
         File1299310727.gif-(1.39 MB, 352x200, 1291477266927.gif)
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    >I have to shoot all of these gongs. They may come to life.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:39 No.14133703
    But where did they come from BEFORE that? Someone started making the first weapons, and someone probably made more than just one or two of them. So where did THAT person get the money?

    Once the system picks up steam I can accept it, but the idea is that it's difficult (at best) to explain how the number originally exceeded zero. Because it makes a lot more sense to hire a dozen people equipped in simple armor with simple weapons on any kind of reasonable scale.

    That is quite reasonable, then.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:40 No.14133708

    At that point you're probably dealing with Noblemen adventurers/barbarian kings, Dragon slayers, etc.

    People who are either independently wealthy, or who target creatures that horde kingdoms worth of gold and treasures.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:42 No.14133720
    Also, they get so strong by fighting slightly weaker monsters and/or by overleveling.

    Sure, a lvl 10 back then doesn't fight the same things as a lvl 10 today, but the lvl 10 today has better gear, while back then he just had mundane equipment, and manly grit.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:42 No.14133723
    it's from Ore no Imouto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai (My Little Sister Can't Be This Cute).
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:44 No.14133738
    Some god gives their chosen warrior some kind of fancy shiny weapon, possibly that eats the souls of their dead foes or w/e, chosen warrior proceeds to rape everything, some caster thinks "hey, I could probably make something like this," one of the casters that tries manages it (probably a dragon. They'd be looking to get as much awesome shiny stuff as they could. Other than that, some dwarf with their runes or something like that), possibly sets themselves up as the head of a religion with a weapon "bestowed by the heavens, like that other guy *Cough, cough*," gets rich, others think "Hey, this is a good idea." Idea takes off.

    >Captcha: eshera 1987;
    The first one was apparently made by someone called Eshera in 1987. Presumably not our calander system.
    >> Alpharius 03/05/11(Sat)02:48 No.14133764
    >But where did they come from BEFORE that? Someone started making the first weapons, and someone probably made more than just one or two of them. So where did THAT person get the money?
    Emperors. Ancient epic heroes. Divine gifts from extraplanar being or gods.
    Perhaps your 'modern' hero has the attitude of 'yeah, this sword is alright, it is enchanted to hit enemies more easily and bursts into flames when I hit someone with it' but an ancient hero from back before that was common would have thought 'THIS SWORD WAS GIFTED TO ME BY THE FORGE GOD HIMSELF! LESSER BLADES CHIP AND SHATTER BEFORE IT! LET HIS HOLY FLAME CLEANS THE UNWORTHY!" You could fluff it as that.

    Of course, this is all ignoring that older=far superior in most fantasy settings. So the 'modern' fantasy characters are jizzing themselves when the find a 2,000 year old whatever because apparently no technological or magical progress has occurred in most settings. In fact, there must have been some kind of harsh regression in most settings if you think about it.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:48 No.14133770

    Well, your idea of fantasy, perhaps.

    Even before D&D got the A slapped on (and then removed), the game world had a fucking LOT of high level NPCs, with about 99.9% of them being antagonists -- enemy fighters of a given level aren't any rarer than monsters of the equivalent threat, for instance. Originally, it noted that even these enemy humans you'd run into (not the same thing as a hostile adventuring party) even had infravision, so they were implied to be somehow monstrous, but is unclear.

    Similarly, there would typically be castles or strongholds laying around with a single, high level ruler who'd hassle PCs who came by.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:50 No.14133785
    >Well, your idea of fantasy, perhaps.
    Name a setting where the town guards carry visibly magical gear.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:53 No.14133812

    That has nothing to do with, well, anything, since no one advocated town guards having magic gear.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:57 No.14133851
    >no one advocated town guards having magic gear
    >a competent sergeant would have +2 armor
    A sergeant is a low-ranking officer. That's exactly what that ADND guy said was the norm. Your run of the mill town guard captain has +2 items.
    That's not the case in 3.x as far as I can tell.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:57 No.14133854
    The post was a response to >>14133671, which was specifically reliant on the fact that fantasy worlds are generally kept at medieval tech with only the barest influence of magic. Peasants still harvest crops with scythes and sickles, smiths still shape metal, people still use normal materials.

    AD&D's choice of giving magic items to average mercenaries and soldiers goes against this and suggests the idea that the world at large makes more use of magic items despite still being kept at a medieval tech level.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)02:58 No.14133859
    >a competent sergeant would have +2 armor
    >Your run of the mill town guard captain has +2 items.
    Most settings do not have town guards known for being competent.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)03:00 No.14133872
         File1299312045.png-(2.23 MB, 1600x1295, Clash of Champions.png)
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    Then why hasn't the town been overrun by any of the countless monsters lurking in the wilderness?
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)03:03 No.14133883
    Keep in mind, that poster didn't know wtf he was talking about.

    To be more specific, he apparently looked at how fighters get a few high level followers and somehow took that to mean that the elite followers you get once in a lifetime are the same as you can find in every city.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)03:03 No.14133884
    Adventurers, fucking duh.

    If the Guard was competent there would be no market for adventurers.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)03:06 No.14133911
    The fact you have a Warhammer Fantasy picture for that post is hilariously ironic, given the number of towns that /are/ overrun, whether it be in the Empire, in the Border Princes, in Brettonia, Araby, or all kinds of other places.
    Hell, even places that /do/ have competent guards (Kislev, Dwarf Holds, etc) often get raped.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)03:10 No.14133937
    They can be.

    But typically a town was at one point established or ruled over by a decent fighter.

    Of course, heredity doesn't usually work out too well. Unless its Birthright.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)03:12 No.14133945
    Wrong, it applies to average mercenaries and hirelings as well. They don't have as much advancement as a PC but they're not totally unequipped either.

    Right, and also magic weapons are rare as fuck in Warhammer Fantasy, which is kind of the point. D&D people have magic, and thus should do BETTER against the fairly standard enemies instead of being grossly incompetent and not using magic weapons.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)03:13 No.14133952
    Or at least the dominion which the town is a part of at one point was ruled by a decent fighter. Though nowhere does AD&D imply that there are military units of dudes with magic weapons... ever.

    There are a few references to perhaps 1% of soldiers equating to a first level fighter, though.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)03:22 No.14134004
    You are simply wrong. Nowhere does it state, or even imply that you can find large groups of high level NPCs with magic gear or multiple levels. 2e doesn't even imply officers will be anything other than level 0 troops.

    ...hmmm, you're probably thinking of 1e, in which case a serjeant (L1 fighter) of 10 troops (sp) does have a 5% chance of a magic sword, all the way on up to a captain of 100 men (L5 fighter) having a 25% chance of a magic sword.

    So even in 1e, in a group of 400 soldiers, you will probably find only about 2-3 people with magic weapons. That doesn't strike me as inappropriate.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)03:22 No.14134007
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    The pirate knocks you out.
    >> Alpharius 03/05/11(Sat)03:22 No.14134009
    >There are a few references to perhaps 1% of soldiers equating to a first level fighter
    Here is how my old group played it.
    Anyone with character levels is rare and elite.
    Anyone with a few character levels (5+) is one of the most powerful people in the world in terms of what they can personally do.
    Gilgamesh was a level 6 fighter. Ekindu was a level 6 barbarian. That's how we saw it.
    But I know that DND 3.x has official sources saying that the average nobleman has a bunch of NPC levels and stuff.
    You could play it that way. Or you could make even a few levels really mean something.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)03:25 No.14134029
    That probably worked well for your game, though not for any game I've been in. Gilgamesh would certainly be much higher than level 6 -- even in AD&D, with gods and demigods just being on the same power level as demon princes (more or less), Gilgamesh was still 2/3rds deity, so he'd certainly be a peer of someone like Orcus.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)03:33 No.14134105
    Right, and also magic weapons are rare as fuck in Warhammer Fantasy, which is kind of the point. D&D people have magic, and thus should do BETTER against the fairly standard enemies instead of being grossly incompetent and not using magic weapons.

    ... Except that, with the exception of dwarf holds, the invading forces are far more likely to have have magical stuff than defending forces, unless they are attacking a city. "Far more" being relative, of course. (Though if you accept that all Chaos Warrior armour is magical...)
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)03:35 No.14134122
         File1299314151.jpg-(118 KB, 653x786, 1297316905740.jpg)
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    >I pull out a bucket and start bilging water out of the Chimera. I bet there's a leak or something in this piece of shit.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)03:37 No.14134136
    The amount of guys with magic weaponry in a WHFB army and in a 1e army aren't terribly distinct from each other.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)03:45 No.14134193
    Ooops, >>14134105 should have been
    >Right, and also magic weapons are rare as fuck in Warhammer Fantasy, which is kind of the point. D&D people have magic, and thus should do BETTER against the fairly standard enemies instead of being grossly incompetent and not using magic weapons.

    ... Except that, with the exception of dwarf holds, the invading forces are far more likely to have have magical stuff than defending forces, unless they are attacking a city. "Far more" being relative, of course. (Though if you accept that all Chaos Warrior armour is magical...)
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)04:04 No.14134329
    > Rogue: As soon as his back is turned I stab him.
    > DM: But then you really were lying and needed to roll bluff.
    > Rogue: Nope, my character was telling the truth when he said that,
    > he just changed his mind.

    DM: [Rolls anything] What a coincidence! The guard changed his mind about lowering his sword, too. Roll for anal circumference.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)04:31 No.14134547
    >Implying you have never changed your mind in your life.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)04:43 No.14134621
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    >we're underground, the way back up is nigh unclimbable
    >surrounded by poisonous mushrooms mutated by spellplague
    >ground's covered in moss
    >whole cave is filled with a power tearing apart the fabric of reality itself
    >the way through is part of a skill challenge encouraging the group to work together and communicate

    >"Let's use a daily power to set all the mushrooms on fire!"
    >> Anonymous 03/05/11(Sat)09:31 No.14135890
    >Implying the rogue was not just being a shitstain who was trying to just get away with a free backstab because he "lol changed my mind, I totally want to murder him instead of help him".

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